The Office (2005) - Season 9 Edit

A bazooka.

A bear hug from my favorite mama grizzly.

A ceremonial bridal kidnapping.

A check for a million dollars

A good assistant knows what their superior is thinking

A guy is in your life for 11 years,

A horse.

A kind of "where are they now" panel at a local theater.

A little warm.

A lot of them are the same people because we're third cousins,

A loyal but bungling apostle.

A mini golf pencil that you threw at me.

Aah! Aah! [Bell dings]

Aah! It burns! Aah!

About quantities and types of copier paper.

About the documentary was

About this three month road show thing.

About two months.

After 16 years, it's strange sitting across from somebody who isn't Stanley.

After a few episodes, it was too painful.

After Dwight fired me, I moved to New York...

After my clip blew up, I actually got a call

After which our judges will decide

Ah, I know. It just feels so empty with...

Ah, I've been looking forward to this day since I was 18 years old.

Ah, it warms my heart. Hey, what do you say,

Ah. All right! Oh, Mose!

Aha!

Airing of the documentary. Who's excited?

AKA Google.

All day long, it's moo the cows and cluck the hens.

All depends on the conference room meeting itself. [Musical ringtone]

All good, though.

All I can say is, if I had Jim,

All I know is that

All of us.

All right, Jim, your quarterlies look very good.

All right, that's great. I got enough. Thank you, everybody.

All right, then.

All right, you know, you don't have to leave the door wide open.

All right. Bye, buddy. Bye, bye, bye.

All right. Well, let me show you how it's done.

All you gotta do is risk your life for this country and everyone goes Gaga for you.

All: Ohh... Here we go!

All: ♪ if you want your bride, buy us a drink ♪

All: Aww

All: Aww.

All: Aww.

All: Nard Dog!

All: Oh, I can so just sit here and cry.

All: Oh!

All: Ohh!

All: Ooh!

All: Roo doo doo doo doo!

All: Stanley!

Also killed it in local theater,

Also, how do cameras work?

Am I the only one that's nervous? Heh heh.

Amazing gift

Amazing job.

Amazing job.

America's Next A Cappella Sensation aired my audition.

An assistant brings their boss coffee with speed and dexterity,

An enormous farm, an inheritance,

And act fast, because life just isn't that long."

And charged their televisions

And Dwight is imitating Japanese business practices

And fear and doubt.

And go ahead!

And go ahead.

And grow up.

And he eats the same kind of paper I do.

And he was talking about the trip,

And her legs are still numb from being in the trunk.

And how much I really do believe in your future.

And how we made each other laugh and how we got through the day?

And I am fresh off of a hot industrial flick.

And I am nothing if not a total pitch bitch.

And I could come to you with this

And I decided to paint the history of paper,

And I did unspeakable things with Carla Fern.

And I don't care that Phillip's not my son!

And I had to start from the beginning.

And I have a room, which is really cool.

And I have chosen one of the best.

And I just feel like you're giving up so much.

And I know, for over 12 years, I've done nothing but trick and prank him.

And I think that maybe I did doubt him a little too.

And I thought I unfriended you.

And I'd stamp my foot and run upstairs.

And I'll meet you at Poor Richard's in an hour.

And I'm just a kindly old fellow with a song in my heart.

And I'm still just thinking about my old pals.

And I'm sure that you guys are fine too.

And if he is,

And in the morning there's mini reunion.

And it took me four years to get to him.

And Jim can jump back in without skipping a beat.

And just see what we get.

And my attempts to find love in all the wrong places.

And now it's better than a fairy tale.

And office administrator Pamela Beesly Halpert

And one day, she went out to get a new charger for her e cigarette.

And one old.

And organization, time management, personal hygiene.

And our next and most thickly frosted cake is...

And ruin our no nonsense streak, all right?

And sang I Dreamed a Dream from Les Mis?

And show you all at once just how much I love you,

And stole weapons grade LSD from the military.

And tell us about your heartiest soups.

And thank you for your patience. And we hope to see you guys

And that's an

And that's on me.

And that's what you did with this documentary.

And the city is amazing.

And the doc crew paid to fly us in.

And the late night comedy guys had a field day with it.

And the right to be raised under rigorous Schrute traditions.

And the tacos are... [Cell phone chimes]

And the voice of the turtle dove

And then he's gone for who knows how long.

And then she would say, "go to your room, young lady."

And then someone spray painted a bunch of butts on it,

And then the parodies started.

And then they married each other.

And then we'd just have dinner together.

And this is for you, Jim.

And time to become the next American idol

And viewers like you.

And we decided we're gonna be best friends.

And welcome to America's Next A Cappella Sensation!

And what percentage of nonsense do we tolerate in this office?

And when I find the place, I have to buy everyone drinks.

And when I started sobbing uncontrollably,

And yet, the manager for Dunder Mifflin kneels for no man.

And you couldn't once show me doing my origami.

And you had to give something up for me.

And you obviously don't need me.

And you're fine with that, because

And you've been great, and...

And your face is comely."

And, uh, oh, yeah, it's good for the environment too.

And, um, I think we'd all love to know,

Andy, I've been worried about you.

Andy.

Angela Schrute, my former accountant, is now my wife.

Angela, someone wants you.

Angela's been kidnapped!

Angela's divorce from the senator

Angela's special repair man is here.

Any ordinary child would have taken the money,

Anyone can follow a Twitter feed.

Anyone who needs to speak to me

Anything.

Anytime anyone's ever been fired,

Apparently my station in life has descended to a depth even they won't forgive.

Apparently that struck a chord with quite a lot of people.

Are you gonna come to Poor Richard's and watch with us tonight?

Are you happy?

Are you insane? It's the Cornell fight song.

Are you kidding?

Are you ready for the wedding?

Are you sure Mose isn't going to show up?

Are you sure you don't wanna go in?

Are you sure you don't want me to drop him off?

As a reminder that this is the only escape

As is traditional to the Schrutes,

As long as I can get to the altar.

As was Kevin, I believe.

As you know, I like to begin each day with an inspirational quote.

At the end of the day,

Austin?

Aw, come on, Baby Wawa. Don't be such a baby.

Aw, thanks, man.

Aw.

Aw.

Bartender!

Based... on his merit.

Be compensated with a marriage proposal.

Be gentle, Jakey, gentle.

Beautiful little boy the way he deserves.

Because I think that I've painted the perfect thing,

Because you wanted to marry me.

Because you're about to leave Cornell.

Become a father.

Beet.

Before they even think it.

Before you've actually left them.

Behind every great regional manager is a great assistant to the regional manager,

Being less happy than I could've been.

Best prank ever.

Better get some decent speakers up here then,

Big Jim gesture...

Boring...

Both: Say that?

Both: Uncanny.

Bottom drawer

Break it down for me.

Break protocol! Break protocol! Break protocol!

Busted.

But

But all in all...

But an assistant to the assistant

But don't worry,

But having Kevin grind up on my front

But he seems happy.

But he's not.

But how would King Arthur choose the next knight of his round table?

But I actually feel sorry for you

But I also feel a little guilty.

But I don't know. I'd have to meet her.

But I know exactly what you were gonna say.

But I never want you to have to give up anything.

But I think I ate too much bone marrow. [Phone ringing]

But I'm just I was talking to Darryl,

But I'm not gonna spend the rest of the day here

But I'm out, because I'm significantly younger than you.

But if you see it

But if you're ever in the area, you'll always have a place to stay.

But it all worked out for the best,

But it's doable.

But not like hate hate.

But not that table or that table or that table.

But note, all are welcome, not just those

But now all my friends call me Plop.

But once he starts buying you things,

But seriously, you made a nine year documentary,

But thanks for coming out and please be sure

But that's for fueling only.

But that's not all. Now the chef special sounded good.

But then it got deeper, and it got stronger,

But there were a lot of times last year when it did not feel like a fairy tale.

But there's a documentary coming up. Everyone in the bar will love it.

But tonight...

But what about the assistant assistant to the regional manager?

But when the documentary started airing, people on the street told me

But you're no ordinary child, are you?

