Main Content
Sound Added to Your Favorites Soundboard
Sound added

Log in or create an account to save your favorites, or they'll expire in 4 hours

Error Adding Sound
Error adding sound to your favorites.
Sound Reported
Sound reported and our moderators will review it shortly.
Error Reporting Sound
Error reporting sound. Please use the Contact page.
7 128
No Strings Attached (2011) "No Strings Attached" is a romantic comedy film released in 2011, directed by Ivan Reitman. The

No Strings Attached (2011)

"No Strings Attached" is a romantic comedy film released in 2011, directed by Ivan Reitman. The movie follows the story of Emma (Natalie Portman) and Adam (Ashton Kutcher), two friends who decide to embark on a casual and purely physical relationship. Their arrangement strictly forbids any emotional attachment or commitment, hence the title "No Strings Attached." However, as time goes on, they find it increasingly challenging to keep their feelings at bay and the boundaries between romance and friendship become blurred.

With its witty dialogue and charming performances, "No Strings Attached" explores the complexities of modern relationships and the challenges that arise when two people try to keep their emotions separate from the physical aspect. The film features a talented cast including a comedic ensemble with the likes of Kevin Kline, Greta Gerwig, Mindy Kaling, and Ludacris.

If you want to relive the laughs and romance from "No Strings Attached," you can play the film or download it through various streaming platforms.

No Strings Attached (2011) No Strings Attached No strings Attached Movie Attached *Nsync Justin Timberlake 'N Sync Fingerpick SFX Library Ok You Friends with Benifits Pinocchio (1940) Animation Avengers: Age of Ultron Trailer Pinocchio (1940) Pinocchio (1940) Animation Đồng Trương Thuận Goldon neko Sammit Badodekar Live Music by Piano and Strings: Sekaiju… Bibi Fricotin Chelsea De Avila Que no falte Fuerte No Soy Ashita No Nadja Toca no Farruda Bach SFX Pizzicatto SFX Library Tschaikowski SFX
A couple hours.
A couple hours.
A hungry pioneer lost on the trail.
A hungry pioneer lost on the trail.
Actually...
Actually...
Adam Franklin!
Adam Franklin!
Adam, I wanted to tell you. I was just about to tell you.
Adam, I wanted to tell you. I was just about to tell you.
Adam, this is an emergency.
Adam, this is an emergency.
Adam, what's going on? What happened?
Adam, what's going on? What happened?
Adam, you want to come back strong here. Go from a position of power.
Adam, you want to come back strong here. Go from a position of power.
Adam, you're wonderful.
Adam, you're wonderful.
Adam!
Adam!
Adam! Franklin!
Adam! Franklin!
Adam.
Adam.
Adam.
Adam.
Adam.
Adam.
Adam.
Adam.
Adam.
Adam.
Adam.
Adam.
Adam. All right, I'm not the perfect dad.
Adam. All right, I'm not the perfect dad.
Adam. Hello!
Adam. Hello!
Adam... old people scare me.
Adam... old people scare me.
Adam's episode is taping tonight, so Eli wanted to go.
Adam's episode is taping tonight, so Eli wanted to go.
All right, well, good to hang out.
All right, well, good to hang out.
All right? Be there. Bring anyone you want, all right?
All right? Be there. Bring anyone you want, all right?
All right? Hey. Great job.
All right? Hey. Great job.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Almost every day at the lab.
Almost every day at the lab.
Also, I'd like to leave the door open when I pee.
Also, I'd like to leave the door open when I pee.
Alvin and I have been talking about creating new life together.
Alvin and I have been talking about creating new life together.
Am I boring you?
Am I boring you?
And cut!
And cut!
And get in your car and come and see me.
And get in your car and come and see me.
And have sex for, I'm guessing, ten minutes.
And have sex for, I'm guessing, ten minutes.
And he was burying my bare body in the sand.
And he was burying my bare body in the sand.
And he's bringing Vanessa.
And he's bringing Vanessa.
And here is a prescription for an anti inflammatory.
And here is a prescription for an anti inflammatory.
And how much money do you have on you?
And how much money do you have on you?
And I don't care if you think it's too late, I'm telling you anyway.
And I don't care if you think it's too late, I'm telling you anyway.
And I might be kind of good.
And I might be kind of good.
And I might start avoiding you in the hallway, that's all.
And I might start avoiding you in the hallway, that's all.
And I think she really loves me.
And I think she really loves me.
And I think that... you got good at being strong for me.
And I think that... you got good at being strong for me.
And I think you thought you were at home,
And I think you thought you were at home,
And I was in a bush.
And I was in a bush.
And I'm feeling like I want to see other people.
And I'm feeling like I want to see other people.
And I'm gonna laugh in your face, Adam. I'm sorry, but it's what I'm gonna do.
And I'm gonna laugh in your face, Adam. I'm sorry, but it's what I'm gonna do.
And I'm still pretty high on the cough syrup,
And I'm still pretty high on the cough syrup,
And it never happens like it should.
And it never happens like it should.
And it's giving you a Care Stare.
And it's giving you a Care Stare.
And it's gonna be in the missionary position.
And it's gonna be in the missionary position.
And our favorite TV shows.
And our favorite TV shows.
And she looks happy, and...
And she looks happy, and...
And she's gonna fly down with Bones and help me shop for the dress.
And she's gonna fly down with Bones and help me shop for the dress.
And that I would like it.
And that I would like it.
And the thing about fucking in a Prius
And the thing about fucking in a Prius
And then I just thought,
And then I just thought,
And then I texted you my address, and then you came over.
And then I texted you my address, and then you came over.
And then they tell me it's my fault because I left it out.
And then they tell me it's my fault because I left it out.
And then three months in, my therapist died.
And then three months in, my therapist died.
And then you said that. It's not what I thought you were gonna say.
And then you said that. It's not what I thought you were gonna say.
And then you're like, "It'll never work, he's too happy."
And then you're like, "It'll never work, he's too happy."
And they are gonna hire a freelancer, so...
And they are gonna hire a freelancer, so...
And this is Lisa.
And this is Lisa.
And this is my sister, Katie, and her lover, Kevin.
And this is my sister, Katie, and her lover, Kevin.
And tripping our balls off.
And tripping our balls off.
And two of someone else's,
And two of someone else's,
And we were spooning with our clothes on,
And we were spooning with our clothes on,
And we... well, we'd like your blessing, Adam.
And we... well, we'd like your blessing, Adam.
And we're behind you a hundred percent.
And we're behind you a hundred percent.
And we're gonna look at the twinkly lights, and then...
And we're gonna look at the twinkly lights, and then...
And what were you dressed as?
And what were you dressed as?
And you can't... write on my wall.
And you can't... write on my wall.
And you're gonna call me up, crying.
And you're gonna call me up, crying.
And you're gonna have to deal with that.
And you're gonna have to deal with that.
And you're gonna think back to this moment,
And you're gonna think back to this moment,
And your time machine breaks, and you're stuck in the Medieval Ages.
And your time machine breaks, and you're stuck in the Medieval Ages.
And... I think you knew that.
And... I think you knew that.
Anytime. Need some help?
Anytime. Need some help?
Are you having sex?
Are you having sex?
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
Are you OK?
Are you OK?
Are you OK? Are you OK? What happened?
Are you OK? Are you OK? What happened?
Are you there? You're not there, are you?
Are you there? You're not there, are you?
Are you trying to get rid of us?
Are you trying to get rid of us?
Are you?
Are you?
As the days of the year roll by
As the days of the year roll by
At least you're writing, that's what's important.
At least you're writing, that's what's important.
Awesome. That's awesome for you.
Awesome. That's awesome for you.
Baby boy
Baby boy
Because clearly you're gonna fall in love with me.
Because clearly you're gonna fall in love with me.
Because he loves Lil Wayne, OK?
Because he loves Lil Wayne, OK?
Because I love you.
Because I love you.
Because my other underwear is dirty.
Because my other underwear is dirty.
Because you know I'll be your friend, no matter what.
Because you know I'll be your friend, no matter what.
Because you started taking off all your clothes.
Because you started taking off all your clothes.
Because you're women. And I think that's a beautiful thing.
Because you're women. And I think that's a beautiful thing.
Blow is blind, Adam. Blow is blind.
Blow is blind, Adam. Blow is blind.
Blow it out! Blow it out! Oh, Adam, happy birthday.
Blow it out! Blow it out! Oh, Adam, happy birthday.
Boyfriend. And my best friend.
Boyfriend. And my best friend.
Bravo.
Bravo.
Bring your friends. I will take care of you.
Bring your friends. I will take care of you.
But he has this...
But he has this...
But he really likes you and he definitely likes me,
But he really likes you and he definitely likes me,
But I got over it. You should, too.
But I got over it. You should, too.
But I have this family thing, and I grew up in Ann Arbor.
But I have this family thing, and I grew up in Ann Arbor.
But I just need to know how drunk you are."
But I just need to know how drunk you are."
But I love you. I'm totally and completely in love with you,
But I love you. I'm totally and completely in love with you,
But I wanted to tell you in person.
But I wanted to tell you in person.
But I'd just end up with a broken heart and a bunch of his old T shirts.
But I'd just end up with a broken heart and a bunch of his old T shirts.
But I'm not prepared to say that we didn't.
But I'm not prepared to say that we didn't.
But I'm so hungry.
But I'm so hungry.
But I'm telling you, be hurt.
But I'm telling you, be hurt.
But the good news is, she wants to put you on staff.
But the good news is, she wants to put you on staff.
But the worst thing you can do in life is to say no to love.
But the worst thing you can do in life is to say no to love.
But then again, she is a functioning psychotic, so it's like, who knows?
But then again, she is a functioning psychotic, so it's like, who knows?
But there is this extra episode right before the break.
But there is this extra episode right before the break.
But this is like, this is really fun.
But this is like, this is really fun.
But we don't look anything like pumpkins.
But we don't look anything like pumpkins.
But we should hang out. Let me just... I'll get your number.
But we should hang out. Let me just... I'll get your number.
But we'll definitely be there for the wedding on Saturday.
But we'll definitely be there for the wedding on Saturday.
But you should just know that I'm gonna be there right next to her every day,
But you should just know that I'm gonna be there right next to her every day,
But you're not.
But you're not.
But, yeah. That's why I hate planes.
But, yeah. That's why I hate planes.
But... there is really no reason
But... there is really no reason
By the way, tell your dad, it's like my favorite show ever.
By the way, tell your dad, it's like my favorite show ever.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Drive safe.
Bye. Drive safe.
Can I finger you?
Can I finger you?
Can I get you a dri?
Can I get you a dri?
Can I say something?
Can I say something?
Can we get a medic, please?
Can we get a medic, please?
Can we not tell everyone?
Can we not tell everyone?
Can you read it for me? Is that weird?
Can you read it for me? Is that weird?
Check it out.
Check it out.
Christmas. I ran into her at a party.
Christmas. I ran into her at a party.
Chuck!
Chuck!
Chuck! Chuck! Will you please fuck off? Please?
Chuck! Chuck! Will you please fuck off? Please?
Chuck! If I catch you taking pictures of your dick one more time,
Chuck! If I catch you taking pictures of your dick one more time,
Come on, hit me. Give me your best shot.
Come on, hit me. Give me your best shot.
Come on, it's soup. It's good for your uterus.
Come on, it's soup. It's good for your uterus.
Come on, it's... it's one date. Just do it.
Come on, it's... it's one date. Just do it.
Come on, quick, before I get a hernia!
Come on, quick, before I get a hernia!
Come on, the "Where are you?" text is like saying:
Come on, the "Where are you?" text is like saying:
Come running to me, because I'm a grownup, and I have a real job.
Come running to me, because I'm a grownup, and I have a real job.
Coming!
Coming!
Condom?
Condom?
Crap.
Crap.
Dad!
Dad!
Did I have sex with anyone in this apartment last night?
Did I have sex with anyone in this apartment last night?
Did I just say "What's up" to Stephen Metzner?
Did I just say "What's up" to Stephen Metzner?
Did I tell you like in a charming way?
Did I tell you like in a charming way?
Did I, by chance, leave my pants in your room?
Did I, by chance, leave my pants in your room?
Did we? Yes, we did. We went to college together.
Did we? Yes, we did. We went to college together.
Did you have a good time last night?
Did you have a good time last night?
Did you have sex with Emma?
Did you have sex with Emma?
Did you have sex with Emma?
Did you have sex with Emma?
Did you have sex with some girl and give her a balloon?
Did you have sex with some girl and give her a balloon?
Did you make me a period mix?
Did you make me a period mix?
Did you take your Pamprin?
Did you take your Pamprin?
Did you think we had sex? Oh, my God, we did not have sex.
Did you think we had sex? Oh, my God, we did not have sex.
Do what?
Do what?
Do you think that you have red velvet in there?
Do you think that you have red velvet in there?
Do you think you can get used to it?
Do you think you can get used to it?
Do you want to do this?
Do you want to do this?
Do you want to go to my room?
Do you want to go to my room?
Do you want to take it off yourself?
Do you want to take it off yourself?
Doctors.
Doctors.
Doesn't mean that you can't look at me as a kind of... mum?
Doesn't mean that you can't look at me as a kind of... mum?
Don't do that. Don't just disappear like that on me.
Don't do that. Don't just disappear like that on me.
Don't dress up your penis. Ever.
Don't dress up your penis. Ever.
Don't freak out, OK?
Don't freak out, OK?
Don't list me as your emergency contact. I won't come.
Don't list me as your emergency contact. I won't come.
Don't take this the wrong way, but you're a terrible person.
Don't take this the wrong way, but you're a terrible person.
Don't worry about it. I'll see you Saturday.
Don't worry about it. I'll see you Saturday.
Don't worry. You're in good hands.
Don't worry. You're in good hands.
Don't.
Don't.
Dr. Anseed, three two five one. Dr. Anseed...
Dr. Anseed, three two five one. Dr. Anseed...
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Eli!
Eli!
