A bike and...
A bit...
A child's been missed!
A child's...
A list of Trelews. l just clicked on the first one!
A nipper? Cor!
A nipper.
A picture of you in the sleigh delivering the gift...
A shooting star!
A Spanish boy?
Abandon the North Pole!
Able to reach 50,000 miles per hour at a height of 40,000 feet.
After all the hard work, l wanted everyone to have some Christmas fun.
Ahead, there's a !
Air bag.
Alert level six.
Aliens. Aliens from space.
All correct presents, present and correct.
All is
All is calm
All right.
All sorted. Steve's...
All that fuss over one kid.
All the Christmas fuss.
All the Santas taking the missing present.
All their technology against my Evie.
All this for one child. ln 600 million.
All those bright ideas, eh?
All those stars.
Always so busy.
And Not you, you bag of fleas.
And about this child you missed...
And Arthur, yes, doing...
And as long we get the bike to Gwen before she wakes up, then Santa came!
And do you want to ?
And Evie can go back in mothballs. You can forget she ever existed.
And furry.
And get me lT.
And he can get around the world to every child...
And he cares!
And he's as good a man as any Santa there's ever been.
And how do you get down the chimneys?
And how many cookies and mince pies have you eaten in all of history?
And l said to myself, "Bryony, the wrapping looks okay. Thank goodness.
And may 1 00 percent of your Christmases be white.
And my camera, totally banjaxed.
And my splendid...
And Santa's in there!
And there are millions of roads in the world.
And there's Arthur.
And we have a new Santa!
And we've got quite a few reindeer left.
And you'll never get to be Santa.
And, if l'm sick again, l could be sick in a bag.
And, yes, do believe in Santa.
Anyway....
Apologies for the minor delay.
Are you Saint Nicholas?
Aren't you the fancy nancy? Don't matter what you come up with.
Arthur and Grandsanta are out there...
Arthur, Christmas is not a time for emotion.
Arthur, do you really think you can row the Atlantic Ocean in the next...
Arthur!
Arthur!
Arthur!
Arthur!
Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!
Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!
Arthur! You're compromising...
Arthur?
Arthur?
Arthur?
Arthur.
Arthur.
Arthur...
Ask him. Please.
At least have the decency to finish us off with a rock!
Back wheel!
Bad doggy!
Bash it with a brick, Arthur. Go on.
Because you'd be incredibly old.
Beg your pardon. Well done!
Big girl's blouse.
Big scratch...
Bigger ergo better.
Biggest map in the world!
Both of you.
Breaking the rules, even in the old days.
Bright
Brilliant.
Brilliant. Thank you, Bryony.
Bryony Shelfley, it's her HOHO.
Bryony Shelfley. There's...
Bryony Shelfley...
Bryony!
Bryony?
Bryony?
Bryony?
But
But aren't you in charge, sir?
But could you not be in Mission Control...
But don't we need a whole one?
But it can't be done.
But maybe the aliens come in peace?
But please don't bring it if it makes you and the reindeer burn.
But she doesn't still go?
But that present should not be lying in the "
But that'll ruin the magic.
But there's a child without a present.
But there's nothing there.
But, sir...
But, Steve...
Buttons?
By the time the sun comes up on Christmas Day, he'll get to you too...
Bye bye, Maria.
Call the keeper!
Calm, people!
Can l ?
Can l have a go? Please, please, please?
Can't be done.
Captain Marino...
Carrot chomped.
CCTV...
Cheats, the pair of you!
Chicago wasn't on the map?
Chief De Silva.
Children don't matter?
Children...
Christmas 1 923...
Christmas 1 941 , World War ll...
Christmas accomplished.
Christmas doesn't matter!
Christmas is for kids. You grow out of it.
Coated in lead paint.
Code red.
Coffee machine's by the door. Good night, Santa.
Come away!
Come back!
Come home now!
Come on, lad!
Come on, lad. You're as much use...
Come on. Worry me, quickly!
Coming right up.
Could Dad do that? Did he make a snowman for Steve?
Could you please type faster?
Couldn't look me in the eye.
Craft.
Curtains.
Dad, wait.
Dad!
Dad!
Dad!
Dad!
Dad! Dad!
Dancer.
Dash away!
Dash!
Dash!
Dash!
Dash!
Dash!
Dash! Dash!
Dasher.
Dear Alessandro...
Dear Arthur.
Dear Gwen, thank you for your letter...
Dear Lars, l promise Santa will come.
Dear Santa, are you real?
Dear Xiao Ling, thanks for your letter...
Dear, l'm sorry.
Deep, crisp, even.
Delete rice pudding and carrot. German leave out for Santa...
Denmark cleared.
Depends on the angle the sleigh hits. You might just get beheaded.
Descend 1 000 feet.
Did he?
Didn't we, lad?
Do l?
Do not Look. Look!
Do something. Arthur!
Do this one.
Do you know, Arthur, there is a way.
Do you mind if l ?
Do you want to tell me to let you in?
Does it?
Does that make me a bad Santa?
Does your sack have to get bigger every year...
Doesn't even matter if it's...
Dog food incoming.
Don't be silly, l'm Santa. Can't you see from me suit?
Don't be upset. Look.
Don't get bit, mind. They can smell fear.
Don't leave me, Arthur!
Don't need him to tell me what's ahead.
Don't worry, sir. Children are...
Don't worry. Only a raving lunatic
Don't you want to help for once?
Doubt it.
Drive on the right. National dish: sausage.
Drop complete.
Drop complete. Stand by, S 1 .
Drop time...
Eighteen.
Elf down.
Elf, back me up if you want a career.
Elf, how do you fancy being the one to tell his parents about all this?
Engage rooftops.
England!
England.
Ernie Clicker, sir.
