Angie Tribeca (2016) - Season 1 Edit

A cop's life is at stake here!

A genuine MacGuffin, eh?

A kangaroo with a light switch for a head.

A Manchester United scarf, and this guy.

A Perky Pony? A Kansas City Mudstorm?

A pool house and a house pool.

A real dumb dumb double zero.

A second secret. Exactly.

A smoke screen.

A splinter?

A splinter?!

A v quist never leaves his dummy.

A ventriloquist has been murdered.

A very complicated south Korean military code.

A Vivian Tribeca.

A wedding planner picked up a wedding cake this morning.

A.K.A. The rats who put away the Chimney Sweep Gang.

Aaaaaah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! [Applause]

Aah! God. What's up with these g...

Aah! No, no! Not... not yet! Not...

Aah! Once again, Tribeca,

Aah! You're still here!

Aah. [Sobbing]

About illegal ferret trafficking, would you?

About your recent flight from New York.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Actually, he's a she. You can tell by her teats.

Actually, it's a switcheroo.

Actually, we have had a little breakthrough.

Actually, we just started.

Adios, partner.

Afraid we got a killing spree on our hands.

After that he had no chance.

After that, he said, "are you serious?

After tonight's sold out show...

After what happened to my partner.

Again, Doreen, I'm so sorry,

Ah

Ah, don't beat yourself up.

Ah, god!

Ah, good evening, Detectives!

Ah, good watching out, Tribeca.

Ah, mimosa. Yes, we'll take two, please.

Ah, Scholls, there you are. Marvelous.

Ah, shoot. Dried up.

Ah, there you are, Tribeca. How are you?

Ah, Tribeca, what can I do for you?

Ah, yeah, that. We're done with that.

Ah, yes.

Ah!

Ah! Ha ha! Ha! Geils!

Ah! I got it! I got it!

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. [Chuckles] [Claps]

Ah. Dr. edelweiss.

Aha!

Alan Parsons?! Who?

Alan.

All came together on my end. How did you do?

All due respect, detective, but I'm in charge here!

All due respect, I will never hear what you have to say

All due respect, lieutenant,

All due respect, no one cares about your feelings.

All due respect, Tribeca,

All due respect, you make a horrible first impression.

All in first class.

All in.

All my roommates are about to show up, so I...

All right, but if you share this with a soul,

All right, everybody, look alive.

All right, fine. Forget it.

All right, Geils, get ready for some...

All right, great. Thanks, Stacy.

All right, he knows one thing.

All right, I'll see you tomorrow, partner.

All right, I'll stop over thinking it.

All right, I'm gonna cut into him,

All right, I'm ready.

All right, I'm sorry. I'm just worried.

All right, it's $500 for the first hour.

All right, keep your eye out for anything suspicious.

All right, let's check it out.

All right, let's check the contents of the stomach.

All right, let's do this. [Chuckles]

All right, let's get out of here.

All right, let's see what we got here.

All right, Price, drop the gun.

All right, since you have no ax to grind,

All right, take him down!

All right, Tribeca,

All right, Tribeca, there is another option.

All right, Tribeca. I'ma see what I can do.

All right, we found five Wilson Phillipses

All right, we've got a big job coming up

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Hey.

All right. Let's bring in the whole family.

All the pretty horses are eating purple.

All the way up here, file in please.

All we need to do is to heat this up to 400 degrees.

All: Good day.

All: I get a little twitchy when it comes to weddings.

All: Shh!

All: Shh!

Almond milk? That's a... oh, my god,

Also, amazing breasts.

Also, I'm really worried about Vivian

Also, Lance and I were very close,

Although a brilliant one.

Always!

Am I threatening to take away something you care about?

Amazing.

An extortion plot.

And all of them are outside of America.

And answer some questions about what happened.

And anyone trying to kill someone with a pillow.

And as an added level of security, look at the sign.

And as for your decoy,

And baby wants baba.

And be vulnerable

And bring this kidnapper to justice.

And can I get the can?

And could this be the forgery?

And cut her open.

And do not blow up Detective Geils!

And Doris, human resources.

