The Jeffersons - Season 3 Edit

A Baptist!

A beautiful apartment, a great neighborhood

A bet's a bet.

A big one. For the policeman's ball.

A blinding rainstorm or fog the next.

A boom? Ha! I hate to disappoint you, Willis.

A charming chap with the Greek delegation,

A come a calling.

A cop! Hmm.

A couple of weeks ago,

A crystal ball is for seeing into the future,

A dollar a share. That's a steal.

A double what? Whatever's the quickest.

A dress in the right color.

A dunch is... Well...

A family portrait.

A favor? A favor?

A go, lordy, and a come back again lordy.

A guy from work is getting transferred to Pittsburgh

A hundred buses going to that stadium.

A hundred dollars?

A hundred's all you're getting.

A job, yeah!

A lie detector test? Why?

A life and death situation like that.

A little bit more and we'll all be happy.

A little more rum.

A little something special for your apartment.

A little wine, a little music

A little yogurt there.

A lot of my students get airsick their first time up.

A lot to do with a wedding!

A man is supposed to say, "What about it?"

A minute ago, you were in here practically hysterical.

A mugger tried to attack me in the elevator.

A not very considerate neighbor of mine in the garage.

A person can choke to death in four minutes.

A picture of that dear old Mark Hopkins.

A polygraph.

A prenuptial agreement?

A red smoking jacket.

A relaxed working atmosphere here.

A rip off? You better believe it.

A rip off? You mean they thought they could...

A table away from the bar.

A thin red one.

A tip for what? You ain't did nothing but made me late.

A what?

A who? Father Christmas.

A wife should share her husband's hobbies.

A, he told me what I could do with my car...

Aaagh! Aaagh!

Able to pierce the clouds,

About how his mother died of a broken heart.

About me flying up in the plane all the time

About me taking a hobby! I'm going to do it.

About that reward you offered me...

About the husband being the boss

About the stock that Pop invested in.

About the story in the newsletter.

About these flying lessons, I just got the...

About this woman with a dumb husband.

About what he could do with his polygraph.

Absolutely beautiful.

Accordion player?

Act like you don't see nobody.

Actually, it was probably closer to two seconds.

ADF, ELT, artificial horizon,

After all these years?

After all, I've got my pride.

After all, it's your decision

After all, you do owe him your life.

After all... No! She broke it off!

After you've had something stuck in your throat.

Ah ha ha! Come in! Come in!

Ah, ain't this a surprise!

Ah, bless you, Mr. J.

Ah, but she seemed such a sweet young thing.

Ah, but the most fascinating of all...

Ah, but there wasn't any bull.

Ah, but you can't get your ticket without ground school,

Ah, come on, George, you can tell me.

Ah, flying is the only way to go.

Ah, Frederica. A girl with a wonderful one track mind.

Ah, Mr. Bressler, was it?

Ah, Mr. Jefferson, I was wondering

Ah, thank you, sir.

Ah, that's a good idea! Thank you!

Ah, there's the rub,

Ah, Tulley. This is Lionel Jefferson.

Ah, you should have seen me, Helen.

Ah!

Ah! It's strange you should ask that.

Ah.

Ah. I'll bet they didn't object.

Ah. Well, I never smelled

Ah... Uh, ribs.

Ahem, I can understand Mr. Jefferson being upset.

Ahem! Wait a minute, Jenny.

Ain't gonna go outside of these four walls,

Ain't got no business?

Ain't he funny, Mrs. Jefferson?

Ain't I always saying she's smart?

Ain't inviting just all of their friends.

Ain't it nice? It's black.

Ain't no time for jive.

Ain't no way for me to get it back either.

Ain't nobody acting like no baby.

Ain't nothing sacred around here?

Ain't nothing silly about "maybe,"

Ain't nothing to tell!

Ain't that nice?

Ain't that right, son? That's right, Pop.

Ain't that right?

Ain't that something else?

Ain't that something?

Ain't you got some last minute packing to do?

All cars in vicinity proceed immediately.

All I do is get her to sign

All I got is questions!

All I got to do is remember the key words.