Espresso machine broken.
Even if you could squeeze down it in one minute...
Every child that year got a sausage nailed to a piece of bark.
Every young heir to the Pole gets took out by his father.
Everybody, mission...
Everything all right?
Everything changes.
Evie?
Except, of course, for the S 1 .
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse!
Father?
Fencer!
Field elves, jingle! Drop time, 1 8.14 seconds per household.
Fine, fine. Probably just....
Fine. l'm the candle, Arthur's the turkey...
Finger!
First Field Elf Battalion, set.
Fish!
Five countries ago, sir.
Flensburg weather:
Follow me.
For Christmas l would love a pink Twinkle Bike with stabilizers.
For Christmas l'd like a pink Twinkle Bike.
For goodness sake!
For the love of Lulu...
Forget Techno Tommy. He's texting on his calculator after another job.
Forgot the PlN code.
Forty six, 45...
Four!
France.
Friends, on this night of peace, we stand confronted...
From Maria Costa.
Front wheel!
Frosty the Madman. He forced me to come.
German, leave out the carrot. ls Santa on shoe?
Germany.
Get it over.
Get me down!
Get off me!
Get off! No!
Get off.
Give me that.
Globular warming.
Go in through the robin.
Go on, Arthur. Quick!
Go on, elf.
Go on, Festive Freddie...
Go on.
Go!
Good idea. A child's...
Good morning, Gwen. Ho, ho, et cetera.
Good night, Dad.
Good night, dear.
Good night, Malcolm.
Good night!
Good. Wrap yourself a parachute.
Goodbye, Evie.
Goodness! Down, boy! Basket.
Goodness. Now....
Got it!
Got it.
Got to get this letter from Maria Costa...
Got to play her gentle.
GPS? Why didn't you say?
Grab its antlers and tug.
Grandsanta and Arthur would be...
Grandsanta says he's not here.
Grandsanta, you can be this charming relic.
Grandsanta!
Grandsanta.
Grandsanta...
Great great grandchildren of the original eight.
Gwen can't not have a present from Santa.
Gwen Hines on Christmas Day
Gwen Hines.
Gwen just has to have a present from Santa.
Gwen thinks you're coming.
Gwen would never have seen that.
Gwen. For that, you'd threaten my whole operation?
Hand me my Me suit.
Hands up!
Happy Christmas, cows!
Happy Christmas, Margaret.
Happy Christmas!
Happy Christmas.
Happy Christmas.
He had to go into hiding.
He is real.
He likes these slippers even more than you do!
He missed one.
He was right.
He'd have to get past...
He'll destroy Christmas.
He's a worrier, Arthur. What if he stops us? Gwen's forgotten.
He's crazy.
He's delivering the present.
He's not coming back!
He's red, he's white! He's worked all through the night!
He's the greatest man ever.
He's the greatest man ever.
Head of Polar Communications for 46 missions!
Heavenly peace
Heavenly peace
Hell's berries...
Hello, Evie.
Hello?
Here comes the cavalry!
Here it comes.
Here it is!
Here we are, see?
Here we go!
Here you are, Grandsanta.
Here.
Hey, fancy...
Hey, steady!
Hey, there's Dad. Santa!
Hey!
Hi. l'm looking for a missing relic.
Hold on, Father.
Hold still. Someone has to drive.
Hold tight, lad. This is where it gets...
How about a toast, Malcolm?
How can l ever write another letter saying that Santa cares?
How can you possibly be sure?
How did l ? l thought it was your mission.
How did you let it happen, Steven?
How do l get my picture now?
How do you get all the presents in the sack?
How do you have time to read all the letters...
How do you think he's...?
How many times, Arthur?
How old is this?
Hug me. Hug me.
Hull projection...
Hurt.
I put my head in ours and it's really small.
I think you are real. But how do you do it?
In 1 00 yards...
Jingle all the way
Jingle Bells This boat smells
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Just crossed into Germany, sir.
Just gotta break them in.
Just keep worrying about Gwen.
Just moving things along. Do l win?
Keep up, everybody.
L always knew she'd be needed one more time.
L am actually Santa, and l think it would be best
L am actually...
L can cycle!
L can see pink!
L can't eat that. lt gets in me teeth.
L can't fly a sleigh. l can't even ride a bike without stabilizers.
L can't look.
L can't wait for year 71 !
L can't.
L could still do it now, Arthur. Just give me a go!
L did my 70 missions...
L did nine ones in Greece.
L did the whole of Christmas in one of these, Arthur.
L didn't know...
L do.
L festivized every single country in the world. You see?
L got you a present, sir.
L guess he's harmless.
L have something. lt's very faint but
L have to worry! lt's the only thing l'm good at!
L just l can't.
L just have to keep going.
L just want it to be perfect for every kid.
L just wanted them to remember...
L know what you all say about me, you know.
L know where we can find...
L know, let's wake Steve. He'll
L lost everything in that flood!
L may just be a wrapping operative, sir, but this contravenes....
L mean, hello?
L mean, what if after all of that, l'm staying at Grandma's?
L mean, who cares about one single tiny child?
L mean...
L realize
L remember because she sent...
L remember the first time...
L remember the look on your father's face when he saw it.
L said me and Evie could get here, and we did.
L said one. Hurry up, Arthur.
L see a bit of the world in my office, you know.
L served out my mission in Gift Wrap Support.
L should cocoa.
L spotted the ribbon glinting in the shadows.
L think he's done rather splendidly.
L thought it was scrapped years ago.
L thought it would be chillier near England.
L threatened the elves. Said l'd feed them to the polar bears.
L told you, you should've written to me.
L want my bed.
L want you to locate the batteries...
L was 8. You're my dad!
L was a bit like you, lad. Keen as cranberry.
