Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 Edit

A boy a Sewing machine as a gift?

A great pleasure to meet you.

A kid's birthday party Nah, I'm not that guy.

A pianist is playing up there.

A pillow sham! He made you a pillow sham.

About the incident in the elevator.

Ahh!

All right, I'm gonna go up there.

All right, you watch me, okay?

All right. I changed my mind.

All this fuckin' clomping around all fuckin' night?

And a contribution

And a very special thank you

And a very warm welcome to mayor Bloomberg...

And be gone with you. Asshole.

And considering the area of the injury,

And he was working on a frilly thing immediately.

And I think you'd better get another fucking gift, okay?

And I think you're clomping now

And I was talking, you probably wouldn't like it.

And I'm here to put you out of this city.

And I'm in a little bit of a rush, that's all.

And it would be a good thing if you showed up.

And it's all under the guise of Parkinson's.

And listen to anybody denigrate Michael J. Fox.

And now nobody could wear it, you know.

And then straight and then up and then down.

And then up and then down

And throughout our progress toward a cure for Parkinson's.

And we figure we have to tackle road blocks

And yesterday he shoved me

And you've made up some bullshit excuse about your feet,

Anything It can be anything. Just get him whatever.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you

Are you okay? Honey, are you okay?

Are you serious? He came to the board

Are you sure?

As a cynic it kind of sickens me, but he'd take a bullet for her.

As a matter of fact, there is a bit of a problem.

Asshole. Asshole.

At the very least it'll help you get to sleep.

Because a lot of people think

Because I did notice before you left

Because it's really It's an interesting mustache,

Being gay means that you're attracted to the person of the same sex.

Boy. Yes, I'd love to.

But

But he shakes, right? He hands you a soda that's shaken.

But if you go up there, you and him

But just having Parkinson's doesn't give you carte blanche

But she was playing background music.

But she's It's background music.

But you don't touch Mr. Fox. Do you understand?

By the way, still a lot of clomping I'm hearing.

Can I get you a soda or something, Larry?

Can't get him a baseball.

Clomping around upstairs.

Did you shake that up on purpose?

Don't you understand what he's doing?

Eddie, get Mr. Fox a cab, please. Thank you.

Enjoy the walk!

Flamboyant.

Get a life, ****!

Give the violin sign in front of all these people?

Good afternoon.

Good for you. What What are you watching in there?

Got it. Okay.

Greg! Come here, honey.

Handed you the dick, and the dick shot sperm in your face.

Happy Birthday!

He bumped into me on purpose.

He can't stop fuckin' shaking.

He could be surprised. We don't need to be surprised, okay?

He could've been shaking and shook that dick up,

He didn't He didn't really care for ****.

He is a happy, healthy, normal seven year old boy.

He looks like Hitler. The mystery is solved.

He loves everything. You met him.

He made the violin sign?!

He shook up soda and spilled it all over me.

He thought they were a bit much.

He was making the violin sign!

He went in that room, figured out in two minutes

He will be gay. He's just He's pre gay.

He would never do anything like that on purpose.

He would take a bullet for her.

He wrote it on a piece of paper.

He's a great new yorker and a great American.

He's banging on my ceiling with these special shoes.

He's been asking to take lessons.

He's holding a fundraiser

He's quite a Quite a young man.

He's really like one of my favorite people in the world, obviously.

He's something else, isn't he?

He's too young to be attracted to anybody.

He's upset because I shushed him earlier.

He's using it to harass me, okay? I swear to God.

He's using the Parkinson's to do whatever he wants.

He's wearing combat boots.

Hey, Fox. Fox! Fox!

Hey, look at that.

Hey, shh! Quiet.

Hey. Shh! Come on.

Hi. Oh, look at Hey, Greg!

His birthday's next week.

His wife Tracy Pollan She's a saint.

Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody.

Hitler! Yeah, Hitler.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. Yeah.

Ho! Heh hey.

Honest to God, I can't sleep.

How are you doing? My assistant called. Table for three.

How are you feeling?