But, hey, it was college.

But, okay, here, here you go.

But, uh, I don't know. I'm working on something.

But..

But...

But... [Crying]

By 2:00, Dwight will choose himself

By winning America's Next A Cappella Sensation

By working an extra half an hour tomorrow

Bye bye, Toby.

Bye, Kev!

Bye.

Call Child Services and report an abandoned baby.

Came by fan boat, which was kinda fun.

Can you clap for mom?

Can you imagine if I had worn my Jimmy Choos?

Can you imagine if Martin Luther King were here

Can you put that down?

Can't hear you.

Can't wait to see everyone.

Challenge number two, protocol.

Change and

Check...

Clay Aiken, Santigold, Aaron Rodgers.

Close.

Colder.

Colorful, durable blankets and rugs. It all adds up.

Come here.

Complimentary hay hooks are placed along the aisles.

Conquer your fears.

Cool.

Cool. Are you coming back to say hi?

D, it's gonna be perfect.

Darryl, oh, my gosh. How is Austin?

Darryl, you know, I would love to just record some of your stories,

Darryl!

Darryl? Darryl!

Daycare won't take Phillip anymore.

Delivered all my furniture to Philly.

Depending on traffic.

Did I get that number right, Dwight?

Did we ever get loaded and listen to Zeppelin in my van?

Did we ever have lunch together, just

Did you manage to feed him? I don't know what it is.

Do I get along with my co workers?

Do you even have a mattress?

Do you find that your life feels pointless

Do you have those? Those aren't deep fried, right?

Do you think any of them out there are capable?

Do you want a corn dog?

Do you want to see a video of a weatherman who says "bold front"

Does anyone wanna split a twice baked potato?

Doesn't seem like anyone cares about us anyway.

Doing carnival like activities.

Doing stuff with you 'cause you're feeling sentimental.

Don't be an idiot. It's for the severance.

Don't forget, Irish step dancing semifinals.

Door. Chair.

Drake has a bit of a rash

Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

During an all you can eat shrimp commercial

During that time, the police say,

Dwight has made me his bestisch mensch.

Dwight you can't do that.

Dwight, Dwight, Dwight.

Dwight, for the last time, she's not a waitress.

Dwight, I'm telling you about all the things

Dwight, listen, no matter what happens,

Dwight, what the fuck is your problem?

Dwight?

Dwight?

Dwight...

Dwight... [Overlapping objections]

Each of you will sing a song for 30 seconds,

Engaged to be married to an actual milkmaid.

Enjoy, enjoy.

Erin...

Erin...

Erin...

Even if I didn't love every minute of it,

Ever since Angela moved in and Mose had stopped sleeping at the foot of my bed,

Every day when I came into work, all I wanted to do was leave.

Every instinct,

Every morning, I email the day's security codes.

Every rational calculation.

Every time I've been faced with a tough decision,

Everybody.

Everyone watching

Everyone, let's take our picture in front of the mural.

Everything I have,

Everything you'll ever need to know

Everything.

Ew, the exact opposite, actually.

Exactly.

Failure of any kind is failure."

Fantastic. He just pulled off a braut entfuhrung.

Floor's up for grabs. Meredith has been hogging the can.

For being here on this wonderful panel today.

For lo, the winter is passed.

For reasons he explained to us in Japanese.

For the bestisch mensch to be older than the groom.

For the position of assistant to the assistant to the regional manager.

For Weekend Update, I'm Seth Meyers. That's Baby Wawa. Good night.

For your voice is sweet,

For...

Forget I said it, all right?

From New York.

From not communicating to being a little selfish.

From the double rainbow guy and the fat Star Wars kid.

From the guys at the warehouse I didn't say good bye to.

From what they are about to do.

Gabriella was our last audition.

Get off. Don't you dare. Don't get I could see it.

Get out!

Get outta my way.

Get upstairs, mister!

Give 'em a good show, my little entrepreneur.

Go ahead and just read the frosting.

Go ahead and read that phone message.

Go ahead.

Go get 'em, honey.

Go, Meredith's stripper son.

Go.

God! Besides, the whole thing is a trick question.

Good abbreviating, Jim. That saved some time.

Good bye, everybody.

Good call.

Good man right there.

Good old Mose. [Laughing]

Got it. Yes, all right.

Gotta write that down.

Grab both these coffees, double fist it,

Great. More screen time for the war vet.

Guten prank number three.

Guten prank number two.

Happy, and, like, you had fun today.

Has a thousand times more to prove,

Has been very difficult for her.

Has got to go through me first, all right?

Have I gotten along with my subordinates?

Haven't been in one of these in forever!

He can tell when he's being tricked out of the experience

He could do anything

He does have a gift.

He doesn't know where I hid his duck.

He is lazy, so crack the whip.

He just keeps spitting out the nipple.

He just won't go down.

He sold drugs and trafficked in endangered species meat

He told Dwight,

He used to call it a keleven.

He was home by 4:45 that day.

He welcomes you.

He will take the bride and hide her at a local pub.

He would have a free pass to do anything

He'll be fine. I let him suck on a strawberry

He'll get there.

He'll just get you on his cell phone, and then that'll go viral.

He's a little standoffish at first.

He's allergic, but he'll get over it fast. I had to talk to you.

He's been acting pretty weird about this whole wedding thing.

He's just so happy to have a family plan.

He's not that smart.

He's not your son.

He's putting himself entirely in my hands tonight.

He's the best in the biz.

Heard you guys needed some pipes fixed, or cleaned or whatever.

Hello!

Her family admires me. My family tolerates hers.

Here we go.

Here you are, sir! Here's your coffee!

Here's your cake.

Hey o.

Hey, and if you're ever in Austin

Hey, come here. You guys need to see this.

Hey, Darryl.

Hey, did somebody order the chef special?

Hey, driver, why don't you take us to 3030 Adams?

Hey, dude, leave him alone. What are you doing?

Hey, good seeing you.

Hey, grab a seat.

Hey, has anyone seen Ryan... or Kelly?

Hey, hey, hey. I'll do one thing with y'all.

Hey, how was the singing show audition?

Hey, I know you. You gonna sit here and cry?

Hey, is Angela coming, or

Hey, it's Andy Bernard.

Hey, Jim, remember Flonkerton when you did Office Olympics?

Hey, keep it down, though.

Hey, Kev, how you doing, buddy?

Hey, man, good to see you.

Hey, man, how you doing? I, um

Hey, Pam! How are you?

Hey, Pam. What?

Hey, what's going on over here,

Hey, what's up, y'all?

Hey, what's up?

Hey, you want me to take the little diaper blaster?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. You wanted to see me?

Hey...

Hi, baby.

Hi, boys!

Hi, buddy.

Hi.

Hi. Good morning.

Hi. I'm Dakota

High five.

His last album, it just touched me to pieces

Hmm.

How are things going at the library?

How are you doing with this? Should we have bailed?

How are you?

How did it feel to see your lives played out on TV?

How did you capture what it was really like?

How did you do it?

How did you do it?

How did you know my plane had arrived?

How did you know that I was gonna...

How does it feel being ignored?

How long have you been stalking me?

How many people want the game?

How thoughtful.

How we felt

How your meeting with Yuri big nose went."

Human beings have this miraculous gift

I almost lost Pam over this business.

I always liked Devon.

I am going in there. Don't

I am gonna drop Phillip off at my mother's,

I am here for my bride! [Giggles]

I am in a meeting with Dwight, Robert Dunder, and his niece.

I am so at peace.

I am toast.

I applied for a job at this company because they were hiring.

I bet you boys have a big appetite.

I bike to work now.

I brought in some new faces,

I can show you my social security card, if it helps.

I can tell by your gorgeous,

I can't be there for you.

I can't believe the doc is finally going to air.

I can't believe you came.

I could really use a little break, have some water.

I didn't call 'cause I figured you changed the number.

I didn't realize we were this close.

I didn't think you were gonna get that one.

I didn't watch the whole documentary.

I don't I don't know why.

I don't care. Choose amongst yourselves.

I don't know how else to explain it to her, so...

