Scrubs - Season 9 Edit

A "rezzie"? You also gonna get your drunk on and eat some 'za?

A babymoon is a vacation you and your loved one take

A British tabloid?

A bunch of stupid questions off of a form,

A den I hangout I place where we have dirty sex

A den I hangout I place where we have dirty sex

A drum line in the OR? What?

A few years back, I got a little light headed myself.

A final interview isn't some inconsequential thing

A fond farewell to that skanky blonde heading out the door.

A hat, some ramen and a car battery? Don't you have personal things?

A Japanese Laura Dern. How do you not see that?

A jar of cranberry sauce and some dry stuffing.

A kid stood up to me just the other day,

A knowledge bomb had been dropped on our asses.

A license plate frame

A lot of self destructive stuff.

A lot of time and about seven stitches

A man who unwinds at the end of every single day

A med student can just blow through.

A nice, warm seat for the old timer, huh? Gee, thanks.

A piece of advice,

A present from my unc. The handle's made from elephant tusk.

A quick sidebar, Perry? Can I do the interview

A symbol of your entree into the world of medicine.

A trick candle? I mean, who finds these funny?

A wife cannot hear logic from her husband.

A, your being too attractive to ever be taken seriously as a doctor,

About a pointless tradition brought to you by an empty figurehead

About as ridiculous as your five o'clock shadow.

About being stranded on Lesbian Island.

About doctoring in the Third World called Rebel Without a Co Pay.

About each of my professors, so bring it.

About getting old and losing my independence.

About her condition, but not about what makes her tick.

About how you slept with me? Do you know how embarrassing that is?

About medicine.

About someone, you want them to know you just as you are right now,

About their family members' sacrifice that you found on the Internet.

About this whole "why do you want to be a doctor" thing.

About those silly evaluations.

Acting like you don't need anybody. Yeah.

Actually that's not true. They're hairy. They look like monkey nuts.

Actually, a lot of my best moves I learned from watching you.

Actually, don't ruin it. I'm good either way.

Actually, Drew here was about to assist me with something.

Actually, he hasn't. He's still practicing.

Actually, I just really think he's cute. Can I have him?

Actually, I like homes. I'll allow it. What are you doing?

Actually, I was hoping I could get a little advice.

Actually, I'm helping you.

Actually, I'm here for a medical reason.

Actually, it's a lot harder than I thought and I'm having a really tough time.

Actually, we were just talking about how you told Cole

Addison's Disease! It's Addison's Disease!

After abandoning us and be the leader of our group again?

After our examinations yesterday,

After that baby comes, nothing goes back to normal.

After their loved ones are stripped for parts like a 1998 Mitsubishi Mirage,

After you lived in a gas station bathroom for a month?

Again, really unclear about what my project is.

Ah ha ha.

All done or none done.

All done or none done.

All done, none done. Remember?

All Hot Stuff here did was ask questions off a form.

All I had to do was sew these elbow patches on

All my cutting problems over, no more talking cadavers for me.

All of you remain where you are for a moment.

All old and cute on the outside and horrible and cruel on the inside.

All right then, listen up, murderers

All right, but don't play any jazz while you're having sex

All right, but they're not gonna fall for Rob Schneider again.

All right, class, first order of business is simple. We're gonna take out our...

All right, class, we're looking for evidence of disease or abnormality.

All right, class, you now have 30 seconds

All right, Drew. You're our leader. Let's get this going.

All right, everyone, pay attention, because my spleen is right here.

All right, fall in, losers.

All right, follow me to the ATM. Come on.

All right, I am so excited to see what we've all written about Ben.

All right, I didn't want to play hardball,

All right, I guess it's cool if they come.

All right, I have two minutes. Here's what you should be doing.

All right, I'm in, but you're buying me a magnifying glass.

All right, look, let's just forget about the game.

All right, Lucy Bennett, you're up.

All right, people, let's start on Chapter 10.

All right, people, we'll start with advanced mesothelioma of the lung.

