The Brady Bunch (1969) - Season 4 Edit

A dollar.

A good joke to start it off with.

A mean, dirty killer.

A mean, dirty killer.

A mean, dirty killer... a mean, dirty killer...

A whole lot of innocent people.

About how it was with your father?

About our progress in city planning.

Ah, that ought to turn them on.

Alice, Mr. Brady and I have to go see the principal.

All right, now, everybody,

All right.

All right...

All you women to the rear of the bank.

Am I coming through loud and clear?

Amen.

Amen.

And black.

And boiled till it's miserable.

And how you were such a great hero.

And I am extraditing you into my den right now.

And it's got a whole bunch of eyewitness accounts

And keep us ever mindful of Thy bountiful blessings.

And later she was made a saint.

And running around it until you're all in.

And that's all the way from Arizona!

And that's it.

And wallets in the aisle.

And we won't be gone long. Okay, Mr. Brady.

And you get it!

As el presidente of Mexico,

As I'll ever be with this speech.

At the library the other day.

Aw, Dad, he wouldn't shoot anybody.

Aw, honey, we're not getting mad at you.

Aw, pleasure to meet you, Mr. Collins.

Aw, sweetheart, you are a lifesaver.

Awful nightmares... About that train robbery.

Bad news.

Bang!

Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! Stop! That's my family!

Be calm, everybody.

Be tomorrow's folk heroes.

Because all of Mexico's gonna get mopped up.

Because that's the kind of a man Jesse James was...

Because that's the kind of man Jesse James was...

Before I launch into my subject for this evening...

Bob, it isn't the grade.

Bob, this is Mr. Collins.

Bobby, did you know that almost everything

Bobby, he was famous because he robbed and killed

Bobby, there are lots of great heroes

Bobby, what have we been talking about?

Bobby, what we mean is,

Bobby, would you leave us alone?

Bobby, you heard your father... That's it.

Bobby? Bobby, what's the matter?

Bobby.

Bobby.

Boy, isn't Jesse nice to give that girl a ride?

Boys, what's going on? In here!

But I have to arrest him first.

But I think this is where

But in actual fact, he was just a criminal.

But, Dad, they... No buts!

But, Dad...

But... but this is my family.

Bye, honey. Good bye.

Bye.

Ca... oh. I'm right here, honey.

Can I ask you something?

Can I look, too?

Carol?

Carol?

Certainly. I hope they were helpful.

Close the door.

Coffee, no.

Come in.

Come in. Thanks for coming.

Come on, boy!

Cookies! Ha ha! Cookies.

Dad could have stuck his speech

Dad, Mom, could I ask a favor?

Dad's speech... there's a reward out for whoever finds it.

Did it ever.

Did they have a shoot out?

Did you know his father actually knew Jesse James?

Do as he says, and nobody gets shot.

Do I have to? Yes!

Don't anybody move.

Don't shoot! Please, stop!

Elementary school?

Even a U.S. marshal can't arrest you

Everybody stay in your seats till I jump off.

Face the window... Your backs to me.

Fat chance I got of being Father of My Country.

Fellow architects... honored guests...

For a dollar, it's worth a look.

For a minute? Sure.

Forget it, Deputy.

Get it?

Good bye, honey.

Good luck on the speech, honey.

Good luck.

Good man.

Good, Alice. Girls, don't forget the salad forks.

Good. Oh, Bobby's teacher might never have brought

Good. Oh, honey, I'd like you to meet Mr. Collins.

Great. But I I I wanted

Greg, stop! Let me out!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha! Ha!

Hands up!

He did?

He did?

He didn't say... But when the principal calls,

He knows better than to bring a cap gun to school.

He lived in Sundale.

He shoots the prospector in the back,

He was a real bad guy.

He wasn't?

He's his hero.

He's my hero.

He's telling you the truth, Bobby.

Hello?

Hey, great. No, no, no, we'll look here.

Hey, how's the speech coming?

Hey, listen, I remember a joke that might fit.

Hey, wait a minute, you forgot to kiss me.

Hi, honey. I didn't hear you come in.

Hi. Oh, hello. Hello, son.

His hands in the air and not wearing a gun.

Hm, maybe Bobby ought to read it.

Hmm. I feel sure I can

Honey, can't we put the light out in the old bunkhouse?

Honey, it's got to be about architects.

Honey, Jesse James must've killed

Honey, this cowhand needs a little shut eye.

How do you do? I'm Mike Brady.

How you happened to write it.

I can't believe that, Mr. Collins.

I did? Yeah.

I didn't mean to pull the trigger.

I didn't realize it was going to be this much research.

I don't ever want to see another gun again.

I even wrote a composition about you

I finished my research. Good.

I give you permission to take this hombre prisoner.

I got a better idea...

I got a C plus.

I had to write about a hero once.

I had to. It was an assignment.

I hear California's really beautiful.

I hear Jesse's a hero of yours.

I hear that we have just torn down a freeway

I just crossed the Rio Grande River.

I just know it'll be a big hit.

I never thought I'd get to meet you!

I put it right here last night.

I said hands up!