I don't know how to tell you this, but...

I don't know what you want me to tell you, man.

I don't know, but I'm getting really worried here.

I don't know, Ryan. Baby Drake didn't look so good

I don't want to get her hopes up.

I feel like I read about Athlead all the time.

I feel scared a little.

I finally mastered commitment.

I got hated on pretty hard when that auto tune went viral.

I got my dream job at Cornell,

I got these doors from a jewelry store that had recently gone out of business.

I guess that's the show.

I guess this was worth being filmed nonstop for nine years.

I had to pledge $50 to my local PBS station just to get this.

I hate good byes, so last week,

I hate Phillip.

I have a question for Erin.

I have a question for Jim and Pam.

I have an assistant now who can help you with whatever you need.

I have six roommates. Heh.

I have subordinates

I haven't seen Kevin since we let him go.

I hear ya. What did it say?

I heard that.

I heard you bought a bar, Kevin.

I hired him back after Creed faked his own death

I hope he doesn't regret it.

I invited her to move in with me.

I just I know that you had to make this choice,

I just I think I would rather keep that private.

I just feel lucky that I got a chance to share

I just have to remember how I acted before I came out.

I just hope that if my buddies who are still in Afghanistan

I just needed you to want to marry me

I just saved you 600 bucks, mister.

I just thought if I could get us an offer,

I just...

I keep seeing this symbol in the accounts from last year.

I kept wanting to scream at Pam.

I know Dwight misses Kevin.

I know, earlier today he tried to eat

I know.

I like the sound of that.

I love goofy Jim.

I love it. And it's Athleap now.

I love Star Wars as much as the next guy... Hey, hey.

I love your fudge.

I mean, he's certainly been goofing around a lot.

I mean, he's giving up this big thing for me.

I mean, I can find someone who will who will love that... [Baby cooing]

I mean, I would just imagine that you were so angry at her

I mean, if I lucked into that,

I mean, the seniors invited me as a joke, but it was a huge success.

I mean, unless they're willing to pass some tests.

I mean, when are we all going to be here together again?

I mean, you were gonna do this without me?

I missed you too.

I missed you, Kevin.

I missed you.

I need everybody to be ready 'cause I want to pack in a lot.

I need you to perform a test.

I need you.

I needed a little help.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

I owe to this job.

I promise you...

I pulled the old "Irish Exit."

I said no, and that's final.

I saw him making his portrait out of a Wooly Willy.

I sell ceramic tile out of Newark.

I sit on my porch all day, carving birds.

I sold paper this company for 12 years.

I spent so much of my time here at Dunder Mifflin

I spoke at Cornell during Commencement Week.

I still have my medal from that.

I think an ordinary paper company like Dunder Mifflin

I think I gained a couple pounds since I got here.

I think I have found an enormous source

I think she looks good.

I think you always have.

I think you might want to kneel for this.

I think your ideas are fantastic, Oscar

I thought it was weird when you

I thought you guys couldn't come.

I took a desk at the back because it was empty.

I wanna know how everyone felt they were portrayed.

I wanted to leave quietly. It seemed dignified.

I was born ready.

I was getting my PhD in school psychology, and they didn't show it.

I was just, um, checking out my present.

I was scared,

I was still having sex with women.

I was thinking of proposing to Esther today.

I was wondering, could you maybe examine him for a second?

I went to the bathroom on my boss's car.

I will go watch an eHow video on how to use excel,

I will literally call child protective services.

I will raise 100 children with 100 of your lovers

I will.

I will.

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days

I worked for a paper company all these years, and I never wrote anything down.

I'd better come out of this smelling like a rose.

I'd have to get some more wire and string,

I'd like to get harmful steam, but the prices are absurd!

I'd love to contribute to your campaign.

I'd say I have gotten along with my subordinates.

I'll be right back.

I'll go talk to the manager. Maybe we should just go home.

I'll see you guys inside. Good luck, all right?

I'm a dad! You're a dad!

I'm a man.

I'm about to eat free steak with my sports heroes

I'm Casey Dean!

I'm doing it for us.

I'm feeling a little dehydrated.

I'm getting married tomorrow afternoon.

I'm giving you the silence treatment.

I'm gonna miss these guys.

I'm gonna need a favor from you guys.

I'm gonna need you to look at your hierarchy mobile.

I'm happy that this was all filmed,

I'm in love with you.

I'm letting you all off half an hour early

I'm looking forward to the reunion panel tomorrow.

I'm moving the ink down in my pen, for work.

I'm not risking that again.

I'm not supposed to

I'm not touching you. Okay.

I'm so sorry. They were an hour late.

I'm sorry, guys. This is probably on me.

I'm sorry, is there a question?

I'm sorry.

I'm...

I've been on my best behavior for nine years.

I've just always been really good at dancing.

If he is your son,

If it means I can be with you!

If it wasn't for the cameras, I would've done some truly vulgar crap.

If my parents see this,

If Ryan wants his baby back, please tell him where to find me.

If someone out there saw this and she said to herself,

If there is one thing that I have learned

If they want you in their a cappella group.

If you film anybody long enough,

If you find my body in a ditch,

If you say so.

If you want her to leave, just tip her.

Imagine going back and watching a tape of your life.

In 32 different cities.

In my barn

In the baler the day after the doc aired.

In the past year I've consolidated the entire Scranton paper market

In the right way

Instead of "cold front"?

Ironic that now it's Angela who's living in the closet.

Is a big step up from living in a gay man's closet.

Is a more accurate tribute to my years here.

Is heard in our land.

Is in that note.

Is it me?

Is it Nellie?

Is my best friend.

Is precisely the way I look at the Galactica.

Is that a volunteer program or...

Is that all it was?

Is that really what you think?

Is the only person I know who knows how to properly head bang to Motörhead.

Is this a show about the resiliency of the human spirit

Is this what you're saying, grasshopper?

Is...

Isn't that kind of the point?

Isn't this, like, what you live for?

It all seems so very arbitrary.

It might be the most logical thing I've ever said.

It might surprise you to learn

It took me so long to do so many important things.

It was kismet.

It was made from a bullet I took out of her left buttock.

It was nothing personal.

It would just

It'd be great if people saw this documentary and learned from my mistakes.

It'll be a pledge gift.

It'll be nice to see everyone again.

It's a really cool show. It's like a total reinvention

It's a start.

It's all about Phillip.

It's as if he's excited by all this paper.

It's because I spent three hours in a car trunk.

It's called "Schrute or Consequences."

It's Drake, like a mix of Drew and Blake.

It's every parent's dream.

It's gonna be all right.

It's gonna be all right.

It's his magic number. He used to use it to balance his accounts.

It's in my juke box.

It's insane.

It's It's all over the place. I don't know what it means.

It's just hard to accept that I spent so many years

It's just harmless steam to panic intruders.

It's just his way of saying;

It's just that I'm so emotional.

It's just that you were terrible at your job.

It's just the wind, see? Nothing.

It's kinda disgusting.

It's like a long book that you never want to end.

It's like seeing a documentary about how your food is made.

It's me.

It's me.

It's not much

It's not the KGB, but

It's only 6:00.

It's only 6:00.

It's only human natural.

It's the only way you'll learn. Okay

J, P, and D. The three amigos.

Jeff Bomondo

Jim Halpert doesn't work here anymore.

Jim is happy here, selling paper at Dunder Mifflin?

Jim was 5 feet from my desk,

Jim, I need my assistant to the regional manager, code red.

Jim, I'm not kidding.

Jim, it's fine.

Jim, this is gonna come as no surprise,

Jim.

Just a couple dozen more.

Just a second. Just one second. Look.

Just come and shut oh! My God!

Just go after what you want.

Just let the tape roll for six or eight or ten hours,

Just make my heart soar

Just on the edge of the Everglades.

Just slipped out with making a big deal.

Just stab 'em on in there.

Just the two of us?

Kelly was hoping that you would keep the baby,

Kelly.

Kevin, could you not do that?

Kevin, Kevin.

Kismet? Yeah, right.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for coming

Last week, I finally became permanent Manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton!

