Dr Strangelove Edit

A decision is being made by the president...

A device which will destroy all human and animal life on Earth.

A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids...

A large force of B 52 bombers airborne 24 hours a day.

A lethal cloud of radioactivity...

A moment, please, Mr. President.

A quick survey would have to be made of the available mine sites in the country.

A safeguard?

About 35 minutes ago...

After all, let's face it.

After that, they are connected...

After you've done that, report back to me.

Alexi? Alexi, please. I beg you.

All human and animal life?

All of our precious bodily fluids.

All other missions have acknowledged recall code.

All right, Charlie, I've been wastir too much time on you.

All right, Dimitri.

All right, you're sorrier than I am. But I am sorry as well.

All right.

All right. Designating new target: 3 8 4.

All right. Listen, don't forget to say your prayers.

Am I to understand the Russian ambassador...

America's Strategic Air Command maintains...

Among high level Western leaders...

And a cross section of necessary skills.

And a lot of other towns with a sneak attack.

And a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I heard over earphones.

And although I hate to judge before all the facts are in...

And as human beings, you and I need fresh, pure water...

And at the same time impossible to un trigger?

And by golly, we ain't about to let them down.

And completely credible and convincing.

And dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face?

And escape retaliation because of lack of proper command and control.

And essence of our natural...

And give a prayer of thanks for our deliverance.

And he went and did a silly thing.

And he won't be back for two hours.

And help yourself to whatever you'd like.

And I am Group Captain Lionel Mandrake, General Ripper' s executive officer.

And I can swear to you, my boy, swear to you...

And I drink a lot of water. I'm what you might call a water man.

And I have to get in touch with SAC headquarters immediately!

And I hope...

And I know I'll have to answer for what I've done.

And I think I can.

And I'm fine.

And I'm sure your entire air defense can stop a single plane.

And if we was flyir any lower, we'd need sleigh bells on this thing.

And if you don't put that gun away and stop this stupid nonsense...

And in a matter of weeks, sufficient improvements in dwelling space...

And in true health through the purity...

And its secondary target is Borchov, it's true.

And jacket them with cobalt thorium G...

And my advise to you is to give me the code now.

And one of them was targeted for Laputa.

And personal citations when this thing's over with.

And possibly make it from there to the Tango Delta weather ship.

And put him in immediate telephone contact with me.

And remaining fuel 8 7 9 0.

And sent the whole Wing to attack the Soviets?

And shells used by all the armies in World War II.

And simple to understand...

And still have a very effective reserve force for any other contingency.

And suffer only modest and acceptable civilian casualties...

And that works out to roughly...

And that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of"preverts."

And the base defended by base security troops.

And the computer could be set and programmed...

And the international Communist conspiracy...

And the joint chiefs in the War Room at the Pentagon.

And the plane manages to bomb the target...

And they seek the life essence.

And we were afraid of a doomsday gap!

And you have never given me anything less than that.

And you sure as hell won't stop them now.

Animals could be bred and slaughtered.

Any force trying to enter would certainly encounter heavy casualties.

Any variation on these rules must come from me personally.

Apparently, the 23rd Airborne Division...

Approaching target at distance 1 0 miles.

Approximate speed: Mach three.

Are gonna cause any change in Soviet expansionist policy!

Are quickly being reduced to a very low order of probability.

Are reported destroyed by enemy action.

Are there any army units stationed near Burpelson?

Are you sure?

As director of weapons research and development...

As I previously arranged, Air Police will have lists of all owners.

As part of a special exercise we were holding called Operation Dropkick.

As you know, the premier loves surprises.

As you may recall, sir...

At 8 7 9 0.

At the bottom of some of our deeper mine shafts.

At the same time, our people grumbled for more nylons and washing machines.

At this height they might harpoon us...

At weather ship Tango Delta...

Attack range gate on maximum scan.

Auto C.D.C. into manual Teleflex link.

Auto C.D.C. into manual Teleflex link.

Auto destruct circuits checked.

Automatically?

Backup circuits switched in. Still negative function.

Based in America, the Airborne Alert Force...

Based on the findings of the report...

Be so grief stricken and anguished that they...

Because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are.

