How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Edit

A "housewarming" party, too,

A "Quinntervention."

A "Quinntervention."

A 24 hour dentist.

A and do you want to hear me go, uh...

A baby in a trucker hat. That's awesome.

A bar where no one's overcharged,

A bar...

A bathroom on Thanksgiving people I know.

A Big Foot is discovered in her husband's mouth.

A board game!

A bootleg VHS of a very, very popular Korean movie,

A Boy Scout is always prepared.

A Boy Scout is always prepared.

A Broath is the most sacred bond between okay, yeah, I did.

A bubble bath, especially one

A catcher's mitt,

A child that just developed ears.

A city of eight million people, there's no escaping Karma.

A clue.

A Coca Cola Yankees party?

A complete idiot for not calling.

A couple, perhaps.

A different decoupage class in the same building.

A disaster backpack,

A dog collar and a hot pink thong.

A dog in Ottawa ran all the way to Saskatoon!

A few twists and turns, hasn't it?

A few years earlier, Barney lost a bet to Marshall.

A four star hotel this cost Barney a fortune.

A friend lonely enough to smoke his own meat

A giant picture of me has no idea who I am.

A Greedo.

A guest room?

A guy has to be the first one to let 'er rip.

A half open hide a bed sofa, a top loading VCR!

A housewarming party in two weeks.

A hunter spots a hairy form in the fore.

A kick ass labor announcement e mail.

A kid needs a pet cobra, Ted. Don't be a pill about this.

A little awkward,

A little kid's imaginary friend.

A little longer than I thought.

A little sign next to the plate marked "Vegan"?

A little something.

A little tie pun.

A little? She just texted me

A lot about what you said yesterday,

A lot of guys would be weird or jealous.

A lot of the intrigue out of life.

A man misses his daughter's high school graduation.

A man,

A new apartment themed bar called Puzzles.

A new ironing board.

A once in a lifetime shot at happiness.

A picture of her from six months ago.

A picture of my ding dong on your phone.

A playa's gotta play!

A preliterate society, their menus display pictures

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar

A private moment with my dad, so...

A quick warning, America:

A race of creatures indigenous to the second moon of Endor.

A ray shoots down, lifting the park ranger,

A really memorable night.

A really, really nice guy.

A regular Burt Reynolds.

A room devoted to reminding me that I'm still alone?

A slutty pumpkin.

A soft two.

A song? A poem?

A special welcome our four new interns:

A stapler, a pair of sharp scissors,

A successful businesswoman, a world traveler.

A surprising gift from Lily's grandparents:

A teddy bear or an Ewok?

A tributary of the Trout River that feeds into Clearwater Lake.

A war hero,

A week later, Robin's plane landed...

A woman answers her door to find something more enigmatic

A woman calls her father to tell him she's pregnant.

A woman makes a chicken salad sandwich.

A woman,

A.k.a Sliced Processed Alien Meat

Aaaaaa...

Aaaaaaaaa...

Aah, ooh, ow!

About "this chick," because

About Bigfoot playing quarterback for the Vikings?

About cats.

About dating a stripper, you ask?

About Enigmas of the Mystical is that, well...

About every detail from your past,

About having sex with a girl in a stormtrooper costume, right?

About her dream involving Frankenstein

About how beautiful her smile is,

About how great our lives were gonna be,

About how we're all gonna die.

About Kevin's theory.

About Long Island.

About me bending your hard little body over the railing

About me getting to second base in tenth grade

About not going home for Christmas.

About ten years ago,

About the likelihood of that happening.

About the whole wife and kids thing.

About wanting to not lie to each other?

About your not wanting to find out.

Absolutely not. Fine.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. And romantic!

Absolutely. Let's talk about last night.

Abuzz.

AC/DC?

Accomplished.

Actually into you, did you?

Actually, her name is Sadie.

Actually, I'm trying to have

Actually, it's a hard cider.

Actually, it's, uh, it's "epiphany."

Actually, keep going.

Actually, the duck could be Polish, too.

Adamantly against having a...