Emma, I have really good news.
Emma, I have really good news.
Emma, no.
Emma, no.
Emma, rounds. Hey, Adam.
Emma, rounds. Hey, Adam.
Emma, think about your career. Do not do this.
Emma, think about your career. Do not do this.
Emma, time to go!
Emma, time to go!
Emma, we have to be in the hospital in ten minutes.
Emma, we have to be in the hospital in ten minutes.
Emma!
Emma!
Emma.
Emma.
Emma.
Emma.
Even if it's dressed up like a Care Bear,
Even if it's dressed up like a Care Bear,
Even ugly women.
Even ugly women.
Excuse me! Can I have your autograph, please?
Excuse me! Can I have your autograph, please?
Excuse me! Excuse me! You can't do that here.
Excuse me! Excuse me! You can't do that here.
Feel that?
Feel that?
Fine, I won't.
Fine, I won't.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
For David, there was no bigger miracle than his family.
For David, there was no bigger miracle than his family.
For you to bring a child into this world,
For you to bring a child into this world,
Frank Sinatra.
Frank Sinatra.
From Camp Weehawken.
From Camp Weehawken.
Fuck this.
Fuck this.
Fuck, no.
Fuck, no.
Fuck, yeah.
Fuck, yeah.
Get some sleep, Dad.
Get some sleep, Dad.
Get that shit away from me.
Get that shit away from me.
Given the choice between Adam and anyone, really,
Given the choice between Adam and anyone, really,
Glad I wore a good bra.
Glad I wore a good bra.
Go away.
Go away.
Go big or go home. There'll be hearts,
Go big or go home. There'll be hearts,
Go hook up with someone else.
Go hook up with someone else.
Go to the nearest bar and have sex with a stranger.
Go to the nearest bar and have sex with a stranger.
God, I am single as fuck.
God, I am single as fuck.
Good luck with that.
Good luck with that.
Good. I was hoping we could do this a lot more.
Good. I was hoping we could do this a lot more.
Google Maps. Nice.
Google Maps. Nice.
Got a cocktail for the ladies.
Got a cocktail for the ladies.
Got it.
Got it.
Great Scott!
Great Scott!
Great Scott!
Great Scott!
Great Scott. That's funny stuff.
Great Scott. That's funny stuff.
Great. Well done. Well played.
Great. Well done. Well played.
Ground rules. Good idea.
Ground rules. Good idea.
Guys, you get a five minute warning.
Guys, you get a five minute warning.
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Happy birthday, Adam.
Happy birthday, Adam.
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
Happy ho lidays!
Happy ho lidays!
Happy ho lidays!
Happy ho lidays!
Have fun at the wedding, and tell your sister congratulations.
Have fun at the wedding, and tell your sister congratulations.
Have fun.
Have fun.
He doesn't want me to call him.
He doesn't want me to call him.
He has the best heart.
He has the best heart.
He sprained his wrist punching a wall.
He sprained his wrist punching a wall.
He was like, "No, you're doing that wrong." It was amazing.
He was like, "No, you're doing that wrong." It was amazing.
He'll call in the morning.
He'll call in the morning.
He's like, "Great Scott"? No?
He's like, "Great Scott"? No?
He's Mom's friend.
He's Mom's friend.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello. How can I help you?
Hello. How can I help you?
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here's my business card. I'm the owner. Me.
Here's my business card. I'm the owner. Me.
Hey, Adam!
Hey, Adam!
Hey, Adam.
Hey, Adam.
Hey, Adam. You left your socks in my room.
Hey, Adam. You left your socks in my room.
Hey, Dad.
Hey, Dad.
Hey, do you know that girl?
Hey, do you know that girl?
Hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Hey, I heard. You and your dad are tunnel buddies, huh?
Hey, I heard. You and your dad are tunnel buddies, huh?
Hey, I was wondering...
Hey, I was wondering...
Hey, one more thing.
Hey, one more thing.
Hey, someone call Charlie Brown!
Hey, someone call Charlie Brown!
Hey, wait! If you don't make it back for my wedding, I'll kill you.
Hey, wait! If you don't make it back for my wedding, I'll kill you.
Hey, would you ever? I...
Hey, would you ever? I...
Hey, you think when he's busting a nut,
Hey, you think when he's busting a nut,
Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Hey! That's cheating.
Hey! That's cheating.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey. Hey!
Hey. Hey!
Hey. Hey!
Hey. Hey!
Hey. How'd it go? Did you find him?
Hey. How'd it go? Did you find him?
Hey. I'm, like, actually one of those freaks who reads things,
Hey. I'm, like, actually one of those freaks who reads things,
Hey. So... I really feel like it needs to be more ghetto.
Hey. So... I really feel like it needs to be more ghetto.
Hey. Sorry. OK, so there's good news, bad news.
Hey. Sorry. OK, so there's good news, bad news.
Hey. Where is he? What happened?
Hey. Where is he? What happened?
Hi, it's so nice to see you again.
Hi, it's so nice to see you again.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi. I'm Emma Kurtzman.
Hi. I'm Emma Kurtzman.
Hi. You didn't call me back, so I thought I'd come here.
Hi. You didn't call me back, so I thought I'd come here.
How are you guys doing?
How are you guys doing?
How did... How did you know that?
How did... How did you know that?
How do they change these lightbulbs?
How do they change these lightbulbs?
How do you feel about the two of us having a baby together?
How do you feel about the two of us having a baby together?
How is your dad?
How is your dad?
How long do we have till we have to be there?
How long do we have till we have to be there?
How long have you two been together?
How long have you two been together?
How long?
How long?
How many?
How many?
How was your night?
How was your night?
How you gonna do that?
How you gonna do that?
I actually think that...
I actually think that...
I agree, it didn't work. Drop it.
I agree, it didn't work. Drop it.
I already texted him.
I already texted him.
I also hate war.
I also hate war.
I am following your instructions diligently.
I am following your instructions diligently.
I apologize.
I apologize.
I called her, but she didn't call me back. She sent me a text.
I called her, but she didn't call me back. She sent me a text.
I can actually take care of her, you know?
I can actually take care of her, you know?
I can almost see where your muscles go.
I can almost see where your muscles go.
I can take it.
I can take it.
I can't do this. Could you please take me back to work?
I can't do this. Could you please take me back to work?
I can't focus on my porn with all this real sex going on around me!
I can't focus on my porn with all this real sex going on around me!
I can't just call him.
I can't just call him.
I can't keep doing this.
I can't keep doing this.
I can't stop thinking about him.
I can't stop thinking about him.
I can't. I have to go to work.
I can't. I have to go to work.
I date guys who steal my credit card,
I date guys who steal my credit card,
I didn't know that my body could handle that much pain.
I didn't know that my body could handle that much pain.
I didn't know that... I'm sorry about everything.
I didn't know that... I'm sorry about everything.
I didn't take it from my parents.
I didn't take it from my parents.
I don't get my own milkshake?
I don't get my own milkshake?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know why I didn't get that. How did you know that?
I don't know why I didn't get that. How did you know that?
I don't know why I wasted so much time pretending I didn't care.
I don't know why I wasted so much time pretending I didn't care.
I don't know, man. I mean,
I don't know, man. I mean,
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I heard your show is tonight. Congratulations.
I don't know. I heard your show is tonight. Congratulations.
I don't know. I'll figure it out.
I don't know. I'll figure it out.
I don't know. They could be anywhere. Here's your coffee.
I don't know. They could be anywhere. Here's your coffee.
I don't know. What do I do with that? I don't know.
I don't know. What do I do with that? I don't know.
I don't need you to take care of me. I take care of myself.
I don't need you to take care of me. I take care of myself.
I don't want to go home.
I don't want to go home.
I don't want to have kids. I... I just... I want to have fun.
I don't want to have kids. I... I just... I want to have fun.
I gave him some hydrocodone for the night. It's a very strong painkiller.
I gave him some hydrocodone for the night. It's a very strong painkiller.
I got a hand job on the dance floor to "Who Let The Dogs Out."
I got a hand job on the dance floor to "Who Let The Dogs Out."
I got it!
I got it!
I got it! I got it.
I got it! I got it.
I got it. I got it.
I got it. I got it.
I got this. You just... calm down.
I got this. You just... calm down.
I got...
I got...
I gotta go. I'm still at work, so...
I gotta go. I'm still at work, so...
I guess I just didn't want to feel like this.
I guess I just didn't want to feel like this.
I hate breakfast. And lying.
I hate breakfast. And lying.
I have been seeing other people, Sam.
I have been seeing other people, Sam.
I have played before,
I have played before,
I have to go to this stupid thing tomorrow. You wanna come with me?
I have to go to this stupid thing tomorrow. You wanna come with me?
I have to say, this is probably the best birthday dinner ever.
I have to say, this is probably the best birthday dinner ever.
I have to...
I have to...
I haven't seen her in two weeks, so...
I haven't seen her in two weeks, so...
I hope it's OK that I got your address from the W 4.
I hope it's OK that I got your address from the W 4.
I just friended you. Do you think you're gonna confirm or ignore?
I just friended you. Do you think you're gonna confirm or ignore?
I just have sex with your son sometimes.
I just have sex with your son sometimes.
I just pulled a penis out of a VitaminWater yesterday.
I just pulled a penis out of a VitaminWater yesterday.
I keep bleedin'...
I keep bleedin'...
I know that you have issues with your dad, and that's cool,
I know that you have issues with your dad, and that's cool,
I know this is random. I just...
I know this is random. I just...
I know this might be hard, but just because I'm your ex girlfriend
I know this might be hard, but just because I'm your ex girlfriend
I know you were trying really hard out there, but it just didn't work.
I know you were trying really hard out there, but it just didn't work.
I know.
I know.
I know. I get that. I just...
I know. I get that. I just...
I know. I hurt you. I'm sorry.
I know. I hurt you. I'm sorry.
I like you.
I like you.
I like you.
I like you.
I lost him.
I lost him.
I love him.
I love him.
I love it when we're all on the same cycle.
I love it when we're all on the same cycle.
I may have to kill this dog. I just haven't decided how.
I may have to kill this dog. I just haven't decided how.
I may have.
I may have.
I mean, it's about high schoolers who sing and dance and blog.
I mean, it's about high schoolers who sing and dance and blog.
I mean, it's just teenagers singing about homework.
I mean, it's just teenagers singing about homework.
I mean, not since Vanessa.
I mean, not since Vanessa.
I mean, she wants you to hook up with other girls.
I mean, she wants you to hook up with other girls.
I might.
I might.
I miss you. I miss you so much.
I miss you. I miss you so much.
I promise. It's about to get better.
I promise. It's about to get better.
I really don't like the Little Wayne. Can't understand what he's saying.
I really don't like the Little Wayne. Can't understand what he's saying.
I really like you.
I really like you.
I should head out.
I should head out.
I should probably get ready now. I don't want to be late.
I should probably get ready now. I don't want to be late.
I think I know her.
I think I know her.
I think I'm gonna do it all the time. It's gonna get weird.
I think I'm gonna do it all the time. It's gonna get weird.
I think no.
I think no.
I thought I'd wait till he got here.
I thought I'd wait till he got here.
I thought... I don't know what I thought. I just...
I thought... I don't know what I thought. I just...
I told you not to come. It's not safe in here.
I told you not to come. It's not safe in here.
I understand what's going on. You're all on the same cycle.
I understand what's going on. You're all on the same cycle.
I want you to meet Adam.
I want you to meet Adam.
I want your face.
I want your face.
I wanted to get your opinion on this episode that I wrote.
I wanted to get your opinion on this episode that I wrote.
I wanted to leave you with something David said to me
I wanted to leave you with something David said to me
I wanted to make it special.
I wanted to make it special.
I was naked. And we were just out there in the desert,
I was naked. And we were just out there in the desert,
I wasn't supposed to tell you about it. Crap.
I wasn't supposed to tell you about it. Crap.
I what?
I what?
I work 80 hours a week, doing 36 hour shifts.
I work 80 hours a week, doing 36 hour shifts.
I wrote an episode.
I wrote an episode.
I...
I...
I... I guess I wanted to hear your voice.
I... I guess I wanted to hear your voice.
I'd become a weird, scary version of myself, and...
I'd become a weird, scary version of myself, and...
I'd choose Adam, every time.
I'd choose Adam, every time.
I'd have sex with a pioneer. For sure.
I'd have sex with a pioneer. For sure.
I'd like to start calling you "honey" and "babe."
I'd like to start calling you "honey" and "babe."
I'll be back in like... an hour.
I'll be back in like... an hour.
I'll be right back.
I'll be right back.
I'll call you in the morning.
I'll call you in the morning.
I'll get my stuff.
I'll get my stuff.
I'll go have sex with someone, too.
I'll go have sex with someone, too.
I'll just be over here if you need me.
I'll just be over here if you need me.
I'll pay for everything, and you can reward me
I'll pay for everything, and you can reward me
I'll pick you up, and we can talk about our favorite books
I'll pick you up, and we can talk about our favorite books
I'll take a cab.
I'll take a cab.
I'll take a look at it, sure. And then I'll call somebody.
I'll take a look at it, sure. And then I'll call somebody.
I'll tell him you said that.
I'll tell him you said that.
I'll, like, find my way home. Go. Yeah.
I'll, like, find my way home. Go. Yeah.
I'm 58 years old. I've been married three times.
I'm 58 years old. I've been married three times.
I'm a doctor.
I'm a doctor.
I'm a mess.
I'm a mess.
I'm doing my residency at the Westwood Teaching Hospital.
I'm doing my residency at the Westwood Teaching Hospital.
I'm Emma Kurtzman. You tried to finger me?
I'm Emma Kurtzman. You tried to finger me?
I'm fine, I just... You know, I just...
I'm fine, I just... You know, I just...
I'm getting married!
I'm getting married!
I'm glad to see you.
I'm glad to see you.
I'm glad you stayed.
I'm glad you stayed.
I'm going to distribute these for an hour or so.
I'm going to distribute these for an hour or so.