All right, team, this should be fairly straightforward.

All right, then, gutter scum. I just found this cheat sheet.

All right, then. Books down, murderers.

All right, we finally found a signal that works. Jazz hands, love it.

All right, we have five hours to finish this project.

All right, what I want you all to do now, though,

All right, who wants a key to a golf cart?

All right, why does this always have to fall on me? I don't have the plan.

All right, you go first.

All right? You're not gonna have sex for a long, long, long, long time.

All right. As you know, Friday is the annual White Coat Ceremony.

All right. I'm just trying to make it through the day.

All right. Moving on. The nervous system.

All the baby books say we'll be back to our normal sex life in about six weeks.

All the best, Number One.

All the blood and guts, it's like an amazing horror movie.

All the grunting and heavy breathing, and...

All the time I wasted on people who eventually let me down.

All you had to do was write one measly, little line about Ben,

ALL: Recognize!

ALL: We'll be a trio

Along with free room and board to attend to your emotional needs.

Also give you the potential to be a good surgeon.

Also, I've never seen myself naked.

Although it's never that clear with him,

Although J.D. And I did conceive this baby under one.

Although, for some, solitude can be a relief.

Although, if I were you, I'd plan for rain because I'm gonna bring a hose.

Always got the right answer.

Always wear sunscreen, get a full body check up annually

Am I the only one that cares about doing something nice for Ben?

Amen.

Amir, you can't just be grabbing kidneys like that! Bring it back!

An alkie, a sauce monkey, a hooch goblin,

An all expenses paid trip to Hell Week.

An Indian wouldn't wear chaps.

And a chance to listen to you regurgitate some trite quotes

And a few backyard beers last summer,

And a million more that I haven't even thought of yet.

And a stuffed Ollie the Owlcat

And a wife and a son, Eric, who's going to be here tomorrow.

And act like you don't know how pretty you are.

And after I say it, I don't want you to say anything back

And again and again,

And all I get before I disappear forever is a wet, clammy handshake?

And all of a sudden, everything's all good, huh?

And all the pictures you have in here of your friends.

And all these kids obviously look up to you.

And all we do is dance, drink and, uh, swim.

And almost no beard.

And already I was falling back into old rhythms

And although he may be filled with a bubbling rage

And another thing, I do love horses.

And as part of this meaningless charade,

And as sad as that may be for you, this hospital is so brutal

And ask them not to share their notes with you.

And because of that, I don't have to beat myself up over something

And because this is so noble, I'm gonna walk out in dramatic slo mo.

And before you ask, no, I don't know why the bears were on a bus.

And besides, they're on some bike trip around Iceland

And can feel pain, not like this lump of flesh.

And clipping articles to send to my grandchildren.

And coconut because of my new conditioner.

And come up with treatments for each of your fake patients.

And dial the hair gel back. You're not doing the weather on Channel 7.

And do you know why?

And don't touch donuts, they're beacons of light. Or whatever.

And Dr. Cox,

And Dr. Turk told me about your catch with the poisonwood berry burn.

And Drew shot me down.

And dudes who keep laptops on their balls.

And even if you think you're just fine on your own,

And even in the adjusted, Lucy Bennett five strike system

And even more importantly, you will teach them to never,

And even though he can't register any outside stimulus,

And everybody's brilliant.

And five, has weird junk.

And for one second I thought it was a chance

And for that, we thank him.

And get weird with each other?

And go trolling for ladies at the airport bar.

And got a tattoo infection.

And have a reason to actually shave again.

And have you traveled outside the United States

And he became a heroin addict.

And he gave his body so that we could become doctors.

And he has nailed some top shelf international strange.

And he was all like, "Yo, Cole, it's Boots. Let's go to SeaWorld."

And he was an NFL linebacker until he came out the closet.

And he's dead.

And here's the hard part, actually do those things.

And his wanting to help me with surgeries.

And hopefully no one comes along and says what we don't want to hear.