How is it none of my business?

How much are you thinking?

How to work that sewing machine.

Huh? Do you believe this?

Huh. So you deny the whole thing?

I bought a violin for this little kid.

I couldn't say it out loud because I didn't want to disturb you.

I decided to go someplace else.

I didn't mean to waste 12 seconds of your precious time.

I didn't play with the buttons. He played with the buttons.

I don't give a shit.

I don't know how you do it. I really don't.

I don't know that you can make that assumption.

I don't know where he gets it. There's nobody like him.

I don't like the implication, all right?

I don't think **** would like that.

I don't think that it's the kind of question that you can ask him.

I don't want it. What am I gonna do with it?

I got a good gift and I'd like to surprise him, if you don't mind.

I got a kid a present. It was a present.

I got in the elevator with Larry David?

I got your results.

I guess it'd be kind of boring.

I have a sickness in my brain.

I have Parkinson's. I I'm a head shaking fool.

I have to buy two gifts now and take one back?

I just like to see what people look like with Hitler mustaches.

I know. You're right.

I like how the lines just go straight

I love it, I love it, I love it!

I love my sewing machine.

I need five minutes.

I realize that that's illegal in your little world, isn't it?

I think he might be gay.

I think I don't have to explain that a third offense

I think it was an insult

I think the best course is to do some suppositories.

I think the fact that he can sort of sell a song and

I think the shirt's ruined.

I think you shook up that can of soda on purpose.

I think you were pissed off about the Hitler mustache on your father in law.

I think you're upset about the shushing.

I thought I was the sickest guy on this block, but you're the new champ.

I told Fox two months. What are you eating?

I took a bullet for you.

I wanna know if you've fucked up again.

I wanna welcome you all here and thank you for your support

I wasn't mocking you with the violin.

I would kick his butt.

I'd be surprised. Where are you gonna see one of my movies?

I'll be back in two shakes.

I'll buy him a birthday gift. How about that?

I'll get the whole thing straightened out.

I'll tell you what I think. You wanna know what I think, Fox?

I'll tell you what the problem is.

I'm a megillah? Why am I a megillah?

I'm a new yorker!

I'm a new yorker. You can't do that to me.

I'm going home.

I'm just comparing it to other things you can shake up, right?

I'm not gonna lie to you Nobody likes to be shushed.

I'm not gonna stand here

I'm not really surprised, man. He has Parkinson's.

I'm so He's keeping me up Michael J. Fox Every night,

I'm very sympathetic to the Parkinson's!

I've been living here for over a month. I haven't heard any clomping.

I've gotta get rid of this because he's coming over here.

If I could've put French toast

If I go up there, I will kill this motherfucker.

If I went to see one of your movies

If there's anything I can do for you,

If you wanted to, you could come and spend the day with us

In every gift shop in New York City.

In this motherfucker, I would, okay?

In view of the two offenses, that you are on probation.

Is that Parkinson's, hmm?

It could have been a Parkinson's shake.

It makes him really special and unique and different.

It was like 1985 last time I was in a movie.

It was not a performance. I mean, per se.

It's a chalupa inside a burrito

It's a sewing machine!

It's a sewing machine. It's a sewing machine.

It's about the fact that you hit two buttons.

It's all Parkinson's, Larry. It's all Parkinson's.

It's another present for Greg.

It's atmosphere. It's a nice setting.

It's background, so don't get your hopes up too high.

It's beautiful.

It's called dystonia and I have to wear stiff shoes

It's fascinating if it wasn't so fucking tragic.

It's funny you should say that, because there actually is.

It's got the best food in the world and you're eating a chalupa?

It's in my book. It's chapter one. You should read it.

It's just, you know, you hit two floors

It's like the best show ever.

It's not Carnegie Hall. It's just a bar.

It's not fair.

It's not like a big to me that's part of the deal, you know.

It's over. Forget about it. It's just a clean slate.

It's really great to see you.

It's small. We're gonna handle it.

Jeff! Jeff!

