💬 Childrens Hospital (2008)

A "friend," huh, Dori?

A begending.

A beginding.

A breeding ground for a parasite called leptospira.

A bunch of fans or who knows who wrote letters, and...

A children's hospital.

A clown or a fool?

A cure is not in our best interests.

A g g g g g g ghost!

A hospital really is like a beehive.

A little bit later, and we'll get that worked out for you.

A matter of the heart.

A operishun.

A peasant girl is gonna get ****d by a wealthy landowner.

A real clown person, to help a colored brother out.

A reference to the product! Perfect!

A sledgehammer.

A victim of its own success, but in another more real sense,

A victim of low ratings.

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Bedpans!

Aah! Oh, God.

Aah! Oh, that hurts! Oh!

Aah! Oh! Whoo! Whoa! Whoa! Aah!

Aah! There he is!

About five minutes?

Action.

Actually, Dori, the correct usage is different from.

Advanced aging disease I've ever seen.

Advanced aging disease is hereditary. The baby's too big!

Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! This is fun.

Ahh!

Ahh.

Airplane food.

All are to have you here today!

All right, all right.

All right, give me your money, kid, now!

All right, great.

All right, now, listen.

All right, people, looks like a building collapsed

All right.

All right. Well, totally unrelated to the ghost thing,

All right. Your cold sounds terrible, by the way.

All righty. Let's begind at the beginding.

All that and Andy Rooney tonight on "Newsreaders. "

All that matters... is what's in your heart.

All the contracts are automatically renewed,

All this talk about you having sex with Blake makes me

All you see is evil and darkness. We see a giraffe with a human face...

Also frankfurters.

Always resolved by the end of the episode?

Am I dead? Did I flatline?

An unwatched pot that's left boiling a long time?

And "Childrens Hospital" would popularize more than just the

And all stories come to a beginning. So...

And allow countless people to die as a result?

And call time's 5:45 in the morning.

And cut!

And even if herm could, we're talking stretch marks,

And forces us to turn to a life of petty crime.

And from is an anagram of form.

And he'll be here for about twenty seconds.

And he's ready to operate.

And her jazz dance career.

And how do you know that?

And I had to go to a German elementary school.

And I should just respect that.

And I was also the other friend.

And I'd say, "I can't do it. I'm not a hand specialist. "

And I'll tell you one thing... I'm you're brother, and I'm dying.

And I'm ready for that DNA test now.

And I've worked at a lot of children's hospitals.

And if we save the old jazz musician, then we'll

And if you actually did this, Glenn,

And if you're not gonna help me, let me go and find another clown person,

And in his infinite wisdom, he decided to put a donation cup

And it is actually worse than last year, if you can believe that.

And later on in the program, dolphins have long been

And make love to her several times.

And new stories begin.

And none are more important than the other, except for doctors.

And nothing trumps my respect for women.

And nothing. Thirteen hours and I've only learned one thing...

And now that I'm here... I'm staying. Wah!

And now these two are dead.

And now we have to go to the hospital, or else you're gonna die.

And occupation?

And on Tuesdays, there's a live one man band! Ha cha!

And polluted the ocean with high fructose corn syrup.

And saving these men's lives.

And sew it up.

And she died. Sorry.

And she wanted you to be a woman.

And since that time, I can't decide between what's right and being liked.

And sometimes you have to make a bet on others.

And sometimes, if you want to shake up the board, you've got

And that's a wrap, folks!

And that's Cat Black.

And that's that.

And that's what I intend to do in there... no first harm.

And the risk to your life, not to mention the baby's, are just too great to consider termination.

And the weather man is talking triple digits, so drink water, have fun, and stay cool.

And the winner is a three way tie between the sexy French maid,

And then my children.

And then they drop you ten feet onto your right arm!

And then we'll insert this tiny camera into your son's

And then, uh... And then Blake would come back with a, "Well, then he's gonna

And these stupid kids go over there, and they get hurt.

And we'd... Yeah, we'd just go back and forth.

And went on to help other people who were suffering, as she had once suffered.

And what happened to this "friend"?

And what if something happened to her?

And what if the disease is hereditary?

And what is your name, sir?

And what's normal six year old behavior.

And where is he?

And you are an angel.

And you're all like, "Hold on a second. "

And, Daniel, you're okay with this?

And, of course, the clowns.

And, of course, the only fair way to settle this... The stripper pole!

Any romance language will do.

Any situation with one of two phrases... "Hot dog" or "Mama mia. "

Anyway, today at Childrens, all the mothers and fathers are

Apple, Google, Amazon, eBay.

Apply too much and that substance can explode all over you.

Are we gonna cut?

Are you crying?

Are you gay?

Are you here to take me to the other side?

Are you loco?

Are you my grandma? I was. I work here now

Are you okay?

Are you stupid?

Are you taking me to my dog, Sadie?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Aren't they just words?

Aren't we just gonna take the knife out?

As a result of my recent surgery, not only have I been made even more gorgeous,

At 4:00 P. M., we will all gather around one of those big wooden old timey radios

At the end of the day, it's a woman's right to choose,

Attention staff, there has to be more to life than this.

Attention, all staff... Buzzed surgery is the same as drunk surgery.

Attention, hospital staff...

Attention, incoming day shift... If you think it's hot outside, guess what.

Attention, staff.

Attention, staff...

Attention, staff... I was working in the lab late one night...

Attention, staff... In case you haven't noticed, the A. C. is back.

Attention, staff... Man, it is hot.

Attention, staff... The cafeteria is now open.

Attention, staff... This is not a real hospital.

Attention.

Attention... I totally don't get "Robot Chicken. "

Attention... Now that I have your attention, that is all.

Attention... Thirty days in the cooler. Hogan!

Attention... Will the owner of the red jeep with

Attention... You're the only one who can hear me.

Baba booey, baba booey.

Babies are having babies nowadays. Read the papers.

Babies.

Baby's a little bit on the big side, but other than that, I would say that everything looks great

Banana bread?

Bea Arthur's dick.

Because I am drowning, girl?

Because I didn't want... I shouldn't have given that impression.

Because I had too many e mails?

Because I'm a news junkie, Blake.

Because I'm a news junkie.

Because I'm only ten.

Because my best friend, Dr. Lola Spratt, is dead.

Because the government tells me to.

Because we don't know what's wrong with you and you're gonna die.

Because... this is... a...

Become a socioracial minefield.

Beehive is more poetic.

Been brought in to save many beloved shows over the last three decades.

Been in a coma for about fourty years?

Before Cat died, she taught me everything she knew about hand surgery.

Besides, I have terminal cancer, and it'll mean I'll be able to

Besides, we work together.

Big pharma came from outer space, invented Ben Franklin,

Big pharma delivers your mail.

Big pharma paves your roads.

Big pharma took us to war in Vietnam, synthesized crack, and killed Kennedy.

Big pharma.

Bing bong.

Blah, blah, blah.

Blake to Lola 7.

Blake would use the hand you use.

Blake, I have a confession to make.

Blake, I want you to get down to the library.

Blake?

Blake. Blake!

Blood pressure: 50 over 80.

Boo!

Books without covers...

Boss says he's all thumbs.

Boy, am I happy for you.

Break my fall, you sexy son of a bitch!

Bringing their daughters to work.

Bullet cancer.

But after he died,

But already, you all feel like family to me.

But as the flagship show reached its late middle age,

But as the saying goes, rules were meant to be broken.

But as time goes by, even the memory of her face becomes fuzzy.

But be careful.

But before there was the "Childrens Hospital" of today,

But don't you think we should run tests first?

But even as these gorgeous doctors were breaking hearts,

But how are you gonna pay for your surgery?

But I do have royal blood.

But I feel like you stole my car to get me to cooperate with you.

But I guess it didn't work.

But I no longer need... these crutches.

But I say that abortion is unacceptable in any case! Questions.

But I've always wanted a girl.

But if I'm even a microsecond off, it could tear a hole in the

But in my memory, she lives.

But isn't this clearly a knife wound?

But it's actually your eyes I'm concerned about.

But it's Halloween, and the real hospital is packed.

But it's not her. It's never her,

But make sure to charge me with the crime of caring about my family,

But my brain was washed of all medical knowledge.

But my wife really needs this abortion.

But not yet.

But other times, it's such a gray area, like when the baby is sixteen years old.

But some days, I can feel her with me...

But some people were lucky enough to get lines, fifteen seasons worth.

But that day, the surgery... I saw you!

But that's all about to change, because after fifteen long years on

But the galaxy needs me, just like you are needed here.

But the same exact thing happened to me.

But then again, what's so happy about it?

But then her nursing company moved her to Santa Fe and we lost touch.

But they kept me locked into my contract, so three sequels later,

But we don't have a hand surgeon here.

But what do you call an ending that begins all over again?

But what happens when no baby arrives?

But what we actually found may surprise you.

But you said something, and we listened.

But you're so smart.

But you've been in a coma for fourty years.

By a woman.

By accident. Oh.

By firing Lola, he could afford to keep the coffee machine.

By the end of the first season, "Childrens Hospital" was a bona fide hit.

By the way, how does a ten year old get a job at a knife factory?

Bye bye, you guys.

Bye now.

Camera three, camera three!

Can I borrow her for a minute?

Can I see it written down?

Can it be... you?

Can you help my son now?

Can you just tell me the answer?

Can you kiss me the kiss of life and save me?

Can you please help my son?

Captain Stern and Lieutenant Koru, ready to beam up.

Carry on.

Cat, take the finger.

Cat, you have to stop thinking about yourself

Cat, you have to stop tinkling on the shelf.

Cat!

Catch phrase "Righteous!"

Character died unexpectedly in childbirth.

Check it out, people! Whoo! Yeah! Feel like I'm flying!

Cheetos flamin' hot crunchy snacks are dangerously cheesy.

Chello. Yeah, I've got time.

Chest really badly but couldn't, so she turned to a friend who

Chief, can I talk to you for a minute?

Chief, Dr. Downs, you're needed in the O. R.

Chief, I have so many things I want to show you.

Chief, I'm so glad I happened to run into you.

Chief, it's me, Chet.

Chief, no.

Chief, we did it!

Chief, we need you guys.

Chief, what is this?

Chief!

Child molester, where are you?!

Child molester!

Child molester! It's you and me, baby!

Child molester! Oh!

Code blue! He's going into a coma!

Coffee app on my Motorola clamshell.

Come back! Come on! I'll get naked!

Come here!

Come here! Restrain him!

Come here. Come here.

Come on, big daddy.

Come on, get the finger. Where's the finger? Who's got it?

Come on, he's gonna lose this fist!

Come on, let's take a break, do some clown stuff.

Come on, punk, give me the money!

Come on!

Come on.

Coming this fall.

Coming up next on "Blake Downs M. D.," Dr. Downs has big news.

Coming up tonight after "Childrens Hospital. "

Congrats, kid. You're neither.

Costumes, if you will.

Could Dick Hertz please report to surgery? Dick Hertz.

Could someone please help me with my son?

Couple of days' bed rest, you'll be up and around in no time.

Crippling me... started with my legs.

Cute, little baby boy in his bath.

Cutter Spindell organized protests to the network

Daffy Giraffy, you're under arrest for seven counts of assault,

Damn heat, huh?

Damn it, McJewjew.

Damn it!

Daniel is pregnant!

Darling, what is it?

Days where I am forbidden to partake in the carnal desires.

Dead air. That's all I'm getting.

Definitely not.

Derided as poor man's tuna... Not quite fish, not quite mammal.

Derrick Childrens.

Detective Chance Briggs. You dirty S. O. B.!

Dick.

Did the band Fall Out Boy throw up on your head?

Did you find Lola on the other side?

Did you get any of that?

Did you take that out of the garbage?

Didn't ebola have a Rin Tin Tin?

Didn't you and Lola have a thing?

Disillusioned and bored, culminating in the now infamous

Do it!