Address...

Adjacent.

Adopt a baby.

Adopting a baby with a friend? Crazy.

Adopting a baby with Barney? Freaking nuts.

Adventurous...

Affecting your judgment.

After all these years,

After everything that happened between us,

After generations of adapting.

After spending all day working on your art,

After that night, we'll never be alone again.

After that, background checks

After the second trimester, he made her stop stripping.

After we dock, let's each do what we have to do,

After you sleep with her, yes!

Again, for the purposes of this story...

Again, sorry kids.

Agreed?

Ah la la la...

Ah, being pregnant is so much fun.

Ah, cool.

Ah, don't worry, Lil.

Ah, even the tickets

Ah, hello, Ted.

Ah, Lady Aldrin.

Ah, Lily,

Ah, on a separate note, guys, this is Maya.

Ah, screw it.

Ah, something she said earlier.

Ah, to really take us back,

Ah, who cares what her name is; she won't be

Ah, yes.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! concert!

Ah. I I do... very much.

Ah. Smart.

Ah. Ted, you are a giant whining bummer.

Ah... doesn't sound familiar.

Aha.

Ahem.

Aiding and abetting a kidnapping.

Aliens abducting people from their beds and probing them.

All 200 of 'em.

All aboard!

All beekeepers do this.

All day learning how to make kugel.

All day learning how to make kugel.

All I can think about is what Quinn is doing

All I want to do is sit in the bathtub

All I wanted to do was enjoy a night at home.

All I would find inside is a scared, trembling pile of crap.

All jobs suck,

All of my friends were in relationships.

All of my friends were in relationships.

All pregnant ladies have crazy sex dreams.

All right, fine.

All right, fine. I won't say anything.

All right, guys, I gotta go.

All right, I'll get my beekeeper's suit.

All right, just a little bit so no one will notice.

All right, let's watch this thing!

All right, Lily, legs up!

All right, maybe I could go for one more drink.

All right, thank you.

All right, that sounds good.

All right, this, this is exciting, okay?

All right, we got a lot of work to do.

All right, we're moving on.

All right, we're ready. Good.

All right, well, I will just cut to the chase.

All right, you got me.

All right, you know what, you guys?

All right, you win!

All right! It's trilogy time!

All right.

All right.

All right. All right.

All right. See you. See ya.

All right. We're moving on!

All that stuff from before.

All the meddling in Ted's love life,

All the other girls got a pretty dress

All the smug hippie bands from the '90s in one big concert

All these years, I never stopped thinking about you, Ted.

All three of which now need new names.

All we have to do is get our hands on that motorcycle.

All we have to do is sit back, play it cool,

All you have to do is admit that mystery is stupid

All your friends and family are waiting for you

Almost as if your body was accustomed to low temperatures

Almost every woman I've ever met was wrong

Almost exactly the same sandwich.

Already checked.

Already had dinner in there, why not a movie?

Also Diary, I think writing in you is stupid,

Although I wound up fainting,

Although we seem to have picked up a German family.

Although you do realize that even ten years ago,

Although you know what is tied

Although, it is paid for.

Always getting in fights about stuff

Always good to tell a long story while people

Am I right?

Am I right?

Amazing!

American scotch from Scotland!

An airplane ticket to Cleveland?

An easy couple months for me. I've made mistakes.

An extra slap could really come in handy.

An Intro class.

An Intro class.

An oven mitt, a glass of warm water,

And 40 kilometers that way is the mining town of Smithers.

And a Boy Scout is always what?

And a broken home?

And a cake when they turned 14.

And a pretty decent Pinot Noir.

And a rental car that seats five, parked right outside.

And a sleigh ride with those guys,

And add Sandy,

And after pushing her to call him,

And after that, we're gonna shag.

And again, going through a tough time,

And against all logic, it was actually going well.

And all of a sudden, I had a piphany.

And all the e mail reminders said 9:00 a.m.

And all you cared about was some stupid bet?

And and now I'm about to lose my job.

And and your grandson's going to get stuck.

