Sex and the City - Season 4 Edit

A belief that someone, somewhere, is holding the key to your heart

A bite.

A cook? How far is my country from your country?

A drink where? Ye olde country lemonade stand?

A few blocks south, Charlotte was also in a compromising position.

A few days later, Trey felt better too.

A gift in anticipation of the great gift you're giving me.

A large medium, Steve.

A little machine with a big message.

A little more moo shu, my moo shu?

A little muddy. I guess from that rain.

A man with a plan. Smoke, please.

A phone call here and there. Do you think I should invite him?

A running buddy who pushed her into the nine minute mile group.

A small way of saying thank you for inviting me, for being braver than me

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit.

A witty, yet sexy, yet sensitive note to Aidan.

A zip drive can provide a surprising amount of comfort.

About talking on the phone.

About the phone or staring at my nipples?

According to Steve's girlfriend, Jessica,

Across the room from the two soul couple...

Across town, Samantha was getting some male as well.

Actually, Bunny, most of the newer beds don't even need dust ruffles.

Actually, I was wearing gloves at the time, but thanks.

Actually, the country's looking pretty good to me now.

Admit it! You're being judgmental!

After all the hours I've listened to you talk about your relationships.

After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart.

After all, I'm not a man.

After church, most people go out for pancakes.

After I paid $70 for my own birthday cake,

After the ball plan backfired, Miranda took Steve out to dinner.

After the burial,

Aidan kissed me! We miss kissed.

Aidan loves the country so maybe I'll love the country.

Aidan needed an air bag in the bathroom.

Aidan never came over last night. He said he would, but he didn't.

Aidan worked very hard on this place.

Aidan, Aidan, this pimple, Aidan. We don't need an hour.

Aidan, on the other hand...

Aidan, please. Stop touching it.

Aidan, you can't keep punishing me.

All over.

All right, I'm up. Twosies.

All right, put your... There you go.

All right.

All right.

All right. Ready?

All right. That sounds fun. Thank you.

All right. We've got to figure out what we're doing here.

All righty, then. Call you tomorrow.

All that fucking and talking. Men work so hard!

All we ever do is lie in the bath and talk about feelings.

Also, I'm on the board of the Lenox Hill Paediatric AlDS Foundation.

Although there are over eight million people on Manhattan,

Am I out of the ass loop forever? I can't ask for it.

An hour and two bottles of red wine later, Big started talking.

An hour later, since my ghost hadn't reappeared,

And about the hot guys...

And appreciate it for what it is. I wish I had my bass.

And at about 3:00 am, it became very clear that I was being punished

And back when you're done.

And certain behaviour is assured to get you kicked out.

And confronted Samantha.

And do something worthwhile like have a baby and cure AlDS.

And do whatever it is you sexy doctor types do.

And for suggesting that we can be friends.

And get rid of this old apartment.

And had a New York steak with my New York ex.

And his tongue was hanging out the side of his mouth.

And I can't keep punishing me.

And I deserve it.

And I got you one of these zip drives. So you can back up your work.

And I never fully understood why.

And I saw the world exactly as it was.

And I want you to look at my buceta.

And I wanted to volunteer at Trey's hospital,

And I'll see a woman having a lovely afternoon glazing a bowl.

And I'm in no mood for Bisquik.

And I'm still here. You know?

And I've burnt my legs. It really hurts.

And if you don't,

And if you love someone and it didn't work out,

And if you're still in London...

And in a different bathroom...

And in a far less friendly bed uptown,

And it's next Saturday. I'd love it if you would come.

And just like that, Samantha went from Mr No Soul

And keep sex partners as friends long after the screwing is over,

And leave only the fun trips and special holidays.

And led her to believe that Marathon Man could be more than a running buddy.

And less hard.

And let us say amen!

And making this our home, it should reflect our taste, shouldn't it?

And Miranda discovered the perfect relationship.

And moved on to another instrument.

And my overnight case.

And now a penis was running her life.

And now I couldn't wait.

And now she needed a substitute for chocolate.

And now they're just...

And now? Do you not want a baby any more?

And open herself up to the possibility of a relationship...

And picked up a '94 Cabernet and an '84 Harvard MBA.

And said, "Women love this!"

And several showers to take.

And she drop kicked me right in the heart.

And she needs to be paid.

And so Miranda laughed. Not because it was particularly funny,

And somehow, over time, I had made my way back into the nook.

And started to send her a desperate e mail.

And stay all night, every night.

And Steve... I'm sorry...

And the bartender man?

And the contestants get fewer and fewer,

And the page had a baby on it.

And the thing is

And the watch fob.

And then I got the bomb.

And then there's the kind that just shows up.

And there was no better time than the present.

And there's no one living there.

And to make sure the flowers worked out.

And unlike you, I never left.

And unpredictable and thrilling.

And wake up next to me every morning and be my wife.

And watch fobs. I'm going to bring back the watch fob.

And Waxy Hanahan's Chocolate Oncidium won first prize once again.

And we all went home.

And we have really perfect sex.

And we'll really make love like man and wife

And when that fails,

And you, Miranda? Seeing anyone special?

And you're really something.

And your dream house. All you have to do is find them.

Another little one?

Another set of ex's were enjoying the view.

Anybody home?

Anyone you have unresolved issues with

Anyone you have unresolved issues with

Anything else before we go in?

Anything else need milking?

Anyway, that's what I'm thinking.

Apparently, dating a movie star makes you as crazy as dating anyone else.

Are all these improvements helping us communicate?

Are men just women with balls?

Are we dating or back together?

Are we going to be schlepping these railroad ties over to the mud hole?

Are we in that big of a hurry?

Are you a janitor now?

Are you going to finish that pie?

Are you kidding me? This whole thing was your idea.

Are you kidding? It was like he had a bad burger with BB King in '75.

Are you ready to be lifted? Here we go.

Are you scared our old bed will bring back the same problems?

Are you seeing anyone special?

Are you thinking about sleeping with him?

Are you trying to kill me on the way to lunch?

Are your chances of finding your soul mate less and less?

Aren't you, boy? Come here! Who's your buddy?

As a lover, Warren was fantastic,

As Big's car drove away,

As Charlotte lathered up, she started to get lathered up.

As for Aidan, he and I weren't quite back to where we were.

As he was certainly unattainable.

As I was wishing I had said nothing, Samantha decided to say something.

As Ray talked, I realised he wasn't spontaneous

As you move from age box to age box

At least Big's a friendly ghost.

At least he's your boyfriend. Only a boyfriend would do that.

At my firm they think you'll cry over a legal brief.

At the apartment.

At the hospital in Philadelphia. My mom had a heart attack.

At the MacDougal's Connecticut compound,

At times I felt like it was going to rocket right off.

At your door in the middle of the night.

B Y?

BA in Art History, minor in Finance. Same as me.

Baby lamb chops! This is quite a spread.

Back in New York, the patient Steve was greeted by a patient Miranda.

Balls are to men

Be a good mother, cure AlDS...

Be damn sure before you get off the Ferris wheel,

Be right back.

Because I begged you to. Let me buy you ladies a free drink.

Because it's not a good time.

Because my ass will be damn fine there too.

Because the women waiting to get on are 22, perky and ruthless.

Because we're OK?

Because what I felt out there was no ghost. It was real.

Before you've had your morning coffee.

Better close these windows up. It's going to rain.

Better than fine: fantastic.

Between weekends at their fashionably rustic country homes.

Big and I had shut our door, but our window was blowing a great breeze

Big called while Aidan and l were making love.

Birthday girl, 35.

Body image depression, mood swings,

Bought me a Scotch and given me a key to an office.

Brian makes the most dangerous Mojitos in the city

Buceta, schmagina, let's call the whole thing off.

Bunny gave Charlotte a tour of her nursery.

Bunny, hi. What are you doing here?

Bunny! What are you doing?

Bunny's picking out schools for her grandchild and I'm not even pregnant

Burger King had a line around the block.

Business. What are you doing Saturday?

But Aidan never showed up.

But an open door dump was worth dumping someone over.

But apparently everybody's secretly backing up their work.

But as a communication strategist, he made one major mistake.

But because it was kind.

But Color Me Mine?

But everybody is concerned about me because I'm here alone.

But had to live without balls?

But he was suddenly a presence in my life again.

But I am his wife. If anyone does it, it should be me.

But I am not of my body.

But I can't do the relationship thing.

But I can't get her. Ever!

But I don't think that a soul mate would...on your leg.

But I feel you need to know your friend Miranda Hobbes

But I have many more in my loft. If you ever want to take a look...

But I hope that you can forgive me.

But I hope that you can forgive me.

But I know he does. His words said no, his kiss said yes.

But I know, every time I look down at my nuts...

But I might feel less of a man.

But I still like a song with a melody I can sing to.

But I usually have to be in love with someone to have such an orgasm.

But I want to leave it at that.

But I wasn't with her. Nobody was.

But I wouldn't rely on it to provide the entertainment.

But I'm going to be here forever.

But I'm more than enough in the bedroom.

But I'm not going to hire you.

But I've just never seen it like this.

But it was more about the fact that we got married so fast.

But it's different now. Things are different.

But nothing is more frightening than running into an ex

But now I was more haunted than ever.

But only until I can afford a little farm all my own.

But she couldn't wait. She could feel the tears building up inside her.

But she sounded so alone. I kept saying all the wrong things.

But she wears many wrong things on the red carpet.

But she's fragile, and she's my best friend.

But something tells me I'd be very good at it.

But that doesn't mean a marriage is working, does it?

But that is not acceptable bath time behaviour past the age of five.

But that night Trey and Charlotte made love and possibly a baby.

But the Green Hornet had the moves. I'm the Green Hornet.

But the next morning...

But their sex orcism ensured Bunny never haunted their home again

But then do I have to reciprocate?

But there's much more I could do with my life.

But today,

But until that day arrives, what to do?

But was having a good time in the Hamptons.

But we are in public.

But we never get any cute guys in this group.

But we were in a new place, a more honest place.

But we're moving closer.

But who's going to fuck a uni ball bartender?

But with the weekenders, an hour, maybe even two.

But yes: when I RSVP to a party, I make it my business to come.

But you brought the most incredible dessert.

But you don't and the guy at Video Village said this one rocks.

But you have a choice.

But you were picking the wrong size. This one fits you.

But you...

But you're great to my friends as well.

But you're saying you're not enough.

By nightfall, Samantha called off the search party.

By the time I got home, I had fallen into an emotional hole so deep

By the time we got back, she had died.

Cabs are bullshit.

Can I come up and talk to you for a few minutes?

Can I get your number?

Can I have my moo shu without a side of sperm?

Can I help you?

Can we lighten up on the boundary talk?

Can you ever really forgive, if you can't forget?

Can you hang on a second?

Can you please not do that?

Can you take Steve with you?

Can you tell me why this happened in the first place?

Canned corn. When did you last have that? It sounds good.

Carrie likes a jazz man. Jazz!

Carrie likes a jazz musician.

Carrie, hi.

Carrie, I'm in traffic. They're paving Fifth Avenue!

Carrie, it's Stanford. I'm at the wrong place.

Carrie, meet my George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine!

Carrie, tell them.

Carrie, that's really sweet. Only...

Carrie! You up there?

Casablanca lilies, Calla lilies and phalaenopsis,

Certain behaviour stops you getting into a co op

Charlotte and Trey enjoyed a sweet ending to their evening as well.

Charlotte didn't know if it was making love

Charlotte felt it was time to conquer some old territory:

Charlotte heard herself lie.

Charlotte left her past to pursue her new life objectives.

Charlotte never cared much about penises

Charlotte realised if Samantha defined her relationship as healthy,

Charlotte realised that she and Trey were two souls with too many thoughts.

Charlotte showed her support for Miranda by becoming the Martha Stewart of death.

Charlotte was relieved. Now they had fixed the bedroom problem,

Charlotte York MacDougal...

Charlotte, 35 with no kids, decided it was time to get serious.

Charlotte, get that judgmental puss off and join in.

Charlotte, haunted by Bunny spending the night, couldn't sleep either.

Charlotte, I love you.

Charlotte, I want you to move back in

Charlotte, I'm eating.

Charlotte, I'm masturbating.

Charlotte, telephone my house and tell Geneva to bring over some broth.

Charlotte, this isn't about me. This is your stuff.

Charlotte. I thought it was the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Cigarettes. Gone. Seriously, all bad habits gone.

Cliff told me you and Trey are back together. I'm so glad.

Clooney's like a Chanel suit. He'll always be in style.

Come here. You be the bass.

Come in.

Come inside, we'll talk.

Come inside. We can rack up a new score.

Come on, baby, open up. It's me, Sean.

Come on, let's get you drunk.

Come on!

Come on! It's like living in Paris and going to Provence for the weekend.

Come on. Let's go.

Come over for dinner this week. We just redecorated our dining room.

Come over.

Coming, Betsy.

Coming!

Congratulations. You've got a nice, healthy relationship.

Congregants, please refer to position 91 in your prayer books.

Connect with me.

Connection.

Cooking to the oldies.

Cool.

Correction: nut. I look all lopsided.

Could be bad RAM. We'll keep it here, run some tests.

Could we be friends?

Could we just sit and talk for a while?

Could we not have the strap on conversation now?

Could we still do it in a taxi?

Could you tell Steve to call his insurance company?

Darling, I'm juicy now.

Darling, what's the matter?

Day or night, whenever,

Dealing with a woman working next to a man?

Death is the eternal mystery.

Did he just say...?

Did I hear the phone ring?

Did I mention these are my male friends?

Did the strap on break the relationship's back? Or just yours?

Did you and the girls run down the street talking about me?

Did you get my e mail about our double whatever?

Did you have a big plate of crazy for lunch?

Did you just say, "eat pussy"?

Did you know that when a vagina gets engorged,

Did you know there's a Mexican restaurant called El Cantinoro?

Did you make a note that mentions how beautiful you look tonight?

Did you miss him before you saw him?

Did you see that spy girl movie? She was good.

Did you two used to date or something?

Didn't involve books or balls.

Didn't think I had that groovy jazz club in me, did you?

Directions can be found as you exit the sanctuary.

Do not take your anger out on Pete.

Do we need to talk about this?

Do we?

Do we...

Do you ever think about me?

Do you ever think that you might still have feelings for Steve?

Do you know when the funeral is? I'd like to go.

Do you miss the dick? Is that what this is all about?

Do you think that this is funny?

Do you want another drink?

Do you want fireworks?

Do you want toasted?

Do you? For Aidan?

Do you...?

Does anybody want to split the chocolate pudding?

Does he think I'll get my period and ruin his empire?

Does that mean they weren't your soul mate?

Dog walking's not your favourite thing to do, Carrie

Don't be cross with Trey for telling me.

Don't bother.

Don't fret. We'll find a mattress to fit the frame.

Don't I have to be in the Musicians Union?

Don't knock it until you try it.

Don't knock it until you try it.