Do me now. Do me.

Do not call me blind.

Do she think meant she would do it, like do us or... or do the procedure?

Do you hate me?

Do you have a niece, Dr. Richie?

Do you have any idea how much talent it takes to run a surgical team?

Do you have any other conditions we didn't know about?

Do you have some clown in your background?

Do you have to disagree with everything I sa...

Do you know at this means?

Do you know what part of the world your fish is from?

Do you like television?

Do you understand what's happening here?

Do you want to grow up to be something stupid like a hair stylist?

Do you want your mangina to look like Kermit's mouth?

Do your worst, sir.

Dock it.

Doctor, Doctor, give me the news. I've got a bad case... of meningitis.

Doctor.

Doctors, doctors, can I speak to you?

Doctors, kindly step away from these men.

Doctors, my name is Hubert McGraw.

Doctors?

Does it get extra boiled?

Does she live in Charlotte, North Carolina, on Foxgrove Court?

Doesn't die in surgery, who do you think they're praying to?

Don't be.

Don't leave me hanging.

Don't make me let this kid die.

Don't mess with us.

Don't see him coming here anytime soon to take advantage

Done.

Dori, find another doctor to treat the dork in room 7.

Down a children's hospital.

Down on their knees and they pray to God that little Becky

Downtown and two critically injured patients have been

Dr. Blake Downs

Dr. Cat Black is gone for good, and no one will ever replace her.

Dr. Downs, and that's it.

Dr. Flame, Dr. Fantastic.

Dr. Maestro, finally ready to help me with this kid or what?

Dr. Maestro, what happened to you?

Dr. Richie.

Dr. Spratt, you have to help.

Dr. Spratt! I'm calling it off!

Dr. Spratt?

Drink the rest while your dummy sings "Camptown Races. "

Drink this water, and we'll see if it goes right through you.

Drop the cancer cure... Or else.

Drop the container, sir! Whoa! Cancer gun!

Drop the gun! Drop the gun!

Drop the gun. Drop the container.

Drop the... Just... Just drop it, paint job!

Dropping off.

E I b o w.

Each of us running around, bringing honey from one place to another,

Eh.

Ehh!

Either way, I'm gonna find a way to bone you.

Either way, we're in danger of inciting a real race war here, Chief.

Elboom, elbowe.

Elbowe.

Enjoying the coffee?

Ensign Spratt, set phasers for stun.

Episode of this season.

Even this... is big pharma.

Ever be the same.

Everybody slow down.

Everyone has their role to play.

Everyone is welcome, except Japs.

Everyone relax. The tornado has passed.

Everyone, quiet!

Everything ends.

Everything.

Everything's back to normal, but I don't know if any of us will

Ew! Please!

Exactly.

Except for the period of Hamanesh, which is the twelve

Excuse me, I'm from the future. I need your help.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Can you to help for me sleep bed?

Excuse me. Where are the showers?

Excuses for her bruises.

Fabric of space.

Fairy tales filled with whimsy and childlike wonder... And that's the end.

Fall Out boy Called, and they want their haircut back.

Fall Out Boy is my favorite band.

Fall Out Boy... That's who.

Fans think that because I learn all of my lines phonetically,

Fascinating.

Fear the borg may have contaminated your bloodstream

Feel like a... cat on a hot tin roof over here and stuff.

Feel the light?

Fine. Suit yourself.

Fine. Welcome to the team.

First bedroom on the right. She doesn't even have a lock on the door.

First of all, you mean "he" just came in.

Fish is my favorite dish.

Folks, we have a winner.

Foot long frank or a hot, steaming plate of vagina?

For example, I think Blake might be dead.

For example, I understand that you've discovered a cure for a certain...

For I am not Valerie Flame, daughter of Alma and Telery Flame.

For instance... "Don't poop where you eat. "

For my four kids at home...

For some, it's all about dead people.

For the cast and crew of "Childrens Hospital" and its

Foreign language versions were produced in Canada... Hawaii...

Forgive me, Rabbi, for I have sinned.

Fortunately for you, young sportsman, leptospira isn't fatal.

Frankfurters... The Allman brothers... Death...

French maid, sexy schoolgirl, sexy cop, sexy Alice in wonderland,

Friend Montana to see her.

From him, and only he can fill in the blanks.

From the Latin "attendere. "

Gasoline!

Gee whiz, you know, I really don't know. You know, I probably...

Geez, what a whiner. Oops.

Georgene here saw my sign, and she recruited thousands of

Get a load of these guys

Get a shrink.

Get him to the elevator!

Get in here.

Get on the Internet, find out everything you can about young boys.

Get rid of it.

Get them out of here!

Get to your positions!

Getting a boyfriend.

Ghost, tell us... is rain really God's tears?

Ghost! I want to talk to you!

Girl doesn't need you anymore.

Give me 10cc of penis illin.

Give me a hand, will you?

Give me that thing.

Gladys! Come back. You can't leave me here. He's dying.

Glenn Richie... My old Hebrew school pal.

Glenn, I have no idea what you mean.

Glenn, I know that you know that cancer is an amalgam of... of complicated, unique conditions.

Glenn, press the button! Third floor!

Glenn, that's so rude.

Glenn, what are you doing?

Glenn's haircut who?

Go away, ghost Lola, before I call Bill Murray to bust you,

Go back to your corporate penthouse cubicle, Don Rickshaws.

Go faster!

Go for it.

Go gentle into that good night.

Go get him, killer!

Go to his mother's hair stylist.

Go to his school.

Go to the knife factory.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go!

Go!

Gobbledygook.

God be with you, Daffy Giraffy.

God, I hate you two!

God, it was horrible.

God, you are good.

God!

Gonna be a real scorcher today, huh?

Good day, doctor.

Good riddance.

Good Shabbas.

Good thing I went to the bank today.

Good. Because there's no time. We're losing him!

Goodbye, Freckles.

Goodbye, Lola.

Goodnight, pussycat.

Gosh, it's like the mouth of a fish if you yank the hook out too fast.

Got it! It's coming from inside the hospital... The maternity ward!

Got it. Thank you.

Got the "Newsreaders" crew here.

Got to get away from him!

Got to get away! Oh, God! Got to get away from him!

Got your 15 g's. What's the action on the Cavs game tonight?

Gotcha, you son of a bitch

Grab onto my cripple sticks, and let's go for a ride

Great idea, Blake.

Great.

Great. Thanks.

Great. Well, my medical advice would be "keep on truckin'."

Guys, the sultan's arriving now!

Guys, there's a new ride called the "Wacky Yacky Arm Buster. "

Ha! See? I told you! You're a ghost!

Ha! You can do anything to me.

Had had a similar experience.

Haley here can read minds, everybody.

Hang in there, buddy.

Happy Halloween.

Hard for this girl, and I'm not gotta let her go just because you like her, too.

Harmony, Harmony, look at Mommy.

Harmony, here to see what Mommy does for her living.

Has been on television the longest?

Has been severed by a deli slicer at Whole Foods.

Has she/he been exhibiting any stereotypically female behaviors?

Have fun, but be safe.

Have some pride in your race.

Have somebody look at her. I'm not sure. It's not my specialty.

Have to go to a different hospital," but he'd say it like he would say it.

He collects butterflies? Typical suit.

He could be anyone!

He did it to impress you.

He did the monster mash.

He has an injury to his elbum... Elbowe... elboum... Elbowe.

He is in pain. Nicky will die very soon.

He just said you should save me!

He likes you.

He looks just like me.

He plays a doctor in a circus, and a bad one at that.

He probably went to the closet to cry like he usually does.

He runs the insurance company that owns the hospital now. Total suit.

He wanted you to be a man.

He was asking for it, wearing all that slutty makeup.

He's an Ecuadorian Calico Fantail from the Amazon River basin,

He's doing Hawkeye's monologue from the "MASH" finale.

He's got the rarest case of

He's got the rarest case of advanced aging disease I've ever seen.

He's not a child molester, because I'm not a child!

He's not going to fit. It's not gonna fit.

He's performing a very important hand job.

Heart surgeons only.

Hello, Glenn.

Hello, Owen.

Hello, Schmoitle.

Hello?

Help! He's got a gun full of cancer bullets!

Her name was Cat Black, but she died in childbirth

Her vagina's too small!

Her water just broke!

Here it comes.

Here we go.

Here, hold this incision open while I insert the transinducer.

Here's a little test for you.

Here's your name tag right here.

Heretofore uncurable disease.

Herm here couldn't give birth if herm tried.

Herm?

Hey hey!

Hey, amigo, you want to go to Chipotle after this?

Hey, Blake, you're being selfish!

Hey, buddy, hope this helps you and your family.

Hey, by the way, you do have butt cancer.

Hey, can we help you?

Hey, Chief.

Hey, did they ever finish building that World Trade Center in New York?

Hey, does it look like I was blaming myself,

Hey, Dr. Maestro.

Hey, everybody, Blake brought his daughters, and they're gonna sing for us.

Hey, Glenn, nice haircut.

Hey, Glenn, what's the matter?

Hey, have you ever noticed... What was it?

Hey, have you seen Glenn's haircut?

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey. And how is Morgan's terminal cancer?

Hey, I could be totally reading into this wrong,

Hey, I want to show you something.

Hey, is this a mirror?

Hey, let's get the kids together and hit a restaurant or something, huh?

Hey, listen up, everybody... Say goodbye to Mr. Nice Guy.

Hey, listen, Jeff, why don't you come with us, huh?

Hey, listen, listen.

Hey, listen, um, want to do rounds with me today?

Hey, little man, how'd you hurt your arm?

Hey, Lola.

Hey, Owen, it turns out that Blake here never went to medical school.

Hey, Owen.

Hey, Owen. Hey, Owen. Hey, Owen.

Hey, Owen. You're not going anywhere!

Hey, sexy, give me some sugar.

Hey, sport, let me ask you a question.

Hey, suit, you stay out of my way!

Hey, that's... What was it, laundry day?

Hey, this man could die, and he's the only hope for

Hey, wait a minute. Dick Hertz is on vacation.

Hey, we just got roasted.

Hey, what's up your butthole, Owen, okay?

Hey, when's the last time you had your prostate checked?

Hey, you guys got this, right?

Hey, you stay away from her, Jewy.

Hey!

Hey! Come on!

Hey.

Hey. Aren't you Cat's boyfriend's mother?

Hey. Hey.

Hey. What is this?

Hey. What's going on over here?

Hey... Look, I'm just... I'm just gonna say it.

Hi, I'm Chief. The chief surgeon.

Hi, Mom.

Hi! We went to The Cheesecake Factory. I had a accident.

Hi.

Hi. You must be Cat.

Highlights than it will to dye all my hair?

His name is Mr. "Philip Time,"

Ho!

Hold on, hold on, hold on!

Hold still, please!

Honey, don't you want to know what Mommy does for a living?

Hoped it would be okay.

Hospital administrators, take note.

Hospitals just like this one.

Hot enough for you?

Hot one out there.

Hot one, huh?

Hotter in here.

How am I possibly worthy of insults?

How dare you throw my balls in my face?!

How did that Challenger flight go?

How did you all feel when you knew the show was coming to an end?

How do I know when to shock you back to life?

How do you know my name?

How does that remind you of this?

How self sacrificing and gutsy of you.

However, it does end at sundown tonight.

Huh, do you feel that?

Huh. Okay let's try another one.

Hundreds of mousetraps!

Hungry?

Hup, hey.

Hup, hup, hup.

Hup.

Hurry up and kill me, Flame, before I change my mind.

I actually play the role of, uh, both twins.

I almost forget what I look like without the makeup on, you know?

I am a doctor.

I am glad that I happened to run into you, too,

I am God!

I am Lieutenant D'Ghor Koru, medical officer on the starship Nivoa.

I am not a ghost.

I am! I'm self sacrificing.

I assume so. I basically said it.

