King of the Hill - Season 2 Edit

A big Texas sized twister, I tell you what.

A bird pecked my head.

A blockhead? Now, that's hitting below the belt.

A cattle tribesman might have traded this for a new loincloth.

A cup of coffee, a slice of pie and a handshake

A fella could get a lot of work done in shoes like that.

A flag with gilded edges is the flag of an Admiralty court.

A high pressure system coming in. Moving lower to...

A juvenile is always stretching his clothes, you see.

A Level 5 tornado is headed right for Shiney Pines Trailer Park.

A little girl swallowed one just like this by mistake.

A man came by from Shiney Pines Trailer Park today.

A man wearing jewelry. That's funny.

A member of your family is saying goodbye.

A museum or university might give you $50.

A rake, you say?

A rock? That is no rock.

A series of tornadoes has touched down in Arlen County.

A storm that strong will send an egg through a barn door.

A treasure such as this is priceless to my people.

A Wahashaw bracelet is not jewelry. It's a badge of honor.

A young brave would give one of these to a girl he liked as a symbol of their bond.

Acts like a big ol' taco grande, man, with them dang ol'...

Actually, I was thinking of trying one of them scented lures.

After people stopped buying his records.

Afternoon, everybody.

Ain't that right, J. R?

Ain't you gonna introduce me to your golden throated friend, here?

All around you they splash and splash, but not you.

All in the same place, you are just asking for trouble.

All raked and bagged, Bobby.

All right there, Red Head. Back you go.

All right, Bobby. I don't want to force you to choose.

All right, Bobby. Why don't you read that Sunday school report to me...

All right, fella, there you go. Tell your friends:

All right, I took him to Junie Harper's. He's a lot better off there.

All right, I'm coming.

All right, if the Caddo could play Chunkee with a stone disk...

All right, ladies!

All right, men. Let's paint some ass.

All right, now you take the brush.

All right, Sgt. Dauterive.

All right, that's it.

All right, that's it. Everybody off my property.

All right, then.

All right, twister, it's just you and me now.

All right, way to go!

All right, you got a deal.

All right. Ease off. A little chunk will do you.

All right. Five more minutes and that's it.

All right. I'll start grating the potaters.

All right. Let's do it.

All right. No need to bring that up.

All right. What is going on, Hank?

All there is is a man, a rod, a lake, and a fish.

All this time I thought I was an extra extra large...

All you can eat.

Almost makes me sorry to send him to the farm.

Although I still think "Hank Heck" works just as well.

Am I right?

Am I to assume Nancy should continue worrying?

An Admiralty court signifies a Naval court martial.

And all she wanted to do was show it to us.

And all we'll have to dream about is the last time we went fishing.

And being different is the best thing in the whole wide world.

And brave. Thank you.

And buckle him into the back seat, facing us, so we both can watch him.

And can I have ones, you know...

And cherry blossoms.

And clear your head?

And die friendless and alone like Weird Al Yankovich.

And fun is the cheese.

And go over anything you might have taken out of context.

And he doesn't wear cowboy boots, because he's not a cowboy.

And he still thinks Halloween is just for fun.

And here's one for you.

And I ended up with a new tool shed?

And I sell propane and propane accessories...

And I spoke in a way that a man should never ever speak to his wife.

And I want to thank my dad...

And I wanted you to spend it with me.

And I was wondering if you knew what it was.

And I wrote you a song.

And I'll buy you that album you want by those guys I hate.

And I'm very disappointed in you.

And I've lined up all the parts.

And if forced, I will commandeer the vehicle.

And if I hit a snag, pie à la mode.

And if that means one day he ends up on Oprah...

And it all goes to benefit the schools. Plus free doughnuts.

And it all starts with a hand dug American worm.

And it's cooked with Strickland propane, too.

And it's my responsibility to bring this job in on time...

And kick her out of the nest.

And Luanne...

And mini golf.

And neither is Hank's idea for a haunted house.

And nine times out of ten, they go right for the groin.

And not exploring each other's bodies.

And now they want to brainwash my boy?

And now this.

And old people go to make out?

And on account of they squish his toes.

And one to go.

And pantyhose for the lady.

And return without incident.

And that sounds like your dad, Connie.

And that's the story of what happened to my boots

And that's where Mom's going.