And every great gym teacher has spent time in prison.

And everyone knew that Humdinger made the best ones.

And feather is Cockney for "knife"?

And for god's sake, tear down the d****ry.

And for the record, I love ferrets.

And go.

And god bless.

And he left me this cool couch.

And he owned the place.

And he vanished under mysterious circumstances.

And he vanished under mysterious circumstances.

And he won ventriloquist of the year last year.

And he's the worst driver of all time.

And here... [Grunts]

And here's my message to the kidnapper.

And his pee pee...

And hopefully catch us the big fish.

And how many did that leave?

And how many were on all three flights?

And I always get what I want.

And I can't be a friend if I break that promise.

And I could stand to make a cool $4,000, you bet.

And I definitely don't want to know

And I especially don't like partners

And I hope you understand, so am I.

And I raise you $40,000.

And I see her every morning.

And I want to have kids with it and grow old with it.

And I'm a rock star!

And I'm gonna shut down this whole operation.

And I've fallen in love with every single one of them.

And I've got stuff going on under my skirt

And I've known you for three weeks.

And I've known you for three weeks.

And I've never lost at poker.

And if it's a ceremony solidifying anything,

And if the pattern holds, he's gonna kill

And if they can't, then we will.

And if we bust Thatcher, Herb will get Hizgoons involved. [His goons]

And if you don't start talking, I promise you...

And if you think I'm gonna back down

And it turns out he owns a boathouse, a house boat,

And it's in terrible condition.

And it's really short.

And Laurie threw me under the bus.

And leave the mostly full can on the cart.

And leave the real police work to us?

And let me guess... One of the names on that list

And Madame Thatcher's whole operation.

And make it snappy!

And members of the clergy.

And more than that, I loved being a ventriloquist's wife.

And my Dollhouse burnt to the ground.

And my parents got me a special present.

And no one thinks twice.

And not a lot of prints or DNA to go on.

And not a moment before.

And now for the traditional destroying of the cake.

And now for the traditional destroying of the gifts.

And now for the traditional Father Daughter waltz.

And now for the traditional hitting of the piñata.

And now he's dead?

And now I'm off to take down Frontbut.

And now to satisfy my crude physical needs.

And once Dr. Scholls gets here, we can begin

And pays cash for the last seat in first class.

And public distrust of chimney sweeps is at an all time high!

And puppy dog tails.

And put him away.

And see if forensics had better luck?

And shoot the forgery?

And shut the whole operation down.

And sleep!

And sleep!

And sleep!

And social security numbers,

And something bad has happened to every single one of them.

And spend time with someone I really care about.

And still didn't find that flash drive.

And still didn't find that flash drive.

And that is something I will not tolerate.

And that means you going undercover as a john.

And that was Carpaccio MacGuffin.

And that's an order.

And that's the guy who started yelling at my kids.

And the b's and the d's, they tell me

And the flipping of the tables.

And the lab technician standing behind it.

And the long hours and the drugs.

And the next murder flight leaves in three hours.

And the next murder flight leaves in three hours.

And the next time you give me excuses about doing my homework...

And the next time you give me excuses about the budget...

And the police drop the whole thing.

And the punching of the guy.

And the tears diluted the paint in the bottom right corner.

And the theft of MacGuffin's "Thumb"?

And the year before.

And then finished him off with a two putt.

And then he poked him. He poked him repeatedly.

And then he stole his glasses.

And then I met you in the academy, and suddenly,

And then I want to be buried next to it

And then moved on to Lance the dummy.

And then the next minute, it's another thing.

And then two years in the kitchen as a dishwasher.

And then went quiet for 30 seconds.

And there's only one woman at the club with those initials...

And they both have alibis.

And they're gonna book you.

And they're on sale.

And this... is my bust.

And those are my handcuffs.

And to catch a big fish, you need the right bait.

And traces of ipratropium bromide...

And was a visiting lecturer

And watch your language in front of my kid.

And we all dye alone hair dye.

And we are confident that we will find Detective Geils

And we could bust the whole thing right now.

And we're a better precinct for it.

