How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Season 1 Edit

A beacon of hope for New York City's lovelorn.

A bro doesn't tell a mutual bro that a third bro has a crush on him.

A bunch of naked dudes hanging brain.

A Chinese restaurant.

A cocktail she invented herself.

A couple of days ago, the biggest problem in my life was,

A drum roll? That's it?

A friend of yours named you?

A little Barney.

A little girl?

A little part of me wants to just jump the bones of the next guy I see.

A little prank. I'm not in Dutchess County.

A little to the left, Marshall.

A little to the left, Marshall.

A lot of local teams in action tonight.

A lot,

A mix CD.

A prom? Can we go to that?

A rain dance.

A really hot... A hooker!

A really terrible idea, Just awful,

A slump is when you strike out every time you step up to the plate,

A squeeze bottle of marshmallow ice cream topping,

A storm,

A sword fight?

A tailor? Barney, I make negative $300 a week

A, it will make Robin insanely jealous.

A7.

About a month ago, I started getting insomnia.

About once a week.

About to call it an early night, when out of nowhere

Absolutely not.

Actually I kind of was.

Actually, don't use the minibar.

Actually, I can't even get myself in. I was such a dork.

Actually, I got through that okay.

Actually, I kind of need this hand to eat.

Actually, I was going to show you my breasts,

Actually, I was talking to my martini.

Actually, I'm at Robin's.

Actually, it kind of does.

Actually, it kind of does.

Actually, it's mostly me, but you're getting some of the splash.

Actually, neither.

Actually...

After law school, I'm still gonna work for the NRDC.

After Shannon and I talked, I nailed her.

Again?

Ah! Happy birthday, Ted.

Aliens?

All done.

All finished, gentlemen?

All I have to do is input the variables, run the algorithm,

All noisy and sweaty with the...

All right, and party number one, that's where we get to meet Marybeth?

All right, bring the mockery. Fine. I can take it.

All right, cool kids are leaving now.

All right, Eriksen, I've got some good news.

All right, fine. Set it up.

All right, here's what you do.

All right, I've been thinking a lot about this, and...

All right, Marshall.

All right, our next guest is another friend...

All right, Polly gotta pee.

All right, right over here.

All right, sheet music's on the way.

All right, so, Barney, are you doing this or what?

All right, stay there. I'm on my way.

All right, Ted, call me from the hospital.

All right, Tin Man. Let's hit it.

All right, well, have fun at your little disco, guys.

All right, what do you think?

All right, what does VIP stand for in your little universe?

All right, what kind of prize are we talking about?

All right, you've clearly had a rough night.

All right! Guess I'm in.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. All right.

All right. Hook up strategy:

All right. I'm cutting you off. Go home and get some sleep, Ted.

All set.

All talking and no sex. Kill me now.

All those things happened after 2:00 a.m.

All you have to do is be that confident with every girl you meet

ALL: Kiss! Kiss!

ALL: Something went terribly wrong.

ALL: What?

ALL: Wow.

Also see, Ted up.

Also, Lily's coffee maker doesn't, you know, shock people.

Although this transvestite hooker said he/she would do you for half price

Although, pickings are pretty slim tonight.

Altrucel was most well known for making the yellow fuzzy stuff

Always dressing up in crazy costumes?

Am I wrong saying that?

Am I? No, I'm not.

An accident?

An eight, an eight, and a seven.

And "Let's spend the rest of our lives together."

And a great reporter. You should be on 60 Minutes,

And a Montecristo No. 2. Thanks.

And a pineapple,

And a pineapple! Am I the only one who's curious about the pineapple?

And a string of one night stands.

And a truck carrying sulfuric acid overturned right in front of Robin's house.

And acting stupid and goofy and sweet and insane, but not me.

And all four are totally naked. You gotta choose one.

And all it cost was half my Christmas bonus,

And all of those nice things,

And all you're left with the next day is a bad hangover, a sprained ankle

And as far as your lesbian experience...

And bimbos, and booze. Round and round it goes.

And bring it out here, like, now.

And Butterfield's going to be knee deep in angry white mice.

And by the end of it...

And C, maybe by getting to know Mary,

And change a flat on Marshall's Fiero?

And come Saturday, little music, little dancing, a lot of champagne.

And compatibility.