And the first guy to do it is not gonna be some fat old desk jockey.

And the fish know the difference.

And the icing on the cake is when God smiles on you and you hook one.

And the mother, although well meaning, is usually wrong.

And then blow on it.

And then they danced.

And then when you're reeling it in, everything else falls away.

And then, one day, my Uncle Fess lost his in a tornado.

And these Sunday school kids are tough!

And they kept firing and firing.

And they let me keep the underwear.

And this is one of those times.

And this!

And those were the Reagan years.

And tries to drag you into its grave, remain calm.

And Unpaved Access Drive. "Luanne Platter, resident."

And we want to be your friend, too, Mr. Holloway

And what's that, a witch?

And where the heck is Bobby?

And with your addictive personality, of course that led to...

And you can never be denied coverage based on what you eat.

And you don't have real boots, or guns, or nothing.

And you have a smelly condo development full of crying babies...

And you know what?

And you make a wish for something magical.

And you two, get off! I've gotta return this pimpmobile in the same condition.

And you were worth every penny.

And you're driving the monkey to the airport.

And, if I'm not mistaken, this model comes with a hat.

And, young fella, you lose.

And...

Andy Maynard always goes on first.

Anything?

Anyway, I just remembered I promised Bobby I'd take him fishing...

Anyway, what brings you in? New rod, new reel, what?

Apparently, some people consider Halloween a religious holiday.

Archaeology can use all the friends it can get, with all the red tape we put up with.

Archaeology is a game of patience.

Are gonna spend the next 24 months making Texas State license plates.

Are you all right? I didn't hear the TV on.

Are you gonna come quietly, or do I carry you out baby tantrum style?

Are you sure? Juries eat that up.

Are you taking me to the vet?

Are you talking about a fat kids' store?

Are you too sexy for your shirt or aren't you?

Aren't you supposed to spend it on your big client?

Aren't you the company man!

Armed only with a broom handle and a pillowcase

As an American citizen, I have the authority...

As close to the good Lord as you.

As I was telling Ray, Jack...

As of this time, we have no reports of injuries or of injury footage.

As part of my work required sales excursion.

At a store like H. Dumpty's.

At Arlen First Methodist.

At least, I hope to God.

Aunt Peggy, why don't you sit down with the TV for a minute...

Baby birds! Where's your mommy?

Back to work.

Bad news, Uncle Hank. I had to order a new fuel pump.

Bait shop worms are factory farm worms.

Bait? You call it "bait." I like that. What you looking to spend?

Because I can always find something I like

Because I have nowhere else to go?

Because it makes it easier for him to trick you.

Because it's more sophisticated than what we're used to.

Because the Satanists made her run over her cat.

Because we're very busy.

Because you look too fantastic.

Beep, beep, beep!

Beep.

Before I sentence you...

Before we discuss this ancient Indian burial ground...

Believe me, I know.

Believe me, no one is smiling.

Besides, every man needs to be cut from his ball and chain, now and again.

Besides, I know he a good boy.

Besides, it's littering.

Billy Ray Walters, you've entered a plea of guilty.

Bobby and I don't like to do that.

Bobby and I have been in the yard all day, digging things up.

Bobby got in trouble, too. I had to take off work.

Bobby Hill has joined the Hallelujah Club.

Bobby Hill. You're talent.

Bobby should see this, too.

Bobby, Al Yankovich blew his brains out in the late '80s...

Bobby, come meet our new rototiller!

Bobby, Connie, watch and learn.

Bobby, here's the key to the March of Dimes gumball machine.

Bobby, I know you're probably pretty upset with me right now...

Bobby, I'm proud of you

Bobby, if you leave now, you'll never get the key to the kingdom.

Bobby, if you're scared, you can stay out here.

Bobby, it's just a costume.

Bobby, models are some of the happiest people on Earth.

Bobby, next Halloween you're gonna be too old to dress up and get candy.

Bobby, that attitude is a little immature.

Bobby, that is so kind...

Bobby, there are times when a father knows best...

Bobby, we love you so much.

Bobby, what's the idea of acting up in class?

Bobby, you can tell your Sunday school class...

Bobby!

Bobby!

Bobby! Of course I am.

Bobby?

Boo.

Boom, man! Cow flying all over the place.

Boomhauer, grab Hagatha.