And we're getting search warrants for each one,

And we're here to talk to you about what happened

And wearing pajamas with snaps at the bottom.

And what new spin are you gonna put

And when it's too old to remember who I am anymore,

And who is this extra large helping of banana man pie?

And you are...?

And you finish up here?

And you know what the biggest pain in the butt was?

And you see someone in a sweatsuit,

And you worry about getting me a meatball sub.

And you'll get to keep the flashlight.

And your little dummy, too.

And your stupid handwriting.

And, Geils, if you're listening,

And, through the heat, turn it into one piece

And?

Anderson may have had the ferret,

Angelina Trèsbeca!

Angie Tribeca, as I live and breathe.

Angie Tribeca, open this door right now.

Angie Tribeca.

Angie, talk to me.

Angie: Drowning your sorrows?

Angie: We are working very hard.

Another baker killed himself.

Another first class passenger tonight.

Another one of those damn parking garages from the Wayne Tyson Foundation.

Any idea how your cufflink was found inside an illegal ferret?

Any knowledge of you or this assignment.

Any of your pets' names, got it?

Any prints? No, I wiped them all off.

Any tension at home? Debts?

Any warrant or one that's specific to this case?

Anybody else you recognize, ma'am?

Anybody got 12 "C" batteries on 'em?

Anyone I ever get close to...

Anyone who has the $50,000 buy in.

Anything new in the ventriloquist case?

Anything you say will only make me fall more in love with you.

Anyway, I cross checked it with the database.

Apparently, one of your statues was on loan to the museum from...

Apparently, there are photos of his body art,

Apparently, there's someone important

Appears to be dead.

Apples, apples, orchard, farm.

Are gonna have to find someone else in their audience

Are you all right?

Are you aware that someone was murdered on that flight

Are you gonna be comfortable with swinging?

Are you guys looking at me?

Are you guys related?

Are you in or out?

Are you joking?

Are you leaning on the P.A. button?

Are you sure about this?

Are you sure it's okay to talk here?

Are you sure they can't see us?

Are you sure?

Are you talking about Detective Jay Geils?

Aren't you a tall drink of water.

Aren't you his wife, Corrine Abernathy?

Aren't you supposed to be undercover as a call girl?

Armin mist? Almond milk.

Arms up, legs out.

Arthur, intern.

As a matter of fact, this building used to be a ball bearing factory.

As a matter of fact, we did.

As if that weren't bad enough,

As rude as a crocodile with a bellyache.

As soon as the sausage fest is over,

As to why this man was killed

As you can see, I can't exactly shake your hand.

At a quinceañera, where would you be?

At last, someone who knows something about art.

At least order something. I got a whole line here.

At least, that's what she declared.

At me like that, sir.

At the base of that wall, you'll find a stone

At the Olsen Medavoy Gallery.

At this point, I'll take some questions.

At what must be a very difficult time.

Atkins, we made a promise!

Atkins: [Calm, deep voice] 35,000 feet.

Atkins: Go out. Meet someone.

Atkins: Tribeca, Geils! Get out here.

Atkins: Tribeca, get the hell in here!

Atkins: Tribeca, this is Lieutenant Atkins.

Atkins:Tribeca, Geils, my office now!

Atkins! Get down!

Aw. What?

Aww.

Baba.

Babies don't have money, silly mommy.

Baby back ribs?

Baby made a whoopsie.

Baby want baba.

Back of the line.

Bad news, Tribeca.

Baker wants out? Boom... one dead baker.

Bank robbery.

Barnaby Fingers, pickpocket.

Be careful out there, you guys.

Because he was found dead with your balls in his hand.

Because I know your blood pressure's an issue right now.

Because she's really annoying.

Because that's what I do... I leave.

Because these people are a bunch of ungrateful pigs!

Because we arrest people for stealing things.

Bedroom one... nothing.

Before they leave you?

Before we go into this very dangerous situation.

Being with me instead of Tribeca?

Believe me...

Ben, James.

Besides, no one can do what I do.

Bet that made you pretty mad, huh?

Between Led Zeppelin and Night Ranger.

Bigfish!