I still like mine cooked over an open fire

I think this is the scene

I think you're gonna find this gentleman very interesting.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

I thought I was the only one who bought a copy.

I used to have nightmares about it myself...

I won't play with it again.

I wonder which kid has done what to who and where.

I would like to make a very important announcement

I wrote a whole book about Jesse James...

I wrote a whole composition about him for school.

I'd give that about five more minutes, Mrs. Brady.

I'd like to check these books in, please.

I'd rather have factual accounts of his life.

I'll just rob me a different bank.

I'll probably just grow out of it.

I'm around here for the second time.

I'm glad to hear it.

I'm really surprised at Bobby.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I'm sorry. Honey, look, it's my speech.

I'm turning in my guns.

I've been thinking over what you told me on the phone.

I've got some.

If you find the speech I lost... it's on paper just like this.

If you'll excuse me, I'll get Bob.

Imagine Bobby watching a picture like that.

In finding some books on Jesse James.

In his pocket and forgot it.

In modern buildings.

In the biography of the author,

In the eyes of the children.

Into the bank vault, both you varmints.

Is it ever good news?

Is it okay?

Is that all I get?

Is that true, Alice?

Isn't it great to be going to California?

It disturbs me

It gives me great pleasure

It says when this book was written, at any rate,

It sounds wonderful.

It was awful.

It was in a very strange place.

It was the worst dream in the whole world.

It was written by a fellow

It's got to be here someplace. I've been all over this house.

It's just that... none of us are architects.

It's not in this one.

It's the world famous Jesse James.

Jesse James did was against the law?

Jesse James held it up.

Jesse James is a real great guy.

Jesse James killed my father.

Jesse James on the Vengeance Trail.

Jesse James was a cruel and vicious killer.

Jesse James will be even more of a hero to him now.

Jesse James, you're under arrest.

Jesse James!

Jesse James?

Jesse James?

Jesse James?!

Jesse, no, no!

Jesse, no!

Jesse, stop! No! Bang! Bang!

Joan of Arc.

Junior high? Senior high?

Just eat your pizza.

Just get lost.

Just give me your money, lady.

Just when we were trying to prove a point.

Knock it off.

Ladies, could I have your attention

Leave him in there for two hours, huh?

Let me out!

Let me out! Let me...

Let's just wait and see what happens.

Like a... a very colorful Western character to you,

Listen, I will give you an extra dollar

Listen, right now he may seem

Look what's happening today.

Looking for something.

Mike, I forgot what happens here.

Mine got an A.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. As a matter of fact,

Mmm.

Mom, Dad, I've come here

Move it, Jesse.

Mr. Chairman, fellow architects and Mike Brady.

Mr. Chairman, fellow architects, honored guests...

Mr. Chairman... ladies and gentlemen...

Mr. Collins, this is Mrs. Brady.

Mr. Collins, this is our son Bob.

Mr. Collins, why don't you tell Bob

Mr. Collins.

My allowance.

My brie... I put it in my briefcase

My father was riding a train to California.

My father with his face to the wall,

My husband happens to be at home right now, as a matter of fact.

My mother used to cry about it in her sleep.

My pal Jimmy wrote about Robin Hood.

Next time, whoever he is, he's gonna be a real good guy.

No doors? How do you get in?

No more Jesse James, Bob. Now, that's an order!

No toys at the table, and especially cap guns.

No way. You can't arrest me here.

No, I'm not. Now I'm the posse hunting you down.

No, it was a very interesting book.

No, please, stop, Jesse! Bang! Bang!

No! No!

No! You shot my dad!

Nobody gets Jesse James.

Nobody got mad at Jimmy.

Nobody tells Jesse James to get lost.

Nope.

Not in that one, either.

Now it's not here. Well, don't get too upset. We'll find it.

Now that you've got the bank vault open, just empty it out.

Now, everybody throw your purses

Now, I want this to stop.

Now, that may be easier for you to understand

Now, there's a hero.

Of being a woman than I have.

Of the killings in here.

Oh, hello, Mr. Hillary.

Oh, how dumb.

Oh, I hope so. I just wish I had

Oh, I'm glad to know someone read my book.

Oh, not long, son.

Oh, okay.

Oh, sure, honey...

Oh, sure. Love to hear it.

Oh! Great, honey!

Okay, joke's over. Come on, split.

Okay, Mom. We won't.

Okay, now...

Okay, stick 'em up, both of you.

Okay.

On television, and I've never seen it.

Once you get into Mexico.

One dollar. Wow.

One wrong move from anybody on this train,

Only he wasn't a hero to me.

Ought to get together.

Personally, I like George Washington.

Please don't shoot me, Mr. James.

Please sit down.

Pleasure to meet you.

Pretending to hold up the other kids.

Principal?

Read books and see movies that glorify men like Jesse James,

Right.

Right. Today's criminals will probably

Robin Hood was against the law.

Salt, pepper, cookies, cookies, cookies.

Salt, pepper, uh... cookies.

She saw visions, and she won battles.

She was a great woman.

Shot him in the back.

So I guess I'm not bothering you, huh?

So, could I try it out on you? Yeah!

