Scrubs - Season 5 Edit

A best friend stuck in a crappy job...

A certain Dr. Barbie no longer exists for me,

A cocky black doctor with a white doctor following him

A cure for cancer, teaching dogs to talk,

A family, people!

A friend dropped me off.

A girl like Elliot could never really be into somebody like you.

A good one does. Here's the plan.

A guy you essentially gave a death sentence to...

A hug takes seven seconds?

A hundred million dollars?

A husband has ever pulled for his wife,

A little late!

A little loose, but I'll get used to it.

A new van, huh?

A paralysis so severe he could only communicate

A patient in your condition can suffer from a major case of deadness.

A penny and...

A penny...

A phrase made famous, I believe, by an old fisherman who would stay out fishing

A representation of how alcohol affects different ages.

A small one pump mocha?

A tube that holds arteries open.

A Tuesday lunch date at the market, he is so not into her.

A whole week of sleep. You'll have some killer bed head.

Abort the babies!

Abort the plan! Abort the surprise!

About all the big and tiny things that matter most to me,

About how pride defines who we are.

About the recent sexual harassment complaints

About what I had planned to say in my speech.

About your pregnancy andlor any baby related issues.

Abraham Lincoln is your president crush

Absolutely!

Absolutely.

Acceptance!

Actually, he just turned out to be an orderly

Actually, I am sneaking trays out of the cafeteria. I'm building a shed

Actually, I am.

Actually, I have done that.

Actually, I ran there in a foam needle suit, but you don't care.

Actually, I think I'm going to let Dr. Norman here

Actually, I'm pro choice.

Actually, J.D.'s been living here secretly.

Actually, sir, I was on my way to cover Mr. Foster,

Actually, that's a pre existing condition.

Actually, that's my fault.

Actually, there was.

Actually, this is a support group for the terminally ill.

Actually, yes.

Admit it, we doinked.

Admittedly, it was more like work after that.

After a day like today, there's really only one thing you can do...

After all these years, he's finally made us a team

After all, people get pretty sensitive about religion.

After all, the truth can reveal the ugliest part of people.

After college I went to China. Did all the touristy things.

After five years,

After that, he started acting out.

After the accidental death of three of his patients.

Again. Do it with some force.

Ah ah, b b but, mm mmm.

Ah, get in there and take your pants off.

Ah, what the hell.

Ah, who am I kidding? You don't care what anybody thinks.

Ah, yes.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Ah! Oh!

Ah! That's your dad. How did you get this number?

Ah. Coolio!

Ah. There we go. Fair and square. Face jock stays.

Ah. Two and a half years away from chest hands.

Ah..

Ahh, checking Mr. Countertop's heart rate

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh.

Ahh.

Ahh. Ooh.

Aid recovery, or help patients deal with pain. You are married.

Alberto.

All because of couples' night.

All clear to the left, all clear to the right. You can do this.

All day sucker, my ass. Try 20 minutes.

All he said was...

All I can think about is getting my test results.

All I need right now is a sip of your coffee to make me feel warm in my belly.

All I think is that leather never goes out of style,

All I'm saying is it's important to go the extra mile with patients.

All of us laughing at him in his frilly little baptism dress.

All of you, go work

All right

All right, all right. OK.

All right, buddy. Today's the day.

All right, ease it in. Ease it in.

All right, Elliot, begin.

All right, everybody.

All right, fellas. Two quick announcements.

All right, fine, Elliot. You wanna know why? You're just like me.

All right, gather around. Here we go.

All right, get this over with. I need a nap. I've been exhausted all week.

All right, I just took the pregnancy test. Just tell me when a minute's up.

All right, Jake, here it is, the latest Vengeance.

All right, Kim's right there. We spent all morning crafting a line

All right, Lester, we're having this out right here, right now!

All right, listen up and listen good. I will kill anyone who tells Carla.

All right, listen. If Mr. Burton wants surgery, call me on my cellie.

All right, look.

All right, look. I know I said I wanted to go by myself to get tested today.

All right, now repeat after me:

All right, people, listen up.

All right, slugger.

All right, team, let's stay close. Come on.

All right, there's only one problem with this.

All right, we will. Newbie... go.

All right! [chuckles]

All right? Very, very sad. Yes?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Before Carla arrives,

All right. Here we go. See you in a couple days.