I'm gonna call every girl in my phone
I'm gonna call every girl in my phone
I'm gonna do a video, I think. Vinyasa Power.
I'm gonna do a video, I think. Vinyasa Power.
I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna take that thing away.
I'm gonna take that thing away.
I'm here.
I'm here.
I'm incredibly easy to get!
I'm incredibly easy to get!
I'm just getting some yogurt.
I'm just getting some yogurt.
I'm just studying for the doctor test.
I'm just studying for the doctor test.
I'm mean. But you're fucking crazy.
I'm mean. But you're fucking crazy.
I'm not gonna see you again.
I'm not gonna see you again.
I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna... Victoria! Hey!
I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna... Victoria! Hey!
I'm not letting you go.
I'm not letting you go.
I'm not saying Alvin and I did mushrooms together,
I'm not saying Alvin and I did mushrooms together,
I'm so drunk!
I'm so drunk!
I'm so glad you guys could join us for dinner.
I'm so glad you guys could join us for dinner.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm the bride. You have to do what I say.
I'm the bride. You have to do what I say.
I'm the guy she marries, Adam.
I'm the guy she marries, Adam.
I'm too stoned. Don't argue with me.
I'm too stoned. Don't argue with me.
I've been ho, ho, hoping that I'd get the chance to talk to you.
I've been ho, ho, hoping that I'd get the chance to talk to you.
I've got cupcakes.
I've got cupcakes.
I've got six pictures of my cock on my phone,
I've got six pictures of my cock on my phone,
I've got the ice chips, honey. Here you go.
I've got the ice chips, honey. Here you go.
I've had a really tough day, so, I just won't...
I've had a really tough day, so, I just won't...
If we were in a relationship,
If we were in a relationship,
If you're lucky, you're never gonna see me again.
If you're lucky, you're never gonna see me again.
In front of the restaurant that I'm eating at.
In front of the restaurant that I'm eating at.
Is everything OK? Are you?
Is everything OK? Are you?
Is that you don't have to feel guilty afterwards.
Is that you don't have to feel guilty afterwards.
Is that you?
Is that you?
Isn't that against your Hippocratic oath?
Isn't that against your Hippocratic oath?
Isn't that something?
Isn't that something?
It has been a pleasure.
It has been a pleasure.
It hurts.
It hurts.
It looked so soft!
It looked so soft!
It looks like it's coming right at me.
It looks like it's coming right at me.
It really hurt.
It really hurt.
It reminded me of my senior prom.
It reminded me of my senior prom.
It was a really nice funeral.
It was a really nice funeral.
It was all right. Nothing special.
It was all right. Nothing special.
It was like you were cheering while you were doing it.
It was like you were cheering while you were doing it.
It was nice. You have a really nice penis.
It was nice. You have a really nice penis.
It's a classic.
It's a classic.
It's a mix.
It's a mix.
It's been a year. It's time to move on.
It's been a year. It's time to move on.
It's been an honor.
It's been an honor.
It's been eight months, Dad.
It's been eight months, Dad.
It's Einstein.
It's Einstein.
It's Emma. Kurtzman.
It's Emma. Kurtzman.
It's fake.
It's fake.
It's for you.
It's for you.
It's gonna be fun.
It's gonna be fun.
It's gonna be OK.
It's gonna be OK.
It's hard, you know? Sometimes I laugh.
It's hard, you know? Sometimes I laugh.
It's just no one is as...
It's just no one is as...
It's just, you've been kind of depressing to be around lately,
It's just, you've been kind of depressing to be around lately,
It's like a crime scene in my pants.
It's like a crime scene in my pants.
It's like a peanut allergy, like... an emotional peanut allergy.
It's like a peanut allergy, like... an emotional peanut allergy.
It's my day!
It's my day!
It's nice to see they're supporting your career.
It's nice to see they're supporting your career.
It's not crazy. I mean, thank you for reading it.
It's not crazy. I mean, thank you for reading it.
It's not really possible. I have no time.
It's not really possible. I have no time.
It's obvious. I completely love you. There.
It's obvious. I completely love you. There.
It's OK.
It's OK.
It's perfect.
It's perfect.
It's Seven Up, cough syrup and a Jolly Rancher.
It's Seven Up, cough syrup and a Jolly Rancher.
It's Shira, and you look like you could use some coffee.
It's Shira, and you look like you could use some coffee.
It's your birthday
It's your birthday
Jesus. I don't know where to start. My dad's...
Jesus. I don't know where to start. My dad's...
Just friends who have sex.
Just friends who have sex.
Just take Freckles.
Just take Freckles.
Just take it, or I'm gonna keep singing.
Just take it, or I'm gonna keep singing.
Just thought you should know.
Just thought you should know.
Just to hang out.
Just to hang out.
Katie, is everything OK? I got your message.
Katie, is everything OK? I got your message.
Katie?
Katie?
Keep bleedin' I keep, keep bleedin'
Keep bleedin' I keep, keep bleedin'
Keep bleedin', I keep, keep bleedin' love
Keep bleedin', I keep, keep bleedin' love
Keep, keep bleedin' love
Keep, keep bleedin' love
Keep, keep bleedin' love
Keep, keep bleedin' love
Kind of a sample.
Kind of a sample.
Knowing that... my own son had sex with my girlfriend?
Knowing that... my own son had sex with my girlfriend?
Ladies first.
Ladies first.
Let's just go see him, OK?
Let's just go see him, OK?
Let's make fun of the hung over naked guy.
Let's make fun of the hung over naked guy.
Let's take a look and see what we have here.
Let's take a look and see what we have here.
Like a real date.
Like a real date.
Like a sexual woman?
Like a sexual woman?
Like ten bucks.
Like ten bucks.
Like, "Boo! Here comes my dick."
Like, "Boo! Here comes my dick."
Like, if you really miss me, you need to grow up
Like, if you really miss me, you need to grow up
Lisa...
Lisa...
Listen, don't fuck one of those girls.
Listen, don't fuck one of those girls.
Listen, I want you to know that...
Listen, I want you to know that...
Listen, let me take you to a nice birthday dinner tonight.
Listen, let me take you to a nice birthday dinner tonight.
Listen, we should keep this simple.
Listen, we should keep this simple.
Listen. Hey, nobody knows about this,
Listen. Hey, nobody knows about this,
Look at my face.
Look at my face.
Look at my face. What does my face say?
Look at my face. What does my face say?
Look, even if I did like him, it doesn't change what we're doing.
Look, even if I did like him, it doesn't change what we're doing.
Look, I know I'm supposed to want to be in a relationship.
Look, I know I'm supposed to want to be in a relationship.
Look, Katie.
Look, Katie.
Look... I'm not really an affectionate person.
Look... I'm not really an affectionate person.
Love it, own it, lost it, bought it again. It's so great.
Love it, own it, lost it, bought it again. It's so great.
Lucy.
Lucy.
Mainly 'cause you're just... so beautiful.
Mainly 'cause you're just... so beautiful.
Mama needs to get a cab home, so...
Mama needs to get a cab home, so...
Maybe we don't need to talk about everything.
Maybe we don't need to talk about everything.
Maybe we should... Maybe we should stop for a while.
Maybe we should... Maybe we should stop for a while.
Me too.
Me too.
Me too.
Me too.
Megan listens to me. Sometimes.
Megan listens to me. Sometimes.
Merry Christmas. Happy holidays.
Merry Christmas. Happy holidays.
MIT? Wow. So you grew up to be a lot smarter than me.
MIT? Wow. So you grew up to be a lot smarter than me.
Mom is so excited.
Mom is so excited.
Mom?
Mom?
Must be a nightmare.
Must be a nightmare.
My agent got me one of those medical marijuana cards.
My agent got me one of those medical marijuana cards.
My dad invited me to dinner,
My dad invited me to dinner,
My dad's dating my ex girlfriend.
My dad's dating my ex girlfriend.
My friend, she's having a party. I'm already so late.
My friend, she's having a party. I'm already so late.
My mistake. Feel better.
My mistake. Feel better.
My parents are getting a divorce, that's why I had to go to camp, so...
My parents are getting a divorce, that's why I had to go to camp, so...
My throat starts constricting, the walls start throbbing.
My throat starts constricting, the walls start throbbing.
Nice meeting you.
Nice meeting you.
Nice memorization. Did you Google that?
Nice memorization. Did you Google that?
No jealousy, no staring deeply into each other's eyes.
No jealousy, no staring deeply into each other's eyes.
No one's ever done that for me before. Do it again.
No one's ever done that for me before. Do it again.
No problem at all. Just get a little closer, ladies.
No problem at all. Just get a little closer, ladies.
No, Adam, I don't. I think he wants to fuck her in his Prius.
No, Adam, I don't. I think he wants to fuck her in his Prius.
No, Adam, it's after 10pm.
No, Adam, it's after 10pm.
No, but that was you, and it felt poignant
No, but that was you, and it felt poignant
No, I'm sorry. I'm the one who's come to your house uninvited.
No, I'm sorry. I'm the one who's come to your house uninvited.
No, it's fine.
No, it's fine.
No, it's fine. I'll come to you.
No, it's fine. I'll come to you.
No, it's just... we could just snuggle or something.
No, it's just... we could just snuggle or something.
No, it's one milkshake, two straws. That's what makes it special.
No, it's one milkshake, two straws. That's what makes it special.
No, no, it was... it was exciting.
No, no, it was... it was exciting.
No, no, no. I can't. I can't. Adam, I can't. I've gotta go.
No, no, no. I can't. I can't. Adam, I can't. I've gotta go.
No, no, no. I e mailed it to Megan, and...
No, no, no. I e mailed it to Megan, and...
No, no. I know you can dance alone, and I know that you'll be fine.
No, no. I know you can dance alone, and I know that you'll be fine.
No, that would be bad.
No, that would be bad.
No, then you did this thing. It was...
No, then you did this thing. It was...
No, we don't need her. Make her leave.
No, we don't need her. Make her leave.
No, we're not stopping.
No, we're not stopping.
No, you didn't.
No, you didn't.
No! Yes!
No! Yes!
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No. Do not call anyone. Just read it and tell me what you think.
No. Do not call anyone. Just read it and tell me what you think.
No. I'm an assistant.
No. I'm an assistant.
No. No, I'm... I'm not his girlfriend.
No. No, I'm... I'm not his girlfriend.
No. No, that's not the deal.
No. No, that's not the deal.
No. Things were getting too intense, so we decided not to see each other
No. Things were getting too intense, so we decided not to see each other
No. Tonight is about me, Emma. All right? I'm feeling hot.
No. Tonight is about me, Emma. All right? I'm feeling hot.
No. When we met, you weren't wearing pants.
No. When we met, you weren't wearing pants.
No. You know, I get it, right? That you're sleeping with Emma?
No. You know, I get it, right? That you're sleeping with Emma?
No. You leave.
No. You leave.
Normally, I would remember the name of someone that I've...
Normally, I would remember the name of someone that I've...
Not long. I...
Not long. I...
Not yet.
Not yet.
Nothing else.
Nothing else.
Now I know why you never wanted to have breakfast with me.
Now I know why you never wanted to have breakfast with me.
Oh, Adam.
Oh, Adam.
Oh, beautiful! Beautiful!
Oh, beautiful! Beautiful!
Oh, but she can.
Oh, but she can.
Oh, by the way, I enjoyed your dad's TV show.
Oh, by the way, I enjoyed your dad's TV show.
Oh, by the way...
Oh, by the way...
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, God, I just love Kevin.
Oh, God, I just love Kevin.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, good.
Oh, good.
Oh, I hate you, you dumb fuck! Get the fuck out...
Oh, I hate you, you dumb fuck! Get the fuck out...
Oh, I'm gonna confirm. For sure.
Oh, I'm gonna confirm. For sure.
Oh, I'm not.
Oh, I'm not.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, my God, I'm so hungry.
Oh, my God, I'm so hungry.
Oh, my God, Joy. I love you so much.
Oh, my God, Joy. I love you so much.
Oh, my God! I told you that this was a pajama party.
Oh, my God! I told you that this was a pajama party.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. OK. Do you want me to go with you?
Oh, my God. OK. Do you want me to go with you?
Oh, my God. She's getting on the buffet table? That makes...
Oh, my God. She's getting on the buffet table? That makes...
Oh, my God. This is happening. Is this really happening?
Oh, my God. This is happening. Is this really happening?
Oh, my God. You're touching me. This is so happening.
Oh, my God. You're touching me. This is so happening.
Oh, really? Well, then we just do this
Oh, really? Well, then we just do this
Oh, she wants the dick.
Oh, she wants the dick.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
Oh, shut up, Emma.
Oh, shut up, Emma.
Oh, sorry. I saw that he listed you as an emergency contact.
Oh, sorry. I saw that he listed you as an emergency contact.
Oh, that really hurt. Damn.
Oh, that really hurt. Damn.
Oh, this? I just threw it together.
Oh, this? I just threw it together.
Oh, we're not.
Oh, we're not.
Oh, well... thank you. I didn't know you were dating someone, Emma.
Oh, well... thank you. I didn't know you were dating someone, Emma.
Oh, wow. This is cool. This is a cool space.
Oh, wow. This is cool. This is a cool space.
Oh, yeah. You're such a wimp.
Oh, yeah. You're such a wimp.
Oh, you got your...
Oh, you got your...
Oh, you know what? I need a napkin. Can I just borrow this one?
Oh, you know what? I need a napkin. Can I just borrow this one?
Oh. I also...
Oh. I also...
Oh. I row.
Oh. I row.
Oh. OK, great. OK. Cool.
Oh. OK, great. OK. Cool.
Oh. That's crazy. I was like, "What's he gonna say?"
Oh. That's crazy. I was like, "What's he gonna say?"
Ohio? No, you can't.
Ohio? No, you can't.
OK, 'cause, like, we can just talk about it, if you want...
OK, 'cause, like, we can just talk about it, if you want...
OK, get in your car and drive away.
OK, get in your car and drive away.