All I got to do is take it out of the file and rip it up.

All I want to know is if he was on that bus.

All of a sudden, I got real scared.

All of this will be yours.

All our planes have the latest and the best equipment.

All over the building.

All right, I got me a job!

All right, in that case...

All right, let me put it this way.

All right, look. So you don't have to hit Babakian.

All right, Mr. Jefferson, I'm smart enough to know

All right, now listen, Mr. Jefferson.

All right, Solomon.

All right, Weezy, hold the door.

All right, who's going to do it? You or me?

All right, you all come and get some coffee.

All right!

All right!

All right!

All right! Thank you so much.

All right?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. I will.

All right. What do you wanna say?

All that stuff.

All that talking and he still doesn't know that?

All the blame for how you turned out.

All the stupid honky jokes!

All the way, George.

All these years, I've been nothing but an abject coward.

All this reminds me of Dr. Cheswick.

All those countries arguing and fighting!

All you and Lionel have to do is show up.

All you smell so far is raw potatoes.

All you think about is business...

ALL: Ohh.

Almost everybody is when they first come in.

Am I going crazy?

An accident? Did something go wrong with the plane?

An accordion player, a white minister...

An airplane! You know!

And "Culligan Man" is something you call.

And a big wrench fell out right on the floor.

And after three days of my cooking,

And ain't nobody going to laugh at nothing that big,

And alive.

And all you do is work, work, work.

And arguing about a wedding of all things.

And as long as it's witnessed by two people,

And being up there in the wild blue yonder

And chop down our Christmas tree.

And condominiums. A hospital.

And did they like Mr. Jefferson's speech,

And digging into my innermost feelings.

And do it quietly!

And don't forget to order your suit for the wedding.

And don't go trying to steal the thunder from Tom

And don't you make me do nothing like that again, you hear?

And don't you say nothing about it neither.

And even if something should go wrong while you're up there,

And Fisherman's Wharf? Yep.

And Florence is not going to let you play with her rubber ducky.

And for your information,

And forget something as simple as making a phone call?

And from the way Mr. Jefferson was talking,

And get one of them come, lordies.

And get those magazines that nobody ever reads.

And gets there about 3 or 4:00 in the morning.

And give my friends the Willises

And go upside your head"?

And God doesn't care what color a minister is.

And got Reverend Ike to preach,

And guess who's gonna be

And had to have some hot coffee.

And hard work ahead of him, don't you?

And have our tickets changed

And he ain't gonna never let me live it down.

And he banged his mouth on the desk.

And he can't take money from you either.

And he decided to take up flying.

And he got his pilot's license in just a few short months.

And he got knocked out five times.

And he is a marvelous accordion player.

And he looked at me with his dirty old beady eyes.

And he said, "Boy, I got a headache again."

And he said, "Sure, I know exactly where I am.

And he took off his jacket.

And he was wearing this dirty old jacket

And he'll never believe that I really forgot.

And Helen agreed not to kill me.

And her father.

And here's how we call for the police.

And how are you today, Jenny, my dear?

And I ain't kidding.

And I don't like it.

And I don't own her either.

And I don't want to be left out.

And I forbid you to go.

And I get to pick first? Anybody I want?

And I got his favorite color. Red.

And I guarantee you, all your troubles will be over.

And I have a short walk to the john.

And I hit him.

And I just think it's up to us citizens

And I knew you'd like to be the first to give.

And I know there's nothing I can say

And I know you wouldn't be

And I love my daddy.

And I need all day to do it.

And I never even went to college.

And I never hit you in the head.

And I overheard a couple of gentlemen

And I pushed a button to go up,

And I said that was silly?

And I said to him, "Okay, now read your instruments.

And I should obey him, just like that?

And I slept out here on the sofa.

And I suppose Lionel had nothing to do with it.

And I suppose you do?

And I think it means "with honors."

And I thought I had it hidden where you'd never find it.

And I told him I'd love to see the play Chicago.

And I tried to say something,

And I want to keep my half in your body.

And I want you to know I'm behind you all the way.

And I want you to put this on his windshield wiper.

And I was waiting for the right thing to come along.

