Spy (2015) Soundboard Edit

A terrorist?

About doing something special for you...

According to Aldo, De Luca spends all night in the casino.

Across the street from De Luca's

Ah!

Aldo, slow down!

All I really want to do is party

All right, Cooper. I've got this under control.

All right. That's enough.

Although I fear I may have become

An awfully big gun for such a little girl.

And do not let De Luca see you

And fuck the CIA, right?

And give you a final "Fuck you

And go back there after the attack.

And I hate to say it, but...

And I really, really need you to hold it together

And I'll grab a bag and pack my things

And I'm following you, following him,

And I'm gonna get that bomb back.

And I'm not one to toot my own horn,

And I've been thinking

And keeps humping and shitting his way

And let's get the fuck out of here

And send you and your boyfriend to heaven.

And spend some of that Mary Kay money.

And take a vow to protect this country..

And that is as sexy as it gets.

And then you'd be standing here

And they're not gonna reimburse you for all that

And transportable nuke is.

And you led him right to it.

Anton is part of my security team, psycho!

Anyway. Call my lawyer.

Are too busy manscaping...

Are you kidding me?

As Deputy Director..

Bad seed rising Ain't no use in lying.

Base out of the hotel,

Be careful, Susan

Because I stole a case of it...

Because Karen Walker sold her the names

Been living in London for the past 10 years

Been seeing you all over the place!

Before anybody found her body

Before this started

Bullshit?

But I have a yacht full of friends waiting for me

But you have a certain..

Can you cut him loose for me?

Can you enhance it? Mm hmm.

Can you get any closer?

Can you imagine me as a spy?

Can't be happening

Carol Jenkins has to get to the airport immediately

Carol Jenkins is a single mother of four..

Causing everybody to get temporary amnesia.

Chew one of these

Ciao!

Come on, Fine. Come on

Come on!

Come. We need to get you to De Luca.

Congratulations.

Darling

De Luca played you, Rayna.

Did I get him?

Do not let Rayna see that woman.

Do we have a record of anyone with that name?

Do you always tear your food up into little pieces?

Do you have anyone on your team..

Do you understand?

Don't be afraid to clean yourself up, Amber.

Don't be downhearted.

Don't you dare! Oh, my God!

Don't, you son of a bitch.

Don't!

Elaine said nothing fancy, so I've gone with earthy

Elaine wanted to know exactly what you were up to..

Everybody you love is not being killed..

Excellent tracking and reporting, madam

Excuse me, do you know

Excuse me, ma'am

Exquisite

Finally, every agent gets a night vision scope...

Fine's POV cam from Boyanov's office?

Ford, if you call me Betty Crocker,

Ford!

Ford!

Fortunately, our analyst Susan Cooper found a lead.

Francis Mays is an unemployed telemarketer

From Beaches.

Fuck you, Sergio. You would never talk to my father like that

Fucking new suit.

Gentlemen, if you would follow me.

Get her! Take me now!

Get out of his way!

Get out of the way! Let me through, I'm sick!

Get the party rockin' Bottles poppin'

Give me a little credit. What do you think I'm gonna do?

Give me some quality time to deal with the fact...

Glad you're still alive, Beverly,

Go get her

God, do you have a better idea?

God. Another one?

Good gravy, Fine.

Great work.

Ha!

Hack into the Rolls' tracking system.

Hang on tight!

He took my picture! He's gonna blow my cover!

He's all yours.

He's like a dog that gets loose from his yard...

Hello. Hello?

Here I come, here I come here I come...

Here I come, here I come here I come...

Here I come, here I come here I come...

Here you go, Miss Walker. Thank you

Here, take those

Hey, Patrick. Yes

Hey!

Hey! Wait, what?

Hoping eventually one day he'll fall in love with you

How the fuck do I get to Italy?

How will I hear your beautiful voice?

I can't get to the wires!

I don't care! Where is Rayna?

I don't even know what that means.

I don't know

I don't know how she ran so fast, particularly with that hair.

I don't know which one, but I definitely felt a hand

I don't know. All my alarm bells are going off with this one.

I don't like this, Fine

I don't think you will.

I don't want your drink.

I failed.

I forgot it on the plane.

I go into the Face Off machine, get a whole new face

I gotta go

I gotta know who she's working for

I have some business to finish there..

I jammed the signal, popped out my lens

I know a great little restaurant right near here.

I know because he keeps trying

I know who all your active agents are

I love this new car smell.

I make cakes. Yes. I see the connection.

I need you to alert CIA and Interpol.

I think it's very brave of you to sacrifice

I think we can probably go back towards...

I think you're getting pinkeye

I understand completely.

I wanna taste the way that you bleed

I was just checking for the consistency

I was on fire.

I will fuck you

I would like to take you to dinner to say thank you.

I wouldn't know. I don't have that problem.

I'd say it was more than worth the wait. Come

I'll take Renaldo to Rome

I'll tell you another thing.

I'm a motherfucking spy!