Larry brought you something for your birthday.

Larry got you a present to replace the sewing machine.

Larry taught me how to make a swastika.

Larry, let me tell you something.

Larry, that would be so great.

Larry, what are you doing?

Leon! You up?

Let me get that.

Let me make a couple of phone calls.

Let me tell you something. That Tracy

Like any great leader, I responded.

Little kids and shit, old people,

Look at this.

Look who's here. It's Larry.

Maybe it was a Parkinson's shake.

Maybe just say I'm sorry I shushed you.

Meet me in St. Louis, the wizard of oz.

Michael J. Fox about to be Michael J. Fucked up in a minute.

Michael J. Fox? Never in a million years.

Motherfuckers who can't defend themselves, and you

Mr. David, are you aware of the fact

Mr. David, I'd like to ask you

Mr. David, I'm afraid it's the decision of this board,

Mr. David, you're not allowed to play with the buttons on the elevator.

Mr. Fox, is there a problem here?

Mr. Parkinson would be appalled if he knew how Mr. Fox is behaving.

My birthday's coming up in a week, so can you get me one?

My father in law looks like Hitler.

Nah, that's got the ice skating thing.

Nana, Nana!

No sexuality involved unless you get him a harp.

No, but I mean,

No, I'm gonna go with straight Tequila.

No, not inappropriate. He loved the gift.

No, that wasn't Parkinson's. That was just bad timing.

No. He lives right upstairs from me.

No. This has been going on for about 20 years now, Lar.

Nobody understands this.

Now listen, there is a small amount of internal bleeding.

Now you're going to 40 as well. You wanna go to 33, 34?

Of course I'd take a bullet for you.

Of course I'm aware of the Parkinson's.

Of course, what do you

Of the Michael J. Fox foundation for Parkinson's research.

Oh Jesus Christ!

Oh my God, I'm gonna make the gone with the wind costume.

Oh my God. Let me check. What is it?

Oh okay, so that one wasn't Parkin

Oh really? How come I haven't heard the clomping before?

Oh sure. That'd be great.

Oh yeah. Let me tell you something, okay?

Oh, by the way, he likes the sewing He wants to keep it.

Oh, come on. Give me a break.

Oh, he loves his sewing machine.

Oh, hello.

Oh, I was just drawing a Hitler mustache.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, that's called a swastika.

Oh, you don't touch Michael J. Fox.

Oh. Eh, I don't know.

Okay, if I saw one of your movies in 1985,

Okay, sweetie, Nana's waiting for you.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Ooh, what's that right there?

Parkinson's.

Possibly I could No, I can't.

Project Runway.

Putt putt with sick kids, yeah.

Real good. Thanks for the Yankees tickets.

Right? You don't know this motherfucker's skills.

Saying and doing Two different things. I doubt it.

See that fuckin' milk you got in your hand right now?

See ya later.

See you, folks.

Seriously, I'm not thinking straight.

Shaking motherfuckers like that, you know,

She's playing.

Shh! Come on.

Shoved me, okay?

Shoved me. Michael J. Fox

So he's got Parkinson's. Of course it's Parkinson's.

So how long are we gonna be in this town?

So I was telling Jeff that I bought him a violin.

So just to be clear, you're not upset?

So rude. Unbelievable.

So Susie tells me you're quite a piano player.

So...

Some of them even wear masks so they don't get infected.

Supporting us as he has since our inception

Sure you can. Don't worry about it.

Terrific! Now we're going to every floor.

Thank God he didn't hand you his dick.

Thank you, lord? Thank you, Larry.

Thank you, lord.

Thanks.

That guy told you about that?

That I hope you weren't upset about the shushing,

That Michael J. Fox has Parkinson's disease?

That other funders have not addressed.

That sewing machine's gotta go.

That shaking shit might come in handy. I don't fuckin' know.

That's a fair fight and shit.

That's a Hitler mustache. That's Hitler hair.

That's all right.

That's perfect.

That's what I think. Huh?

The fashion!

The violin sign, Larry. Come on, please.