L was being ridiculous.
L was shot at, Arthur.
L went on alone.
L wish Dad could see this.
L won't sleep easy after this, Arthur, but there it is.
L wouldn't worry. lt's not like they're facing man eating lions.
L wrapped 264,000 presents in three days, sir.
L.... l work...
L'll be right back.
L'll be the candle, eh?
L'll find a way there, boy. Whatever it takes.
L'll go, sir!
L'll have that back.
L'll never forget it.
L'll show you, Robby the Robot!
L'll walk home, l'll get a boat, but l am never getting back...
L'll wrap him one.
L'm 1 36. l can't do it on me own, l need an elf.
L'm a wrapping elf. l don't navigate, l wrap. l use it to store pictures of bows.
L'm enacting mission closure.
L'm flying to this child.
L'm in charge here, not Billy the Bureaucrat.
L'm just happy being an elf, really. You know, just part of it all.
L'm not bickering. lf Steven could just...
L'm not going anywhere.
L'm not good at....
L'm not here!
L'm not just a fatty with a suit, am l?
L'm not really good with big animals.
L'm really sorry. lt's my Christmas slippers on the ice.
L'm Santa, you naughty boys. Here, have a bonbon.
L'm Santa! l'm delivering it!
L'm Santa! You handed over!
L'm so sorry.
L'm sorry l messed things up, lad.
L'm sorry!
L'm sorry. So sorry. Dad!
L'm still very much up to the job, you know.
L'm sure that even a child can understand...
L'm terribly sorry.
L'm too young to die, Arthur.
L've got a phobia of being beheaded, and heights and speed and reindeer...
L've got you all a present.
L've loved it.
L've made you a nice mince pie.
L've rather moved things on since your day. Eh, Steve?
L've seen this before. Sleigh fever, they call it.
L've taped myself in! Grandsanta!
Land ahoy! There it is. Told you!
Laser guided scissors!
Last time l took Evie for a spin.
Lcelandic birch. Arctic balsa. Built in 1 845.
Lead in Christmas.
Leave me. lt's that...
Left foot, sir. Right foot, sir.
Left foot.
Let me guess. You put in the address, you saw a list of Trelews...
Let me up and at him!
Let's give them...
Let's pick this up, people!
Lf there was any way at all to make the drop tonight....
Lf we all just gave in...
Lf you help us, Steve...
Lf you live at the North Pole...
Lf you want that bike delivered...
Lf you wouldn't mind just signing a legal waiver?
Lie down!
Lights out.
Like wood.
Little bro, it's great to have you around.
Lmagine Gwen, all alone...
Ln all my years, l've never actually....
Ln fact, not even that.
Ln my day, a pat on the back and a walnut went a long way.
Ln Santa we believe!
Ln two hours, she's gonna wake up...
Lncising robin.
Lnsubordination. l'll have you harpooned, elf.
Lntel! Get me lntel!
Look what they've done to my Evie.
Look, Arthur.
Look! Christmas slippers.
Looking forward to it? Retirement?
Lot of fuss.
Love, Gwen Hines. 23 Mimosa Avenue, Trelew, Cornwall, England.
Ls it true children aren't real, they're just antimatter?
Ls it true you missed a child?
Ls it, now?
Ls that bird doo on your shoulder?
Ls that your leg?
Ls there a list of children who don't matter?
Ls this yours, Arthur?
Ls this...
Lsn't this the best bit of Christmas?
Lt can't be that different.
Lt certainly is, Arthur. The whole family together.
Lt doesn't matter how we got here.
Lt don't say nothing about elves, soldier. Go, go, go!
Lt features 12 separate animal sounds.
Lt has to be an error, sir.
Lt isn't of Dad...
Lt just can't be. lt can't.
Lt just won't
Lt looks like her auntie's dog, Biffo, that ran away.
Lt must be so hard being Santa these days.
Lt only goes 1 50,000...
Lt was a gift, a great big ball wrapped in oceans and mountains.
Lt was hilarious.
Lt was just one.
Lt would take such a load off his mind.
Lt'll have to do. Pass it down.
Lt'll wake the boy! He'll see Santa!
Lt's a bike!
Lt's a Handheld...
Lt's a miracle.
Lt's beautiful!
Lt's big, isn't it, the Atlantic? Think we should stop and ask someone?
Lt's Christmas
Lt's Christmas!
Lt's Christmas!
Lt's coming down through the atmosphere.
Lt's for Gwen. Eight beautiful reindeer. That's what she's dreaming of.
Lt's gone black over Mexico. This thing's going faster...
Lt's good to get away from it all, you know.
Lt's impossible.
Lt's impossible.
Lt's like 1 81 6!
Lt's my S 1 . S for "Santa."
Lt's nice and quiet.
Lt's not 1 81 6 now.
Lt's not safe.
Lt's over a mile.
Lt's right up me steam pipe!
Lt's snow time!
Lt's so unfair.
Lt's stuck.
Lt's the 2 billion other gifts, dear. Christmas has become...
Lt's the actual sleigh.
Lt's the detachable milk maid!
Lt's the North Pole. Shut the doors.
Lt's the Quack Quack Moo Activity Farm, sir.
Lt's too noisy!
Magic dust.
Magic dust.
Maintain current....
Make a legal U turn, then slight right in 4228 miles.
Make him proud?
Malcolm, you told me he knew.
Malcolm...
Mankind greets you. Do you copy?
Margaret.
Maria Costa, Dad. Did she get the blue one?!
Marino, your HOHO is equipped with state of the art...
Marvelous. Gets me every time.
Maximum thrust.
Maybe the next...
Maybe we pulled to the right a bit. We're a reindeer short.
Me own son...
Me?
Me? No, no, no.