Don't laugh at me, but maybe we could be each other's soul mates.

Don't move, OK?

Don't play anything. Don't scat, don't chop, don't blend.

Don't pout! We were having such a nice time.

Don't say that. I know it's true, but don't say it.

Don't stop. Don't stop.

Don't stop. Don't stop.

Don't talk about moving in in front of the penis, it might go soft!

Don't talk to her.

Don't talk to me like that!

Don't talk to me like you do the kids.

Don't wait for me, happy birthday!

Don't worry, Trey MacDougal.

Don't you dare hang up! I'm interviewing for my replacement.

Don't you dare! And stop saying "Charlotte" like that.

Doo doo den back at ya.

Downtown, Miranda seemingly had her communication problem licked.

Dress comes off... Red panties.

Drink your juice.

Enjoy!

Especially as Bunny had moved back into her own apartment.

Especially when she could make one for under $5.

Even if a couple can manage the forgiveness,

Eventually.

Ever milk a cow before?

Every aspiring "gallerina" in New York wanted Charlotte's job.

Every movement has a meaning!

Every once in a while, a girl has to indulge herself.

Every time I look down there, I feel...

Every time the phone rings he'll think it's Big starting affair two.

Everyone expected Batman to win because of his gadgets.

Everyone has a sore spot that needs a comedy routine.

Everyone in the universe wanted me to define my relationship with Big.

Everyone that crosses my door has to help.

Everyone was there.

Everyone.

Everything can sound like a jazz riff.

Evidently, when Charlotte closed the taxi door, she opened a new window.

Exactly what you're doing.

Exactly what you're doing.

Except after her tennis lesson and before cocktails,

Except he kind of...Iicked my butt.

Excuse me, Betsy? I'm Charlotte. We spoke on the phone.

Excuse me, but is that a hickey?

Excuse me? Lucille?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Fajitas!

Finally Samantha found the release she needed.

Fine, I'll call her. Goodbye.

Fine, the cheese stands alone.

First, I yelled at my friend, the cancer patient. Then I made him cry.

First, you have to accept that he might not want to hear it.

Five hotels. It's a big job.

Five pleat, gusseted duster with a foot drop. I have one just like it.

Five! I bet you're thinking, "Where are the kids?" I said to Joe,

For a privileged few,

For an exhibition by Brazilian artist Maria Diega Reyes.

For crying out loud! Shit!

For most New Yorkers, Manhattan is the centre of the civilised world.

For my big mistake.

For the first time in her life,

For whom Barneys would always be stores, not dinosaurs.

Forget it.

Four hours later, I kissed Aidan goodbye

Freckles on the legs. Nothing wrong with that!

Fresh juice?

Friends who listen to jazz, friends who eat pizza,

Friends who...

Friends...or something. Shouldn't you define what you're doing with him?

From now on, there can only be one lady of the house.

From the age of 14, Miranda had a no visitors policy in dressing rooms.

From then on, it was, "Careful! Don't make Charlotte cry!"

Fuck! Jesus!

Fuck.

Fucked!

Fucking Maria with a strap on. She did me, I did her.

Fwom my Mister Mister?

George Clooney.

Get away from the door, motherfucker, before I call the cops!

Get in.

Get out of the tub, get into this bed, make love to me right now.

Get the hell off there! No, the other way!

Get them off me! You're distracting me.

Give me a good morning kiss.

Give me that spring roll.

Glad you came.

Go ahead, everyone.

Go! Go, go, go!

God forbid I should walk it alone. That would be the real tragedy.

God, he's online! Can he see me?

God, no. Why?

God!

Good eggs.

Good for you.

Good for you. It took me six months to give my cleaning lady a key.

Good for you. Just don't be disappointed

Good for you. That's...

Good luck with foursies.

Good luck.

Good night.

Good night.

Good thing we weren't hungry.

Good to see you, Carrie.

Good to see you, too.

Good, honey. Sometimes they need to hear it from a man.

Good!

Good. Great. Excellent.

Good. Great. Excellent.

Good. Let me stick this stuff in the back

Good. You know, boring. What's new with you?

Got any jelly?

Great.

Guess I'd better head back.

Guys don't talk, they fight.

Guys, Trey and I are trying to have a baby.

Hang on. Hang in there. Stay with me.

Hanging glands don't make somebody a man.

Happy birthday, baby.

Has any ever really conquered the forgetness?

Has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it.

Have you guys ever done it in a restaurant bathroom?

He buys two in one shampoo

He could keep going after that? He's a keeper.

He did.

He didn't have a tongue.

He didn't say that?

He doesn't know what I've got and that isn't good!

He doesn't say much. Keeps to himself.

He doesn't want me here.

He hasn't asked me to move back.

He helped my girlfriend. Took her to the chiropractor.

He just whipped it out. I'm brushing, I look over and he's peeing.

He knows I'm anxious to have a wee MacDougal to carry on the family name.

He knows when to say goodbye.

He lived his life based on the vows of poverty and chastity.

He looks good, but that's not why I want him back. I miss him.

He mentioned that maybe I might quit.

He must be sick or something.

He named the bar Scout, Carrie, after his dog. I'm not going to that.

He needed a kick in the ass.

He needs to update that file.

He put that hot water heater in by himself

He said everything looked pretty good down there.

He said he thought "come over" meant today, not last night.

He saw me naked. Your boyfriend saw me naked on the floor on a bath mat!

He says, "l don't know. That's why I'm sending them to the lab."

He spent money on air conditioning and I spent enough time in Suffern

He stripped her floors! Just get rid of the turquoise and the tummy.

He talks about you.

He tears the food I'm carrying out of my arms,

He thinks I love it. I don't know why I'm here.

He told her he admired her balls.

He wants to talk to you about some stuff, too.

He was a guy with ADD.

He went to get a burrito. Shayna and l are looking out for the joint.

He wouldn't invite you if it wasn't OK.

He'd better be upset when he gets here. There'd better be tears.

He'll say that he doesn't want to see me,

He's a hack. Get me a meeting?

He's cute, straight, and we've known him for ten years. Haven't we all?

He's devastated, has no one to talk to. Before I knew it,

He's going to come up here, we'll have a quick talk,

He's got him, he's got him!

He's got his own bar, his own life, his own Jessica.

He's got some balls coming up here.

He's got the runs!

He's having an affair with a waitress at Scout.

He's having girlfriend problems. I'll be just a minute.

He's in my life.

He's just a friend in pain.

He's like a rubber band.

He's my husband. We were defined by law. Now it's all so hard.

He's nice. I got him through my HMO.

He's nobody. Just a guy I used to fuck.

He's nobody. Just a guy I used to fuck.

He's not here.

He's not like that.

He's out there. You just haven't met him yet.

He's talking to Brad Rosen.

He's the good guy and I'm the bad guy.

Hell of a lot of mortgages.

Hello, Mother.

Hello, my darling girls. Sorry I'm late.

Hello?

Hello.

Help yourself.

Her mother never observed it. Neither did Lucille.

Her son John and his wife Miranda, her daughter Catherine...

Here it is.

Here we are.

Here you go, ladies. Enjoy.

Here's the book I was talking about. "A Positive Outlook To Healing".

Here's what we could recover from your hard drive. Look familiar?

Here's your receipt. You can do what you want with that computer.

Hey, kid. What's shaking? I'm back in town. Call me, baby.

Hey, partner.

Hi, again.

Hi, come on up.

Hi, I'm Carrie.

Hi, I'm Carrie. Carrie Bradshaw. Jazz neophyte.

Hi, it's me. Leave a message.

Hi! You scared me.

His actions said he still loved me or maybe he just missed me.

Honey, I've never gotten any complaints from the men.

Hoping he'd make friends.

Hours later, we discovered one satisfying way

House. You hate the house.

Houston, we don't have a problem.

How about a late run? I'll call you.

How about I take my tall drink of water out to dinner tonight?

How about that?

How can they think baby talk's sexy?

How can we hurt you?

How did they get the message that the ass is now on the menu?

How did this happen? Why are they even friends?

How do I do this?

How do I do this?

How do I get into there?

How do I get there?

How do you feel about soul mates?

How do you say that? You kick ass!

How does a strap on work? Is it belted?

How does my personal life affect your business?

How does that work? You wake up one morning, and you're a lesbian?

How far?

How is Joe? You've been married for how many years now?

How is that relevant?

How is the house?

How many people will be affected?

How much of ourselves should we be willing to sacrifice for the other person?

How much you remind me of myself at your age.

How should I know? When I'm done with them, I'm done with them.

How would they like it if we told them to shape their hedge?

How's that working out?

Hug, share cabs. Then I won't have any time alone with him.

I accept that. How do I do this?

I admit I'm intrigued. If I wasn't,

I am a person! This should be a relationship!

I am aware of that!

I am behind my choice! I choose my choice!

I am done walking on eggshells!

I am not sleeping with him. We're just...hanging out.

I am officially old.

I am out of things to say to you. All we do is talk, talk, talk.

I am quitting my job to make my life better

I am sorry, but a finger is not a dick.

I am tired of being married to your penis!

I appreciate your offer but I don't need a partner.

I arrived at my party after a day of shopping.

I asked you a question. Where did you go to school?

I assure you, it's perfectly safe

I believe that God made the body and it's perfect in its splendour.

I brought some muf...

I brought you a gift.

I burned my legs!

I came back.

I came home to find Aidan in the most shocking position of all:

I came to buy art, not make it.

I can adjust my bra straps by myself.

I can do that.

I can guarantee Donald Trump and Marlo Thomas.

I can masturbate to whomever I like.

I can tell you right now. This...

I can't believe I questioned this wallpaper.

I can't believe I'm 34 with three kids!

I can't believe it. Poor Miranda. How is she?

I can't believe you actually got out of the car and got balloons.

I can't discuss my notes if you have a boner!

I can't do that.

I can't even remember cream cheese.

I can't get e mail just for Aidan. That's pathetic.

I can't go on any more bad dates!

I can't go. Steve has cancer.

I can't just be your friend.

I can't seem to rise to the occasion.

I can't sing but I can chop.

I can't stay in your life.

I can't talk in front of him.

I cannot believe you made these. I love you not working.

I cannot believe you're dating someone...

I cannot go to any more parties until I know what we're going to do!

I cannot just turn it on and off.

I checked the haunted house clause of the best friend contract.

I could barely fit one in my mouth.

I could do some dirty things to you now.

I couldn't avoid it. Everywhere I went, I was confronted by my Big relationship.

I couldn't get any sleep.

I couldn't pick a shirt. Come in.

I cried once at the gallery. Once in ten years.

I decided to take action and this time he answered.

I did my laundry. Continue.

I did, but just for emphasis.

I did. It's mine. It's mine, but he did something.

I didn't know we had plans Saturday. I'm going out with the girls.

I didn't know what to say.

I didn't leave a card. He won't know what the plant means.

I didn't mean to come up and ruin your weekend.

I didn't mean to. I just got trapped.

I didn't realise I needed a date for my mother's funeral.

I didn't think I'd be going to a funeral.

I didn't think so.

I didn't.

I didn't. Raoul did. Good man.

I disagree. I believe there's one perfect person out there to complete you.

I don't belong here. I don't know where anything goes.

I don't care if he's the Green Bee.

I don't care who wins.

I don't care. I believe in soul mates.

I don't even know how to use that and I don't need it.

I don't even know if I believe in soul mates.

I don't even know why I'm telling you. Don't tell anybody else.

I don't hate the house. I hate the squirrel!

I don't have a manual. I got rid of it in a feng shui attack.

I don't have time for this. I have to go to work.

I don't have to come at all.

I don't have to work tomorrow.

I don't know how you do it. All that emotional chow chow.

I don't know how you were brought up,

I don't know that anything happened.

I don't know what it means.

I don't know what you mean. I had something in my eye.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. Are you operating machinery this evening?

I don't know. I don't think so.

I don't know. I meant the two of us.

I don't know. I'm not even listening.

I don't know. It hurts to even hold the phone.

I don't know. They haven't had sex yet.

I don't need that, so I go on the offensive and make them laugh.

I don't remember ever seeing my mother

I don't think so. Get out!

I don't think tonight's going to be good for us.

I don't want it, you have it.

I don't want one who does that. It's never OK to do that.

I don't want talk!

I don't want to confuse you, so I made notes.

I don't want to do that!

I don't want to go in. Let's go have a drink.

I don't want to interrupt the night with the guys

I don't want to lose you again.

I don't want to scare it.

I don't want to sit next to the lady!

I don't want to!

I don't want you to see him ever again.

I enjoy a quickie too, but when it's good, I go with it.

I fake cried when I missed a deadline.

I feel fairly certain that there is still something between us.

I finally found an outlet for my computer, but not my frustration.

I flew out to LA to take her to that MTV award thing.

I forgot to tell you. I'm a fire hydrant!

I found I loved it here so much that it felt like my gallery.

I get bored, I move on. Listen to the bass.

I get it. I'm sorry.

I get it. It's all you.

I get off at 4:00.

I get so much junk mail. If I don't know an address...

I got a big tense meeting with my editor in an hour.

I got hard just walking up your stairs.

I got it on the corner, $1.50. I love this city!

I got the good bagels.

I got the number off your machine. Where's area code 845?

I got to strip these pieces. The chemicals are toxic.

I got worried and took him home.

I guess it just takes practice.

I guess that means you didn't get the invitation yet.

I guess we could give it a try.

I guess we're done with this room. Time to move on to the study.

I had a nice time tonight with you. I did.

I had a potpie in Vegas once, loaded with corn.

I had confronted my ghost, accepted and released him.

I had to drive to New Jersey to get cell service.

I had to hurry. I didn't know how bad it was till I got here.

I had to leave the house before I dehydrated.

I had to sit on his face to shut him up.

I had to wonder. What comes first: the chicken or the sex?

I had to. I haven't worked that hard since my SATs.

I happen to have the key to a lasting relationship right here.

I hate myself for saying this, but...

I hate that he calls here.

I hate that squirrel! I hate this oven!

I hate...this!

I have a bone to pick with you. I came ready to buy. There's nothing left.

I have a confession to make.

I have a doctor. It's no big deal.

I have been driving myself crazy. And for what? The gallery?

I have had to polish myself off once or twice,

I have never heard a woman say, "He had such a big, full scrotum."

I have never met a man who wasn't into his balls.

I have that meeting to get ready for.

I have the opposite problem.

I have to admit you're the best person for the job,

I have to do it in the right position. Wait. I have to get my legs up.

I have to see you. I'll get my Jag out.

I haven't called her because I don't want to bother her.

I hope that you and your penis have a very lovely night!

I hoped mind blowing sex would become a relationship.

I invited him up.

I invited the Watsons and their kids for dinner Tuesday.

I just aged 35 more years.

I just brought... I brought muffins for breakfast.

I just came prepared. Look.

I just felt so awful for her and l...

I just left Silent Y in the bathroom. Apparently the '80s are back.

I just needed a person here. The cat's an unreliable witness.

