Quantum Leap - Season 1 Edit

A ball game? I nearly died because you were at a ball game?

A beta sympathomimetic.

A Captain Birdell, who everyone simply called Bird Dog.

A couple of minutes ago I was in the hospital with Peg.

A fella could be barbecued doing that.

A five percent solution of ethanol alcohol in dextrose and water...

A minute ago you said it was crap.

A switch hitter, Fox has 28 home runs this year, 12 of them batting left handed.

A tux? In here?

According to Ziggy, you hit... 415 in '63 and got called up to Chicago...

Affecting your minds how?

Ain't no fire warning light.

Ain't nobody gonna take your picture.

Al Al, what do I do?

Al!

Al!

Al! I wish you would stop doing that.

Al? Where are you? Right here.

Albert what, I can't tell you, because it's restricted.

Albert.!

Alcohol.

All I have to do is flow with it, and I'll wake up.

All right, all right. If there are no further questions, gentlemen, let's mount up.

All right, give me the big one. Right down the middle.

All right, now, put some fire under it.!

All right, you want a sure thing? I got it for you.

All right.

All right. 240 indicated. Here we go, ladies.

All right. She's leveling off.

All right. Starting my run. Firing rocket three.

All you have to do is relax and...

Allow me to introduce myself.

Although, I doubt she'd believe it.

Am I dead? What?

And come with me

And he wasn't gonna stop barking until they all knew.

And I can't even remember my name.

And I certainly don't care how turned on she got.

And I I I don't have the number.

And I will ring Elk Ridge Information.

And if I ever find her we'll never fall apart

And if it's a nightmare, sooner or later,

And live.

And Mom's pumpkin pie has taken a blue ribbon at the Elk Ridge County Fair for ten years.

And now? Tom's alive!

And one of the first things my dad taught me was how to face the wild ones down.

And some people say there's still a top secret project out there.

And that I was an air force captain named Tom Stratton...

And the Bombers have pulled within a run. Ooo wee.!

And the days of your life touch each other out of sequence.

And the second part? Landing?

And the sonic booms you hear today will be dedicated to you.

And there are no clouds. I can see the stars.

And we never get a chance to dance.

And whoever she is, she's certainly... pregnant.

And you didn't drink more than one or two beers...

And you know Brenda, the cute little redhead in coding?

And you will. But, uh,

And you're experiencing technical difficulties?

And you're gonna hang up your spikes. Then what?

And, uh, I don't want to end it in the cellar.

And, uh, uh, we're experiencing...

Are gone to Las Vegas. It might work.

Are trying to perpetrate, mister, I'll see you never fly again!

Are you experiencing a problem? Over.

Are you serious, Sam?

Are you serious? Dead serious. No pun intended.

Area code? You never tell us codes, Dad. That's secret stuff.

As nightmares go, this one is definitely taking a turn for the better.

At 12,000 and dropping.

At a table full of pilots and you didn't talk airplanes.

At least it would be for me.

At least you were before your brain got magna foozled.

At six months, you dance one, and then sit one out.

At the party later, I met this dish named Martha.

At the United Nations in an effort to cool down the heightened tensions between...

Aw, Dad. Unless you wanna set the table.

Bad enough I have to give Dick and Jane explanations to the president.

Ball the loop...

Barnes lines a solid shot down the aisle in right center.

Barry, do me a favor.

Basically, what you already know.

Be awful lonesome in there without him.

Be patient in there now! Be patient!

Been born in '53 and lived in the future.

Before we mount up, there's one more thing. We believe the fire warning light...

Behind 0 and 2 in the count, he looks determined not to let another pitch go by.

Believing that you're the person you replaced.

Besides that, it's true.

Bird Dog and I have been dreaming up theories to explain why I can't fly.

Bird Dog, Tom, can you read me? Over.

Bird Dog's gonna be here to pick you up in about 10 minutes.

Bob Smith and Howdy too

Bombs away.

Bombs away.

Boys and girls at home and all our kids here in the gallery, let's go!

Brings back so many old memories.

Burma Shave. I love those little signs.

But as you know, my war wounds physically disqualify me.

But considering the shock that your wife's been through...

But Dr. Berger and I have just finished a questionnaire...