Because of a single slipup, sir.

Before you can say "Blastoff!"

Below the Arctic peaks of the Zhokhov Islands.

Blast. Blast.

Bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!

Bomb arming test lights on, one through four.

Bomb arming test lights on, one through four.

Bomb fusing circuits one through four, test.

Bomb fusing circuits one through four, test. Lights on.

Bomb fusing, master safeties on.

Bomb fusing, master safety on.

Both for ourselves as human beings and for the life of our nation.

Boys, I ain't much of a hand at making speeches.

Buck, honey, I'm not sleepy either.

Buck, should I get it?

Bucky will be there as soon as he can.

Bull! Tell him to do it himself.

But are you aware of what a breach of security that would be?

But however he comes, we must stop him.

But I do deny them my essence.

But I do say no more than

But I don't have a phone.

But I got a fair idea that something doggone important...

But I just got a message from base over the C.R.M. 114.

But I think I know what's in every heart in this room.

But I would guess that a dwelling space...

But I've got a good idea what the recall code is...

But if you don't get the president on the phone, you know what's gonna happen?

But in the end, we could not keep up with the expense involved...

But it is necessary now to make a choice:

But look at me. Do I look all rancid and clotted?

But look, Doctor. Wouldrt this nucleus of survivors...

But nevertheless distinguishable postwar environments.

But since there are

But they sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen.

But they're trained to do it.

But this is fantastic, Strangelove. How can it be triggered automatically?

But today...

But we got one little budge on them Ruskies.

By elements of the 8 4 3 Bomb Wing.

By the Bland Corporation.

C.R.M. 114 is designed not to receive at all...

Can I give you just one word of advice, Dimitri?

Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dimitri?

Can you imagine? Shoot it off!

Can you possibly imagine what is going to happen to you...

Can't you stick to the point?

Cease fire!

Certainly one can never be too sure about those things.

Certainly without any choice.

Check bomb door circuits one through four.

Clear and plain and coming through fine.

Cobalt thorium G has a radioactive half life of 93 years.

Cobalt thorium G.

Code prefix locked.

Code prefix set.

Colonel, I must know what you think has been going on here.

Colonel, that Coca Cola machine. I want you to shoot the lock off it.

Combined with a spirt of...

Come on, De Sadesky! That's ridiculous!

Commence evasive action right.

Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination...

Communist subversion...

Condition red. Jolly good. Keeps the men on their toes.

Confirmed: definite missile track.

Copilot to navigator. I'm ready with the fuel figures now.

Correct track indicator: minus seven.

Could you make this a collect call, Operator?

Could you tell me what it's about?

D.S.O. to Captain.

Deflection increasing. Range: eight miles.

Deflection still increasing. Range: six miles.

Depending on the breaks.

Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy...

Detonator set to zero altitude.

Detonator set to zero altitude.

Did they torture you?

Dimitri, can I give you just one word...

Dimitri, look, if this report is true...

Dimitri, look, we've got an acknowledgement from every plane...

Distance: 60 miles.

Do I have to think of everything?

Do I take it, sir, you are threatening a brother officer with a gun?

Do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dimitri?

Do you know what it is?

Do you realize that fluoridation...

Doctor...

Does not give you any special prerogatives to question my orders.

Doggone it, Sweets, you told me that you could get me to the primary!

Don't say that you're more sorry than I am...

Don't you know that General Ripper went mad...

Don't you think we'd be better off away from this flying glass?

Dr. Strangelove, do we have anything like that in the works?

During the physical act of love.

E.C.M. locked to target intercept mode.

Each B 52 can deliver a nuclear bomb load of 50 megatons...

Electronic Guidance Scrambler to blue grid.

Electronic, barometric, time and impact.

Emergency power on. Still negative function.

Engage primary trigger switch override.

Engage primary trigger switch override.

Equal to 16 times the total explosive force of all the bombs...

Essential power re selected.

Estimate remaining fuel...

Even the normal phone lines are shut down.

Every man jack of them, Jack.

Every possible three letter combination of the code.

Everything checks out all right. Will advise.

Except the four you've shot down.

Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me, sir. Something rather interesting has just cropped up.

Feeling of emptiness followed.