I just never thought that I could.

I just scatted on my first date. Give me some credit.

I just want to talk.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.

I just wish there was a way for Aidan to understand

I just wish we hadn't gone home.

I knew Cliff and Tricia when they got married. They were so in love.

I knew I knew you. How the hell are you?

I know all there is to know about the glorious buceta.

I know he still feels it.

I know it.

I know it's a big job. That's why I'm still here and not in the lobby.

I know that you're probably scared. I would be too.

I know what you do. Don't call him. Don't e mail

I know you can't forget what happened,

I know you don't like him calling.

I know you're busy at the gallery.

I know you're probably busy having mind blowing sex now,

I know, it's ridiculous. I need seven to get in Aidan's building.

I know. I was thinking we could stay here and concentrate on this.

I left Miranda's early and got some sleep

I let Miranda and Samantha talk me into going to the opening of Scout.

I lie in bed at night and I think about us, about you holding me...

I lied.

I like the word "mate". Other than that, you got me.

I like to think people have more than one soul mate.

I lost my orgasm.

I love Aidan.

I love being with Aidan. There's no one in the world I would rather...

I love how you say Jessica like allegedly that's her name.

I love this wallpaper! And I love you

I love you, but this is not my scene.

I love you.

I made a mistake and I am sorry.

I made an appointment with the doctor. Will you go with me?

I made him cry.

I masturbated to a bus boy who was rude to me once. What does that mean?

I masturbated to my priest.

I may have been back in the city, but now I was really Suffern.

I mean it. You're the best.

I mean, art. I'm sorry.

I met someone.

I might as well stay until Trey's recovered.

I might not be much in the kitchen,

I miss him. I have missed him for months.

I miss you. I can't wait until I'm in New York in your arms.

I need a drink.

I need to think about that.

I needed to appreciate him for what he was:

I never had a guy do the TL on me.

I noticed all the good work you do in the neighbourhood

I once went out with a guy

I only have one ball left.

I ordered it a week ago. They needed time to engrave it. I totally forgot.

I picked the one he has now, didn't you know? It's Chippendale.

I put in a hot water heater.

I read an article about a woman who had orgasms all the time.

I realise that this next statement makes me a bit of a freak,

I realised having three soul mates already nailed down

I realised I'd gone from pretending I didn't hate the country

I realised I'm fresh out of milk.

I really liked this guy.

I really want it to be special the first time.

I refuse to have sex until conditions improve.

I remember Danny having more than one thought.

I remembered I had some Vicks.

I said I was having a bad time at home,

I said tasteful!

I say to him, "Sir, what are they?"

I see where this is going.

I see you told them.

I sensed he couldn't commit. We're over here.

I should open one in New York.

I shouldn't tell you this with a line of people out there,

I snuck out the side door for some cake and a smoke.

I spent a couple of summers there. Used to go skeet shooting with my buddies.

I spent the day with my shoe sole mate, Manolo Blahnik.

I spent the last two hours fucking with no finale.

I still had no response from Aidan.

I still love you. I just...

I still wasn't sure. Maybe I was overreacting.

I talked it over with my penis, and we both agree.

I talked to some guys in my office who've been through this...

I think about you other places than the market.

I think I finally kicked that bad habit.

I think I'm done.

I think I'm in love.

I think I'm OK.

I think that I know what's best for me.

I think you're still in England, but l...

I think...

I thought about it.

I thought about what Samantha said.

I thought I'd have more free time, but decorating is stressful.

I thought it would be fun to go out on dry land for a change.

I thought Miranda might feel more comfortable with you here.

I thought those 57 menus daily from Hunan Munan were annoying.

I thought Trey was mine,

I thought you hated these movies.

I thought you were the silent partner.

I thought, "This is something

I told her I'm not a relationship person!

I told him I'd seen better.

I told him to make a right at the sign for farm fresh squash.

I told him when I hire a contractor, I expect him to finish on time.

I told my doctor how frustrated we were that we weren't pregnant yet.

I told you I'd be doing that all day today.

I tried, but nature and me: it's unnatural.

I understand, but I am your wife.

I understand. It's juvenile, I know,

I used a pseudonym.

I usually get a little warning before that happens.

I want a bourbon and I want to go down on you.

I want my nipples back.

I want passion, I want fireworks!

I want some water. You want some water?

I want the clear Cellophane and the navy ribbon.

I want to show you. I'm going to lay down,

I want to sit next to you.

I want you to look at me,

I wanted a Grey Goose on the rocks a fucking hour ago. Chop chop!

I wanted to make a gesture,

I wanted to say again how sorry I am

I was about to call you. I was lM ing with Marathon Man.

I was afraid you were going to say something like that.

I was at the market.

I was even farther from the nook.

I was hoping to prove I was neither

I was hoping we could start fresh. Now we'll have to talk about it.

I was just asking if you got my e mail.

I was just really counting on that fake ball.

I was just telling Trey

I was just typing. He came over and kissed me

I was making sure it was on good and tight.

I was on my second date with Ray King, who lived in Queens.

I was raised by a woman named Eva Neil. She was my nanny.

I was secretly praying he had missed the sign for farm fresh squash.

I was such a chump! I really put myself out there

I was swallowing.

I was talking to Aidan.

I was tearing through "lnStyle" with Big's big movie star on the cover.

I was thinking about you yesterday. You and the work that you do.

I was totally out of the party mood

I was trying to make you comfortable.

I was very closey wosey.

I was willing to forego the privilege.

I was willing to try the friendship thing,

I wasn't going to, but then he kissed me. What does that mean?

I wasn't thinking. Was he upset?

I went in there because I know how uncomfortable it makes you.

I will and soon, before those get sold as well.

I will never send a boyfriend to do my job again.

I will sit her down and say that this is simply not our/your taste.

I wish I could, but I have a meeting

I wish I knew the name of that cab driver. I'd send him a bottle of wine.

I wish that I could be your girlfriend again.

I won't become a mother who only talks about Diaper Genies.

I wondered just how much shit I was willing to put up with for my mistake.

I worried that there's a reason it's called mind blowing sex.

I would invite you out here but it's just so far away.

I would never send my boyfriend to help you.

I would take it with me, otherwise known as...

I wouldn't do this, but he's hurting. Haven't you had a girl break your...?

I wouldn't know if you had one or four.

I, on the other hand, was full of words.

I'd be a...

I'd better feel sorry for you soon.

I'd better get to work.

I'd better go.

I'd have to end it.

I'd just keep on walking.

I'd like a cheeseburger, large fries and a Cosmopolitan.

I'd like to take you out on Saturday night.

I'd love to, but try finding a sitter for three kids.

I'd rather be home alone than out with a guy who sells socks on the lnternet.

I'll be back.

I'll be fine.

I'll be right there!

I'll be there. I'll bring something from your apartment.

I'll check on Miranda for you.

I'll get up.

I'll have to brave the wilderness on my own.

I'll just get my purse.

I'll meet you at the bar.

I'll put the dinner together. You just show up.

I'll see you later.

I'll show you fireworks!

I'll start. I can sum up my life in one breath.

I'm 35!

I'm a girl about town. I'm the kind of girl

I'm a shoe. I always wanted to be one and now I am.

I'm a TV agent and I fucking love it.

I'm a writer with no pen.

I'm afraid our problem has reared its ugly head.

I'm afraid so. And it was weird.

I'm afraid the way I treated him will haunt me the rest of my life.

I'm afraid to. I don't think I can handle another problem in that area.

I'm almost there.

I'm an old fashioned gal. I prefer calling and hanging up.

I'm dating someone.

I'm definitely in the slow group if even Charlotte is open to it.

I'm different. Wait a second.

I'm Dmitri. I'll call you if we find anything.

I'm dripping all over, and you're calling my judgmental.

I'm fantastic! Joe and l just got back from New Orleans.

I'm finally doing it. I'm opening up my own bar.

I'm fine now

I'm fine.

I'm fine. Flowers are fine. Just tell me who to send the cheque to.

I'm glad we can talk about this. If you ever meet someone...

I'm going back in guns blazing, cool, calm, collected.

I'm going home to my apartment, where I have a lease.

I'm going home. I don't even know why I came.

I'm going to burn your bagel.

I'm going to go in here and you, you go back there.

I'm going to go out and buy a shitty black dress I'll never wear again.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to impress him so much, he'll beg me to take the job.

I'm going to... My date's waiting for me.

I'm going upstairs.

I'm going with Samantha and her lesbian lover, and I am proud.

I'm hanging up.

I'm here. They said you left.

I'm hoping there is a ghost, otherwise I'm insane.

I'm in public relations. I could put a benefit together,

I'm in the Franciscan Order, founded by St Francis. The robe is...

I'm just freaked out.

I'm just going to say it.

I'm just hungry.

I'm just on my way to Philly.

I'm just saying size has nothing to do with it.

I'm leaving. I've got an early day tomorrow.

I'm looking for that someone special.

I'm making margaritas.

I'm Maria. Samantha's girlfriend.

I'm married and we're planning on a baby.

I'm meeting some buddies at Steve's bar.

I'm not a dog expert, but is that normal?

I'm not a relationship person.

I'm not being fresh. I think I know what's best

I'm not being helpful any more. Maybe I should get back to the city.

I'm not certain, but I think my boobs were just insulted. Cover me.

I'm not getting out.

I'm not going to find my orgasm in this town.

I'm not having any more sex.

I'm not part of this. You don't want the laptop.

I'm not quite sure what to say.

I'm not ready for a new computer. I'm waiting to hear about my old one.

I'm not sure I want to do anything I'm kind of into laying low.

I'm not that girl. I'm not any girl.

I'm not. It's just easier to test the man first, less invasive.

I'm not...

I'm number P438W. You have my computer.

I'm only in town for...

I'm out. Syrup!

I'm outta here.

I'm picking up bagels for the train. You're sesame, right?

I'm preheating the oven.

I'm proving to my boyfriend I am trustworthy, loving and kindly.

I'm quitting. That's what I want to do. I'm quitting.

I'm really not an expert. Large, then.

I'm redecorating the apartment and I want to learn lndian cooking.

I'm serious! Do any of you have an unremarkable friend

I'm so proud of you, chica.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry about last night. I guess I got drunk.

I'm sorry, baby.

I'm sorry, but I've been taking care of myself a long time.

I'm sorry, but this just isn't going to work.

I'm sorry, Charlotte. May I get you a hankie?

I'm sorry, I felt bad.

I'm sorry, I just...

I'm sorry, this is just way too...

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Can I help?

I'm sorry. I dropped the ball.

I'm sorry. It's not you.

I'm sorry. That guy's not good for her.

I'm sorry. That's Shayna.

I'm sorry. You still want me to give them a little pull?

I'm staying next door and I'm baking a pie from scratch.

I'm still asleep. How can you have had an emotional drama already?

I'm stuck in traffic, I can't spell ll Cantinori for the idiot at 411, get a cell phone.

I'm sure it will be special.

I'm sure it will pop up when you least expect it,

I'm sure that it will be special.

I'm sure that she knew on some level that you were with her.

I'm sure that you have very strong, Scottish sperm.

I'm sure your sperm is fine. It's better than fine, it's fantastic.

I'm taking a break.

I'm taking a shower.

I'm talking to Brad Rosen. You two could share the work.

I'm telling you. Just forget it ever happened.

I'm the oldest woman I know who doesn't have a baby!

I'm thinking I've never seen my John Thomas so hard.

I'm trapped at work, I'll be ten minutes late. See you soon.

I'm trying to be happy for him.

I'm trying to get closer.

I'm what you call a bona fide city girl.

I'm worried that it's too late for me to cancel my meeting.

I've been a 36A my whole life. I know what size I am.

I've been a no show on more than one occasion.

I've been driving myself crazy trying to get everything done

I've been in his house far longer than you, my dear.

I've been making faux calls to Aidan.

I've been trying to meet him for months. Who's doing his PR?

I've been up for hours trying to figure out if we should stay together.

I've done the girl thing once, twice,

I've enjoyed meeting you. But truth be told,

I've got my operation and insurance to pay for it.

I've got to go.

I've got to go.

I've got to run or I'll miss my ride with Aidan.

I've had one e mail from Miranda and a welcome from AOL.

I've mentally kicked your butt all over Manhattan.

I've never cried at work.

I've repotted this one for you.

If a guy gets angry, he's a pistol. A woman, she's emotional.

If all you wind up with is a ceramic mug with Trey's name on it.

If giving a man your keys

If he was interested in anything more than a running buddy.

If I choose to quit my job, that is my choice.

If I say, "That's not high enough", they say, "Don't make Charlotte cry."

If I still even have a boyfriend.

If I tell you, you can't tell anyone.

If I was walking by and saw you in there,

If it's any consolation,

If it's OK with you, I'm going to camp here for a while.

If the cat heard it...

If things work out between us, we never had that conversation.

If two people have only one thought, something is very wrong. Cab.

If we were to, say,

If we're going to bake us a pie, we're going to need us some milk.

If you are single, there is one thing you should take with you on a Saturday night:

If you change your mind about the benefit...

If you don't feel ready...

If you don't find him, you're incomplete? It's so dangerous!

If you don't leave now, we'll have to end the night together.

If you have a problem quitting your job, take it up with your husband.

If you mean being taken against my will and kidnapped, then yes.

If you start helping me and then I get used to having that help...

If you think I'm bringing a child into that, that I'm that kind of mother,

If you were in Aruba, the natives could bead your back.

If you were perfectly healthy

If you're just friends, what exactly do you think you're doing?

If you're nice, we'll play another set or two.

If?

Ignore the coffin. There's a single, 35 year old woman walking behind it!

Iike chocolate and peanut butter.

Iike...

Impressive.

In a different urologist's office at the exact same time...

In a relationship, when does the art of compromise become compromising?

In daylight, it felt like all my ghosts had disappeared

In fact, a little more sex than she'd expected.

In matters of love, do actions really speak louder than words?

In my language, "friends" translates to "a person with a warm heart...

In the end, Aidan and I compromised.

In the mahogany bar, the wood floors, the carved ceiling.

In the middle of the movie, I gave him a blow job.

In the park you needed a shoulder to cry on and I was a bitch to you!

In the same apartment, doing the same job, living the same life.

In the theatre.

In times of sorrow, some people have trouble reaching out.

In view of current circumstances, I wondered:

Interesting. Will your tuchus be wanting lingus?

Is a mess and several fires. Feel like peeling some apples?

Is everything OK? The nurse said you wanted to see me.

Is he my boyfriend or my lover?

Is it a night with the guys or can girlfriends crash?

Is it bad to have a Martini with a muscle relaxant or good bad?

Is it not doing well in school?

Is she OK? How could you go without telling me?

Is she your imaginary girlfriend?

Is that all you could carry, Carrie?

Is that better?

Is that OK?

Is there a Nipple Council?

Is there any more wine in there?

Is there anything I can do to make you forgive me?

Is there anything I can do? I'll come and keep you company.