Let me save the police some trouble.

Let me see your face. Let me hear your voice.

Let's do this.

Let's do this. Change if you need to.

Let's get a beer sometime.

Let's see

Let's thank all of our wonderful panelists

Like a piece of paper

Like Harry Potter.

Like, three years ago. You saved this?

Listen to me! I love you!

Listen, all right, thank you very much. We're not interested.

Listen, guys, we can do it all.

Listen, listen. Shh, buddy.

Listen, um...

Little town called Florida City,

Look at Meredith.

Look at this mud.

Look inside.

Look, man, you're not terrible but we've heard a lot

Look, you gotta go.

Lots of people think that Stanley Hudson's a mean old grump.

Love.

Make mistakes...

Mama.

Mama.

Man, you can tell he likes you.

Manager of Dunder Mifflin. Check!

Maybe forever. Anyhow

Maybe sometimes.

Maybe you should call back.

Maybe.

Me too.

Me.

Me.

Meeting athletes on their home turf, building relationships.

Melted in a foundry run by mennonites.

Members of the office, hear ye.

Meredith, what number am I thinking of right now?

Michael has so many pictures of his kids, he had to get two phones

Mm, I know what you want. I know exactly what you want.

Mm. Mmm.

Mom?

Money or the beet?

More just like,

Mose has been weird?

Mose! What...

Move to the side of the road!

My bad.

My college a cappella group.

My crummy story with anyone out there who thinks they're the only one

My first project: Increase security.

My God, I'm so sorry.

My heart is so open.

My job was to speak to clients on the phone

My supplier relations rep, Meredith Palmer,

My top salesman Jim Halpert was best man at my wedding.

My wife did it.

Nah, I call one hour van time with Darryl.

Name is Andrew Bernard.

Neither do I.

Never came back.

New agenda item.

Next week at the Scranton Cultural Center,

No big deal.

No feelings at all.

No hard feelings.

No matter how you get there or where you end up,

No offense.

No one is ready for this. You can't be ready for this.

No,

No, but I still have my medal from that.

No, don't say it

No, Dwight.

No, I didn't change the number.

No, I know that you're, like,

No, Kelly, he's not named after a hip hop artist from 2011.

No, my heels aren't too high.

No, no, I'm fine.

No, no, no, I'm wearing makeup.

No, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no. Just do your work. Pretend mom's not here.

No, no, no. It's okay.

No, no. I'm not here, actually.

No, really. You were terrible at math...

No, thank you.

No, this is my big sister Angela.

No, this little guy is mine.

No, we haven't ordered anything. No one's even taken our drinks.

No, you're a middle aged man with a lot of makeup on.

No!

No.

No.

No. Give me the steam.

No. It's a job.

No. We can't see each other on our wedding day.

Nobody knows I'm here.

None of the money goes to Andy, though.

None of these people are good enough.

Nonsense.

Nope, not a prank.

Not "enough" for me?

Not a very compassionate chord.

Not as good as you.

Not enough?

Not interested.

Not now, Kevin. Can't you see we're busy?

Not now! Private time!

Not really my scene.

Not supposed to say that. All right. No mole.

Not that I'm a tragic person. I'm really happy now.

Not the van though.

Now get out!

Now that nobody's actually filming you anymore?

Now that she's wearing sports bras, we don't see her boobs as much.

Now they're protecting America's real treasure Paper!

Now, each group will start with 90 singers

Now, for the last time, I'd like a side salad with balsamic.

Now, hurry up. Shut the door.

Now, I'm exactly where I wanna be.

Now, just to give you a couple parameters of the show,

Now, please take your hay bales to the reception.

Now.

O kay.

Obviously, the assistant to the regional manager.

Of overlooked PFN.

Of really good singers today, and you're just not good enough.

Of the whole American Idol/Voice/Sing Off phenomenon.

Oftentimes, in Hollywood portrayals of bachelor parties,

Oh,

Oh, and look out for that pesky mole!

Oh, and the old man to feed us the cheese

Oh, boy, maybe your heels are too high

Oh, come on.

Oh, don't worry. They'll get got.

Oh, don't.

Oh, God, nice.

Oh, great, he's getting into the spirit of the festivities.

Oh, guys. Limo's here.

Oh, hey, Jim, I forgot to mention.

Oh, I can help you with that. Yeah.

Oh, I can so just sit here and cry!

Oh, I can so just sit here and cry!

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I don't know. I might turn in early.

Oh, I live in Poland now...

Oh, I told you. I couldn't close it, so

Oh, I'm gonna get you to that altar.

Oh, I'm saving a fortune on dry cleaning.

Oh, I'm sorry, Pam.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, it's the girls.

Oh, man, never thought I'd say this,

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! It was the theme song to Boy Meets World.

Oh, my God! You're gorgeous!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, no, no, no. My plane just got in.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. What?

Oh, oh, I'm sure we did.

Oh, over at the porta potties,

Oh, thank God. We are famished!

Oh, that's it. Here.

Oh, the honeymoon can wait till tomorrow.

Oh, um, I just I kind of meant just everybody from the office.

Oh, um, well, you know, I

Oh, we do.

Oh, wowee wow.

Oh, yeah, you're not feeling well, little guy?

Oh, yes, it is!

Oh, yes!

Oh, you know my name.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! No, no, no.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Bodes well for the post conference room meeting.

Oh. Eh, whatever.

Oh...

Ohh, Mose.

Oink the pigs, that is very important.

Oink the pigs.

Okay, all right, well, here's the song.

Okay, big day today.

Okay, from now on,

Okay, I don't have my pocket code chart on me right now, so...

Okay, I guess, it's just that Phillip got you something.

Okay, I made the mistake of sneaking out of here,

Okay, I need a drink.

Okay, I've got my

Okay, if anything, this is rougher!

Okay, the limo's gonna be here at 5:00.

Okay, um,

Okay, what are you doing? Are you giving me a taste of the chef special?

Okay!

Okay? That's nonsense.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. 30 seconds to show time.

Okay. Coming.

Okay. Thanks.

Okay. Um,

Okay. Yes. Yes, I will!

Okay. You got it, man.

Oldest story in the book.

On channel TBD.

On that later today.

On this show, all three judges are mean.

Once upon a time, we were natural enemies, but we've overcome our differences,

One from the Philippines got 12 million hits.

One thing that will make you give up on everything you thought you knew.

One thing we do know. Nothing will ever be the same.

Only good surprises.

Only now they're the ones I made here.

Ooh, I like where this is going.

Ooh! Announcement.

Ooh! Yes.

Ooh.

Oops.

Or I meant you won't be seeing the last of me!

Or a minute extra for the rest of the month.

Or is it a show about singing?

Or this dirty old beet.

Oscar Martinez, my accountant, is now godfather to my son.

Oscar.

Oscar.

Over the course of this documentary, I've had three affairs.

Ow! My skin! Ow! Ow!

Owner of a 1,600 acre beet farm. Check!

Pam and I are great.

Pam and I came up with excuses for every other weekend.

Pam can attest, there's no one better at getting brats to shut their yaps.

Pam, what romantic thing did you do to pay Jim back for leaving Athlead?

Pam, what was in that teapot letter?

Partytime whorehouse.

PBS

People actually dance to this.

People love it.

Pfft. Nobody buys DVDs anymore.

Phillip needs his apple snacks.

Phillip will be joining us at the office today.

Phillip, Phillip, Phillip.

Phillip, you wanna play a little game?

Phillip's your son.

Phone never rings.

Phyllis left the door open and some freak came and grabbed her and fled.

Phyllis, seriously?

Picked the wrong day to return a truck.

Picked us to make a documentary.

Please don't yell out,

Please take an agenda item.

Plop, what animal am I picturing?

Plus her dowry contains a walk in freezer

Pour some Sugar Ray on me!

Preconference room meeting with Dwight went really well.

Private room.

Pull over!

Put there by the Gangster Patriarch of the Coors Dynasty,

Quit my job, burned all my bridges.

Ravi is a pediatrician. And some of his patients are total uggos.