And hordes of pigs feed on the bones of cheating med students.

And I already hate each and every one of you.

And I am going to use gold stars and pony stickers for yours.

And I am not gonna start now because of you.

And I am okay with that, but I need you to be my Micky Dolenz.

And I brought some sensual body chocolate.

And I brought some sensual body chocolate.

And I call her 19 because instead of using your names,

And I couldn't wait to share it with the group.

And I damn sure wouldn't have gotten this terrific screen saver.

And I didn't mean to ruin the babymoon.

And I don't want you to look at me and I don't want it acknowledged at all.

And I don't want you to look at me and I don't want it acknowledged at all.

And I felt it happening again.

And I forget basic...

And I gotta throw you in the microwave and explode you.

And I haven't done that, and I think that's good.

And I just have to say, you have the spirit of a noble warrior,

And I just need a little time to process things,

And I just pictured you as my little sister and I'm starting to lose it.

And I just want people to like me. I'm a fool.

And I just wanted to know if there's anything you wanted us to include.

And I kind of felt connected to him.

And I know I act like an ass sometimes, but I thought you saw through that.

And I know you don't think I have anything left to teach you,

And I mean a splash, of hazelnut, okay? Now get out of here.

And I need you to prepare slides for the immunology exam.

And I never have to buy chocolate bars

And I once made love with tennis great Pete Sampras.

And I pushed away the one person who was here for me.

And I still didn't get chosen as keynote speaker.

And I think I could use that to at least get her top off.

And I thought, why don't you deal with the whiny emotional stuff,

And I threw a blanket over his head and then sat on him.

And I want you to know that you can always count on me to have yours.

And I was gonna go up there and just steal her cake.

And I was just scared

And I wasn't naive, I knew he had a long road ahead,

And I wouldn't make you do cool hip hop handshakes.

And I'll go tell Dr. Cox that I cheated.

And I'll know you have the skills to be a surgeon.

And I'm a strapping drifter looking for a warm meal and some comfort.

And I'm going to e mail the whole class

And I'm going to help my friends.

And I'm going to need that back.

And I'm like, "Later, Tevas." God. Where should I go next?

And I'm never going to leave your side.

And I'm only here to see him put in the ground?

And I'm sorry that I wasn't able to hear you

And I'm sort of in charge of our group's tribute to him.

And I'm this close to cracking this mother wide open.

And I'm tired of him asking me to hook him up with Russell Crowe.

And I've never visited that continent romantically,

And if I had the power to go back in time...

And if you don't want to do it for me, then do it for the cupcakes I'll bring.

And if you find you can't come up with a better answer,

And in case that is still not clear...

And in return, I will let you do that.

And is convinced someone's trying to steal her skin.

And it always ended the same way, with Dr. Cox winning.

And it felt like being in a pinball machine.

And it resulted in me having to watch a four hour video called Boundaries.

And it turns out he was a jerk.

And it's horrible and gross and I hate myself and him.

And it's like I'm teaching Yasir Arafat.

And just hope that you get something back.

And just in case I forget that fact,

And just tell him what you actually think.

And keep you from your true destiny,

And keeping Cole occupied while we did the real work.

And let your sister mess up her own life.

And let's just avoid the thighs. They sort of are like memory foam,

And make four copies.

And make no mistake about it. Early victories are huge.

And my abusive father just to mess with you. That...

And my choice in mentors.

And my head is sweating. But I'll be fine.

And my pregnancy boobs for this one.

And my seats get warm when the sun hits them.

And no one ever saw him again.

And not fight the first year of marriage.

And nothing will knock me off my game.

And now she's gone.

And now, of course, I have young Drew.

And once he's made up his mind about someone,

And one of you is just a big box of failure waiting to be unwrapped.

And out of nowhere, there could come a noise

And people follow.

And please call me back.

And probably the human being I respect least on earth,

And realized that we need to do one last eagle.

And realizing that you didn't spend nearly enough time

And rebuilt it on the med school campus.