Is this theoretical or are you getting busy?

Isn't it a little early?

It all comes down to just one little ball.

It can go from here...

It can't be worse than a priest and a bus boy.

It comes in four sizes: extra small, small, medium and large.

It could be a good room for a...

It could be your motherboard,

It couldn't be any hotter in here. Or could it?

It defies our comprehension.

It depends.

It doesn't make sense. We've only been on two dates.

It doesn't matter. Do you know what I was thinking?

It doesn't. Maria and I broke up.

It expands to the size of a fist? It's like a fabulous cave!

It felt like our fourth as we'd been to three jazz clubs in one night.

It had never been better.

It happened 100 years ago. I barely know the guy.

It is a big fucking deal!

It is not a party. It's a parade of our failed relationships.

It is stunning. All of it.

It isn't a relationship. She's doing it to bug us.

It might go easier. Tomorrow, when she comes over,

It might have started as one, but I'm in control now.

It really hit me: I am 35 and alone.

It seemed nothing had happened to break us apart.

It took me six months to realise I wanted to be with Aidan

It turned out Trey's Scottish sperm was fine.

It turns out a half nelson was very much like position 411.

It turns out Samantha was wrong. Men do talk.

It was a lovely, uneventful Saturday morning.

It was a morning of firsts.

It was a phrase Samantha had never heard in bed before.

It was like she had used them all up.

It was my best relationship ever.

It was nice, really. Really nice for the guy. But...

It was nice.

It was only a suggestion.

It was probably a fluke. I'm going back tomorrow to find out.

It was scarier.

It was the first time Doug had spent the night...

It was the ultimate power lunch, also known as the power catch up.

It was then I started to appreciate a little type of music

It's 8:45. The reservation was for 8:30?

It's a deal.

It's a guy thing. In order to deal with Big,

It's a mulberry bush. Because the bar's on...

It's a Portuguese word for pussy.

It's a requirement to date me, "Special? Sorry, move along,

It's a side of Trey I've never seen. It's about the sperm.

It's a slippery slope. You have to have boundaries.

It's about two people, making love.

It's all over the place.

It's all that crazy testosterone. God bless it.

It's almost a threat.

It's amazing. A man with innovative vision can be so short sighted.

It's an 8.15 am response.

It's bad enough you send your boyfriend, but now the bullshit bagels!

It's beautiful! A big romantic gesture to express how they feel.

It's been two days. I was worried.

It's better if we just talk.

It's better if we just talk.

It's Carrie.

It's completely premature. I was just so excited.

It's fun. Now the pressure is off, we're enjoying each other. It's good.

It's getting too wild down there. Might be time for a wax.

It's going to be at ll Cantinori at 8.30.

It's good Aidan invited you. He wants to be friends.

It's great how up for things you've been lately,

It's hotter here than outside. Can't we turn on the air conditioning?

It's imagination. It's fun and perfectly healthy.

It's important that they represent us.

It's infuriating! Why wasn't he so ambitious with me?

It's just me! It's just me, Charlotte!

It's just sex and it's fine.

It's like a little purse.

It's like I plant bombed him.

It's like living in the museum of natural ugliness!

It's like putting ketchup on prime ribs. "Stop! You're ruining it!"

It's me and you after this.

It's me.

It's me. Go ahead.

It's me. I need to talk to you.

It's me. Sorry to call you this late. Is Carrie there?

It's me. The girl who doesn't back up.

It's midnight here in New York and it's my birthday.

It's more like a third of a dick.

It's my cake!

It's my ex.

It's my life and my choice!

It's my week between waxes and this asshole thinks I'm George of the Jungle!

It's no big deal. The doctor said it's very trendy now.

It's not a good time. We're about to go to bed.

It's not a porno flick.

It's not about being gay or straight. Maria is an incredible woman.

It's not done yet. Don't read it.

It's not done yet. Don't read it.

It's not guys. Lately it's just one man.

It's not just because you look so good, but you do.

It's not just some animal act.

It's not just there. Every time I blow you, I feel like I'm flossing.

It's not just there. Every time I blow you, I feel like I'm flossing.

It's not that cold. They're tweaking or wearing these.

It's not what he said, it's how he said it. In baby talk.

It's not you. I'm just a little pissed off because of work.

It's OK if you want to go

It's OK to tell me. We should talk about this.

It's on my answering machine. I have to talk about it.

It's only 40 minutes away.

It's only been three months!

It's right off our bedroom, so...

It's serving us drinks, it's on the answer machine,

It's sublime.

It's such a shame. This guy is hot!

It's Suffern.

It's tedious, the sex is dwindling, so from what I've heard, yes.

It's the only way they'll let me play. Ray King.

It's time for our toast.

It's too bad. Other than that, you had the job.

It's too late for a hankie. This isn't working.

It's understandable, you just lost your mom. You have pent up anger.

It's weird, right? Are we doing this now?

Iusting after a bass player.

Jesus, that's sweet. Listen to that again.

John and his wife Miranda invite you back to their home.

Jump up here.

Just a little bag, but we'd feel naked in public without it.

Just as a...fun group thing.

Just because she was on strike didn't mean she had to do without.

Just close friends. Very fabulous light.

Just designed a Richard Wright hotel.

Just don't cry. Once in ten years!

Just hang on one more second. One more second!

Just how to use the different features and, you know, "welcome".

Just keep doing exactly what you're doing,

Just lean into it! No words necessary. He'll get the signal.

Just like that, Charlotte slammed the door on her and Trey.

Just like that, Kato stopped the fight.

Just like that, Miranda gave up the ghost.

Just one more minute.

Just relax, darling. Breathe and reboot.

Just show up at his furniture store wearing these.

Just when she thought she knew everything about women...

Keep doing that! Keep doing that!

Keep doing that.

Keeping my relationship with Big in the closet only makes things worse.

Kept her high heels on. I lifted her up, put her on the bed...

Kids don't even want to sit by me.

Knee surgery.

Last night, with Ray, I had...

Later, I got to thinking about relationships and partial lobotomies,

Later, inspired by Samantha's exploration of new territory,

Let me see that.

Let me see!

Let me think for a second.

Let's get you up. On three. One, two, three.

Let's get your manual out.

Let's give them a little tug and see.

Let's go for a walk.

Let's go have a drink and a smoke sometime.

Let's go, Pete.

Let's go.

Let's not assume it's the same problem.

Let's not discuss this in front of the driver.

Let's not invite Maria. I could use a night away.

Let's retrace your steps. Were you on top?

Let's see what happens.

Let's see, just...

Let's see.

Like a...

Like what?

Like what?

Listen to this.

Listen.

Long weekend. What's wrong?

Look at him. He can't drive.

Look at his robe. It's so Robin and his Merry Men.

Look at me. I grabbed some Mee Krob.

Look at that dog's sack.

Look how much bigger my dick looks!

Look over here!

Look what I bought today. My first jazz CD.

Look! I made crust!

Look. The perfect dust ruffle.

Loosen up, baby. We're below 14th Street.

Made it a lot easier to spot those great, nice guys to have fun with.

Make it very clear to the Philadelphia florist.

Make love in my bed,

Man! How about that?

Manhattan is merely a place to kill time

Marathon Man?

Maria made one last effort to give Samantha what she thought she needed.

Maria.

May I join you?

Maybe he doesn't want to come in and meet your dad.

Maybe I could come in and you two could make me a sandwich.

Maybe I should get Big, him and me together.

Maybe I should just come up on the weekends.

Maybe I shouldn't have pulled away so fast.

Maybe if we only have one child?

Maybe it was narrow minded,

Maybe it's bullshit,

Maybe men and women aren't from different planets.

Maybe men and women don't live in the same zip code,

Maybe not. I think he's in London. Let's keep it to low maintenance friends.

Maybe Ray was like jazz. Instead of making him be something else,

Maybe that physical connection obliterates any intellectual one,

Maybe that's it.

Maybe the drive will do me good. I'll come up for an hour, we'll talk,

Maybe there isn't someone for everyone.

Maybe we live closer to each other.

Maybe you inspired him. Maybe he named the bar Miranda's

Maybe, maybe not. I don't know if I believe all that.

Maybe. But mostly he pissed me off.

Me, yes. I'm uncomfortable. I don't want you to feel threatened.

Means unlocking the door to home cooking and great sex,

Meanwhile in Philadelphia,

Meanwhile, 35 blocks north at Dr and Mrs Young's cocktail party

Meanwhile, across the park,

Meanwhile, back in the civilised world...

Meanwhile, Charlotte's afternoon was filled with ovulating and decorating.

Meanwhile, Miranda was getting fed up as well, with herself.

Meanwhile, Miranda's run led to "want to come up for coffee?"

Meanwhile, on his farm,

Meanwhile, Samantha was troubleshooting her own laptop.

Meanwhile, Samantha went shopping, nipples blazing,

Meanwhile, uptown,

Medium? Really?

Mee Krobilicious!

Men don't do that.

Men! We have to run to Helga the hot waxer, but them?

Men... Wait, let me rephrase that. Some men...

Miranda decided she didn't need a cake that badly.

Miranda didn't answer her phone. I left a message

Miranda didn't know what they were, but it felt good.

Miranda found a kind of support that actually fit her.

Miranda got what she needed:

Miranda invited Steve for tea and sympathy.

Miranda learned the joys of cooking and of not working.

Miranda needed a shitty black bra to go with her shitty black dress.

Miranda realised it's not just about being single.

Miranda realised the thing to do to help Steve

Miranda says that you were amazing.

Miranda was right. When you see a ghost, you know.

Miranda was thrilled, but she still wasn't sure

Miranda wasn't feeling very Shecky.

Miranda, I'm so sorry.

Miranda, still off sex and on chocolate,

Miranda, the doctor's waiting. Don't use that cell phone in the hospital.

Miranda, what would I be?

Miranda's in Philadelphia. Her mother had a heart attack.

Miranda's mother died.

Miranda's neck is out.

Monkey Bar

More accurately, how does your personal life affect your business?

More talking?

Morning, ladies!

Mother spent a lot of time and money on this place.

Ms Boundaries has found Mr No Boundaries.

Ms Jones, wait!

Mulberry Street.

My body is fucked up because of the marathon.

My computer just crashed, right in the middle...

My dear child, you cannot not have a dust ruffle. It's unsightly.

My dear, I'm a firm believer in firm mattresses.

My estranged wife has a fine ass.

My grandmother had a ghost. She had to tell it to leave.

My life is about other joys.

My Maria, from the gallery?

My mother just died and...

My mother worked. It would have been nice to have her home.

My neck is out. Charlotte called and I was drying my hair.

My neck pulled again and this is the only way I felt comfortable.

My own system works fine.

My plates!

My relationship with Aidan was dead,

My sister and her husband want me to walk with them down the aisle.

My whole life was on that computer.

Never again. Where's the bar in this bar?

Never.

New York City can be a terrifying place.

New York is definitely haunted.

Next day, I worked on a little piece I was calling

Next day, while Aidan was tearing down the shed,

Next morning, I had a new thought.

Next morning, Miranda decided I might be right that she was Ms Boundaries.

Next morning, Miranda got up early to pee in peace and make Doug coffee.

Next morning, my own search party called with news of a breakthrough.

Next time I'm hard, would you consider measuring my John Thomas?

Next time, talk to me before you talk to the press.

Next you'll tell me that my junior prom date is the bar back.

Nice smell. That's the April fresh stuff?

Nice to meet you, Shayna.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Nighty night!

Nighty night.

Nighty night.

Nipples are huge right now. Open any magazine.

No goddamn soul mate.

No good can come of that.

No hot guys.

No magic words to soothe us.

No matter how well you think you know New York,

No more plaid, no more duck decoys.

No one talks about backing up. You've never used that expression before.

No one wants to hear about their lover's past lovers. Leave it.

No problem.

No special guy to wish me happy birthday.

No special guy to wish me happy birthday.

No spiritual stuff and he can't keep the family tree straight?

No way I'm going to his opening, right?

No work or running for a week. She has to wear a foam collar.

No, but I am seeing a whole bunch of unspecial guys.

No, didn't see them.

No, don't come in. I'm naked.

No, don't go. We can get another table.

No, I just...

No, I mean stopping working. Altogether.

No, I'm going to bed. I am not in the mood to be with people.

No, I'm looking for this in 36A in black.

No, I'm not.

No, I'm sure you didn't.

No, it's fine. I'm fine.

No, no, Samantha. I'm listening. I'm listening.

No, no. I'm not going to be able to come to the opening

No, not after next week.

No, not exactly, but...

No, thank you.

No, that's not it.

No, the one you...

No, there will be no...

No, we can't retract it!

No, we can't. There is no air conditioner.

No, you don't!

No, you! You are bullshit!

No! Oh, my God!

No.

No.

No. God, no.

No. I believe the word you're looking for is compromise.

No. I would never do it back to them

No. Invitation to what?

No. We just went to sleep.

No. We make them uncomfortable and they don't know what to say.

No. Where is Trey?

Nobody wanted to, but they told us to get some sleep.

Not "the bomb". Not the good kind.

Not "You're dead. Let's disco!"

Not another guy, no.

Not bad, huh?

Not going to happen.

Not like that. Not with sex.

Not like that. Not with sex.

Not necessarily in that order.

Not on his tummy. You're trying to break up the phlegm.

Not on your own. With Aidan.

Not only are you great to me,

Not so fast!

Not that I'm aware of. Let me check.

Not the same way you are. But he is

Not till Monday?

Not to have a man in my life who cares about me.

Not yet! My basal body temperature reading says I ovulate in five days.

Nothing happened.

Nothing I haven't seen before.

Nothing left to talk about!

Nothing. We just kept making love.

Nothing's happening. Or will ever happen.

Notice how much better I'm doing this time? No cheating.

Now a non art related question.

Now I can get into your front door!

Now I can't eat my cake.

Now I don't know if I want to be married!

Now I'm back with Trey, I feel safe.

Now I'm practically perfect, don't you think?

Now my sister's mad at me. I've got to go.

Now that Big and I weren't playing the dating game, we could just play.

Now that Jessica's gone, he wants to see me again?

Now that they had opened the door of communication,

Now that Trey could get hard in the bedroom,

Now we got it. Here we go! Home free!

Now we just have to put apples in and it's pie.

Now we know what $500 worth of glitter looks like.

Nuclear fission?

Nyquil doesn't cure anything. Except consciousness.

Of being in a relationship she simply said,

Of course I do. Don't you?

Of course we're going. You should call her.

Of course. Absolutely. That's what friends are for.

Oh, dear.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! And you let me go on about my stupid computer?

Oh, my God! Come back.

Oh, my God.

OK then, Houdini

OK, good night.

OK, lady. You take the cake.

OK, now, that's it.

OK, Shecky.

OK, Sister. Let's go. I won't lose my table at Pastisse

OK, stop.

OK, thanks.

OK, you can call them titty witties.

OK! That's plenty! Thanks.

OK.