But he ain't anywhere close to being otherwise test pilot equipped.

But he's not me.

But his wife went into premature labor, and the baby was stillborn.

But I think you'll find most are rather unusual.

But if you persist in wasting our time with this little sham you and Captain Birdell...

But it'll still work. Use your brain, damn it!

But it's also on top of Ziggy's no no list, double starred.

But it's the old pro who can bring it back without...

But not about how you look.

But sometimes it can't happen.

But this is '56.

But we can talk about this later. Come on. I hate to miss the game.

But we don't have to if you don't feel good.

But we've been popping champagne for six days.

But when I don't show for Thanksgiving, it's it's gonna hurt him.

But where is as meaningful and more discreet.

But you were born with two left feet... until tonight.

But... we're a lot closer.

By Shneck and Shneck Funeral Parlors,

Can explain why we couldn't retrieve you this morning.

Can he milk cows?

Can I try now, Dad?

Can't you just fade in or something?

Captain Birdell encountered at Mach 2.6 was a result of inadequate insulation.

Captain LaMott might have a complicated wristwatch,

Captain Stratton has answered each question as if he had...

Captain, the only reason I'm not kicking you from here to the flight line...

Chase One, hold on niner east.

Come and get it. Uh...

Come on, Jackson's up. He's gonna hit a homer with one on!

Come on.

Come on.

Coming from you, that means... that means a lot.

Coming up on Mach 1.

Created by a subatomic agitation of carbon quarks...

Dad died in '74.

Dad, I know you're trying to make me look good.

Dad?

Dad? What's wrong?

Daddy!

Daddy's in the shower. What's your number?

Damn, I can't remember. Stick to the farm.

Damn, Tom, that's what makes you the best, that sincere look.

Dead. Am I dead? It would explain a lot.

Did what?

Did you ever think of taking flying lessons?

Did you hear any of that, Barry? Yeah, I did.

Did you see it?

Did you see that roll and flip he did at the top, Dad?

Did you tell anyone that you're not Tom Stratton?

Do you really believe that? Absolutely. I don't know.

Do you want to tell me how in the hell Captain Stratton...

Doctor, any memory loss I suffer won't be faked.

Doctor, we could be on the verge of a momentous discovery.

Doctor's orders. But I feel fine,

Doctors.

Don't ask me what my last name is because I can't remember it.

Don't tell me you've been led astray by that junior birdman.

Don't turn above Mach 2. Don't turn above Mach 2.

Don't yell, please!

Dr. Berger, could you design a test to quantify these apparent memory losses?

Dr. Berger, please contact the ward nurse.

Dr. Cooper to O.R. 3. Dr. Cooper to O.R. 3.

Dr. Ernst suggested that,

Dr. Ernst was right. You are one sick bastard.

Drop in ten, nine, eight,

Edwards, Mother Hen. Level at 25,000.

Edwards, Mother Hen. Level at 25,000.

Either someone blocked Peg's view of the guy in the tux,

Elk Ridge, Indiana. Number, please.

Ernst Berger. We'll need this filled out before you take off on Monday.

Even a nightmare.

Even at six months, I found Peg... stunningly beautiful.

Even if I never... I never told him.

Even...

Everyone seemed to think it was 1956,

Everything is so nice. Let's not spoil it.

Everything looks okay. Mach 2.4.

Evidently, my best friend was the officer behind the wheel,

Evidently.

Excuse me. Tom?

Filling it out last night sure brought back a lot of old ones for me.

Fire warning light.

Five, four,

Flash hit a stand up double.

Fly?

Follow my lead. Light off one and two.

For visible signs of fire.

Four, three, two,

Fox flied out to center. I'm not Fox.

Fox steps back into the box. He digs in.

Fox, representing the winning run, steps to the plate.

Fox! Do something!

Foxy! Foxy! Foxy!

Funny thing. They happened to name her Samantha.

Get her instantly drunk,

Get in there.

Gets his fly snagged now and then.

Getting a second chance to put things right,

Give me one with a four bagger in it, son.

Given enough time, you can get used to anything,

Go fly out.

Go on, Foxy.

Go, Foxy! Go, Foxy!

Good bye.

Good luck, Tom.