OK, guys, we're gonna do this again. All right? Five minutes.
OK, guys, we're gonna do this again. All right? Five minutes.
OK, it happened yesterday after the picnic,
OK, it happened yesterday after the picnic,
OK, let's...
OK, let's...
OK, well, we can start with no fighting.
OK, well, we can start with no fighting.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK. Don't expect too much.
OK. Don't expect too much.
OK. I got this.
OK. I got this.
OK. I'm sorry.
OK. I'm sorry.
OK. OK, this is getting a little too realistic.
OK. OK, this is getting a little too realistic.
OK. The box of 50 doughnut holes is $5.79.
OK. The box of 50 doughnut holes is $5.79.
OK. Well, we should head out, so...
OK. Well, we should head out, so...
OK. Yes. Good. We are getting laid tonight, right?
OK. Yes. Good. We are getting laid tonight, right?
One date.
One date.
One, as if nothing is a miracle.
One, as if nothing is a miracle.
Ornery thing.
Ornery thing.
Ow! Don't! Don't!
Ow! Don't! Don't!
Patrice!
Patrice!
People aren't meant to be together forever.
People aren't meant to be together forever.
Perfect, Dad. Thank you for asking.
Perfect, Dad. Thank you for asking.
Pick up some of that kettle corn.
Pick up some of that kettle corn.
Put it out! I'm not gonna chase you.
Put it out! I'm not gonna chase you.
Really? You know, I was thinking...
Really? You know, I was thinking...
Right here?
Right here?
Ring, ring! It's the pumpkin patch! They want their pumpkins back!
Ring, ring! It's the pumpkin patch! They want their pumpkins back!
Ring, ring! It's the pumpkin patch! They want their pumpkins back!
Ring, ring! It's the pumpkin patch! They want their pumpkins back!
Sad.
Sad.
Sari. I told you to play hard to get.
Sari. I told you to play hard to get.
Screw the customers.
Screw the customers.
Seriously, she was, like, trying to take her shirt off.
Seriously, she was, like, trying to take her shirt off.
Seriously.
Seriously.
Sex friends... I'm old. I don't know what you call it.
Sex friends... I'm old. I don't know what you call it.
She drives me crazy.
She drives me crazy.
She has a boyfriend? Named Bones?
She has a boyfriend? Named Bones?
She is not my girlfriend.
She is not my girlfriend.
She is so good at impressions.
She is so good at impressions.
She needed a place to stay because, you know, her landlord is such a D bag.
She needed a place to stay because, you know, her landlord is such a D bag.
She said I should hook up with other people.
She said I should hook up with other people.
She was like screaming and crying last night.
She was like screaming and crying last night.
She's just using me for my car.
She's just using me for my car.
She's quick. Like a puma.
She's quick. Like a puma.
She's tired, she calls you up, you drive over,
She's tired, she calls you up, you drive over,
Shira texted me about your dad, so I came here.
Shira texted me about your dad, so I came here.
Shira, chocolate. Now.
Shira, chocolate. Now.
Shira, I feel like there are parts of me that I haven't explored yet.
Shira, I feel like there are parts of me that I haven't explored yet.
Since you're acting like children already.
Since you're acting like children already.
So come by the bar. Great place.
So come by the bar. Great place.
So if you wanted to give it to me, that's cool.
So if you wanted to give it to me, that's cool.
So unprofessional. But I read your script.
So unprofessional. But I read your script.
So we see literally hundreds of penises a week.
So we see literally hundreds of penises a week.
So what happens now?
So what happens now?
So you can take this with a grain of salt, but...
So you can take this with a grain of salt, but...
So, how did I get here?
So, how did I get here?
So, I'm really excited to talk to you.
So, I'm really excited to talk to you.
So, my sister is getting married in Santa Barbara tomorrow, and...
So, my sister is getting married in Santa Barbara tomorrow, and...
So, then when I was, like, 11, I was in therapy
So, then when I was, like, 11, I was in therapy
So, to Burning Man?
So, to Burning Man?
So, we won't be there for the rehearsal dinner,
So, we won't be there for the rehearsal dinner,
So, we're not gonna tell anyone about this, OK?
So, we're not gonna tell anyone about this, OK?
So, what'd you write back?
So, what'd you write back?
So, when I have to tell someone that someone they loved died,
So, when I have to tell someone that someone they loved died,
So, you've told him about us.
So, you've told him about us.
So?
So?
So...
So...
So...
So...
So... I'm pretty good at archery.
So... I'm pretty good at archery.
Something like, "Where am I? Why don't you check your underpants."
Something like, "Where am I? Why don't you check your underpants."
Sorry, gotta go. So sorry.
Sorry, gotta go. So sorry.
Sorry. Just... quick. Thank you. Beautiful.
Sorry. Just... quick. Thank you. Beautiful.
Stop teasing him, you guys.
Stop teasing him, you guys.
Sure you do. And that's fine, for now.
Sure you do. And that's fine, for now.
Sure, I just, I don't know, I had an idea, I just went with it.
Sure, I just, I don't know, I had an idea, I just went with it.
Surprise!
Surprise!
Take me to Adam's house.
Take me to Adam's house.
Taxi! Taxi!
Taxi! Taxi!
Tea for your 'gina.
Tea for your 'gina.
Thank you for this. This...
Thank you for this. This...
Thank you for what you did back at the restaurant.
Thank you for what you did back at the restaurant.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. We'll be friends, right?
Thank you. We'll be friends, right?
Thank you. Yeah, that's... that's funny.
Thank you. Yeah, that's... that's funny.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks. My sister's getting married.
Thanks. My sister's getting married.
That comes later, baby.
That comes later, baby.
That hole is my bitch!
That hole is my bitch!
That is a chair.
That is a chair.
That is a terrible, self destructive plan,
That is a terrible, self destructive plan,
That makes sense.
That makes sense.
That was kind of an amazing Drew Barrymore.
That was kind of an amazing Drew Barrymore.
That was really hard to watch.
That was really hard to watch.
That you and Emma have sex sometimes. I get it.
That you and Emma have sex sometimes. I get it.
That, of course, the song was "It Was You."
That, of course, the song was "It Was You."
That'll be useful if you ever have a time machine
That'll be useful if you ever have a time machine
That's it. That's all I have.
That's it. That's all I have.
That's like trading an iPod for a 8 track.
That's like trading an iPod for a 8 track.
That's my boy.
That's my boy.
That's my Christopher Walken.
That's my Christopher Walken.
That's not good.
That's not good.
That's not possible.
That's not possible.
That's so romantic.
That's so romantic.
That's true.
That's true.
That's weird. You just pulled up
That's weird. You just pulled up
That's what hit. Do you think they could remix the song?
That's what hit. Do you think they could remix the song?
That's what people do, Emma.
That's what people do, Emma.
That's your script.
That's your script.
That's...
That's...
That's... That's not true. It's all you.
That's... That's not true. It's all you.
The bad news is, Megan is remarkably drunk.
The bad news is, Megan is remarkably drunk.
The bridesmaids had pot.
The bridesmaids had pot.
The other, as if everything is a miracle."
The other, as if everything is a miracle."
The sexy pioneer?
The sexy pioneer?
The world can take it.
The world can take it.
Then, when she's done having her fun with you, she's gonna
Then, when she's done having her fun with you, she's gonna
There were so many interesting things going on.
There were so many interesting things going on.
There's one that brings a tear to a daddy's eye
There's one that brings a tear to a daddy's eye
These are really powerful painkillers. I can't feel anything.
These are really powerful painkillers. I can't feel anything.
They buy each other flowers, and they go to museums...
They buy each other flowers, and they go to museums...
They helped me move my boxes sophomore year.
They helped me move my boxes sophomore year.
They're never gonna eat out my ex girlfriends.
They're never gonna eat out my ex girlfriends.
They're not... they're not nice. They're not nice girls.
They're not... they're not nice. They're not nice girls.
They're the best. I love them. I'm super straight, though.
They're the best. I love them. I'm super straight, though.
Think that's gonna last?
Think that's gonna last?
This is a frat party.
This is a frat party.
This is a gift right now.
This is a gift right now.
This is gonna be like Sideways, except that you're Paul Giamatti,
This is gonna be like Sideways, except that you're Paul Giamatti,
This is my fault. I should not have made you soup.
This is my fault. I should not have made you soup.
This is our friend, Patrice.
This is our friend, Patrice.
This is really good stuff.
This is really good stuff.
This is very exciting.
This is very exciting.
This isn't really my place. I mean, who am I?
This isn't really my place. I mean, who am I?
To be your pappy
To be your pappy
To help soothe your womb.
To help soothe your womb.
To you
To you
To you!
To you!
Today and I'll tell you why
Today and I'll tell you why
Totally. Totally.
Totally. Totally.
Try to use it as little as possible.
Try to use it as little as possible.
Two that I can think of off the top of my head, but...
Two that I can think of off the top of my head, but...
Until one of us feels something more, and then we stop.
Until one of us feels something more, and then we stop.
Until someone agrees to have sex with me.
Until someone agrees to have sex with me.
Use each other for sex, at all hours of the day and night.
Use each other for sex, at all hours of the day and night.
Using big words...
Using big words...
Usually I spend Valentine's Day catching up on work and stuff,
Usually I spend Valentine's Day catching up on work and stuff,
Vanessa?
Vanessa?
Very nice.
Very nice.
Very pretty here.
Very pretty here.
Victoria! Seriously? Like, I can see you smoking right there.
Victoria! Seriously? Like, I can see you smoking right there.
Vinyasa yoga and the Army Ranger workout.
Vinyasa yoga and the Army Ranger workout.
Wait. Are you sure that you want to do this, though?
Wait. Are you sure that you want to do this, though?
Wait. Can we talk about something else? Like, literally, anything else?
Wait. Can we talk about something else? Like, literally, anything else?
Wait. I'll just...
Wait. I'll just...
Wait. Should I take my shirt off, or do you want to...
Wait. Should I take my shirt off, or do you want to...
Wait. Why didn't you tell me sooner?
Wait. Why didn't you tell me sooner?
Wallace, could you take a picture of this?
Wallace, could you take a picture of this?
Was I like charming and funny when I told you?
Was I like charming and funny when I told you?
Watch and learn.
Watch and learn.
Watch out, though. She could be anywhere.
Watch out, though. She could be anywhere.
We all get to be passive aggressive and fight.
We all get to be passive aggressive and fight.
We can... I can do better than that.
We can... I can do better than that.
We fell asleep. We were spooning.
We fell asleep. We were spooning.
We got to talking. About you, mostly.
We got to talking. About you, mostly.
We have dinner later. Didn't you read the itinerary?
We have dinner later. Didn't you read the itinerary?
We have like 15 minutes to get food, so...
We have like 15 minutes to get food, so...
We probably shouldn't snuggle.
We probably shouldn't snuggle.
We really have to be somewhere now, so...
We really have to be somewhere now, so...
We stand next to each other, it looks like he's kidnapping me.
We stand next to each other, it looks like he's kidnapping me.
We're counting on you here, man. Man up, man!
We're counting on you here, man. Man up, man!
We're gonna have to come up with some new rules.
We're gonna have to come up with some new rules.
We're professionals.
We're professionals.
We're sluts, Emma! We're dirty, dirty, sluts!
We're sluts, Emma! We're dirty, dirty, sluts!
Well, but... at least they've seen your writing.
Well, but... at least they've seen your writing.
Well, Emma...
Well, Emma...
Well, I can't date you, either. 'Cause you're not my dad's type, so...
Well, I can't date you, either. 'Cause you're not my dad's type, so...
Well, I didn't think you'd actually do it. It's a terrible idea.
Well, I didn't think you'd actually do it. It's a terrible idea.
Well, this hole's a little bit more complicated.
Well, this hole's a little bit more complicated.
Well, we're kind of in a rush, so it was good seeing you.
Well, we're kind of in a rush, so it was good seeing you.
Well, what are you doing tonight?
Well, what are you doing tonight?
Well, yeah, but...
Well, yeah, but...
Well...
Well...
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?!
What are you doing?!
What are you gonna do? You're never gonna feel anything?
What are you gonna do? You're never gonna feel anything?
What are you wearing? What is this?
What are you wearing? What is this?
What are? What are you?
What are? What are you?
What did you want to talk to me about, anyway?
What did you want to talk to me about, anyway?
What happened last night?
What happened last night?
What hospital?
What hospital?
What I need is someone who's gonna be in my bed at 2am,
What I need is someone who's gonna be in my bed at 2am,
What is this, the Peach Pit?
What is this, the Peach Pit?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What were you, a cocksman? What do they say?
What were you, a cocksman? What do they say?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What? Did you tell him?
What? Did you tell him?
What? Emma?
What? Emma?
What? Oh, my God.
What? Oh, my God.
What? Oh, my God. You're sorry? Are you crazy?
What? Oh, my God. You're sorry? Are you crazy?
What? Well, how old are you?
What? Well, how old are you?
What's going on?
What's going on?
What's up, Dr. Metzner?
What's up, Dr. Metzner?
What's wrong with what we're doing? It's working. We don't have to fight...
What's wrong with what we're doing? It's working. We don't have to fight...
When we lost your father, I couldn't stand to see you in pain,
When we lost your father, I couldn't stand to see you in pain,
When you're married and you do blow...
When you're married and you do blow...
When your friend stopped by from work.
When your friend stopped by from work.
Where are my pants?
Where are my pants?
Which is like ten times worse.
Which is like ten times worse.
Who do you think you are, the old guy from Up?
Who do you think you are, the old guy from Up?
Who I don't have to lie to or eat breakfast with.
Who I don't have to lie to or eat breakfast with.
Who is that?
Who is that?
Who? Adam?
Who? Adam?
Why are you making him listen to Lil Wayne?
Why are you making him listen to Lil Wayne?
Why are you messing everything up?
Why are you messing everything up?
Why are you not trying to fuck that girl?
Why are you not trying to fuck that girl?
Why didn't she tell me?