And consume this coffee table,

And D, B all night long.

And damn it, I'm gonna get some more cake.

And do some awesome air kicks while you still could?

And don't feel bad. I've woken up with worse.

And dressing up as naked people.

And even if I did, on principle tip jars have become so...

And even if you're not, don't worry. I'll have a good time either way.

And even though it's been decades, and someone else lives there now,

And ever since then, she's been signing him up for book clubs,

And every morning, he orders a sandwich from the deli downstairs.

And every year, you're just getting older and it's getting harder and harder.

And FYI, Shannon and I have decided to wait till we're married.

And get this. She's a marine biologist.

And giving Manhattan one of its worst storms

And got a temporary crown put in,

And got the crazy eyes going. And I said,

And he hated every minute of it,

And he still hasn't noticed

And he thinks she's calling to dump him tonight,

And he's got this weak ass, thin, French moustache.

And here come the paramedics.

And here it is, eight months later, and nothing's changed.

And here's the most amazing part.

And here's your mail. Minus magazines.

And his hair was perfect.

And his weenie.

And his/her favorite movie was Say Anything...

And how many have you sent her?

And how much did you pay for your costumes?

And how she followed her dream to Germany,

And I am gonna throw up.

And I be an outlaw.

And I can forget all about it, and get married.

And I can't do any of that with a boyfriend shackled around my neck, you know?

And I do not drink with racists. Good day!

And I don't want my new husband to think I'm a crazy person.

And I felt terrible about it, so I came clean and we broke up.

And I have to pee.

And I haven't done any of them.

And I kissed a girl.

And I left the rest of it in the trash where it belongs.

And I need every negative penny of that for my wedding.

And I never figured out why.

And I rediscovered just how awesomely awesome my life is.

And I said something dumb.

And I should have a say in it.

And I spilled nail polish there. There's the stain!

And I strongly urge you to consider it as a career.

And I swear to God, even the baby looks bored.

And I thought that was the end of it, But then...

And I told him he could bring his date to the wedding.

And I want a band. And I want shoes.

And I was already on a date with another girl,

And I was gonna make some juice. And I was like,

And I was kind of hoping you'd save the date.

And I was wondering if you had...

And I was working at a coffeehouse with my girlfriend,

And I went to the wedding stag,

And I will go with you to Foxy Boxing.

And I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out,

And I wound up kissing this guy at a party one night

And I'd lose you as a friend?

And I'll call you from the cab...

And I'll tell you something, it feels pretty good.

And I'm exhausted.

And I'm freaking out, and you're my best friend,

And I'm never gonna see her again.

And I've really only ever been with one man.

And I've stumbled into the beginning of a very scary campfire story.

And if economic sanctions and trade restrictions aren't enforced,

And if going slow is what it takes to make this happen, I say, bring it on.

And if I pee all over it, it might go out forever!

And if it's not like that,

And if she thinks she can do 11.45% better, who am I to deny her that?

And if you feel confident that you could reel one into your boat

And if you got to know them, then you would see that.

And if you're such a bro, she's a part of who you are, too.

And it begins.

And it just seemed insane that you didn't know who I am now.

And it reminded me how great you are.

And it told the story of the year she spent

And it'll be perfect.

And it's 40% his wedding, too.

And it's actually working.

And it's awesome. Really, really awesome.

And it's cool. And I'm doing it.

And it's gonna keep on happening,

And it's melting through the sidewalk,

And it's much harder to deal with because, well, I don't get my nap.

And it's my dream job.

And it's not a good look for me!

And it's not so little Mu Tu can get his malaria pills.

And it's pissed.

And it's supposed to rain tonight.

And it's the size of a potato.

And just like that it's all okay. Roll credits.

And just soak up life and put it on a canvas,

And Kelly on 34th Street.

And knew it, I'd want that person to come down to my dermatology office

And like the majestic seahorse, it's hermaphroditic.

And long distance definitely isn't an option.

And look back and say, "Yep, that was a mistake."

And lurking just around the corner from those moments

And Marshall Eriksen as a gay pirate.

And me making the coffee, I had this coffee pot,

And my dad already paid for this huge wedding.

And never underestimate a 12 year old with a...

And no, we will not be attending any parties in your pants.

And none of it would've happened if I had just listened to my mom,

And nothing good ever happens after 2:00 a.m.