Ravi, just do it. That baby is burning up.

Ravi?

Ravi?

Really wish there was something I could do.

Release the doves!

Remember, I was never here.

Right in the sweet spot. I think you're gonna be really happy.

Right.

Roo doo doo doo doo!

Roo doo doo doo doo!

Roo doo doo doo doo!

Roo doo doo doo doo!

Roo doo doo doo!

Run! Run for your life!

Saddle shoes with denim? [Laughs]

Sales form for you to sign.

Same question, but about your dad?

Saves on gas, cheaper than a vasectomy,

Say "hi," Drake.

See me win, they'll feel like anything is possible.

See, I get what they're trying to do, but why are the graves so shallow?

See, now you don't owe me anything.

Sees how much you love each other and how you're soul mates.

Seriously, Kevin.

Seriously?

She doesn't know I'm living with a straight woman.

She just recently finished her mural for the Irish Cultural Center.

She pays me back every day, just by being my wife.

She was a moonshiner shot by Adolph Coors.

She's disgusting.

She's got a ton of great qualities.

She's through the green, everybody.

She's young, she's beautiful. Genes so pure you could lick them.

Shut up. Jakey?

Sir, please.

Slept in my car last night.

Smart baby.

Smiles, everybody, smiles.

So a year ago, I got my first art commission

So how about the last pub you'd ever set foot in in this town?

So I can remember everyone and what we did.

So I gotta give you the steam.

So I thought I could sell it without telling you.

So I wanna know where in the name of horsey sauce is it?

So I was dating this girl,

So I'm going to the bachelor party with the boys.

So I'm gonna have to hand this off to my number two.

So it's someone else's turn now.

So many of the old gang gone.

So my question is, um, do don't you hate her?

So romantic

So say it with me.

So that's fine.

So they can start a new life together.

So we'll have an onion loaf for the table, please.

So what is the problem?

So why in the world does it feel so hard to leave right now?

So, for instance, if you're expecting a fax today,

So, hi.

So, I'm going upstairs.

So, me and Phillip were just talking

So, Pam, how could you doubt that when Jim moved to Philadelphia?

So, you've come to the master for guidance?

So..

So...

So...

So...

Some of the 24 weight letter bond.

Some of us whose televisions got broken

Some sort of singing competition for the young'uns?

Some sort of virus?

Someone screams out, "nice jugs!"

Someone should write a song about that.

Someone to whisper in the ear of the consigliore.

Something that's been really missing from my life has been writing secret codes.

Sorry, folks, the judges are totally swamped.

Sorry, how long have you been showing the house?

Sorry, Phyllis. You didn't know

Sorry. A tie means I do nothing.

Spouses can read each other's minds. You're trying to give your wife this job.

Stanley, as you know, is retiring.

Stanley's sleeping. You don't want to wake up the grumpy old walrus, do you?

Stripper's only as good as his song.

Such a cliche.

Sure, every participant will be getting a corn dog,

Taken from the buttocks of my grandmother,

Tastes like cigarettes.

Tell me everything. How's the merger?

Tell Phillip that his stupid little baby wish came true.

Thank you for flying me out here for the weekend.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, David.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Yeah.

Thanks for not locking the door when I asked you to, Phyllis.

Thanks, dad Darryl.

Thanks, Dwight.

Thanks, PBS. [Laughter]

Thanks.

That child needs to be accorded what is his.

That doesn't sound crazy, Jim.

That he's been fermenting since the day of my birth.

That I had this fairy tale romance

That is all. Have a good morning.

That is an amazing name. I'm obsessed with Drake.

That ma said after the horse kicked her in the head.

That means ye, Plop.

That sounds incredible.

That that boy may be a Schrute.

That was a really cool move.

That was interesting.

That was so much fun.

That won't be necessary tonight.

That won't work.

That you would hate her.

That's

That's a great plan.

That's Baby Wawa, right? Oh, my God!

That's because this baby is of superior intelligence.

That's exactly what I was doing.

That's how I got my new job in the admissions office.

That's incredible. Is this the boggle timer?

That's it.

That's Kevin.

That's no good.

That's obviously nonsense.

That's six "wells."

That's so unlike him.

That's the Max.

That's the most flavorful bond.

That's the reason Kevin got fired.

That's the sanest thing I've ever heard.

That's very true.

That's what he says.

That's what she said.

The best that I can do is one month for every year you've been here.

The boss needs his coffee! [Gasps]

The cake has spoken, Pam. Sorry! Heh.

The clip went viral, as they say.

The coffee in Paraguay is far hotter?

The correct response is;

The doc crew's throwing a big after party in the warehouse tonight.

The documentary series finished airing ages ago.

The Grass Roots in the 1960s.

The guys at Athlead are still bugging me

The last few months have meant the world to me.

The lovers are standing in their own graves

The man who delivered my divorce papers

The minister just told me that it's tradition

The music? The incredible nightlife?

The new assistant

The only people that need to be there are you and me.

The only person he fooled was Kevin.

The only possible assistant to my assistant...

The propaganda wing of Bill and Melinda Gates

The rain is over and gone.

The Scranton of the EU.

The Senator promised a left turn lane by the Arby's.

The theme song from Saved by the Bell.

The three of us have a conference room meeting just for fun?

The time of singing has come,

The Turkish ambassador to Armenia,

The two countries don't have diplomatic relations.

The way that boy looks at the Galactica

The weird thing is...

Then the police showed up. Turns out, Creed was in the band

Then the two of you would move to my 1,600 acre estate, which, let's face it,

Then there wouldn't be anything standing in our way,

There are accidental murders.

There he is.

There it is.

There we go.

There'd be some things that you just wanna keep to yourself.

There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things.

There's a mole?

There's no Turkish ambassador to Armenia.

There's only dandelion tea and raisins in here.

There's only one thing that outweighs every other concern.

These doughnuts are part of my escape

These dudes are definitely in a weird mood.

They do.

They think it was Mose.

They want feel good stories?

They wanted me to go to the bachelorette party with the girls. Really?

They were interviewing a homeless, single mother with three kids.

They'll be used for seating.

They're called premature, sweetie.

They're going to do something stupid.

Things are going great.

Things are going well, actually.

Thinking about my old pals,

This airs tonight?

This character is my real height.

This expresses how loudly I love you!

This is

This is a ring

This is an amazing gift because it comes with bonus gifts.

This is better.

This is great for me and for Drake. Thank you.

This is like the march on Washington, but for a singing show.

This is my big sister Rachel.

This is my grandmother's buttock bullet ring.

This is my grandmother's ring.

This is not enough for you, and I'm afraid that I'm not enough for you.

This is really huge.

This is Tuesday, right? The

This is what you want?

This is, like, the best present ever. Okay, wait.

This one.

This past year has been really great,

This show is about me

This stupid...

This was my decision, not yours.

Those feet they're like the paws of an orangutan.

Through this whole experience...

To be assistant to his own assistant,

To get to the one woman who's gonna make all this worth it.

To make that place home.

To paint a mural for Dunder Mifflin.

To remind you that our wedding's gonna be wonderful.

To take a dump in a paper shredder.

To the assistant

To the regional manager is...

To view the documentary, so you can make it up to me

To watch America's Next A Cappella Sensa

To write the great American novel.

Today marks several important milestones.

Together, we run a no nonsense office.

Tomorrow's his wedding day.

Tried to get your attention with tricks, but

Trust yourself, love yourself.

Turns out they have a support group.

Two million hits in the first week...

Uck.

Ugh.

Uh ohh!

Uh oh, look who came to join us.

Uh,

Uh, actually, you called me in here.

Uh, could I please have your attention?

Uh, Jim, that DVD in the last episode was

Uh, no one recognizes me.

Uh, no. It's o thank you.

Uh, no. No whorehouse. This is Dwight's night, okay?

Uh, okay.

Uh, that seems inappropriate.

Uh, they left together a little while ago.

Uh, two.

Uh, what is the chef special? [Rihanna's S&M playing]

Uh... yeah.

Um, for the first seven years,

Um, Kevin?