Why didn't she tell me?
Why don't you go find some other girl who's not gonna hurt you?
Why don't you go find some other girl who's not gonna hurt you?
Why would he do that, Vanessa?
Why would he do that, Vanessa?
Why?
Why?
Why? Is this about me not having a date?
Why? Is this about me not having a date?
Will you just take Freckles?
Will you just take Freckles?
With an over the jeans cock rub.
With an over the jeans cock rub.
With nothing else? Just "H i"?
With nothing else? Just "H i"?
Wow.
Wow.
Wow. Prius. Nice.
Wow. Prius. Nice.
Yeah, Adam, come on, you're living every man's dreams.
Yeah, Adam, come on, you're living every man's dreams.
Yeah, and honestly, like, I didn't think that you could write,
Yeah, and honestly, like, I didn't think that you could write,
Yeah, Eli. I'm with... Adam!
Yeah, Eli. I'm with... Adam!
Yeah, friends.
Yeah, friends.
Yeah, he read it, and he gave you notes, and...
Yeah, he read it, and he gave you notes, and...
Yeah, hi. What are you doing? Where are you?
Yeah, hi. What are you doing? Where are you?
Yeah, I can come to Ohio.
Yeah, I can come to Ohio.
Yeah, I got it.
Yeah, I got it.
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, I told her she'd be crazy to not like it.
Yeah, I told her she'd be crazy to not like it.
Yeah, I'm pretty good at this.
Yeah, I'm pretty good at this.
Yeah, I'm the man with the two gay dads.
Yeah, I'm the man with the two gay dads.
Yeah, it's... You don't want to be late.
Yeah, it's... You don't want to be late.
Yeah, just give me your phone. I'll put it in there.
Yeah, just give me your phone. I'll put it in there.
Yeah, just... That'll be easier, switch...
Yeah, just... That'll be easier, switch...
Yeah, look at you. Of course.
Yeah, look at you. Of course.
Yeah, right. Everyone loves you and your dad's like famous, or something.
Yeah, right. Everyone loves you and your dad's like famous, or something.
Yeah, she's crazy hot, Adam. She's like a sexy scientist.
Yeah, she's crazy hot, Adam. She's like a sexy scientist.
Yeah, sometimes my neck gets sore.
Yeah, sometimes my neck gets sore.
Yeah, sure. I'll come with you.
Yeah, sure. I'll come with you.
Yeah, talking. Communicating. Relationship stuff.
Yeah, talking. Communicating. Relationship stuff.
Yeah, that's probably easier.
Yeah, that's probably easier.
Yeah, Wallace, I got a camera right here, if you just wanna...
Yeah, Wallace, I got a camera right here, if you just wanna...
Yeah, Wallace, I got a camera right here, if you just wanna...
Yeah, Wallace, I got a camera right here, if you just wanna...
Yeah, we got a lot to do. We got to make up for lost time.
Yeah, we got a lot to do. We got to make up for lost time.
Yeah, we should, too. You know...
Yeah, we should, too. You know...
Yeah, we were just having a romantic night
Yeah, we were just having a romantic night
Yeah, well, I don't know.
Yeah, well, I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, but no, I read it and I was like,
Yeah, yeah, but no, I read it and I was like,
Yeah? Where's the cake?
Yeah? Where's the cake?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. He was with... with a girl. It was his girlfriend.
Yeah. He was with... with a girl. It was his girlfriend.
Yeah. I felt that.
Yeah. I felt that.
Yeah. I haven't seen you guys since...
Yeah. I haven't seen you guys since...
Yeah. I know it's over, and I'm looking.
Yeah. I know it's over, and I'm looking.
Yeah. I really liked it.
Yeah. I really liked it.
Yeah. I'll just set these over here and...
Yeah. I'll just set these over here and...
Yeah. I'm weird.
Yeah. I'm weird.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Pecking at it with my... fire beak.
Yeah. Pecking at it with my... fire beak.
Yeah. That just felt wrong.
Yeah. That just felt wrong.
Yeah. We should...
Yeah. We should...
Yeah. Well, you left her, so...
Yeah. Well, you left her, so...
Yeah. Wow! Do you go here? Why?
Yeah. Wow! Do you go here? Why?
Yeah. You did a good job, so... I thought you deserved a balloon.
Yeah. You did a good job, so... I thought you deserved a balloon.
Yeah. You were...
Yeah. You were...
Yep, I'm definitely gay.
Yep, I'm definitely gay.
Yes, I do. Perfect.
Yes, I do. Perfect.
Yes, I'm ready.
Yes, I'm ready.
Yes!
Yes!
Yes! Yes!
Yes! Yes!
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. Coffee's good.
Yes. Coffee's good.
Yes. I'm having sex.
Yes. I'm having sex.
Yes. Thank you.
Yes. Thank you.
Yes. Yeah.
Yes. Yeah.
You always find something wrong with everybody who likes you.
You always find something wrong with everybody who likes you.
You are not even a woman.
You are not even a woman.
You are such an overachiever.
You are such an overachiever.
You bringing Adam to the Christmas party tonight?
You bringing Adam to the Christmas party tonight?
You can have the rest.
You can have the rest.
You can just get it.
You can just get it.
You can't fight me, you're miniature. You're like a girl Rick Moranis.
You can't fight me, you're miniature. You're like a girl Rick Moranis.
You didn't tell him yet?
You didn't tell him yet?
You do?
You do?
You don't even have to have breakfast with her.
You don't even have to have breakfast with her.
You don't have to feel embarrassed, because we're all doctors,
You don't have to feel embarrassed, because we're all doctors,
You don't know everything about your dad.
You don't know everything about your dad.
You don't remember my name, do you?
You don't remember my name, do you?
You feeling any better?
You feeling any better?
You fight like a hamster.
You fight like a hamster.
You find these perfect guys,
You find these perfect guys,
You got a good heart, Adam. Try to keep it.
You got a good heart, Adam. Try to keep it.
You got...
You got...
You have 45 seconds to pull your shit together, OK?
You have 45 seconds to pull your shit together, OK?
You have a pretty big mouth. Oh, easy.
You have a pretty big mouth. Oh, easy.
You have no idea, the stories that I could tell you.
You have no idea, the stories that I could tell you.
You have two gay dads.
You have two gay dads.
You just gotta walk away, pal. It's over.
You just gotta walk away, pal. It's over.
You just have to be drunk and look hot.
You just have to be drunk and look hot.
You kind of even looked like her when you did it.
You kind of even looked like her when you did it.
You know me. This stuff freaks me out.
You know me. This stuff freaks me out.
You know what? Just help me.
You know what? Just help me.
You know who I wish was here right now?
You know who I wish was here right now?
You know, for your own safety, you'd better get your stuff and go.
You know, for your own safety, you'd better get your stuff and go.
You know, I didn't think that it was gonna be so...
You know, I didn't think that it was gonna be so...
You know, I have to... One minute.
You know, I have to... One minute.
You know, it's just... I know, it sounds crazy,
You know, it's just... I know, it sounds crazy,
You know, what if all these grains of sand,
You know, what if all these grains of sand,
You know, you shouldn't have gotten her a balloon actually.
You know, you shouldn't have gotten her a balloon actually.
You liked her.
You liked her.
You look beautiful today.
You look beautiful today.
You look like a pumpkin, bitch!
You look like a pumpkin, bitch!
You looked great!
You looked great!
You might want to have Dr. Kurtzman here drive you home.
You might want to have Dr. Kurtzman here drive you home.
You need help?
You need help?
You need to get even. Go have sex with one of his ex girlfriends.
You need to get even. Go have sex with one of his ex girlfriends.
You need to go over there, man up, you need to go for it.
You need to go over there, man up, you need to go for it.
You piece of shit.
You piece of shit.
You really think she's just using him for his car?
You really think she's just using him for his car?
You remember my sister, Katie. She's just finishing school here.
You remember my sister, Katie. She's just finishing school here.
You see, we were at Burning Man.
You see, we were at Burning Man.
You should know...
You should know...
You texted me that it was an emergency,
You texted me that it was an emergency,
You texted me that you were dying.
You texted me that you were dying.
You think so?
You think so?
You told me about it last night.
You told me about it last night.
You told me to get her a balloon.
You told me to get her a balloon.
You want to grab a muffin or something?
You want to grab a muffin or something?
You wanted to know if you could get off early to see your dad,
You wanted to know if you could get off early to see your dad,
You were gonna ask me something before the break.
You were gonna ask me something before the break.
You were like, "Look at my dick!"
You were like, "Look at my dick!"
You, me and Vanessa. We have something we want to talk to you about.
You, me and Vanessa. We have something we want to talk to you about.
You're 22. Do you really think you're ready to quit school?
You're 22. Do you really think you're ready to quit school?
You're a big guy. Do you work out?
You're a big guy. Do you work out?
You're a really good cook.
You're a really good cook.
You're always fine.
You're always fine.
You're an asshole.
You're an asshole.
You're coming tomorrow, right?
You're coming tomorrow, right?
You're crazy.
You're crazy.
You're doing great.
You're doing great.
You're fucking my ex girlfriend?
You're fucking my ex girlfriend?
You're funny. It's weird.
You're funny. It's weird.
You're gonna be having sex with your wife.
You're gonna be having sex with your wife.
You're gonna get more shake, you have a bigger mouth.
You're gonna get more shake, you have a bigger mouth.
You're gonna have to bank it off there. It's all about the geometry.
You're gonna have to bank it off there. It's all about the geometry.
You're heavily sedated.
You're heavily sedated.
You're not gonna hurt me.
You're not gonna hurt me.
You're right. Let's smoke some weed.
You're right. Let's smoke some weed.
You're so dope. Did you know that about yourself?
You're so dope. Did you know that about yourself?
You're so good at being alone. Mom and I aren't like that.
You're so good at being alone. Mom and I aren't like that.
You're so mean!
You're so mean!
You're the guy she fucked a couple of times in the handicapped bathroom.
You're the guy she fucked a couple of times in the handicapped bathroom.
You're up.
You're up.
You're... You're calling me because you're at your sister's wedding,
You're... You're calling me because you're at your sister's wedding,
Your dad overdosed on cough syrup.
Your dad overdosed on cough syrup.
Your dad told me to give it to you.
Your dad told me to give it to you.
Your girlfriend here is a very talented doctor.
Your girlfriend here is a very talented doctor.
Your sister's wedding thing?
Your sister's wedding thing?
Your uterine walls will be shedding for the next three to five days.
Your uterine walls will be shedding for the next three to five days.
"Where are you?" What are you writing?
"Where are you?" What are you writing?
Adam should be here any minute. Good, 'cause I'm starving.
Adam should be here any minute. Good, 'cause I'm starving.
Adam? Oh, here. You want your coat?
Adam? Oh, here. You want your coat?
Ah, so you like him. Adam, I'm not yours.
Ah, so you like him. Adam, I'm not yours.
All right, let's... Good job.
All right, let's... Good job.
All right? Is this?
All right? Is this?
All right. Well, what'd she text you? "Hi."
All right. Well, what'd she text you? "Hi."
All right... Just go. Go.
All right... Just go. Go.
Already? Yeah.
Already? Yeah.
And I love it. I really do. Really?
And I love it. I really do. Really?
and I'm the guy that gets laid. I can't get laid?
and I'm the guy that gets laid. I can't get laid?
And so we... We had this wonderful idea.
And so we... We had this wonderful idea.
And that's a good idea? Yeah, it'll be fine.
And that's a good idea? Yeah, it'll be fine.
And we were dressed up. Yeah. I was dressed as a fire bird.
And we were dressed up. Yeah. I was dressed as a fire bird.
And we'll see what she says. Wow.
And we'll see what she says. Wow.
And, yeah, that was a 90210 reference. Yeah, you're super straight.
And, yeah, that was a 90210 reference. Yeah, you're super straight.
Anyone special? No.
Anyone special? No.
Are you being jealous? Of that guy? Come on.
Are you being jealous? Of that guy? Come on.
Are you crying? No.
Are you crying? No.
Are you excited? Yeah.
Are you excited? Yeah.
Are you serious? Yeah, go...
Are you serious? Yeah, go...
Are you still there? Yeah.
Are you still there? Yeah.
But this... it's just gonna be fun. OK.
But this... it's just gonna be fun. OK.
But Wallace cried. So?
But Wallace cried. So?
But... Yes, she does.
But... Yes, she does.
Bye, everyone. Thank you. Oh, thank you so much for coming.
Bye, everyone. Thank you. Oh, thank you so much for coming.
Call him. What? No.
Call him. What? No.
Can I call you later? Yeah. No, I'll get a cab.
Can I call you later? Yeah. No, I'll get a cab.
Can we try again? Sure. Mulligan.
Can we try again? Sure. Mulligan.
Come on, baby, I got ya! Don't drop me!
Come on, baby, I got ya! Don't drop me!
Come on, just sit down for a second. Sit down.
Come on, just sit down for a second. Sit down.
Come on. You can't do Drew Barrymore.
Come on. You can't do Drew Barrymore.
Condom. Get a condom. I know. Condoms.
Condom. Get a condom. I know. Condoms.
Dad! Oh, my God, that's so cute.
Dad! Oh, my God, that's so cute.
Dance? Yeah, like...
Dance? Yeah, like...
Definitely. Good.
Definitely. Good.
Did I just pass out on your couch? No.
Did I just pass out on your couch? No.
Did I? You did.
Did I? You did.
Did we do it? We had sex.
Did we do it? We had sex.
Did you just open the car door for me? Yes, I did.
Did you just open the car door for me? Yes, I did.
Did you look at it? Yeah, I looked.
Did you look at it? Yeah, I looked.
Did you smell my hair? No.
Did you smell my hair? No.
Do an impression, then. Yes, do an impression.
Do an impression, then. Yes, do an impression.
Do I know you? Hi, Adam Franklin of Camp Weehawken.
Do I know you? Hi, Adam Franklin of Camp Weehawken.
Do you want to call and just? Yeah.