Fine. And you?

Fine. I can hear you now, Dimitri.

Five miles. Homing alignment factor to zero mode.

Five: lf, on the other hand...

Fluids.

For extreme watchfullness.

For Pete's... Find out what he wants.

For reasons which at this moment must be all too obvious.

For several hundred thousand of our people could easily be provided.

For the sake of our country and our way of life...

For this reason, men, I want to impress upon you the need...

Four days concentrated emergency rations...

Four: If prior to this time...

Fred? Buck. What's it look like?

Freddie, the general says could you call back in a minute?

From Burpelson Air Force Base.

From their remaining force which would be badly damaged and uncoordinated.

Fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk, ice cream?

Fuel flow on active engines and leakage has increased.

Fuel valves three, four and six!

Fuse for ground burst. Delay factor yellow three.

Fuse for ground burst. Delay factor yellow three.

Fused air burst at 10..." Check..."12,000 feet."

Fused for air burst at 10,000 feet.

G.P.I. acceleration factor set.

General Faceman, I want them to enter the base, locate General Ripper...

General Faceman.

General Ripper called Strategic Air Command Headquarters...

General Ripper, sir, as an officer in Her Majesty's Air Force...

General Ripper, sir.

General Turgidson, a Colonel Puntrich calling.

General Turgidson, I am becoming less and less interested...

General Turgidson, I find this very difficult to understand.

General Turgidson, I've heard quite sufficient from you.

General Turgidson, when you instituted the human reliability tests...

General Turgidson, with all due respect for your defense team...

General Turgidson...

General, it is the avowed policy of our country...

GeneralJack Ripper, the commanding general...

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room!

Gentlemen.

Give him the phone.

Give me a headiron that just as soon as you get it worked out.

Give me full power!

Go ahead, General.

God bless you all."

God willing, we will prevail in peace and freedom from fear...

Goldie, did you say Wing attack Plan R?

Goldie, how many times have I told you guys that I don't want...

Good Lord.

Good luck to you all.

Got any witnesses?

Greenouses could maintain plant life.

Grid coordinate 0 0 3 6 9 1...

Grid coordinates 0 0 3 6 9 1.

Group Captain Mandrake speaking.

Group Captain, the officer exchange program...

Hang on a second, Dimitri.

Has the Wing confirmed holding at their fail safe points?

Have you ever heard of fluoridation of water?

Have you got 55 cents?

Have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water...

He changed it when he became a citizen.

He may even come in the uniform of our own troops.

He might have been right.

He ordered his planes...

He said war was too important to be left to the generals.

He says according to information forwarded by our A ir Staffs...

He says one of the planes hasn't turned back.

He says their air defense now only claims three aircraft confirmed.

He'll see everything. He'll see the big board.

He's dead, in the bathroom.

He's tied up. I'm afraid he can't come to the phone.

Heck, I reckon you wouldn't be human beings...

Hell, we've got a five to one missile superiority.

Hell, ye...

Hello?

Hello? Hello, Dimitri?

Here 's the attack profile, sir.

Hit emergency power!

Hmm. Strangelove?

Homing alignment factor to zero mode.

Horsiraround on the airplane?

How does that coincide with your postwar Commie conspiracy, huh?

How long would you have to stay down there?

How soon will the planes penetrate Russian radar cover?

However, we would have enough fuel to ditch...

Huh. What's cooking on the threat board?

I admit the human element seems to have failed us here.

I agree with you. It's great to be fine.

I agree, Mr. President.

I am as sorry as you are, Dimitri.

I am General Ripper' s executive officer...

I am not... I am not getting...

I am positive, Dimitri.

I assume the planes will return automatically...

I believe in all that sort of thing and I'm hoping, you know, Jack...

I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake.

I can no longer sit back and allow...

I can't quite see what you're getting at.

I deeply respect you as a human being.

I do not avoid women, Mandrake.

I don't know exactly how to put this, sir...

I don't know how well I could stand up under torture.

I don't know what stupid game this is you're playing...

I don't know, Jack. It's difficult to think under these conditions.

I don't know, sir. We spoke just a few moments ago, didn't we?

I don't like the look of this.

I don't want to talk to him, Colonel, I've got to talk to him.