I assure you, these are normal bullets.

I ate all of Gladys' cigarettes!

I beat you up all the time, and it's super embarrassing

I bet you guys fifty bucks I can guess your weight.

I c'd the big c, you f'ing d.

I came here to settle a score.

I can cure you.

I can do it.

I can hear all the horrible things people think of me.

I can read lips.

I can show these people modern medicine and get totally laid.

I can't decide between getting rid of Lola and getting

I can't do this to my kids.

I can't do this, man. I can't do this, okay?

I can't find the finger.

I can't have a baby right now, Doctor.

I can't. I can't do this.

I carry it around with me everywhere I go to remind me

I couldn't walk down the street without being mobbed.

I cut right through the bone.

I did extract the brain tumor,

I did it for the kids.

I did the right thing, brought him in here to the hospital.

I did what the officer described... But I had to.

I did, yeah.

I didn't come here as Cat Black's replacement.

I didn't die. I time traveled to 1987.

I didn't go to the other side.

I didn't mean for her to kill it.

I discovered a syndrome, and they're naming it after me:

I do.

I don't care about that. I've dated plenty of guys twenty five years younger than me.

I don't care if it's your birthday.

I don't get it, but this feeling isn't going away until I jack my spoo.

I don't have a brain tumor.

I don't have time for that kind of thing.

I don't know about you, but in my house, folks be hating on each other for years.

I don't know how to do that.

I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't like children.

I don't like the p word.

I don't think anybody has advanced aging disease like Nicky.

I don't understand.

I don't want to be aborted.

I don't want to be stuck next to this useless old dude!

I dread the future.

I encouraged you to spread your wings, and then you went too far.

I faked my own death.

I feel like I owe you an apology.

I feel like this is just not gonna work at all.

I feel... I feel strong.

I fell down a flight of... fists.

I fooled my parents into thinking I'm pregnant.

I for one am not taking the word of a creepy guy in a giraffe outfit.

I get it now.

I get the sense that I'm not quite getting through to you,

I give you the new Chief.

I got a 10 year old with severe knuckle trauma!

I got a ten year old down!

I got fudge in my veins.

I got the ah da ah da ah da ah da ah da ah da ah da ah da ah. "

I got... I got no theater training.

I guess it doesn't matter if you're cool, nerd, jock, goth, or clown.

I guess it's clear what we need to do.

I guess rules are just suggestions.

I had an operation that transformed me

I had no idea that's what you looked like with no makeup.

I had that awful nightmare again.

I had to walk down through neighborhoods where mostly blind

I hate the sound of your voice.

I have a dark but socially relevant situation at home.

I have a degenerative nerve disorder that's slowly

I have a question. Um, tell me... What was the real Chief like?

I have a real treat for fans of the show.

I have an appointment. With the future.

I have an M. D. from Harvard.

I have commendations from seven different medical boards in

I have got to figure out what kind of organ this is.

I have something to come clean about, too.

I have taken a sworn oath to save every life I come in contact with!

I have the actual person upon whom the character Dr. Blake Downs,

I have the DNA test.

I have to get rid of the coffee maker.

I have to pee pee.

I haven't heard this many bad jokes since Seinfeld first tried

I haven't seen this many guys on one pole since I went to that

I heal people.

I hear her ghost still haunts the old haunted locker room.

I hear that you're a crazy cat lady

I hear that you're considering not keeping the baby.

I heard you say something about stopping my research. Or else.

I helped save a children's hospital.

I implanted a transinducer, Captain.

I just can't clean up grown man poop anymore.

I just couldn't think of a reason to break up with you.

I just don't know what to do.

I just gave you a shot of this new drug penicillin.

I just got them to like me.

I just think your daughter could participate more in class.

I just want to drop off my bag and check my e mails.

I just wanted it to be quiet!

I just wish it were a black and white issue.

I just wish we could hit rewind.

I just...

I just... You're not self sacrificing and gutsy enough to be my lover.

I know a great many things.

I know I've only been working here a few months,

I know just where to go.

I know that.

I know you're here, Lola. Reveal your spirit to me.

I know, right? Wait.

I know! I'll shimmy up that pole!

I know.

I know. Goodbye, Blake.

I like turtles!

I lost all money on train.

I love Charlie Chaplin.

I love Fall Out Boy.

I mean you must submit to a DNA test, but that's only a formality, of course.

I mean, come on!

I mean, I am just, like, roasting in these things.

I mean, I couldn't imagine why a TV network would want to shut

I mean, I'd rather do anything else.

I mean, not literally.

I messed up.

I miss walking.

I need a real doctor.

I need you to hear my confession.

I need you to interview everyone he's come in contact with in the last fourty days.

I need you, Mom. I love you.

I never knew I could love again so deeply and so out of context.

I once had a friend who needed to get something off her

I only eat seafood.

I only have two hours. Sy.

I only kind of do. "

I pity you, son.

I play mahjongg every morning with the girls at the home.

I promise.

I quit. Get another nanny.

I really cut myself.

I really need to talk to you.

I really want to have sex with Lola, but she's a ghost,

I represent an organization that has a special request.

I said it's over. They lost.

I said you weren't paying attention to me.

I see it everywhere, the past. And it looks like Lola.

I see what's happened, and it's all my fault.

I still don't see how that proved we weren't cops.

I swear I had it, but I can't find it!

I think he's only got three days to live tops.

I think I can live with that.

I think I might have a solution that benefits everybody.

I think I remember you mentioning that yesterday,

I think I sprained my taint.

I think I'm supposed to put it into someone.

I think this man needs an oper an n

I think we all had the same reaction, you know, which was, "Thank God!"

I thought if I stole the sultan's finger I could cheat

I thought they were supposed to fix the elevator in this place!

I threw that away when I was, like, nine years old.

I totally understand. If you've got pain, take the day off.

I understand them when they make sex talk at me.

I understand.

I waited... so long!

I want a dinosaur doctor!

I want them to like me.

I want to know how they make whoopee in the future, spaceman!

I want to not treat Jeffrey Ross' kid so he has to stay here longer.

I want to operate on your nonexistent tumor.

I want to read the ancient scrolls!

I want you to meet my little Schmoitle.

I want you with this kid night and day.

I want you, too, Glenn, as a friend.

I want you.

I was heavy on domestic commodities, so I was merely

I was just being clever!

I was just date ****d!

I was offered "Crocodile Dundee"...

I was playing in the parking lot and I... I fell.

I was trading derivatives in Asian markets and rededicating

I was, uh...

I wasn't. I'm guilty. Guilty, Your Honor.

I watched all my friends skyrocket to stardom

I went back in time.

I went into the coma when I was like two or three years old,

I will.

I wish I aged backwards, like Merlin, or Bruce Springsteen, or anyone from the Planet Ork.

I wish I could wake up, but I think it smells in here...

I wish I had a book.

I wonder if I'll just be alone forever.

I work day and night at Ride World for minimum wage, no benefits,

I would gladly sacrifice all my beautiful friends if it cured one case of cancer,

I would gladly volunteer. I would... I would...

I... I can't remember which hand Blake uses to do things.

I... I know it looks kind of, uh, like a... er, uh. You see... Uhhh...

I... I really hurt my head.

I... I think I'm gonna faint.

I'd like that.

I'd like to show her my sexy costume.

I'd rather do a fifteen minute low budget comedy for basic cable.

I'd say a hospital is more like a prison.

I'll be right back.

I'll call my Congressman.

I'll find a home for you, wee one.

I'll give it a try, but it sounds boring.

I'll just keep watch and watch carefully which doctor is least good at her job.

I'll pay for my own wi fi, thank you very much.

I'll see you around.

I'll take it from here, sir.

I'll tell you something my uncle used to say to me back home in Sweden.

I'll try, little one.

I'll try.

I'm 67 years old.

I'm a battered doctor, and every day before work, this man beats me up.

I'm a Christian.

I'm a doctor! I'm a doctor!

I'm a grown up!

I'm a huge fan of his.

I'm a news junkie.

I'm a slave to the demons of alcohol!

I'm also good at changing in and out of various outfits...

I'm an alcoholic.

I'm back!

I'm board certified in cardiothoracic medicine and trauma surgery.

I'm coming, children!

I'm communicating with you via mental telepathy.

I'm Derrick Childrens!

I'm done with ****.

I'm dying.

I'm fast. But I reset quickly, it's one of my things.

I'm from the future, and we don't have much time.

I'm going ahead with my cure for cancer.

I'm going to put my hand on the table, and...

I'm gonna announce my return in a couple minutes at the staff meeting.

I'm gonna be a grandfather.

I'm gonna drink myself to death right here in this hotel

I'm gonna get some soup.

I'm gonna go to doggy heaven.

I'm gonna miss this place... More than you know...

I'm gonna move my car, 'cause I have the access... I guess..

I'm gonna try and cure you the old fashioned way,

I'm gonna write myself some stock tips so I can get rich in the future.

I'm good with change.

I'm happy and content to give my life in order to save another.

I'm his brother... Sir Tinkle Button.

I'm honored, Senator, that you would choose come to me.

I'm hungry.

I'm just a gifted ventriloquist.

I'm just going to work.

I'm Louis La Fonda, and this is "Newsreaders. "

I'm Louis La Fonda.

I'm not a clown anymore... I'm a doctor.

I'm not a ghost!

I'm not blaming myself! Relax! It wasn't my fault at all.

I'm not feeling very good at all.

I'm not interested in your medical school scientific

I'm not kidding.

I'm not really here.

I'm not royalty, Malik.

I'm not trying to be a dick.

I'm not waiting on any organs.

I'm not who you think I am.

I'm not willing to keep my cancer cure under wraps just

I'm okay.

I'm on a seafood diet.

I'm only doing this so that we can have a little privacy.

I'm positive it was my idea.

I'm putting my best doctors on it... Dr. Maestro, Dr. Richie,

I'm so afraid of my future.

I'm so sorry. Some of my butterflies got out of my collection this morning.

I'm sorry I tormented you as a teen!

I'm sorry if you have a problem with our unconventional relationship.

I'm sorry, Blake... I can't do this!

I'm sorry, Daddy. It'll be better next time.

I'm sorry, David? Can we cut?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm just really confused.

I'm still hungry.

I'm sure you say that to all the goysas.

I'm talking about popping boners.

I'm the new hospital chaplain.

I'm the only doctor in this hospital that's qualified

I'm the special envoy for Sultan Habrah Bin Baneez of Sardonia.

I'm too old for "Take your daughter to work" day.

I'm unsanitary! I'm an alcoholic!

I'm Valerie Flame, Dr. Cat Black's replacement.

I'm willing to wager that it's a carrier.

I've always wanted to have sex with a restless spirit.

I've been around,

I've been peed on so many times,

I've been spending many hours in this hospital, Dr. Richie.

I've extracted blood, bile, tears, breast milk, and mucus from the insect...

I've listened to everything you have to say, and I realized

I've lived a good life, and I want you to know I made peace with my God.

I've never roasted a pig before.

If anything, it was Beth's fault.

If Gene Simmons can take off his makeup, so can I.

If he dies, let it be on your conscience.

If he does that, you might lose your sexy strut.

If I can reverse the polarity on this phaser, we can get them back.

If I charge them, they're going to hate me.

If the senator wants an abortion, then that's his choice,

If they find out I have a white mother,

If we save the white kid, the press labels us racist.

If you ask me, it's faith.

If you can live with yourself afterward.

If you do peek, I'll tell you, it's intense,

If you don't seek treatment immediately, you're gonna die soon.

If you two ain't cops, then I want you to give him a prostate exam right now.

If you're a ghost, I'll feel the difference.

If you're not a ghost, then prove it right now.

If you're not dead, then prove it.

Illegitimate son that he kept hidden from the hospital gentry at that time.

In a creative lull, the cast and crew became

In a dramatic final episode...