Good luck.

Good luck.

Good morning, sweet pea. How are you?

Good morning.

Good.

Gooshie, he got so wasted that he had Ziggy printing X rated pictures.

Got me through some long, cold nights at M.I.T.

Got to eat trout while it's sizzling.

Guess.

Hang on to the stick and ka za zoom, Mach 3.

Hang on, beautiful.

He didn't research it enough. Originally, Tom Stratton not only died,

He kind of reminds me of me back in the old days.

He knew. The little sucker knew.

He knows. You think so?

He may come for the holidays.

He programs Ziggy. Ziggy's a hybrid computer.

He'll go on living forward from where he's at now.

He's a computer. He's got a big ego.

He's got a sick mind, Doctor. They all do.

He's leaping. Ziggy said no, but Sam's leaping.

He's safe!

He's with you? Of course.

Hell, if I could lie with a straight face like you, my bird dogging rate would double.

Hell, those didn't come out till the late '70s. Excuse us a minute, Doctor.

Hello?

Her brain's releasing to stimulate the uterine contractions.

Here comes the throw to second, and he Safe!

Here we go, gang. Bird Dog's about to pounce.

Here's Velton Bunch and the Dovetones.

Hey, Captain Crawford, wanna play catch?

Hey, come on, Sam. We're missing the game!

Hey, Dad, that calf is gonna drop any second.

Hey, did you set a record?

Hey, flyboy, the squares are gone.

Hey, flyboy.

Hey, Fox! Tim, this is my last year too,

Hey, Fox.! Fox, what ya posing for?

Hey, have they got "Be Bop A Lula" on there?

Hey, pal, it's not my theory. There's gotta be another way.

Hey, slow down, will ya? I'm fighting a hangover.

Hey, they were gonna lose him on Monday anyway.

Hey, Tom, do you read me? Come in, X 2.

Hey, Tom, this is gonna sound a little weird, but...

Hey, Tony, I'm tired of hauling your butt around.

Hey, wait a minute. Listen to this.

Hey, what say we pull it on Weird Ernie.

Hey, Ziggy blew it! Yeah.

Hey! No way.

Hey. Hey hey hey, hoo hoo.

Hey. Hey, I'm okay.

Hi, baby.

Hi, Tom. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hmm? Don't ask.

Hmm.

Hold it... and let it out like this.

Honey, there is nothing finer in life.

Honey, what's wrong? Who do you see in the mirror?

Honey, you're supposed to say, "Peg, I love prunes."

How about that? You don't sound Australian, Sam.

How could I be late? We've just met.

How did it work? Better than my electric razor,

How do you think we located you? When you went in, he came out.

How does he do it? Probably wearing his hat.

How far apart are the contractions?

How would you know? You never sleep in the B.O.Q

How you go about doing that's a lot more important

How?

How'd you get here so fast?

Huh! Listen to me telling you what your father did.

Hustle, boys! Now hustle! We're gonna beat these Okies.

Hybrid computers and neurological holograms didn't exist in 1956.

I I'm a Beckett.

I can't fly.

I can't fly.

I can't remember anything.

I can't remember the last time you sat...

I can't remember.

I can't remember.

I could be in a reverse reincarnation that's entered in midlife.

I didn't know you or Mikey... or anyone else at the base.

I don't believe it.!

I don't even remember going to bed with this woman, whoever she is.

I don't know, Al. Maybe I'm here to win this one.

I don't know. It sounds pretty plausible to me.

I don't see any reason to keep you in the hospital. But in the meantime,

I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it home for Thanksgiving this year.

I don't use an electric razor, do I? No.

I don't want to disappoint my dad, but I...

I don't want to risk moving her.

I eject? Mmm.

I got a few of them.

I got such a damn hangover. It could be a Coors pop top.

I gotta stop drinking so much coffee. It's making me jumpy.

I guess I can thank God you didn't spend the night with this Martha.

I guess so. Oh, I'm so proud of you!

I guess we beat that gremlin.

I haven't got a lot of time. I have to find out which of these scenarios...

I just did that to show you what not to do.

I just talked to my Uncle John's son from Australia.

I knew how it was gonna end when I took Brenda into the filing room.