OK. I have to...

OK. I'll talk.

OK. I'll talk.

OK. Take a cab.

On drugs.

On Park Avenue, a different reason for celebrating.

Once Aidan and I were back together,

Once everyone's here, we'll be drinking lots of champagne.

One at a time. Which one of you crashed?

One ball? One ball?

One cake, please. Which do you recommend?

One cup of milk.

One frazzled Friday, four girlfriends came from four different directions:

One half nelson, one full orgasm.

One loud mouth guy found a woman who loved it

One minute he was perfectly happy. The next, furious.

One of those we hate, who just works till she gets married.

One phone call later... Does the ghost like Oreos?

One room in every marriage forces the question,

One slow train ride and two fast food apple pies later...

One thing was clear: I had to get back to the country.

One time does not a marriage make.

One time it almost happened, but I got the feeling he lost his way.

One to start.

One: sex life.

Only a fireman without a collarbone could rescue me.

Or a fruit basket. Or muffins. What do you think?

Or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past?

Or every other weekend.

Or have I been with a woman too long?

Or Hobbes Nob.

Or making love on a bed without a dust ruffle that offended,

Or maybe a houseplant I can go to dinner with?

Or maybe he needed closure. Maybe I'd never know.

Or maybe he'll never forget what happened.

Or maybe it's possible to find both.

Or milk, for that matter.

Or my ex husband, whom I have sex with occasionally in coatrooms?

Or on an answering machine.

Or the next night, either.

Or, in Steve's case, Chinese food and chop sake.

Orgasms stopped. For good.

Our kids will be different.

Over at Casa de Lesbo...

Pack your bags, little lady.

Painting is like eating. Like sex.

Parents.

Park Avenue and Samantha.

Peanuts?

People having sex in Connecticut?

Perhaps she couldn't throw the boy out with the toilet water.

Perhaps, dare I say it, in the same zip code.

Pete's poo poo platter continued for so many blocks

Phil, what is it that you do?

Philadelphia. Just a hop, skip, cab, a Metroliner and another cab away.

Phones calls obsessing about a relationship.

Pick a box. 30 to 35?

Pick out a zip drive, start saving. Then you won't lose everything.

Plant their bulbs? We are talking about gardening?

Please get your hands off my breasts!

Please keep it down. We're on the Upper East Side.

Please say you're exaggerating.

Please stop calling me. I'll call you when I figure out what I want.

Pleased to meet you.

Plus, I've got Pete and he's like Kato.

Put that away.

Raise money for the paediatric AlDS wing.

Ray and I were going to go first.

Ray! Stop!

Ray's and my first date.

Read between the lines, Ms Jones. I deal with a lot of business...men.

Really?

Really? 40 to 45.

Really? Because I get more of a...

Relationships, no matter how good, are inevitably a series of compromises

Rely on the same old philosophy of forgive and forget?

Remember when the economy was good and we had a table?

Right then and there, Samantha decided to let down her boundaries

Right! Sorry, I'm just a little overwhelmed.

Rips open my dress, lays me down in the street and enters me.

Samanfa, does your 'gina wina want a widdle visit

Samanfa, I wuv your titty witties!

Samantha called in a bona fide positions expert

Samantha decided if she was going to be gay,

Samantha forgave and Brad got a lesson he never forgot.

Samantha got her meeting with hotel magnate Richard Wright,

Samantha got the relationship and the sex.

Samantha had to face her past and Charlotte was facing her future.

Samantha Jones, public relations.

Samantha Jones.

Samantha realised she wore the nipples and attracted a big baby.

Samantha was determined to get Maria out of the tub and out on the town.

Samantha was right.

Samantha was touched.

Samantha wasn't most people.

Samantha wasn't one of those people.

Samantha wondered if the hot monk was her soul mate

Samantha, have you called Miranda?

Samantha, you home?

Samantha... It's not really working for me.

Samantha's orgasm remained at large.

Schmagina? Is that what lesbians are calling it?

Sean Sullivan! What are you doing in town?

Sean, what are you doing here? It's three o'clock in the morning.

Sean, you can't be here.

See all the greens in the hillside? It's beautiful

See how we do. Besides...

See you later.

See you soon.

See you.

See! "Your husband!"

Send him an e mail.

Send me the dry cleaning bill?

Shall we have a glass of wine first?

Shayna's teaching me to play jacks with peanuts. I'm at threesies.

She "we'd" him. Right in front of me.

She broke it off. She said she never wants to see me again.

She called me!

She came up to me at her premiere and asked for a light.

She can reach me,

She can reach me, but I can't ever get her.

She can reach me, but I can't get her.

She cooked dinner for their guests.

She could reach me, but I could never get her.

She could reach me. I couldn't get her. See?

She cried for what she couldn't say and didn't even know she felt.

She didn't let the cook put shrimp in my omelette.

She died early this morning.

She felt like she should do something in return.

She had become a bona fide dimmer expert.

She had one sick relationship on her hands.

She just happened to be there with coffee?

She just walked in so get those looks off your faces.

She might come off like she's strong and over it,

She never answers. Here's the thing.

She opened the door for everything else.

She raised you like that, but I am not your mother.

She said the easiest thing to do is to test your sperm.

She said, "l have two vices. Smoking and green eyed men."

She saw no reason why their bed should be.

She thinks that it would be faster to take the train.

She wants him but she can't have him. It's all very "Thorn Birds".

She wants us to take it seriously.

She was 12 days into her cycle and three rooms into her lighting project.

She was determined to find the perfect replacement.

She was determined to just relax, unwind...

She was not watching me. We were talking while I was in the bath

She was ready to move back in to the other rooms as well.

She was stable last night

She wasn't even sick.

She wasn't having sex as she wanted a relationship.

She won't return my calls.

She would have to let down her boundaries

She'd be gay all the way.

She'd have to go back eventually, just to prove Charlotte wrong.

She's an actress. Willow Summers.

She's crazy about me. Willow Summers is crazy about me!

She's crazy, I'm telling you. She has the eyes of a crazy person.

She's done. Now, I'm thinking,

She's expecting us. If we miss the orchid show, she'll be devastated.

She's got big boobs. So does she.

She's got passion, talent,

She's hilarious!

She's in town. We were going to meet, she hasn't got back to me.

She's my Maria now. We're having a relationship.

She's not a lesbian. She just ran out of men.

She's not an actress, she's a movie star!

She's not good.

She's not looking for anybody. Bullshit.

She's pretty out of it, but she woke up long enough to veto my lipstick.

Sheila! Hi! How are you?

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit! I'm sorry!

Shit.

Shoegal. That's my screen name.

Should I invite Big?

Should l...?

Shut the fuck up. I'm 140.

Shut up or I'll give you a sponge bath.

Since I wasn't going to risk an awkward public confrontation with Aidan,

Since my boys have all grown up, my orchids have become my babies.

Since she couldn't admit she was incapable

Since you don't like to go out...

Smart, tough, a real ball buster.

Snug as a bug in a rug.

So Aidan didn't invite me?

So can a boyfriend...

So did Charlotte,

So far just the one, but I'm optimistic.

So how was Miranda?

So I decided to go home and kill myself.

So I felt the need to call someone...older.

So I have a ghost because I'm single?

So I just wanted to thank Aidan for inviting me.

So I know, I have always known,

So it's stage one? I looked it up on the Net.

So let's get our coats and go back to your place

So now he's working on the pipes all day.

So now we're talking and trying to figure out what he...

So thank you for being a huge bitch.

So that's a no?

So they tried another position, 299.

So try harder. Go hoe!

So we are talking till we figure it out. So no, he's not here.

So we can't even be friends?

So we're trying to figure things out, nothing physical.

So what? This is the only restaurant in New York opening tonight?

So when are you going back?

So where are the guys?

So where is this person?

So you and Big are really friends or something?

So you can talk about Aidan. You didn't even bring cream cheese.

So, just to get things straight,

So, what are you thinking?

So, what do you think?

So...

So...I love your robe.

Society views single people our age as sad and pathetic.

Sold.

Some are threatened by strong women.

Some dicks manage just fine.

Some friends are giving me a dinner tomorrow. Actually, it's tonight.

Some men use baby talk to avoid intimacy.

Some place super nice, where the milk is fresh.

Some stuff.

Some women, like Charlotte, confront it head on.

Somebody has to make him feel bad about it.

Somehow, the storm had passed

Someone bright, someone smart, someone like Charlotte.

Someone once said that when one door shuts, a window opens.

Someone you hire to change your kid's diaper?

Something bad.

Something classy, respectful.

Something classy, respectful.

Something like that.

Something was just out of reach.

Something's happening with men and the ass.

Sometimes I like to add a pinch of nutmeg to my coffee...

Sometimes I think couples look at us and wish they had our lives.

Sometimes I walk by one of those Color Me Mine pottery places

Sometimes it even hooks up with the snare drum.

Somewhere between the Mee Krob and the model, I was dating again.

Somewhere in the city of lost dreams and missing persons,

Soon Charlotte's last day came.

Soon I'll be pregnant. That'll be huge.

Sorry about that.

Sorry for holding the table. I can't imagine where everybody is.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Soul mate. Two little words, one big concept.

Soul mates only exist in the Hallmark aisle.

Soul mates: reality or torture device?

Sounds like you'd better take some Bufferin to Suffern!

Speaking of babies, Charlotte and Trey still were not.

Speaking of not forgetting...

Speaking of wild,

Squeeze and roll.

Squeeze and roll. I think I can do that.

Squeeze and roll. Squeeze and...

Squeeze off the milk with your thumb and forefinger,

St Francis giving his coat to the poor.

Stage one: the cancer hasn't spread to the lymph nodes, has it?

Stay. Just like that. Just like that.

Steve no longer having testicular cancer

Steve's going as Aidan's air bag.

Still alone. Did anyone call asking for Bradshaw?

Still at the hospital, I expect.

Still wearing the brace.

Stop it!

Stop it! You don't know what you're doing!

Stop it! You're middle aged!

Stop!

Stop!

Stop! You're talking about a priest!

Strong arms! Strong arms! Earth to heaven!

Suddenly, Miranda realised she would never fight with her mother again.

Suffern, New York.

Sure. It's stage one. You have the operation.

Sure. That would be great.

Surprise! It's your new computer.

Sweetie, I'm sorry.

Sweetie, you're not done yet.

Take that back!

Take the train in for your meeting

Taking someone else's cab was at the top of her list.

Tasteful. All white.

Technically you are friends now, right?

Technically, Maria has three and a third dicks.

Tell him he needs mints.

Tell me exactly what happened right before you crashed.

Tell that to her schmagina.

Tell us about the relationship. How are things going?

Thank God, you're finally here! I got the last table.

Thank God. Now I have a doctor who knows what he's doing,

Thank you for walking me home.

Thank you, but we're a little more low key.

Thank you, thank you!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. We're going to take a short break.

Thanks

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

That afternoon, I thought about my friends:

That always works on my computer.

That area is like a minefield!

That businessmen would be more comfortable

That coq au vin was amazing.

That cowl neck look is on the way out.

That crazy movie star broke up with him.

That dog just bit my ass!

That garbage truck is...

That goes to a late movie in the middle of the week. I'm crazy!

That he has nothing to worry about.

That I'm a horrible selfish bitch?

That I'm not doing African dance again or that you can't keep a secret?

That is not how it works.

That kind of hurt. What was that?

That made the Exxon oil spill an incident rather than a debacle.

That makes the gap between the Holy Grail and the assholes even bigger.

That night, Charlotte performed a more traditional wifely duty.

That night, Charlotte was haunted by dust ruffles, ducks and Bunny.

That night, despite all my fears and reservations,

That night, I decided to interrupt guys' night

That night, I decided to really talk to Ray.

That night, I tried to compose my first e mail,

That night, I wasn't the only one who was haunted.

That night, Miranda let her boundaries down with Doug, a New Yorker cartoonist.

That night, Miranda realised she'd used chocolate as a substitute for sex

That night, neither Charlotte nor Trey came inside.

That night, Trey and Charlotte didn't have sex

That night, we went to Charlotte's gallery

That only works on PCs.

That settled it. He wasn't forgiving or forgetting.

That sounds like a plan.

That Sunday, Samantha went to church.

That was about 30 seconds. I think I did pretty good.

That was almost mind blowing.

That was good!

That was it? That's all I get? I don't even know what that was.

That was really great.

That was the plan.

That would be a nice change.

That you are with somebody now?

That you could never be that kind of mother.

That'll look better on a court transcript of this dinner.

That's a big maybe.

That's a relationship.

That's a Sad Mac. You should have told me that before.

That's a slump.

That's a very expensive purse.

That's cool.

That's discrimination.

That's fireworks!

That's fucked up.

That's good for you. But what's in it for me?

That's good.

That's it.

That's it. Stealth.

That's it. You're going down!

That's Luke Gilmore. Came out here after the market crash.

That's Miranda. We'll talk later.

That's my ovaries. I'm ovulating.

That's my squirrel? Any more surprises I should know about?

That's my squirrel. I've been sneaking him nuts

That's never bad news for the artist.

That's not a ghost. That's a weird neighbour's nocturnal, what have you.

That's not all we did.

That's obscene! Walk.

That's one.

That's perfect!

That's perfect. We have five days to practise.

That's Portuguese for pussy.

That's right. Here you go.

That's so retro!

That's the defence of date rapists.

That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me.

That's very kind. Thank you.

That's very upsetting.

That's what I love about this guy Nick I'm seeing.

That's what I thought, but this morning the super let me in upstairs

That's what I was hoping because great sex is great,

That's what you do. Confront the ghost, acknowledge it, release it.

That's what you get with Pekinese.

The animals have got to go.

The bad guy just has to take it, right?

The bad thing about the perfect soul mate is that it's so unattainable.

The bar, not the bathroom.

The beauty of jazz is that it can go anywhere.

The bed, where she and Trey had so much trouble as man and wife.

The best we can do is breathe and reboot.

The cooking and AlDS stuff is great,

The decoys may come and go,

The East Side, the West Side,

The Eskimo have hundreds of words for "snow".

The experience had them a little rattled,

The first thing we should do is send some flowers.

The flowers were supposed to say, "We're so sorry. We love you",

The funeral's on Tuesday and I don't have anything to wear.

The gotta talk girl.

The guys blew me off so I came to hang out with my buddy Steve

The house will get better, you'll see.

The irony is that women don't care that much about balls.

The jazz guy, the model, the lesbian and her friend Samantha.

The ladies enjoy sleight of hand.

The last few guys I've been with were much more eager to attend to it.

The lndians had to wait up to six months for a response.

The longer I sat at the table, the more alone I felt.

The longer you wait to find out what's going on,

The Louvre, Monsieur Payard's signature chocolate cake.

The mind blowing sex.

The minute we met, I knew we were meant to be together.

The more likely it is that the cancer will spread and you will die.

The more words we invent, the harder it is to define things.

The most important thing is that Maria has taught me to connect during sex.