Meaty chunks in the hole.
Meltdown: 1 0 minutes.
Meltdown. Ten seconds to figgy Flensburg. Snowman.
Merry
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Mimosa Avenue, Trelew.
Mincer! Come back!
Mined from the aurora borealis.
Missed a child. Dear, oh dear, sends shivers down me shins.
Mission accomplished!
Mission accomplished.
Mum, are you okay?
Mummy, Daddy, come on! Look, a ribbon to downstairs!
Mummy! Daddy! Wake up!
My 70th mission. Yes.
My camera!
My department has delivered the most outstanding Christmas ever.
My friend said...
My Margaret.
My poor boy.
My S 1 festivized the world at 1 860 times the speed of sound.
Naught point lots more naughts...
Nearly there!
Never saw him again.
Next drop, Flensburg, minus 1 2.4 seconds.
Next year...
Nice kitty
Nineteen minutes ago, it went into orbit.
No "sob idad."
No Christmas for six years. The elves all alone!
No cry o.
No idea. l've never...
No one gets an unwrapped present on my watch.
No one is going.
No one missed, sir!
No sign of anyone.
No time for a bow!
No, l can't.
No, leave it! Don't
No, never mind.
No, no, no. Please don't cry.
No, no. We have 1 8 pulse...
No, thanks. l'm not...
No, we can't be too late.
No, you can't. Yes, you can! Come on, Arthur!
No!
No! Don't like this! Stop! Stop!
No! lt's just...
No! Not ye !
No! You promise...
No.
No.
No.
No. He's lying awake, worrying his beard off about Gwen.
No. l'm Santa.
No. No way.
Nobody lives here.
North Pole to S 1 , you have weather...
Not just a hobby, Arthur.
Not necessarily.
Not now...
Not quite, sir. You've lost one of the reindeer.
Not quite.
Not really an error, just a one.
Not S for Steve, sir.
Not that knob!
Not that one.
Not the 2 billion things l did right tonight. No!
Nothing matters!
Now get off the bike.
Now l've got to visit...
Now, do as l say.
Now, then, we'd better...
Now, where are we?
Now....
Of course not, dear.
Of course she's all that matters. Not me, your son.
Of course. l'm Santa.
Off to the land of nod.
Oh, come on, come on...
Oh, come on. Let's do it with worry!
Oh, crikey blikey...
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
Oh, Gwen.
Oh, it won't balance the sleigh. No, no. lf anything, it'll slow us down.
Oh, l don't know about that, Peter. Okay...
Oh, l was sure you'd die. lt was great!
Oh, look!
Oh, Malcolm.
Oh, no, no!
Oh, no, that's Peking.
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Oh, no! Maria!
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, right.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, thanks, Kenneth.
Oh, this is ridiculous. Could we hurry this?
Oh, what a night that was.
Oh, what fun it is to reach
Oh, where's the seat belt?
Oh, yeah. Run away...
Oi, soldier. Get off your baubles.
Oi!
Oi!
Oi! Come back!
Oi! That's me new hip.
Okay, go, go, go!
Okay, let's show them, people. Operation Santa Claus is coming to town.
Okay, so l'm not great with children.
Okay. Left out of the Oval Office, right at the Cabinet Room...
On Christmas night, he comes.
On that? Up there? Pulled by them?
On the old sleigh, with the reindeer and the magic dust and everything!
On this...
One breath.
One child doesn't matter? Which one?
One too many mince pies.
One!
One!
Only children get to tear the wrapping.
Oops a daisy.
Operational efficiency:
Or bumpy. l get travel sick. l'm allergic to snow.
Or high.
Or l can make extra Santas for everyone.
Our craft has to...
Out with the old Santa, in with the new, eh?
Out with the old, in with the new.
Over here, you string of tinsel.
Over there is Satellite...
Paris Zoo.
Pedro? A boy?
Permission to breathe, sir. l have about nine seconds left before l black out.
Peter...
Piffle!
Piffle. l did a microlight flying course on the lnternet.
Pishywibble, we're nearly there!
Please do not disturb until December 26th.
Please state your identity. State your identity.
Please, l'll read you Gwen's letter.
Please, let's....
Please.
Poland. Do you know what they call...
Polar bear, dear. Attacked me on the ice. Good l did that online survival course...
Poor Arthur. He tried so hard.
Poor Evie.
Poor old man and his reindeer, on our own at Christmas?
Prancer.
Press the red
Pressure of Christmas sends a man doolally tap.
Proceed to the highlighted route.
Proceed to the highlighted route.
Proceed to the highlighted....
Pushed it back down and carried on!
Put me down!
Put your back...
Ready?!
Really? Dear, oh, dear.
Remember 1 816...
Repeat: code red.
Retire?
Revise drop time to 14.1 3 seconds.
Right back to Saint Nick.
Right foot.
Right.
Right.
Right. Well, anyway, it goes really fast, even with bits missing.
Risk of mooing: 98 percent.
Robot Roy?
Roger that, Control.
Ruby Miller. That's Grace Smith.
Ruddy cheek. They're always putting...
Ruined it!
S 1 , hold drop altitude.
S for Santa.
Santa brought me the bike l wanted!
Santa Claus XVl got it, 1 802.
Santa has left the building.
Santa mustn't be seen, eh, lad?
Santa said they don't matter 1 00 percent.
Santa will want us to get to Gwen.
Santa, how can you get round the whole world in just one night?
Santa!
Santa!
Santa? Are you here?
Santa's head seems to be resting...
Santa's the most caring man in the world.
Scramble drone.
Screaming, "Santa didn't come!"
Season's greetings from mankind. Good morning, do you copy?
Security tracked her to Sector 1 9. And we think Arthur was here.
See, l take the North Star there...
See?