And assuming that epsilon approaches zero

And await our inevitable doom.

And bang your patients. That's normal.

And Barney wants to know the baby's gender?

And be carrying his child.

And be dating you by now.

And because for 37, you are keeping it toit!

And being optimistic all the time

And being piloted by our own Robin Scherbatsky.

And bowls.

And boy, it's been a real nail biter.

And by the end of the night, one thing had become clear:

And calling it Spam.

And carrying his child,

And caterer for the wedding.

And clearly you haven't seen the DeSalvo twins.

And clothes and a nice house,

And competing at the collegiate level?

And congratulations to you too, Ted,

And congratulations.

And consistency of your last period?

And count us into a better year,

And cut off a certain part of his anatomy with a cheese knife.

And dessert has fireworks in it.

And did Marshall become a Ghostbuster?

And didn't call her, so she hunted him down

And didn't get a scratch.

And don't say, "The Siamese Twins""

And don't so much as nudge it.

And don't worry, Princess,

And dropped the weirdest deuce of all time.

And drunk to the point of talking like Yoda.

And dumber than this one.

And end this forever,

And enjoy the big surprise.

And ethically, I can't be your therapist

And even have a deli sandwich named after her.

And everything's in place: the food, the wine.

And exciting and smart.

And feet I'm a kicker.

And filled out their online application.

And finally told Kevin her secret.

And find out if you're having a boy or a girl?

And funny...

And gave her panties... my hose.

And get all dry and cracked.

And get right down to me making love to you.

And get you back to your wedding.

And getting into a rhythm with my log.

And given me a rare glimpse into their bizarre way of life.

And go help Lily and Marshall, just like we promised.

And Gouda!

And guess who thought my status update about Manitoba was

And had a habit of lying to get attention.

And had a history of mental problems.

And have an awesome night and you're not there,

And have some cuddle free shut eye.

And he brought his two friends:

And he is one of them.

And he realized that maybe private moments are overrated.

And he says that he's at peace with it.

And he was all, like,

And he was even scarier without the toupee.

And he'd found a clever way to never spend a cent.

And he'll cave immediately.

And help me out?

And her mailbox is full of messages from you?!

And here he is now.

And here he is now.

And here I've been going on and on about babies.

And here it is:

And here we go.

And here's another 20 for that word being "boner."

And high school field hockey playoffs?

And hit in the nuts by skateboards, bitten by babies.

And how much I care for you,

And how's the sonnet coming, buddy? Dude.

And Hurricane Irene was barreling towards New York.

And I am so angry,

And I asked him,

And I begin to fear I am more captive than guest...

And I begin to fear...

And I can top every one of them.

And I couldn't have been prouder.

And I don't know about you, but I could really use one.

And I don't know if I can handle a life

And I don't know if I can handle a life

And I drove all the way from Mom's, so get lost.

And I gave the apartment to Marshall and Lily,

And I got a big raise,

And I got back boobs.

And I got this:

And I have to deal with it.

And I have to respect that.

And I hope you don't care about mine either.

And I hope you have some aspirin at home,

And I I know how much it hurt that I didn't say it back,

And I I miss you.

And I I... I I know it's for the best.

And I just happen to be friends

And I just looked at her

And I just remembered there's a spare key

And I just want to make sure you're okay.

And I know just the way to do it.

And I know people say that having kids means

And I like the way

And I need to assert my dominance as a man.

And I ruined it.

And I should go.

And I texted her, "What's up""

And I think I finally figured out the best thing

And I think I got a sunburn on my cheek.

And I think you do, too.

And I thought we'd be cuckold.

And I thought, "Man, Quinn is in such great shape,

And I understand... Robin...

And I want the gang to meet her.

And I want them to keep an open mind,

And I want to know everything.

And I want you on it.

And I was there to meet her at the airport.

And I was totally fine with that.

And I would love to see you in the shower."

And I... think I want to say yes,

And I'd give you a really good price for it,

And I'd rather steer clear.

And I'd wind up comforting her.

And I'll give it to you.

And I'll go.