In chemistry, the quickest way to transform a

In fact, as soon as anybody opens their mouth on a TV show,

In front of our three cameras.

In Hindi?

In its neck... helping out a boy in need.

In order to increase revenue,

In that case, no, thank you. I'd, uh, rather just cure it.

In the smile of a child or in the innocence of one of God's more gentle creatures.

In your life, and he needs a doctor... A real doctor, one who's been laid.

Incurable. No such word as uncurable.

Information proof left wing voodoo mumbo jumbo.

Insult comic and roastmaster general.

Into the beautiful, healthy creature you see before you.

Ironically, Ms. Peters died in real life shortly before taping

Is Aetna your primary carrier or are you being covered by another plan?

Is he staying active?

Is it a boy or a girl?

Is it really so crazy that I faked my own death

Is it really so crazy that I faked my own death because I had too many e mails?

Is it working?

Is there something you want to talk about, Owen?

Is this your pork, Jewy?

Isn't that right, Jay?

It almost seems that way, doesn't it?

It boils their brains like soup... Like soup in a mint julep.

It doesn't exist, you idiot.

It doesn't justify my aggressions towards you, but

It doesn't matter if you're a male or a female or both.

It hasn't been very long for me. It's been like a minute... oh!

It is just a matter of the heart.

It is so nice to see your vagina again

It melts their inhibitions like ice... Like ice in a mint julep.

It moves here... Then here.

It never made it to air, but it contained the DNA of what the

It says right here that the ride is safe.

It should calm you down. Or not.

It smells like a Spin Doctors concert in here.

It tells you where to find the best bean juice around.

It wants to dock with your Tag'Nor again.

It was a baby! She smothered her own baby!

It was a graveyard smash.

It was just the thought of doing rounds with you.

It was like a runaway train with its head cut off, wasn't it?

It would be an honor to watch you employ the healing power of laughter.

It... it was actually my idea.

It'll be better next time.

It's a lollipop.

It's a metaphor.

It's all there.

It's already been cooked.

It's as if I offered you one drink, and you've become an alcoholic.

It's awful, actually.

It's barely a real TV show.

It's been so much less experienced than the past.

It's better you found out now.

It's called, My Big Black ****.

It's even harder to control the body's more physical urges.

It's fighting the borg's techno virus.

It's gonna be an interesting day.

It's gonna be awesome. I can't wait. I'm so restless!

It's hard to keep tensions at bay.

It's hard to tell what's senility

It's him again!

It's immoral! I'm disgusted!

It's j... I cannot do it for less than $50,000. I can't.

It's just a common grammatical error.

It's just a regular gun!

It's just, um, really hard to accept that your little

It's like a bomb went off in that thing. Ugh, it's like a Vietnam movie.

It's like my brain knows what to do but my hand is junk.

It's like riding a really tall bike with a huge front wheel.

It's like you're on an African safari,

It's made of people.

It's me, Chief!

It's Mulatto, and no one's supposed to know that.

It's not personal.

It's nothing, Dori.

It's okay. I'm sure Childrens Hospital will take me back.

It's over. Cavs lost.

It's Rabbi Jewy McJewjew now, Glenn.

It's the big pharmaceutical companies, Glenn, that make all the big decisions.

It's the most important thing in the world to you.

It's these scrubs.

It's time to let me go.

It's too hot and cramped in here for one person, let alone two.

It's your show.

It's, uh, a little different than that.

Jason and Kylie.

Jeffrey Ross.

Jewy McJewjew.

Jewy, is this your pork?

Joke overload

July 11th, 3:00 A. M.

Just a little friendly reminder, Dr. Richie... Stop trying to cure cancer.

Just Falcon joined the cast in 1993.

Just give me one kiss and I'll say goodbye forever.

Just in the name of love, you did it

Just like another day at the office, even if tensions were running a little high.

Just put it in there.

Just to sc**** together something to put on the table for my...

Just... Long pause while you're staring at me.

Justin.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Glenn's haircut.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have got to find new ways to raise revenue for this hospital.

Last time I go to that stupid half priced bookstore. That's for sure.

Lastly, I'm happy to announce that

Let me get this straight.

Let me put it to you this way, Dr. Richie... If this gets

Let's be honest.

Let's do it. Give me your finger, my love.

Let's do this, guys

Let's do this. I'm ready.

Let's go! Scramble!

Let's go.

Let's just ease this off.

Let's show them what Childrens Hospital is all about.

Let's start again.

Let's talk!

Let's wake him up and ask him if he has pubic hair.

Lieutenant, am I gonna make it?

Life is death and rebirth and love and blood.

Life is like chess.

Life's not a VCR.

Like a death row prisoner granted a reprieve at the 11th hour,

Like interrupting the man when he's talking?

Like on a date?

Like the fact that he's only ten.

Like what?

Like, I'd say a line, and then he would say a line and then...

Like, it's not literally about pooping where you eat.

Like, what's the deal with the beer ads?

Listen to me... I'm not crazy.

Listen, Dildo, your friend is sick, you've never touched a tit

Listen, I just have got to tell you how excited we

Listen, I've got a patient I need you to meet.

Listen, Lola doesn't deserve you.

Listen, Owen, I had a... friend who was always making

Listen, we're sorry we tried to label you earlier, put you in a box.

Listen... I just got a call from corporate.

Listen... I'm not going to beat around the brisket.

Lives end just like stories.

Lola hasn't even been born yet.

Lola, Blake here used to perform a lot of abortions.

Lola, what are you doing?

Lola! Oh.

Lola's a ghost!

Lola's dead.

Long lost son of Arthur Childrens.

Long story short, my old man used to smack me on the head

Look at me, Chief.

Look at me.

Look at that. Oy!

Look at you.

Look, are you right handed or are you left handed?

Look, Glenn... What's past is past, but I've fallen

Look, here's my card.

Look, I don't want to interrupt here, and you're one of our best,

Look, I know it's a children's hospital,

Look, I'm sorry.

Look, kid, do you want to be a girl?

Look, our relationship is on the rocks. I can't do this without you.

Look, this proves it... a cellphone from the future!

Looking good.

Looks like someone's afraid to make a bet.

Looks like you gave him a "Woody Harrelson. "

Looks like you guys could use some help.

Looks like you two have a lot to talk about.

Los Angeles... Even India.

Lose the young white male in his prime.

Love that coffee machine, Sy.

Lucky to be a woman.

M... M... M... M... Malcolm!

Magic time.

Malik! Malik, darling.

Mama mia!

Mama mia.

Man, this locker room isn't haunted.

Man, those Puerto Ricans can cook.

Many fans, next Friday at 10:30 P. M. marks the end of an era.

Marnie, Lenore, Shira, and Steven.

Max! Hello?! Anyone here?!

Maybe I should take off my stupid integrity too, huh?

Maybe the rules are there to protect us, after all.

Maybe we can get that drink now.

Meet the new fuehrer, Sy Mittleman.

Microsoft, Cisco, E Trade.

Microsoft, Cisco, eBay.

Mm, looks like somebody forgot their cough drop, Dr. Spratt.

Mm, not for me. I get dizzy.

Mmm, he's cute.

Mmm! You taste like vitamins.

Mom, I did it. I cured cancer.

Mom, I'm right here.

Mom, this is my boyfriend.

Mom!

Money in your account just simply disappeared?

More than you'll ever know.

Mr. and Mrs. Leplante, why now?

Much like I do whenever I watch a roast Jeffrey Ross doesn't host.

Much like I... much like I wa... a roast that he doesn't host.

Murderer!

Must find child molester.

My best friend, Dr. Lola Spratt, is dead.

My body's more broken than the American healthcare system!

My boyfriend Nicky's advanced aging disease is getting worse.

My dancing career is too important to me.

My lease is up next week anyway, so no biggie.

My monster, from his slab, began to rise, and suddenly,

My organization has a very large stake in the revenues from cancer treatment.

My private practice is over, and I'm ready to... Wow!

My private practice went out of business today.

My private practice went out of business today. But it's okay.

My son is with child!

My ticker's getting hard.

My very good friend Paul Hogan is a former millionaire.

My water just broke.

My wiener's out. Boy. Oh. Ha.

My wife and I want to keep Daniel!

My wife wants to be a better jazz dancer, and we need to get rid of Daniel.

N... needed?

Nailed it.

Neurology rules, oncology drools.

Never really knowing what the others are thinking or feeling or dreaming.

Nevertheless, it's my source of rage.

New England and Brazil, and I am never, ever sick at sea.

Next on "Blake Downs, M. D.," America loses a dear friend.

Next to the coffee machine.

Next week on "Newsreaders," Kate Walsh, star of the hit series

Nicky will die very soon. Wait, what?! Hold on!

Nicky's dementia is getting worse, too.

Nicky's in no condition to give me support,

Nidhi, am I pronouncing that correctly?

No big... Wait a minute.

No one calls me that here. It's Blake.

No other doctor wants to treat the nerd.

No problem.

No re takes, no editing.

No time to explain.

No way. He's gross.

No worries. I think I just found my gravy train.

No, but I do watch a lot of TV, and I especially love the commercials.

No, Chief.

No, he's not.

No, I am not peeing on you again.

No, I definitely did not mean "he. "

No, I just really want to show her my sexy costume.

No, I really... I really cut my hand!

No, I'm not a ghost. I just have a really tiny bladder.

No, I'm telling you he had a huge knife in his stomach.

No, it is that way, because he is ten years old.

No, Karen.

No, no, I'm good. I'm good, it's fine.

No, no, it's not the heat.

No, no, no.

No, no. I'm not Blake.

No, no. If you have to save some money, fire a doctor.

No, right there!

No, shut up, shut up!

No, the black guy from "Ghostbusters," his name is Ernie Hudson.

No, the former.

No, when I find you, you won't touch any more children's bottoms ever ag...

No, you are a clown. You will always be a clown.

No! Aaaah!

No! Don't go!

No! I am not dead!

No! No, wait! Chief! The pole isn't secure!

No.

No. Dudes, dudes, dudes. You can't park your bikes here, okay?

No. Goodbye forever.

No. Lola's dead.

No. The only doctor who can do it is Dr. Knuckles.

No. You get in here.

Noah's had no unusual symptoms?

Noah's medical problems had nothing to do with this.

Nobody has to give up anything, Glenn.

Nobody will listen to me!

None of those shows have made it to another season.

None of us knew it would get so big so fast, did we?

Not a children's hospital.

Not be treated by a clown. Or a Jew.

Not even a little. Not even a peck.

Not even close.

Not gonna happen.

Not if I see you later, alligator first, crocodile.

Not kill her.

Not the beating thing.

Not the bushes, you idiot, the car!

Not this again. Look, Gladys,

Nothing! Aaah! Please don't hurt me!

Nothing. I was just walking by

Nothing... to... set... up... this... week...

Now hand over the cure, Glenn, and start enjoying your

Now I'm going to put my hand...

Now let's get this towelhead up to the O. R., huh?

Now let's go to Room 16 and cut off my finger.

Now maybe you can visit me sometime.

Now people will judge me for the content of my character.

Now put it where his finger used to be.

Now step aside!

Now you guys talk.

Now, do you think you can read the mind of someone who's

Now, everybody know your assignments? Get it in here.

Now, I do have to point out, just medically speaking,

Now, I would do it, but come on.

Now, if you have the time.

Now, tell me... Who cut your hair?

Now, what are you, Blake?

Number two, your daughter will never walk again.

Of my guilt over leaving home for his own financial gain.

Of the terrible and humiliating things my father used to do to me.

Oh Ià Ià, I love it when a man can speak a little French.

Oh my God! Oh my God!

Oh, crap. Okay.

Oh, geez Louise.

Oh, Glenn.

Oh, God, I just wish you'd become a doctor like your brother.

Oh, God, that's disgusting!

Oh, God!

Oh, God. It's happening so fast.

Oh, God. Okay.

Oh, he's doing it!