And now I'm actually thinking about it.

And now I'm e mailing said picture to him.

And now I'm really, really embarrassed.

And now she and Ted are upstairs.

And now the kids are just going crazy by the end of the day.

And now we're celebrating our anniversary stuck in a bathroom.

And now you're trying to make me jealous by waving Edward R. Moron in my face?

And now, I don't think I won't not go to the bathroom.

And now, you're gonna do it for free.

And of course I'm not in touch with her!

And one really sucky memory.

And over a million species will be wiped out.

And performed a drum solo?

And presto manifesto, you have a soul mate and it works!

And read the paper to you each morning.

And realize I need it and have to go all the way back to get it.

And reel in 10 chicks hotter than you.

And remember, if you ever ask the question, "What,"

And Robin Scherbatsky for "Pickles, the Singing Dog,"

And say to those girls, Daddy's home?

And second of all, you cannot do this. It's wrong on every level.

And second, she's not the girl of my dreams.

And shazam!

And she knows me as a hanging chad.

And she plays bass guitar like Kim Deal from the Pixies.

And she was kind of homely and strange Iooking.

And she was really self conscious about this little moustache she had.

And she's been throwing up ever since.

And she's looking to get married and have kids?

And she's picking up what I'm laying down.

And so, back in 2006,

And so, one fateful naptime...

And so, really, what's it gonna matter in 50 years if I jump the gun by one night?

And still have faith your pumpkin's gonna show up?

And still. It's still really awkward right now.

And Ted's gonna love them.

And tell me so. In that scenario, I'm not interfering,

And that is when the bouncer kicked us out.

And that is where we will ring, nay, rock in the new year.

And that meant gorilla lessons,

And that, in a nutshell, is why I'm not putting the moves on you.

And that, my friends, is why you don't get your money's worth

And that's enough. I've done my part, now get down here!

And that's it, Those are all my friends, Thank you,

And that's kind of scary.

And that's really noble.

And that's why she didn't give you her number.

And the answer is right here.

And the host said she knew you.

And the hot tub at my grandparents' retirement community.

And the night begins now. All right. Game face on

And the only person I wanted to see at the end of it was you.

And the only way I'm gonna find that someone is by going out

And the only way I'm gonna find that someone is by going out

And the school board took away my naptime...

And the streak continues. Vomit free since '93.

And the triumph of the human spirit,

And the winner is Robin Scherbatsky,

And the winners of this year's costume contest are

And then all of a sudden, you're 28,

And then Barney calls her up, and then she shows up at the bar,

And then followed it up with something good?

And then I had nobody.

And then I promised Lily that we'd stuff 200 wedding invitations.

And then I started thinking about Victoria

And then I'll feed them to you like g****s.

And then I'll just slip this in, and it won't seem so bad by comparison.

And then I'll move to Prague or start my own video game company or something.

And then it got... icky,

And then Lily told her the whole story,

And then narrow them down to one,

And then narrow them down to one,

And then she dumped me.

And then she's gonna make you some delicious juice!

And then suddenly, poof, spell's broken.

And then that leaves us with eight women.

And then the phone rings,

And then we brought you home and put you to bed.

And then when it's over, never see each other again.

And then you have to eliminate half for intelligence, sense of humor

And then you have to take out the ex girlfriends, and the relatives

And then you realize I don't fit into your life anymore,

And then you slip it to the guy with a discreet handshake,

And then, top off the package with a New York Times, ready?

And then, whatever she says, yes or no, that's it.

And then, when we're old and gray,

And there is no way you're getting married in that sarcastic quotation marks "suit."

And there was this barefoot dude with a weirdly sharp toenail...

And there you have it, kids,

And there's a string quartet,

And there's an open bar.

And they make life worth living,

And they mixed that cocktail, and they loved penguins.

And they're all, "Yo, Eriksen, let's roll to the strip clubs!"

And third, I've been placing small items in Sandy's hair all night,

And this is my closet.

And this mascot costume you stole cost $5,000.

And this time, you're actually gonna say yes.

And this.

And those guys are lame.

And three months becomes forever?

And throwing feces.

And to preface this, we're not gonna sleep together tonight.

And to score Hula Girl's number. Check and check.

And usually, they say, "Yes, it is."