And recording their precious memories as they prepare to die.

And remove the fortune from this cookie without breaking it.

And say hello to the Number One shirt.

And saying I'll help them. I can't.

And second of all, a surgeon has to have a delicate touch and steady hand.

And secondly, I love sports.

And set my DVR to record Big Bang Theory.

And seven. That's one good luck kiss for every month you've been in there.

And she was willing to risk death to keep her past from her partner.

And she'll have to dig a little seat.

And since just last week I saw one of our fine janitors eat a piece of chalk,

And since the only thing I hate more than entitled little pukes

And since you don't see yourself as one of the weak ones,

And since, according to you, we're not real friends,

And skip stones until the fireflies tell us it's suppertime.

And smother you with a pillow.

And sneak in a quick workout. Wanna come?

And so, if it's cool with him, I'd like to introduce you all to my boyfriend.

And sometimes being a leader is knowing when to step aside.

And sometimes I get nervous under pressure

And sometimes you're so excited to tell someone your feelings...

And sometimes you're so excited to tell someone your feelings...

And spinal meningitis.

And stay completely lasered in,

And take the shoulder pads out.

And tell me the five lamest people that you see.

And tell those parasites that they have to do it on their own.

And thank you for making Mommy's boobs so much bigger.

And that one's racist.

And that was me, Dr. D.

And that's a special bond, one which I cherish.

And that's nice, so nice.

And the buffalo are roaming

And the cadaver ceremony didn't make the top of the list.

And the good news is that med school gets a lot easier after this.

And the metal handrail in your shower,

And the only reason I teach is so I don't have to be alone in my house.

And the only reason I'm surviving is because of you.

And the professors are like drill sergeants.

And the resort I found is amazing.

And the truth is, there are gonna be many a times

And the whole thing will be over in an hour.

And the winning streak continues! Yes, sir!

And the worst part is I had to stay in that room for 17 horse funerals.

And then 20 years later you find yourself signing a will

And then back into the space every 10 minutes.

And then by week six, we are back to nasty town.

And then crank it back up to 80.

And then go bury one in the quad and draw me up a map,

And then he goes and does this. I mean, what am I supposed to do now?

And then I have to find you and Perry canoodling

And then I thought it was about saving lives,

And then I'd point to that doctor over there and I'd say,

And then I'd show you the nurse that looks like...

And then maybe he can understand you better.

And then on my way home, I got a craving for Cambodian food.

And then ran to see each other!

And then run a simple test called a bronchoscopy.

And then something will snap me out of it,

And then there's the new friends, who make it all a little easier to handle.

And then there's the new friends, who make it all a little easier to handle.

And then you blew him off and mocked him.

And then you persevere.

And then, boom, you turn into this monster

And then, hopefully,

And there always seems to be something standing in your way.

And there was a finger inside of it.

And there's bound to be some barking, right?

And there's that weird role play where you make me pretend I'm black.

And they were touching in the drawer.

And they're publishing class rankings.

And this really feels like more of an outside thing.

And to some extent, the voice of your generation.

And to that end, Johnny Legacy, ulcerative colitis...

And tonight's gonna be awesome.

And tour the country

And Trang absorbed his twin sister in the womb.

And until they fix the hole, I figure this area could kind of be like

And vanilla body wash like nobody's business.

And watching sports, two things you hate.

And we all deserve a second chance.

And we both know how weird these can get.

And we can all get back to normal.

And we did talk to her.

And we just spent hours talking to him.

And we were getting on each other's nerves.

And we wouldn't be able to get through med school

And we're already becoming jaded.

And Wednesday night is pregnancy sex.

And what have you done with Barry Friedman?

And what was the name of the African NBA center

And what's up with you in that video?

And when he gets here, I am going to drain his main vein.

And when I'm with a whore.

And when she got off, she lost most of the skin on her ass.

And when that jar gets nice and full,

And when you go to the beach, stay covered up, unless you're a hottie,

And whether you like it or not, they need me.