The next day, as Trey looked for action, Charlotte looked for answers.

The next day, I found the perfect colour on me and something else on Charlotte.

The next day, on Wall Street...

The next day, Richard Wright hired Samantha.

The next day, sans nipples, Miranda's cardio put mine to shame.

The next morning, due to sheer embarrassment,

The next night, my ex introduced me to a tiny jazz club in the East Village.

The oldest married woman who wants one.

The one l...? The one to you.

The only thing I have ever made in a kitchen

The only way to get anything to eat is to make it yourself

The other way, for Christ's sake!

The penis likes this but not that, and the penis wants to be measured!

The pest control guy sticks some dead ones on a strip...

The place is empty. I know it sounds crazy, but I could feel it.

The place looks great.

The plumbing's 1974, so it needs some work.

The prosthesis approximates the weight, shape and feel of a normal testicle.

The red panty, green eyed connection.

The sex we had on the floor of your apartment was quite good.

The squirrel's not so bad.

The strike was officially over.

The talking has replaced the fucking in our relationship!

The thing about New York is everyone is always going.

The truly amazing thing is I had the news tonight!

The tummy is gone. At that thing last week, he looked disturbingly good.

The whole place looked and felt just like Aidan.

The woman with the birthday cake is here

The women's movement is supposed to be about choice.

The women's movement? I haven't even had coffee yet.

The Y is silent.

Then he must be good.

Then he'll go right back to the city.

Then I go to take a shower and there's no water,

Then I guess I should...

Then I guess we'd be a couple of Sad Macs.

Then I'll head home.

Then I'll watch from down here in case you trip.

Then roll down into a fist. Squeeze and roll.

Then she dissed me. I was following her around like a goddamn dog.

Then she falls in love with me.

Then there it was: the Batmobile.

Then there'll be some tears.

Then they called and said she was crashing.

Then Trey told the lie that all parents to be have to tell themselves.

Then we could let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.

Then we'll have to have sex at your mother's.

Then you go on strike, you don't eat pussy!

Then, boom!

There are 40 kinds of dimmers.

There are a million reasons to celebrate in New York:

There are no explanations, no answers,

There are places a dick just can't go!

There are times when you still feel shipwrecked and alone,

There behind the curtain,

There I was, inches away from my ex boyfriend, friend, whatever,

There I was, miles from home, hours from sleep,

There I was: trapped in a cabin outdated even by Civil War standards,

There it is.

There it was: the truth. No Hallmark hope, no two drink minimum.

There it was. My past. It was a mess.

There they were: Batman and the Green Bee.

There was a huge, giant squirrel in that window.

There was no sign of him, but he was everywhere.

There we were: me, my ex,

There were weird noises last night. The cat heard it, too.

There you are. What are you doing here?

There's a first time for everything.

There's a lake right over there. One mile.

There's always somewhere or someone new to discover.

There's an entire surgical staff in the next room!

There's got to be that someone out there for me.

There's nothing wrong with having a husband.

There's only one out there? Why don't I shoot myself right now?

There's something here.

There's squirrels everywhere. It's Animal Farm.

There's the kind of support you ask for and the kind you don't ask for.

These are not your plates! You don't even cook!

These flowers will be on the altar.

They even make fake dog balls.

They forgot the tea! Did you want tea? I could make some.

They gave me the name of a specialist who...

They had been dating for a month.

They have to make her just a woman again, hence,

They just don't get it. My weekends are for meeting new guys.

They make them for humans, too.

They met at my gallery. I introduced them.

They still think I'm his "in case of emergency" person.

They told me you were inside. Am I disturbing you?

They were passed over for three co ops because of their dog.

They're LeSueur peas. They're the best.

Things fall apart. We could fall apart.

Think about it. You want a Pinto near your penis?

Think again.

Think how much easier it would be if there was some surgical procedure

Think I want to be treated like some cancer patient?

This feels like a two patch day.

This floor's original. It dates back to 1874.

This goddamn milk is bad. You just let it sit in there?

This guy's a hack.

This is 459 1905. I'm not in, so please leave a message.

This is a big transition in my life.

This is a Brazilian thing.

This is a happy development.

This is a whole new thing because I miss you. I've missed you.

This is Aidan. I'm not in. Leave a message.

This is awful. Did you talk about it?

This is comfy, isn't it? Charlotte, you must try this.

This is divine. Nice and firm.

This is hard.

This is hard.

This is heaven

This is lovely. Why are you even walking this mongrel?

This is lovemaking.

This is me.

This is me. Thank you.

This is my attempt to breathe and reboot.

This is New York. He's a pest guy.

This is nothing! It's a blip!

This is perfect.

This is perfect.

This is surprisingly delicious.

This is the healthiest thing Samantha's done in a long time.

This is what we wear.

This isn't your crazy yellow toenail. This is cancer.

This lick right here is why I wanted to play the bass.

This looks amazing, Charlotte.

This looks amazing, Charlotte.

This man was here for nothing but sex.

This may be hard for you to understand.

This might be a good time to tell you. I don't like jazz.

This might be a shock, but I used to have sex with men.

This night is hard enough as it is.

This subject matter has put me off my dinner.

This thing's just faking you out.

This time, inaction was speaking louder than words.

This time, we didn't need any words.

This was delivered today.

This weekend, I'm a hick town hostage.

This year, Waxy Hanahan's Chocolate Oncidium

Three hours, two mosquitoes and one too many vodka Kool Aids later,

Three lattes, two newspapers and...

Three, two, one, blast off!

Tired of being the "wake up and smell the coffee" girl,

To get this model, you have to enrol in a clinical trial.

To give Aidan a quick "Thank you for helping Miranda" kiss.

To Mr All Souls.

To pass the time in the country. Just not enough time.

To pretending I didn't hate listening to Big's Willow talk.

To realise that city girls are just country girls...

To Samantha Jones, some things were unforgivable.

To whisk away all the ugly memories and mistakes

Tonight, it was to the opening of Tao.

Training for the marathon wasn't the only thing getting her heart rate going.

Trey and Charlotte were finally on the same page

Trey and I are back together. This is our house.

Trey and l. Coatroom. Friday. Bistro bathroom last night.

Trey couldn't talk to anyone.

Trey had one last chance to ask Charlotte to move in.

Trey likes to do it.

Trey loves Bunny so I'm ovulating at the orchid show.

Trey loves golf so I'm taking lessons

Trey may have had a lot of flaws, but bad manners wasn't one of them.

Trey wanted to get in...everywhere.

Trey, are you...?

Trey, if we're serious about making a fresh start with our marriage

Trey, please, not here.

Trey!

Trey.

Tricia Watson was one of those hip moms

Truly mind blowing sex.

Trust me. I've been to the area.

Try these.

Two different ideas that might be perfect together

Two Mojitos coming up. On the house.

Two souls, one big budget.

Two: you only want me when you can't have me.

Uncomfortable for me or you?

Unfortunately, I got the feeling Ray had stopped playing me

Unfortunately, it was mostly to himself.

Unless expressly invited.

Unless Hallmark makes a "Sorry I cheated" card.

Up and at them, George McFad...

Up and at them, George McFaddem. It's daylight in the swamp!

Up here!

Uptown, Charlotte's marathon redecoration continued.

Usually he sleeps next to me, right here.

Usually involving a guy and a couple of Quaaludes.

Vagina schmagina.

Vegan diet bullshit.

Wait a minute. Are we talking tuchus lingus?

Wait a minute. Hold still.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait!

Wait a second! You're in a relationship?

Wait your turn, shut the door, do your business.

Wait, Ray.

Wait. Wait!

Walking home from ADD, Another Dating Disaster,

Want another drink?

Want to play me?

Want to wrestle?

Wants to know about my weekend.

Warren Dreyfous founded a communication strategy firm

Was he there all along? Like the chair he made that I could never sell.

Was just one of them.

Watch and learn, young buck.

Watching his dog take a dump will make the memory of Big fade?

We already have enough bathrooms.

We call jazz.

We can just spin them and whip them up

We can replace your motherboard, but you have to get a backup system.

We can't! You need to conserve your juices so they'll be at their most powerful.

We care about nice arms, great eyes, big dick.

We could all talk. Aidan could see once and for all that I love him,

We discussed it over dinner and he blew up.

We don't know. Sometimes these things crash.

We got married really fast. Love at first sight, didn't think it through.

We had some problems in the bedroom,

We have replaced Miranda's nipples with rubber ones.

We have some big decisions to make.

We have three times as many for "relationship".

We love each other so much,

We make love all over the apartment then I get a cab home like some hooker!

We might have to get Charlotte a crash helmet.

We might never be there again.

We needed to catch the relationship up to the sex.

We rushed my '98 laptop in my '99 Pashmina to Tekserve.

We should be getting to know each other again, not...

We stopped trying after the Watsons came over.

We were hoping to find a bed that was a little bigger

We were in a group of married or engaged women.

We will redecorate it as we see fit.

We'd like to know too because you'll be having sex there.

We'll do it together. It'll be fun

We'll see.

We're already partners in a bar. People are going to talk!

We're at a cocktail party and I'm your estranged wife.

We're at a funeral!

We're coming uptown to meet you at the coffee shop.

We're five blocks from your place. We'll get in our old bed

We're going to go.

We're going to run into stuff that's hard.

We're going to the bathroom.

We're going to the funeral? I thought we were just sending flowers.

We're having Trey's sperm tested.

We're home.

We're just taking some time to figure things out.

We're looking for Aidan, ladies, eyes akimbo.

We're married.

We're middle aged men. We have nothing in common.

We're more about collecting food to feed to the needy

We're not finished.

We're not moving on till you tell us about one of your masturbation guys.

We're separated, not legally. Nothing legal! God, no!

We're taking some time apart.

We're undefinable.

We've been trying for three months. I don't want to take any chances.

We've got a relationship without sex and sex without a relationship.

Weekends are good.

Welcome to my world.

Well, he did!

Well, I like the word "soul".

Well, I've got to go.

Well, men.

Well, she does.

Went up to her hotel,

Were they just a runner up in the game show "Happily Ever After"?

West 12th and 9th Avenue, please. I hope you enjoy the ride.

What a beautiful wedding ring. Where's your husband?

What about a birthday dinner? Il Cantinori, something nice.

What am I supposed to say?

What are we doing?

What are you doing next weekend?

What are you doing next weekend?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Look where you're standing!

What are you doing? Stop it!

What are you doing? You can't drive.

What are you saying?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you up to, Sammy Jo?

What did I say?

What did it mean that I wanted to talk to my ex boyfriend?

What did it say?

What did women do before Russell Crowe?

What do superheroes have to do with it?

What do you do for the next 140 minutes?

What do you think it means?

What do you think? Scary as you thought?

What do you want to do with the room?

What happened to my air bag? Steve tried to kiss me!

What happens when you're not around one day?

What has the gallery ever done for me?

What I saw back there...

What if everything I've ever written is gone?

What is he going to tell me?

What is it with weekends? Every guy I've fucked since Memorial Day

What is it? What happened? Are you OK?

What is so funny about jazz?

What is this? Why is this happening?

What is wrong with us?

What pisses me off is it was me who told him to open his own bar.

What purses are to women.

What really defines a relationship?

What relationship could I have with a guy I couldn't talk to?

What the hell was going on in this nightmare?

What the hell's a Diaper Genie?

What time's the next train?

What ultimately defines a relationship is another relationship.

What was going on in there?

What was going on in there?

What we, he and l, really want.

What you doing there, sister? Doing the robot?

What, honey?

What?

What?

What?

What? Jesus!

What? No!

What's beautiful is your ass in that skirt.

What's it to be? The usual?

What's the fun of getting clean if you can't get dirty first?

What's the problem? Aidan's better in a crisis than I am.

What's this mallard doing here? He lives in the study.

What's with the...? There'll be no...

What's wrong?

Whatever it is you're doing, don't stop.

Whatever this is we're doing, it isn't working.

Whatever you say, Mother. You know best.

When a relationship dies, do we ever give up the ghost?

When Batman and the Green Hornet fought,

When Big still hadn't arrived two hours later,

When did you last back up?

When even a resourceful survivor puts a message in a bottle

When I called him this morning,

When I could have been cocktailing and sample saleing.

When I hear that song, I think of you.

When I lived alone, I felt scared all the time.

When I woke up, Aidan was on the other side of the bed.

When in a hostile situation,

When men attempt bold gestures, it's generally considered romantic.

When Miranda left the door open for peeing,

When none of those worked, they went back to old faithful, number 17.

When she drew me a bath and told me how she spent her day.

When she gets here, we have to talk about her relationship.

When Trey told me you were buying a new bed, I insisted he let me help.

When was the last time you backed up your work?

When we could be home relaxing together?

When women do it, it's often considered desperate or psycho.

When you can date without sex, screw without dating

When you have no idea what you'd say if he answered.

Where are all the hot guys?

Where are my shoes?

Where are you from? You said something about the Jersey Shores.

Where are you?

Where are you? We're still here.

Where have you been? Where's Miranda? I'm starving.

Where is it?

Where? Testicle shopping?

Where's Steve?

Where's the cup?

Where's the lesbian du jour?

Where's your keys?

Which had a better shot at survival?

Which I used to enjoy and haven't had much of in this relationship.

While Charlotte walked through her door, I kept mine firmly closed.

While downtown, a dearly departed spirit suddenly reappeared.

While Miranda tried to do her business, Samantha helped Maria with hers.

While others...

While Samantha worked up an appetite, Charlotte's eggs were ready.

While trying to make a baby, Charlotte and Trey destroyed Bunny's

Who answered his phone this morning...

Who are all these attractive people?

Who came fully equipped.

Who did he think he was? They were husband and wife.

Who has the time? I like to get in and get out.

Who is she?

Who isn't so emotional.

Who said anything about dick?

Who the hell is this doctor?

Who wants a beer?

Who's a better boyfriend than you?

Who's the farmer with the delts?

Why are we even talking about this?

Why are we out in this crowd, with all this smoke,

Why are we walking so fast?

Why are you getting so mad?

Why are you leaving this fantastic job?

Why are you listening to that?

Why are you so afraid to talk?

Why can't I have the relationship and the sex?

Why did you not introduce me to that Sean?

Why did you take the phone in there?

Why didn't you just say you weren't interested?

Why don't you come in?

Why don't you just fuck her? Then we can both be bad.

Why don't you want the last spring roll? You eat all the spring rolls!

Why have you not told these nobody

Why leap to the conclusion that the problem is me?

Why make one when you can buy one so perfect and individually sized?

Why no skeet in the city? I love the skeet!

Why now? I've lived there two years.

Why were so many independent women...

Why would you be depressed

Why would you say something like that?

Why? What does that mean?

Why? Why can't we wait? It's five stupid blocks!

Will be no match for my Rising Suns.

Will you help me patch up, buddy?

Will you hold this? Carrie, stop!

Will you stop saying that? It is a big deal.