Serengeti National Park, Tanzania.
Shall l get you your stress ball?
Shall l slap him, sir? Quite hard?
She asked for a Pocket Puppy, but she wants the blue one.
She doesn't fit this world, Arthur. She's a relic.
She may never build a snowman again!
She runs away, alcoholic by the age of 9. Dead before she's even !
She wants...
She won't understand. She'll think she's the one kid in the world...
She'll feel so...
She's been missed!
She's right. You brought us to Africa! l've seen it on a stamp.
Shut the door!
Silent night Holy night
Sir, we've got something.
Sir?
Sir? Why is Arthur out there?
Sir...
Sir...
Sit next to Father, watching Steve on TV?
Sleep in
Sleep in
Sleep well.
SlTREP on special forces.
So did everyone else.
So did l.
So how come they didn't scrap the sleigh, sir?
So much for your brother's fancy pants technology.
So please let us go
So since gift delivery to child 47785BXK...
So was your dad.
So who am l, then?
So why are we taking it?
So why are you here, not him?
So, what are your orders?
So, what do they call this place?
So, what do you wish to say?
Some of the stamps l get are amazing.
Something else!
Something's coming through.
Sorry if l....
Sorry l can't pay you. Where l...
Sorry.
Sorry.
Stand by.
Stand up!
Standard issue giftwrap!
Steve and Dad racked their brains but said it's impossible.
Steve, three words.
Steve, you said if there was any way to get there, you would.
Steve!
Steve?
Steve.
Steve.
Steve...
Steven!
Stone deaf. l'm 1 36.
Straight ahead, left, right. You are at your client's dwelling.
Stuck that there for your dad when he was a boy.
Sun'll be up soon.
Sunrise at destination...
Support teams...
Systems critical.
Take her!
Take the elf!
Take us to your leader.
Technically, it's known as Africa.
Ten seconds to Flensburg.
Thank goodness he's too old these days to get into trouble.
Thank you, everyone.
Thank you, Peter. l'd love an espresso.
Thank you.
Thank you. lt's just checks for the boys and cash for Father.
Thanks, Steve.
Thanks. Brendon Doherty.
That detachable milk maid thing.
That idiot, Arthur. He's sent...
That l know
That space sends you back...
That'll be you there, Steve.
That's a plane, sir.
That's a steam train, you ninny.
That's a:
That's awful.
That's Gwen's gift!
That's it, lad.
That's it, that's it.
That's it, there!
That's it, there!
That's me Evie, you mangy moron!
That's what l wanted them to see.
That's why you came. Not for Gwen.
The church!
The church. She lives by the church!
The crazy wrapping elf, you know?
The elves alone!
The engine seems to be alive.
The GPS on my HOHO.
The hull is some kind of woody substance, ma'am.
The jingly bells, the sleigh on the roof.
The letter. The one l said.
The mission was a success.
The next Santa, and he's never even sat in a sleigh.
The odd stray. They breed in the drains. This way.
The old sleigh barn? That was sealed up...
The old sleigh is perfect!
The old sleigh. What is happening here?
The other pieces are good too.
The rest is just elf work.
The Santa who ruined Christmas.
The Santa who was seen. By everybody on Earth.
The Santas always come through Canada.
The Santas are leaving!
The sleigh on the roof, the eight beautiful reindeer...
The sleigh on the roof, the jingle bells, the eight reindeer.
The sleigh'll be back any minute.
The system is foolproof.
The tears as she finds she's been left out.
Then this is...
Then we'll finally have the whole family home for Christmas.
Then we'll pick up Arthur and Grandsanta from whatever ditch they ended up in.
Then you can be Santa next time.
There he is. Steve!
There it is!
There was a time when he cared about every last gift tag, but now...
There you go.
There!
There's a ribbon! To downstairs!
There's always time for a bow!
There's always time for a bow.
There's been a glitch.
There's millions like it.
They burst an inflatable...
They can see us.
They don't matter half each.
They got nothing?
They have elephants in France?
They missed the kid, but l got there. My way.
They should put him...
They used to say it was impossible to teach women to read.
They won't eat me.
They'll be waiting for us, sir. We were on the news.
They'll be way up in the sky, flying...
They'll just keep going in a straight line right round the world.
They're firing on us!
They're from China.
They're nearly done!
They've been watching us. They've seen Evie.
They've never flown before.
Think of your dad...
This drawing!
This figurehead thingy:
This is about that pool table, isn't it?
This is an error.
This is Germany, Father.
This is it, old fella.
This is just the beginning, right, sir?
This is mental But it's all
This is nice.
This is Santa!
This isn't France, is it?
This little girl.
This one, this one, this one. All of them.
This picture.
This was Greece, sir.
Three bits of sticky tape.
Three thousand miles to go
Three!
Three!
Three.
Three...
Till your brother came with...
Tinselitis!"
To Trelew!
Tonight we delivered...
Too busy.
Took 1 2 direct hits. Lost three reindeer.
Toronto. Present and correct.
Toronto's in Canada.
Trelew.
Trelew's on a course of 1 87.7 degrees from the geographic pole...
Try them again. Keep trying.
Turkey sandwich in fridge. Mum and Dad."
Turn back.
Two billion items delivered, and we didn't leave a footprint in the snow.
Two!
Until you retire.
Use your HOHO. Exit...
Used every Christmas night in history.
Wait! Look!
Wait! My slippers! They're not for outdoor use!
Waker!
Wanna wake up the North Pole?
Want to help me make a snowman?
Was supposed to be chopped up for firewood decades ago.
Watch out for cannibals.
Watch out. Careful...
We can get the sleigh back!
We can help them.
We can still get there.
We can't leave a child out of Christmas.
We Clauses used to be the only men...
We come in peace.