Boomhauer, I can't understand a word you're saying!

Boomhauer, I didn't understand a word you just said.

Boomhauer, I didn't understand a word you just said.

Boxers or briefs?

Boy, I'm glad I opened that immediately.

Boy, I'm sure glad your grandma kept my old costume!

Boy, Thatherton, those are some pretty tough sales quotas, I tell you what.

Break time's over, darling. The kitchen's backed up.

Break time's over, darling. The kitchen's backed up.

Brought to you by Mega Lo Mart.

But a cowboy don't talk politics at the chow wagon. Happy trails.

But a cowboy don't talk politics at the chow wagon. Happy trails.

But a customer had his lap broken by one of the dancers.

But a lot of things end up different from where they start.

But apparently, nein means "no." So, I blew a big opportunity.

But as a member of our team.

But he wrote the book on homemade bait.

But her parents fought, the trailer tipped over...

But I don't have a trailer, because it tipped over.

But I don't see what good it'd do, since I don't even have my own room.

But I don't want to scar the carpet.

But I guess I can't do that this year.

But I guess you have no respect for man's law, either.

But I know who can.

But I thought I never had to go back to that trailer.

But I...

But I'm the only one fishing God's way, with a worm.

But if you think you're smart, you can resist him.

But it can also mean much more.

But it wouldn't have to be, if you'd left us some of those chips

But it's time for him to move to the next level.

But it's where a lot of us got to second base for the first time.

But Mom says you sold out my future for $10.

But my county needs me.

But of course they lock those up.

But one day you'll understand how much love it takes to crush a little boy's dreams.

But one of these days, when your propane mixture's only 89 percent...

But Ray was telling me about your bait...

But sometimes you make me wonder what the hell is wrong with you.

But that does not make them any less beautiful.

But that was Bobby's punishment.

But that's why my clothes never fit right.

But the bottom line is still the same.

But the man I admire most is a real Texan.

But the wind blew all his clothes off.

But we got some competition. M.F. Thatherton.

But what will Andy Maynard think?

But when I have this uniform on, I'd appreciate a little respect.

But you played dirty, and you leave me with no choice.

But you're upset together, and I'm upset all by myself.

But you've got the haircut of an honest man.

But your time is so valuable.

But, God, put them in the right order.

But, Peggy, you shouldn't make such a fuss over me.

By eating babies by the light of their jack o' lanterns.

By the Texas Propane Association...

By the way, he knows his cat didn't run away now.

By the way, I'm gonna need to follow you home.

By tomorrow, he will have forgotten all about that fashion show.

Calm down, for Peggy Hill. Look at my hand.

Can I have another brownie?

Can I have it?

Can I have some more butter for my pancakes?

Can I talk to you privately for a moment?

Can only be described as a hate crime.

Can we please have it quiet?

Cane Skretteburg has never been shot

Cane Skretteburg!

Careful now, this Frito pie is spicy, spicy, spicy

Carlo is a little upset today. He had a spat with Orlando.

Carlo, help!

Certain plans of mine require additional Gribbles.

Chaos will descend upon the well organized.

Check it out!

Check this out.

Cheese logs.

Chest, shoulder and back."

Chiffon?

Cockroach 101.

Come on now. Off my hook.

Come on, Bill. Don't rub his nose in it. Wingo, man!

Come on, Bobby, let's go.

Come on, Bobby! Halloween is just no fun without you.

Come on, Bobby. Let's go to the Fun Center!

Come on, boy!

Come on, darling. Time to get wet.

Come on, guys! It'll be like sneaking into an R movie.

Come on, Hank, fish or get off the pot.

Come on, Luanne! That's the craziest thing I ever heard.

Come on, Luanne.

Come on, Mr. Hill. We all use drugs. Even the President.

Come on, push it over. Knock it down, quick!

Come on, son, let's go trick or treating.

Come on, son. I'm just trying to keep you from being embarrassed.

Come on, son. Let's get some candy.

Come on, take the bait. You know you want it.

Come on, this is very exciting!

Come on.

Come on. Hurry up.

Come to the shelter! Run!

Congratulations, Bobby.

Congratulations, you passed!

Connie, you need a lift?

Cool, Dad. What is that?

Cool!

Cool! That's, like, for an emergency or something, right?

Could cause sterility in weaker children.

Count it. It's all there.