And while I sadly acknowledge that heralds the coming apocalypse,

And who wants to do that?

And will you ever forget the excessive production of saliva

And yell at sports figures and reality stars.

And yes, he loves Dane Cook, but none of that matters to me.

And yes, he's probably screwed over every one of you,

And yes, I know that the Gooch is way too attractive for me.

And yes, I know that we've never really been friends.

And yes, I know that's from my hand, not yours.

And you couldn't handle that. What are we going to do about this?

And you didn't just flame out. You like... You went nuclear.

And you didn't take the time to find out anything about her.

And you don't think your amazing new look will take care of that?

And you get a far off look in your eyes when you narrate in your head.

And you had that vein thing popping out the side of your head.

And you haven't moved once, not even to pee?

And you order soup?

And you turned out to be not too horrible a doctor.

And you two are doing something you love to do.

And you were college roommates with Michael Bolton.

And you'll be given your cadavers.

And you're doing it well, really.

And you're the one who's been lying all along.

And your head alone.

And your personal life overlap.

And, Cole, though I've almost reconciled

And, people, I can teach anyone. You just gotta speak English.

ANNOUNCER: Lifetime presents Antonio Sabato Jr. As Alan the drunk.

Antibiotics or vasopressors?

Any cutting of our cadaver yet. Hmm.

Any loose change, automatically mine.

Any of you who left this room during the test, stays.

Any volunteers? Cole, thank you.

Anybody you're in charge of, I'm also in charge of.

Anyhoo, the faculty will be choosing a keynote speaker

Anyone but the board certified doctor?

Anyone?

Anyway, all you need to do is sew one of these bad boys up before me,

Anyway, check it out. Mr. Warshal passed his kidney stone.

Anyway, check it out. Mr. Warshal passed his kidney stone.

Anyway, I got a little bit light headed, and so we're gonna run some tests.

Anyway, I just want to talk about my ranking

Anyway, I love you,

Anyway, it says here that we're delaying surgery

Anyway, the truth is, I can't pick just one reason.

Anyway, they did their charity car wash a little differently.

Apparently, there was water damage in the wall or something.

Appreciate you.

Approprio maximus.

Are a metaphor for the cardiovascular system.

Are rolling through the party. Acoustic set, yo.

Are the same as in this test from three months ago?

Are there any other decisions that you made that I need to know about?

Are those 30 cent hotdogs at the gas station,

Are we locked down to that, or can we keep spitballing here?

Are you building a giant gauze ball?

Are you choosing to smile and ignore the insult

Are you currently taking any medications?

Are you ready? 'Cause this is happening!

Are you really going to blame Drew for that?

Are you sure?

Are you sure? Because we're all signed off on Cole taking the blame.

Are you uncomfortable around lesbians?

Are you... Yo.

Are... Are those wheels?

Aren't those your students in there with Kelso?

Art's been slinging peanuts at the ballpark for 40 years.

As a signal, okay? Now, back to my name.

As a token of my appreciation, I'm gonna come back later

As much as Dr. Cox loved torturing us,

As much as it pains me to admit it, that "bitch" is indeed yours. Well done.

As usual, you are missing the point.

As you know, we are approaching the end of the semester.

As you please.

As your only real friends are a bottle of discount gin

At a moment when I wasn't really sure if I would make it.

At a run down strip mall. You get it.

At first I thought it was to make my family proud,

At least Dr. Cox doesn't make you send a picture of yourself every 10 minutes

At least he doesn't need me to hold his hand

At some point, we'd all been caught between Dr. Mahoney and Dr. Cox,

At work. He'd see me like this and then try and pick me up,

Attention, class. That's awesome!

Aw, schtupes!

Aw.

Awesome.

B, your upsettingly small ears,

Babe, I can read you like the back of a DVD case.

Babe, these wheelie shoes are sick.

Babe, you know girl scrubs make my ass pop.

Babe, you're smothering me.