Son, you know the legends; I know the facts.

Sorry it only got a C plus.

Stay.

Straighten out that boy of yours.

Sure.

Take Wilt Chamberlain, for instance.

Tell us about it.

Thank you, ma'am.

Thank you.

Thanks for letting me watch the show.

Thanks.

That had no doors in it at all.

That talk with Mr. Collins really got through to you, huh?

That was before the credits.

That's how he usually shot them.

That's my dad!

That's not far from here, is it?

That's not too bad.

That's okay for you.

That's right.

That's the joke!

The cattle drive starts early in the morning.

The great Jesse James just got captured. Let me out!

The network took out all the violence

The outlaw?

The press write stories about gangsters and skyjackers.

The use of ancient architecture

Then he rides off with the daughter as a... hostage.

Then why did Jesse James shoot him?

There, that's all I have.

They edited it out.

They make them seem very glamorous

They skipped another scene where they killed everybody.

They skipped the whole incident.

This composition to my attention if it hadn't been for this.

This is Mexico.

This was an area where the, uh, parents and the school

Though I'm sure he doesn't intend

To discuss a very delicate matter.

To help us with our son, Bob.

To kind of start out with a joke,

To make a profession out of being an outlaw.

To make room for a slum.

To tell you that I found your speech.

Too cowardly to face them, I guess.

Turn them into folk heroes.

Uh, Bobby wrote an English composition about him.

Um, so I come in, and I say...

We have had enough Jesse James around here,

We have several good books on his life right over there.

We have told you before,

We really appreciate it, Mr. Hillary.

We thought it'd be a good idea for you to see.

We're just delighted when our library can be useful.

We're just interested in knowing

Well, at recess, he was playing Jesse James,

Well, could I stay up just a little bit after my bedtime tonight?

Well, don't be, Mrs. Brady.

Well, I never disturb a genius at work.

Well, I think I'm as ready

Well, I was just a little boy at the time.

Well, I'm not sure I remember,

Well, I've almost finished my speech for the convention.

Well, it wasn't much of a shoot out.

Well, it wasn't the first time, so I thought

Well, this is one movie about Jesse James

Well, vamoose, you caballeros,

Well, we'll certainly discuss this

Well, we'll certainly have a talk with him.

Well, we're telling you. Get lost.

Well, when he said he'd probably grow out of it.

Well, you just have to be careful

Well, you just keep running around it

Well... I guess 'cause he's famous.

Well... it's called... You see...

Well... to architects, i it might be funny, huh?

What about Jesse James?

What am I looking for?

What are you doing?

What do you mean?

What do you want them to do that for, Jesse?

What for?

What we're interested in is

What?

What?

What?

What? My allowance... you forgot.

What'd you expect?

What's it called?

What's it going to be about?

What's the matter?

What's the picture?

When I was doing research

When I was old enough to understand,

When impressionable children like Bobby

When you get a little older.

Where he robs the bank.

Where?

Where'd you find it?

Which principal?!

Who are around right now.

Who designed a building

Who you pick for a hero, hmm?

Who'd you write it on?

Whoa! Easy, boy.

Whoa.

Whose father was killed by Jesse James,

Why did you choose Jesse James for your hero?

Why not?

Why you chose to write about Jesse James, that's all.

Why, so I can shoot 'em, of course.

Will you beat it?

With Bobby, Mr. Hillary.

With these new trains, it only takes

Would you like some coffee?

Wow, am I glad to meet you!

Wow! Jesse didn't even use a gun.

Wow! Look at Jesse ride!

Yeah, go pass the word along to the rest of the kids.

Yeah, how long before we get there?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Yeah, imagine.

Yeah, it is. It's about this architect

Yeah, maybe you've got a point.

Yeah, now, there's a great guy for you to follow.

Yeah, some chance I've got of being seven foot two.

Yeah, well, just to make sure.

Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Boys... BOBBY: Let me out!

Yeah. He shoots all the customers in the back.

Yeah. I got a better idea.

Yeah. Uh, I was interested

Yes, but I didn't want, uh, novels.

Yes, sir, that's me.

Yes, sir.

Yes, they were.

Yes, this is Mrs. Brady.

Yes, we can both come over.

Yes, we'll see you in a little while. Thank you.

Yes?

Yes. Okay, Mr. Hillary.

You and that dumb Jesse James.

You can't do that! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

You can't. You have to have extradition papers.

You get in the bank vault, Jesse.

You go look around the house.

You know, I think you're gonna be able

You know, maybe Bobby had the answer to this himself.

You know, on the flyleaf,

You know, this is a very interesting book.

You must have been having a bad dream.

You see, there's this really neat movie

You were right about Jesse James.

You'll never get me.

You're supposed to be on the train.

You're talking to Jesse James, partner.

You've got a lot better chance

Your briefcase.

18 days to get to California.

45 people in that picture.

'cause I want to do something to get their attention.

"'My Hero, ' by Robert Brady.

"and his name is... Jesse James."

"He was a great American

"just like Robin Hood and the Three Musketeers.

"My hero is a very famous man,

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ That this group must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That this group must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ Till the one day when the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