Oh, here's something else I can watch and comment on.

Oh, hi, Dr. Gaffer.

Oh, I date cool ****.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I got to go to the doctor.

Oh, I got to go... Get out of my way!

Oh, I know! I could do

Oh, I know.

Oh, I need coffee.

Oh, I only wear these when my regular ones are at the cleaners.

Oh, I was just remembering how normal your vagina used to look compared to now.

Oh, I'm sure you've crammed yourself into tighter spaces.

Oh, is that true, Blake? Were you an abortionist?

Oh, is that what he calls it?

Oh, it just vibrated!

Oh, it's a long boring story, but the basic thing is I didn't die.

Oh, it's hot.

Oh, it's relevant.

Oh, it's... It's nothing.

Oh, Lola.

Oh, look, it's crying.

Oh, man, that was fun.

Oh, man. This is awesome.

Oh, my God, David.

Oh, my God, I don't know how people can drink this stuff.

Oh, my God, that's insult comic Jeff Ross.

Oh, my God, you guys. I left my phone in the 1980s.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! Child molester!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Are you done, Don Rickles? What's the deal with this guy?

Oh, my God. I almost forgot

Oh, my God. Valerie, what's going on?

Oh, my God. You tell me right now, you son of a bitch.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my... Are you blind?

Oh, no, it's not.

Oh, no, they... I... I told them.

Oh, no! No!

Oh, no.

Oh, no. That means I'm out of time.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, okay. Thanks.

Oh, right! Weird. Huh.

Oh, she perioded.

Oh, shh!

Oh, sorry. Never mind.

Oh, Sy, hello.

Oh, talk to me.

Oh, that's it. Come on.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, there's a lot of stairs.

Oh, this is fun.

Oh, this is gonna be such a great day with all our little babies.

Oh, this is so frustrating.

Oh, this whole Valerie thing. I can't get over it.

Oh, uh, the Chief was a very funny woman who I worked with at the real hospital.

Oh, Valerie... Come on!

Oh, wait. Wait.

Oh, what's this?

Oh, yeah, this whole thing.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you... You can see me.

Oh, you're the best, Sy. Thanks.

Oh!

Oh! My balls!

Oh! Oh! Malik!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Sorry, nurse.

Oh! There's something happening in here.

Oh.

Oh. All right. Well, I got to poop this kid out.

Oh. Here she comes. Yeah.

Oh. Hey, this might be a little confusing for you,

Oh. I got it.

Oh. Is he? I could be wrong about all that other stuff.

Oh. Okay, she's not taking it.

Oh. Thanks, Dori.

Oh. Wow. Yeah.

Ohh kay!

Ohh!

Okay, a sorority party bus flipped over, so I got a sexy

Okay, all right, all right, all right, all right.

Okay, all right, everybody, we've come to a decision on the costume contest.

Okay, drywall. Got it.

Okay, good.

Okay, great.

Okay, I'll give you my passport.

Okay, let's stop there, Valerie.

Okay, okay, I'll come clean.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, okay. Well, you know what? For one night, why not?

Okay, sweetheart, you calm down and come on with me.

Okay, Sy, uh, let's circle back with you on that

Okay, then.

Okay, Tyler. Here comes "Catheter Zeta Jones"

Okay, what do you got?

Okay, Willow, time for your juice.

Okay!

Okay.

Okay. A penis.

Okay. Cool.

Okay. Here we go.

Okay. Let's do this.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Wait... what's this?

Okay. Whoa. But...

On behalf of all of the kids' parents, I'd like to formally drop all charges.

On the contrary... Rabbis are forbidden to abstain from sex.

On the surface, filming this last episode was

One last time before you died.

One less thing for me to worry about.

Only a handful of other doctors have done it.

Only you can get the information

Only, this show won't spend its first day of freedom getting

Ooh

Ooh, it never gets any easier, does it?

Ooh, my heart is beating so fast.

Ooh.

Oops. I got to get that.

Opera teon.

Operadion.

Option, like in cases of **** or incest or if the mother's an a hole.

Or "Doctors save hate spewing, crappy music loving date rapist. "

Or "Kid Emergency Room," you'd be wrong.

Or are you scared that people are gonna mistake you for a ten year old boy?

Or do you want to be the president or a lumberman?

Or else!

Or her/his pissing technique.

Or is that just the inside of my nose?

Or maybe it's a little bit of both... A beginning and an end.

Or maybe it's the beginning.

Or the black guy whose name I can't remember.

Or the stinky fish salad.

Oto

Otoacoustic.

Otoacush... ot... otoacoustic... oto.

Our voices stop, but our stories live on.

Out there, you'll be suffering from an acute case of cancer yourself.

Ovarian cancer.

Over 150.000 dollars a year.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ooh, ow, ow, ow, ooh, ooh!

Ow!

Owen, get over here!

Owen, I can't keep this baby. I'm not even in love with Nicky anymore.

Owen, meet me in room 4, now!

Owen, stop it. I'm not a ghost.

Owen, this isn't gonna work. It's not the movies.

Owen, were you abused by a costumed character as a child?

Owen!

Owen.

Owwww!

Oy!

Pa... parox... paroxy... oxysmal... yocult.

Pal? Hardly.

Paperwork can suck my big, black...

Parents don't know what to choose... The meat and potatoes

Party at Andy Dick's house.

Peace in the Middle East.

Peer adion.

Penicillin.

Penis illin.

People finally started liking you when you got that coffee maker.

People lived so I could have some peace while walking.

People to write letters.

People we thought we knew were just more babies wearing masks.

Perhaps the time has come.

Perhaps you've noticed a change in his/her vocal pitch

Period. Period! Oh, my God.

Petty theft, and falsifying medical information.

Phew, that is horrible.

Please find me a home. "

Please stay away from my personal belongings.

Please.

Plus, I think he's a little retarded,

Plus, it just stopped being fun.

Plus, you get to have a penis.

Pork shoulder?

Preferably one near the door.

Previously on "Childrens Hospital".

Previously on "Childrens Hospital"...

Previously on Childrens Hospital...

Prostate cancer.

Push 10 ccs of Lidocaine, 20 ccs of pitosin, and 100 ccs of cool jazz.

Push. Damn it.

Put down the hazardous material container!

Put him on morphine, that'll be funny.

Put on CNN, MSNB... Yes.

Put on CNN, MSNBC, Fox News and I'm done.

Quickly, please.

Rabbi?

Rabbis can't have sex?

Rabbis don't eat pork.

Rain check, Dori.

Ready to be beamed up.

Really great. Can I just tell you?

Really? Did they have advanced aging disease like Nicky?

Repurposing the dividends into auction market preferred stocks.

Rerouted here for emergency treatment.

Respect, and admiration that we've earned through years of

Retarded boyfriend to the other side.

Reunite with my dear, sweet Louise.

Reveal yourself, ghost!

Richard Gere is in a new movie.

Rid of the coffee maker.

Right before I went to the hair salon. Weird.

Right now, it's the opposite of the end.

Right, and then you said "Or else. " Right.

Right.

Righteous!

Room, at this second, right now, watch.

Roosevelt? Japs?

Rules are the boundaries between order and chaos.

Rules.

Said something under my breath.

Satisfied. Extremely satisfied.

Say hello to Mr. Coffee.

Scandal that would mark the beginning of the end of

Schmoitle, it's touch and go with this one.

Screw the others.

See that, everybody? Despite initial impressions,

See you around, alligator.

See, that's what I want to talk to you about.

See? He fell. I mean, what's up with you, man?

Senator, please... The question was about your wife

Senator, that's impossible, because Daniel is a...

Serving together.

Sexy handicapped doctor.

Sexy homeless person, and a sexy section of drywall.

Sexy nurse, sexy stripper, Chewbacca, sexy hot dog

Sexy schoolgirl, and little Ernie Hudson.

Sexy snake charmer!

She banged Tommy Lee.

She did just come in.

She got a job as a nurse in a children's hospital

She was kind of a bitch anyway so she probably deserved it.

She's a little bit shy, so I brought her special

She's archaic and redundant.

She's losing blood!

She's losing blood.

She's totally in love with him but pretending to hate him so that we think she's cool.

Shoot Henry Winkler!

Shoot him! Shoot him!

Shouldn't you be able to poop wherever you want?

Show me on Montana.

Show would eventually become.

Shut up. I need a doctor.

Sir Tinkle Button.

Sitting there the whole time, like, "Uh! I'm not a doctor! What do I do?"

Skid marks, double butt, waist boobs.

Slow down

Slow down, slow down, slow down, slow down!

So cryptic.

So don't look directly into its ey... Aaah!

So let's just call a spade a spade, okay?

So many questions.

So no air conditioning today.

So that was a success.

So the only way for me to do that is to cross over to the spirit realm and find her.

So we put aside our differences and did what you wanted.

So what are we all thinking right now?

So what you're telling me is it'll cost more to get

So what you're telling me is that he walked out of here

So what you're telling me is that outside of being punctured by a large knife,

So, bye.

So, go ahead, officer. Handcuff me, take me away.

So, I ask you, when someone goes into that chapel and they get

So, ready titles.

So, Sy resolved his dilemma.

So, the begend.

So, the prettiest shiksa in all of Brazil.

So, uh, without further ado, the real Dr. Blake Downs,

So, what do you want to read tonight?

Society spits on costumed characters like me

Some for you... And something for you.

Some for you... Some for you... Some for you...

Some people dig holes, some people teach, some even go to to the moon,

Some people say the past is not past, or even over

Some stories are blond with Scandinavian features.

Some stories are just better than others, more interesting and prettier.

Some thought that the writers had lost touch with their original vision.

Somebody call my name?

Somebody help me!

Somebody please help me!

Somebody please help my son!

Something about the heat is making me really horny for him.

Something suspicious is going on over at Ride World?

Something that might happen.

Something's wrong with me

Sometimes the worst in people brings out the best in others.

Sometimes we're all alone in our pain, and sometimes

Sometimes when you're really hungry and you really have to

Somewhere under all the masks we acquire, we're just babies...

Son of a bitch! He did it!

Soon it will be the end.

Soon to be free public wi fi, courtesy of big pharma.

Sorry, Owen.

Sorry, white kid.

Sorry. My staff hates you, so I have to pretend that I do, too.

Spaceman? Okay, but hold on just a second.

Speaking of families, how come on TV, family arguments are

Speaking of masks, Sy hasn't been himself lately.

Stairs!

Stand... alone... episode. Enjoy.

Starfleet Command will be made aware of what you did here today.

Started a little company called the internet...

Still doing it? Yeah.

Stop and we'll just switch the, uh... Switch it over.

Stop it!

Stop zapping me!

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

Stop! One more, as if you loved me.

Stories without endings...

Substance is to apply extreme heat.

Suck it, oncology.

Suck... it.

Suddenly Lola runs in!

Sultan Habrah bin Baneez of Sardonia!

Sultan would like to know where is Malik?

Sultan would like to meet the hand specialist that will make him whole again.

Supposed to be fixed by now, apparently hasn't been fixed so

Sure.

Sweet American can help.

Sy, last year, I was riddled with muscular and neurological disease.

Sy, someone left an orphan here.

Take 'em off.

Take a dump, you got to do what you got to do.

Take it to a World Wide web café. Go!

Take me now!

Take off the stupid makeup and do the operation.

Take off your ghost clothes.

Take that out of your mouth.

Take this baby.

Tales filled with beauty...

Tales filled with tragedy...

Taye Diggs or Tim Daley?

Teachers?

Tears of joy.

Tell me about it.

Tell me about the scandal.

Tell me what this makes you think of.

Testicular cancer.

Thank God!

Thank you so much.

Thank you, Daffy Giraffy.

Thank you, doctor.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Thank you!

Thank you.

Thanks a lot.

Thanks for seeing me. You know, I can't see my normal Ob Gyn anymore.

That definitely does not make sense.