And I wish you would go back there.

And I won't be here, sir.

And I won't be long, sir.

And I won't be your puppet when we're married.

And I'll be staying overnight more often.

And I'll have it fixed as nice as you please.

And I'll pin a little nametag on my chest

And I'll tell you all about how I saved your life.

And I'm gonna have to look pretty.

And I'm gonna put two bottles of aspirin in for your flight.

And I'm investing it in this land deal.

And I'm naming it Weezy, after you.

And I'm no help at all.

And I'm proud of him. He was standing up for his principles.

And I'm taking over his apartment in the Village.

And I've come to apologize.

And I've got to follow orders.

And if everything goes the way it should,

And if he says no, you put a dunch on his head.

And if I don't answer,

And if I had me for a father, I'd have graduated college.

And if I want to waste my time listening to you,

And if I'd had all my money then,

And if it rains, I'll be sure to wear my rubbers

And if they find out his father didn't go to college,

And if you don't like it, you just tell me,

And it did make us think.

And it reminds me, sir.

And it will never happen again.

And it's a scam.

And it's all my fault.

And it's important to give a good impression.

And it's probably my fault.

And it's quite beautiful.

And Jenny looks black, don't she?

And just as funny.

And just get this whole wedding over with.

And just remember that.

And just to show you that I'm willing to meet you halfway,

And keep calling that stockbroker.

And Lionel.

And make it quick.

And making all the decisions?

And mine!

And Monty lost three teeth.

And Mother was so upset,

And neither was his wife and four kids.

And neither will Florence. Watch.

And no back talk and funny looks neither.

And none of us will be living together.

And now you won't tell me anything either.

And now you're gonna hold up my meeting

And now, about this land, where is it?

And one summer, he went on holiday to Brighton.

And order the 5000 shares,

And our men could be out there somewhere in terrible pain.

And our men were on one of them.

And pick out some china patterns.

And plenty of... ha ha ha!

And plunked $1700 on the table,

And pull something like this, Willis.

And punch him in the stomach.

And put 'em right up here.

And remember our first Christmas tree?

And remember, as long as I work on the planes,

And remember, one day,

And remember, this is just a loan.

And remote resistance factors.

And saved your life!

And say how happy you are to welcome them into the family.

And see what he's selling it for?

And set yourself down!

And she said,

And six pair of undershorts?

And some in black and white.

And start game over."

And stick it on his windshield wiper.

And still come out stupid?

And T.J. brought me home.

And take it off your taxes.

And talk to you tonight.

And tell him I want to see him right away.

And tell Santa what you want for Christmas.

And tell them to forget it.

And thank you for walking on my back this morning.

And that ain't healthy either.

And that includes the zebra out there.

And that shower! Water coming at you from every which way.

And that's when you hit him? No, because I still wasn't sure.

And that's when you let him have it? No.

And that's why you didn't...

And the more he's out of her sight, the better.

And the other dude hates chickens.

And the sad case of Mr. Heywood.

And the Statue of Liberty looked like a car hood ornament.

And then decided that his stomach could hold it better.

And then have him get hit by a bus on the way to the doctor.

And then he would say,

And then I deliberately stepped out in front of a truck

And then I walked out.

And then I'll cash your check.

And then it'll only be you and me, George.

And then Jenny would say... I do.

And then Lionel would say... I do.

And then the other hand over the fist

And then this man got on,

And then what did you do? Well, I said, "Ouch."

And then you apply pressure.

And then you kick him below the belt.

And then, when he opens the door...

And there ain't nothing wrong with him

And there's not one mention of the accident.

And there's nothing wrong with you either.

And there's nothing you can do about it.

And these are...

And these dirty old pants.

And they said that a charter bus from Manhattan

And this smelled right to me.

And Tom behaved like an idiot.

And try to answer the questions as best you can.

And two, with a sign like this on his desk,

And very reasonable rent: nothing.

And we never hardly ever see you all.

And we thought you might like to join us.

And we're gonna trust each other.

And we're gonna try and live our lives

And when he gets out, he hits your car with his door.

And when you level it out, it's smooth sailing.