And I'll walk in on it.

And I'm alone without anything close to a girlfriend.

And I'm always ready to roll.

And I'm carrying this briefcase

And I'm getting rid of my mugs.

And I'm married to that douchey guy in the trucker hat.

And I'm not good at getting screamed at,

And I'm not up here to videotape it

And I'm pretty sure I have a drumstick...

And I'm rejecting their offer.

And I'm sick of it.

And I'm so excited, because I've been trying months

And I'm sorry, Ted cannot pull off bald.

And I'm stuck going with my roommate.

And I'm the only girl for him.

And I've been playing you like a fox.

And I've been struggling with it,

And I've seen women from there; the city's aptly named.

And if I do something colossally stupid,

And if I don't have a guy for something,

And if it's a little girl...

And if nachos is all you seek...

And if some hot woman gets all her clothes blown off,

And if there's one thing I've learned, it's flarm.

And if we want to do that.

And if we're together long enough,

And if you could ever do it,

And if you don't mind my saying, your dad is

And if, uh, you make her happy,

And in your honor...

And instead of going to Saint Marcus Hospital,

And invented a salad.

And it didn't pan out.

And it failed after a few months.

And it still makes sense that we all live together.

And it was... terrible.

And it's cold as balls, so get packed.

And just a hint of coconut.

And just as he was about to lose it...

And just know this:

And just like that, I was taken back ten years...

And just like that, Lily and Marshall

And just like that, the wall went up.

And keep lighting bugs on fire with my magnifying glass.

And kids, as I watched your Aunt Lily hold her baby boy,

And kids, as we now know, they did.

And leave it in the fridge for two days, nobody eats it.

And left at the altar.

And look what happened.

And look, about all this... Just go.

And luckily, there'll be plenty of supply.

And majesty humbles us?

And make this our family home.

And Marshall and Lily explained.

And Marshall made an even 60.

And Mrs. Madsen's friend thinks I'm gay,

And my doctor is at Saint Marcus Hospital!

And my facial hair just grows in patchy.

And my field trip is not going as well as I'd hoped.

And my piphany was this...

And my son is head of Cardiology.

And my ticket says 9:00 a.m.

And mysterious than Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster.

And never, in a million years, will I ever want kids.

And not because of these these.

And now I'll never have a mustache.

And now my boss wants to see me Friday at 5:00,

And now Robin Scherbatsky with traffic.

And now that I know that...

And now that you know what I did for you,

And now the gentlemen!

And now the gentlemen.

And now they don't trust you.

And now we're fighting. You know what?

And now you're back on board.

And now, to seal this sacred vow,

And now, we have an announcement.

And oddly enough, his name is Guy.

And once we iron out the whole pet cobra thing,

And one of them was even human.

And one of those appetizers just didn't sit right?

And open minded.

And our answers were just too different.

And our boss in the car downstairs said...

And our lungs fill up with salt water,

And Patrice said that she would take me off your hands.

And pretending anyone who leaves you

And put it up on the Internet, who will, FEMA?

And read a book, but now...

And reevaluate how I make life decisions.

And remember, not too much cream cheese.

And Robin did.

And Robin was staying with her coworker, Patrice.

And Robin?

And ruined our relationships,

And said, "I love you."

And scoop up some kids. Mmm.

And secondly, are you really saying

And sexy and...

And sexy.

And she lies about her age,

And she prefers to trap her own dinner.

And she took it all weird.

And she wants us to check it out before the open house.

And she was

And she was extraordinary.

And she was kind of mean.

And she's in a wedding dress.

And she's watching me right now.

And smiles.

And so Puzzles got a bouncer,

And so Robin and Kevin had breakfast alone,

And so the gender remained a secret,

And so today at work,

And so, as his best friend,

And so... by the immutable laws of the Ewok Line,

And some plates.

And somehow, despite sweet talk like that,

And sometimes a single second can last a lifetime.

And spit.

And squeeze until those greedy sons of...

And stand up for yourself.

And start growing down.