Course, it's just a bunch of scribbles, 'cause he never went to school.

Creating a snapshot, if you will, of daily life at that exact moment.

Cut! That's it! Go home, everybody. None of this ever happened.

Dad, the raccoons are back!

Dad, the raccoons are back.

Dad, what are you looking for? Are you looking for chicken?

Dad, who is gonna take care of me?

Dad!

Dale will bring the fire department. They'll find us.

Dale, Hank only fishes with worms. Why, anything else would be cheating.

Dale, you giblet head, if you were gonna cheat...

Dale, you have your sunglasses on.

Damn right

Damn.

Damned legalese.

Dang glad to meet you, M.F.

Dang old boo, man!

Dang old boo, man!

Dang old bully, man, y'all.

Dang old wedgie city up here, man.

Dang old...

Dang, Boomhauer! She's a beauty.

Dang, man! That's quick. You done hooked.

Dang, man. You've got to watch that friendly fire, man.

Dang, Ray! What happened?

Dang, these are Texas size hot towels!

Dang!

Darn right there'll be punishment.

Dear Lord, let them find those kids before I am in laws with Minh.

Desk jockey?

Did a great job, I'll tell you what.

Did even one of you find me a new one? No

Did I miss one of your "Ray's Gone Trout of His Mind" sales?

Did you bring your comb?

Did you come over to have breakfast with me...

Did you even notice that Luanne was crying when she left here?

Did you know I was the first in my family to go to beauty college?

Did you know that the Caddo Indians played a game like football?

Did you know that, thanks to Colonial Valley...

Did you see some potbellied old guy with loser glasses come huffing past here?

Did you think I'd forget that? Come on, bring it on.

Did your father ever make you drink blood?

Dinner's one of the few things Bobby's good at.

Dinner's ready. Where's Grandpa?

Do not encourage this monster. This is vile!

Do you have any idea how you look?

Do you know any witches yourself?

Do you know how to start a man's heart with a downed power line?

Do you mean right here?

Do you really think Bobby is special in that way?

Do you really want to take that away from him?

Do you see them?

Do you think Alex Trebek is sexy, Aunt Peg?

Do you think those earrings would look nice on me?

Does your father know you're doing this?

Does your mother know you're doing this?

Doing down there in the Boneyard?

Don't edit yourself

Don't explain a home run, you'll have a heart attack.

Don't lie to me, Hank. I am not stupid.

Don't make this a contest for my friendship.

Don't mind me. I've seen a barrel of pickles in my day.

Don't play mind checkers with me, man. I'm not in the mood.

Don't put your stuff down there! I called this whole makeup counter.

Don't start off with ice cream right away.

Don't tell me that old lady's in there, too

Don't tell me you were jealous.

Don't tell!

Don't try to figure them out, they can't be figured.

Don't turn dinner into school, Peggy

Don't worry, Nancy. I'm sure they're safe...

Don't you believe it, Peggy! They're not so smart.

Don't you cuss at me, Jimmy Dean. I'll set my dog on you.

Don't you like beer? I love beer.

Drop your weapons or suffer the consequences!

Eat Wells, sugar free, low fat Fun Bars.

Either you reel one in tomorrow, or the two of you...

End up putting half of Arlen out of business.

Especially if you live in a trailer park, because, as we all know, Jim...

Even if they are, there's nothing that lovers do...

Even though I was fathered by another man...

Even though you secretly suspected I did, on June 18, 1995.

Every night, my boss makes me put on this humiliating outfit...

Every once in a while a guy suspects his wife has a thing for another man.

Every snowflake is different in its own beautiful God given way.

Exactly one hour after I landed two 10 pound bucket mouths...

Excuse me, Professor, I'm Hank Hill.

Excuse me. Can you show us how to operate these pants?

Excuse me. Come on, Bobby.

Excuse me. I'm Hal Dumpty, the owner here at H. Dumpty's.

Fashions for a new millennium.

Feel better. Bring me back a shot glass.

Fellas, could I have your attention, please?

Fellas, my name is Hank Hill, and I'm the block captain.

Fidelity Mutual Insurance...

Finally, a judge with some common sense.

Fine, we're even. But I think you owe my lawn an apology.

Fine! Go on, all of you!

Finish up them Little Debbies and get back to work.