I'm calling off the deal.

I'm coming, Susan. I'm here!

I'm Fredrick

I'm gonna catch ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya.

I'm gonna give you a warning.

I'm gonna meet them in the fucking middle...

I'm here to take De Luca out

I'm just kind of feeling like a girls' night.

I'm just the same boring person I was before.

I'm no angel There's no stopping me

I'm saving you!

I'm so sorry I shot you.

I'm sorry, but I have to check you in

I'm sorry, that's too much. Okay, that was too much

I'm sorry. I didn't know the police were here.

I'm the person that's gonna cut your dick off

I'm your little heartbreaker Your little earth shaker.

I've been going over your files.

I've got this. I've done this before!

I've pulled shards of glass out of my fucking eye.

I've swallowed enough microchips

If I'm not out in 10 minutes, it's because I won the place

If it'd been a diamond ring or something.

If you ever feel like you have been poisoned...

In order to save this man's life?

In that abortion of a dress..

Is right across the street at 39...

Is this yours?

It is beautiful.

It must weigh 20 pounds at least.

It turns out 50 Cent doesn't have a great sense

It's anyone's guess

It's her stomach.

It's playtime on your face, with your stupid mustache!

It's so me!

Jeez. You had to take me to such a dump?

Jesus, you're intense

Jesus!

Just kind of jump up in the front of your palate..

Just like a woman to wear jewelry into battle.

Keep an eye out for this woman.

Keep it together, Susan, okay?

Knock him out with a hemorrhoid wipe. I don't know!

Let me adjust the angle a little bit.

Little bit.

Lock on coordinates 43.16547..

Look at that. Wow, that's a...

Looks really good

Ma'am. Yes

MAN: Bosoms.

Maybe I match better with, just staying..

Mine would be..

Mmm

Most ominously..

Move!

Move. Move! I got it.

My glutes are really seizing up

My point is that it's highly doubtful

Nancy, do you see that?

Nancy, I got her. Meet me outside.

Nancy, I'm in pursuit of one of the terrorists!

No, hang on, no, because you were

No, I don't.

No, no, no!

No, thank you

No, wait!

No, you don't. It's that bad.

No. Not at all. Let's go

Not again!

Not to give me away, not even you

Now you can wear a cake.

Now, let's go to Budapest. I need a fucking drink.

Now, you must go..

Of a CIA operative setting off a bomb in public...

Oh

Oh, for fuck's sake!

Oh, God

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Tell me that's not De Luca's building?

Oh, my God

Oh, my God

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! That was a good one!

Oh, no, you won't.

Oh, no.

Oh, shit.

Oh, you

Oh! (CHUCKLES)

Oh! Too late

Oh.

Oh. Penny. Morgan

Oh. That's...

Oh..

Oh..

Okay

Okay, enough!

Okay, I'm going offline, Nancy

Okay, thanks, lunch lady

Okay! All right, I got it.

Okay.

Okay. Got it.

Okay. I'm here. I'm here.

On Rayna's location seems a little too easy

One day, lady super spy...

Only if you have boobs.

Ooh

Ooh, that's high!

Ooh. It sounds romantic

Other top agents include

Out of 50 Cent's helicopter!

Out of context, that's...

Overexcited at certain points.

Ow! It's Fredrick

People want my power And they want my station.

Perfect hair. Perfect face

Pilates has been working out for you.

Put it on!

RAYNA: No, they can fly you back later

Rayna's on to our agents and she was gonna

Really look me in the eye.

Really? Well, then, it's okay 'cause I have a plan

Renaldo is a Rolls Royce.

Right to that lawnmower.

Run over there and be like, "Hey, I'm a crazy lady!"

Seriously?

She already works for De Luca so we know something is up.

She couldn't even sell her body

She won't know who we are. She's so full of herself.

She's the one coming to make the bid

Shh!

Shit! People are trying to kill me

Shut up, be quiet

So I don't think it should go inside me...

So there's nothing to worry about.

So you need me, De Luca.

So, do you like to have a look at the wine list?

Someone other than Boyanov knows where that nuke is

Something got fucked up in my eye.

Son of a bee sting

Stay away from me, Ford

Such a gentleman

Susan Cooper. I'm with the CIA

Susan, you heard Elaine

SUSAN: (ON TAPE) Okay, there's a knife rack directly to your right

SUSAN: Holy smokes!

SUSAN: No, I'm not!

Susan! My thighs are on fire!

Susan? Anything.

Susan. Oh, my God! Hi!

Talking in his ear..

Than what my brain will cook up right now

Thank God she's not, huh?

Thank you, ma'am.

Thank you.

Thanks for letting me know

That door behind you right now.

That I was sleeping with the man who killed my father.

That is quite an image to be carrying all over Europe.

That is really super cool! I love that!

That would have been a real mess

That your big fucking plan?

That's clean through

That's getting further from it!

That's quite a tone change, isn't it?

That's the exact same thing.