We could damage it.
We don't fly about...
We got to get you down there, lad.
We have a waker, sir.
We have a waker!
We have finer...
We have lock.
We have lost 80 percent of our data.
We have visual.
We made it!
We made it. l survived!
We must We must
We need a blunt instrument. Knock him out and regroup.
We need a sign for our slei
We should turn her off a mo.
We will get 47785BXK a present...
We'll fix this, Steve. We'll be back home in the wobble of a reindeer's buttocks.
We'll messenger the item. lt'll be there in five days.
We'll miss you, Santa!
We'll see it.
We're giving her the star treatment.
We're here. The little girl will get her present.
We're in the wrong Trelew!
We're one of them now.
We're scrapping the sleigh."
We've got no sleigh, no reindeer, and you can't even walk.
We've got this. Look!
Well done, dear.
Well done, dear.
Well done, us.
Well done. Yes.
Well, here's to me doing an even better job next year.
Well, in a way, yes.
Well, l.... lt's not that
Well, pull the camouflage lever.
Well, this is it. Look.
Well, you were right.
What a night, sir.
What about the wrapping?!
What are the others called? l could never ruddy remember. Bambi? John.
What are you doing?
What did you want, Grandsanta? Let me guess.
What does it say?
What happened to peace and goodwill to all men, sarge?
What happened...
What happened...
What if there are buttons on the sleigh l don't know about?!
What is it?
What is it?!
What night?
What now?
What picture?
What the ?!
What, in the last six minutes?
What, you're not coming?
What?
What's all this here for if you miss one?
What's going on?!
What's so funny?
What's the point? Look at us.
Whatever your brother says, Arthur...
When Santa said he'd be right back...
When you put the address into...
Where's the champagne?
Which was not Trelew, England.
White House. Delivering to the president's children, sir.
Who else leaves the door open, huh, sir?
Who would l be?
Who'd know that?
Who's Santa now?
Why don't you ask Steve? He can explain. Fiendishly clever.
Why don't you be the candle, Steve?
Why on earth would he ?
Will you get ?
With a gun!
With horns!
Worry me.
Wow, a grand piano. This kid must have been good his whole life.
Ye baubles, a beautiful young reindeer.
Ye baubles, an elf.
Ye baubles. And you a son of Santa?
Yeah, l'm pretty much scared of everything.
Yeah.
Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.
Yes, that's a great idea.
Yes. Now...
You
You are sitting on a level one access HOHO.
You bring a genuine aura of seasonal positivity.
You came! l knew you would.
You can go to Gwen!
You can't do this. Yes, you can!
You can't just go home. What about Gwen?
You can't rush the Signalator.
You crack it over your head.
You distract him!
You do it, Arthur.
You do know we're going round in circles?
You drive, Steven.
You get old, that's all.
You go on. We'll let them have her.
You have to deliver the present.
You just saved Christmas.
You keep this.
You know how Steve feels about his S 1 .
You know the picture they'll have tomorrow?
You know, l sometimes think l couldn't do it without you.
You know, l've always liked Arthur. Do you think he likes espresso?
You know, we're not the only ones. Maybe l will see Evie again.
You know...
You made it happen, lad. No one got left out.
You may be next in line, but you'll never get to be Santa unless you knock him off.
You missed one?
You see...
You smell like a wet elf.
You there, with the...
You think of everything, sir.
You too.
You too.
You want to order me to go through the cat flap?
You were fantastic!
You were right, Arthur. lt doesn't matter how Santa's gift gets there.
You wouldn't just go to bed and forget Gwen.
You wouldn't understand, Father.
You, led away in handcuffs!
You? Up there? Catch that with this?
You'd be my Malcolm, dear.
You'll have to focus. The sleigh'll be coming at you at 45,000 miles an hour.
You're a Claus. You give the orders.
You're better men than....
You're coming too, lad.
You're coming too.
You're hardly perfect.
You're his brother, Steve. How could you let him?
You're just like Arthur.
You're our Santa.
You're Santa!
You've dented it! You take it out without asking?
You've got your special coat on.
Your brother...
Your request for a pink Twinkle Bike will be passed on to Santa.
1 368 miles, then slight left.
23 Mimosa Avenue, Trelew, Cornwall, England."
23 Mimosa Avenue, Trelew.
going down the "chimbley."
...37 minutes? lt's not...
...already perfect, Dad. That turkey did more than him.
...an elephant. What are you doing here?
...been missed! Arthur!
...data reservoirs of a trillion terabytes! Sorry, autosave was off.
...in ldaho. Had eyeballs on its feet...
...it's the North Pole! Kid still asleep? He mustn't see Santa.
...miles an hour. No, no. Thanks.
...Mr. Postman in his spaceship. As long as it gets there.
...nothing under the tree. Here we go.
...optimized. Roger, S 1 .
...or there'd be one less for turkey. Christmas has...
...prep Poland. Poland.
...reporting a steam train flying around. Steam train? Been on the eggnog?
...right over our heads. Great!
...somewhere out of harm's way. What, like the South Pole?
...these beings do not appear friendly. Rebooting.
...to Lapland. Malcolm, where did you get those?
...to the elf? Fell out of the sleigh over Lake Geneva.
...too high! Gwen in the street...
...trying to mate with a dog. l have calls...
A death ray! Made of chocolate...
A stowaway! l can wrap anything...
All right? l'll never walk...
Am l? North Pole...
And now Sir?
And risk the lives of the elves. Oh, my. No.
And the map. But it's okay.
Arthur. Sorry. Can l just ?
Automatic tape guns! Down, doggy!
Battery clear. Oh, no.
Blast them from the skies! Let us do an autopsy.
Buckle down, people. Buckle down.
But this child lt's a...
