Meet the Parents Edit

A cat?

A dog is easy to break. But cats make you work for their affection.

A loser

A lot of these hospital workers are pill poppers looking for 'ludes.

A problem that's been bothering you all week.

Absolutely.

Accommodating...God.

Actually Greg aced his MCATs.

Actually, I'm a nurse. Doctor'll be right in.

Actually, there's something in my suitcase

Actually, you may be in luck.

Ah booga booga booga! Whooh!

Ah, right. 0pposable... Didn't think about that.

Airline.

All right, all right, stand back!

All right, Focker, I'm a patient man.

All right, Kevo. Right on schedule.

All right, let's give it a whirl.

All right, we're gonna get home, very soon.

All right, you guys are great. Very good.

All right.

All right.

All you have to do is answer yes or no.

Almost. Except for that tail.

Am I supposed to go the whole weekend with just these clothes?

Amazing. So so so much love, yet also so much...information.

Amen.

And a rainbow explodes 'cross the sky

And all I wanna do is hold on to my bag and not listen to you.

And covers his genitals, his ears go down.

And crafty craftsman.

And each day...by day...

And Greg, meanwhile, anything you need, just ask, huh?

And grow to love you, too, OK?

And he picked the exact same design that Kevin gave you.

And his parents, Linda Banks.

And honey, Pam thinks he might be the one.

And I hope that you can forgive me.

And I love you.

And I met and fell in love with you, so can we please drop this?

And I shall see your face...

And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

And I wouldn't feel right asking her to wear it

And I'll show you

And if I find that you are trying to corrupt my firstborn child,

And if it doesn't?

And if we can get through...what we got through in the last 48 hours,

And it's you

And it's you

And Kevin was the one who introduced Bob to Debbie.

And later, when they purchase a home, maybe it'll grace their garden.

And listen to me when I say

And no one cares

And no one understands

And nothing goes the way you plan

And once you're out, there's no coming back.

And pay a visit to the shower fairy.

And round and round we go.

And the world famous plastic surgeon Dr. Larry.

And then took the saucer and fed it to Geppetto.

And very soon my parents are gonna see that

And we both know there's only one way to make Mr. Winkie go away, right?

And we thank you, 0, sweet, sweet Lord of Hosts,

And we were curious, er,

And without a Saturday stay over that fare difference will be

And you're in love

And you're in love

And you're in love

And your airline, you suck at checking bags.

And...

Any problem with the documents?

Anyway, the guy said with regular watering

Are always gray

Are you a homeowner, Greg?

Are you feeling all right?

Are you gonna go with the guys with the earmuffs and put it there?

Are you gonna take my bag and put it there?

As long as you keep your mouth shut for the rest of your life,

As soon as it's ready,

At least then he was talking to me, so...

Attaboy, Greg.

Attaboy!

Attaboy! That took me another week.

Be my guest, Focker.

Because you were seeking my approval?

Between giving your sister a black eye and...

Bite me, Denny.

Bob bought him the perfect gift that just won him over.

Bob just understood that Dad appreciates that.

Bob, you ride with me. Larry, come with your car.

Bob. Honey.

Bomb bo bo bomb bo bom bom bo bomb!!

Bomb, bomb, bomb. Bomb, bomb, bomb bomb.

But do you think that it's possible that Samsonite,

But I couldn't save you,

But I figure, hey, pulling down decent bucks,

But I will be watching you, studying your every move,

But if I gave you the wrong impression

But it was strictly on a "need to know" basis.

But it's like...he didn't show the slightest bit of interest.

But let's put all that behind us and enjoy our weekend together.

But Mr. Winkie is still on Chicago time

But the point is that...

But the time that we have spent together has been incredible.

But these last 10 months have been the happiest of my life.

But to put you outside the Circle.

But under our roof, it's my way

But when you're a fool in love

But you can be a real jerk sometimes.

But you didn't have to say right when we met.

But you were also an angel of God, and He needed you, too.

But, how do you know for certain

Can he be Goose?

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Carpentry? I guess I'd have to say Jesus.

Cat.

Chug chug chug...

Come get your revised itineraries!

Come here, baby! Come to Daddy, Jinxy!

Come here, little Jinxy.

Come here!

Come here. Come to Daddy.

Come on, honey. Give 'em some privacy.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, seriously. Part of you wishes you ended up with him.

Come on, sweetie. I got a half hour before I have to be back.

Come on, team. He's got nothing!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on! No! Jinx, come here! Jinxy!

Come on. Oh! Taught him that in one week.

Connection was more... physical than anything else.

Considering I carved it by hand from one piece of wood.

Could you at least try to consider another profession?

Couldn't this be construed as illegal? Invasion of privacy?

Dad seems to like him, don't you think?

Dad, Greg grew up in Detroit.

Dad, I'm here.

Dad, stop it! That's enough!

Dad, that's kinda weird.

Dad, what's going on? Oh, my God.

Dad!

Dad! Hey, hey! Dad! Calm down!

Dad! You ever think of knocking?

Dad.

Daddy, that's beautiful.

Daddy?

Damn! Now I have to reconfigure the whole procession.

Day by day...by day.

Day by day...by day. Amen.

Dearly beloved!

Dearly beloved!