Um, the thing I found most compelling

Um, you know what, I actually didn't handle that move, uh, very gracefully,

Um...

Um...

Um...

Um... [Clears throat]

Uncanny.

Uncanny.

Unfortunately, I have a lot on my plate today,

Very nice.

Very well! Drinks on me!

Very well.

Wait a minute.

Wait till they get a good feel of me.

Wait, what is this?

Wait, why?

Wait.

Wait. No, no, no, stop.

Wait. Why are we stopping? Jim, this isn't on the itinerary.

Wanna share a cab?

Was a great subject for a documentary.

Wassuuuuup! [Laughing]

Watch yourself become a husband...

We are all done taking auditions.

We are expecting a water delivery today at 10 a.m.

We are expecting a water delivery today at 10 a.m.

We are in a constant state of being watched,

We don't even know what this is.

We even have our own special language.

We get it. It's the wind.

We have a little bit of a problem.

We have our decision.

We have that table and that table,

We just have to divide Darryl's next 12 hours into 90 minute segments.

We owe Andy that much.

We regained the White Pages, the district, the county, we supply them all.

We want to dance with you.

We wanted to hang out with you guys.

We'll be somewhere in Europe

We'll come back to visit. But I think it's time for us to officially

We'll find a better parent than Ryan in no time.

We're all a little hormonal with the doc airing.

We're fine.

We're getting bonus footage for the DVD.

We're gonna move on. Next question, please.

We're so excited.

We're very close.

We've all been waiting! Okay.

Welcome.

Well, almost everyone.

Well, first of all, I don't have co workers anymore

Well, first, buy us a drink.

Well, he is so cute. Ravi, check out this cute baby.

Well, he seems really happy being back here at Dunder Mifflin.

Well, he's calling for his mom,

Well, I bet it was a smash.

Well, I burned all my bridges at Dunder Mifflin,

Well, I mean, how do you pay back someone for something like that?

Well, I've been trying to tell you how I feel, and

Well, if anyone here can make a case for Kevin staying...

Well, that is shocking.

Well, then I guess you're ready for this.

Well, this feels like a good place to stop

Well, this might make up for it.

Well, well, well, well, well.

Well, yeah, you hold on.

Well, you you bought the house without telling me,

Well, you're the bestisch mensch

What a chubbers. [Chuckles]

What about a year from now?

What about the honeymoon?

What are you so excited about?

What do we got?

What do you Dwight! [Tires squeal]

What for? We haven't even gotten bread yet.

What I'm about to say makes no logical sense, and yet

What if, as they're delivering the water jugs,

What if, as they're delivering the water jugs,

What is it?

What is that meaningful look?

What is that?

What is this song?

What is this?

What mole? What are you talking about? I already forgot about it.

What song is running through my head right now?

What the

What the fuck is your problem, you fucking piece of shit?

What was that stuff?

What will be your mark, what will you be known for?

What, are you gonna whack me, Jim?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Why would you say that

What's going on?

What's going on? How was the "delivery"?

What's the opposite of a horse?

What's this?

What's up, everybody?

What's up?

What's your name?

What's yours?

When I get back from our honeymoon,

When I left Dunder Mifflin for good,

When Jim decided to come back to Scranton full time, I was relieved,

When she got kicked out of her apartment,

When this thing started,

Where are you?

Where would we go?

Where's my angel?

Whether it's our government or the government of other countries,

Which are better than friends, you know,

Which is great for bloodlines, and isn't technically incest.

Which is Schrute for best man.

Which is the history of us

Which is, of course...?

Which thing?

Which was just some trees and stuff.

Which was wrong, because he's shown me time and again.

Which will compete in a series of singing and physical challenges.

Which will it be?

While Erin pretends to hump me from behind

Who saw an all you can eat shrimp commercial

Who wants PBS?

Whoa,

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't do that.

Whoa. Right

Whoo hoo! Let's get this party started!

Whoo!

Whoohoo!

Whoohoo! Casey Dean! Cincinnati, Ohio!

Whose baby is this? Oh, are you, like, a manny now?

Why did you pick this place?

Why is PBS sending another crew?

Why not?

Widely set eyes.

Will be watching tonight at Poor Richard's.

Winning team to Mid Atlantic.

With that baritone? That would be historic.

With today's modern surveillance technology,

Within the next five to seven hours.

Won't we? [Drake laughing]

Wonderful...

Would a grump make this?

Would you like to hold Phillip?

Wow, you guys are really mean.

Wow! Congratulations. That's a really big step, man.

Yay!

Yeah, a $25 gift card.

Yeah, but then they moved the panel to the same weekend,

Yeah, but you're not gay. You're not gay.

Yeah, I heard. It sounds kinda lame

Yeah, I'm not ready for this.

Yeah, it sounds exciting. But...

Yeah, it's hot, the music is awesome.

Yeah, like Harry Potter.

Yeah, people hate you.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, sure, I'll talk about it.

Yeah, we all need a drink.

Yeah, you made a personal connection with him.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! Good song choice, Jakey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. [Sniffles]

Yeah. Go ahead, all right?

Yeah. It's real.

Years ago,

Yep. Take care.

Yes, an onion loaf for the table

Yes, I was getting hammered.

Yes, I'm happy.

Yes, I'm living in Florida now.

Yes, it is

Yes!

Yes!

Yes?

Yes? Is there a follow up question?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. I did.

Yes. Whoo, whoo, whoo.

You are

You are an assistant who's just gotten a phone message.

You broke our hearts.

You can take that to the bank.

You can't be anything but happy on your wedding day.

You can't just sit here and cry.

You can't just sit here and cry.

You chose one thing.

You could see yourself...

You could watch yourself fall in love,

You did a really great job.

You did good. Real good.

You did this as a prank. My own bestisch mensch.

You didn't let me finish. That's not fair.

You don't belt on my time!

You don't have to do this for me.

You don't need to repeat right now...

You don't read it aloud like that!

You ever been in a manager's office before?

You gave your baby an allergic reaction just to talk to me?

You going, Toby?

You going, Toby?

You got to forget about all the other stuff.

You gotta forget about logic

You gotta jump.

You guys are being filmed way more than we ever were.

You guys gave that to me.

You have to change the channel to PBS.

You just gotta do everything you can

You just never, ever wanna leave it.

You just want to hear me sing. I respect that.

You keep forgetting about him.

You know what to do.

You know what, I'm gonna make reservations right now

You know what? I know it's against the rules, but

You know what? Maybe we should talk.

You know what? You don't have to

You know, Dwight, this whole search for the assistant thing,

You know, if you'd been filmed for nine years of your life,

You know? I loved what I had, and I didn't wanna risk it.

You learn a lot, but I didn't wanna know any of it.

You left us without saying good bye!

You look really, really good.

You love Angela, Dwight.

You might feel sorry for me.

You might know me from a TV documentary that's premiering tonight.

You ready for tonight? We gonna tear up the town?

You remember my two lap band surgeries, right?

You said the tradition is for the groom to search for her, and it ends at a pub.

You say I do it wrong.

You take something ordinary,

You threw the summoning bag at me, sir?

You too, Andy.

You want to play with the cactus?

You watched it.

You were gonna get handsy with me.

You will, of course,

You wouldn't believe me, so...

You'll always have the upper hand when you've got a good

You'll be doing the whacking.

You'll be seeing the last of me!

You're a good assistant, Jim.

You're back.

You're gonna choose one of these two things,

You're here.

You're just saying that to make me feel better.

You're not alone, sister.

You're obviously gonna be on the show.

You're probably sitting there wondering

You're telling me!

You're, like, my three favorite people ever.

You've had your drink. Now where is my bride?

Your internet searches were so filthy we had to throw out your computer.

Your search for your birth mother.

Yuck, pew!

Yuri Slovak, who, by the way, is extremely embarrassed about the size of his nose.

985,000,000,000,017.

"Get out"? Mm hmm.

"The coffee in Paraguay is colder?" No, I meant you were getting colder.

[Laughing] What was that for?

♪ Whoa oh no Hi.

A real doozy. Oh, boy.