Can l burn this? Sure.
Carry on. Update national protocol.
Checking twice. A wrap for Denmark.
Child CG786K? Look, Arthur....
Come on, then. l think it's under the tree!
Converting milk and cookies to biofuel. Hello?
Dad would rather die than spoil it. What if you...
Did those matter? What about my ones...
Drop complete. Drop complete.
Elf, wrap your head. Sir!
Everybody, panic! Are you sure you want...
Father, please keep it down. Merry Christmas, everyone.
Figurehead. lt means...
Found it. What?
FRC And a happy New Year.
Gift secured! Just can't be.
Grandsanta! Who's there?
He's flunked again. Of course...
He's waving at me! At me!
Head south! lt's all south from here, you fool!
How did that devious ? Old people, sir.
l didn't, in fact, technically You said l could drive!
l forced you? You see? Look.
l got eyes. Grandsanta!
l remember once Wow, must catch up soon. Now....
l'm Santa! No, no, l'm Santa. lt's ridiculous.
Let's hitch them up. Oh, Grandsanta.
Letters, of course. l'm so sorry. You moved me...
ln a heap of sticks. "Heap of "?
ls that it, dear? Yes.
ls that...? The map of the Clauses.
ls the first one "help"? Yes.
lt just can't be. lt can't. lt just can't be! What's all this...
lt's a city! A new one?
lt's Arthur. Hooray for Arthur!
lt's just like last time. Governments tonight...
lt's tracking something electronic! We haven't got...
Making a list. Check it twice.
Men. Margaret, l order you to disembark.
Merry Christmas. Want...
Next year. But you're...
No. The herd is now in...
No. This is your department. What'll we do?
Oh, Arthur. Commence...
One hundred percent. Hold the handrail.
Peter. Ready, sir.
Quick! The alarm? Definitely, yes.
Ready? Do it!
S 1 dented. Sir. Sir!
Santa on bridge. Sorry.
Santa's waving! He's waving at me!
Sarah. Back! Holly injury coming through!
Screwdriver elf. Yes!
Seventeen. Specific mission regulations.
She's got her own power source! Five seconds...
Sings "Old MacDonald Had A Farm." The moment...
Sir? Goodness me.
So many countries these days. lt's a big night, sir.
Steve! Tell him...
Straighten that teddy bear, soldier. Ma'am.
Thank you, soldier. Has someone...
That's us! The clearest...
The S 1 . Right o. No! The S 1 ...
The sun's coming up! Come on, lad! You can...
There you are. Down. Watch that rock!
They'll see us! We'll be stopped! Give me that.
Twist ties clear. Can l watch with you, Grandsanta?
Two! Yes!
We are online, sir. This is...
We did it, we did it! We did it!
We just have to go faster, higher! You've changed your tune.
We're on our way, Steve. No!
We're on the news. From the trail in Toronto...
What a puzzle. This one's for me, dear.
What a terrible thing. Let us attempt contact...
What are you doing? lt's Evie they're after.
What do you mean? Reindeer are...
What elf? Bryony Shelfley, sir.
What must we do, Steven? There's nothing to do.
What? Malcolm, what's this about Arthur?
What's that? lt's Steve.
What's the matter, boy? l'm having...
Where are they? America, sir.
Where is this UFO? lt's circling the Earth, ma'am.
Who asked you? l wasn't called up for field duty.
Whose is it? No one...
Would have won anyway. What?
Wow, brilliant. Mind the glasses.
Yes. You're the nonexecutive figurehead. Exactly.
You are at your destination. Yes!
You can help us, Steve! lt was him!
You did it! l did it with worry!
You just took the piece out of my hand. Well, l am actually Santa...
You really care. Well, of course...
You're gonna make it, soldier. Aarhus is merry.
Your slipper! Your slipper!
...2 billion presents.
...44, 43....
...47785BXK.
...a heart attack.
...a map, lad!
...a picture of Biffo. See?
...a ride?
...a small trauma to your giftwrap...
...a squirrel!
...a toy! Well, it is...
...a trip on the S 1 , Arthur?
...after l tripped over that plug and melted down the elf barracks.
...after that terrible night Grandsanta sneaked out and....
...amilocitrate."
...and a pointy little head. lt asked me for a sign.
...and brass and
...and brilliant picture.
...and buttons.
...and drawing of Santa tripping over your dog.
...and find Arthur and Father.
...and just clicked on the first one?
...and oranges. Unidentified...
...and perform a Level 3 giftwrap incision.
...and Santa Me!
...and see all this.
...and some nice sweet tea.
...and that thing!
...and the look on her face....
...and you two are bickering over a big red toy?!
...and you, Father, are, of course, Santa.
...any "electrickery." Just wood...
...are waking to news of a UFO traveling the globe at incredible speed.
...as a cheese chopstick.
...as a fixed point. Then l plot my bearings from....
...at all for the rest of the night?
...at unimaginable speed, but they'll pass...
...beard off with worry over this girl.
...because of exponential population growth?
...been missed!
...between the two nations.
...bossed about by Tinpot Tom.
...brave, powerful beasts...
...but Arthur did.
...but as it's the old sleigh...
...but be ready to save our planet.
...but l can fix it.
...but they're also dappled cretins with twigs on their heads.
...but, l mean, that's not
...BXK....
...by an unknown danger.
...Charlotte. Mexican...
...code 1 2. Code 12!
...come from, we don't have...
...come on. Child 47785BXK...
...comms than the Pentagon, and you say...
...Dad here?
...decades ago...
...decking halls.
...did the whole thing with six reindeer and a drunken elf!
...do it! Move your hooves!
...down side.
...draw in a few...
...EMF sensor technology hacked directly from the military's missile program.
...everyone crazy.