All right. Here's how it's going to work, people.

All right. I've made a little tweak to the schedule.

All right. If you found someone who makes you happy by just sitting around

All right. If you like him, I like him.

All right. The real reason that I brought Mr. Joy up here

All righty. Somebody's a stud. We got a stud alert in here!

All the best.

All the guys liked her.

All the petty little arguments fade away.

All the petty little arguments fade away.

All the women liked her.

All this baby stuff, I feel like she rushed me into it.

All you had was a little round ligament pain. It's common.

Allow me to demonstrate. May I borrow your pen?

Allow me to paint you a picture with my imagination brush. OK?

Already bored.

Also little furniture. Don't know where he got that.

Also, my sister was carried off by a giant bird

Although the lettering is darling. Have you ever done calligraphy?

Always pass, sir.

Alzheimer's patient, likes to tackle people?

Am I allowed back in the men's locker room?

Amen to that, C Bear.

An hour ago he wasn't our new gay best friend.

Anastasia?

And a lawyer on retainer for when you kill a prostitute.

And a round of the game he likes to call Watch Her Leave.

And a wife.

And about as effective as fairy dust.

And an unopened pack of Les Mis trading cards.

And anyone waking up that way would let out a pleasure moan.

And are they both trying not to laugh at the word "duty"?

And as always...

And asking her for forgiveness.

And Barbie, say, if it's cold in there, you can just borrow my lab coat.

And beating yourself up isn't going to help anyone.

And because I'm the senior bartender at KJ's,

And because of it, three patients died.

And bless Hedrick, he didn't say it.

And break them if you want to, Bob, but I am officially O U T out.

And break.

And build a deck on it.

And can somebody please bring me a glass of water?

And Carla had to believe that I was truly surprised.

And Carla's going on and on about her cervical mucus...

And certainly not for the next five or ten years.

And come out still standing.

And come out the other side the same mean spirited jerk.

And consequently,

And convert to Keith stianity. And FYI, I still want my pen back.

And do everything we can to make sure you don't need a liver transplant, OK?

And do you know how quickly infection spreads in a hospital?

And does embarrassing dances at cookouts.

And donate his heart gets to assist in the transplant.

And eating a corn muffin.

And Elliot, if you see Carla, don't get emotional.

And ended with us going to the arcade to, and I quote,

And even more ironic was that it looked like she had.

And even that took a while.

And every doctor knows that's code for "I'm ready to die."

And every patient in this dump

And every time we sit at the kitchen table, I feel like someone's missing.

And every time we sit at the kitchen table, I feel like someone's missing.

And finally, Dr. Kelso's 9am wrong shoulder tap

And for dessert you're gonna get a little Whitney...

And for Dr. Cox and me.

And for God sakes, will somebody wake up Gloria?

And for God's sake, will you be a man?!

And found it to be just a darn good read.

And FYI, Tina, the tiny brunette, just got dumped,

And get me a coffee and bring it to the hospital. Run, like a bunny.

And get me a donor update.

And ginger ale.

And give him the present I've been holding for him.

And giving instructions to my pool boy.

And got Perry that promotion? Yeah.

And guess what?

And guess what?

And guilted him into getting me an interview. [shudders]

And he didn't find anything. And I am a great doctor...

And he gave you this dance.

And he gets the most interesting cases. Who wants 20 bucks?

And he has a new gimp named Barry.

And he was in too much pain to get up and use the bathroom,

And he was on an IV, so he couldn't have gotten very far.

And he'd never pass on risky surgery to keep his stats up.

And he's gone.

And he's here to remove your goatee.

And here comes the gratitude, the two words every doctor lives to hear.

And here I am again.

And here's the exciting news: I'm pretty sure it was one of you.

And high blood pressure simultaneously?

And holding hands, then eventually all that other stuff won't matter.

And hope I'd eventually get back home.

And hopefully, admitting this to you will make you feel...

And how badly I wanted you to be there.

And how does that makes me feel? Keith!

And I am physically the closest doctor to him,

And I believed them.

And I bet it's because you sensed my hesitance.

And I bowled a gentleman's 40.

And I can promise you it will never happen again.

And I can see Angie having your curly hair.

And I cannot find any medical reason for your pain.

And I certainly hope the next time you fall ill, you'll remember us.

And I don't think I can go over there.