And still a guy who spends his whole life sitting next to

And stole all of Lily's underwear.

And strangely obsessed with your adolescent sex life.

And taller. Just older.

And Ted almost got into a fight with Mr. Cootes.

And ten points to you for pointing that out.

And that feels good. But if you didn't have that slap left

And that from tonight forward, you're in this as much as I am.

And that girl was muscular.

And that I don't feel the need to keep score.

And that magic moment starts in ten...

And that might have been the end of it.

And that thing was to... eat a sandwich.

And that your mom was a groupie for Supertramp.

And that's gonna be tonight!

And that's how Sandy rides.

And that's how you play the game.

And that's that.

And that's the story of how we met Quinn.

And that's the story of New Year's Eve.

And that's what happened in the dining room.

And that's when the night turned to absolute crap.

And that's why it's important to never keep score.

And that's why we don't ask him.

And that's why we don't ask him.

And that's why you love me.

And the 9,000 points for banging Robin before me,

And the anesthesia could suddenly just stop working,

And the barroom debate was dead.

And the biggest boob in here is you.

And the firemen came and got it out,

And the funny thing is,

And the girl that the guy I cheated with cheated on.

And the hot sweaty bodies.

And the kid just ran with it!

And the line starts out there.

And the number of a man who can get me a kidney.

And the only thing that Better Lily is better at than our Lily

And the rest of you may go.

And the tea cup from Beauty and the Beast.

And the way she hugs him.

And their best friend,

And then after Thanksgiving, Lily and I were thinking

And then Barney told me everything.

And then came the smartphone.

And then either texted me a bunch of symbols for profanity,

And then he banged, like, a hundred chicks

And then her face turned...

And then I can to tell you

And then I realized why Robin and I

And then it'll just be holiday parties.

And then meet up at MacLaren's at midnight and...

And then see if it's still a good idea tomorrow.

And then she thought of the only other man she knew

And then the doctor said a bunch of medical stuff that...

And then the lady at the thrift store said that for years,

And then we agreed to "go back to normal."

And then we got dinner at the restaurant we hadn't been to in a long time.

And then you'll have to explain why there's

And then you're going to hate me

And then you're going to have to explain all of this to the cops.

And then, a week before the hurricane...

And then, something wonderful happened.

And then, with any luck,

And there'll be swords and ninja stars lying around.

And There's Still Time to Reunite Genesis?"

And these annoying notes he keeps leaving around?

And they had to put it all back in.

And they never saw her again.

And they never saw her again.

And they never saw her again.

And they're only 46 minutes away.

And this lamp absolutely cannot be here.

And this two dollar coin? A "toonie." True story.

And thus began the most harrowing journey of our lives.

And thus too old for something so cloying and cute.

And to be clear, this would add three slaps

And to top it off,

And told him this is not how you treat your staff.

And tonight, I'm gonna have sex with it.

And trying hard to be a better person.

And Uncle Marshall's fancy dinner.

And unexplained phenomena.

And unlike a certain Jalapeño Coconut Vodka martini,

And until 10 minutes ago

And watch out for my drum set.

And watch the Vikings make the Bears

And we all die!

And we can talk about you leaving then.

And we get the perfect picture in the perfect setting.

And we have a baby. Just so you know.

And we have an extra seat in the car, so...

And we kind of sort of decided to...

And we made a deal

And we still haven't found the nachos.

And we sue the big guys

And we'll be riding the Drunk Train. Oh.

And we'll have amazing weeklong parties,

And we'll talk on the phone.

And we're all going to hang out together forever.

And we're all horny...

And we're back... together!

And we're gonna make it.

And we're here doing the limbo?

And we're here tonight

And we're not gonna miss the concert!

And what I found with mine

And what you were saying about how women feel

And what's funny is, three years from that moment,

And what's really scary is how quickly that can happen.

And what's up with the hand holding?

And whatever he's having.

And when I get there,

And when it is, I want you all to remember

And when that didn't work,

And when they crawl back,

And when they walked in the door...

And when you reach my age, and height,

And where are we?