First of all, I'd like to say "halo" to everybody.

First of all, in the eyes of the Lord, you're a genius.

First we look for Kahn Jr. At Contemporary Art Museum.

First, thank you to Mrs. Peggy Hill for organizing this field trip.

First? Me?

Fish bait?

Five horsepower Briggs and Stratton engine...

For advancing the cause of knowledge? Come on, I want to hear it.

For crying out loud, it's 5:30

For goodness sake, just put on your glasses.

For her migraines.

For lewdness and conduct unbecoming a propane salesman.

For the G strings?

For the next 3 months, I sentence you to live in a truck.

Found a fake artifact, and thought it was real?

Freeze! Hands where I can see them!

Freshness jars. Sure don't get that at Mega Lo Mart.

From established religious authorities...

From now on, you leave the parenting to us.

From now on, you leave the parenting to us.

From the Comanches with your rodeo winnings?

From the University of Chicago.

From up there.

Fuel filters? Honey, quick.

Fun Center! Fun Center!

Fun Center! Fun Center!

G...

Gentlemen, let's try an active listening exercise.

Gentlemen, the John Deere 518R walk behind tiller.

Get down in there, don't wander around, what's wrong with you, man?

Get out

Get out of my mind.

Get the best of them.

Get used to it. You're in for the downhill ride of your life.

Get your butt off the cooler, Duke. His Honor wants a pudding.

Getting over the chicken pox is a milestone.

Getting some family portraits taken.

Ginseng? I don't need to get all hopped up on dope.

Give me something good to eat.

Give me something good to eat.

Give me that!

Give you something to do.

Go on now, get.

Go on. You're doing fine, sweetheart.

Go on. You're doing fine, sweetheart.

Go right ahead. And while you're at it...

Go to the Mega Lo Mart.

God, how humiliating.

God, they frame Kahn Jr. I'm here to grease some palms.

Good Lord! That could start a fire.

Good thing I just got back from fishing, or that would bother me.

Good thing John Redcorn's going with her. He can keep an eye on things.

Goodbye, Ladybird.

Goodbye, Luanne.

Got my own band. Playing next week at the Park 'n' Ride

Got one, man! It's a big ol'... Man, look at them big ol' teeth on him!

Got some cold ones here. They're cold.

Gotcha.

Grab a plate and settle. That means, "Be quiet."

Great! I haven't seen this one.

Guess what else?

Guess what? Monsignor Martinez rented a sports car...

Guess you had better start your goodbyes

Guess you'll be staying with us from now on.

Guys, where are you?

Guys? Seriously, I give up. Don't shoot.

H. Dumpty's is a store with special sizes for special kids.

Hallelujah, Bobby!

Halloween costumes are supposed to be scary

Halloween is a satanic holiday. It was invented by the Drewish!

Halt. Attention, golfers.

Hang on, Uncle Hank!

Hang on!

Hank

Hank and Kahn have gone in to pry them apart.

Hank and Kahn should've found them by now.

Hank gets all prettied up and then all combing his hair off to the side...

Hank Hill, how could you?

Hank, dinner time. I am stirring in the cheese powder.

Hank, don't do it.

Hank, I am giving you a look.

Hank, I gotta grunt.

Hank, I thought you told Dale not to mow at this hour.

Hank, let him dance. He's happy.

Hank, look.

Hank, maybe you should be taking the pictures.

Hank, no! You could go to jail.

Hank, over here!

Hank, please. Professor Lerner is no idiot.

Hank, think about what you are doing.

Hank, we can't afford another lawsuit.

Hank, while you're out there, turn off my hose.

Hank, you can offer all the denials and rationalizations you want...

Hank, you ever heard of Holloway Hollows?

Hank, you know Mrs. Junie Harper. She has some concerns.

Hank? A little privacy, do you mind?

Hank's entertaining a business prospect from the East, Mr. Kahn.

Hank's lucky he didn't get killed.

Hank's the man. Man, you're the fishing magician, man.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Happy Halloween!

Hard Copy's paying $500 for a flying cow video.

Have you forgotten who you are? You are Hank freaking Hill...

Have you seen Bobby?

Have you seen Joseph?

Have your rights been explained to you?

Haven't you heard? Our ancestors are monkeys.

He bad crowd! You punish him!

He didn't hide any drugs in my spark plugs.

He doesn't get it.

He doesn't have an oil well.

He doesn't own a Cadillac.

He gets his sense of humor from both his parents, thank you very much.

He got dirt all over my compost heap.

He is good with the fork and knife. I grant you that.

He is my daddy, Hank Hill.

He made me eat liver once.

He meant "roadie."

He says he can get Bobby lots of work.

He says he saw the ad, and he wants to meet us

He says you still got a trailer there.

He says you're bad father.

He sells his stuff out of his truck at the corner of 6th and Woodmont.

He truly was the Homely Genius.

He used to make me wear dresses

He was going to the gym.

He was in my front seat.

He was in the paper for his creative sentencing.

He will not, because he is a good boy.

He.

He's a preteen. He and Joseph rode their bikes here.

He's a Satanist, Bobby.

He's not back with my Pick 6 numbers, and I'm starting to worry.

He's not worth getting into trouble over.

He's real, all right. As in "real hot."

He's so cool. He said I could be the Stubborn Stains' groupie.

He's still out with Luanne.

He's stomping it good.

He's teaching at your kindergarten.

Hello, is there a Luanne Platter living here?

Hello, Joseph.

Helping my boy with his Sunday school report.

Her mama went to jail, and the cops hauled it off.

Here comes a ghost!

Here comes the shut in.

Here, let me give you my card. Hold onto that.

Here. I want all your names.

Here. Nancy gave me some ginseng tea. She got it from John Redcorn...

Here's a cold one for you.

Here's a picture of her, if it'll help.

Here's a thought

Here's what we're gonna do. You like trucks so much?

Here's your complimentary tote bag.

Here's your julep, Holloway. Let's talk propane.

Here's your sales kit.

Hey there, lifeguard! Look at you. Up on your perch so high.

Hey there, Luanne, Peg Leg.

Hey there, son.

Hey, Bobby!

Hey, Bobby! That sounds like your dad.

Hey, come on, buy me a mint julep. Then I'll talk to you about propane.

Hey, come on, guys!

Hey, Connie! I found you this.

Hey, Dad! You're just in time.

Hey, Dad? I was going over the stuff you told Mr. Holloway

Hey, everybody, listen up!

Hey, Fatty. You are fat!

Hey, G!

Hey, Hank, ten four to go to lower that rope.

Hey, Hank.

Hey, Hank.

Hey, hold your fire up there!

Hey, how about a lap dance?

Hey, I know.

Hey, I've seen that guy! He likes his sundae even on a Monday.

Hey, Kahn Jr.! Where are you?

Hey, look at this!

Hey, look! There's a real old Texas jukebox.

Hey, Luanne! Don't I look handsome?

Hey, man!

Hey, man! Check it out, man. I don't need no dang old costume, man.

Hey, man! Look at that rhinestone cowboy, man!

Hey, Mr. Hill.

Hey, never say I don't hustle for you, Bobby.

Hey, Peg Leg! Can you come out here and give me a hand?

Hey, Pops!

Hey, Randy, have you seen Bobby, and Joseph, and that Kahn Jr.?

Hey, Roy Rogers, Halloween was last year.

Hey, take a seat. Can I get you something? Water?

Hey, there is a hole up there. Look.

Hey, this isn't a restaurant review, it's a paid advertisement.

Hey, you.

Hey, you're Andy Maynard!

Hey! You shouldn't go in there.

Hi, Mrs. Holloway. Want some cold Frito pie?

Hi, Nancy.

Hi, Uncle Hank. I hope you don't mind, but I borrowed your razor.

Hi.

Hi. It's Luanne. How're you doing?

His antisocial behavior is a result...

His Saab has leather seats.

His scoop's bigger.

His whole family like a Tennessee Williams play.

Hold her up, Hank. She's a wall hanger.

Hold on a minute. An Indian friend of mine said it was sacred.

Hold on a second. I don't remember which way to go.

Hold on there. This is natural bait.

Hold on to her, Dale. Don't let her go.

Holloway himself has come down here from Boston to check us out.

Home of the world's longest salad bar, and second longest sneezeguard.

Homemade in the USA.

Honey, please, calm down.

Honey, you want a beer?

How about some fluorescent salmon eggs...

How about the other one?

How about we go to the Family Fun Center?

How about you, "J.R."?

How could he have fought in the Spanish American War...

How could Mom get pregnant with me if you spent the '80s...

How could you do that, Peggy, without even asking me?

How did he know I wanted a beer?

How did you come to that conclusion?

How did you know this was gonna happen?

How did you know to find us here?

How is this for evidence?

How long are we going to keep up this false charade?

How the heck does Jack fish with this stuff?

How versatile is propane?

How would you like it if someone bigger and stronger shot you up, you little freak?

How you gonna punish him, Hank?

How'd you like to freshen up with a nice hot towel?

How's a Dalmatian scary?

Howdy, Hank! HANK: Mr. Strickland.

Howdy, partners. Welcome to the Panhandler.

Hurry, it's the eye of the storm.

Hurry!

I already signed Strickland's top three accounts.

I also got that bike helmet you said you'd buy me if my grades improved.

I also have the authority to kick your ass...

I always thought you were afraid to wear boots 'cause your toes are fat.

I am a finely tuned ex high school athlete.

I am a high priced Washington lobbyist, peddling influence.

I am a substitute teacher, not one of your drug smoking friends.

I am learning so much.

I am looking to buy.

I am not a coward.

I am not afraid of you Satanists!

I am so mad at him and his precious self control.

I am sorry.

I am such a jumble.

I am such an idiot.

I am the greatest.

I am the most efficient killing machine the world has ever...

I am the one who first determined it was not a rock.

I appreciate that, Kahn, but I tell you what.

I appreciate your vote of confidence, and I just want to...

I believe a child benefits more from the psychological approach.

I called you "hon," and I'm naked.

I came to find you!

I came very close to spitting out beer.

I can always tell when a customer's ready for the close.

I can be a dang old mime, 'cause I'm trying to get out of his box.

I can purchase term life insurance for only pennies a month?

I can put my feet up behind my head. Want me to show you?

I can see you get your sense of humor from your daddy.

I can't believe they're staying home because of a curfew.

I can't hear a word you say until you address me as Sgt. Dauterive.

I can't hear the TV.

I can't hear you!

I can't help it. They trained me too well.

I can't help you, Bobby.

I can't live in a beer can. I can live in a trailer.

I can't remember.

I can't see!

I can't stand fighting.

I can't win it if I'm not in it.

I cannot be court martialed twice. That is all.

I care a lot.

I come all the way from Boston to see Texas.

I could be the first one to hide those bags under Michael Douglas' eyes.

I could get you an army tank from the base.

I could have gotten the title to her house if I'd complimented her stupid glasses.

I could have scored with your wife for the price of a fake bracelet.

I couldn't help noticing your son.

I couldn't wake up in the morning without your beautiful face beside me!

I couldn't.

I didn't even know he was real.

I didn't fill up with 89 octane for nothing.

I didn't have time to tell you about it, that's how little time we have.

I didn't know it was your birthday.

I didn't mean to curse my wife to hell.

I didn't use kite string. I used baling twine. Ha!

I do not recognize the authority of a court that hangs the gold fringed flag.

I don't believe it. Our first dig.

I don't care how many guys you held in the men's room

I don't care what she does.

I don't deserve to watch TV after what I did last night.

I don't even know what these things are.

I don't know about you, but I want to remember casting off...

I don't know how anyone is supposed to know what you're feeling...

I don't know how long I can hold on!

I don't know if I like your tone, Private.

I don't know much about Indians, but I do know tools.

I don't know, Dad.

I don't know. For sports and skateboarding and things like that.

I don't know. Looks like he died with his tongue sticking out.

I don't like Joseph. He threw a dodge ball at me once.

I don't like your story...

I don't mind you guys making fun of me on a daily basis.

I don't really recommend a cowboy boot for a chubby toed customer like yourself.

I don't understand.

I don't want any "Seymour Butt"s or "I.P. Freely"s.

I don't want my blood rushing to my severed head.

I don't want to argue this. I'll just take the $10.

I don't want to hear any more of your foolishness.

I don't want you to go to hell!

I don't want your business! Not this way!

I feel good right now.

I feel like I've died and gone to New York!

I feel like this guy will get me out of anything.

I feel terrible about what I said to you!

I felt so stupid.

I figured it was urgent, so I asked them to UPS it.

I followed you. Every twist and every turn.

I forgot something important.