I know it sounds like I belong in a loony bin, but it's the truth.

I like it. It's so crazy, I like it.

I look in a mirror, and I see...

I love you too, Peg.

I love you, Dad.

I love you.

I mean, here I am, a daring air force test pilot who doesn't have to fly.

I mean, I didn't want to punch out inverted, but what the hell else could I do?

I mean, if anything, that spin became even flatter.

I mean, isn't this just great?

I mean, one minute I'm Tom Stratton, and the next I'm a ball player named Fox.

I mean, that's a first. It's Nobel Prize time.

I mean, you gotta believe that God or time or something...

I never bought into that "good deed, put time right" bull. Not really.

I never felt anything like it.

I never forgot Lucy's birthday until I flew at Mach 2.5.

I never realized how hard it was to follow a road without striping.

I never thought of that. What?

I promise.

I promise.

I really am.

I should've stayed in bed with Tina.

I still took her.

I tell Weird Ernie that I forgot how to fly.

I think he knows what you have to do. He's just afraid to print it out in case he's wrong.

I think it's Peg.

I thought we were gonna call it the Berger Ernst Engramic Standard.

I thought you had a brain tumor or something.

I wake up in '56 with a memory like Swiss cheese,

I want to watch the game. Will you follow me?

I was at the Laker game. It went into overtime.

I was just thinking that, you know,

I was raised on a dairy farm in Indiana...

I was raised on a farm with... my sister Kate.

I wasn't in a talkative mood. You were at the jukebox.

I went to college at...

I wish I could, Captain LaMott. I truly wish I could.

I would love to... fix that flat for you, but I can't. I mean...

I'd better help your mom.

I'd like to wake up now.

I'd trade my ex wife for any wreck they got.

I'll be back in a minute. I'm just gonna... you know.

I'll be right back.

I'll be there in two minutes.

I'll be your copilot. You're a hologram.

I'll bring it back now, and I'll show you how it should be done.

I'll figure it out in the morning when I milk the cows.

I'll get my sweater, Sam.

I'll get the next one. Did you ask for time?

I'll never get used to it.

I'll put the coffee on, Tom.

I'll remember that.

I'll take it.

I'll tell you tomorrow night.

I'm a hologram to you, right? Well, you and everything around you is a hologram to me.

I'm a lot friendlier than he is.

I'm a man, like you.

I'm afraid so. Well, how stupid do they think I am?

I'm also an ex astronaut. The hardest part about flying is taking off and landing.

I'm being a real nerd.

I'm Captain Bill Birdell and...

I'm gonna cut you loose and see which of us gets back to that blonde first.

I'm gonna fish further upstream. Roger.

I'm gonna go feed the old jukebox. I'll be right back.

I'm gonna make an allowance for your behavior up to now.

I'm I'm I'm trying, Operator, but it's been a long time.

I'm in a real identity crisis here, Al.

I'm in big trouble here.

I'm John's son.

I'm just kidding. I know.

I'm just... I'm catching a cold.

I'm not really her husband, Tom.

I'm not sure which one. Obstetrics isn't my specialty. Probably ritodrine or terbuta...

I'm not that wasted.

I'm scheduled to test fly the X 2 on Monday.

I'm sorry to pull you from your barbecue,

I'm sorry, Peg.

I'm still here. Hmm. 'Bout time you realized it.

I'm still here. No, damn it, I'm still here.!

I'm sure gonna try.

I'm, uh...

I've experienced that. And I'm starting to forget things, like my wife's birthday.

I've gotta give you one too. All right.

If I leap forward again. What if I leap back?

If I'm part of an experiment, then this all isn't a psychotic hallucination, is it?

If it's any consolation, his memory is full of holes too.

If Martha woke up and found out that I'd gone without even saying good morning, you know?

If there are any significant changes in your memory, we should be able to detect them.

If there's one guy who could figure out how to bring you back...

If they would paint white stripes along the side of the road,

If we're gonna be able to retrieve you on Tuesday.

If you can't remember, I can't tell you. It's important.

If you don't clear this radio, Captain Birdell,

If you should experience a red light around Mach 2.6,

If you're testing one of your gags on us, I don't have time for it and neither do you.

If Ziggy's right, all you have to do is break Mach 3...

