Ricky Gervais Soundboard Edit

Accept your little award #award #thank your agent #golden globes #opening monologue

Baked beans or vegetable curry pt1

Baked beans or vegetable curry pt2

Come here girl pt1

Come here girl pt2

Come here girl pt3

Don't use it as a political platform #golden globes #celebs #no politics #lecture the public #out of touch

Everyone sweet when they're little although I mean hitler was probably cute when he was that age

He's nearly handsome

Humanity is a plaque pt1

Humanity is a plaque pt2

Humanity is a plaque pt3

I actually gave me a list of rules i'm going to ignore them but I thought it would be good to read them out OK

I just threatened a 10 year old with a hammer pt1

I just threatened a 10 year old with a hammer pt2

I want to try heroin tonight pt1

I want to try heroin tonight pt2

I want to try heroin tonight pt3

I was about eleven PM a complex and I said mom why my brother and sister so much older than maine and she said because you were a mistake

I'm more than sick alan i've got one of the worst diseases on the planet what is that man flu

I'm off are going to see some of the rest of europe alright you have a nice time while you talking raping hat

I'm tony

I've seen it is northern comic he came out and he just said what we're going to do all these fucking immigrants and he got a round of applause and I just thought that's not a joke

It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking how is charlie sheen calls it breakfast

Just 'cause you're offended it doesn't mean you're right I don't care

Liam Aids

Mister spock is half vulcan half human OK

My answer that for about twenty years she used to say I won't see christmas right she was right eventually

Oh look it's a ginger frankenstein

Oh no it's a joke yeah

OK so good having a job where you can get drunk and say what you want it's like can they still pay you

Postman pat

Pretty name three things you can cover with chocolate cake yourself someone else

Relax i'm going to try and be nice

Remember, they're just jokes #golden globes #joking #comedy #not serious #lighten up #were all gonna die

Shut up I don't care

Shut up you gusting pill popping sexual deviant scum

They want to fight me

Tony

What's your name

Would you come to the hospital and tell a dying child there was no heaven and I just sent back is this a paid gig

Yeah #yep #ya #yeah #lol #laugh #funny #yes #ok #okay #ricky gervais

You did it #your fault #not me #pointing fingers #golden globes

You know nothing about the real world #golden globes #real world #reality #ignorant #out of touch

You're Absolutely Mental #crazy #insane #mad #demented #psychotic #ludicrous #silly #mental #psycho #nuts #batty #cuckoo

You're the w*nker mate

Your real name