And where she is doing it and who she is doing it on.

And while you're distracting the nerds and fatties,

And who knows, by then,

And why doesn't anybody like these hats?

And why isn't anyone wearing the hats I brought up?!

And with your salary plus my salary,

And wore a lot of stupid hats.

And wrote "Vaginaville."

And yeah, I promise, I'm practicing.

And yes, I'm gonna do something crazy, too.

And yet, suddenly today,

And yet... Whoa, whoa, whoa, fragile?

And you all made fun of me. So guess what?

And you also get...

And you are so understanding.

And you can't hang

And you didn't even recognize me the night we went out.

And you divide that... No, no, no!

And you factor in an aggregate of 32 boobs per car,

And you find out Marshall's dead,

And you got to third base with that slut.

And you haven't settled down with anyone else,

And you haven't stopped thinking about me.

And you just lost five points for sass.

And you know it.

And you know that I can't stand up to screaming.

And you met Kevin.

And you might find yourself worrying

And you must be "Principle."

And you should be at the fuse box.

And you spent eight hours setting up Christmas lights

And you totally join in, right?!

And you, with your blithe request,

And you're already a terrible father.

And you're not even trying hard!

And you're nothing like her.

And you're out at a bar with your friends,

And you're sitting in the hummus

And you're there for Lily emotionally at first,

And you've used that bravery every day of your life.

And your cousins, and the guy that Robin thought was Neil Young.

And your father would bend over backwards

And your soul mate.

And, and the day is still not over.

And, finally, we'll announce...

And, kids, that sign is still there to this day.

And, kids, they did make it.

And, uh, let's be honest,

And, well...

And, you know, few women have vaginal tearing severe enough

And, you know, I want this baby to be born

And, you know, this place

And...

And... I don't think time's going to change that.

And... I really don't want to mess that up.

And... wrestle!

Annie Hall?

Another cake!

Another cake?!

Another thought popped into my head.

Another.

Answer: a hurricane.

Antoine Dodsons, and that jackass

Any chance we could put that bad boy away for now?

Any inner city playground in your limo

Any predictions for 2006?

Any thoughts?

Any way I can jump in with my thing?

Anyhoozles, just... long term bets,

Anyone born on this side loved the Ewoks because, why?

Anyone born on this side of the Ewok Line was

Anything about her before the date.

Anything at all!

Anything can happen. You could bleed to death...

Anything serious.

Anything.

Anyway, Dad,

Anyway, Dad, since it's just the two of us...

Anyway, Dad, Ted and Barney's, New Year's Eve

Anyway, Dad, where was I?

Anyway, he's an important guy, okay?

Anyway, I had skinny arms, so I got up there elbow deep.

Anyway, I'm gonna call a real estate broker

Anyway, I'm just working

Anyway, I'm seriously contemplating purchasing

Anyway, it was nice seeing you.

Anyway, let's make our own bets about this sex tape.

Anyway, she's still married to a death row inmate convicted...

Anyway, so back to my story.

Anyway, Ted Evelyn Mosby,

Anyway, Ted's right.

Anyway, that's the story of me and Robin, 2005 to the present.

Anyway, the next day, after the danger had passed...

Anyway, this VIP room has a maximum occupancy

Anyway, uh, who wants to go up on the roof?

Anyway, uh...

Anyway, while it's just us guys,

Anywhere.

Apology accepted.

Apparently, after child birth,

Apparently.

Architecture is my life's work.

Are aiming guns at you.

Are better now than they were three years ago.

Are four minutes apart.

Are going to be waiting. You don't understand!

Are gonna be here any minute.

Are they okay? Are they in the hospital?

Are we forgetting about a certain Mr. Furter,

Are we running out of boring people?

Are we still friends?

Are we talking princess, ball gown, column?

Are you a fan of I don't know

Are you a vegan?

Are you afraid of helicopters?

Are you any closer to deciding? Ooh...

Are you at home now?

Are you aware that breaking a Broath

Are you going to seize this slap ortunity

Are you having a stroke?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding?