A rittle more.
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS AIDS, AIDS
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS AIDS, AIDS
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS
All I can think about is your smile.
All right, just what the hell is this about?
All right, let's make this interesting.
All right, team, that's it. We've got a job to do.
All right.
And everyone is dead from AIDS.
And go.
And I don't want anything to mess it up.
And I don't want the responsibility.
And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get?
And neither have we.
And so
And that's an awful lot, girl And now.
And the terrorists take you prisoner,
Are gathered here in soridarity to cerebrate peace.
Because I can't go through losing somebody again. It's too painful.
Because it's firring my body With rage
Because you thought I wanted you to perform oral sex on me.
Buck o five.
Buck o five.
But nobody else seems to rearise it.
Carson!
Chris, come in.
Christ!
Come on, everybody We got quilting to do.
Coming again to save The motherfucking day, yeah.
Coming again to save The motherfucking day, yeah.
Damn, I missed him.
Don't you understand? Every country in the world is in danger.
Every single day.
Everyone has AIDS My grandma and my dog Ole Blue.
Everyone has AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS.
Everyone screamed, and Tommy jumped in after me,
Forgetting that he had blueberries in his front pocket.
Freedom is the only way, yeah.
Freedom isn't free.
Freedom isn't free.
From just a beginner to a pro.
Fuck, yeah.
Fucking die!
Gary, this is Lisa. She specializes in how the terrorists think.
Gary?
Get him off! Get this thing off of me! Gary!
Get out of here. We have put out a jihad on the infidels
Get out of the street, you fucking bum!
God damn it, how many times do I have to tell you?
Good.
Got my brother killed.
Hans, Hans, Hans. We've been through this a dozen times.
He died of AIDS.
He says he should fire his translator?
Hell, you're the perfect weapon, Gary.
Herro.
I can't help it. This just feels so right,
I could've sworn she was telling the truth.
I guess Pearl Harbor sucked.
I guess you won't do everything to take it all back, will you, Gary?
I had a terrific pran I thought it would work.
I have intercepted communications that he is planning
I hurt people. I'm a dick.
I know it's hard, Gary.
I like you. You have balls.
I met somebody who took my breath away.
I miss you more than that movie missed the point.
I must get back to pranning the ceremony now.
I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part.
I really like you.
I sense Gary's trapped inside the tavern.
I went to Iraq, you know!
I'm already on it.
I'm gonna hit the water.
I'm just bad news.
I'm supposed to get in your car and let you put your finger inside me.
I'm the smartest, most crever Most physicarry fit.
I'm with the Film Actors Guild. I'm here to help with the broadcast.
I've had to live with that
If anyone tries to get in our way, we'll show them just how tough
If you fade out It seems like more time has passed
It costs folks like you and me.
It costs folks like you and me.
It took from me my best friend.
It will be 9/11 times 2,356.
It's kind of sirry But not rearry.
It's the dream that we all share.
It's the dream that we all share.
It's the hope for tomorrow.
Janeane Garofalo and Matt Damon.
Jean Francois?
Jean Francois.
Jesus! What have we got?
Just a little bit more Than I miss you.
Just imagine it.
Just like nobody can help it if you have feelings for Gary
Let me explain to you the kind of man Gary is.
Lisa, you're the most amazing person I've ever met.
Matt Damon!
Mr Sheen, Mr Robbins. Someone has broken into the main hall.
My only option now is to blow up Kim Jong II
No, I just want to show you something
No! The team is in North Korea.
No. No, I'm not gonna let it end like this.
Now I must return home a failure
Now let's see how Kim Jong II's panthers treat you.
Now, take the weapons where I told you
Of course, if you're not interested,
Oh, fuck, I've been hit.
Oh, hello.
Oh, my God!
Oh, no? I've got Arec Barrwin.
Oh, shit.
Okay, who brew up Panama Canal?
Only a woman Can brighten up my day.
Only a woman Can touch me the right way, yeah.
Only a woman Is allowed to touch me there.
Our base was attacked by a giant socialist weasel.
Please, Gary, I'm not from Hollywood.
Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks
Salvage their ships. If you find anyone arive, you know what to do with them.
Sarah! God, Chris, you gotta help her.
See, there are three kinds of people,
So ronery.
Spottswoode, I think we just found the entrance to the theater.
Spottswoode!
Take super secret hiding positions Alpha One.
Team, I'm afraid I have bad news.
Ten years of pranning, and finarry the night is here.
Terrorists on screen.
Terrorists, your game is through.
That is the F.A.G. way.
That's when you need to put yourself to the test.
The actors are calling for an emergency meeting.
The biggest stars in Horrywood.
The Film Actors Guild and Kim Jong II are preased to welcome you
The gays and the straights And the whites and the spades.
The hour's approaching To give it your best.
The massive attack during a peace ceremony.
The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much.
The terrorists?
The true nature of humanity is unreashed.
The valmoriphication completely worked.
The world is becoming more and more violent
Then let me look around so I can ease the UN's collective mind.
There must be another way.
There's a hero inside of all of us
There's an emptiness I need to fill.
There's not a thing in the world that can mess this up.
There's the door.
These guys really snuck up on us
Things are inevitabry going to change.
This is breaking news with Peter Jennings.
This is breaking news with Peter Jennings.
This is the real world.
To bring the world together under the principles of the Film Actors Guild.
To let you do your job.
To show it all would take too long.
To show it all would take too long.
Tried to get the earthrings All to kill each other, you see.
Wait a minute. Look!
We are Bashir rebels from the country of Somalia. Who are you?
We are gonna have our dicks and our pussies
We are here to usher in a new era without violence.
We were all out at the zoo one day.
We will persuade everyone to drive hybrid cars and stop smoking
We'll never pay that bill.
We've lost I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.
Well, then let's go show the bad guys the police are back in force.
What are they doing here?
What do you think Spottswoode sees in him?
What if the old man is wrong about him?
What is that supposed to mean?
What the hell? Something's shooting at us from the water.
What?
When I was a kid, I always looked up to my older brother, Tommy.
Which I have given to terrorists around the grobe.
Why can't they ever do this the easy way?
With a weapon of mass destruction.
Would you think about all them people.
Would you think about all them war vets.
Yes, there is.
You don't use the WMDs until you see the signal.
You see, the corporations finance Team America.
You shall see. I will be back!
You? You're a buttfucking quitter.
You're going to fool everyone, Gary.
You're the best, Gary.
Your freedom's at stake, too.
Your plan will fail.
Your plan will never work. Something will stop it.
Your plans are over.
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS. The Pope has got it and so do you.
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS. The Pope has got it and so do you.
Always fade out in a montage. Montage.
Always fade out in a montage. Montage.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
Fuck you. She wants to help us. No, Chris, she's acting.
Gary? An infidel.
Gary? What the fuck are you doing here?
Girl, we want a montage. Montage.
I know you did, son. I still say this is a fucking mistake.
I'll get him. Lisa?
In a montage. Montage.
Jesus, this is a nice limo. Yes, it is.
Lisa, are you okay? No, Gary, the countdown.
Slavery. Fuck, yeah.
That's called a montage. Montage.
The Internet. Fuck, yeah.
We're doing this without you! Now, hold on, team.
We're gonna need a montage. Montage.
We're guards? We're guards. We're guards.
What's your problem with me? Yeah, you wanna go?