In a couple of minutes you're gonna fly out to center.

In Elk Ridge, Indiana.

In fact, I don't know what I can do.

In other words, I could be bouncing around in time forever?

In the entire United States Air Force brave enough to fly the X 2.

Indiana, please.

Intravenously administered will stop labor.

Is affecting our minds.

Is everybody back there okay where they're at?

Is it?

Is she dilated any further?

Is that a Ginger Quill spent wing?

Is that woman down the hall needs you.

Isn't such a bad deal after all.

Isn't this great?

It could be that pregnant women hold some strange attraction for me, but...

It didn't take long to find out why.

It doesn't mean I don't love him. I do, and I miss him a lot too,

It feels real.

It like to broke my heart

It may have seemed like a couple of minutes to you,

It requires you to be at ground zero during an atomic detonation.

It seemed to me that's all we talked about.

It seems simple enough. I'll, hum... I'll have it for you on Monday.

It seems the faster I fly, the less I remember about it.

It smells real.

It was a little scary too. Why scary?

It wasn't just a ball game. It was a play off game.

It would be easier to see.

It'll take more than a gremlin to kill me.

It's a dream.

It's a kick in the butt, ain't it?

It's a natural gift, son. It's a natural gift.

It's a nightmare.

It's an image that only you can see and hear.

It's Beckett.

It's been a week since you quantum leaped. A week?

It's early labor. It's just started. How far dilated?

It's Howdy Doody time

It's incredible!

It's not a dream.

It's not a sham. Those answers are true.

It's not good, Captain. The baby's gonna arrive at least nine weeks premature.

It's not nice.

It's not the first time we danced.

It's the cellar for the third year in a row.

It's the fuel, Sam.

It's time to mount up, Tom.

It's you.

It's your decision, Tom. I'd recommend delivering here and flying the baby to L.A.

It's your dog.

It's your only tux, and you're late for your wedding.

Jackson hits a towering smash...

John Beckett?

John's son? My God, he moved to Australia when I was just a kid.

Just a thought.

Just don't ask me to fly.

Just don't sneak up on me. You still don't remember our project?

Just promise.

Katie married a naval officer.

Kick in the butt, ain't it?

Last time I busted Mach 2, I forgot where I parked my car.

Level at 70,000. Mach 2.4.

Level at 70,000. Mach 2.4. On a profile.

Level at 71,000.

Like fly the X 2 to Mach 3 and live?

Locked tight. All set, Captain. Good luck.

Long distance?

Long distance.

Long Distance.

Look at me. Look at me. Take a deep breath.

Look at that.

Look at this.

Look, I know you want to be with your mom.

Look, we've got all night, okay?

Look, whoever this is, I got no time for tomfoolery.

Looking for what's left of you.

Lucy, you're five months pregnant.

Mach 1.3 and accelerating.

Mach 1.3. 50,000. N N Nosing over.

Mach 1.3. Nosing over.

Mach 1.7.

Mach 2.

Mach 2. 68, 69.

Mach 2.4, 2.5. Outside skin temperature. 685.

Mach 2.4.

Mach 2.4.

Mach 2.5.

Mach 2.7.

Mach 2.8.

Make it snappy.

Many words of praise

Match my movements.

Maybe I just needed a well rounded partner.

Maybe it's one of Weird Ernie's gremlins.

Maybe not. A few tests at the hospital, and you should be able to go home.

Maybe they have to.

Maybe you could leap back when you least suspect it, like tonight when you're sleeping.

Maybe.

Me? Why me?

Medicine is just one of them. Your special gift was quantum physics.

Mikey, tell Captain Birdell that Daddy will call him as soon as he gets out of the shower.

Mmm.

Mom's lived with them in Hawaii ever since...

Most of what you're gonna wanna know is restricted.

Most women bloom when they get pregnant. I shrivel.

Mother Hen heading 2 5 0 2 6 0...

Mother Hen, Edwards. Do you have a problem? Over.

Mother Hen, Edwards. Radar indicates you are in a 40 degree per minute turn to the right.

Mother Hen, you are cleared to roll.

My dad is still alive.

My father and your father are related.

My name is Albert.

My name's not Tom.