Baby, what's up? It's 5:30.

Back when a man of my color couldn't be a doctor,

Backed right over him in a mini mall. It was crazy.

Balls.

Bar codes? What the hell is this, a supermarket?

Barry Friedman. Lives in the east dorms.

Baseball statistics, North Dakota high schools,

Be careful, though. I told that to a med student once

Be careful. She's off her meds, has four inch nails,

Be honest.

Beautiful day, huh, Big Per?

Beautiful day, huh, Big Per?

Because believe me, it will never, ever...

Because clearly you are.

Because everyone on my dad's side is a doctor.

Because he appears to be bleeding.

Because here, everyone needs someone to watch their back.

Because I already went through my bald, black dude phase.

Because I don't ever remember holding your smooth little doll hand,

Because I don't want this show to ever end.

Because I have been craving the hell out of Thanksgiving food all week.

Because I invented a new kind of laser.

Because I know it just started out as a hook up.

Because I must gather my fury.

Because I want to try to take care of the whole world.

Because I was finding my feet as a leader.

Because I'd done a bunch of research about Ben's life,

Because if he sees you, he makes you do grunt work.

Because in my fever dream,

Because it's a black man's head on a fake white man's body.

Because it's delicious, but not really so healthy.

Because of the other night when we shared the nachos.

Because the one thing you can never run from is how you really feel.

Because the road sure as hell isn't easy.

Because the surgery is gonna be a breeze,

Because there are a lot of women who get hot for married guys.

Because they are all murderers.

Because this is Ted's night.

Because to call this particular school a craphouse

Because tomorrow night's birthing class,

Because we also said we were gonna be different

Because we've ridden them all these years,

Because when I flunked out of med school before,

Because when I was nine

Because you are gonna drive away that cancer,

Because you are gonna hoot, hoot, hoot...

Because you are so very different from every other couple

Because you are their faculty advisor.

Because you half ass it with your patients.

Because you have murder eyes. But, you, (WHISTLING) go.

Because you're a needy, sad, crazy person

Because you're their faculty student advisor.

Because you're worried about how much weight you're gonna gain?

Because you're worried you're becoming that guy again?

Because, you see, the best thing about letting people know

Before Ben was our homework, he was a real human being with a job

Before we do take a look at that shoulder,

Before you make any decisions,

Being all helpful with that island berry dude.

Ben could have had that tail. He's just not a show off like Ron.

Ben, I am very upset with you. You tricked me.

Ben, I haven't even touched you yet.

Ben's not just a grade to me. He's a person.

Besides, I gotta change this shirt. The neck's choking me.

Besides, I've seen you take blood before, and you suck at it.

Best girl fight I've seen since I paid those two lady janitors to wrestle.

Bet you listen to rap music.

Beth has never known me like this and I don't want her to.

Better recognize!

Better recognize.

Beyond the blind sense of entitlement and complete lack of human empathy,

Black cowboy? Son, what are you doing?

Blondie. Girl blondie. Why do you look so sad?

Bob, she is a hot lesbian.

Boo hoo. It takes me 11 minutes to pee.

Boo!

Boom, looks like the bassist and drummer from Nickelback

Boom!

Boom. Twist.

BOTH: Candy hands.

BOTH: Depending on the weather

BOTH: Fame.

BOTH: He's never going to find me.

BOTH: In the great state of Wyoming

BOTH: It's guy love between two guys

BOTH: To Alabama

Both. Look, I know what people think of me,

Bottom line, touch the cart again and you're going down.

Boy George, if you're right,

Boy George, if you're right,

Breast milk mojitos.

Bring him back to her room.

Broken ribs and a possible ruptured spleen? Was Mr. Evans in an accident?

Brother speaks French! That's a bromance language, y'all!

But also, so skinny.

But are you sure this is okay?

But are you sure you don't want your parents there?

But as much as they do terrify me,

But before I give it to you, I'd like you to make me a promise

But best known from Law & Order: SVU?