Bitch! That was a great back and forth, really convincing.

Bless you.

Bloody hell, you got bigger cobblers

Bloody hell, you got bigger cobblers den my skin and blister, mate

Bloody hell.

Boo yah!

Both: "That's what sheep said."

Both: ♪ I want to spoon ♪

Both: ♪ la a a a ♪

Both: I don't want to hear it!

Both: I was engaged to my first partner,

Both: I'm fine by myself. I don't need a relationship.

Both: What, are you some sort of psychic?

Both: You've got some explaining to do.

Bouquet!

Bowling is exercise, and when you form leagues...

Boxer briefs.

Boxers or briefs?

Boy, you don't let anybody in, do you?

Boy, you don't need anybody, do you?

Bring me the can, sky whore.

Brother, I am one hungry, hungry hippo.

Bruv, I's goin' down to da pub with my mates, yeah?

Bummer the robbery went south, huh?

Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup!

But "forsooth, I doth longeth"

But all I could think about was the time I was 7 years old.

But are Detectives Tribeca and Geils...

But between prison overcrowding,

But damn it...

But don't go and do anything stupid.

But don't worry.

But enough is enough.

But first, I want immunity.

But he definitely didn't bring him into the state.

But he lives in Australia.

But he was a real bee in my bonnet.

But he's gone, and you've got a job to do.

But here's my number.

But how about this?

But how? How do we get closer to him?

But I can't be a cop if I don't uphold the law!

But I certainly didn't wish any harm on him.

But I didn't like what it was doing to me.

But I don't have a wedding tomorrow.

But I don't want to be eaten alive, either.

But I feel very disrespected right now.

But I just want to let my guard down

But I know who can.

But I loved my husband.

But I missed it because of you and your stupid coffees

But I think there's one thing you weren't counting on.

But I was vomiting, and I had diarrhea.

But I'm gonna tell you something right now...

But I'm not a murderer.

But I'm... I'm just starting.

But if there's anything you want to tell us,

But if we don't believe it, she won't believe it.

But if word were to get out,

But it is gonna be a hell of a reach.

But it is my life's passion, or as we say in German...

But it turns out that's a big part of it.

But it was just a temporary exhibit on loan

But Jesus Christmas, you're way too crazy to be a cop.

But let me set the record straight.

But let's turn him over.

But look what I found on Lance the dummy.

But maybe we weren't meant to have just one partner.

But my husband just died.

But not to worry... As long as I'm warden here,

But on the upside, I'm a cop, and you're under arrest.

But Randy said that Zaius had the original.

But rest assured, our figure models are treated

But Riley Hale was found dead this morning.

But she doesn't want to recip...

But something tells me he wasn't the mastermind.

But Tanner got the name of a hideout.

But that's no reason to take it out on poor Jay Geils.

But the good thing is...

But the way they get the ice is different.

But then when I take it away,

But there is another name on that list

But there's no weapon

But this one takes the cake.

But to me, it just sounds like a huge pain in the ass.

But we did make out once in high school.

But we need a little money to make it real.

But we need to buy a little time.

But we think it was a human who did it.

But we'll never get to all of them in two hours.

But were there any other women in the picture?

But you can call me Vic Deakins.

But you had the guts to put yourself out there...

But you heard about Tyson, right?

But you need to let Geils go.

But you've got your head up your ass.

But, yes, I suppose so.

But... he lived a long life,

Buy that chimney sweep a pint!

By Alan Parsons.

By baking them into wedding cakes.

By distributing drugs through her wedding cakes.

Cake.

Call forensics. I want them in that hotel room.

Called the "All the Way Inn".

Can I have a hot towel, please?

Can I have a moment of your time?

Can I help you?

Can I help you?

Can I see your badge?

Can we not do this right now?

Can you go grab a froyo? 'Cause we gotta work now.

Can you imagine?

Can you just give us the short version?

Can't we just agree to both be the best,

Can't we just have fun?

Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, Monopoly.

Careful.

Charlie, don't.

Cheers. Girls: Cheers!

Chemicals commonly found in standard inhalers.

Child's play.