Nah, I think it's another false alarm.

Nice catch, Foxy.

No kidding.

No wonder they're in the cellar. They got about as much enthusiasm as a $10 hooker.

No, I don't know Brenda, or I don't remember Brenda.

No, Jim. Jim Bonick.

No, no, no. The guy in the tux.

No, no. See, I'm a medical doctor. I found that much out.

No, not mine.

No, that's Gooshie.

No, Tom.

No! Yes!

No.

No. Nobody lives forever.

No. Play ball. All right. Let's go.

Nobody else could miss her

Nobody's gonna fall for that old "talking to somebody who ain't there" gag.

Nosing over.

Nosing over.

Not a bad name.

Not bad, not bad. Right in the glove. Right in the glove.

Not half as much as me

Not that I had a choice.

Nothing cures a cold faster than a fishing trip.

Nothing. Any interference could kill him.

Now ease the stick forward. That's enough.

Now you can't make it to Australia for the holidays,

Now, ain't this a kick in the butt?

Now, everyone has to believe that you're Tom Stratton...

Now, remember, Mikey, even your best fly fisherman...

Now, we've got a plane standing by...

Now, what did I promise?

Number, please.

Oakdell.

Obviously when it comes to quantum physics, you're still a mental slug.

Of course it'll work.

Of course you can. Start her on a beta sympathomimetic. A what?

Of course, if you bust Mach 3 and survive,

Of course, it had been a long time since I was a kid.

Of course, you don't have to be around for all of that.

Oh, boy!

Oh, boy.

Oh, God, that putz Ziggy was right.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. What the hell?

Oh, honey, the P.X. was out of your shaving cream,

Oh, honey, you had me scared to death.

Oh, honey, you'll do it. You're gonna be the fastest man alive.

Oh, honey, you're not gonna fly if you're sick, are you?

Oh, I don't know. Maybe because...

Oh, I knew you'd keep your promise.

Oh, I look awful.

Oh, I lost her!

Oh, it feels nice.

Oh, it was a hell of a party too.

Oh, look.

Oh, Lord. My right one. Okay?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my. And I don't see a wedding ring.

Oh, this? This is an experimental model.

Oh, Tom, would you cut it out? You nearly scared me into delivering.

Oh, Tom!

Oh, Tom. No, you're six months along, Peg.

Oh, Tom. Sometimes...

Oh!

Oh?

Oh.

Oh. What did you think of this, Tom?

Oh.! Oh.!

Okay, I'll be right.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

On profile.

On profile.

Once that's put right, you'll snap back like a pimp's suspenders.

Once what's put right?

Once you've got the touch, you never lose it.

One end of this string represents your birth.

One nine. Mach 2.

One.

One. Albert!

Only in theory. But this is '56.

Ooh, who makes this?

Operator, I'd like long distance, please.

Operator.

Or a fatal disease, you'll be back in 40 years.

Or maybe a Blue Dunn? I don't know.

Or my left? Gosh, Peg.

Or remember the experiment. What experiment?

Or talk flying.

Or the bogeyman had arrived.

Or the butt of a momentous joke.

Other than my name and a telephone number, not a lot. What experiment?

Outside skin temperature. 683.

Over the Shneck and Shneck billboard in center field.!

Pace is chasing it back into the corner. Barnes is rounding first.

Peg gave birth to a healthy baby girl, seven pounds, eight ounces.

Peg went into premature labor when she heard the crash.

Peg? Hmm?

Pet rocks. Water beds.

Please don't... Then stop doing this, okay?

Please, don't hang up.

Please, God,

Pretty simple, huh?

Promise me.

Pull, Sam. Eject.!

Put on your bonnet your cape and your glove

Que sera, sera

Que sera, sera

Quite frankly, if this theory had come from you, I'd be skeptical.

Read this.

Ready as I'll ever be.

Relax. I can. Al?

Retrieving you is dependent upon everyone here...

Ride her, cowboy.

Right before I got the fire warning light, I swear I smelled coffee brewing.

Right down the middle. No batter, no batter, no batter, no batter.

Right now I want you to stay with Sally and Lucy, okay?

Rockets off.

Roger, Mother Hen. You are clear to drop.