But careful walking on the tracks, because there's a Cole train a coming.

But Cole? Really?

But could live out his lifelong dream

But darn it all, I feel alive for the first time,

But don't flex, because it'll knock the wind out of me.

But don't worry, we'll go over all the rules later.

But eventually I come around.

But first you gotta give me what I need.

But for reals, I gotta split.

But he's too cool and aloof.

But here she is, and here you are, and here I am asking you guys

But here's the crazy thing about being a doctor.

But here's the well held secret.

But him in a good mood was utterly terrifying.

But I always tell people that. Makes the white man feel guilty.

But I am having my "lady needs" tended to

But I bet it's like having sex with a waterbed.

But I don't care about that video.

But I don't think I should know that about you.

But I don't wanna wear it. I don't.

But I forgot to account for your interpreter.

But I guess it just seems that way,

But I just need 15 more minutes to see another patient

But I never thought one would save my life.

But I really do want to be a doctor.

But I think they're plotting something big.

But I think we could get arrested.

But I want them to remember me as someone who was nurturing.

But I want to do Italian.

But I was chesty for my age and I had no balance,

But I was thinking, before we start, we'd take a little break.

But I wasn't gonna make a big deal out of it.

But I would never ask you to do that.

But I'm talking about a family trip we took to the '88 Olympics.

But I've already told you what the consequences are

But I've been watching TV for the last 45 minutes.

But I've never had this kind of power before,

But if you come back, I promise I'll treat you better.

But if you don't try to change Dr. Cox's mind about Alan,

But in many less developed parts of the world,

But in our weakest moments, it's all about jealousy.

But in the meantime, I need a surgical consult

But it would be really nice to get away from the nannies.

But it would make me hate myself, like, four notches less

But it would mean a lot to him if you guys were there.

But it's just because I'm a man of honor.

But it's not going so great.

But just a stunningly horrible job, nonetheless.

But just pretend the needle's your buddy

But let me make this very clear, no one leaves until you're all done.

But let's get this party started. I am totally ready to get dirty with you.

But maybe I wanted you to see just how ridiculous you truly are,

But maybe that's how it always is.

But maybe, just maybe...

But mostly like regret.

But mostly to laugh at two desperate guys

But no worries. I'll pick up the slack.

But now I'm a major supporter of your softball team, so we worked that out.

But now, if we meet in the middle,

But please avoid "aggressive shaming," because that's my bread and butter.

But right now, I'm ready for a little Magnum P.I. Crust ash.

But right now, I'm ready for a little Magnum P.I. Crust ash.

But she is not smart enough to be a doctor anymore.

But sometimes it can remind you of a growing frustration.

But sometimes the world just brings things together.

But sometimes you need a little push.

But that...

But that's not going to happen, and here's why.

But the Gooch and I are gonna take some time off and tour the country.

But the hardest thing is when people put their trust in you

But the truth is, I didn't really know Ben.

But theirs were sad. This one's gonna be fun.

But then I realized you just gotta pretend the needle's your friend.

But then I'm going to come back and I'm going to start shadowing you,

But then she takes her glasses off and everyone thinks she's beautiful.

But then you eat after midnight or get some water on you

But there are one or two of you out there who will botch this miserably,

But there is no way that succubus is gonna get my recliner after I die.

But there's someone at the hospital

But this time there appear to be many bees.

But today I think I could really use a hug.

But today was one of those bad choices.

But was it worth it to lose a good friend over?

But we decided as a group that we can live with ourselves.

But we don't want to let this candle go to waste.

But we haven't worked together in over a year.

But we're always gonna inspire each other.

But we're not gonna be like that. We're different.

But when I asked Cole for a donation,

But while I went out of my way to connect with these kids,

But who are you gonna have sex with, then?

But who's that nipping at your heels?

But would it change things at all

But you couldn't hear because you're married to him.

But you just can't help it, 'cause you have to know

But you never asked me that.