And we both screwed up relationships in the past by jumping in too quick.

And we love you, drunk Ted!

And we only get one life.

And we only get one life.

And we really, really need to get out of here!

And we still don't have...

And we tell each other everything, So here it goes,

And we'll check in with you tomorrow, New York.

And we'll think of something stupid to do together.

And we're gonna have to stop coming here, which will suck,

And what be a pirate's

And what kind of wedding band would you be

And what will be sticking to that yacht?

And when Marshall told me not to marry you it made me realize I...

And where's it all heading? Nowhere.

And who shows up but Gabrielle.

And who was this girl in my bed?

And who's the girl in my bed?

And with today's interest rate climate,

And wondering what happened to her.

And yet still so sick it needs to be chopped off the next?

And yet, we'd feel obligated to have sex.

And you deserve a big package.

And you didn't tell Marshall.

And you didn't use an obvious alias on your application

And you don't even have to come out of the cake.

And you get so drunk you throw up, it'll be sad,

And you have a girlfriend. Go home, Ted.

And you know what game I really miss? Battleship. I've never lost a game.

And you know what he said?

And you know what? I actually feel closer to you now.

And you know what? That's okay.

And you know why?

And you know why? 'Cause I mean it to be.

And you know why? Because you're different.

And you know why? Because you're irrationally picky,

And you promise me that you will never, ever, ever tell

And you took them down to make room for your fiancée's stupid painting?

And you wound up losing both girls in one night.

And you'll give up your independence and you'll never live abroad

And you'll need new shoes. Don't worry. I know a guy.

And you'll see how totally not that lame they are.

And you'll wind up old before your time, wondering,

And you're wondering if I'd be upset.

And you've got "statutory" written all over your body.

And your mother. Calling me all the time...

And your slump's over.

And yours is 100% wool,

And yours went another, doesn't make your life any worse.

And, also, I texted you the same thing.

And, besides, we want completely different things.

And, by the way, I bought these glasses. Bought them at Ikea.

And, damn it, I've made no mistakes!

And, FYI, yes, I have three way calling.

And, guys, I haven't exactly told Victoria

And, hey, look, at least now we can stay in here as long as it takes.

And, if you do, what does that mean for us?

And, if you don't, it's no hard feelings, just, "Good night.

And, in fact, moved here to get away from.

And, it's not like I care so much about getting into the VIP room.

And, look, he's coming by soon to talk about it,

And, look, you can still travel. I mean, you can still paint.

And, oh, we can't forget those lesbians.

And, on top of that, I have to be homeless! Does that seem fair?

And, really, the next thing I remember is waking up the following morning,

And, so help me God, if I catch you

And, speaking of digging up dirt,

And, Ted, I could use your keen architectural eye on the invitations.

And, to be honest, there's a lot of Ionely nights in that job description.

And, two weeks later, it's not working out, I'm, like, the biggest jerk of all time.

And, two, you laugh every time you say the word "sack."

And, who knows, maybe we will wind up getting married someday,

And, yes.

And, you know, I'll see some super hot model chick and I'll think,

And, you know, if Ted likes her, she's probably pretty cool.

And... And we want different things. That's still there. That's not going away.

ANNOUNCER; Ladies and gentlemen,

Another care package?

Another living soul what transpired here tonight.

Another round, and back it up for me and Lily!

Any idea who...

Anyone ever tell you you should be on 60 Minutes?

Anything else?

Anything, bro.

Anyway, halfway through the semester, she just stopped talking to me,

Anyway, I got the care package and it's just great.

Anyway, Marshall managed to score an internship in their legal department

Anyway, now he has his girlfriend in Germany

Anyway, this girl, any idea who she was?

Apparently, she was wearing brown shoes

Appeared this girl in the sexiest pumpkin costume,

Apple picking. Can you just get up here?

Apple tart, excellent choice, Lilypad.

Arby's.

Are 75% more likely to have success in future relationships.

Are harshing my mellow.

Are opting to have non traditional weddings out in the woods.

Are we playing I Never, 'cause there's nothing left

Are you a vampire?

Are you coloring in your butt?

Are you finally gonna tell me exactly what your job is?

Are you guys okay?

Are you guys planning on punching some holes in that box?

Are you honestly trying to get me excited about fondue?