Roger, Mother Hen. You are clear to drop.

Roger. And get his number. You know him. He never sleeps at the B.O.Q

Roger. Coming back to you for a look see.

Sally, he's a writer. They're only used to the finer things in life.

Sam Beckett.

Sam, it's nice to have the children home for the holidays,

Secret? What the hell is secret about an area code?

Seems like someone wanted both Tom and Samantha to survive.

Serving Waco and the Texas Hill Country for 43 years.

Seven, six,

Seven, six, five,

Shave.

She cried so when I left her

She doesn't have to deliver. I know what I'm talking about. Now you're a doctor?

She got so turned on!

She was in the chemistry lab researching the...

She'll be fine, son.

She's gonna have one beaut of a hangover, but she's not gonna deliver.

Shneck and Shneck will always be there to bring you home."

Shoot, he's the only pilot left in the B.O.Q

Shut 'em down.!

Shut down until the chase plane can catch up and check you over...

Since he's the one you bounced out.

Sir, do you want Elk Ridge Information?

Sir, why don't you give me the name of the party,

Sir?

Sixty six.

Skin temperature. 800.

So I got you some of that stuff, uh...

So I'm stuck here? I don't think so.

So it'll be easier for us if you don't ask a lot of questions.

So now it's my fault. Possibly.

Some, like your age, place of birth, are the usual statistics.

Something that happened in the life of Captain Tom Stratton in '56,

Something to do with the deep space probe or a...

Sometimes Doug wears his goggles.

Soon as we can figure out what needs to be put right, you'll leap outta here.

Sort of a personal "Trivial Pursuit"?

Sort of like a bird dog flushing quail.

Sort of. Oh, Sam.

Stay tuned for all the denizens of Doodyville...

Staying at the ranch as his weekend guest?

Staying at the ranch this weekend.

Stray dogs are pretty common on the farm belt,

Strike one!

Strike three.!

Strike two!

Strike!

Striping?

Sure do. Fire one on in there, Mikey.

Take her up to 25 while I answer Mother Nature.

Technical difficulties in, uh, retrieving you.

Technically, he could end up the oldest man alive.

Ten, nine, eight,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks, Al.

Thanks, guys.

That I am gonna see

That is always possible.

That last one had to be over 100 miles an hour.

That was before I thought it out.

That was five years ago.

That went a little caca.

That you're, uh, part of a time travel experiment...

That's a good one, Sam. You know my name.

That's a very good idea, Tom.

That's all I need, a good night's sleep.

That's all right.

That's all they talked about. You didn't say a word.

That's called death. I never said it would be easy.

That's Doug.

That's fascinating.

That's great, Al.

That's it. I'm dreaming.

That's not what I meant. Look, I'm fine.

That's sad, pal, very sad.

That's the morning report on KHOl.

That's to be expected. To us, Tom looks just like you.

That's what I'm afraid of.

That's your safest option. And Tom Stratton?

The B 50 does the first part for you. After that, you just fire a couple of rockets,

The baby won't have a chance. Not much, but your wife will.

The Berger Ernst Engramic Trivial Pursuit.

The Bombers are gonna finish another season in the cellar,

The bottom of the ninth is brought to you tonight, as it has been all year long,

The future's not ours to see

The heat is boiling the fuel. Shut 'em down, Sam. Shut 'em down!

The hell with the game! It's your last one in organized ball.

The moment you touch down, you leap forward, Tom leaps back, and the broad and I...

The nearest neonatal intensive care unit's in L.A.

The next one's only got a 52% chance of working.

The next son of a gun that swings at the first pitch, I'm gonna fine 50 bucks!

The odds drop into the low teens after that.

The only yellow rose you'll be seeing will be the one I'll shove up your afterburners.

The other end, your death. You tie the ends together, and your life is a loop.

The pattern is yours. Good luck.

The reason I'm acting different is because I am different.

The secretary of state appeared to be acting as a go between...

The sooner you shave, the sooner you'll wake up.

The technique was developed in the '60s. Beta sympathomimetics replaced it in the '70s.

The truth is...

The tying run is on second, and the potential winning run is coming up to bat!

Then again,

Then it's early enough to stop. Captain, once labor's started you can't stop it.