That's what.

That's who the fuck I am.

That's why Penny Morgan is gonna burn her cat T shirt..

The lead lining is thick as to mask any radiation detection

The moment I saw you standing there

The panel's on the lower left under the steering wheel.

The way she's holding the gun, she's not experienced.

There is a saying about women like you...

There was a 13 year old girl named Carol..

There was a little bit of tongue there

There was this woman who was kicked out of her house..

These people we are dealing with, they like to..

They may have a record of you, too

They seem so glamorous, but..

They switched the bag!

This can't be right!

This girl ain't a good girl no more.

This girl ain't a good girl no more.

This girl ain't a good girl no more.

This girl ain't a good girl no more.

This is just like when I watched myself in a sex tape.

This is. Yes, it is.

To another successful mission.

To close my eyes

To get that bomb onto American soil.

To have told you how he does business.

To keep Fine and me alive.

To tailor these gadgets to you

To tell anybody about what you just saw?

Tonight we gonna turn up till we

Track and report

Turn around

Um...

Um... Yeah. Oh, yeah, sure

Wait for it, Fine. Three...

Walk through fire...

Watch the road!

Watch the road! Oh, my God!

Watch your back.

We are now vermin free.

We can't let Rayna see her...

We done came so far I mean, look where we are

We weren't even talking that loud

We've got a big night ahead of us

Welcome to Lake Balaton

Welcome to Roma!

Well I'm your bad seed rising Ain't no use denying

Well, I would accept that with an open mouth.

Well, there's the ten cats

Well... Oh. That's a...

What are you doing? I'm just tying up my shoelaces.

What do you want from me?

What have they ever done for me?

What the fuck are you doing in here, arsehole?

What the fuck is going on?

What?

What?

When I split you open like a Tauntaun

When I was a little girl growing up in Bulgaria..

When people lied to him

Where are we going?

Wherever that may be.

Which means that De Luca

Why is that so hard to believe?

Why would you do that? I panicked.

With your dick in your hand...

Would be a lot easier if...

Wow

Wow, that is an unsettling amount of hemorrhoid wipes.

Wow. It was like dog fighting

Wow. Oh..

Yeah, we got one coming around the corner, now.

Yeah, who's dominating now?

Yeah? Sunglasses are not a cover, they're an accessory

Yeah? Well, you look like an Ewok died on your head

Yeah.

Yes, I'm aware of that

Yes, it is.

Yes, yes, yes

Yes.

Yes. Yeah. I was just saving it

You are

You can hotwire it

You disappeared for 12 hours

You forgot my name again, didn't you?

You go make some friends, and stop stalking me!

You gonna cry, you little Swiss fucking pussy?

You just blew your cover.

You kidding? I'd love it!

You know what you can do, Rayna?

You know your little girlfriend...

You look like Darth fucking Vader

You look like some old, toothless woman

You may find my smile deceitful.

You may never be as wise as an owl..

You motherfucker!

You must not have known it was me, either.

You really came through.

You remind me of my mother

You should remember it next time you're in a clothing store.

You were just hitting on me

You would currently be crashed in the Alps right now

You're a bit outnumbered here, Miss...

You're a warrior.

You're being very loud

You're getting more action than I have had in days.

You're wearing a loafer. Get over here

You've gotta be kidding! Get off of me!

Your name is Penny Morgan

Your name should be "Mr. Bag o' Dicks"...

Your pants are too slippery!

50, I love you!

(CLICKS) (GASPS)

(GROANS) SUSAN: God! (GROANS)

(GUNSHOT) (GASPS)

(GUNSHOTS) (MAN GROANS)

(SNEEZES) (GUN FIRES)

RAYNA: Amber! BOTH: Yes?

"Hey, terrorists, you better watch out,"

"or I'll make you a chocolate cake."

"Wah

"Well behaved women seldom make history"?

(ALARMS BEEPING)

(BLOWING RASPBERRY)

(CHUCKLES)

(CROWD GASPING)

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(DOG BARKING)

(EARPIECE BEEPING)

(EXHALES SLOWLY)

(EXHALES)

(FINE AND WAITER SPEAKING FRENCH)

(FINE LAUGHS)

(GASPS)

(GROANS)

(GROANS)

(GROANS) Why'd I get rid of my gloves?

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(GUN FIRE)

(GUNSHOT)

(GUNSHOT) Ah!

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS) Soon as I'm back, dinner is on me.

(MAN WHISTLING)

(MAN WOLF WHISTLING)

(NECK CRACKING)

(PANTING) Oh, God. He went into a building.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(RAYNA SCREAMS)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

(SIGHS)

(SIRENS WAILING)

(SIZZLING)

(SOBBING)

(SOFTLY) He's about to die

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(WOMAN SOBBING)

♪ Hey, Bradley! ♪

♪ I still wear a halo, my Lord ♪

♪ Now listen here ♪

♪ Turn up ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm a diva ♪

♪ I'm doing my own thing ♪