And I don't think we have any more wine.

And I don't want to rush things, but I feel good about this.

And I find out that I missed my window to have a kid I'll never forgive myself.

And I got to tell you, man, I mean...

And I just want you to know

And I knew he was right...

And I knew she was out there.

And I knew that Dr. Cox needed me the exact same way

And I know I came to the vending machine,

And I know she loves sweets, so take the pill, put it in some raspberry jam,

And I know what you're thinking, Dorothy.

And I like to prime the pump by watching the young men sweat.

And I love that you're calling me J.D.

And I need to tell the gentleman he has fluid in his lungs.

And I need you to suck it.

And I pick off one of the smaller ones that comes by for a look see.

And I pretend you're someone else.

And I quote, "spending $20,000 we don't have on shoes,"

And I say that knowing full well you feel the same way about me.

And I shank it wide left.

And I take a couple of seconds to get to know my patients.

And I thought maybe you were a little bit Ionely.

And I told you I never get dizzy.

And I told you what happened last week

And I want to get up there and stop it. You know what I'm talking about!

And I want to warn you, I write my sad faces pretty darn sad.

And I wanted to smush his face.

And I was sneaking out in my undies

And I wasn't the only one.

And I will be needing a volunteer to greet our donors

And I will see you, my friend, later.

And I'm guessing that's because you're careful not to rub anyone the wrong way.

And I'm just not real big on kissing guys.

And I'm not going to lie to you, Jackie, it gets old.

And I'm not really sure that I can fly out and make it.

And I'm pretty sure I just soiled myself.

And I've combined them into something even better.

And I've decided to give old Jim that new MRI machine.

And I've hated sports since I was a kid.

And if he were to drop dead on her operating table, well,

And if it's a boy, say hello to Fu Kwon. What's up!

And if you keep money in a pickle jar, you should know how much is there,

And if you're wondering, Sanchez tasted like chicken. I ate him.

And instead, simply concede that Mrs. Wilk is my patient

And it was really nice.

And it will trigger a nurturing impulse inside him that we sensies can't resist.

And it won't hurt to buy your invalid wife something nice

And Jordan's whispering sweet nothings to a shower nozzle.

And just exactly where was the poke?

And just like that, you have a patient in trouble.

And like a squirrel, you must gather up these acorns of kind words

And like that, I felt like all was right with the couples in the world.

And like that, I was in.

And look around?

And looking at him like he's in love?

And men can make babies.

And Mr. Wilder is turfed to Psych. He thinks he's Flo from Alice.

And not just now, but forever. OK? Are we clear on that?

And now it's in my head forever.

And now that you have let a "yes" spread out into the world,

And occasionally, on a Friday night, when I'm too tired to go out,

And of course I love it. I made it.

And one, two, three!

And only one thing could upset this delicate balance.

And only you could go through all that stuff you did

And our passion is so loud that they can hear it all the way in the distillery.

And P.S., Mr. Jenkins is a Vietnam vet.

And penciled in for never. How does that feel? Does it sting?

And pillows will keep my vagina angled so the semen pools against my cervix.

And pinkie swear your diet will start tomorrow?

And pretend to be a street walker.

And quite frankly, I always thought they should change "Colored People"

And remember that when we win, we win as a family.

And right then, I knew this was the start of something important.

And rub it on wherever it hurts.

And satisfying women. 'Cause I know how to satisfy a woman, right, baby?

And secondly, Harvey, no matter how drunk you get, I like to sleep alone.

And secondly, I'm the attending, so tough tuchus.

And she hadn't seen her shrink in a while.

And she's looking for rebound sex.

And shut my eyes so tight and then do you.

And smells like an obese man's two sie.

And so begins another round of "Who Had the Worse Dad?"

And some kid asked me if I was lost.

And somehow relay all of that into his tiny peanut brain.

And someone was boxing me out.

And sometimes, when I'm reading my pregnancy book,

And started dancing for Japanese businessmen.

And stay away from my J.D. Wigs!

And stop being that guy.

And take care of that hernia?

And tell him or her you're mine this weekend.

And tell me this: Who made them?

And thank God I'm alive. I'd hug you, but I...

And that hunch paid off because, if I hadn't found that blocked artery,

And that is the father of my fake baby.

And that meant one thing:

And that surgery was unnecessarily invasive

And that time Wayne Gretzky said, "What's up" to me in line at the bank,

And that you're very sensitive about your... doughy physique.

And that, while we are both attendings, we are in no way equals.

And that! And that!

And that! And that!

And that's OK, you know?

And that's why I strapped my video camera to my head.

And the attic upstairs has a lot of fiberglass in it, so a little hat.

And the category is... ding!

And the double European air kiss.

And the healthiest thing for us to do right now,

And the only job I can get is working at this free clinic

And the only way to gently break that to my brother was this:

And the pant pockets are extra deep, which is perfect for storing makeup.

And the reason that she's not going to do it

And the termination of the hospital's "Convicts to Cooks" program.

And the whole hospital had that end of the year smell.

And then a handshake.

And then bam, he stuck me with Ted.

And then finally, he squeezes out one single... tear.

And then it happened.

And then it occurred to me.

And then Mr. Dennison.

And then she developed a..

And then there was Dr. Cox's guy, Dave Bradford.

And then there was this weird little awkward pause, so I said,

And then Turk said what every surgeon says when he's not sure what to do.

And then what happened, Dr. Dorian?

And then what happened?

And then you made fun of his kid.

And then, you know..

And there it was

And there it was.

And there it was.

And these guys volunteered to do shifts at the clinic,

And these, my friend, are all characteristics of white guys.

And they can go to a kennel and pick out another one.

And they're kinda like my children.

And think about what you did.

And three.

And Turk and Carla are trying to make a baby.

And two, no talking while my boys are straddling chrome.

And two, whether some relationships were beyond repair.

And upsie daisy.

And use some form of the word "die."

And vagina is...

And was caught banging one of those naked people that brought us corn.

And watch you guys suffer through the hellish

And watching you on the security cameras.

And we both know how you're protecting yourself there.

And we hit it off, you know? It started out with some flirting.

And we never spoke about it again.

And we will be back in... two minutes.

And we'll meet right back here at half past impossible. OK?

And we're special. This was special. Thank you.

And went to town on your van.

And what am I supposed to do with that, OK? I'm not a magician.

And what better way to get started than with my new 18 wheeler scooter horn?

And what do families do when one of their own is in trouble?

And what was Mr. Foster doing?

And what's a Buckland?

And when we help a drunk girl home from the bar,

And when you come back, you might get a quick hug...

And when you do, I want it buffed, shined and de nerdified.

And when you go home, where is she?

And who he'd leave behind.

And why are you not giddy with praise like those people?

And with organ transplants, if there's good news for one doctor...

And with... and with two minutes to spare!

And yeah, I know it's been hard,

And yet there's something so accessible about her.

And yet you chose not to tell her she was pregnant.

And yet you chose not to tell her she was pregnant.

And yet, aside from actually seeing you being born

And you are?

And you damn sure act like a black guy.

And you don't even know him.

And you don't have arthritis.

And you don't look creepy or alien like at all.

And you don't mind waiting a little longer for your workout.

And you get credit for it the length of your entire marriage.

And you guys have been together, what, 60 years?

And you guys wanted to encourage him?

And you guys would not believe how hard my man fought for us.

And you had to make a call.

And you haven't given me more than an ounce of that since I started here.

And you know how hard single life can be. Just ask Kim.

And you know it.

And you know what, I liked it when you waved.

And you know, they say it's the safest thing we can do for our baby

And you secretly moving back in here?

And you slept with the beautiful and irreplaceable Amy Carter.

And you still wear your wedding ring.

And you walking past the food cart

And you wanna know something? I'd do it again.

And you will have to treat that Jehovah's Witness.

And you'd try and keep me out.

And you're done.

And you're not going anywhere until we figure it out.

And you're there. Now angry at Kelso.

And you've been making a lot of mistakes lately.

And your required urine sample by tomorrow.

And, Gandharoo, I need you to talk to a young pregnant black girl

And, of course, ring of fire.

And, of course, the ever present possibility

And, sometimes, "I'm sorry" can mean your services are no longer needed.

And, uh, carries you up to the heavens

And, uh, then this giant light

And, um, my brother ate my foot.

And, well, I'm gonna try my hardest to get you in there.

And, yep, there you are.

And... a button

And... black tion.

Angie was perfect. Now nothing seems as good.

Angie, my buddy down in the lab just told me that your urinalysis

Angie's dead?