Then I get him a present. What's the debate?

There was an inflatable frog that came out of a French restaurant in Vegas.

There's a lot of clomping on the floor.

They should start selling them

This dude is out of fucking control right now.

This guy is trying to put Parkinson's out of business

This is getting into time travel. This is getting weird.

This shit don't go down in a black neighborhood. You know what I mean?

This shit don't happen in a black neighborhood. I'm telling you.

To keep them from cramping.

To me it's a little rude.

To take advantage of the non Parkinson's!

To the Parkinson's charity would probably go a long way

Tomorrow afternoon in our courtyard

Towards resolving this.

Tracy and I are doing this event for the children's hospital.

Uh, I I don't know, Greg. I'll have to think about that.

Uh, is your mom ready?

Uh, yeah, my head shakes, Larry.

Um...

Unless you want to.

Wait a second, Mike. Let me handle this. I'm the mayor.

Was it pissed or Parkinson's? I don't know.

Was that, uh... Parkinson's?

We're probably gonna have a party.

Welcome, designers!

Well, as a matter of fact it is a little bit of an inconvenience, yes.

Well, I got a doctor's appointment this afternoon.

Well, it was a bike technically.

Well, perhaps you could make amends to Mr. Fox.

Well, that's really none of your business.

Well, you're going to prove that point with this challenge.

What a relationship those two have, huh?

What a terrible inconvenience. My God, I'm so sorry.

What do you get a kid like that?

What is going on with him?

What is the matter with you?

What the ?

What the fuck? Lar, what are you doing?

What were you saying about the frog?

What, are you kidding? Without a doubt.

What, are you trying to turn him gay?

What, I gotta get the kid another gift now?

What? Where did you learn about this symbol?

What's going on up here?

What's that?

What's the problem?

When I was coming out of the elevator.

When you realized you'd hit the wrong floor,

Who doesn't know what floor they're getting off on?

Who hated ****.

Why do you have to come here and do that?

Why does she stick her nose into everything?

Why don't you go to 40? There you go.

Why? What do you mean what's going on?

Will mean you will be asked to leave the building.

Would you take a bullet for me?

Yeah yeah, shh. Try and keep it down. She's

Yeah yeah. My feet cramp.

Yeah, but why would he hand me a dick?

Yeah, clap.

Yeah, enjoy that ride up to 44.

Yeah, he's a businessman. He's on businessweek magazine.

Yeah, I don't wanna be surprised, Larry.

Yeah, I know, but still, just try and keep it down.

Yeah, I'm up.

Yeah, it wasn't a Larry's shake.

Yeah, Larry, I'm dead certain.

Yeah, nobody likes to be shushed.

Yeah, okay. Good idea.

Yeah, there'll be games and we'll have lunch.

Yeah, there's no debate whatsoever.

Yeah. Heh hey.

Yeah. I'll box it up. I'll give it back to you.

Yeah. Well, I mean it must be very...

Yes. See that kind of head shake he just gave me?

You can bump into any tenant you want in this building, all right?

You can leave now, Larry. Get the fuck out!

You don't get them sick, they don't get you sick.

You don't know where I'm going. I'm in a little bit of a rush.

You don't think I can get the better of him in a fight?

You don't wanna even touch that.

You give a seven year old kid

You hand that man a carton of fuckin' milk Guess what.

You have a sickness in your mind.

You haven't lived here. You've lived in California.

You just let me know.

You know he has a condition.

You know, challenging to have a son like that.

You know, his being so...

You know, I mean, the thing is

You know, I really owe you an apology.

You know, I signed up for single motherhood.

You know, shook your head.

You live downstairs. You got the place downstairs.

You make such a big megillah over everything.

You mean because it's one flight now

You need me to call the police?

You realize that might've been the dumbest move you could have possibly done?

You think he would like what he's seeing here?

You think Mr. Parkinson, the first guy who had Parkinson's

You think this is an appropriate symbol

You touch him again, me and you got a problem.

You two face off That's just even Steven.