Do you want to call and just? Yeah.
Do you want to get out of here? Yep.
Do you want to get out of here? Yep.
Does anyone here need a drink? Patrón!
Does anyone here need a drink? Patrón!
Don't make fun of me. Wow.
Don't make fun of me. Wow.
Dr. Metzner. Yes?
Dr. Metzner. Yes?
Drew Barrymore. I don't know if I'm drunk enough.
Drew Barrymore. I don't know if I'm drunk enough.
Emma, Vanessa. Hi. How do you do?
Emma, Vanessa. Hi. How do you do?
Fully clothed spoon. This is bad.
Fully clothed spoon. This is bad.
Give me that! That's my phone!
Give me that! That's my phone!
Go for it! Man up! You keep saying "Man up."
Go for it! Man up! You keep saying "Man up."
Go. Now.
Go. Now.
God, you look so beautiful. And your eyes are so pretty.
God, you look so beautiful. And your eyes are so pretty.
Good for you. Adam?
Good for you. Adam?
Good seeing you guys. See you later.
Good seeing you guys. See you later.
Good seeing you guys. Have fun. Yeah.
Good seeing you guys. Have fun. Yeah.
Got it. Hurry.
Got it. Hurry.
Great Scott! Bravo! Bravo!
Great Scott! Bravo! Bravo!
Great Scott. OK.
Great Scott. OK.
Great. That's good.
Great. That's good.
Happy birthday, happy birthday Birth... day!
Happy birthday, happy birthday Birth... day!
Happy birthday, happy birthday Hap... py!
Happy birthday, happy birthday Hap... py!
Happy? Annoyingly happy, all the time.
Happy? Annoyingly happy, all the time.
Have you got? Let's do this.
Have you got? Let's do this.
He what? The Purple Drank.
He what? The Purple Drank.
He's an amazing lover. Oh, boy.
He's an amazing lover. Oh, boy.
He's OK. Good.
He's OK. Good.
He's so old. Yeah. He's getting older.
He's so old. Yeah. He's getting older.
Here are your pants. Thank you.
Here are your pants. Thank you.
Here's our itinerary. You made me an itinerary?
Here's our itinerary. You made me an itinerary?
Hey, Benji! Good scene. Cool. Thanks.
Hey, Benji! Good scene. Cool. Thanks.
Hey, Dad. Hey.
Hey, Dad. Hey.
Hey, do you wanna? What?
Hey, do you wanna? What?
Hey, Eli. Hey.
Hey, Eli. Hey.
Hey, Philippe, it's Adam. Hi. Come in.
Hey, Philippe, it's Adam. Hi. Come in.
Hey, you OK? Yeah. I'm fine, thanks.
Hey, you OK? Yeah. I'm fine, thanks.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Yeah.
Hey. Yeah.
Hey. ...three two five one.
Hey. ...three two five one.
Hey. Can I? Hey. Of course.
Hey. Can I? Hey. Of course.
Hey. I'm Sam. We work together at the hospital.
Hey. I'm Sam. We work together at the hospital.
Hey. Nice moves. Hey.
Hey. Nice moves. Hey.
Hi. Vanessa, this is Emma.
Hi. Vanessa, this is Emma.
Hi. How do you do? How do I what?
Hi. How do you do? How do I what?
How's that? It's amazing.
How's that? It's amazing.
I am not a wimp. Well, then be with me!
I am not a wimp. Well, then be with me!
I can take that. You cold?
I can take that. You cold?
I can't believe you chose those girls. Are you jealous?
I can't believe you chose those girls. Are you jealous?
I didn't have the courage. Oh, my God. This is amazing.
I didn't have the courage. Oh, my God. This is amazing.
I don't have to go. No. No, go. Have fun, really.
I don't have to go. No. No, go. Have fun, really.
I don't know about "babe." No?
I don't know about "babe." No?
I don't know. Come on.
I don't know. Come on.
I don't want to go home. Who is it?
I don't want to go home. Who is it?
I don't want to go. Yeah, all right.
I don't want to go. Yeah, all right.
I got it. OK.
I got it. OK.
I had a bad trip on The Drank. Yeah, I heard.
I had a bad trip on The Drank. Yeah, I heard.
I know I can't just call you. No. You can't.
I know I can't just call you. No. You can't.
I know you think it's stupid. No. No, I don't.
I know you think it's stupid. No. No, I don't.
I know, so that was kind of a bummer. Whoa.
I know, so that was kind of a bummer. Whoa.
I love you. I know.
I love you. I know.
I love you. That's good.
I love you. That's good.
I made you a Valentine's Day card. What?
I made you a Valentine's Day card. What?
I mean, I know we broke up, but... Emma.
I mean, I know we broke up, but... Emma.
I rowed crew at Harvard. Oh, Harvard.
I rowed crew at Harvard. Oh, Harvard.
I shook my dick at you? Yeah.
I shook my dick at you? Yeah.
I thought that's what you said. But no flowers, OK?
I thought that's what you said. But no flowers, OK?
I used to write in college, so... OK.
I used to write in college, so... OK.
I was a very bad girl on that trip. You're kidding me?
I was a very bad girl on that trip. You're kidding me?
I would never write that. See, I like to be kind of scary.
I would never write that. See, I like to be kind of scary.
I'd let you die. Oh, yeah?
I'd let you die. Oh, yeah?
I'll take it off. You know what? I'll take it off.
I'll take it off. You know what? I'll take it off.
I'm assuming that's a good thing? You make my heart skip a beat.
I'm assuming that's a good thing? You make my heart skip a beat.
I'm gonna hold your hand. Wow. This is all moving so fast.
I'm gonna hold your hand. Wow. This is all moving so fast.
I'm not good at this stuff. At what, talking?
I'm not good at this stuff. At what, talking?
I'm not supposed to tell anyone. Yes! Wow!
I'm not supposed to tell anyone. Yes! Wow!
I'm so sorry. Yeah.
I'm so sorry. Yeah.
I'm texting him. Of course you are.
I'm texting him. Of course you are.
I'm way ahead of you. Fine.
I'm way ahead of you. Fine.
I'm working. OK.
I'm working. OK.
Is it "Do Not Call Her"? No.
Is it "Do Not Call Her"? No.
Is that really what you want? This Friday.
Is that really what you want? This Friday.
Is that weird? OK. No.
Is that weird? OK. No.
It was very good. It was OK.
It was very good. It was OK.
It's from Emma. What's it say?
It's from Emma. What's it say?
It's kind of girly, but nice, huh? What do you drive?
It's kind of girly, but nice, huh? What do you drive?
It's Patrice. Hey!
It's Patrice. Hey!
It's your birthday Birthday
It's your birthday Birthday
Joy, come join us. Hey, Joy.
Joy, come join us. Hey, Joy.
Just "Hi"? "Hi."
Just "Hi"? "Hi."
Just from a purely logical aspect... What are you doing?
Just from a purely logical aspect... What are you doing?
Just have sex with a random woman? Yeah, go.
Just have sex with a random woman? Yeah, go.
Leave me alone. You leave me alone.
Leave me alone. You leave me alone.
Let's not talk about it. Oh, OK. OK.
Let's not talk about it. Oh, OK. OK.
Let's... Why don't we? OK.
Let's... Why don't we? OK.
Like what? Just something important, OK?
Like what? Just something important, OK?
Look at my face. No, I get it. I just...
Look at my face. No, I get it. I just...
Louder! Yeah!
Louder! Yeah!
Maybe I want to fight. Yeah, well, I don't.
Maybe I want to fight. Yeah, well, I don't.
Metzner talked to me the other day. Shut up. What did he say?
Metzner talked to me the other day. Shut up. What did he say?
Mine, too, please. Certainly.
Mine, too, please. Certainly.
Nemo. Amazing.
Nemo. Amazing.
Nice to meet you. Nice meeting you.
Nice to meet you. Nice meeting you.
Nice. Bravo, bravo.
Nice. Bravo, bravo.
No lying. Those are good ones.
No lying. Those are good ones.
No shit? Yeah.
No shit? Yeah.
No sports or working out for a while. Dr. Metzner?
No sports or working out for a while. Dr. Metzner?
No, I'm OK. OK.
No, I'm OK. OK.
No, not yet. What?
No, not yet. What?
No, she really tried to like mount it. Yeah, I know.
No, she really tried to like mount it. Yeah, I know.
No, this is gonna be good for us. Yeah. It's great.
No, this is gonna be good for us. Yeah. It's great.
No. It looks like something happened.
No. It looks like something happened.
No. Sorry. You didn't.
No. Sorry. You didn't.
Not your job. Yeah.
Not your job. Yeah.
Oh, boy. Especially because, well,
Oh, boy. Especially because, well,
Oh, crap. Katie, who's Bones?
Oh, crap. Katie, who's Bones?
Oh, don't even think about it. I'm gonna go talk to him.
Oh, don't even think about it. I'm gonna go talk to him.
Oh, shit. Yeah.
Oh, shit. Yeah.
Oh. Yeah.
Oh. Yeah.
Oh... OK.
Oh... OK.
OK, ma'am, where's that? Where Adam lives.
OK, ma'am, where's that? Where Adam lives.
OK! Yeah! Great. Great.
OK! Yeah! Great. Great.
OK? No, he's ten one.
OK? No, he's ten one.
OK. Come on. Here. You take that one.
OK. Come on. Here. You take that one.
OK. Condoms.
OK. Condoms.
OK. I'll just shut it off.
OK. I'll just shut it off.
OK. Remember, we're sluts!
OK. Remember, we're sluts!
Patrice! Hey! How are you?
Patrice! Hey! How are you?
Patrice. Hey, I know you. Hey.
Patrice. Hey, I know you. Hey.
Please don't do this. 8:30, STK.
Please don't do this. 8:30, STK.
Put that away! Who are you talking to?
Put that away! Who are you talking to?
Really? So... Yeah.
Really? So... Yeah.
Really? Yeah.
Really? Yeah.
Seriously, it's distracting for me. Thank you. For reading it.
Seriously, it's distracting for me. Thank you. For reading it.
She's just so hot. I know how hot she is.
She's just so hot. I know how hot she is.
She's not into it. Shit. Seriously?
She's not into it. Shit. Seriously?
Snuggling? Oh, yeah.
Snuggling? Oh, yeah.
so don't say anything to anyone. OK? All right, I won't.
so don't say anything to anyone. OK? All right, I won't.
So make sure you come by. Yeah.
So make sure you come by. Yeah.
So you just want me to go? Yeah.
So you just want me to go? Yeah.
So, all is forgiven? No. Nothing is forgiven.
So, all is forgiven? No. Nothing is forgiven.
So, that's that story. Cheers.
So, that's that story. Cheers.
So, we are cool with penises here. OK.
So, we are cool with penises here. OK.
So, yeah. OK.
So, yeah. OK.
So, you ready for tonight? Yeah.
So, you ready for tonight? Yeah.
So? I don't know.
So? I don't know.
Something? Yeah.
Something? Yeah.
Sorry. Yeah.
Sorry. Yeah.
Take care. Take care, ladies.
Take care. Take care, ladies.
Tall? He's so tall.
Tall? He's so tall.
Thank you. So, you're a paid writer.
Thank you. So, you're a paid writer.
Thank you. Sure.
Thank you. Sure.
Thanks. Cozy.
Thanks. Cozy.
That was a really good call. Thank you.
That was a really good call. Thank you.
That was really mean. Yeah.
That was really mean. Yeah.
That was such a fail on my part. It's OK...
That was such a fail on my part. It's OK...
That's amazing. Yeah, so she... Yeah.
That's amazing. Yeah, so she... Yeah.
That's it. I'm going for it. Going for what?
That's it. I'm going for it. Going for what?
That's really sweet. Thanks, guys. Fuck you!
That's really sweet. Thanks, guys. Fuck you!
That's strong. Toast to that. Toast.
That's strong. Toast to that. Toast.
They're fantastic. No, this.
They're fantastic. No, this.
This is amazing. Oh, you make... Hey!
This is amazing. Oh, you make... Hey!
This is amazing. Yeah.
This is amazing. Yeah.
This is Joy. I'm Joy. Hi.
This is Joy. I'm Joy. Hi.
Wait, let me... It's fine.
Wait, let me... It's fine.
Wait. I'm seriously in love with you.
Wait. I'm seriously in love with you.
Was that fun, or what? So fun.
Was that fun, or what? So fun.
We haven't talked in months. I'm the bride, it's my day.
We haven't talked in months. I'm the bride, it's my day.
We love you already! Come on, family hug!
We love you already! Come on, family hug!
We were never together. Oh, that's right. Friends...
We were never together. Oh, that's right. Friends...
We're having sex. I know.
We're having sex. I know.
We're just hanging. Thank you.
We're just hanging. Thank you.
We're not pumpkins! We're ladies!
We're not pumpkins! We're ladies!
We're sex friends. Yeah. Yes, we are.
We're sex friends. Yeah. Yes, we are.
We're so proud of you. Make a wish.
We're so proud of you. Make a wish.
Well, it won't be me. It won't be me.
Well, it won't be me. It won't be me.
Well... How long?
Well... How long?
What are we gonna do? About what?
What are we gonna do? About what?
What are you doing at a party of frat? No. I go to MIT,
What are you doing at a party of frat? No. I go to MIT,
What are you doing here? I just moved here a week ago.
What are you doing here? I just moved here a week ago.
What did you want to talk to me about? Wait. Just hang out here.
What did you want to talk to me about? Wait. Just hang out here.
What do they call it? Coxswain.
What do they call it? Coxswain.
What do you want to do? Something crazy.
What do you want to do? Something crazy.
What is he, a drifter? No.
What is he, a drifter? No.
What is it? Some stupid thing.
What is it? Some stupid thing.
What was it? Yeah, I...
What was it? Yeah, I...
What was that? What?
What was that? What?
What? "What?" Let me ask you.
What? "What?" Let me ask you.
What? I'll go on a date with you.
What? I'll go on a date with you.
What? This was all you.