Are you kidding? Ted's never been here.

Are you kidding? You guys never talk about anything.

Are you sure?

Are you trying to get me to join a cult?

Aren't you even a little curious? The woman who set you up

Argyle.

As I rode home the next morning, the city looked the same,

As I walked away, I realized Shannon was an adult,

As long as I don't have to spend it with a bunch of phonies.

As on pitch as they were at Spring Fling '95,

As perfect,

Ask her about the cake.

At 2:43 in the morning.

At 2:45 a.m. You still have a girlfriend.

At a police auction. I just got a call from a guy down at the marina

At least someone appreciates the fact that I am doing and not thinking.

At least, I'm good at it.

At the Russell House Art Foundation here in San Francisco,

At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me.

Aunt Kathy's got an itch that only you can scratch, big boy.

Austin and I spent Saturday night at the most charming

Awesome air kicks, huh?

Awesome! So awesome!

Awkward conversations with middle aged couples

B, you get to have sex with her.

Baby, I can't hold it in any longer! It's time!

Baby, I know that this will make things harder,

Baby, I'm giving you sexy smoldering with just a hint of crazy eyes.

Baby, it was a mouse. It had whiskers.

Baby, The 88 don't audition. They're like The Wiggles of wedding bands.

Baby, there's something I have to do. And if I do it in front of you,

Baby, they're only holding the date until Monday.

Baby, what are you talking about?

Baby, why don't you just go?

Baby, you go with them, and I'll meet you at party number three.

Back in 2005, she thought she was too cool for Halloween.

Back of Horse. Hey, where's Front of Horse?

Back to my place, Hansel.

Backgammon sucks.

Bad idea jeans.

Bad maps, creaky houses, hillbilly in a gorilla suit.

Bad move Scherbatsky.

Bam.

Band. Check.

Barnacle out.

Barney was still trying to prove that good things can happen after 2.00 a.m.

Barney,

Barney, Barney, what the hell! Barney, it's not worth it. Let it go.

Barney, how do I get these idiots to leave me alone?

Barney, I don't like Ted. He's moved on and I'm really happy for...

Barney, I'm not bringing a date even if I wanted to.

Barney, is that true?

Barney, that was really embarrassing for both of us.

Barney, that's not my dad.

Barney, there is no way I am...

Barney, this is the third time you've hit on me by accident!

Barney, this says $4,000.

Barney, what was on that tape?

Barney, you tried. I think that's great. But we're going.

Barney, you've always taken care of me. You are a gentleman and a scholar!

BARNEY; And then she told me about her life,

BARNEY; Five weeks later, we were all set to leave for the Peace Corps,

BARNEY; I didn't go,

BARNEY; I went back to the coffeehouse to find Shannon,

BARNEY; It was 1998, I was just out of college,

BARNEY; Oh, no, it just takes a while to power down,

BARNEY: Name's Clark Butterfield.

BARNEY: Now focus. You and Marshall are roommates.

Barney!

Barney!

Barney?

Barney.

Based solely on one external characteristic?

Be free, mutant beast. I'll miss this private war of ours.

Beautiful, charming, intelligent, engaged.

Because after 2:00 a.m. Is when things get, audience, say it with me, legendary!

Because all of the stuff you're supposed to like, usually sucks.

Because deep down, you didn't want to show up at this thing with a date.

Because he knew someone who worked there,

Because he's pregnant. 'Cause he's the girl.

Because I look good.

Because I made it rain. That's what I did today.

Because I told her I had converted all my money to India dollars,

Because I want it to be fun and Marshall wants it to be lame.

Because I want to keep some of the mystery alive.

Because it was just me out there. I couldn't even stand playing doubles.

Because it's being chased by another moment.

Because now you're in.

Because that night was just beginning,

Because that's our song,

Because the beauty of a moment is that it's fleeting.

Because the decisions you make after 2.00 a.m. are the wrong decisions,

Because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake,

Because then you'd go your whole life not really knowing

Because this whole thing was your idea. And Claudia scares me.

Because tonight, I am getting us all into Okay.

Because you have feelings for Ted.

Because you just haven't met the right Hansel yet.

Because you kind of look like John Cusack

Because you'd just pass right through her and feel really cold for a second.

Because you're acting like one of those guys,

Because you're expecting a call from your girlfriend in Germany

Because you're gonna bring your own date.