You wanna keep away from the flute, I think.

You were looking at me and you kind of,

You will be creating a party worthy look out of burlap...

You wouldn't like it if I was talking.

You'd better go up there and handle this fuckin' guy.

You'd better hound this dude, man.

You're getting one of those foofy drinks, right?

You're kidding! What the hell is he doing on the cover of a magazine?

You're welcome to come. Probably just like a little family thing.

You've heard the expression she'd even look great in a potato sack?

Your feet are cramping? Is this a new thing?

31 I think I'll get out here and take the stairs.

...When you guys leave a room? What do they say?

A bad man? A very bad man.

A musical instrument. Oh, that's not bad.

A sewing machine? Yeah. He loved it.

A slinky's always A slinky?

A swastika? Yeah.

All right, there you go. Hello?

All right. Right?

And I made something for you, Susie. You made something for me?

And if he sees this... I'm sorry again.

And she's a musician. Yeah, so duh.

And there's putt putt golf and Putt putt with sick kids?

Anytime, man. I really appreciate it.

Anytime. See you around.

at the hospital with the kids. Ah, with the kids.

Bad timing? Yeah.

Before I go much further... Ah, hey.

Can't get him a football. Why not?

Did you see that? I did see it.

Did you see that? It was Michael J. Fox.

Eh, that's pretty gay. Well, you're handling a ball.

Get out of town. What?

Good show. And what do you like about it?

Greg! He's gonna be so excited.

Guess what. What?

He has Parkinson's disease. I know he has Parkinson's.

He made something for you. What is that, honey?

He shakes. Yeah, you're right.

He was doodling, like, this evil man... Greg.

He's clomping around Here's the deal. Here's the deal.

He's pissed. He's pissed.

Hey, it's Larry. I'm gonna go say hi. Okay.

Hey, John! Hey, Larry.

Hey, Larry. Hey.

Hey, you got to know Greg a little bit. Yeah, I did.

Hey, you know what? What?

Hey. Hey, Lar,

Heya, Greg. Oh, I like your bag.

Hi, sweetie! Hey!

Hi. Good evening.

Hi. My name is Greg.

How about that, huh? I think I wanna go to 36 too.

How about you, Jeff? What?

How are you doing, man? Pretty good. How's it going?

How are you? What What is it?

Huh? Hi, Lar.

I always shake. So you're saying it was a Parkinson's shake.

I am gonna take it up with the board. That's great.

I can't fuckin' sleep like this, man. I know. God!

I gotta say something to him. Oh no.

I have nothing to get him. What about a slinky?

I have to be out of town on Saturday. Really?

I hear we're neighbors now. Yeah.

I know, but it's rude to talk, that's all. Okay, all right.

I made you a pillow sham. A pillow sham?

I mean as an example. What kind of example is that?

I think I'm gonna go to 36 and 37. Good good.

I wanna give you some antibiotics, okay? Antibiotics.

I wanna see this shit. You watch me.

I'd love to. Great, excellent.

I'm I'm Get out of here!

I'm a new yorker! Get the fuck out of here.

I'm hanging on it. Are you?

I'm really glad you're here. I found it really annoying.

I'm running a little late. Okay.

I'm sorry? No no.

If it helps with the sex, of course. It will help with the sex.

Is it? Yes.

It's a good example. Right?

It's a violin. Oh.

It's beautifully wrapped. I heard the voice of the people and,

It's gonna be a fuckin' milkshake. That was not Parkinson's.

It's gonna be great. They love that. This is nice.

It's handling balls. Yes, that's what My point exactly.

It's keeping me up. Oh oh, it's the boots, the boots.

It's not an implication. He's seven.

It's not really about the 12 seconds, is it? What is it?

It's your sewing machine. It's not mine. You know what?

It's your turn. Okay. There you go.

Larry taught you how to make this? No, I was

Larry. Oh, hey.

Let me know how that works out for you. I will. I can't sleep.

Let's not dwell on it. Really?

Look at this. Unbelievable.