Chowder. Anything else?

Clever. I'd like to buy it.

Cloud.

Come here.

Come on in.

Come on in. Come on in, Betts.

Come on, an Italian Long?

Come on, get happy.

Come on! Let's go! Go, go, go!

Come on. Let's get some answers from the lieutenant.

Come on. You like these keys? You like these shiny keys?

Come out of the house with your hands up,

Come to think of it, I have no good reason

Come with me.

Coming right up.

Coming up next, "Silvery Moon" by Unknown.

Coming, Lieutenant.

Commissioner Bigfish, you're under arrest for...

Commissioner Niles J. Bigfish.

Commuting back and forth to New York to see the girlfriend.

Compromising photos.

Computer: What can I do for you, Detectives Tribeca and Julie?

Constantly remind me that I'm never gonna meet anyone.

Cool!

Cool.

Cool. I read a lot about these.

Copy that. Talk to you later.

Copy.

Cory the Carburetor, mechanic.

Could I carry a folder, too?

Could I get two tickets to the show

Could someone please help me up?

Could this be the real "Mona Lisa"

Could you maybe look ahead?

Cover the back!

Cr... I can't even read that.

Crab cake.

Cream filled doughnut?

Crime re creation specialist in the world.

Croissant, it's croissant.

Cuff him.

Customer's answers to their security questions.

Cut that with a knife.

Damn it, I hate you so much.

Damn it!

Damn it!

Damn it! Nothing in the bathroom.

Damn it! That's five banks this month!

Damn it! That's five banks this month!

Damn it.

Damn it. It's clean.

Damn! Sorry. It ran out of juice.

Damn. There's some water on the page.

Danke, Fish and Game.

Danke. Mr. Frontbut.

Day off.

Deep cover

Deep cover.

Deeper than that

Den my skin and blister, mate

Describe his lower back tattoo.

Dick! [Cries]

Did Dr. Zaius give you that black eye, Randy?

Did it bother you?

Did the golf pro's body give us any clues?

Did we catch you off guard?

Did you and Edelweiss get anything from the call?

Did you come up with anything from the passenger manifests?

Did you get a match on that?

Did you guys have a good time

Did you hump a dolphin?

Did you know that all county employees submit a DNA sample

Did you listen to anything I said?

Did you not get the memo?

Did you notice anything unusual?

Did you really just kiss me?

Did you return the flash drive?

Did you want to see me, sir?

Disgusting, dirty tattoos.

Do for fun in this town?

Do have and idea how many vacation days you have saved up?

Do we know how he died?

Do you have a diaper bag or something?

Do you have a sister?

Do you know "Fruit Salad" in "E" minor?

Do you know anything about Dr. Zaius

Do you know how many sweatsuits there are in the world?

Do you love your husband, Mrs. Perry?

Do you mind if we listen to the radio?

Do you need a ride home, Vivian?

Do you really think I would be at my home address?

Do you remember that movie "The Shawshank Redemption"?

Do you remember us from this afternoon?

Do you think he's buckled in okay?

Do you think he's ever gonna make more cake?

Do you think you can help us figure out what happened?

Doctor, this is the blackmail note I was talking to you about.

Doctor.

Doesn't make you a master sausage man.

Doesn't mean we're gonna be best friends forever.

Doesn't that sound fun? Yeah.

Don't be ridiculous.

Don't be ridiculous. I haven't stolen anything.

Don't bluff a bluffer.

Don't even joke about that.

Don't feel bad, Detectives. As we say in Germany...

Don't get all squishy on me.

Don't get all squishy on me.

Don't I recognize you from somewhere?

Don't plan on taking any out of state trips in the near future.

Don't pout.

Don't put your one piece on just yet.

Don't say that!

Don't sweat it, Tribeca. There's nothing wrong

Don't tell me how to do my job!

Don't worry, Detective. As the expression goes,

Don't worry, sir.

Don't worry, we get five more cards.

Don't worry. I have mine.

Don't you think it's a little inappropriate

Don't you think it's odd that a successful wedding planner

Don't you want someone to shower with your love and affection?