Because, italics, this night did not happen.

Because, we just hooked up last night. I can't call the girl the next day.

Behind a curtain, in a dark little room,

Being in a couple is hard and committing,

Believe it or not, I was not always as awesome as I am today.

Believe me, you'd know the moves.

Besides, if I go out, who's gonna watch the news?

Besides, if I go out, who's gonna watch the news?

Besides, she thinks I'm on my way to India.

Binoculars. Second pair, on my desk.

Bob Rorschach over here at Love Solutions.

Both fitting together like two pieces of a very attractive puzzle.

BOTH: Say what?

Boy, too bad.

Boyfriend.

Brace yourself, dude. This is gonna blow your mind hole.

Brain freeze.

Break a leg.

Break me off a piece of that white chocolate.

Broke my tooth!

Bummer. I was hoping to finally have sex with you this weekend, Scherbatsky.

Burn!

Busy as a bee, that little computer.

But actually it's Long John Silver's.

But after 2.00 a.m., my good sense was sound asleep,

But are you having second thoughts?

But back then I really thought that's how it worked,

But before I do, I just want to say something.

But before it even started...

But Derek should be coming by any minute to pick me up.

But do you really think you're gonna hang on to a girl that great

But even if you save every rainforest from being turned into a parking lot,

But eventually she graciously agreed to let me bring Robin,

But every year they have a Halloween party

But everything was about to change,

But Executive Mischief Consultant Marshall Eriksen reporting for duty.

But go ask my landlady, Mrs. Conroy.

But go on.

But he needed money for the wedding,

But here's the problem,

But here's the real kicker. Shannon's a mom.

But here's the real question, It's 2.00 a.m.

But hot dogs.

But how am I supposed to know if we're soul mates? It's too soon.

But how will you know it's me? I'm a master of disguise.

But how's she gonna feel in a couple of years

But I already invited someone.

But I am just a manifestation of your subconscious,

But I can't do this, you're a hooker.

But I can't sign off on it until I hear you play Good Feeling

But I checked plus one. I always check plus one.

But I couldn't be Gretel.

But I don't actually cry in front of people

But I don't know. I'm really into this girl.

But I don't think she is.

But I don't want to hide out in here.

But I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic.

But I have thought about it for three seconds, and it makes a lot of sense.

But I have to go to work, and you have that meeting.

But I just want someone who's not afraid to hold me at night,

But I love painting, and I've always wondered if I'm any good.

But I love you and I want to give it to you anyway.

But I met someone up on this roof four years ago

But I think I just found it.

But I think you should go on without me.

But I think, the whole time, a little part of me

But I will make it work. I promise.

But I would like to look like a beautiful princess.

But I would much rather share this small, one scoop sundae with you, Mike.

But I'll get to that later,

But I'm an architect. And you said I'm cute.

But I'm getting married and my fiancé wants to hire you guys as the band,

But I'm in.

But I'm never gonna go out with you.

But I'm not anymore.

But I'm not gonna get that, so...

But I'm off the roster, baby.

But I'm on my way over to Robin's right now.

But I'm Robin Scherbatsky. I'm a reporter for Channel 1.

But if it's the right person, then it's easy.

But if those guys try to pressure you to smoke, what do you say?

But if we do it tonight, it'll be less sad.

But if we're stuck in here, I'm turning up the volume.

But if you do this right now,

But if you get us the sheet music, we'll play your song.

But if you roll an even number while adjacent to the Peppermint Forest,

But if you're not interested, fine, I'm out 500 bucks. Whatever.

But if you're unhappy, it's not worth it.

But in 2005, I attempted to do the impossible;

But in reality, it's always just a big letdown,

But in the meantime, wish me luck.

But instead, I'm out in the world being awesome 24/7, 365.

But instead, what do I have?

But is there any chance that Carl is a vampire?

But it doesn't change anything.

But it had mouse like characteristics.

But it has to work!

But it seems as nice a spot as any to just, you know, sit and wait.

But it was delicious,

But it was never available, And then, suddenly, it was,

But it was Robin,

But it wasn't,

But it would really mean a lot to me if you guys came.

But it would've been nice to be asked.

But it wouldn't hurt to check her out, right?

But it's a mistake I have to make.

