Ron White Soundboard Edit

Almost Perfect #almost #perfect #expect #not done #close #mistake #ron white #messed up #going well

An Interesting Fact #ron white #facts #did you know #today i learned

And I was really excited during hurricane time, you know, because it's out there in the Gulf and it's dangerous. And I was like, this is cool until shit started hitting our house, I was like, fuck ...

And what I thought happened was he was on the ride, stood up, got his head cut off. That's not what happened. What happened was while he was on the right, his hat flew off and when he got off the r...

Diamonds #diamonds #women #ron white #shut up #propose #engagement

Don't Start With Me #dont #start #stop #shush #annyoing #ron white

I believe that's six years old. This kid knows what game. I didn't find out what game meant till I started hitchhiking.

I find it a little ironic that the product that I use to keep from ruining my sofa should I spill my drink on it is actually called. Scotchguard.

I got thrown out of a bar in New York City.

I Like It a Lot #i like it #love it #thank you #very nice #ron white #great

I Said That #yes #i said that #sarcasm #sassy #secret #told you #ron white

I wrote a book, 7 Silly Secrets Truckers just don't want you to know.

I'm between six one and six six, depending on which convenience store I'm leaving.

I'm Broke #broke #please help #ron white #hungry #coupons #all i got #no money #run out of money

I'm Broke #no money #broke #no job #expensive #shopping #poor #ron white

I'm Poor #poor #broke #no money #no job #expensive #ron white

If you get hit with a Volvo. It doesn't really matter how many sit-ups. You did that more.

Interesting Fact #interesting fact #interesting #fact #truth #statistic #stat #ron white #sassy

It isn't. That the wind is blowing. It's. What the wind is blowing.

It Won't Suck Itself #dick #wont suck #blowjob #ron white

Long Lines #long line #wait #ron white #time #queue #stood in line #hour

Love The Beatles #beatles #music #british #ron white #love #like #fan

Nobody stopping me.

Once you've seen one woman naked #ron white

Remain Silent #5th admendment #trouble #silence #shut your mouth #quiet #talkative #secret #gossip #snitch #ron white

Spent Too Much #broke #shopping #expensive #spent too much #ron white #black friday #spend money

The cop says, Mr. White, you are being charged with drunk in public. I was like, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. I was drunk in a bar. They threw me into public. I don't wanna be drunk in publi...

There's Some Good News #good news #ron white #positive #happy #glad #news

Well, they called the police because we broke a chair on the way out the door and I refused to pay for it and the cops showed up and at that point I had the right to remain silent. But I didn't hav...

Won't Shut Up #wont shut up #quiet #talkative #annoying #shush #talking #ron white #stop

You can take down those roadblocks now.

You can't fix stupid #stupid #dumb #incompetent #ron white #comedy

You Missed the Point #dumb #stupid #over your head #missed #point #low iq #ron white #mental #in one ear #out the other