That dialogue isn't relevant anymore.

That doesn't even look like you.

That friend ended up helping my friend get through it.

That is all.

That is gross.

That might happen. Aah!"

That must be hard, suddenly not being the boss anymore.

That was beautiful.

That was Daffy Giraffy, the mascot of Ride World.

That was my intention.

That was quick.

That your son is well beyond the traditional age for an abortion.

That'll give me more than enough time to find her

That's "Phil Time" for twenty seconds.

That's a pork shoulder.

That's actually a common myth. There's a trap door in the floor.

That's all we are.

That's because you weren't paying attention.

That's Cat Black to you.

That's confusing. Sorry

That's considered work, and she can't work until sundown... You know, Shabbas.

That's crazy. I need you.

That's it! The ride is unsafe.

That's it.

That's just the brain tumor talking.

That's me two years ago.

That's my brother.

That's not an organ.

That's not my gut.

That's not my heart.

That's not what I hear.

That's not what I said.

That's the kind of thing these pinkos say all the time in

That's what it is!

That's what we're calling it 'cause I'm twenty seven years old!

That's when the final episode airs for the first time, in one sense,

That's... a big deal.

The "never makes the bed syndrome. "

The actual end begins about a week ago.

The aforementioned Marnie, Lenore, Shira, and Steven.

The air, "Childrens Hospital" is pulling the plug.

The answer to your question is... Yes, we are all best friends in real life.

The baby or not has me so confused

The baby's coming fast!

The biggest.

The cast of "Childrens Hospital. "

The character that I play on the show, was based.

The choice is between tomorrow's headlines reading

The customs of my country dictate that I must marry a woman with royal blood.

The DNA test and then you'd marry me.

The elevator's haven't been working since they shot "Scrubs" here.

The end.

The first person to hear the news was Dixie Peters,

The first time a doctor was portrayed on television...

The food in the cafeteria is made of people.

The future of this hospital depends on it.

The heart medication I give to my patients? No...!

The heart rates are falling.

The heat makes people do silly things.

The idea of doing another episode makes me physically ill.

The kid and all that business and... Yeah.

The knife is just a small piece of the puzzle.

The last chick I saw walking like you was Pam Anderson after

The makeup or the man?

The man that plays the clown makes me sad.

The masks, the whole peasant girl dealie... Uhh...

The name is Lola Spratt, Dr. Lola Spratt.

The New York Times says this show will never get cancelled.

The power is out, and the generators are running the medical equipment,

The pro life stance is essential to my re election bid.

The producers hired Fred Nunley, a well known TV veteran who has

The rain in Spain!

The regarding of something as important or significant.

The relocation.

The returns into municipal slush funds

The richest and most powerful sultan in the Middle East would

The show had become a global phenomenon.

The show itself was breaking new ground, such as this scene from season four,

The show's cancelation was announced after the first

The spoiler and 18 inch rims please stop lying to himself?

The stock tips!

The story lines became convoluted.

The sultan is now leaving and will likely die from having no finger.

The sultan is on diplomatic business, and his index finger

The sultan will be here in five minutes.

The sultan will never know the difference.

Their mom left us 28 months ago, and, well,

Then Daffy Giraffy drops them off so Ride World isn't liable for their injuries.

Then procreate me.

Then we grow up and change until we realize that the

Then you know what? Give me that scalpel.

There is no friend, is there?

There was this pilot that was made originally for daytime TV.

There we go.

There you are, boo boo.

There you are.

There's a new patient coming in.

There's been an emergency.

There's never more than two clowns in the car at once.

There's only one other doctor that could do this procedure,

There's something extremely, extremely urgent I need to tell you.

There's something wrong with my son.

There's still no power but nurse Dori will be serving fried eggs.

There's this procedure. It's expensive.

These are tits.

These colors don't run.

They can barely take care of themselves.

They didn't feed me enough.

They don't breathe at all.

They finally trimmed the bushes!

They say a watched pot never boils, but what about

They were rushed here from the building collapse.

They'll be sure to abort me then.

They'll kick me out of nursing school.

They're all the same.

They're gonna continue the show indefinitely.

Think that you ought to have sex with me or somebody

This flagpole fell and pierced them both without hitting any major organs.

This form is different from this form.

This friend is you, and you're talking about some kind of sexual tension.

This information is no good.

This interview.

This is a direct conflict with your cholesterol medication.

This is a P. R. nightmare.

This is a very complicated issue, you know.

This is a very difficult time for you, isn't it?

This is a working hospital.

This is criminally irresponsible.

This is exactly what the ancient scrolls said you would say.

This is highly offensive, Glenn.

This is it... The end that I was talking about before.

This is not an emergency.

This is not on you.

This is one nutty hospital.

This is our last hope.

This is quite a moral conundrum.

This is so hot.

This is the 1960s, guys.

This is the biggest decision of its life!

This is the closest hospital, and you must reattach the royal finger.

This is Viagra. This is the wrong pill.

This is why you went to medical school.

This is your costume?

This kid works at a knife factory after school.

This place is full of doctors.

This poop chute is haunted.

This whole confusing confusion about whether to keep

This... is my sexy costume.

Those people are pretentious.

Those pricks. One more random thing.

Three days, you guys got nothing.

Throw it on your wrist like a cool watch.

Time of death 10:00 P. M., 9:00 Central.

To combat the sagging popularity of the show,

To do this procedure, and today, that puts me at a real disadvantage.

To figure out if we've checked those children.

To help you go "Sarah Jessica Pee Pee. "

To listen to President Roosevelt's update on the war.

To move your pieces around.

To my surprise, he did the mash.

To save a great leader!

Tobey Maguire!

Together, we can save millions of lives.

Tonight, we're doing something very special.

Too many insults in my head at once.

Took me a long time to get in that spotlight.

Totally kidding. It's fine.

Trace the call! Come on!

Trippy, right?

Try again.

Turn that label upside down.

Turned out it was her husband who had been beating her.

Turns out my hard work paid off.

Twelve year old child, both sets of genitals.

Two cameras are down.

Two more broken arms.

Two things... Number one, I get hard when a woman cries.

Uh huh.

Uh oh.

Uh, atten... Attention hospital staff.

Uh, attention hospital staff... The elevator, which was

Uh, female, between the ages of 25 and 35.

Uh, hold on. Hold on.

Uh, I wouldn't call these highlights nothing.

Uh, it's $20 a room or $25 for the one with no fumes.

Uh, so, uh, what can I do for you, Valerie?

Uh, yes.

Um, am I the only one that thinks

Um, do you have time for cancer?

Um, I may... I'm gonna move my car.

Um... S... Scalpel?

Undercover lollipop salesman.

Underneath it all, we're people,

Understand, Glenn, that we understand how hard it is for you to understand, Glenn.

Unless you don't date ****.

Unless, of course, it's a Mexican novella.

Unwilling to let go after fifteen years on the show,

Unwritten upon, innocently pooping in public places.

Up top.

Up, up, and away!

Urethra and take pictures of his urinary tract.

Using only the healing power of laughter,

Using the healing power of laughter.

Valerie, do you mind?

Valerie, prepare the anesthetic.

Valerie, Valerie, I can't take it anymore.

Valerie!

Valerie. Here goes.

Very beautiful.

Wait a minute, Chet.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Who do you work for? How can I get in touch with you?

Wait a second.

Wait a second. Have you been here this whole time?

Wait, can you hear my thoughts?

Wait, guys.

Wait, is this Max?

Wait, my phone.

Wait, officer.

Wait, what are you doing here? Owen's looking for you in the spirit world.

Wait, what?

Wait, what's happening?

Wait!

Wait! No! No. No.

Wait! The finger surgeon has arrived.

Wait.

Wait. I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. What?

Wait. My car's gone.

Wait. This form is different than this form.

Wait. What are you doing?

Wake up, sport.

Wanted to make sure these boys were okay.

Was it Pete Wentz, the lead singer of Fall Out Boy?

Was that friend you, Dori?

Was the best part of my manhood, the best part of myself.

Wasted at a strip club.

Watch "Blake Downs, M. D." Tonight after "Childrens Hospital. "

Watch this. Hey, I got news for you.

We all have a job to do.

We all have a story to tell.

We are merely talking to each other with the honor,

We can enjoy his particular brand of ball busting as long as we want.

We can move on to the, uh... operation scene room.

We can only save one of the men

We can't save the both of them!

We can't take the gurney through the stairs.

We choose the latter.

We cut off your penis and scooped out your ovaries.

We don't have Wi Fi. That's why it sucks.

We don't know. It might grow hair.

We don't want two cripples in the family.

We fool around, we joke, and... Two people died today.

We get a fun visit from Daffy Giraffy,

We got to figure out what's really wrong with this kid.

We have a situation here.

We have made part of the hospital into a youth hostel.

We have the finger right now, Mr. Sultan.

We lost Jeffrey Ross.

We may be trapped here for a while, but help is on the way.

We need a nurse, not Florence Nighting whale.

We need to get on the Internet. Do you have a laptop?

We thought the new doctor was coming in.

We thought we would know what to do by now.

We used to have one.

We watched you die right here in this room.

We were playing in the parking lot and we fell. That's all.

We wrote letters, and she saved the hospital.

We'll get in touch with you, Dr. Richie.

We'll treat your son.

We're all like worker bees here,

We're broadcasting live, as it happens... Aah!

We're doctors and, damn it, we took an oath to first do no harm.

We're done!

We're everywhere, Glenn.

We're going live now.

We're in town for a show and decided to stop by.

We're just all alone and there's nothing to...

We're just gonna add him to your interns today and call it even.

We're just not making ends meet.

We're live.

We're losing her.

We're Puerto Rican gang members, just like you.

We're the Boom Town Breakdance Troupe.

We've got to do the whole thing with one camera.

Welcome, friends, to the season finale of "Childrens Hospital. "

Welcome... to... the new... episode... of...

Well, I am off to buy a hot dog and the late edition for a nickel.

Well, I guess that's her thing.

Well, I have brought my "wittle" baby daughter,

Well, I just downloaded this third party

Well, I would like to announce that Lola is back from the grave.

Well, I'm feeling pretty lucky.

Well, if Blake were here, he'd say something like,

Well, if you had said anything other than "Childrens Hospital"

Well, it looks like you're free to go.

Well, it was really nice meeting you, Rabbi McJewjew.

Well, it's a no.

Well, it's not that simple, Rabbi.

Well, let me tell you something.

Well, maybe you should think about taking them off.

Well, my personal relationship with G o d.

Well, see you later, alligator.

Well, sorry. Didn't you and Lola have a thing?

Well, that is definitely something a rabbi can do.

Well, that's gonna take about thirty to fourty five seconds

Well, that's wonderful!

Well, then heal them with laughter, not with...

Well, then how come I can put my hand right through you?

Well, then I guess I'll see you later, alligator.

Well, then let's get back to what we were talking about.

Well, then, here we are.

Well, this is it, and it feels so good to be 100% free of that makeup.

Well, uh, guess I'll, uh... I'll see you later, alligator.

Well, uh, if... If no one else was available,

Well, we do have fantastic coffee.

Well, we gave it a good shot, but one of these guys is gonna die.

Well, we have Glenn's finger.

Well, well, well.

Well, well, well. What do you know?

Well, well, well. You again.

Well, what needs to be clarified?

Well, which hand do you use?

Well, yeah, I can see that with the soldiers taking

Well, yes.

Well, you can listen to the tabloids, but here's my side of the story.

Well, you helped to save "Childrens Hospital,"

Well, you know what?

Well, you know, in Talmudic times, Rabbi Hillel was faced with a similar dilemma,

Well, your daughter has 20/20 vision,

Wet.

Wh... how does that prove that I'm not a ghost?

What a brave sacrifice.

What a success story.

What a whiner.

What are you gonna do?

What are you laughing at?

What are you talking about, ese?