But it's dipping stuff in hot cheese with boring people.

But it's kind of the greatest thing in the world when you're a part of it.

But it's not like I'm going to do it. The dates conflict with the wedding.

But it's the greatest samurai who lets his sword rust in its scabbard.

But just know that this Victoria's Secret party is on a yacht.

But maybe that's how it had to happen. I mean, think about it.

But more on that later,

But mostly, they wanted the public to focus on the yellow fuzzy stuff,

But nobody remembers what the hell a hanging chad is.

But not about Marshall. About me.

But not so much so that her legs are, like, more muscular than mine.

But not tonight,

But now that it was really happening, it seemed kind of huge and scary,

But peach schnapps.

But people are wrong. It should be all rise, baby.

But right now, that's just not who I am. I'm not a commitment guy.

But sadly, for you, it's just a new middle.

But seriously, call me back.

But seriously, leave me a message, and we'll meet up later.

But seriously, what was up with the tape?

But she seems to make Ted happy.

But Ted's too busy being in a lesbian relationship.

But that blue sky isn't without at least one cloud.

But that doesn't mean I'm in love with the guy.

But that's getting ahead of the story,

But the fact is, whatever I do, it all keeps coming back to Robin.

But the geniuses at corporate decided they wanted to diversify,

But the important stuff doesn't change. To the important stuff.

But the important thing is that Marshall and I love each other, right?

But the Nicaraguans need us.

But the people I'm getting coffee for, their bosses are gonna save the world.

But then after that, I finish my coffee and I go to my real job as an architect,

But then I realized

But then reality came along,

But there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake,

But there's no time to take two steps to the bedroom?

But there's no way in hell I'm telling you this one,

But there's one story I don't remember,

But there's still one big question that needs to be answered.

But they were all at recess,

But this girl, she wants the same stuff, and it's bumming me out.

But this is the one thing that never will.

But this isn't just some guy. This is Ted. He's amazing.

But this never seeing each other thing, it's a bitch.

But to be fair, she's also hot.

But Uncle Marshall swears it happened,

But unfortunately, the night did not end there.

But wait, 48% of those are already in relationships,

But wait. Knock, knock. Somebody's at the back door?

But we decided not to dress up.

But we didn't go away. We're in the bathroom.

But we want completely different things.

But what the bleep are you doing, dude?

But when he's ready to talk to me about it, he'll come and talk to me about it.

But when Marshall came out a few minutes later...

But when we said, "Hey, Moby," you said, "Yeah."

But when you just told me to stay, it made me realize that I have to go.

But why am I the only one?

But will you be happy,

But you chose one in a city 3,000 miles away,

But you did earn yourself the right to the end of mine.

But you don't really know it's a mistake,

But you enjoyed the e vite, right? That was an actual picture of my pants.

But you fought so bravely for it.

But you have a job here and a life. I'd have nothing there.

But you know what? It's gonna come out, because it's only chocolate and raspberry.

But you saw how stressed out she is.

But you're the guy..

But you're wired just fine.

But you've exaggerated it in your mind, you know, like the Loch Ness monster.

But you've got a huge package.

But your rice pilaf kicked my spinach in the crotch so hard,

But, also, you just sat down in the cake.

But, anyway, I'm blabbering. Way to make new friends, Lily.

But, Barney, they are so right.

But, by the end of it, you have no idea who you are anymore,

But, dudes, fake diamond ring?

But, God, you must have that son of a bitch memorized by now.

But, guys, I'm sorry, I'm gonna say it.

But, I know now, it's just a mirage.

But, man, when I find her

But, please, don't act like that around here.

But, still, what does this mean? Are we dating now?

But, sure, we can do hair.

But, wait. Knock, knock, back door.

But, well, considering, I'm just gonna say it.

But, yeah. Yeah, I can totally share. Yeah.

But, you always said the Foxy Boxing girls were neither foxy,

But, you know, I was drunk.

Buttercup Bakery!

Buttercup Bakery. This is it.

Butterfield is going to retaliate within the next four hours.

Buy him a giant teddy bear or something?

By any chance, was that you?

By behaving exactly like one of them.

By its very nature, it slips through our fingers.

By the side of a highway in Dutchess County?

By the way, honey, Ted stopped by

By the way, I almost forgot. We found this.