Angry sex is awesome.

Angry sex is like a drug. I can't stop

Another banner day at Sacred Heart.

Another one. Shoot.

Any idiot could have seen that Jill was in trouble.

Any second now, he's gonna walk through that door, lost in his thoughts.

Any second. Any second now.

Any trained monkey can treat it. Let's see who that monkey's gonna be.

Anybody else who hurts Keith is going to get the same treatment as Lisa.

Anybody got a stapler?

Anybody want a cool prison jumpsuit?

Anyhoo, can someone take Jack for a minute?

Anyhoo, have a good one, Lurch.

Anyhoo, I need somebody to zip out to my house and grab $400.

Anyhoo, we need a speaker and Dr. Cox suggested you'd be the perfect person

Anyone could've thought you were in trouble.

Anyone tries to take those moments away from me, I'll kill them.

Anyone want half a tofu cheese sandwich?

Anyone! Help! I'm melting!

Anyone?

Anything can happen.

Anything you go through, we go through together.

Anytime I talk about a guy, she tells me to marry him

Anytime, buddy. Anytime.

Anyway, anything that you need, you just ask Dr. Cox.

Anyway, Elliot wasn't in the lab.

Anyway, for me to be set up with your niece,

Anyway, I don't know what she expects me to say to you.

Anyway, I guess people can always surprise you.

Anyway, I just invited Paige to come by.

Anyway, I know you lost your computer

Anyway, I need one of you attendings to introduce me at the dinner,

Anyway, I thought I'd come over.

Anyway, I thought I'd come over.

Anyway, I tried to convince myself

Anyway, if you need to talk, just give me a call.

Anyway, it was a pleasure treating you, and...

Anyway, that explains why I went into the room and said...

Anyway, the key is doing something to get noticed.

Anyway, we're alone, you don't speak a word of English,

Anyway, we're discontinuing your fellowship.

Apparently J.D. Told Mr. Ketay I'm throwing a birthday party.

Apparently the terror alert in your armpits has been elevated to orange.

Apparently they had a thing.

Apparently, Seymour was teasing him, so he punched him in the face.

Apparently, the musical he was producing was just a front for a crystal meth lab.

Apparently, they... smoke something out of them.

Apparently, you're not familiar with the John Dorian three tap method.

Are any of the reading materials in there available for us out here?

Are heading out to the lake.

Are notoriously the most unemotional, jockish surgeons of all.

Are the greatest franchise in the history of sports.

Are the greatest franchise in the history of sports.

Are we crazy to be thinking about buying this?

Are you a real doctor or a doctor like Dr Pepper's a doctor?

Are you calling me a bitch?

Are you complaining about getting to have sex?

Are you crazy?

Are you forgetting what happened

Are you getting thicker? You feel a little thicker.

Are you people trained killers? Say something, Keith!

Are you ready to run the extra mile?

Are you responsible for this?

Are you saying I have a job?

Are you sure this is the finish line?

Are you trying to tell me that you're not bothered by that?

Aren't you guys embarrassed by our last three staff pictures?

Aren't you the big badass attending?

Arnold Palmer is a golfer.

Around here, everyone has some sort of morning ritual.

Around the rosie

As a matter of fact, I'd... like you to be the boy's godfather.

As a parent, I can read the signs, you know?

As a woman, have you ever noticed how self esteem issues just creep up on you?

As attendings, you are expected to turn in your paperwork

As for me, I caught my culprit because he made the classic mistake

As for me, I was just gonna keep on following that yellow line,

As for me, I was just happy to get some rest.

As her permanent booty call is that if he's had a few beers,

As I lie in bed each morning and ask myself

As I'd be sent straight to hell, which, I imagine is a lot like Acapulco,

As long as I had Elliot and her ridiculously strong thighs beneath me.

As long as you have a group of friends around to go through it all with you.

As long as you're not my brother.

As long as you're not my brother.

As long you're with me, they'll find this funny.

As part of your treatment, I'm asking you to masturbate five times a week.

As physicians, we knew just how to decide who should do it

As soon as you take your eyes off 'em, you lose 'em.

As surgeons, we're constantly opening people up and looking around.

As the father of a son who not only wrote a musical based on my life

As the hospital's new mascot,

As you know, I can't make a decision without your help, so here goes.