Absolutely, we do. Am I right, people?

Agh! You get it?

All right. What I'm saying.

am I right? A thousand times more.

And all I care about Hold on a second.

And he's hot. Oh, no.

and head through this obstacle course. Okay. Ooh, it's hot.

And I lied to you. What?

and I'm afraid that... Resent you?

and then we'll get this started. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.

Andy! Hey, Pam!

Andy. Hey! Aw!

Angela, are you all right? I don't know!

Are you still with Piotr? No.

at Cugino's. Question for Darryl.

Aw, heck, yeah. Nice.

Aw! Whoa ho!

Because why wouldn't you be? Mm hmm.

Both: Shh! No, I don't need this.

Bravo! Bravo!

But I had I believe

Can I go back to my desk now? Yes.

Careful, he bites. Mama.

Clark! Yeah.

Come on, everybody's going. You have to go, Toby.

Come on! Okay. Pam.

Come on! Yeah, I'll stop by.

Come on. It's sea horse. A sea horse.

Cool. Oh, that's for PBS executives only.

Damn straight. Unless you think he can't handle it.

Darryl, hey. Hey.

Didn't I just see you at the airport jumping in a limo? What?

Drake is your baby's name? Yeah.

Dwight K. Schrute. Yes!

Dwight. Jim, what

Either way Either way, I think you're only a teeny

Excuse me, what is this? Sweetheart, you're amazing, okay?

Fine. Today, we will be testing candidates

for real. Wow!

full of frozen, premium cattle sperm. [Whistles]

Get out. Come on! What

Get the hell out of here. You got it.

Get upstairs. I don't think I should

Go ahead and get in the back of the line. Yes!

God, I envy them. He envies you.

Good luck. Great. It was really fun. Good evening.

good. Well, Toby'll stop it.

Great, now we got three hours to fill. Okay, hold on.

Guten prank. Yes, Mose.

Guys. Because whenever I pack the bag,

Guys. Kevin, what? Kevin, what is it?

Guys. Why don't you pack it?

He ain't coming. Oh, God!

He says he doesn't want to. Wow. Man.

Here comes yellow. No, no, no, no.

Here, use my pen. Don't tell me what to do!

Hey oh! Andy?

Hey, guys. Hi. All: Hey!

Hey, he can handle it. All right.

Hey, Ryan! Hey.

Hey! Dar ryl! Darryl! Hey!

Hey. You all right?

Hold my place in line. Where are you going?

How's Athlead? We livin' like rock stars.

How's Florida? Oh, great.

I belt on my time! ♪ Casey Deeeeee eeean

I did. I felt it. Big time.

I don't know how else to tell you. I'm afraid you're gonna resent me,

I don't know. Oh, gee

I don't think Toby, wait, wait. Hold that thought.

I finally feel ready. Athlead is growing. Athleap

I love you. [Laughing] I love you too.

I love you. I love you!

I missed you! Ohh.

I need to get out of this dress. I gotta get out of this dress.

I really didn't. Oh, no!

I think it's time for you to bury the hatchet. [Scoffs]

I would love a corn dog. We'll see.

I'll try this one. Phyllis.

I'm just gonna have to go to the store. Okay, you go to the store.

I'm losing my balance. Whoa. Now, Kevin No. Hey, no.

I'm obsessed with him. Oh?

I've never heard of such a thing. I haven't heard of it, obviously.

Is that Mose? Yes, it is!

Is that them again? Yeah.

It was awesome. Thanks, Phyl.

It's about Phillip. I'm sorry he's here today.

iTunes. I think there's, like, $7 left.

Jim, over to you. Let's not get crazy

Just go, go! Thank you, Ravi

Kevin, where are you going? Away.

Kevin, which you are. What?

Kevin. Yes!

Let me help you up. Thanks.

Let me try a different song, okay? Can he do this?

Let's get a drink in you, huh? Yes!

Let's go outside. Okay

Look at that form. Oh, my God, that's just pathetic!

Man, those are some nice pipes! Yeah.

Mm hmm. Get the sheep baa ed.

Mm hmm. Hmm?

Mom? Wait. Wait.

much like Germany and Italy in World War... No

Must've been another devilishly handsome, debonair individual. Hmm.

Nice. My wife's name is Kathryn.

No horseplay. Stop it.

No savoring. Wow. What an honor.

No, but maybe the reason You're not gay.

No, it's me, Andy. No, I know.

No, really, what's going on? Okay, okay. Um...

No, that is totally uncool! Hey, no way!

No, you're not, sir. Don't don't

No. No, no.

No. Oh. [Laughs nervously]

No. Unless you want me to break protocol.

No. Can't have nonsense. What is going on?

No. No, this is my time! America wants it!

Not significant is a big word. I think it's definitely well, okay.

Nothing. What are you up to?

of a real human breast. Come on.

Oh, come on. Hey!

Oh, much. Okay. But that's three wrong,

Oh, my God!

Oh, so... Mm hmm.

Oh, some fudge? Oh, thanks.

Oh, sweet. A cappella is all about pitch,

Oh, yes. Hey.

Oh! Oh, hey!

Oh. Hi!

Oh. Yeah, unlike Andy Bernard,

Oh... okay. [Laughs]

Ohh

Ohh. You?

Okay, man, easy. [Feigning tears]

Okay, sure. Should we go inside? Actually, could you go inside?

Okay. Oh, boy.

Okay. Take it off.

Okay. The last

Okay. I kind of forced you to do it. You didn't force me.

Okay. Ready everybody? Hit it, red!

On a roll much? I don't know where it came from.

One more for the doc. Hey!

Ooh! Oh! Ow!

Pam. Because I'm so glad you're back, baby,

Perform a test. On an innocent baby.

Phillip got this for me? Sure.

Phyllis! What's happening?

Please don't. Don't touch me.

Poor, poor Andy. Okay. [Struggling]

Potential future nonsense. Yes.

Question. Yes, beautiful girl in the front.

Really? Yes

Right there. Right here.

Right. Hey, guys.

Right. Which one is that? Mm,

Run, old man! Run! Ow.

See you guys at Poor Richard's, all right? All right, Meredith. Okay, bye.

See you there. Listen, I Bye, Phillip.

Shut up, woman! Who drives like that?

Speech! No!

Stop it, Meredith! Fine. My bad! Go ahead, Jakey!

Thank you so much. Good night.

Thank you, Esther. Bye.

Thank you, Phyllis. Hello, hello.

Thank you. Thank you, Dwight.

Thank you. Good bye. Nope! Can't end like this.

Thanks for helping out, sweetie. Mm

Thanks, man. Thank you.

Thanks. Mm.

That happens a lot? Yeah, I guess. But

That was amazing, man! Yeah. Yeah, it felt good. It felt funny.

That's a lot of pros. And did I mention that she weaves?

That's it. Okay.

That's not [Gasps]

That's why it's so clean. Yeah.

The yearbook picture! Yes.

Toby's blocked it, so Yeah, yeah.

Trademark pending. This is not an excuse to blow off work

Ugh, flag on the play. That's that's what Yeah.

Uh, better ask Jim. And Jim will say nothing.

Wait, what did you just say? We wanna buy your house.

Was it accurate? I got a beef with that

Waste of a good hatchet. Okay, just talk.

We'll take it. Hold on one second.

We're gonna be together forever. We're running off into the sunset.

Well, it's been great. 11 years.

Well, w I heard you say "well" the first time,

What are you listening to? Hmm? Um, uh, locking in my starting note.

What does that mean? It's a colloquial way of saying "you're fired,"

What is it exactly? Ooh. Shh.

What was that? It's just the wind.

What! Ohh! Surprise!

What? Oh, man.

What? What about five years from now?

What? Yeah.

What's going on? [Sighs]

What's it about? A paper company.

What's that? It's from the teapot.

Where is the basket for gifts? Right there, sir.

Where'd you learn to dance like that? I don't know.

Who did you have in mind? Well, I know this sounds crazy,

Whoa. ♪ Doctor, doctor, gimme the news ♪

Whoa. Easy.

Whoa. Okay. Okay.