What are you talking about, nurse, uh..

What did you say? I'm so sorry.

What do I stand for?

What do we got?

What do you keep looking at?

What do you mean?

What do you say you and me get a drink sometime?

What happened to you, by the way?

What I should have been doing this entire time...

What if someone finds out we let them die?

What is even the elblow?

What is going on?

What is penis illin?

What is the difference between a friend and having nobody to talk to?

What is this? Huh?

What is this? Tell Mommy.

What is with the, uh, big beige scrubs?

What is your deal?

What means this word, "hate"?

What means this word, "needed"?

What medical drama about doctors working in a children's hospital

What mother wouldn't?

What shade of awesome are those things,

What started out as a routine multiple pole impaling has

What the hell are you doing here?

What the hell happened here?

What the hell is going on here?

What the hell is that?

What the hell's the matter with you?!

What the...? This isn't the maternity ward.

What?

What? Dr. Knuckles isn't accredited.

What? Is there a problem?

What? No! No!

What? Out of my way, drywall!

What? What? What?

What? You prefer I have sex near your son or above your son?

What'd I say?

What's my old partner doing here?

What's on your mind? You look troubled.

What's the over under on people?

What's the second most important thing in the world to you?

What's the story, Nurse Beth?

What's wrong? The guy doesn't like looking at engorged vaginas? Sounds like a jerk.

Whatever.

When am I gonna find out who shot J. R.?

When Arthur Childrens founded this hospital, he had an

When Dad here takes you to the ballpark, do you like a

When I saw this kid out in the parking lot with a broken arm, so

When I was younger, my father was in the army,

When I'm under, no peeking at my wiener, okay?

When it gets hot, the human brain loses all sense of decorum.

Where are the harmonies, huh?

Where are the kids?

Where are you taking us?

Where did he touch you?

Where did you come from, little one?

Where is he going?

Where is it?

Where the hell is the bionic arm I asked you for?

Where was I?

Where you're going, you're gonna get your lollipop licked plenty.

Where'd he go?

While I was stuck, day in and day out, year after year, on this show.

White blood cell count: Elevated. Slight fever.

Who am I, anyway... The makeup or the man?

Who am I... I got it, I got it!

Who are the wizards that came up with these things?

Who are you, anyway?

Who are you?

Who do you think runs congress?

Who do you think teaches your kids how to read?

Who doesn't?

Who played Dr. Cat Black up until this season, when her

Who... Who am I?

Who's with me?

Whoa, Dr. Maestro!

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa, whoa!

Whoa! You okay?

Whoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

Whoo hoo!

Why are you looking at Blake like that?

Why are you still talking like this?

Why do you do it?

Why does it always rain in Seattle, never L. A.?

Why don't we double or nothing on the Cavs?

Why don't we just ask shim how her/him sees hermself.

Why don't we just run some tests?

Why don't we just start over?

Why don't you leave me alone?

Why don't you sit here with me, and we'll receive your confession.

Why don't you try the healing power of medicine?

Why is there an Ob Gyn clinic in a children's hospital?

Why is this part happening?

Why was he using the deli slicer?

Why won't you listen to me?

Why would someone send me pork shoulder? I'm Muslim.

Why would that explain anything?

Will you think about it?

With a lot of different sides, a lot of different viewpoints.

With a sledgehammer.

With any luck, that kid will slip into a coma.

With Blake's medical know how and your muscle memory,

With nano probes, sir.

With no sign of anything wrong at all?

Within a 10 mile radius.

Within a few months, the coffee machine had paid for itself.

Wonderful.

Word is the cancellation... has been canceled.

Would it kill you to make a decent cup of coffee?

Wow, heavy.

Wow!

Wow! I'm talking about her vagina.

Wow! That was terrible.

Wow.

Wow. I mean, if I'm being honest, it didn't sound very menacing.

Wow. That cough sounds expensive to fix.

Yay!

Yeah, 2134 Foxgrove Court.

Yeah, and I drive an unmarked white van 'cause I'm an

Yeah, but I didn't say it like that...

Yeah, but now I'm living for myself, now.

Yeah, but that's nothing. You should hear my pin number...

Yeah, come on!

Yeah, he had a fever, an upset stomach, and then he just passed out.

Yeah, I actually own my own real estate business, so...

Yeah, I am.

Yeah, I got it. I'm on it.

Yeah, I know in the past that I've said some things and I've...

Yeah, I love her.

Yeah, I totally have it.

Yeah, I wanted to show you my sexy costume.

Yeah, I was. But after he died,

Yeah, I'll send the chief up.

Yeah, it is exciting.

Yeah, like on a date,

Yeah, man. Have you checked the children?

Yeah, she can't pick that up.

Yeah, sure, totally.

Yeah, that sounds good.

Yeah, who cares?

Yeah, you wait!

Yeah! Whoo!

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah. I'm listening, Sy. You talk.

Yeah. What is that?

Yeah... So they want me to ask you some questions.

Yes, and that.

Yes, it's true.

Yes, the hand specialist is not here right now.

Yes, you will.

Yes.

Yes. When I sit down.

Yet, no one would speak about the 200 pound gorilla in the room.

You are a ghost! I knew it!

You are going to feel a little bit of pressure here.

You are like my ex wife, always worrying about

You ask me if I have a God complex.

You better not be screwing me.

You can always watch television.

You can pick up loose change with it.

You can tell them not to bother sending in the clowns because

You can turn down the heat after you boil an egg, but it's too late.

You can use it as a skateboard.

You can whip it out at parties, hit people in the face with it,

You can't do any of that fun stuff with a vagina.

You can't do the operation?

You can't give birth with a dick.

You can't jack off a dead butterfly.

You can't judge a book by its cover.

You can't think of anything to... Talked about the "book by its cover" thing,

You could fry an egg on my boobs.

You could play a house on "House. "

You could say he bought his popularity for the small price of his soul.

You cured cancer.

You did it! Oh, it's a boy!

You did not go to medical school, and until you do, you will take a chill pill.

You did this for me, didn't you?

You don't love me.

You don't need to know who we are.

You give your cancer cure to big pharma, and we'll give you a great big check.

You got a card?

You got a cellphone? Let's set an alarm.

You got to do what's in your heart.

You got to flatline me.

You got to go with your gut.

You guys better save me, or my dad's gonna sue the crap out of this place.

You guys know each other?

You guys stink, by the way. You stink.

You had sex with my son?!

You have done more than just solve the financial problem of this hospital.

You have got a gift, young lady.

You have to pay them a lot more money.

You have to see what's going on.

You have to start thinking about sticky icky icky now.

You have to take the stairs.

You have to think about Nicky right now.

You just don't get it, do you?

You just keep remembering.

You just want to treat Jeffrey Ross' son, don't you?

You knock it off!

You know hospital policy on sunglasses.

You know I can't hear you, right?

You know what syndrome they should name after you?

You know what?

You know what? Why don't we just get out there and save some lives?

You know what? You're a sellout!

You know, I mean, there are times when abortion is a valid

You know, this kind of reminds me of that drug bust back in Queens. You remember?

You know, to procreate is our duty to the race.

You know?

You let the real surgeons handle this.

You listen to me.

You look like so and so and so and so had a baby.

You look really hot.

You looked at your coffee, and then you looked at Lola.

You mean boy, because he's not a man... He's ten.

You mean I'm not gonna get in any real trouble if he dies.

You might say I'm headed for a bit of a nervous Blake Down... s. M. D.

You need someone who's gonna respond to you.

You never forget how.

You parked behind me?

You pretty much know what you're getting there... I mean,

You put on CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, I'm done.

You quit sulking!

You said it doesn't matter if you're male or female or both.

You said the latter.

You see, I have this... friend.

You see, we're not so different after all.

You seem to understand the delicate nature of this request, Dr. Spratt.

You still got the touch.

You think these tan faces treat you like one of their own, but they don't

You took the wrong pill so that we could make love again

You trusted these men's lives to this guy?

You two... You're sure you're not cops?

You used to be so kind.

You used to steal all my girlfriends and leave them brokenhearted.

You want to bone me even though I'm not alive?

You want to fire Lola so you can keep the coffee machine.

You want to make a bet? Whatever. You lost. Now you owe us 30 g's.

You went into a coma when Dr. Maestro pulled the knife out of you.

You were right.

You would know he's ten, because he is.

You would think he's ten

You'll notice that most young patients respond to almost

You'll see me in my sexy costume.

You'll watch the drama unfold in real time as our actors perform it

You're a great surgeon.

You're a monster.

You're adopted.

You're an alligator.

You're Blake?

You're both damn good doctors... and lovers, but I have to fire one of you.

You're fired, Dr. Spratt, because I would rather be liked than right.

You're fired, Dr. Spratt, because I'd rather be liked than right.

You're full term now,

You're gonna have blood on your hands if you don't help this guy.

You're gorgeous, you know that.

You're gorgeous.

You're guilty... of having the best damn coffee

You're here to take Cat's dying,

You're my brother. We're like magnets. Family.

You're needed in the O. R.

You're not going anywhere!

You're so handicapped, that you need your own parking space,

You're suffering from temporary onset of arthromendicular cralosis.

You're the one who has to get real.

You're trying to convince me to forget that I cured cancer

You're way sexier now.

You're welcome. Bye.

You've got the cool doctors.

You've got the nerds... The jocks... The goths...

Your car... It's gone. See?

Your daughter is very cute, Lola.

Your pupil dilation suggests of high bortiaphine levels, Captain.

Your Wi Fi sucks.

'Cause I support a woman's right to choose. All right. Who have we here?

"Figure out your life. " "Figure out your life. "

170. She got that right on the nose.

2115... What would happen if all the money

A doctor? Who? Who cares?

A g g g g ghost! No, I'm not a ghost.

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Ghost Lola! I am not a ghost, okay?! I didn't die!

Again? Mm hmm.

Ah. This came for you, Dr. Spratt.

Alex. Take this to the lab. Cut his legs off, dissect him.

All right! We got him! We got him!

All right. Ten minutes.

All righty. Let's get back to the hospital. Good to see you.

And she's not judging anybody. Shh.

Are you sure it's for me? Yup.

Are you talking to me? Huh? No.

Are you trying to... Yes.

As offensive as this, Jewy? Pork?

Aw, geez. I'm so happy you're bouncing by.

Bet he doesn't. He probably has a full time job.

Bet you he's eleven. What are we arguing about?

Blood pressure? Completely stable.

But I can teach you some German. Fine, fine.

But who're we gonna get to jack off all these butterflies? I would do that.

But you're an old friend, so I'll think about it. Yep. Oh, God! Thank you! Thank you.

But... How do you think it's going in there?

By a bunch of dudes. I'm sorry. I don't follow you at all.

Call security. Yeah, okay.

Can we please move on? Hold on just a second.

Can you help me? Cat, listen to me.

Cat, are you ready for this? Let's do it.

Cat, I need you to push! Oh, Lola.

Chet, this is your big moment, buddy. I'm on it!

Childrens. Have you checked the children?

Come on, come on. One second.

Come on, people! Go, go, go!

Come on! Give me the cash! Help! Help!

Cut my finger... Wait. Before you do that...

Did he touch you here? Yup. A couple times.

Did he touch you there? Mm hmm. Just the tip.

Did he touch you there? Mom, everywhere. We had sex.

Did I make? You're about to make.

Do you know any? No.

Dr. Jim Stansel, please report to post op. Well, Cat...

Dropping off. That's him.

Eh, just... Help! Help!

English! Shaky hands.

Ew! You're on your period!

Ew. Wh... Oh.

Excuse me, black and white lady... Shh!

Fifth? Billy Barty's fingertips?

For old time's sake. Here we go. Whoa!

Fourth? Banana bread?

Gaaah! I'm not dead.

God, this nurse is such an idiot. I heard that, too.

God. Sarcastic much? I wasn't being sarcastic.

Great to see you, bud. You too.