And whenever you hear... Hold it.

And where in the world could I find anybody else like her?

And where's this store

And why don't you have a little faith?

And Willis was choking to death, I would have helped him.

And working at the same time.

And you and Mr. Jefferson are such charming people too.

And you are still jealous of the pilots

And you didn't call to let us know?

And you don't even have to take the test.

And you don't mind?

And you don't see anything wrong in it, do you?

And you have no call to shout at my husband like that.

And you haven't mentioned him at all.

And you hit him here four times.

And you invited him to spend the night, like any lady would not.

And you know he's got a lot of studying

And you know how stubborn George can be.

And you know I'd do anything to help you.

And you know it, Weezy.

And you know the effect you two have on him sometimes.

And you know what that means, don't you, Ralph?

And you know what we got for half price?

And you lied just like that?

And you needs your rest!

And you spent the afternoon down at Charley's Bar?

And you took forever.

And you walked out just like that?

And you were down there having fun?

And you, sir. Ah, thank you.

And you're gonna tell me what happened, or else!

And you're looking down on the birds.

And you're not going to like it.

And you're on that side.

And you've got the state capital.

And your mother's been

And, as your accountant,

And, of course, there's the radio.

And, of course, you wouldn't have gone around boasting about it.

And, Tom, you saved him! Thank you!

And, uh, everything is square, right?

And, you know, I just didn't want to get married

ANNOUNCER: The Jeffersons was recorded on tape

ANNOUNCER: The Jeffersons was recorded on tape

ANNOUNCER: The Jeffersons was recorded on tape

ANNOUNCER: The Jeffersons was recorded on tape

ANNOUNCER: The Jeffersons was videotaped in front of a studio audience.

Any children? What?

Any money you put into that,

Anybody can be sorry after he's done something.

Anybody seen the TV Guide?

Anyone touches me or my castle had better beware.

Anything they want.

Anything to get away from her.

Anything!

Anyway, sir, from what I heard,

Anyway, this Greek geezer

Anyway... Sally paid twice as much for five blouses...

Apologize all over the place.

Are all coming to the wedding.

Are there any little Lionels running around?

Are they?

Are you all right now, George?

Are you all right, George?

Are you all right, Mom?

Are you all right?

Are you excited about starting work today?

Are you going to take my $1500 or not?

Are you gonna rent a bubble machine too?

Are you gonna take me to Nob Hill?

Are you his accountant or mine?

Are you jiving?

Are you kidding?

Are you married, by the way?

Are you okay, George?

Are you saying I did?

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

Are you sure it's all right?

Are you sure these planes are safe?

Are you sure you don't want me to stay here?

Are you sure you'll be all right?

Are you sure you're not just a teeny bit British?

Are you sure?

Are you talking about people being kept alive on machines?

Are you...?

Aren't you forgetting something, George?

Aren't you gonna do anything about it?

As a matter of fact,

As a result of a navel incident.

As hard as Hitlerhorse, North Dakota,

As it turned out, his stomach held three of them.

As Lester Maddox running the NAACP.

As soon as her husband gets down.

As soon as we get back from San Francisco.

As the masseur said to the actress.

As though your heart was breaking.

As usual, it did the trick.

As you know,

Ask my friends all sorts of personal questions about me.

At $1.98 each... Who's Jane?

At $18,000 a year, he'll do whatever they tell him.

At 2 in the morning to ask permission?

At 60 seconds on the nose.

At 83rd Road and Queens Boulevard.

At a time like this, a person's got to talk to a man.

At a wedding reception?

At least one weekend every month, we go up to that cabin.

At that moment, I vowed never to raise my hand in anger again.

At the same time.

At their door,

At your service, sir.

Attaboy, Bentley.

Attaboy! Now, hold it, George.

Aw, come on. We'll let you ride up front.

Aw, Helen, I said I was sorry.

Aw!

Aww!

Aww! I'll still be here!

B, he told me I should park on the street,

Babakian. I know him. He's always pushing people around.

Back into this whole affair.

Back to the damn books.

Bad weather?

Bartender! Three Scotches.

Be careful, George.