Whoo, whoo, whoo! Okay, you guys, have fun.

Whoo! Can you clap?

Whoo! What?

Whoo! Whoo hoo!

Whoo! Yeah!

Whoo! Yes!

Whoo! Whoo hoo! ♪ Passin' out $100 bills ♪

Why didn't you pack the apple snacks? Why didn't you pack the apple snacks?

Why do you say that? [Sniffles]

Why? [Sighs]

Why? Pull over!

Will you lock the door? Okay.

with two numbers, and he pays two bills. Oh, my gosh, it's choreographed!

Wow. [Grunts]

Wow. Jim really doesn't want to come?

Yay, Andy! All right.

Yeah You can't do that.

Yeah, brosef. Amazing!

Yeah, come on, Tobes. Come on, Toby.

Yeah! Right now!

Yeah! Yes!

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah. All right!

Yeah. And that was fun. But

Yeah. College baseball is on.

Yeah. It's good to see you again, Ryan.

Yeah. Ohh!

Yes, I did. Oh, my God. ♪ And I won't waste a minute without you ♪

Yes! [Laughs]

Yes! It is. Hi.

You did not force me to do this. Yes, I did.

You even look shorter. Oh, I took out my lifts.

You have to! Come on!

You ready? [Chuckles] You kidding?

You really wanna do this? I really wanna do this!

You remembered. Of course I did.

You wanna do this? I wanna do this.

You want to dance? One dance. All of us together.

You're back? Yeah.

You're both fired! Dwight, come on. Don't end on a bad note.

You're still here. Oh, thank God. ♪ I am beautiful

You've got a regional manager. The power source.

Your agenda taking pleases him. Have a seat, Phyllis.

Zero. No nonsense.

'cause they have to give you one month's notice before they leave.

'cause we're gonna do this right.

"a mistake plus keleven gets you home by seven."

"AARM."

"Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.

"Be strong.

"But the coffee in Peru is far hotter."

"But the coffee in Peru is much hotter."

"Guten prank" number one.

"Guten pranken."

"Michael J. Fax from fax to the future!"

"mom, I hate you!"

"Mr. Halpert, your wife called to find out

"Plop"? Still?

"Some say the only failure there is is the failure to try."

"Thanks for letting me hang out in accounting."

"That is wrong.

"The coffee in Peru is much hotter."

"The tea in Nepal is very hot."

"The tea in Nepal is very hot."

[All cheering]

[All cheering]

[All cheering]

[All cheering]

[All cheering]

[All laugh and applaud]

[All screaming]

[All shriek]

[All whooping]

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Babbles]

[Baby crying]

[Baby squeals]

[Background chatter]

[Big & Rich's Save A Horse (Ride A Cowboy) Plays]

[Boogie Wonderland by Earth, Wind & Fire]

[Both laughing]

[Both laughing]

[Both squeal and laugh]

[Brakes screech]

[Buzzer]

[Buzzer]

[Buzzer]

[Car horns]

[Cheering] it's that...

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

[Clears throat]

[Clicks tongue]

[Crowd murmuring]

[Crying] At least I got chocolate.

[Crying] I feel like all my kids grew up,

[Crying] I think I'm gay.

[Door opens]

[Door opens]

[Exhales]

[Exhales]

[Fake crying]

[Gasps]

[Gasps]

[Gasps]

[Gasps]

[Gasps]

[Giggling] ♪ just sit here and cry ♪

[Grunts]

[Halfhearted applause]

[Hangs up phone receiver]

[Imitates buzzer]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Kevin sniffling]

[Kiss] Oh!

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing] Hello!

[Laughing] Oh, you can afford it.

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs] We do not want to hear you sing.

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter] [Knock at door]

[Mimicking heavy metal guitars]

[Mimicking trumpet]

[Old man voice] My name is Ezra Cornell

[Overlapping chatter]

[Overlapping chatter]

[Overlapping chatter]

[Overlapping chatter]

[Panting]

[Phone ringing]

[Playing Sweet Child O' Mine]

[Rap music playing]

[Rhythmic tapping]

[Scattered cheers]

[Scoffs]

[Scoffs]

[Scoffs] Not even close, Meredith.

[Shutter clicking]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs] [Creaking]

[Sighs] Man, how long have we been sitting here?

[Sniffles]

[Snow Patrol's Open Your Eyes]

[Sobbing]

[Sobbing]

[Sobbing]

[Sobbing] It's everything.

[Soft ballad]

[Speaking in indistinct language]

[Speaking native language]

[Steam whooshes]

[Straining]

[Tearful laugh]

[The Cars' You Might Think]

[Thudding]

[Upbeat music]

[Whispering] Angela,

[Whispering] Michael.

[Whispering] Why are you still here?

[Whispers] Angela.

[Whispers] It's too loud.

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪ 'Cause I need you

♪ A 440

♪ And all the faces that I know ♪

♪ And I did unspeakable things ♪

♪ And I won't feel these slices and cuts ♪

♪ And says, baby, uh uh, it don't work ♪

♪ And we forgot each other's names ♪

♪ And we forgot each other's names ♪

♪ And when the storms scream Angela ♪

♪ Angela ♪

♪ Angela, I'll be there for ya ♪

♪ Angela, I'll be there, yeah ♪

♪ Are you insane? ♪

♪ boogie wonderland

♪ boogie wonderland

♪ boogie wonderland

♪ boogie wonderland

♪ Burned all my bridges ♪

♪ But it didn't matter 'cause deep inside ♪

♪ but, brother, you're never fully dressed ♪

♪ Casey De ee ee ee ee ean ♪

♪ Chill out ♪ [Crying]

♪ Cry, cry, cry ♪

♪ Dance

♪ Dance

♪ Dance

♪ Dance

♪ Dance

♪ Daylight deals a bad hand ♪

♪ Far above Cayuga's waters

♪ Get up, get out

♪ Have that same familiar glow ♪

♪ Here comes my girl ♪

♪ Hey, hobo man, hey, Dapper Dan ♪

♪ I am beautiful

♪ I got a great Casey Dean for you ♪

♪ I just wanna be your lover, ain't no liar ♪

♪ I saw a friend today, it had been a while ♪

♪ I think I must have known them somewhere once before ♪

♪ I wanna run with you, fast as I can ♪

♪ I want so much to open your eyes ♪

♪ I'll meet you in the middle of a hurricane ♪

♪ I'll meet you in the middle of a sad song ♪

♪ I'm excited just by touching your hand ♪

♪ If you want your bride, buy us a drink ♪

♪ Into hearts

♪ It can't end like this, you know ♪

♪ Just sit here and cry, just sit here and cry ♪

♪ midnight creeps so slowly ♪

♪ no matter what they say ♪

♪ of men who need more than they get ♪

♪ Oh, Angela ♪

♪ Oh, Angela ♪

♪ Oh, I can so just sit here and cry ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Rosalita, you're my stone desire ♪

♪ Sara smile ♪

♪ She is all I need ♪

♪ Shout it, hey, here comes my girl ♪

♪ Slept in my car last night, quit my job ♪

♪ stands our noble Alma Mater ♪

♪ Tell me that you'll open your eyes ♪

♪ Tell me that you'll open your eyes ♪

♪ Tell me that you'll open your eyes ♪

♪ Tell me that you'll open your eyes ♪

♪ The anger swells in my guts ♪

♪ The feeling still remained the same ♪

♪ The feeling still remained the same ♪

♪ The mirror stares you in the face ♪

♪ though you don't care

♪ To a woman

♪ to look into mine

♪ Well, I walk into the room ♪

♪ When the winds cry Angela ♪

♪ who has made too many bets ♪

♪ with her waves so blue

♪ Without a smile

♪ Yeah, she looks so right ♪

♪ Yes, words can't bring me down ♪

♪ You both got your style

♪ You dance and shake the hurt ♪

♪ You guys are really mean ♪

♪ You say your prayers

♪ You're just not good ♪

♪ You're just not good ♪

♪ You're just not good ♪

♪ You're just not good ♪

♪ Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly ♪

♪ So free and easy ♪