I estimate we only have

I got a lot of wounded men outside. Start walkir.

I happen to believe in a life after this one...

I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious...

I have a portion of the conversation transcript if you'd like me to read it.

I have always expected the best from you...

I haven't had very much experience...

I issued instructions for all radios to be impounded.

I know how it is, baby.

I know they're our boys.

I mean, as far as men were concerned?

I mean, if he's really sharp, he can barrel that baby in so low.

I mean, look at the big board.

I mean, supposing the Ruskies...

I mean, supposir Kissoff is lyir about that fourth plane...

I mean, we must be increasingly on the alert...

I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.

I must insist that you give them to me!

I realize that, sir, but I thought you'd be pleased to hear the news.

I said Premier Kissoff is a degenerate atheistic Commie!

I see. He says he's tried personally several times, but everything is dead.

I shouldn't tell you this, but you're a good officer and have a right ot know.

I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them.

I think General Ripper found out about your "preversion"...

I think it's taking things too far.

I think the auto destruct mechanism got hit and blew itself up.

I think you're some kind of deviated "prevert."

I think, hope, pray... what the recall code is.

I thought I might mosey over to the War Room to see what's doing over there.

I told you never to call me here. Don't you know where I am?

I told you to take it easy, Group Captain.

I want all privately owned radios to be immediately impounded.

I want this flashed to all sections immediately.

I want to speak to General Ripper on the telephone.

I was laying train lines for the bloodyJapanese puff puffs.

I was told to get Ripper on the phone with the President of the United States.

I will have poached eggs. And bring me some cigars, please. Havana cigars.

I will not go down in history as the greatest mass murderer since Hitler!

I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.

I wonder where they got them from.

I would like to say that in the two years...

I would say, sir, that there was something dreadfully wrong somewhere

I would sooner accept a few casualties through accident...

I would think that possibly one hundred years.

I'd better tell you because if they do, it'll cause a stink.

I'd like to hold off judgment until all the facts are in.

I'd say you're all in line for some important promotions...

I'd say, well...

I'll just check, sir.

I'll tell you.

I'll try and guess what the code is...

I'm a religious man myself, you know.

I'm afraid I don't understand something, Alexi.

I'm afraid I'm still not with you, sir, because I mean...

I'm afraid not. The planes were holding at their fail safe points...

I'm beginnir to smell a big, fat Commie rat.

I'm coming through fine, too, eh? Good.

I'm going to pick up this red telephone, which is connected to SAC...

I'm gonna get them doors open if it harelips everybody on Bear Creek!

I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened.

I'm not a sentimentalist by nature...

I'm perfectly certain of that, Dimitri.

I'm sorry they're jamming your radar and flying so low...

I'm sorry too, Dimitri. I'm very sorry.

I'm sorry, I haven't got enough change.

I'm sorry, Mr. President.

I'm sorry, sir, but those are the figures.

I'm sorry, sir. That estimate was based on the original loss rate factor...

I'm speaking from Burpelson Air Force Base.

I'm sure they all gave it their very best.

I'm sure they all gave it their very best.

I'm the only person who knows the three letter code group.

I've been all over this with your ambassador.

I've been to one world fair, a picnic...

I've done as you asked. Be careful. I think he is drunk.

I've got a fair idea of the kind of personal emotions...

I've got a gammy leg. Oh, dear. Gone. Shot off.

I've only ever pressed a button in my old Spitfire.

I've worked out our rate of fuel loss at approximately 1 6 2 per minute.

Ice cream.

If a Russian attack was in progress...

If a Russian attack was not in progress...

If I may advise.

If the normal chain of command has been disrupted.

If the spaghetti hits the fan, we're in trouble.

If this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it might be...

If you didn't have pretty strong personal feelings about nuclear combat.

If you take 50 H bombs in the 100 megaton range...

If you'll excuse me for saying so, that would be to my way of thinking...

In Omsk. Right.

In order to breed more prodigiously than we do...

In order to guard against surprise nuclear attack...

In order to prevent the enemy from issuing fake or confusing orders...

In the arms race, the space race and the peace race.

In the name of Her Majesty and the Continental Congress, feed me this belt.