As you run away from the Kwans' apartment?

Ask for a new label maker in the pharmacy.

Ask for some of J.D.'s.

Ask him if he remembers me from my pelvic exam!

Ask if she's been tested. Why are these thoughts popping into my head?

Asking Dr. Cox to lunch.

Asking them awkward questions to rule out the possibility of child abuse.

At a comic book store a mile and a half away. Here you go.

At a hospital where you don't actually work! And you?

At curing this guy,

At first he was a little emotional, but by the end of it,

At first, he was inconsolably sad.

At her age, there's always a good chance she'll never wake up.

At least he's using good beans

At least you've stopped crying.

At my son's big gay wedding.

At that second, a hawk flies in,

At the baptism I'll be there to keep Paige company.

At the bar we can hang out all we want.

At the end of each day, I will either write a smiley face or a sad face

At the hospital.

At the milk shake pool on the lesbian cloud.

At this clinic, I practice medicine for people who really need me.

At which point I will be leaving and meeting with my ex wife

At work, Keith.

At your Super Bowl party,

Attempt the casual side switch.

Attendings switch schedules all the time.

Attention, surgical residents still hoping to have a job next year.

Aw, screw it!

Aw, thanks, sweetie.

Aw! See? This is why I hate cancer.

Awesome!

Awesome.

Awesome. Every intern wanted this case.

Awful.

Awful. Awful!

Aww, either your picture didn't come out, or we're full of vampire doctors.

Babe, I borrowed your backpack this morning and my change fell out.

Babe, I'm sorry.

Baby, all I'm saying is, in some European countries,

Baby, baby, it's me! But I do love that you go to that big and black stuff.

Baby, check it out.

Baby, I don't have a damn cervix! And how else am I supposed to exercise?

Baby, I know you hate my cool walking stick,

Baby, I'm a man.

Baby, I'm not carrying 'em to the car.

Baby, look at this! I'm starting to look like a big fat pregnant lady.

Baby, that is some God awful dirty talk.

Baby, that sounds like a compliment to me. Maybe you're just a little hormonal.

Baby, wait!

Baby, what are you doing here?

Baby, you are mad.

Baby, you know what I miss?

Baby, you OK?

Baby, you're not really bothered by what Dr. Cox said, are you?

Baby. Oh, I want to do it right now.

Back in 'Nam, the choppers would hover eight feet above my head, I'd jump in.

Back in olden times, I'd have made a necklace out of your teeth.

Back in your cage, Ted.

Bacon back! Classic!

Bad uterus! Don't do that anymore.

Bald.

Bam!

Bambi, I'm gonna put my e foot up your ass.

Bankfarter's not so bad. It sounds German.

Barbie, check on Mrs. Sykes's ammonia level. She's encephalopathic.

Barbie, please. They're about to show Lindsay's breakfast nook.

Barbie, there you are. Thank God.

Barbie, who hurt you?

Barbie, why did you order this test?

Barbie, why did you order this test? For the love of God,

Barbie, you got massive amounts of doubt,

Basically, we had to put her in a coma.

Basically, when you're in the mood,

Baxter was a good dog.

Be careful in there. They lock it up at three.

Be careful, Keith.

Be honest. I promise, absolutely no ramifications.

Be particularly aware of the blonde talky one.

Be right back.

Because all black people look the same?

Because all that really matters is whether or not America loves it.

Because around here most of them are unpleasant.

Because crazy Jill Tracy lives there.

Because Enid could still fit through that door.

Because even though it's a horrible and sad experience,

Because everybody said, "That's Cox. That's how he operates."

Because everybody's favorite patient, Mrs. Wilk, is going home today.

Because for some reason, I find myself

Because he cried at the end of sex?

Because he likes to call me his "honky Adonis." And that's what friends do.

Because he's got some hospital related business.

Because his friend called shotgun

Because I don't think it's fair to punish a man for making small talk,

Because I had a hunch... and no girlfriend.

Because I knew it would never catch on, no matter how much he wanted it to.

Because I know when Turk's sad, he likes me to come over in my boxers,

Because I opened his chest with a buzz saw.

Because I said I was a fan of Jerome Bettis, whoever the hell that is.

Because I think we both knew that we couldn't change anything.

Because I wanted to make sure that you're as comfortable as possible.