With every second of our kiss, it was becoming clearer:

With his own bare hands.

With my editor in town next week.

With no one to talk to, nowhere to go, and nothing to do except...

With no true soul mate,

With that, Maria released Samantha's ghost,

With the biggest balls I've seen. Complete pussy.

Women don't care!

Women get breast implants.

Work, work, Au Bon Pain, work. And you?

Would you explain that to Steve? I'm dating other people now.

Would you please come out of there? Can we talk about this like adults?

Yeah, man.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, we might actually have fun!

Yes, Bunny.

Yes, I am, Carrie. Life is not all about sex.

Yes, I know I don't have a boyfriend.

Yes, I know I don't have a boyfriend.

Yes, ladies. I'm a lesbian.

Yes, ma'am

Yes, thank you. In fact, there they are now.

Yes, there is!

Yes, Trey MacDougal. I will remarry you.

Yes, you can. And you better.

Yes!

Yes! Age, check box:

Yes.

Yes. A mean little man popped up with 'X's where his eyes should be

Yes. I'd like to hear the words come out of your mouth.

You a PC user? Then you're not compatible.

You always said I should start my own bar. I never forgot.

You and Carrie are just friends now, right?

You are a great, great boyfriend. You know that?

You are bound to run into until you resolve them.

You bought me a strap on?

You broke my heart!

You call this a relationship?

You came! I'm so glad.

You can be my wife.

You can come. Don't come. Whatever. Do what you like.

You can feel it. The hairs on your neck stand up.

You can make a painting or you can do my laundry.

You can paint, you can cook, you can do everything.

You can't be friends with a squirrel!

You can't drive. Sleep on the couch.

You can't enter a dog in a show if it's only got one ball.

You can't follow it and there's no melody

You can't go! You have to entertain me when Aidan goes to bed.

You can't smoke in the house.

You cheating on him does not mean he'd cheat on you.

You could be out of town or be busy.

You could say, "I'm so sorry for your loss.

You cut your hair.

You did good.

You didn't see all those "Don't worry, you'll find someone" looks?

You didn't want to be married.

You do your thing.

You do?

You don't do relationships and it would be very bad for me.

You don't have to call these titty witties. They're my breasts.

You don't have to do anything.

You don't have to give me an exact number.

You don't have to say anything about them.

You don't have to. I don't really know.

You don't. One word: granola. So not you.

You feel bad about yourself.

You go have fun with the guys.

You had a lot of nerve telling me to get a wax.

You had a lot of nerve telling me to get a wax.

You have 14 messages.

You have a lot to offer.

You have a priest?

You have frosting on your lip.

You have me in common. If you and Aidan don't become friendly,

You have something no one has. A ghost.

You have to be there to appreciate it.

You have to come. It's your birthday.

You have to forgive me, Aidan.

You have to forgive me!

You have to forgive me!

You have to forgive me.

You have to forgive me.

You have to forgive me.

You have to forgive me.

You have to go. You're friends now. That's what friends do.

You have to know that. I would never do that to you again.

You have to make friends with him.

You have two ghosts.

You haven't been out here since I went up, have you?

You hear it too, Fatty?

You hesitated.

You just caught us off guard with the lesbian thing.

You just seemed so nervous telling that bug story.

You just wanted to have sex in front of him!

You know Miranda. She was trying to be so strong,

You know what I love about this city?

You know what you are?

You know what you need? A weekend with me at Aidan's country house.

You know what? I think I'm clean now.

You know what? If I was a guy, you would have shaken my hand,

You know, talk.

You know, you give a little tug.

You know... I turned my head, I coughed, he poked around a little.

You left something at my...

You let men come to your door in the middle of the night?

You like pies?

You live near the restaurant. It's the least I could do.

You look great.

You look great. How you doing?

You love Pete, I love Pete. That's just the kind of girlfriend I am.

You lured me here under false pretences.

You may never get back in the nook.

You may not like it, but this is how I deal with things.

You mentioned that.

You might want to brush your teeth first.

You might want to consider working with a partner

You need a safe approach in case he rejects you. E mail him.

You need to pretend to be someone else to be in a relationship?

You play hoop? Give me a shot. I play.

You put your hand on my hand.

You remember me?

You remember...?

You saved your warranty, right?

You see, I think...

You see, Samantha's my friend.

You seem to have a lot of opinions today.

You should have seen the way he was acting. He's torturing me.

You should see his bush. I need a weed whacker to find his dick.

You slept with my architect.

You tell me nothing's going on, then nothing's going on.

You tell me.

You tell them, Friar Fuck!

You think you're hot stuff?

You want a little firework?

You want to do this to make up for the past? Relieve your conscience?

You want to give them a tug?

You were really great.

You were right.

You were.

You wouldn't?

You wouldn't?

You, Steve, Miranda and me could go out.

You... You are magnificent.

You'd better move my meetings to the end of the week. I'm not 100%.

You'd have been in the lobby ten minutes ago. Here's an idea.

You'll keep me posted, right?

You'll need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker Clinic.

You're 22. What do you know about life?

You're a friend, so if you are back in town,

You're a great fuck, but I don't need the baby talk.

You're a guy. He's a guy. There's a ball. Figure it out.

You're a man of few words, but they're all the right ones.

You're a pimp.

You're a spiritual leader. Make it up.

You're a wild man.

You're always sneaking up on me.

You're at the Connecticut compound?

You're available?

You're coming to the country with me.

You're covered.

You're deflowering my pristine kitchen.

You're going to cure AlDS?

You're going to explain about Big?

You're my air bag in case of impact.

You're my friend. That means you have to go with me?

You're my man. And I love you.

You're not actually going, are you?

You're not going to just leave me here?

You're not in a Sapphic slump?

You're not just having a bad workweek?

You're not seriously smoking that, are you?

You're really something.

You're right. Once I stopped trying to define it, I realised it's great.

You're the boss. But I'm always available for the...

You're the first to arrive. Follow me, please.

You're thinking, "Where's this going?"

You're up. How are you?

You're...

You've been outside all day. I've been cooped up in here.

You've been saved by the bell.

You've been with more than 12 men?

You've done an amazing job. It's my favourite space.

You've got plenty of orgasms under your belt. You're going to be fine.

You've got to do better than that!

You've got to get online, if only for the porn.

You've got to grab 35 by the balls and say, "Hey, world, I'm 35!"

You've got to hear that on vinyl.

You've got to stop trying to make it be something else

You've just got to snip one of those guys out of there and I'm done.

You've just thought of everything, haven't you?

Young MacDonald had Samantha.

Young MacDonald?

Your bullshit cheer me up bagels are a decoy

Your comedy routine should have a two drink minimum.

Your doctor gave you an ultrasound? A CAT scan?

Your dog got sick. I'm leaving. Taxi!

Your face is glowing. Did you get a facial or something?

Your friends

Your keys? Great!

Your mother decorated this entire apartment.

Your mother was watching you bathe!

Your security code's the same. Can I come in?

1,001 sexual positions.

12.

14 hours, but who's counting?

20 minutes later, Miranda's neck had gone from bad to worse.

20 minutes later, still no party.

20 minutes.

20 to 25, 25 to 30, 30 to 34.

25! Fuck, I'm old!

35 to 40? 40 to 45?

40 minutes, if there's no traffic.

78! Number 78.

8:10. I've got to get to the gym. You don't have to go right now.

20 minutes. End of messages.

35 to 44. Honey, welcome to my box.

64? God! Come on.

6739. I know.

About the other night. What the fuck...?

About what? Us!

Absolutely. You most certainly did.

Aidan didn't exactly invite you. I did. You did?

Aidan is Steve's silent partner. Why didn't I get an invitation?

Allan. I know.

Always pulling away. I'm not pulling away.

Am I doing this right? Don't think. Just do it.

And bathrooms. All of the above.

and Big and I are just friends. I don't know.

And I just get in his little nook. Maybe he's sleeping differently.

and I'll give you the grand tour. I'll be here.

and stopped to see if I could help. We could use a hand in the kitchen.

And this is Carrie and Miranda. Really good to see you!

and Trey suggested... Trey suggested?

Any more wine? No.

Are we ready to...? Go again?

Are you a family member? I'm his "in case of emergency" person.

Are you all right? What?

Are you enough? Today she's too much.

Are you ill? Let Mother. Sore throat.

Are you in the right group? Ten minute mile?

Are you mad at me? Why would I be mad at you?

Are you OK? No, I am not OK!

Are you smiling at all? I'm listening.

Aren't these cats amazing? Cats?

Be specific. The cheeks? It was more localised than that.

Because Aidan loves the country? Apparently that's how it works.

Because... Is Ray there?

Better be dishes. Open it.

Billy Joel. We love that song. Goodnight.

Break with convention. I'm man enough.

But do I get any credit? I'm guessing not.

But he couldn't... He can. All over Manhattan.

But you love your job. I know.

but you're hired. I am?

Call my driver. We're an hour outside New York.

Can I bring you some champagne now? No, not yet.

Can I buy you a drink? No, I own the place.

Can I change the subject? I'll pay you a million dollars.

Can I get you a drink? No, thanks. I'm not staying.

Can you excuse us for a second? Sure.

Can't it wait until Saturday? We'll be in Connecticut with Mother.

Can't you bring it up? No! The penis works now,

Carrie? It's Aidan. Carrie sent me.

Carrie's calling Aidan. And hanging up!

Charlotte didn't have to. Charlotte married the guy.

Come here. No, I'm fine...

Come here. You OK? I'm fine.

Come inside. I can't. We're separated!

Come over if you want. I'll come over.

Couldn't hurt. Come on! The dog, the waitress.

Couldn't remember my name? You should've shown him both boobs.

Did he live up to his nickname? It was good.

Did he tell you that? No, he's a gentleman.

Did the cat feel it too? The hairs on my neck stood up.

Did you call her? I called all five of her numbers.

Did you ever own one? No.

Did you have a nice day? I had a fabulous day.

Do men? Do men what?

Do that thing I like. Which thing?

Do you have any questions? Just one.

Do you like it? I do.

Do you need your inhaler? He's asthmatic.

Do you really want to hear about this? Tell me more about this St Francis.

Do you want to come in? I'm too pissed to come in.

Do you want to come upstairs? I promised Pete a walk.

Do you, Carrie? Except for yours. I'm into yours.

Do you? Do I what?

Does he have your keys, too? All two of them.

Don't bring the angry guy. He's not so bad.

Don't forget the alarms. You're not finishing the day?

Don't get up, I'm coming in. No! Don't come in! I'm fine.

Don't start me on his back hair! Wait a second. Pete has to go.

Don't stop! I have to be at the cleaners' by five.

Don't you guys want to go? I did until I saw this invitation.

Don't you just hate that? Women.

Don't. All righty.

Dressed like that? It caused quite a stir.

Embarrassed, I think. No need. He's still got one.

Enjoy. Thank you.

Every time you have sex? She's exaggerating.

Everyone, this is... Allan. Allan Janice.

Excuse me? It's still being tested for safety.

Fancy shoes, Hank. They used to be mine.

Firm? All righty. Something softer. Something with a dust ruffle.

Forget it. I'm not going. To what?

Four legs good, two legs bad. You didn't say that to him?

From New York City? Yes.

Fucking against a hand drier? This is so confusing.

Fun place, huh? Hey, gorgeous.

Fun! With whom? Big.

George, Carrie. Charmed, I'm sure.

Give me one legitimate reason why. Do I have to say it?

Give me the magazine. Wait, listen to this.

Good evening, can I help you? Bradshaw. Party of ten.

Good for Steve. That's convincing.

Good morning. Good morning.

Good to see you tonight. I want to get back together.

Hailey, this is Carrie and Charlotte. Miranda.

Have fun. Not amnesia. Exactly.

Have mine. I'm not going. It's a party. You won't see him.

Have you called Miranda yet? No, I have whole wheat.

Have you ever cried? Only in the privacy of my office.

Have you run the marathon before? The past four years.

he became the Green Lantern. Hornet.

He didn't invite me. Steve's a good guy.

He gave you his keys? Yes, but I make him come to mine.

He had some breath on him. His breath was fine.

He is a priest. He is a hot priest!

He says it's perfectly safe. They said that about the Ford Pinto.

He won't go anywhere without them. Don't talk like that!

He's coming over. You'll be having dessert after all.

He's de boned? He's the wrestling coach at NYU.

He's the new improved Aidan. Low fat granola.

Heading uptown? Yes. Do you need a ride?

Her radiologist is full of himself. His wife is worse.

Here you go. Thank you.

Honey. Not now!

How are you, sweetie? I slept sitting up like the Elephant Man.

How are you? Great.

How are you? I'm fine.

How bad is it? They keep telling us different things.

How big? Huge.

How did the bar look? Like Aidan. It's amazing.

How did you get this? The chef worked at one of my clubs.

How do you happen to know that? Everybody knows that.

How does it work? What did I say?

How fucked up is that? I don't know. Very?

How long will you punish yourself? Until I'm back in the nook.

How long you been here? Not long. A while.

How many does he get? 45.

How many men have you been with? How many women have you been with?

How old are you? How old are you?

How you doing? I'm fine.

How's it going in there? Fine. Everything's fine.

How's the stock market treating you? I can't get her out of my head.

I am her. I'm sorry. I should have...

I am mortified. Relax. I'm looking the other way.

I bought you this. "Juggs"?

I brought you bagels to cheer you up. That's so nice of you!

I burned my tongue! I've got to work on that. Sorry.

I can appreciate it from here. Luckily, you won't have to.

I can't get up. OK, I'm coming in.

I could stop looking. I had found him! Congratulations!

I could take him. Who said anything about taking him?

I couldn't resist a sneak preview. Did Miranda come with you?

I couldn't. But I insist.

I deserve it, right? I'd shrug, but it hurts.

I diapered your dog! Keep your voice down.

I did this because of you. I didn't do anything!

I don't do that. You don't back up?

I don't even know you. That's good.

I don't know. You really don't know jazz, do you?

I don't need any help. You say you don't,

I don't think that's a good idea. Because of what might happen?

I don't want any crap. You told her.

I don't want him in my house. I understand.

I don't want to get into all that. lnto all what?

I feel like taking a shower. Now?

I got it and deleted it. That's not very neighbourly.

I guess so. You guess so? You don't know?

I guess they've had sex. Apparently so.

I had the most intense... Mind blowing was the word.

I hate the house. Thank you.

I have a... Thanks!

I have more notes! May I take off your panties?

I have no taste, clearly. Then my taste for us.

I know how much you like them. You knew I'd have a problem.

I know that. Then what?

I masturbated all afternoon. All right, then.

I mean I think you can go. I don't even get flan?

I need you to get behind my choice. You get behind your choice.

I see you've started without me. You must get in and feel this.

I showed him a boob in a checkroom. Just one?

I talked to the doctor. How's he?

I think I have a ghost. I think I have to hear that again.

I think you did good. You mean it?

I thought everything was great. It was.

I threw my back out. How?