In which a lower echelon commander may order...

Indicated that we would destroy

Intelligence sources traced the site of the top secret Russian project...

Is being acknowledged "roger"...

Is deployed from the persian Gulf to the Arctic Ocean.

Is going on back there.

Is it possible to make this an ordinary trunk call?

Is lost if you keep it a secret!

Is programmed into a tape memory bank.

Is stationed seven miles away at Alvarado.

Is that the Russian ambassador?

Is the most monstrously conceived...

Is the premier threatening to explode it if our planes carry out their attack?

Is this gonna set off the doomsday machine?

Is to be admitted entrance to the War Room?

Issued an order to the 34 B 52s of his Wing...

It appears that the order called for the planes...

It came in on the red phone. I'm gonna follow orders and seal this base tight.

It certainly does, far beyond the point I would have imagined possible.

It could easily be accomplished with a computer.

It decoded as Wing attack Plan R.

It is designed to explode if any attempt is made to un trigger it.

It is essential.

It is my clear duty under the present circumstances...

It looks like we're in a shooting war.

It might be better if you were more concerned...

It requires only the will to do so.

It used to be Merkwurdichliebe.

It was their way of having a bit of fun, the swine.

It would be quite easy...

It would not be difficult, Mein Fuhrer.

It'd be extremely naive of us to imagine that these new developments...

It's a Commie trick! We're wasting valuable time!

It's beginning to look like General Ripper exceeded his authority.

It's going to take us about two and a half days to transmit them all.

It's good that you're fine...

It's headed for the missile complex at Laputa.

It's incredibly obvious, isn't it?

It's not gonna help either one of us if the doomsday machine goes off, is it?

It's remarkably simple to do that.

It's some theme he kept repeating. A variation on...

Its jet exhaust frying chickens in the barnyard!

Jack, I'd love to come, but what's happened, you see...

Jack, listen.

Just a minute.

Just a second. Apparently they monitored a transmission eight minutes ago...

Just a second. You know what he says?

Just lookir for an excuse to clobber us?

Just to say hello?

Keep your feet on the ground when you're talking, Dimitri.

Last and possibly most important...

Let me finish, Dimitri.

Let me finish, Dimitri.

Let's see if we can stay on the ball.

Listen to that. Music. Civilian broadcasting.

Listen, Dimitri.

Listen, I can't hear too well.

Listen, if it wasrt friendly, you probably wouldn't have even got it.

Listen. Chock full of stations all churning it out.

Listen. Now, who should we call?

Lock E.C.M. to target intercept mode.

Look at all of them Nazis killed off, and they still wouldn't quit!

Look at me, Jack. Look.

Look at the big board! They're getting ready to clobber us!

Look, baby, I can't talk to you now.

Look, Dimitri, you know exactly where they're going...

Looks like a missile tracking us.

Lord...

Loss of essence.

Luckily I was able to interpret these feelings correctly.

Major Kong, is it possible this is some kind of loyalty test?

Major Kong, message from base confirmed.

Mandrake, come here.

Mandrake, come over here. The redcoats are coming.

Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating the water...

Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war?

Mandrake, I suppose it never occurred to you...

Mandrake, water is the source of all life.

Mandrake, were you ever a prisoner of war?

May I tell you that I have a very good idea...

Maybe you'd better get a confirmation from base.

Mein Fuhrer...

Missile complex seven miles east of Borchov.

Missile still closing distance and tracking steady.

Missile still closing range.

Missile still closing true and steady. Continue evasive action.

Missile still deflecting. Range: four miles.

Missile still tracking and closing distance.

Missile still tracking steady and closing distance.

Missions 12, 22, 30 and 38...

Morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills...

Mr. Ambassador!

Mr. President, I think they're getting him on the line.

Mr. President, I think they're trying the number.

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.

Mr. President, if I may speak freely.

Mr. President, it is not only possible...

Mr. President, the secretary of state is in Vietnam.

Mr. President, the technology required is easily within the means...

Mr. President, there are one or two points I'd like to make, if I may?

Mr. President, they have the ambassador waiting upstairs.

Mr. President, we are rapidly approaching a moment of truth...