Dr

Dr. Allen Feinberg, psychiatrist.

Dr. Edelweiss will be able to tell us

Dr. Edelweiss?

Dr. Edelweiss?

Dr. Hook, can you please show us

Dr. Scholls,

Dr. scholls: Interesting.

Dr. Scholls: It's Monica Scholls.

Dr. Scholls: We got two bodies a big one and a small one.

Dried up. Sorry. [Chuckles]

Drop the guns and back away slowly!

Drug cake.

Drugs.

Dude, you got this.

Dumb [Bleep] [Bleep]

Dumb [Bleep] [Bleep]

During the robbery, they stole something

Easy there, Commissioner. You don't have to do this.

Easy! Easy. Ow.

Eddie Wheels, driver.

Edelweiss: Ah, Detectives. I'll be right with you.

Eleanor Roosevelt.

Enjoy the ride, and watch out for the murderer.

Enjoy your investigation.

Enlarge.

Enough!

Eric Stephens? L.A.P.D.

Es ist eine arbeit der liebe!

Es war ein vergnugen, mit ihnen zu spielen!

Especially mildly offensive tattoos or bad joke tattoos.

Especially to a police officer,

Even worse than that,

Every over dramatic memory, every clumsy metaphor,

Every time you walk down the street,

Everybody get out of here. Save yourself.

Everyone freeze!

Everyone has a tell.

Everyone likes Italian. Yes?

Everyone says you're supposed to have kids,

Everything you'll need to start your new life.

Eww! Yucky!

Exactly how the golf pro murder occurred?

Exactly, Tribeca. They are both forgeries.

Exactly.

Exactly. And you know what Lewis Lipsey has. [Loose lips he has]

Exactly. As you can see, no tears.

Exactly. Not even this conversation.

Except for the fact

Except for this one, of course,

Except I wasn't a gym teacher yet.

Exchange them for cash, and then I'm going to continue

Excuse me, ladies, do you mind if we play through?

Excuse me, ma'am. Are you gonna pay for that?

Excuse me, we're looking for Gordon Manhattan.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Copy that.

Excuse me. Do you know where the art school is?

Excuse me. I'm having chest pains.

Excuse my language,

Exposing all the secrets of ventriloquism... mm.

Eyes open, no cock ups.

F.B.

Fair enough

Family heirlooms, two jet skis, and a dining room set.

Faster than that.

Feb Ru tober, Irish center, the Bronx.

Feel a little funny talking about stuff in front of your kid.

Female voice: Playing James Taylor, "You've Got A Friend."

Figure out what the hell is going on.

Find out where it's been, and possibly,

Finding everything all right?

Fine, just a coffee.

Fine, lamereau, you can go.

Fine!

Fine.

Fine. Fine. He's not my lover.

Fire!

First, change diapey.

Fish and Game Division, rodent task force.

Fisher Price.

Fisher Price.

Fisher Price.

Fisher Price.

Fisher Price.

Fisher Price. Hey, guys, let's go.

Fisher Price. My hero.

Flibbity flaxon!

Flying solo, airplane style food for one.

Follow me right this way. Everyone this way.

Follow my lead.

Follow the bouncing ball. Which is it?

For a month and a half,

For a ventriloquist to get a splinter.

For a wedding, I'm guessing.

For capturing atoms with these light beams.

For god's sakes, Philip!

For robust and healthy brood of mine own."

For stealing my heart.

For the all American bomb company.

For the first hour, you...

For the murder of Riley Hale.

For the record, I just asked if you'd ever been to Edmonton.

For the record, I just asked you to roll the window down.

For your own safety, the department will disavow

For your psychological evaluations.

Forks!

Former Cabinet Member Stephen Chu won a Nobel prize

Fought bravely with the all black brigade in Italy...

Found her lying here next to this bag of groceries.

Found it!

Frankie Four Eyes, surveillance

Fray zumple.

Freddy Pecs, the muscle.

Freeze, Vivian!

Freeze!

Freeze!

From an antiquities dealer, a Dr. Zaius.

From Randy Zaius' apartment.

From the age of enlightenment?