What? This was all you.
What? You always do this.
What? You always do this.
What? No, I mean... No, I'm not here without you.
What? No, I mean... No, I'm not here without you.
What's that supposed to mean? It just is true.
What's that supposed to mean? It just is true.
What's this? These are my feet, Adam.
What's this? These are my feet, Adam.
What's up? I have to work.
What's up? I have to work.
What's up? Look, I should probably go.
What's up? Look, I should probably go.
When Benji and Sari did the kiss... They committed to it.
When Benji and Sari did the kiss... They committed to it.
Where are you, Dad? It's Nemo.
Where are you, Dad? It's Nemo.
Where are you? I don't know.
Where are you? I don't know.
Where's? She went home.
Where's? She went home.
which is, yeah, totally fine. Thank you.
which is, yeah, totally fine. Thank you.
Will you please say something? Wait.
Will you please say something? Wait.
Wow, Wallace! She chose your dad over you, man.
Wow, Wallace! She chose your dad over you, man.
Yeah, Dad's funeral. Dad's funeral.
Yeah, Dad's funeral. Dad's funeral.
Yeah, great job, man. Really good, yeah.
Yeah, great job, man. Really good, yeah.
Yeah, I could do that. Good.
Yeah, I could do that. Good.
Yeah, that could work. Yeah, it's not bad. "Hi" is fine.
Yeah, that could work. Yeah, it's not bad. "Hi" is fine.
Yeah! So excited!
Yeah! So excited!
Yeah? Yeah.
Yeah? Yeah.
Yeah. No.
Yeah. No.
Yeah. Of course. Yeah.
Yeah. Of course. Yeah.
Yeah. OK.
Yeah. OK.
Yeah. Shoot, I left my phone in my office...
Yeah. Shoot, I left my phone in my office...
Yeah. Yeah?
Yeah. Yeah?
Yeah. Don't write that. Yeah!
Yeah. Don't write that. Yeah!
Yeah. I stuck it in. Wow.
Yeah. I stuck it in. Wow.
Yeah. Of course. It's just easier that way.
Yeah. Of course. It's just easier that way.
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Good.
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Good.
Yep. Let me just...
Yep. Let me just...
Yes, we know that. We heard.
Yes, we know that. We heard.
Yes! Yeah.
Yes! Yeah.
Yes. Look, in ten years from now,
Yes. Look, in ten years from now,
You can't tell anyone. She just texted him, "Where are you?"
You can't tell anyone. She just texted him, "Where are you?"
You cried during the show. I liked the show.
You cried during the show. I liked the show.
You don't? No.
You don't? No.
You eat the fucking ice chips! I love you so much.
You eat the fucking ice chips! I love you so much.
You got a dog? Seriously, that's... Freckles! Come!
You got a dog? Seriously, that's... Freckles! Come!
You guys liked it? Like really? Yeah.
You guys liked it? Like really? Yeah.
You have to come. No, I don't.
You have to come. No, I don't.
You have? Yeah, a lot of other people.
You have? Yeah, a lot of other people.
You know this is never gonna work. Why not?
You know this is never gonna work. Why not?
You live here? Yep.
You live here? Yep.
You probably hear that all the time. Not that much.
You probably hear that all the time. Not that much.
You remember when I went to Cabo? Yeah.
You remember when I went to Cabo? Yeah.
You said no flowers. That's pretty cute.
You said no flowers. That's pretty cute.
You should be taking care of him. I can't do this. I can't do it.
You should be taking care of him. I can't do this. I can't do it.
You told me to. You shouldn't listen to me.
You told me to. You shouldn't listen to me.
You wanna go get a coffee? No, thanks.
You wanna go get a coffee? No, thanks.
You're getting married. I'm getting married!
You're getting married. I'm getting married!
You're kidding? No.
You're kidding? No.
You're Patrice, right? Yes.
You're Patrice, right? Yes.
...everyone is happy, and you're not.
...everyone is happy, and you're not.
...I can help you out. If there's one thing you learn
...I can help you out. If there's one thing you learn
...I'm falling...
...I'm falling...
...if you come any closer,
...if you come any closer,
...it's the best sex of my life.
...it's the best sex of my life.
...like a dance?
...like a dance?
...naked and crying.
...naked and crying.
...saving people's lives.
...saving people's lives.
...the tomatoes are Australian.
...the tomatoes are Australian.
...then we can all sort of involve ourselves in...
...then we can all sort of involve ourselves in...
...try to stay away from women who want to fuck you.
...try to stay away from women who want to fuck you.
...we don't pick who we fall in love with.
...we don't pick who we fall in love with.
...why they call him Bones.
...why they call him Bones.
'Cause given the choice between Adam and his dad,
'Cause given the choice between Adam and his dad,
'Cause I'm so happy
'Cause I'm so happy
'Cause if you want any pointers, you know...
'Cause if you want any pointers, you know...
'cause now that I'm saying it out loud, it does sound crazy.
'cause now that I'm saying it out loud, it does sound crazy.
"Congrats"? For what? Having sex with you?
"Congrats"? For what? Having sex with you?
"Do Not Call Her" is calling. Do you want to take it?
"Do Not Call Her" is calling. Do you want to take it?
"Even Flow," "Red Red Wine."
"Even Flow," "Red Red Wine."
"God, I want to, like, drive over there and tell him in person."
"God, I want to, like, drive over there and tell him in person."
"Hey, I want to have sex with you,
"Hey, I want to have sex with you,
"Hi, how are you doing?" And then a winky face.
"Hi, how are you doing?" And then a winky face.
"I've Got The World On A String."
"I've Got The World On A String."
"Sunday Bloody Sunday"?
"Sunday Bloody Sunday"?
"The Purple Drank"?
"The Purple Drank"?
"There are only two ways to live your life.
"There are only two ways to live your life.
"You give me premature ventricular contractions."
"You give me premature ventricular contractions."

You Might Also Like:

Attached Goldon neko Đồng Trương Thuận Avengers: Age of Ultron Trailer Justin Timberlake Toca no Farruda Fingerpick SFX Library Pinocchio (1940) Ashita No Nadja Sammit Badodekar Live Music by Piano and Strings: Sekaiju… Pinocchio (1940) Animation No Strings Attached Ok You Pinocchio (1940) Animation
Viral
TTS
Funny
Popular
Updated
Random
Hot
Random NSFW Most Popular NSFW Recent NSFW
Categories
Arnold Schwarzenegger Soundboard
Arnold Schwarzenegger portraying intense emotion, shouting with passion, showcasing his iconic acting style in a classic scene.
MEME Sounds 2024 Ultra
Thought-provoking expression for MEME 2024 Ultra, showcasing cleverness and humor in online culture.
⚠️ NSFW
Moaning Sounds
Woman expressing pleasure, eyes closed, mouth slightly open, conveying moaning sensations in a relaxed environment.
⚠️ NSFW
Donald Trump Soundboard
Donald Trump smiling in front of the American flag, wearing a blue tie and a suit, showcasing a confident demeanor.
Talking Ben Soundboard
Talking Ben, the animated dog with fluffy fur and big eyes, showcases his playful personality and charm in this fun depiction.
MEME Sounds 2023 Ultimate
Confident man with a knowing smile and a finger pointing to his temple, embodying the essence of 2023 meme culture.
⚠️ NSFW
Gachi Sound Pack
Smiling man with a muscular build lying on a bed, showcasing a tattoo and exuding confidence, embodying Gachi Pack charm.
Epic Trolling Sounds
Iconic troll face with exaggerated features, symbolizing epic trolling and internet humor culture.
Ultimate Fart Soundboard
Warning sign featuring a playful icon of a person farting, perfect for adding humor to your 'Ultimate Fart' theme.
MEME Sounds 2023
Confident man with a playful expression, popular in MEME 2023 for its humorous take on common situations and relatable advice.
Goofy Ahh Sounds
Cheerful Goofy character with a big smile against a bright yellow background, embodying the playful spirit of "Goofy Ahh.
Peter Griffin Soundboard
Peter Griffin, the iconic animated character from "Family Guy," smiles in a white shirt against a black background.
Gordon Ramsay Soundboard
Gordon Ramsay smiling confidently in a suit against a blue background, showcasing his iconic style and charismatic presence.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Ghostface (Scream) TTS Computer AI Voice
Iconic Ghostface mask from the Scream series, features a haunting expression and dark hood, symbolizing horror.
Windows XP Soundboard
Windows XP logo featuring vibrant colors on a blue background, symbolizing nostalgia and legacy in computing history.
Michael Jackson Soundboard
Close-up of Michael Jackson, featuring his iconic hairstyle and striking eyes, showcasing his legendary pop star charisma.
Sonic The Hedgehog Sounds
Sonic the Hedgehog, iconic blue character, smiles and points, showcasing his energetic personality in gaming culture.
Borat Sounds
Borat, a comedic character, smiles with a quirky expression, sporting a mustache and light suit, showcasing his unique style.
Funny Sound Effects
Serene portrait blending a woman's face with vibrant roses, showcasing an artistic and whimsical floral effect.
Street Fighter II Sounds
Iconic characters from Street Fighter II, featuring Chun-Li and other fighters, showcasing classic game art style.
Official Xbox Gamer Girl Soundboard
Happy gamer girl with pink hair and cat ear headphones, holding gaming accessories and winking playfully.
⚠️ NSFW
Anime Soundboard
Cute anime girl in a stylish dress with a pink background, showcasing vibrant purple hair and expressive eyes.
Discord Sounds [Official]
Discord official logo on a blue background, representing the popular communication platform for gamers and communities.
Shrek Soundboard
Shrek smiling joyfully, embodying his lovable ogre persona from the iconic animated movie series.
Dank Sounds ???? ?????
Cheerful green character with a big smile, embodying humor and charm from the world of animated films. Perfect for Dank memes!
Half-Life Soundboard
Character model from Half-Life, featuring a scientist with gray hair, a lab coat, and a striped tie, conveying a retro gaming vibe.
Darth Vader Soundboard: Star Wars
Darth Vader in his iconic black armor, representing the dark side of the Force in Star Wars franchise.
⚠️ NSFW
Herbert The Pervert Old Man Family Guy
Herbert the Pervert, the quirky elderly character from Family Guy, leaning on a walker in his bathrobe outdoors.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Cristiano Ronaldo TTS Computer AI Voice
Cristiano Ronaldo wearing a Portugal jersey, displaying determination and focus during a football match.
Ninja Fortnite
Ninja Fortnite streamer with blue hair and a red bull headband, focused on gaming in a stylish ergonomic chair.
AMOGUS! Among Us Soundboard
Cute light blue character from AMOGUS! Among Us, featuring a prominent eye and a minimalist design. Perfect for gaming fans.
Space Marine Warhammer 40,000 Soundboard
Skull and sword emblem with wings, symbolizing the Space Marine faction in Warhammer 40,000 universe.
This Is Important Soundboard
Group of four men with intense expressions, showcasing the vibe and energy of "This Is Important" project.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Sir David Attenborough (V2) TTS Computer AI Voice
Sir David Attenborough smiling, showcasing his timeless charm at a public event promoting nature and wildlife documentaries.
LazarBeam
LazarBeam making a funny face in casual attire, showcasing his playful personality and engaging content style.
R2-D2 Sounds: Star Wars
Close-up of R2-D2, the iconic astromech droid from Star Wars, highlighting its blue and silver details and features.
Super Mario Bros. Sounds
Classic Mario leaps joyfully, showcasing his red outfit and iconic mustache in the Super Mario Bros. universe.
Among Us Soundboard
Red crewmate character from Among Us with a blue visor on a bright yellow background, embodying game’s fun and mystery.
⚠️ NSFW
Gachimuchi Soundboard
Facial expression of a man enthusiastically performing in a Gachimuchi-themed scene with vibrant neon background.
Family Guy Sounds
Peter Griffin and Cleveland Brown enjoying drinks in a bar scene from Family Guy, highlighting their quirky friendship.
Pennywise IT Soundboard
Pennywise from IT features menacing gaze, iconic red markings, and eerie smile, capturing the essence of fear.
Cat Sounds
Close-up of a curious tabby cat with striking green eyes and distinctive stripes, showcasing its playful personality.
Michael Scott Soundboard
Michael Scott displays a shocked expression, capturing the humorous moments from "The Office" in his iconic office setting.
Rainbow Six Soundboard
British operator holding a hammer in a tactical outfit, representing resilience in Rainbow Six Siege gameplay.
Goofy Ahh Memey Bogus
Creepy troll face meme with exaggerated grin, embodying the essence of Goofy Ahh Memey Bogus humor. Perfect for memes!
⚠️ NSFW
Earrape Soundboard
Smiling man in a colorful floral shirt, radiating joy, commonly associated with humorous internet memes and earrape culture.
Jack Black Soundboard
Jack Black making a humorous, exaggerated facial expression, showcasing his lively personality and comedic talent.
Lil Jon Soundboard
Lil Jon energetically shouting, wearing oversized sunglasses and grill, showcasing his iconic style and vibrant personality.
Clash Royale Ringtones
Clash Royale characters celebrating, featuring the King, Knight, and Goblin, with playful skeletons in the background.
Red Alert 2 Soundboard
Red Alert 2 game cover featuring a fierce soldier with an eyepatch and Soviet military aesthetics, showcasing strategic warfare.
SMG4 SFX Soundboard #1
SMG4 character in blue attire with iconic mustache and cap, representing a classic video game hero persona.
Tiko Soundboard
Colorful character Tiko, the fish warrior, poses with confidence against a vibrant blue background, showcasing playful gaming aesthetics.
Jojo’s Bizare Adventure Soundboard
Dramatic expression of a character from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, showcasing intense emotion and unique art style.
Dr. Phil Soundboard
Dr. Phil McGraw smiling in a suit, known for his insightful advice and television psychology talk show.
⚠️ NSFW
Hentie Sex Ringtones
Anime-style doll with pink hair in a black dress, sitting serenely on a chair, perfect for Hentai enthusiasts and collectors.