But you said this was just a meaningless charade.

But you seem to go out of your way to pick on the weakest kids.

But you weren't ready yet. I had to break you down.

But you'll always carry a piece of me with you. I'll be here and I'll be here.

But you'll be under for the procedure,

But you're gonna find someone else here to ride the eagle with.

But your patients are always gonna be real.

But, hey, good luck. Rooting for you.

But, hey, nobody hustles Bob Kelso out of the champagne room.

By a handsome young stallion.

By doing some Brazilian fight dancing.

By punishing her, I punish myself. Such is life.

By the by, I've got some lady problems, too.

By the end of the week, one of you is going to have a psychotic break.

By the way, I did it all on my own and I didn't need you after all.

By the way, that mistress is now my wife.

By the way, whatever happened to the Janitor?

By treating himself to a delightful garbage bag full of vodka.

By week three, I'll have lost all the baby weight.

Call me crazy, but I think you kids might just make it.

Call you.

Came to get your licks in, huh? I get it. I damn sure deserve it.

Can I ask you a question? Why do white people ruin everything?

Can I get the notes?

Can I get you anything?

Can I hang out with you while you sit with her?

Can we do that again, please? For me, please?

Can we finally talk about the fact that you and Cole are sleeping together?

Can you hand me that bedpan? Thank you.

Can't thank you enough.

Can't wait to see that on the surveillance tape.

Can't you see I'm reading a very important chart here?

Carla, calm down, okay? I don't care what Sheila said.

Carrie? Carrie Scott?

Cast of Twilight is in the quad!

Centerfold, your previous answer was so wrong, it almost became right again.

Chardonn gay, Sauvignon Donk, Teeny Weeny Peni Grigio.

Chardonn gay, Sauvignon Donk, Teeny Weeny Peni Grigio.

Check it out.

Check out his shirt and his callused hands.

Choo choo.

Cindy here's three martinis in, and I'm about to land that marlin.

Class notes. Yep, I got the notes right here.

Clearly, the cart is reacting to an injustice,

Clever. I was just telling Irene here that it looks as though

Close me up! Close me up!

CO X: All right, then, you gaggle of mini murderers,

CO X: Antibiotics first.

CO X: Feel free to start with me.

CO X: I know. It's beautiful.

CO X: Now, to recap,

CO X: Number One, just exactly what in the hell happened?

CO X: Oh.

CO X: Oh.

CO X: Yep. TURK: Man.

CO X: You texted me, "Come and show me your boobs"?

Coach was almost my dad!

COLE AND LUCY: Huh.

Cole didn't have what it takes, all right? We surgeons are an elite crew.

Cole was especially good at it.

Cole, did you know Ben was president

Cole, get back under the horse blanket, please.

Cole, I need the retractor.

Cole, I totally forgot about you. Have you been standing here all day?

Cole, I'm not sure I like what you did.

Cole, not so much.

Cole, silence or punching. You know our deal.

Cole, talking to you. Talking to you.

Cole, what were you doing in the bathroom?

Cole, will you please be my blood buddy for Dr. Cox's exam?

Cole, you don't want to be a surgeon.

Cole, you had skin cancer, like, yesterday.

Cole, you're all up under me. You need to back up, all right?

Cole, you're wearing my scrubs.

COLE: Man, forget that mole. I'm more worried about the pain in my throat.

COLE: Ow!

COLE: What up?

Cole! Horse blanket!

Cole?

Cole.

Cole's been really stepping up, showing some promise.

Cole's supposed to do all the slides. Lucy, where the hell is he?

Come here.

Come here. I can't deal with this year's clump of ugly nerds eyeballing me.

Come on, girl, do it. Make me bleed!

Come on, grab me like a man. Let's do this.

Come on, he wasn't even serious about it. I bet he's already moved on.

Come on, it'll be fun. It'll be like having a really sad pen pal.

Come on, let's go get a beer.

Come on, let's go. We're gonna be late for the White Coat Ceremony.