That '70s Show - Season 2 Edit

A "Maverick."

After we do... that... thing...

Ah, geez, Edith, I didn't forget nothin' there.

Ah, geez, Edith, no time for the kisses there. The fight's about to start.

All men take all women for granted...

All right, come on, now, Jackie.

All the time.

Always fun?

And enjoy our special pancakes.

And he told me to put my heart out

And I realize I may have overreacted.

And I'm alone a lot. So let's be alone together.

And then Eric says, "You can come if you want."

And you're not.

Anything for you, doll.

Are you sure?

Aunt Pearl!

B But, Hyde, I thought we agreed that you were alone, and I was alone...

Back ee

Back on me

Because I've taken special precautions to prevent that very thing from happening.

Before she realizes how much better off she is without you.

Besides, I'm saving a fortune now that I don't have to feed and clothe Michael.

Blah, blah, blah. Make the call, little man.

Break up with Eric now, before it's too late.

Burn!

But I notice you're alone a lot.

But I think if I left, you'd really miss me.

But I thought after me and Michael broke up...

But I'll tell you what... I'm even more glad I'm not you.

But if I didn't know you, and I had never talked to you...

But what about...

But what if I never find anybody else?

But you can come if you want.

But, Daddy, you told Ma you were taking her out tonight.

Come on, man. It's gonna be fine. Okay?

Come on, Pearl! There's a Bucks game on!

Como si fuera esta noche

Cupid

Do I have to ask you, uh, before I go out with my friends?

Does someone have cancer?

Don't be a jerk, Eric.

Don't be ridiculous, Mom. Eric'll come.

Don't get Archie Bunker y on me, or I will kick your ass to the moon!

Don't sleep with other women.

Donna, have you noticed that every time we do the...

Donna, I think by "cute" you mean...

Donna, no apology necessary.

Eat 'em while they're hot. There's plenty.

Every time you people come, I gotta get dressed and put my teeth in.

Fine. "Something nice."

For future reference...

Get out!

Gloria, I just looked at her! She was giving me change!

Go on, now. Go!

Go talk on your own damn porch!

Go, Bucks.

Go! You heard him! Go!

God, I miss Jackie.

Gotcha!

Here's the thing. You're assuming that you're good enough for Donna.

Hey, baby. What say you grab Papa a root beer, huh?

Hey, but, uh, you can come too, if you want.

Hey, Eric, what rhymes with "Donna"?

Hey, fellas.

Hey, Jackie.

Hey, pal, you think you're funny?

Hey, that's kinda good.

Hey!

Hey. What's going on?

How about this one:

Hyde, those boots look really nice on you.

Hyde!

I am not your slave or a waitress or your damn maid.

I ate your damn pudding. So go!

I can still eat, but...

I can't sleep.

I can't think.

I cannot take this anymore.

I didn't mean to cheat but she forced me

I don't have to go, do I? I've already been to see her three times this year.

I don't know, Donna. I just don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I think he's sorta taking me for granted

I don't know. I'm just worried.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just overreacting

I don't love you.

I don't really feel like an "Eric."

I don't think I did anything wrong.

I find you abrasive.

I got it! I'll write her a song!

I gotta win her back...

I gotta win Jackie back

I just asked her for a root beer.

I just hope when I get old someone comes to visit me.

I love being on the short leash.

I mean, if he's acting like this now...

I mean, my life has no meaning.

I see.

I think I feel more like a "Stan."

I think I feel more like a "Stan."

I welcome your insane behavior and criticism.

I wouldn't wanna hang out here anymore.

I, uh... I suppose...

I'd think you were totally hot.

I'll buy.

I'll get

I'm actually... I'm being serious.

I'm dead inside.

I'm really sorry.

I'm willing to do...

I'm... I'm here for you, Donna.

I've been thinking about... you know, what happened...

If you ask my opinion, maybe you just forgot.

If you're trying to bribe me with these boots, you can just take 'em back.

Imagine what he'll be like if we get, like...

Is to let her date other people... foreign exchange people.

Isn't she nice?

It is...

It was a look.

It was very special.

It's all you can eat.

It's just I'm a little vulnerable...

It's worth it.

Jackie, I'm trying to help you out here, so just listen to me.

Jackie, please take me

Jackie...

Kelso, uh, let me see that for a second.

Kelso, we've been over this. There is no crying in the circle.

Laurie, say something nice.

Laurie, she kinda likes you. Do something.

Let's go, kid.

Let's just go.

Listen, Donna...

Listen, you worm.

Look, do you really think I wanted to spend the whole damn day...

Look! We're alone right now!

Man, I am so glad Donna's not Jackie.

Man...

Married or something.

Maybe the best way to get Jackie back...

Maybe we should call ahead.

Me too.

Michael, I don't wanna talk to you!

Mom, you only make Swedish pancakes...

No offense.

No, Donna. You're underreacting.

No, Hyde, I want you to have them.

No, I meant friends like Donna.

No, it's okay.

No, man, I think a song is a really great idea.

No, Michael. It wasn't a look.

No, no one has horrible cancer.

No, no, uh...

No, wait.

No, you're right. Okay? Because words don't do it. That's why I wrote this song.

No! Bad Jackie!

No.

No.

No. I can't really think of one, no.

No. What's his name's right. That's the problem.

No. You go. Have fun.

Nobody needs to see that.

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Now can we go?

Now that our relationship has... matured.

Now, let's just sit down as a family...

Now, you go call Donna...

Oh, come on! All I'm asking is for a quick visit. Quick, quick, quick.

Oh, Eric, you have so much to learn, my friend.