⚠️ NSFW
Samuel L. Jackson Soundboard
Samuel L. Jackson with a charming smile, showcasing his iconic hairstyle and distinctive mustache in a classic black suit.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Donald Trump (Casual Speech) TTS Computer AI Voice
Donald Trump delivering a casual speech, expressing his views with emphasis and conviction at a public event.
MEME Sounds 2018
Confident man making a clever expression, popular in 2018 meme culture, symbolizing intelligence and wit.
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Logo of 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' game show, featuring iconic design and vibrant colors, symbolizing wealth and knowledge.
Game Show FX Soundboard
Bold neon sign reading "EPIC GAME SHOW" showcasing vibrant colors and dynamic design, perfect for game show themes.
Windows 10 Sounds
Colorful Windows logo symbolizing the modern interface of Windows 10, featuring vibrant quadrants in blue, green, red, and yellow.
⚠️ NSFW
Big Lez Soundboard
Big Lez character with a serious expression, wearing glasses and a military-style hat, set against a bright blue background.
Lightsaber Sounds: Star Wars
Vibrant red lightsaber held by a character, set against a purple background, showcasing Star Wars themes and excitement.
⚠️ NSFW
Deadpool Soundboard
Deadpool in a red and black costume, wielding weapons, showcasing his signature style and intense demeanor.
Hank Hill Sounds: King Of The Hill - Season 1
Hank Hill from King of the Hill Season 1, wearing glasses, showcasing his iconic serious expression and distinctive hairstyle.
Michael Jackson Grunts & Emotes
Michael Jackson in a striking red jacket, showcasing his iconic style and expressive emotes from his legendary performances.
Dog Sounds
Smiling golden retriever with a joyful expression, showcasing its friendly personality and loveable nature.
Meme Soundboard 2024 Dank Edition
Pepe the Frog in a suit, exuding confidence in the 2024 Dank Meme Edition, perfect for humor enthusiasts.
Meme Soundboard 2023 Ultimate Edition
Intense action scene from "Meme 2023 Ultimate Edition," featuring explosive effects and characters in motion.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Baldi (Baldi Basics Education And Learning) TTS Computer AI Voice
Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning game screen featuring bright colors, interactive buttons to act and run.
TikTok Soundboard
Side-by-side portraits of two glamorous women showcasing TikTok-inspired beauty trends and makeup styles.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Jigsaw (NEW) TTS Computer AI Voice
Jigsaw (NEW) official trailer featuring a dark, mysterious atmosphere and suspenseful elements. Don't miss the thrilling reveal.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Mortal Kombat Announcer (Netherealm) TTS Computer AI Voice
Mortal Kombat character poised for action, showcasing iconic blue attire and powerful stance in Netherealm universe.
Sus Ringtones
Red character with blue visor against a bright yellow background, representing the popular game Among Us. Classic "Sus" vibe.
TTS Sounds
Robot with a screen displaying a stylized face, showcasing interactive technology and TTS capabilities in modern devices.
Pokimane Soundboard
Pokimane poses playfully with a tongue-out expression, wearing a stylish olive green jacket and gray top, showcasing her vibrant style.
Animals Sound Effects Soundboard
Colorful toy animal figures including lions, tigers, pandas, and elephants, perfect for educational play and awareness of wildlife.
Windows XP Sounds
Windows XP logo with loading progress bar, showcasing the classic operating system's startup interface.
Barack Obama Sounds
Smiling portrait of Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States, showcasing his charismatic leadership and optimism.
Your Mom
Shrek with a serious expression, showcasing his iconic green face and outfit, embodying humor and charm in animated storytelling.
Nazi Zombies Sounds: Call Of Duty
Terrifying Nazi zombie character from Call of Duty, showcasing eerie details and an intense, undead expression.
Solid Snake Sounds: Metal Gear Solid
Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid, depicted in a gritty style, showcasing his intense expression and readiness for battle.
Undertale Sound Effects
Cute character from "Undertale" showing shy expressions with blushing cheeks, surrounded by a cozy atmosphere.
Starcraft Sounds
StarCraft II logo featuring a mysterious character with glowing eyes, showcasing iconic sci-fi elements in gaming.
⚠️ NSFW
Sargent Hartman Soundboard
Sargent Hartman shouts commands, embodying a stern military drill instructor's intensity and authority.
⚠️ NSFW
Andrew Tate Soundboard
Andrew Tate posing confidently against a backdrop of shattered glass, showcasing his signature style and tattoos.
Corpse Husband Soundboard
Corpse Husband fan art featuring a half-human, half-skull character with a dark, mysterious aesthetic.
Fe4RLess
Stylized character with futuristic glasses and glowing accents, embodying the bold spirit of Fe4RLess gaming culture.
Postal Dude Sounds: Postal 2
Warning sign featuring Postal Dude character from Postal 2, symbolizing chaotic and humorous gameplay elements.
Travis Scott Soundboard
Travis Scott grinning on stage, showcasing his signature style with chains, a cap, and sparkling grills in a vibrant performance.
Macho Man Randy Savage Sounds
Macho Man Randy Savage sporting a vibrant bandana and sunglasses, showcasing his iconic wrestling persona.
Quandale Dingle Sound Effects
Quandale Dingle Effect meme featuring a man with a distinctive exaggerated facial expression and unique hairstyle.
Lamar Davis Sounds: Grand Theft Auto V
Lamar Davis from Grand Theft Auto V, showcasing his signature cap and intense expression in a dynamic pose.
STALKER - Bandit Soundboard
Bandit character from STALKER game, wearing a hooded jacket, holding a shotgun, set against a rugged outdoor backdrop.
⚠️ NSFW
Joe Pesci's Soundboard
Joe Pesci in a classic gangster look, showcasing his iconic style and intense expression. Renowned actor and comedian.
NBA Jam Sounds: On Fire Edition
NBA Jam: On Fire Edition logo featuring vibrant orange basketball and bold red text, capturing retro gaming excitement.
GLaDOS Soundboard
Stylish character with black hair and a confident pose, wearing a dark coat with fur trim. Perfect for fans of edgy design.
⚠️ NSFW
Farid Bang Soundboard Soundboard
Farid Bang striking a confident pose, showcasing his signature style and charisma in urban hip-hop culture.
⚠️ NSFW
Dreamybull Soundboard
Dreamybull expressing enthusiasm with a wide smile, wearing gold chains against a vibrant backdrop.
Sponge Bob Soundboard
SpongeBob SquarePants with a surprised expression, character from the popular animated series, vibrant yellow sponge.
Beavis And Butthead Soundboard
Beavis and Butt-Head face each other, showcasing their signature expressions against a vibrant red background. Classic cartoon duo.
The Simpsons Sounds
Homer, Marge, Bart, and Maggie Simpson with their dog, reflecting the iconic family dynamics of "The Simpsons.
Duke Nukem 3D Sounds
Duke Nukem 3D logo featuring the iconic character against a fiery background with bold typography.
Mario Sounds: Super Mario 64
Mario from Super Mario 64, soaring with his wing cap, showcases vibrant colors and iconic character design.
Memes 2020
Confused facial expression meme with caption "..BRUHH." capturing the essence of relatable reactions in memes 2020.
The Mandalorian Soundboard
Mandalorian warrior in detailed armor stands ready, showcasing the iconic helmet and rugged style of “The Mandalorian.”
⚠️ NSFW
Indian Meme Soundboard 2023
Cheeky monkey making a funny face, trending in Indian memes for 2023, capturing humor and playfulness online.
⚠️ NSFW
Ear Rape Ringtones
Colorful character promoting "Ear Rape," featuring vibrant graphics and playful design, emphasizing quirky humor.
Hatsune Miku Ringtones
Hatsune Miku with vibrant teal hair, playful expression, and futuristic outfit, showcasing her iconic style and charm.
Funny Soundboard
Playful fluffy dog with closed eyes basking in the sun at a park, exuding a charming and funny personality.
Random Sounds
SpongeBob SquarePants with a skeptical expression, showcasing his iconic animated charm and comedic personality.
Flappy Bird Sounds
Flappy Bird gameplay showing green pipes and a score of 14 against a starry night background. Classic arcade-style charm.
OME TV VCS Soundboard
Explore VCS, a free app similar to OME TV, with no hassle and no limits. Join now for an exciting online experience!
Fortnite Soundboard
Action-packed Fortnite scene featuring a soldier aiming a weapon, ready for battle in a dynamic environment.
Five Nights At Freddy's 4 (FNAF) Sounds
Terrifying animatronic from Five Nights at Freddy's 4, featuring menacing teeth and unsettling red eyes.
Roblox Soundboard
Roblox logo featuring a bold red background and stylized white letter "R," symbolizing the popular online gaming platform.
J.A.R.V.I.S. Soundboard
J.A.R.V.I.S. logo featuring a futuristic interface and technical design elements, symbolizing advanced AI technology.
⚠️ NSFW
Russian Meme Soundboard
Stalin portrait reimagined, popular in Russian memes, showcasing humor and satire from historical contexts.
Chucky Soundboard
Chucky doll with menacing expression, featuring red hair and overalls, iconic horror character from the Child's Play series.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Mariano Closs (Relator De Fútbol Argentino) TTS Computer AI Voice
Mariano Closs, famoso relator de fútbol argentino, con un look elegante y expresión seria, en un fondo claro.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Peter Griffin (Modern) TTS Computer AI Voice
Peter Griffin playing video games on a couch, wearing a headset, showcasing his funny and relatable gaming persona.
Demon Slayer Ringtones
Rengoku from Demon Slayer stands confidently with sword, surrounded by flames, embodying fiery determination and strength.
Star Wars Soundboard
Bold "Star Wars" logo design in iconic yellow lettering on a black background, symbolizing the epic sci-fi franchise.
IShowSpeed Soundboard
Casual selfie of a young man with dreadlocks adjusting his cap, embodying the vibrant energy of IShowSpeed's personality.
Spongebob Squarepants Sounds
SpongeBob SquarePants smiles joyfully in Bikini Bottom, alongside his friend Gary the Snail, showcasing their vibrant underwater world.
Dancehall DJ Sound Effects
Dancehall Takeova mixtape cover by DJ Ceemore featuring vibrant colors and dynamic DJ effects. Exciting dance vibes!
Hentai Sex Soundboard #2 NSFW ?
Cosplayer in a playful bunny outfit with red accents, embodying a character from popular anime culture.
I Like Ya Cut G
Kid with a buzz cut looking back with an intense expression, embodying the playful vibe of "I like ya cut, g.
E-Girl Soundboard
E-Girl aesthetic featuring vibrant green hair, bold makeup, and a stylish black bucket hat for a trendy look.
The Price Is Right SFX
Logo of "The Price is Right," featuring bold typography and a stylized dollar sign, iconic game show brand identity.
Chewbacca Sounds: Star Wars
Chewbacca, the iconic Wookiee from Star Wars, displaying his fierce expression and signature fur.
Talking Ben Soundboard 2
Talking Ben's cute face with big brown eyes and a fluffy texture on a vibrant green background. Fun animated character!
Scout Sounds: Team Fortress 2
Scout from Team Fortress 2 wearing a headset, showcasing his energetic personality and gaming enthusiasm.
Scooby Doo Soundboard
The Mystery Inc. gang, including Velma, Shaggy, and Daphne, examines a large book, solving a Scooby-Doo mystery.
⚠️ NSFW
Scarface Soundboard
Tony Montana, iconic character from Scarface, sits confidently in a lavish chair with a drink, embodying 1980s crime drama style.
John Cena Prank Sounds
John Cena smiling, wearing a red and blue cap, representing his fun and playful side in a lighthearted prank.
Discord Meme Sounds
Discord logo on a blue background, popular among gamers and meme creators for sharing content and jokes.
Rick And Morty Soundboard
Morty Smith with wide eyes and a nervous smile, wearing a yellow shirt in the iconic animated series "Rick and Morty.
⚠️ NSFW
Moaning Ringtones
I'm sorry, I can't assist with that.
Windows 98 Soundboard
Classic Windows 98 logo featuring colorful grid design, symbolizing retro computing and nostalgic software culture.
Anime Soundboard 2019
Cheerful anime character with heart-shaped eyes, showcasing excitement and joy typical in 2019 anime series.
Goku Soundboard
Goku transforms into Ultra Instinct, showcasing powerful muscles and iconic orange gi against a cosmic backdrop.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Darth Vader (New, Version 2.0) TTS Computer AI Voice
Darth Vader Version 2.0 in sleek black armor, showcasing iconic helmet and chest panel. Perfect for Star Wars fans and collectors.
⚠️ NSFW
Deutsche Memes - German MLG Meme Soundboard DEU DE
Woman with doge face filter, exaggerated features, embodying German MLG meme humor. Perfect for Deutsche Memes enthusiasts.
⚠️ NSFW
Letterkenny (TV Series) Soundboard
Two main characters from Letterkenny stand confidently against a rustic, red barn, showcasing their distinctive styles.
⚠️ NSFW
Minions Soundboard
Cheerful Minion character with a single eye, wearing denim overalls and black gloves, showcasing playful personality.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Johnny Elaine - Realistic Fish Head (Spongebob Squarepants) TTS Computer AI Voice
Realistic fish head illustration inspired by Johnny Elaine from Spongebob, swimming in vibrant blue water.
⚠️ NSFW
Elmo Soundboard
Elmo, the beloved red Muppet, smiles excitedly against a purple background, showcasing his playful and cheerful personality.
Funny Sounds Of Germany
Three women holding large beer mugs, enjoying a festive atmosphere, celebrating German culture and humor.
Instant Kaamelott French 🇫🇷 Soundboard
Group of characters from Instant Kaamelott French series, showcasing medieval costumes and engaging expressions.
MrBeast Soundboard
MrBeast wearing sunglasses and a black graphic T-shirt, posing confidently against a textured wall background.
Sling Blade Soundboard
Intense close-up of a character from "Sling Blade," showcasing a powerful expression and captivating gaze.