Be serious! What are we going to do?

Beating my brains out trying to learn this junk?

Beautiful?

Because all I want to do is just fly across the skies,

Because all the pigeons on the terrace are wearing earmuffs.

Because Florence won't leave him alone.

Because he was coming to see me!

Because I am your husband and what I say goes.

Because I answered every question on that application.

Because I didn't want to upset his wife.

Because I do it over, I don't mind!

Because I forgot who I was calling.

Because I know you'll keep talking.

Because I love you, Pop.

Because I made George get out of the house.

Because I met this fellow at the UN,

Because I said so!

Because I thought you'd be down at the store.

Because I want to make sure

Because I was five decks below, peeling potatoes.

Because I was gonna give you this brand new $20 bill.

Because I'd learned

Because I'd never ask you to sign one.

Because I'm not asking you to.

Because I'm smart, that's how!

Because I'm taking this and every penny I've got

Because I'm the side her bread is buttered on.

Because I'm through. Oh.

Because I've got a photographer coming over to take our picture.

Because if I read it, I'd find out.

Because if you're here, you can't be there.

Because it isn't a bad idea.

Because it was laid in his yard.

Because it's laid in his yard.

Because it's my home.

Because it's your home.

Because Lionel's bringing his buddies up here.

Because most of the women I know

Because my daddy chopped them all down.

Because my wife doesn't like to be kept waiting.

Because once a year, you say something smart.

Because that man was really after me.

Because the Baptist Church

Because the man on the stallion

Because the whole world's gonna be at our wedding.

Because the Wolf of Wall Street will be howling tonight.

Because then he said, "My, isn't it warm in here?"

Because they didn't have to walk as far to get to New York.

Because they got problems up in the Bronx.

Because this ain't for your ears to hear.

Because we are going out on the town to celebrate.

Because we haven't had a policeman's ball for years.

Because we say so!

Because we're losing a daughter in law.

Because where I come from,

Because you are 5 foot 6, and half of that is a mouth.

Because you don't own me in the first place.

Because you never know

Because you works hard and you's tired

Because you'd be worried about me...

Because you're my little black angel.

Because you're not going to ask me, right?

Because your boss ordered you to?

Because your daddy's out there too

Before I get hysterical, I'd better go to the ladies room.

Before you took up with Jenny, didn't you?

Believe me, your just being here has really helped me a lot.

Bentley, I got a cab waiting outside.

Bentley, look, I'm busy.

Bentley, what do you want?

Bentley, you can forget about hitting me.

Bentley, you know, you're hopeless.

Bentley!

Besides, ain't no barns in New York.

Besides, I already got a hobby.

Besides, it's still anybody's game.

Besides, you need oxygen after 12,000.

Besides, you shouldn't go up there

Besides, you're too old to start flying.

Bet it was under three seconds. Tom.

Bet?

Better, 'cause you so lucky. Huh.

Between classes and work and studying,

Between my accountant and me?

Between two intelligent, civilized people.

Between your father and Tom?

Big trouble that I can get into.

Big trouble.

Bigmouth.

Bleeding like a stuck pig.

BOTH: ♪ And if you ever saw it ♪

BOTH: His father!

BOTH: Yes, George?

Boy, that is some shiner!

Boy, they'll be enjoying themselves in the Bahamas.

Boy, you sure are lucky tonight.

Bravo, young lady.

Brokers say they've never seen anything like it.

Brown eggs, baby. The best.

Bu... Sure. Forget I even mentioned it.

Bubba Banks ain't on here either.

Business, business.

But aren't you nervous?

But as fate would have it,

But between George's something and Florence's something,

But by the sheerest coincidence,

But can't you wait until you get married?

But don't worry about it, Mrs. Jefferson. He's fine now.

But don't you think problems

But first, you bring yourself right over here

But Florence, we want to hear...

But George, it's dangerous.

But George... No! But nothing, Weezy.

But he just hangs up on me.

But he must have. You're here.

But he was trying to help

But he's gonna need a crystal ball to figure it out this year.

But how can you react this way?

But I am going to work. See you later, Weez.

But I can't go today.