Because I was about to trump Carla's goodbye gift like nobody's business.

Because I'm just a nurse, I can't look after everybody?

Because I'm not doing that.

Because if you do, you might get to rock.

Because in a hospital,

Because it is so very important to me people see me the way they used to.

Because it's casual

Because it's casual

Because it's ludicrous.

Because Keith, Cabbage is an ape enthusiast. Show him a little.

Because Kelso just... he just likes when people say his name.

Because Mr. Burton didn't make it through surgery.

Because Mrs. Wilk didn't choose to have her allergy, so...

Because my clothes were in the dryer.

Because my mommy didn't love me" group?

Because nobody, but nobody, cries like Sammy.

Because of your keen sense of smell.

Because she wears a wedding ring.

Because that is so insensitive, Turk.

Because that would be you, Rex.

Because the Sacred Heart sign I vandalized last night begs to differ.

Because the truth is, when you put stuff in perspective,

Because these two just gave me a big old scoop of the heebies.

Because this lace collar is washing out his face. Terrible.

Because this was going to be the most romantic first date ever.

Because unlike you, I don't hate my wife.

Because we're going to celebrate grown up style.

Because whichever one of us convinces you to pull the plug

Because you definitely got where you are on your own.

Because you dye your mustache blonde doesn't mean it's gone.

Because you never know when it will throw you a curveball.

Because you were too proud to admit you didn't know Jiggly Ball.

Because you were trying to 86 The Dudemeister?

Because, at the end of the day,

Because, you see, at least rocks are useful to society.

Because, you see, at least rocks are useful to society.

Before I flash white with rage and kill someone.

Behind your ear

Being locked up all day makes you appreciate the things that matter.

Being Turk's secret roommate was going great...

Believe that, missy.

Beneath the hospital, are you? I think I saw a manatee.

Besides listening to my Alanis Morissette CD

Besides, you're gonna do the same thing for me some day real soon.

Besides... I am way too excited.

Best thing about a date with J.D., if you're having Chinese and want Mexican,

Bet you don't know how to play Jiggly Ball.

Bethany, focus.

Better? Yes?

Better.

Between male and female genitalia.

Black hand side.

Bleachers!

Bling!

Blueberry cran carrot zucchini poppy seed chocolate chip.

Bob Kelso. How you doing?

Bob, I'm physically touching your arm now.

Bob, just a note about the tapioca. I'm much more partial to flan.

Bob, obviously you read the article.

Bob? I can see you

Bobbo, get on the horn to your cronies at local hospitals

Body could stay home and prepare the feast.

Body, come!

Body! Get her!

Booga booga booga! [Laughs]

Both can be expertly explained by an adenoma causing Cushing's syndrome.

Bottom line: Thinking about knocking up a homeless gal,

Boy, boy, boy, very tall boy.

Boy, sometimes you've just got to love Kelso.

Bradford's electrolyte and fluid balance are stable.

Brain freeze!

Breaststroke five! Maybe later.

Bring it, bitch

Britney Spears having another hit,

Bro? Dude, bros don't even use "bro." You're not as hip as you think you are.

Brookstone. Were you looking for gadgets, sir?

Brr! These gowns do not protect the fellas against a cool breeze, do they?

Bucket of combs!

Buddy, relax. These are my guys, all right?

Bulletproof.

Bummer.

Burt Reynolds is my father.

But a short time after that,

But after watching him get walked on again,

But answer me this one question, will ya, please?

But as always, I don't care.

But as we are surrounded by patients who are clinging to life,

But at least I got to third base with you.

But believe me, I've had my experiences.

But connected enough that if one of these ding dongs kills him,

But darn it all, you've found someone

But Dr. Jarvis here said it'll be all right.

But Dr. Reid is throwing a huge celebration for you later.

But Elliot scares me.

But first I had to visit another patient, Mr. Sutton.

But first, we have to work on this patient.

But have you ever stopped to open yourself up

But he also said that he wished she knew how to ski,

But he won't fit. Anybody know what we should do?

But he's so damn talented.

But hopefully, the duct tape I used to connect my prosthetic arms was.

But I also thought you might enjoy this commemorative Dr. Kelso bobblehead.

But I can tell you that this is normal.

But I decided to stay above the fray. Then I changed my mind.

But I definitely think we put the idea of pregnancy in her head.

But I do now.