Mr. President, we must not allow a mine shaft gap!

Mr. President?

Mr. President...

Mr. President...

My attack orders have been issued, and the orders stand.

My boys can brush them aside without too much trouble.

My boys must have surrendered.

My boys will give you the best kind of start: 1,400 megatons won'th.

My conclusion was that this idea was not a practical deterrent...

My president needs me.

Naturally, they would breed prodigiously.

Navigator to Captain.

Negative function, lights red.

Never to strike first with nuclear weapons.

Next to you.

Nine packs of chewing gum...

No one could say.

No place.

No, Dimitri, I'm just worried.

No, I don't think I do, sir. No.

No, I don't, Jack.

No, I mean, when they tortured you, did you talk?

No, I'm certain of that.

No, I'm perfectly serious. The President of the United States.

No, l...

No, no, Dimitri, there must be some mistake.

No, no, I don't know what it is.

No, not a bit.

No, sir. Excuse me.

No, sir. General Ripper sealed off the base and cut off communications.

No, sir. It is not a thing a sane man would do.

Nor the inclination for strategic thought.

Not a pretty story.

Not a thing, Jackie.

Not an exercise?

Not at 2 0 5.

Not now, but anytime, Dimitri.

Nothing? Nothing at all?

Now just one second. You just said "the president."

Now let's get this thing on the hump. We got some flying to do.

Now look, Colonel Bat Guano...

Now look, if our A ir Staffs say its primary target is Laputa...

Now they let me down.

Now works out at 2 0 5.

Now, Dimitri...

Now, General Ripper is dead, is he not?

Now, I am going to give you three simple rules.

Now, I want you to transmit Plan R...

Now, men, in conclusion...

Nuclear combat toe to toe with the Ruskies.

Nuclear reactors could...

Nuclear retaliation after a sneak attack...

O.P.O.E.

Of Burpelson Air Force Base...

Of course Bucky would rather be there with you.

Of course I like to say hello!

Of course I like to speak to you!

Of course it isn't only physical.

Of course, it would be absolutely vital...

Of course, it's a friendly call.

Of even the smallest nuclear power.

Of something going wrong with the bomb.

Of the so called monogamous sexual relationship?

Of the so called monogamous sexual relationship?

Of what we have been spending on defense in a single year.

Oh, blast! I'm still 20 cents short.

Oh, listen, you go back to sleep.

Oh, only Commie stooges, huh?

Oh, station to station.

Oh, we were just catching up on some of the general's paperwork.

Oh, yes.

Oh. All communications are dead!

Okay, I'm gonna get your money for you.

Okay, open up at 200 yards.

Old Ripper wouldn't be giving us Plan R...

On no account will a Commie ever drink water...

On top of that, I don't know anything about any planes attacking Russia.

Once they fly beyond fail safe, they do not require a second order to proceed.

Once they reach their fail safe points.

One drug issue containing antibiotics...

One issue of prophylactics...

One miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible...

One of our base commanders, he had a sort of...

One of the provisions of Plan R provides...

One, where 20 million people are killed; the other, 150 people killed.

Operate manual override!

Operator, hold on. I shant keep you a second.

Operator, look.

Operator? This is Group Captain Lionel Mandrake.

Or plant false transmission...

Or rainwater, and only pure grain alcohol?

Otherwise, proceed to secondary target:

Otherwise, we will be totally destroyed by Red retaliation.

Our fellows will be inside Russian radar cover in about 20 minutes.

Our source was The New York Times.

Our studies show even the worst fallout is down to a safe level after two weeks.

Over and out.

P.O.E.

Perhaps you're forgetting the provisions of Plan R, sir.

Plan R?

Please sit down. And turn that thing off.

Premier Kissoff's calling again and he's hopping mad.

Primary and secondary targets, but we will not...

Primary trigger switch override engaged.

Probably bought them from the army as war surplus.

Pulse ident transponder active.

Purity of Essence.

Put everything you've got into those two sectors, and you can't miss!

Put your hands on top of your head. Start walkir.

Put your hands over your head and keep 'em there! Go on.

Put your hands over your head.

Radioactive half life of...

Range gate on maximum scan.

Range: 30 miles.