But I can't have visitors without asking your permission

But I can't lie.

But I didn't think Tom did.

But I don't wanna leave the phone.

But I don't wanna lose Lionel either.

But I feel all right now.

But I got held up in a meeting.

But I just don't want you to fly.

But I know you don't want me to talk like that

But I phoned all the hospitals.

But I shouldn't take it out on you.

But I sure am glad to see you.

But I think coffee would do me more good.

But I think it's about time the Black Baron hung up his wings.

But I think you'd better go.

But I thought you understood that.

But I thought your boss said

But I wanna make sure I can afford it before I buy.

But I want you to know... Forget it, Bentley.

But I'll have everything

But I'll tell you one thing,

But I'm feeling no pain at all.

But I'm his wife.

But I'm not gonna let him.

But I'm surprised at you, Jenny.

But I've got to be honest with you.

But if I'd asked you to sign it,

But if it hadn't been for me,

But if Lionel feels this strongly about it,

But if that doesn't work,

But if you drive without it, you get arrested.

But if you're looking for a place

But instead of going up, it went down, to the basement.

But isn't it ostentatious?

But isn't that against the law?

But it ain't gonna be no boom.

But it can take away her right to claim seven cleaning stores.

But it didn't take me long to figure out

But it doesn't matter,

But it don't begin till we get there.

But it's a good thing I remembered

But it's a lucky thing I found out in time

But it's Master Bentley from next door

But it's plenty of our business

But it's... It's not you.

But just to a few old friends.

But Lionel can't talk unless you shut up.

But look, Weezy, this is different.

But my boss insists on it,

But my lawyer was just talking about weddings

But no more!

But nobody agrees with me.

But not for you to have visitors at night without permission.

But not money. Something more delicious.

But now he's ready to climb the walls.

But now I know.

But now, I... [SIGHS]

But only because I wouldn't ask.

But only for the next half hour.

But since we're not married yet,

But starting Monday,

But that doesn't mean I don't love him.

But that new apartment is just so convenient.

But that was before you agreed to take it.

But the stores were crowded.

But their life together was so happy

But then Florence said something and George said something,

But then you had to go to the bathroom.

But there is also a time for action.

But there's still the matter of that desk appearance ticket.

But they wasn't in bed with me neither.

But this is a matter of life and death.

But Tom did go.

But two drinks are Tom's limit.

But until he says, 'I do, ' you don't."

But we are gonna sign a prenuptial agreement.

But we don't know when that'll be, do we?

But we've already decided on the main points.

But what about all the poor guys who still have to?

But what if he asks me to do something stupid?

But what took you so long to find out?

But what we're doing isn't against the law.

But whatever it is, it's getting closer.

But when the elevator stopped at this floor and I got off,

But when you want to hook me up to a machine

But when you're married, you're making a decision for two.

But while you were up there

But why did I let him go?

But why does the minister have to be black?

But would you do me a favor, Mr. Jefferson?

But you can get caught by surprise.

But you didn't do it on purpose.

But you don't have to worry.

But you gotta promise me one thing.

But you haven't eaten anything!

But you just started.

But you know something? It was worth the wait.

But you said you were too busy.

But you said...

But you said... Lionel is! Me?

But you shouldn't be thanking us!

But you shouldn't be.

But you want to be prepared for any emergencies.

But you'll never guess what the Danish call him.

But you're missing a great picture.

But, Daddy, you said you were gonna be calm and rational.

But, George, either you give up flying or you give up me.

But, George, the photographer will be here at 6.

But, George, we've got a plane to catch!

But, George...

But, I mean, aren't you afraid

But, I mean, like I told Mrs. Jefferson,

But, Mr. Jefferson...

But, officer, my apology was sincere.

But, officer!

But, Tom... I mean it, Helen.

But, uh, maybe some other time, okay?

But, uh... would it be presumptuous of me to inquire why?

But, um, I think it's a waste of time.

But, you know, I still can't figure it out.

But, you know, Jenny,

But, you know, you really didn't have to get up so early

But... But nothing.

By Jove! I'm going to try that.

By telling everybody in the party that you saved his life.