Great. One more thing.

Guys, the sultan's arriving now... You stand down, Blake, you coward!

Have any names picked out? We're not telling anyone yet.

He goes to school full time. Maybe he's from the future.

Here we go again. His nurse is a dog in a costume.

Hey, Glenn. Oh, hey.

Hey, O? Yeah, babe?

Hey, Owen. No, thanks.

Hey, where are you taking me, anyway? I'll give you a hint.

Hey! Had to get a quick pic.

Hey. Hey.

Hi! He got you pregnant?

Hmm? I need to learn a little French.

Hmm? Sy.

Hmm? What has happened to you?

Honey, show me. Oh, my God.

How old is Nicky? Six.

How? Butterfly goop.

How? Pee on me.

How'd you find me? How'd I find you?

I bet you fifty bucks you can't. Yeah. What's up with that, Valerie?

I can see my grandma. You can?

I cured cancer, you dick! Huh?

I cured cancer, you dick. What?

I don't know. Come on, honky.

I don't think it's very sexy. No, no.

I don't. I'm serious. Don't you do that.

I got a job here as a nurse

I got a job here as a nurse. He died?

I have to rip $3,000 right out of the budget. Yeah.

I haven't done that in forever. I told you.

I just wanted to clarify... We did it.

I mean, you are the king. You're the king.

I want a kiss. Oh, my gosh!

I'll be here all week. Jeff.

I'll wash the child. Uh oh, I got a baby boner.

I'm coming over here if there's a tornado, okay? Definitely. We can hang out.

I'm gonna have a nephew. What?

I'm gonna need four. You got it, mister.

I'm not saying it's going to, but... Oh, good.

I'm pooping again. Clip it off!

I'm shutting down. No, Jeff.

I'm so happy you could join us. Sorry I'm late.

I'm sorry... And that's that.

I'm thrilled that you're here. Wow, there was traffic. I have my period.

If Gene Simmons... Hey, I'll do it, I'll do it. Go, go, go.

In prison. Ew.

It costs 15 g's. Well, I'm a doctor. I'll do it.

It just hurts so bad. I know.

It's 15 g's. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's a real dog day afternoon morning, huh? No.

It's almost impossible to find one cure. Oh, yeah? Check it out, honky. Boom! Haha!

It's like an open faced reuben. I can't keep this baby.

It's Nidhi. I do not care.

It's probably like one year old, maybe a little older. Yeah. It's nice. Great.

just like we used to. Whoo!

Just two clowns... Wha...?

Let me kill them. Yeah, do it. Go for it.

Let's do it! Let's cut him open!

Let's never do that. I bet he drives a car.

Like what? Just, like, all this stuff.

Look at Mommy. What?! What?!

medicine. I can do both.

Mmm! Ha cha cha!

Mmm. Oh, my God.

Mr. Bo Jiggles. No.

My bad. Mom.

My chooq is still hard. Yeah.

Nice hair. Thank you.

No one believes me. And it's Ernie Hudson. They don't call you "Lola" in heaven?

No, you're not. I am!

Noah, do you have any pets? I have a fish.

Now suture... Yeah.

Now, wait a second. What?

Oh, God! Ow. Ow. Oh. Ow. Ow.

Oh, hells yeah. Why'd you stop?

Oh, wait. Owen.

Oh, yeah? Prove it. How?

Oh, yeah. What have we got here?

Oh, you disgust me! God. Yes!

Oh! Uh oh.

Oh! You're referring to a clown car. No.

Oh. Mm.

Oh. Really weird.

Oh. These were my fat scrubs.

Oh. Wait a second. That's it.

Okay, so let's start killing some butterflies. No, no, no.

Okay. Uh oh. I forgot to take my pills for my ticker.

One, two, three... Childrens Hospital!

Ow! Nobody can hear you out here.

Ow! You just broke my arm! Quit whining!

Park, am I pronouncing that correctly? Yes.

Penis. Interesting. One more.

Penis. Very cool.

Procedure. Yeah.

Push the button! There's no time!

R I P. L O L.

Ray's always wanted a son... Scalpel!

See this mark on the ulterior colon? Mm hmm.

See you, Chet! All right. Enjoy your weekend.

Shh! Off me, clown.

Sixth? Uh...

so you probably have to ask my mom. Okay, but still, this is kind of important.

So, we're cool? Oh, yeah, we're good.

Stay in it. No, you stay in it!

Sy... Great coffee, Sy.

Thank you. And is your bank account 89598292?

That makes good sense. Hats make good tents!

That's enough. Wow! You guys should see this thing!

That's good. Hey.

That's my time, folks. No!

The monster mash. Aaah!

They just hate it when you... No, no, I get it. I get it.

Third? My glass menagerie?

This is my scary costume. Oh.

This is not brain surgery. But it is a surgery

Vitals? Strong.

Wait. Uh, okay, wrong door, wrong door.

Wait... Wait a second. Into the O. R.!

we just might be able to... Wait a minute, Owen.

We lost her. Listen, don't you blame yourself.

We need more time. Damn it!

We'll bring you to see a doctor. Okay.

We'll, uh, get... Hi.

We're just here for our appointment. It was at 10:30.

We're just men and women. Ah, yeah.

We're not gods. No.

Well, I don't blame myself. Don't.

Well, thanks for showing me your basement. Thanks for coming by.

Well, that sucks. I'll cut off my own finger!

Well, yes. Hot dog!

Well... And I'm not gonna give that up.

What can I do? Ooh, girl, whatever you want.

What does the chief think about this? Oh, she doesn't care.

What happened? I lost another one.

What is this? Lollipop.

What? I'm dying over here!

What's the call? Too soon to tell.

Whee! Whee! Whee! There we go.

When you do that, I can't breathe. Oh, yeah.

Where's the passion? I'm sorry, Daddy.

While attending a starfleet event nearby... Um, you mean the

Wow! I know.

Yeah, I'm gonna... I think I parked behind you.

Yeah, that's 'cause you're feeling it. Yeah, it's beating too fast! Ow!

Yeah, uh... Sy.

Yeah, you might be right. Is it the bile? Is it the blood, the mucus, the semen?

Yeah. Wow. What an amazing gift.

Yeah. Is that you? That is... as a baby.

Yes. Oh.

You guys, get in here! What?

You have flair, mister. I... I guess so.

You know I have wife, don't you? Oh, yeah, Pam.

You know, that's actually kind of hot. Wait till she sees his wiener.

You mean a sledgehammer just like this one? No way.

You promise? Mm hmm.

You think? Yeah.

You want some? Do I... What?

You want to do another pass? Absolutely.

You were fat? Mm.

You'll send it right back? Yes.

You're a Ronald McDonald paint job! Hey!

You're dying, girl. What?

You're going home tomorrow. Hot dog!

You're not fired. You're re hired. Sweet.

You're there, you're there, you're there

Your call. My instinct is to let them both die.

...The beginning.

'Cause I decorated it myself, and I'm pretty proud of it.

'Cause I've been up here for an hour, and nobody's been by to check them.

'Cause we'd have to gut the whole kitchen.

"Attention. "

"Attention": Notice taken of something or someone,

"Beloved grandfather, war hero, and black American lives through a tragedy"

"Big Bang Theory" has its moments.

"Brazil's Most Haunted Locker Rooms. "

"Childrens Hospital," as well as the end of the middle of our news story.

"Childrens Hospital. "

"Childrens Hospital" had jumped the shark.

"Childrens Hospital" lives to see another day.

"Childrens Hospital" on three.

"Deliver to Lola Spratt. "

"Don't poop where you eat. "

"Dr. Downs syndrome. "

"Father. " "Mother. " "Daughter. "

"I am a doctor. "

"It's hard for me because I don't speak English.

"Jeffrey Ross. "

"Keep your laws off my body. "

"Lollipops for any occasion, discretion guaranteed. "

"Nerd Con" at the convention center next door?

"Newsreaders" set out to document this historic final episode,

"Or else!" I said it menacingly.

"Owen, you do the surgery. "

"Please help me. My real parents can't take care of me.

"Private Practice".

"The Arsenio Hall Show" has been cancelled.

"This might happen.

♪ And I don't know who this kid is, but she's really looking ♪

♪ around like something's going on. ♪

♪ cover eyes that are already closed. ♪

♪ Dream land, it's me and you forever. ♪

♪ Dream land, it's me and you... ♪

♪ Dream land, it's me... ♪

♪ Here come those creepy kids. ♪

♪ I get that, but this is ridiculous. ♪

♪ I know breast milk is best, ♪

♪ I'll be your Cinderella. ♪

♪ I'm about to lose my way until we can be together again... ♪

♪ It's 11:59, ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ These parents are really worried about their son, daughter, son, whichever. ♪

♪ Valerie and Owen make out over the hermaphrodite's surgery and ♪

♪ Waiting for Shabbat to end so that she can plug him in. ♪

♪ we're runnin' out of time. ♪

♪ Well, now, we can certainly blame the **** for that one, too. ♪

♪ You're mine, it's in my M. O... ♪

♫ What you knew... ah ah ah ♫

Childrens Hospital (2008) - Season 2
Childrens Hospital is a critically acclaimed television show that first premiered in 2008. The show, which is a satirical take on medical dramas, quickly gained a dedicated fan base due to its unique and outrageous humor. Season 2 of Childrens Hospital further solidified its reputation for absurdity and comedic genius. The cast of Childrens Hospital is made up of a talented ensemble of actors who bring their comedic chops to the screen. Rob Corddry, who also created the show, plays the role of Dr. Blake Downs, a clown doctor with an unsettling signature face paint. Malin Akerman portrays Dr. Valerie Flame, a skilled surgeon who is constantly exploring her deep emotional issues. Lake Bell is cast as Dr. Cat Black, a doctor known for her ability to deliver babies instantaneously. Additionally, the show features a star-studded lineup, including Ken Marino, Erinn Hayes, Rob Huebel, and Megan Mullally, among others. Season 2 of Childrens Hospital, which aired in 2009, took the irreverent humor and satire to a whole new level. The show continued to parody the tropes and clichés of medical dramas, highlighting their absurdity in a way that left viewers in stitches. The episodes were filled with ridiculous medical emergencies, over-the-top characters, and unexpected plot twists. One of the standout episodes of Season 2 is titled "Frankfurters," in which the doctors of Childrens Hospital discover an unconventional treatment for various diseases – the healing power of hot dogs. The episode hilariously explores the lengths doctors are willing to go in search of innovative medical breakthroughs, even if it involves unusual and comical remedies. Another memorable episode is "Joke Overload," in which the doctors of Childrens Hospital are plagued by a mysterious epidemic – an excessive amount of jokes. This episode brilliantly satirizes the tendency of medical dramas to inject unnecessary humor into serious situations, highlighting the comedic juxtaposition in a way that had viewers laughing uncontrollably. Throughout the season, Childrens Hospital continues to push the boundaries of comedy and absurdity. With its fast-paced storytelling, clever wit, and stellar ensemble cast, it manages to keep viewers engaged and entertained. Playing and downloading the sounds of Childrens Hospital is a great way to relive the hilarious moments from Season 2. The unique and distinctive sound effects, along with the infectious theme song, are sure to bring a smile to your face. Whether it's the sound of Dr. Blake Downs honking his clown horn or Dr. Cat Black delivering a baby with lightning speed, these sounds capture the comedic essence of the show. If you're a fan of irreverent humor and satire, don't miss out on Childrens Hospital – Season 2. With its talented cast, outrageous storylines, and brilliant writing, it's a television show that will leave you in stitches. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the comedic brilliance of Childrens Hospital as you play and download these hilarious sounds that will surely brighten your day. To play and download the sounds of Childrens Hospital (2008) - Season 2, visit the official website or your preferred streaming platform. So grab some hot dogs, get ready to laugh, and immerse yourself in the madness and hilarity of Childrens Hospital.
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