Range: 40 miles. Continue evasive action.

Range: one mile. Missile detonated!

Range: two miles. Missile still deflecting.

Rather an odd way of looking at it

Re select essential power!

Read it.

Regardless of your race, color or your creed.

Regrettably, yes.

Release first safety.

Repeat, not be able to make it back to any base or neutral country.

Right. General Turgidson, what's going on?

Right. It was directed to the 843rd Bomb Wing on airborne alert.

Roger.

Roger.

Roger. Confirm 2 0 5 per minute...

Roger. Eight miles.

Roger. Four miles.

Roger. Navigator?

Roger. Ready for final bomb run check.

Roger. Ready to set code prefix.

Roger. Seven miles. Check G.p.I. acceleration factor.

Second safety released.

Second safety.

Secondly: Anyone or anything...

Seven hours, 15 minutes endurance from this time.

Sexual fertility, intelligence...

Shoot with the gun! That's what the bullets are for, you twit!

Shoot, a fellow could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with that stuff.

Shortly after he issued the go code.

Shot away, I expect, by one of your men during this ridiculous fighting!

Sir, I must ask you for the key and the recall code. Have you got them handy?

Sir, if the rate of loss does not increase...

Sir, that's the I.C.B.M. complex at Kotloss.

Six: An unofficial study which we undertook of this eventuality...

Sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills...

So let's get going. There 's no other choice.

So that in ten months...

So the president will want to speak to me, won't he?

So we're both sorry, all right?

Someday I'm going to make you Mrs. Buck Turgidson.

Staines, get Premier Kissoff on the hot line.

Staines, is everybody here?

Stand by the blower. I'll get back to you.

Stashed away some big bombs, see, and we didn't?

Stay with me, Mandrake.

Still negative function.

Supposing a bit of water has gone off, eh?

Supposing I play a little guessing game with you, Jack boy?

Surely you must recall, sir, when Senator Beaufort made...

Switch from green grid to target orange.

Switched to C.R.M. discriminators.

Target distance: eight miles.

Target distance: five miles.

Target distance: six miles.

Target in sight! Where in hell is Major Kong?

Target orange grid reference checks.

Target reference: November, bravo, Xray...

Target reference: Yankee, golf, tango...

Telemetric guidance computer into orange grid.

Telemetric guidance computer into orange grid.

Tell him to call back.

Tell him where you are and that you'll speak if I say anything untrue...

Tell you something else.

Tell you what you better do, old buddy.

Tell you what you do.

Ten females to each male...

Than lose the entire base and its personnel through carelessness.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, no. I do not support the work of imperialist stooges.

Thank you, sir.

That approaches within 200 yards of the perimeter is to be fired upon.

That big hassle about our deterrent lacking credibility.

That can't be helped. Have him brought here straightaway.

That goes for every last one of you...

That is correct. He is here on my orders.

That is precisely the idea.

That is the whole idea of this machine, you know.

That it has been my privilege to be your commanding officer...

That once the go code is received...

That some of you fellows may be thinking.

That the Soviet Union had been at work on what was darkly hinted to be...

That there 's nothing wrong with my bodily fluids.

That was not an act of national policy. There are still alternatives open to us.

That while we're chatting here so enjoyably...

That will be all, sir? I'll see to it right away.

That's impossible, Mr. President.

That's impossible.

That's much better.

That's nice shooting, soldier!

That's not meant as an insult, Mr. Ambassador.

That's private property.

That's the way a hard core Commie works.

The air force never sleeps.

The aircraft will begin penetrating Russian radar cover within 25 minutes.

The answer to that is, no one ever does.

The bomb, Dimitri.

The C.R.M. 114 is to be switched into all receiver circuits.

The central display of Russia will indicate the position of the planes.

The Court of Inquiry on this will give you such a pranging...

The deciding factor was when we learned your country was working similarly...

The doomsday machine is designed to trigger itself automatically.

The doomsday machine is terrifying...

The doomsday machine? What is that?

The duty officer asked General Ripper...

The emergency base code prefix is to be set...

The enemy may come individually or he may come in strength.

The fear of attack.

The flight plans and defensive systems of the planes.

The folks back home are counting on you.