Oh, for God's sakes, Kitty!

Oh, geez!

Oh, God.

Oh, hi, Archie!

Oh, hi, Mr. Forman.

Oh, man. You're crying.

Oh, my God, Jackie.

Oh, my God. I cannot look.

Oh, my!

Oh, my! Please don't fight.

Oh, no catch.

Oh, so that's what smells.

Oh, that's too bad. I'm hanging out with Jackie.

Oh, uh, I told Kelso and Fez I'd hang out with them.

Oh, what are you gonna do now? Cry?

Oh, yeah, that's the other thing.

Oh, yeah, that's the other thing.

Oh, yeah! Your father's taking me out tonight.

Okay, fine. I give up.

Okay, Michael, stop! Michael, stop.

Okay.

Okay. Cool.

On my sleeve

Ooh! We could take a cruise!

Or a...

Or a...

Or... a "Chuck."

Or... not me.

Ouch.

Our love from the

Pearl, honey, please come out.

Plus five different colors of Jell O.

Put the short leash

Really? Oh.

Red, can you believe this family?

Right?

Right?

Right. So, let's go to the mall

Ruggedly handsome.

Save yourself the heartache, Donna.

Say, kids, how about a nice trip to old Aunt Pearl's?

See, I myself don't like you.

See? 'Cause Laurie's the whore. You get it?

She downright coerced me

Shut up, you meathead you!

Sitting in a room with a woman who hates the Bucks and smells like cabbage?

So get me a beer and stifle there.

So I made a call to

So my calendar is wide open.

So we can retrieve

So, do you wanna go to a movie tomorrow, Maverick?

So, I was thinking, tomorrow night we should...

So, uh, how will I know which times?

So, uh, I blew off the guys tonight...

So, uh...

So, what do you think?

So, you been playin' much bingo, Pearl?

Sometimes.

Sure. It's no big deal.

Swedish pancakes? What's the catch?

Thank you, Hyde, for tonight.

Thank you, Hyde.

Thank you.

That you find friends to, uh...

That, um, you know, it's important...

That's my magazine!

That's not really a very good reason for us to...

That's only 'cause you're chicken.

That's true, Arch.

That's... really not funny.

The Bucks, huh?

The knack, see

The only thing that keeps me alive is watching the Bucks lose.

Then we can be single girls together.

Then, Eric says to Donna...

There's always a string attached to Swedish pancakes. Trust me.

They've got a salad bar.

This is how you serenade a woman.

This is important to your mother. So sit down.

This is nice

This was a one time only thing. All right?

To hang out with you.

Trash, trash, trash

Uh, is there, uh, maybe a better system than that?

Uh, like for instance, I...

Uh, really, you should come.

Uh, sympathetic... uh, stuff...

Uh... yes.

Um, support and, uh...

Um, this is my school song from back home.

Wait. Let's go to Sizzler.

We're all going to the nursing home to visit Aunt Pearl.

Well, good for you, Ma. You deserve a night out.

Well, ho ho ho and whoop de do. I'm home.

Well, I didn't. But that's the price you pay, Son.

Well, I mean, she is old, so...

Well, I think that...

Well, just wait, 'cause someday Donna's gonna crush your stupid little heart too.

Well, now, see?

Well, the Bucks are playing the Celtics...

Well, you'll know afterwards, when I get mad.

Well...

What am I gonna do?

What are you doing?

What we just did...

What? I don't think that's the problem.

What? Why?

Whatever it takes for us to be together.

Whatever it takes...

When something horrible's about to happen.

When was the last time you took a bath, man?

When you have a bad breakup...

Whoa, okay!

Why don't you come out, and you can show me your damn scrapbooks again?

Wow, Ma. You're all dressed up.

Yeah, I'm gonna write Jackie a song.

Yeah, Mr. Broken Heart...

Yeah, see, I don't think so...

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah? Well...

Yeah.

Yeah. And I'm a virgin.

Yeah. I wish Jackie was still controlling me.

Yeah. My sister is such a whore.

Yeah. What are you doing?

Yep. That's what we were hopin'.

Yes, please, Kelso, stop.

You caught me cheatin' with a whore

You don't love me anymore

You gotta realize that you can do better than Kelso.

You know what's kinda funny? That was your guitar.

You know, it's weird...

You know, Jackie, you buying me boots is just wrong.

You like my new boots?

You may think this song is stupid

You read my mind, Eric.

You should draw her a picture.

You shoulda let me shoplift 'em.

You tried to control her, Eric, and the woman always controls the man.

You will, man. You'll find somebody great.

You're gettin' gamy.

You're gonna be fine. This whole thing is gonna be fine. All right?

You're not worth it! So get lost!

You've been through a rough time.

Your father will be home any minute.

Eric, you're so cute. Ow. Ow!

Hey! Thank you, Red.

I was wondering if... Shh!

I'm not gonna apologize to Donna. Oh, yeah?

Isn't she dead yet? Laurie!

Just like I'm not good enough for your mother. Okay, well...

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Fair enough. Okay.

Really? Uh, yeah.

So, Aunt Pearl... Shh!

That's true. Donna does not control me!

This is a real treat, Mrs. Forman. Careful, Steven.

Watch it. I'm trying to help you out here. I'm sorry. Yes, sir.

Well, I'm gonna go warm the car up. No, Laurie.

Well, if you insist. I do.

Yes, I am. No, you're not.

'cause I can't stop the tears, man!

"A Song for Jackie" by Michael Kelso.

"I cannot go out with you because I'm going out with the guys."

"If you want?"