Jerry Smith: Master of Mundanity Ultimate Soundboard Edit

A moment of your time.

A word。

Ah.

Ain't no game sucka.

And I disagree.

And will now be on my way.

And you're just being mean.

Are you kidding me?

Are you losing your mind?

Are you ready to be nice to me?

Arrête.

Bob Saget.

Boom. Told you in your face.

Brad Anderson.

Can I？

Can we please talk about our situation?

Can you?

Cool.

Cyborgs and wormholes and all that weird stuff.

Damn it. Damn it.

Do you still love me?

For real.

Good night.

Ha ha ha 2

Happy to help.

Have you ever tried to relax? It is a paradox.

Have you ever tried to relax? It is a paradox.

Hello.

Hey buddy, what you got going on there?

Hey, I'm going to Make Love to my wife.

Hey.

Hi, I'm sorry, I think there was a misunderstanding. I'm an adult and would like to go home please.

Hi.

How is my son supposed to pass his classes if you keep dragging him off for a high concept sci-fi rigmarole?

I almost wish I could stay longer than one day.

I am finally complete.

I don't get it.

I don't think this is working.

I don't think this is working. I give up.

I got it. Noted. Good night.

I guess this is what rock bottom feels like, Jerry.

I hate Christmas.

I have a rare antique coin collection. Just don't hurt me.

I have an idea.

I love lasagna.

I mean, I'm trimming the hedges and these things are just hanging there. Was I supposed to think the poop Bunny left them?

I sense you're busy.

I suppose.

I told you so.

I want to file a declaration that Pluto is a planet.

I will come to the hotel room and blow my brains out all over your naked bodies.

I would like to take two strokes off my golf game.

I'm a good person and I demand that you cut off my penis and put it in that man's chest.

I'm an idiot.

I'm flattered and humbled.

I'm Jerry Smith.

I'm Jerry Smith.

I'm leaving.

I'm Mr. Crowbar.

I'm not stupid.

I'm sorry.

I'm.

If you'll have me, I would love to have you.

Is everything OK?

It's a really common name.

It's personal.

It's your bedtime in an hour. Don't stay up all night again.

Jerry Smith Yeah

Jerry Smith.

Jerry Smith.

Jerry。

Judgmental monster bitch.

Just need a few $100 to get through them on. I have some interviews coming up.

Knock. Knock.

Lasting Christmas last arrived on the Christmas Christmas.

Look, I want to say that today was the best day of my life.

Making conversation.

Maybe you're right.

Merry Christmas.

Nailed it.

No, no, no foot down time.

No, stop. I hate this.

No, stop. I hate this.

No.

No.

No.

Now。

Of course, Pluto is a planet sun.

Oh my God, that's the best sex I've ever had in my life.

Oh my God. Thank you.

Oh yeah, just masturbating.

Oh, this place is great.

Oh, you know what? I gotta I gotta laugh at myself Here. I'm having a little laugh at myself because I just realized I haven't run this whole decision past my wife.

OK, I'm going to go out for some ice cream.

OK, maybe not antique, but it was a limited minting. They have little R2D2's instead of George Washington.

OK. Yeah.

OK。

Ouais.

Out.

Outside.

Planet. Planet. Planet. Planet.

Please。

Pluto was a planet. Some committee of fancy assholes disagree. I disagree back.

Really？

Screw you.

See you in 10 minutes.

So here's the thing. These guys, they want to completely remove my penis and use it as an alien's heart and we just need you to sign off on it.

So I sold it. I sold the idea.

So your teenage daughters marrying a Birdman and you guys down with that? No pun intended.

Some kind of literature for a really nice looking nursing home. Crazy idea, bad pitch. Let's put your dad here. Let's put your dad in a nursing home.

Some people just can't handle the truth.

Something's gonna come through. I can feel it.

Sorry I wasn't paying attention.

South Pole.

Sure sounds important.

Talking about.

Thank you, Sir.

Thank you。

Thank you。

That's ridiculous.

The trick to cereal is keeping 70% of it above the milk.

Then my son's going to fail a science class. And when that happens, I'm suing you first.

This is a dog.

This is a huge misunderstanding.

This is a huge misunderstanding.

This is gonna be fun.

This is good though this can work.

We both know you're not as fast as the other kids and if you want to compete in this world, you got to work twice as hard.

We need to have a serious conversation.

Well, all is forgiven because right now I've got an erection the size of an East Coast lighthouse and I'm coming home to share it with my beautiful wife.

Well, I'm not calling him that. That's ridiculous.

Well, isn't that convenient.

Well, it couldn't have been easy for you to say that. I appreciate it.

Well, say something. Do you like it?

What am I nuts?

What are apples?

What did you think when you were five and you pooped your pants and you threw your poopy undies out your bedroom window because you thought it was like throwing something in the garbage?

What do you mean?

What happened to you?

What the hell?

What？

Where am I?

Whoa, what is this on the floor?

Why are you looking at me?

Why don't we just burn Galileo at the stake for saying the sun is round?

Yeah, it is.

Yeah, you like that. Now who's unremarkable? Are you hungry for apples? Are you hungry? For apples.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes。

You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own.

You back the right horse on this one, son.

You called it a planet.

You got some kind of hand shaped device that can open this mayonnaise jar.

You guys are doing it wrong.

You guys are gross and lame.

You guys suck.

You know what? No.

You know what? No.

You make that dog smart or Marty's grounded.

You think you can control me with a haircut?

You think you can control me with a haircut?

You think you know a guy?

You wouldn't by any chance have some sort of crazy science thing you could whip up that might help make this dog a little smarter, would you?

Your like。

アース。

イエス。

いや。

うん、うん。

グッド。

ジュディアンド。

なおな。

なぜん？

バーイ。

ははは？

ハロー。

ヘイ。

モーリ。

わお。