Michael? Yeah.

My kids I don't shush my kids. Exactly, exactly, yeah.

My name is Larry. Hi.

My side is just killing me. What a shame.

No flute, no harp. Okay.

No, I don't wanna go. Oh.

No, I think you can handle it. All right.

Oh God, it's terrible. I think you saved her life.

Oh my God. Yes, he started a war.

Oh my God. You made that?

Oh my goodness, look. There you go.

Oh, hey. Hey!

Oh, thank you. You're very welcome.

Oh, you're dating her? Yes. Shh!

Oh! Very good.

Oh. And we're having this event.

Oh. Hi.

Okay. Take good care of her. Bye.

On a pillow sham? I was just doodling.

On my father in law. That's my father in law. That's your father in law?

Poor bastard. Oh jeez.

She owes me. Yeah.

She's gonna give you a bath, okay? Okay.

She's playing. Yeah.

So it's gay. I mean, maybe roller skates?

So this is the way That's what a slinky is, really.

So what are you drawing? Oh, I'm just doodling.

So what did you end up getting Greg? I got him a

So you don't believe me. I'm just not buying it.

So, are you ready? Ready.

Sorry? She's playing. Shh.

Still clomping? Yes. I can't sleep.

Such devotion. It's incredible. Yeah.

Suppositories? They call them bullets.

Take the stairs. Suppose I wanted to go to 40.

Thank you so much. ...Who's with us today,

Thank you, Eddie. Thanks, John. You got it, Mr. Fox.

Thank you, Larry. You're welcome, Greg.

That is great. You like that, huh?

That's an understatement. Aw.

That's not even Steven. That's even fuckin' Steven, Larry.

That's really nice stitching. This kid

That's unbelievable. Can you make it?

The clomping? Parkinson's.

The head shake at the bar? Parkinson's.

The soda? Parkinson's.

They won't let me out of that. Where are you going?

They're infected? Precautions Make sure you don't get sick.

This could get awkward. Oh.

to be petit pointing on Susie, look out!

True love. Yeah.

Wait, you know her? I'm dating her.

Well, he's the fuehrer now. Oh my God, I'm sorry.

Well, see you around the building. I'll talk to you later.

What am I, bullshitting you? I don't know.

What did you get? Very well done.

What do you mean it's just in the background? No, you'll see.

What is it? What is it?

What the hell are you thinking? I was doodling!

what the hell were you thinking? What?

What the hell? You want

What was his name again, Larry? Hitler?

What? I love my sewing machine.

What? It's nothing to worry about.

What's a Hitler? Hitler was a bad man.

What's going You need to take it up with the board.

What's up? Hey. Hey, Mike.

When is it? This Saturday.

Which one? Dorothy.

Why don't I go to 43? I'll go to 40. I'll go to 42.

Will you give the kid the fucking violin? I'll be happy to.

With Parkinson's, right? You just live in a total dick world, don't you?

Would you? Yes.

Wow. All right. Yeah.

wrapped the fuck up. You know, you're in Paris.

Yeah, it's cool, isn't it The fringe? Yeah.

Yeah! I wasn't denigrating I didn't denigrate!

Yeah. Enjoy your ride.

Yeah. He was shaking.

Yeah. So what? Totally inappropriate.

You can take it back. I don't want it in the house. I'm not taking it back.

You do? Yeah. Where is it from?

You got to get him another gift. What am I gonna get him?

you just get off on 31, go up to 32. Oh really?

You know what I'm saying? How is that a fair fight?

You know what people say... What?

You know what? I changed my mind again. I think I'll go to 39.

You like fashion? Yes, I do.

You taught him how to make a swastika? I did not.

You think he would? He just said he would.

You think that's Parkinson's? Shit. Wow.

You wanna go to 40 as well? No, I'm saying what if I did wanna go to 40?

You're gonna be just fine. Great.

You're gonna make the wizard of oz costume? Yes!

You're handling balls. Yeah.

Your mind, it's gone over. Oh, has it?

$10,000.