...fluctuation. Update camouflage.
...from all the children in the world?
...get here!
...gets the wrong...
...gone right down the rodney hole. You're a postman with a spaceship.
...got the wrong present? That's awful.
...had a heart attack at the reins. Left ventricle popped out me mouth.
...has just traveled 7 million miles.
...he hasn't, dear.
...he just wants to be loved and get some rest.
...his "You can't cut through Saigon, there's a war" rubbish.
...holding the fort...
...how come l can't see your house when l look on Google Earth?
...if the one that got missed doesn't matter...
...in a perfect state...
...in every room! Had to go under the floor!
...in Germany? One of them was twins!
...in half!
...in Letters.
...in that crazy flying death trap ever again!
...in the world who could fly, Arthur...
...into it!
...is 7:39 a.m. There's no way to get there in time.
...is all that seems...
...is shoe on front step. Repeat, shoe on step.
...it was the Cuban missile crisis! l nearly started World War lll.
...it would make you and the sleigh and the reindeer all burn up.
...it's Arthur. He's still going.
...it's the same old world.
...kadoodle, young man?
...knows about these things.
...l bet.
...l do. l was Santa too.
...l ran into Chicago.
...l wonder if Gwen is right.
...l'll do it myself.
...l'm gonna bump into you.
...l'm not here!
...l'm really not sure you made the right decision.
...l'm sorry your family's had a hard year, but Santa is real.
...l've upgraded you to the Glamorfast Ultra X 3...
...left out.
...let go of my hand, please.
...let's bring them home.
...look over a treaty with Greenland and make the gravy.
...lying awake, chewing his...
...many years ago, my father told me...
...Margaret, who's stood by me all these years...
...margin of error of 0.00000001 514834 percent...
...me and your granddad saw some times!
...money!
...Mozambique's airspace, threatening the fragile peace...
...my 70th mission!
...not some spaceship.
...not to go too fast?
...now you're losing!
...of enwrapment, then l'm your elf.
...of the meridian. Got a sweater for Arthur...
...on some sort of "try me" button, sir.
...one!
...Operational and Homing Organizer. The HOHO 3000.
...or it'll think it's been bad. lt's a win win.
...or Steve.
...or you...
...people.
...police found a furry thing...
...present. 47785...
...probably not wearing nearly enough layers...
...re engage.
...really rough.
...rely on me.
...revised. Picking this up...
...risky, this.
...Santa Claus in Toronto. On Christmas night!
...Santa never sat in my Evie...
...seen it before.
...sighting was at this tractor dealership...
...sir, with three bits of sticky tape. Three!
...skyscratchers. Just....
...sling your hook.
...so l think l should have it.
...something to shoot at.
...special magic.
...stand back
...stuff...
...stupid. Either it won't know it got missed...
...such a mad rush.
...surrounded by kids on new bikes, pointing:
...tear downstairs, search under the tree...
...terrible night all over again.
...than anything we know of.
...that being Santa is the best job in the world.
...that in an operation as complex as Christmas...
...that Santa doesn't care about.
...that women do when their husbands work. Marvelous.
...that you'd have to go so fast...
...the elf hospital...
...the heroes of the night, sir!
...the HOHO, what did you see?
...the night l last took Evie out...
...the wrapping, the box and 14 twist ties anchoring it to the cardboard.
...the wrapping! That is not...
...then a number and some sort of percent at the end.
...there's a polar bear on Level 6.
...there's always an insignificant margin of error...
...there's nine houses in my road so that's nearly 1 0 minutes.
...there's no harm in using a manual.
...these things up.
...they don't remember.
...this is Dad we're talking about.
...throwing lead painted toys down chimneys anymore.
...till she starts singing!
...to balance the sleigh?
...to Christmas spirit, there'd be chaos.
...to delete Christmas?
...to going down the "chimbley"? Never did me any har
...to matter...
...to show me how it's really done?
...to Steve.
...too late yet.
...Tracking, Navigation, Data Analysis.
...trained in wrapping.
...travel around the world in less than an hour!
...turn back or we shoot.
...turn left.
...two...
...using his...
...varnished object...
...very ably doing all that...
...very good with heights, speed...
...via the air vents.
...vital work in Maintenance, really vital.
...wake the odd nipper? A whack...
...we can do it!
...we can't contact him except by some ancient
...what do you think he ?
...when Santa was seen. They tracked him home.
...when there was all that fuss...
...where are you?
...where they keep the lions!
...which is you. As a gesture...
...which retails at 9.99 more than your requested gift.
...while l deliver the present, yes...
...white ear. And you.
...who l used to be.
...who used to sit where you sat, looking up at me.
...why have Arthur and Grandsanta gone to take it?
...with a sock of sand, dab of whiskey on the lips...
...within the window of Christmas.
...without a single reindeer being roasted ali
...without any of this malarkey.
...Wrapping Division. Grade 3, sir.
...you deserve to be Santa.
...you sack of antlers.
...you'll have to take the batteries out.
...your father came to me.
...your father lifts his head, there'll be 1 0 seconds of constant mooing.
...your father's pills...
...your first time?
"A glitch"? We've missed a child!
"Atlantis"?
"Christmas crackers. Sing 'Silent Night' backwards."
"Dad," he says.
"Dear Arthur, what a puzzle."
"Dear Santa, my friend doesn't believe in you.
"Error"?
"Gift undelivered"?
"He belongs in the South Pole."
"Here be cannibals"?
"Ho, ho, ho" Aarhus.
"Popped out to take present.
"Potash of carboniloroxy...
"Relic"? "Relic"?
"Steve thinks it best you don't fly again.
"That's the girl that Santa hates!"
"Toronto."
"What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
45,000 ? You'll be torn...
600AM3. Gift secured.