I told you it was rustic. Don't kid yourself. It's a dump!

I want to kill myself! Hang in there, sugar.

I want to see how they work. Samantha already leads with her breasts.

I was here first! Sorry!

I was here last week. I know,

I was just trying to keep up. You were great.

I was talking about our relationship. Of course you were.

I was thinking more... For heaven's sake get in.

I'd be happy to do it. No, don't do anything

I'll be right down. I'm coming up.

I'll do what I can. Good seeing you.

I'll go. Thank you.

I'll lift you up. You'll see everything.

I'll walk you up. I've got it from here.

I'm 35. 35 is not 25. Thank God!

I'm all sweaty. You taste great.

I'm back! Where were we? I was up to three peanuts.

I'm fine, unless you... No, no. I'm OK.

I'm going to go to the bathroom. Turn right at the Buddha, honey.

I'm in a New York state of mind. New York state of mind?

I'm in the bath. It's time! I'm ovulating!

I'm just trying to... You are mortifying me.

I'm single, I don't deserve one. That's a postal drive by shooting.

I'm so sorry. I don't know what I did.

I'm sorry. Marilyn Monroe, get off the road!

I'm sorry. No, it's OK. Come in.

I'm starting to hit my limit. I know.

I'm sure you did. Let her finish.

I'm thinking about getting one. Why would you do that?

I'm thinking about quitting my job. Did you get a better offer?

I'm very happy for you. Thanks.

I've got to take a leak. I was going to go.

I've had hundreds. You miss one, along comes another.

If the guy's willing, why not? Anyone other than Samantha?

If you have something to say... I have nothing to say to you.

In the cab? What do you mean?

intelligence... A vagina.

Is he in there? Yes.

Is it hot in here or is it me? It isn't you.

Is it OK to talk to you about this? Go ahead. I'm OK.

It involved warm nuts. How about a coatroom?

It means I forgive you, please come. Nice try. Not going.

It was just a thought. Here's another.

It's 8:15. That's not a response!

It's a fertility exercise. I know a better one.

It's a label, like Gucci or Versace. Or Birkenstock.

It's after 12. You're late. Not really. I'm on London time.

It's blue. It's more fun than your old one.

It's emotional Russian roulette. You call and hang up?

It's just a matter of time. He's not having an affair.

It's just parties and social events. What do you do in your hotels?

It's me. What's the matter?

It's me. I'm sorry to wake you. That's OK.

It's OK by me. That table is bad.

It's the artist's favourite. Do you know her?

It's the best thing for a cold. I gave him some Nyquil.

It's the big boob bonanza issue. It's not that.

It's the TiVo of cancers. It's no big deal.

It's Thursday afternoon. Don't you have to work?

Jinx! You owe me a Coke. That's amazing.

Just a coffee and a muffin, please. That'll be $7.50.

Just a sec. Who is it?

Just trying to avoid the pity party. It was a cocktail party.

l, on the other hand, am on strike. What does that mean?

Lance Armstrong had it... Everybody's getting it.

Laying low or feeling low? No, I'm fine.

Let it go. It's all in the past. No, it's not in the past.

Let's fill this out. I'm not in the mood.

Let's fuck. How did you even get in?

Like them pulled? How do I know?

Like them pulled? How do I know?

Listen to this message she left me. I've got to go to bed.

LL Bean? No.

London is five hours ahead. In that case, I'm really late.

Look at that. You don't understand.

Look who's here! Congratulations!

Lotus. My last birthday party.

lsn't this adorable? lsn't it a wee bit small?

Maria has ten dicks. For the record, you started this.

Maria thinks I have intimacy issues. She's crazy!

Maybe I should have a chat with her? Let me.

Maybe I should keep looking. Here you go.

Maybe Ray is the one. Your clitoris thinks so.

Maybe she never got your... You don't get it.

Maybe. How many blocks?

Medium? I was thinking large.

Miranda, I'm so sorry. Thanks. I've got to go.

Miranda, you try them. That I'd like to see!

Morning, ma'am. Morning.

Mother does all our houses. I should have known.

My mom died. Oh, my God.

Neither would l. Me neither.

Never mind him. How did you do? I finished.

No! I went home. And you came back?

No. We're not even together any more. It doesn't sound like it.

Not for you, for her. No!

Not in front of George. Leave George out of it.

Now you're showing off. I'm asking for help!

Number 64! Yes! Hi. Thank God.

OK, let's give it a shot. Really?

On the Jersey Shore? Upstate New York. And pull!

Others don't respond to e mail. Aidan still hasn't replied?

People don't dress up any more. With waistcoats.

Pick up after your dog. He's not my dog.

Plaid and the mallards. You don't like them?

Please stop sending me those. It's funny!

Please tell me that you can fix this. We tried a few home remedies.

Poor Pete. Poor me!

Pork pie? I've got to go.

Right! Are you sure about that? Yes, I am.

Right. We... Fucked.

Samantha. Maria.

Saturday? We have plans for Saturday.

Seriously? All afternoon? Two, two and a half hours.

Seven should go on the north wall. It's better on the south.

Sex can be great without an orgasm. That is a crock of shit.

Shall I call her? No. Goodnight.

Shall we go to a movie? No!

She has a point. What's wrong with me?

She wants it to be special. Really?

She'd really like to hear from you. But what am I going to say?

She's a smoothie. We talked, had a few...

She's a supermodel. Super for you.

She's really something. How did you meet her?

Should I come? I'm a girl. No, sweetie.

Shouldn't I do that? I've done it since he was a child.

Shove this marriage up your ass! Charlotte, don't go.

Smells great! It's the cinnamon I add to...

So I suggest you back off. Can't we all just get along?

So now you want your cake? I never not wanted it.

so you can cruise a holy man. What street are we on?

So you don't want one? If you fell,

So you'll be back next weekend? Not next weekend, no.

So, you own this place? I do. And one uptown.

Some of us still have to work. I choose my choice!

Someone I actually like. Good!

Someone's crazy. I'm not kidding.

Something happened. Something bad?

Sometimes you just can't get there. I can always get there.

Somewhere over Chicago. Restaurant bathroom!

Sorry, this is... You're running low. Joey, Glenlivet

Sorry. Visiting's over.

Sounds good. Great. So I'll set it up?

Souvenir? I am never leaving this city again.

Step away from the computer. I'm going back.

Steve, you're kidding! That's... Scary, right?

Suit yourself. I have to go to sleep.

Sure you can. Here. You got your fingers all in it.

Tell him what you did. I hit Ctrl Alt Delete.

Thank you. No problem.

Thank your lucky stars. So what did you do this weekend?

Thanks. My other half, Hailey. Congratulations!

That he's still in love with me? Steve's got testicular cancer.

That was a little hard. That wasn't hard.

That was good. That was very good.

That weekend I was bored. Just a New Year's Eve kiss.

That would be great. I'll call my car.

That'll be 74.50. As in 74 dollars and 50 cents?

That's pretty much it. Why do that?

That's the "after". Could I see the "before" again?

That's the "before" picture. Sorry!

That's where you're from? Listen.

That's why I was trying to help. I know, but...

The machine picked up. What did you do?

The silence is deafening. You are in the country.

There are cabs outside. So we'll take a cab.

There is no way that I'm a 34B. Just try them.

There's no one to watch Pete. I'll watch Pete.

There's nothing I can do. There is. Come to the party!

There's only one ll Cantinori, right? Yes.

They all involved going up my ass. You had sex with Danny?

They come in a set like earrings. I'd be sitting at home depressed.

They're exquisite. I'm pleased you think so.

They're in the seven minute group. So I'm the cutest of the slow guys?

This is an emergency. At least close the door.

This is bullshit. That's what I think.

This is Mary Elizabeth. Hello, I'm Charlotte.

This is Sha. Sha?

To Aidan's? I know he's home.

Trey and I are trying to get pregnant. Great!

Trey and I made out in the movies. That is retro.

Trey, I'm on the mallard! What? Sorry.

Trish is amazed that anyone cooks. Three kids keep her busy.

Two. OK, nine. Honestly, I'm a little hurt.

Twosies! Look out!

Want some? No. All set, thanks.

Was that Aidan? Does he look better

Was that good or bad? That was very...

We can rearrange. It's fine.

We have three holes down there! Enough about your relationship

We haven't even had sex yet. You really are in a relationship.

We should train during the week. Are there runs then?

We slept together after our run. I guess he was interested.

We were the only single people. We're the only single people anywhere.

We're baking a pie here! You are. I'm just baking.

We're friends. How's that? What kind of friends?

We're in the country. On a Thursday?

Welcome. Come in. He is hot!

What about filters? Above the coffee maker!

What about the fajitas? Fuck the fajitas!

What about you guys? I'm not dating anyone.

What about you? First time.

What are those? Fake nipples!

What are we doing? What are we?

What are you doing here? I was in the neighbourhood.

What are you doing here? I'm taking you to the coffee shop.

What are you doing sitting here? Waiting for you.

What are you doing? I can't talk now.

What are you doing? Nothing. We're friends.

What are you doing? Toxic chemicals?

What can I do? Nothing. I'm fine.

What did you do last night, Carrie? I listened to jazz.

What do you call four? Foursies.

What do you mean? Now he'll think we're together.

What do you think? I like it, baby.

What do you want? What do you see in that guy?

What does he do out here? Push ups by the look of him.

What gift is that? A grandchild, my dear.

What is going on? What's up?

What is it? Steve Brady and...Aidan Shaw!

What is this late run? Doesn't translate.

What were you doing up there? What do you mean?

What were you thinking? I don't know.

What you doing back there? Just looking for something.

What? A strawberry shake, please.

What? At the restaurant. You..

What's happening to you? I'm getting an education!

What's next, Samantha? You've got to be kidding me.

What's Portuguese for "work at it"? Working it.

What's that pounding? Aidan's shooting hoops.

When are you coming back? Monday.

When did you get that? Today.

When I walked home from her hotel... You walked?

Where am I going? I don't know.

Where are you going? Home.

Where are you? The Frozen Cup in HoHoKus.

Where did you get that? I ran down to the Korean.

Where did you hear that? Around.

Where does one learn this skill? Jersey Shore.

Which hick town is it? It's too terrible and too ironic.

Who cares? Just enjoy it. I need to know where we're going.

Who do you all fantasise about? Russell Crowe.

Who do you fantasise about? No, it's private.

Who is it? It's Ray.

Who is this guy? Who's the woman?

Who was it? It was Batman.

Whose legs bend back that far? It's like sex for the boneless.

Why are we carrying them? They're a promotional thing.

Why are you calling him? I think I want him back.

Why won't you answer my e mail? Who is this?

Why would I go out with Steve? You're not.

Why? Shouldn't you wait a while?

Will we ever get our Mee Krob? Oh, I love that! It's their specialty.

Willow is fucking with my head. Please. All right.

Women can, men can't. You should go.

Won't play much sport. Not all boys have to play sports.

Would you like a drink whilst you wait? A Shirley Temple, please.

Would you like a massage? I would love one.

Yes, and I'm ignoring it. I'm not impressed with e mail.

Yes, ma'am. Don't hurt yourself. I'm not going to hurt myself.

Yet you had sex with him. Can we let Carrie talk about the sex?

You are not alone. No, I know I have you guys.

You can go. It's OK. I don't really have to go.

You can have them on the bottom? Top, bottom, upside down.

You can shop online! No, shopping is my cardio.

You can't smoke in the house. That's cool.

You didn't even call. Neither did you.

You do that? I make the courtesy call!

You don't have to run in the closet. I didn't run.

You don't know what you're doing. You're being very inappropriate.

You don't look like a 36A to me. Well, I am.

You don't want me at the funeral. I gave you my keys!

You exchanged keys? That's big. That's the opposite of Big.

You got another guy in here? No.

You got any bagels? Top of the fridge.

You got us a nice guy here. Shucks, ma'am!

You have a boner! You're so beautiful.

You hungry? No, because...

You just got back together. I can't wait!

You know all the right people. I got the "in" on the noodles.

You know Charlotte. Sure.

You know jazz? No.

You like the pork pie hat? That's not the point.

You lost? No!

You made notes? It helps me to be clear.

You OK? Fine. It's just mud.

You OK? I'm fine.

You play all those instruments? I learn a few notes,

You pull the balls? They like it. I went out with...

You remember Jessica? Yes, sure. Of course, yes.

You say that like it's either/or. Sorry for making you come over.

You should see someone about that. What the hell is going on?

You think I'm one of those women! One of what women?

You think I'm threatened by him? Not threatened.

You want me to get all soft again? I liked you all soft.

You want the last spring roll? No, that's yours.

You want to go for a walk? Yeah.

You were so judgmental yesterday. Excuse me?

You won't have to listen to me play. I'd like that.

You would? Sure.

You'll come? Next Saturday? We'd love to see you there.

You'll do it too hard! No.

You'll have to leave now. I'm sorry. I don't think so.

You'll have to sleep on the couch. Better not.

You're buying one of my paintings? You're buying my next manicure.

You're coming up there next week. I am?

You're keeping him company. I'm trying, but he's out hoeing.

You're my hero

You're on the other line? Yes, I am.

You're sure you're not overreacting? Yeah.

Your bass is going to be OK? It sleeps at the club all the time.

Your priest? Friar Fuck!

...jury duty. Unless...

...a man with no soul.

...a product of vegan diet discipline.

...and let the rest of the world fall away.

...and prove Miranda wrong.

...and the first time a man had peed in front of her.

...B A..

...from her daughter Betsy and her husband David,

...good.

...if you can learn to let him.

...is not the same as this.

...it felt really sad

...named after a tree!

...one dating service application.

...or anything.

...orgasm of my life and Samantha still managed to up sex me.

...Samantha caused the very elusive female ejaculation.

...Samantha.

...the most intense orgasm of my entire life.

...then cheerio, old chap.

...to here.

...to here...

...will you remarry me?

...with a woman.

...with cuter outfits.

"...that buys a lot of my art."

"36 Hours And Still No Response From Aidan."

"and then we had everything. Love, Mommy and Daddy."

"but if you have unspecial friends, give them my number."

"Career objectives: to own my own gallery."

"Dear single". You don't even have a name?

"Do you miss me?"

"Do you think you love him?"

"Don't let your soul mate slip away."

"Emotional" is code for "l don't want to hire a woman."

"Grab my big balls. Lick them, pull them."

"Hi, this is my lesbian lover. PS, I'm done with dick?"

"How long do we want it to be just the two of us?"

"l love you. I'm here for you." That's enough ribbon!

"l miss you."

"Oh yeah, baby, that's it.

"Two souls, one thought". That is sappy, totally not like Danny.

"We can have kids or gorgeous fabric without chocolate stains."

"We had each other, and then we had you,

"We have him, but hurry because he's slipping... There he goes."

"Wife, mother and part time bowl glazer."

"You look great" was not one of the things I told you to say.

"You're in my thoughts. May she rest in peace..."

"You're too emotional."