Debbie's sleeping here tomorrow so you'll have more privacy,

Denny, I'm lending Greg your jacket.

Denny!

Denny?

Denny?

Denny?

Denny?

Denny? Denny!

Des fois tu crois voir ta chance tourner

Did I not clearly explain the Circle of Trust to you, Greg?

Did you flush this toilet?

Didn't we discuss this in the car?

Dina, thank you so...

Do me a favor. Can I talk to your supervisor?

Do they have many farms in Detroit?

Do we have time? OK, I wanna show you what I'm really interested in.

Do we have to know everything about each other?

Do you have any nicotine patches?

Do you wanna be Maverick? Is that what this is about?

Do you want to marry her?

Do you want to marry her?

Do you, Deborah Byrnes, take Robert Banks to be your wedded husband?

Don't ask me what for, I just need you to do this thing.

Don't make it a nightmare.

Don't mention it. I just...

Don't raise your voice, sir.

Don't take a chance. You don't even have a toothbrush. Go on.

Don't worry, it'll be waiting for you there.

Don't worry, you'll enjoy this.

Dr. Bob of Denver. Isn't that great?

Easy. I designed a litter box to put inside the toilet.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Hi. You lost my bag and there's a diamond ring inside it.

F 0 C K E R.

Fantastic. Thanks, Jack.

Fine, considering I desecrated your grandma's remains,

Fine. Fine. OK. Denny?

Fire it up, Focker!

First name Golf Alpha Yankee...

Focker made the septic tank overflow.

Focker, I'm not gonna tell you again! Jinx cannot flush the toilet!

Focker.

For the day after the wedding.

For the floor you're walking on, I chose Bolivian wormwood.

For the...

Found out you were engaged and had your father ask me to milk him.

Four hour sweeps,

From the Jerusalis tulipizius genus, yes, yes.

Fuck!

Fugitives.

G man, we got salmon, we got swordfish. What'll it be?

Gaylord Focker...

Gaylord M. Focker?

Get off of me! Get off of me!

Get out of my house, Focker, and take your friend with you.

Get your hot buns. Hot patooties.

Get your red hot pu pus!

Go ahead, open it up.

Go take a shower, get dressed and come down.

God damn you, Jinx! I'll get you...!

Good night, Jack.

Good night.

Good.

Good. I'll meet you at the 0yster Bay drugstore in about 20 minutes.

Good. Keep your snake in its cage for 72 hours.

Good. Tom Collins coming up.

Good. Well, let's all finish up and get ready to go.

Gosh, she's great. Congratulations.

Gosh, yeah, we had some good times together.

Got your seat belts on back there?

Great song.

Greg didn't ace his med school Boards. He never even took the MCATs.

Greg took the MCATs, OK?

Greg, how come you don't like cats?

Greg, I'll meet you out front in about...12 to 15 minutes.

Greg, it's me.

Greg, nobody's expecting much from you

Greg, sweetie, how are you doing?

Greg, we'll get you something to wear from Jack's closet.

Greg, what line of work are you in?

Greg, when you have little Fockers running around,

Greg, would you like some yams?

Greg, would you like to say grace?

Greg!

Greg? I thought you were going back to Chicago.

Greg...

Greg's a male nurse.

Greg's *******.

Guess who's back in the Circle of Trust?

Ha! Right.

Ha. That's funny.

Hank Macatee called me and told me he found Jinxy.

Hard to tell

He can't lift the seat. He lacks the strength and opposable thumbs.

He did not lie to me, Dad!

He did, Ma, at Lost Luggage. The airline lost his bag.

He doesn't hate you, sweetie. Just give him a chance, all right?

He doesn't have thumbs, Focker!

He doesn't need a machine. He's a human lie detector.

He found him!

He interrogated double agents in the company.

He is. We have the best time together.

He put his collar on an impostor, then spray painted his tail,

He taught Jinx to walk down the aisle with this little pillow.

He told me he grew up on a farm.

He was a carpenter and I figured

He was giving me their visas!

He was in the CIA for 34 years.

He was in the rare flower business, he'll be interested.

He...he's right. He's right. I...I... My...my cover's blown.

He's a brown and black Himalayan with an all black tail.

He's a cat, for Christ's sakes!

He's not up in the trees.

He's still very much in the CIA.

Hello?

Hello.

Hello.

Here, take Denny's jacket.

Here's what we gotta do.

Hey, glad to hook you up. All right.

Hey, hey, look who's up!

Hey, hey! What the hell are you doing here?

Hey, I'll lend you a pair of Jack's.

Hey, Iceman, I have no problem with that.

Hey, Jackie.

Hey, listen, be nice to this one, OK?

Hey, Momma, looks great!

Hey, there he is! Get out here.

Hey, we never did finish that little convo in the den.

Hey, you OK?

Hey, your suitcase. You made sure it's all there?

Hey! You can't leave your vehicle unattended!

Hey.

Hey. Getting some quality time with the boys?

Hey. Hi.

Hi, Daddy! Hi!

Hi, how are you?

Hi, Jinx...

Hi. Where's the other camera?

Hm.

Hmm... Focker.

Holy shit! That's Jinx!

Honey, he said he'd pumped milk.

Honey, your kids are trying to tell you something!

How could I have seen Debbie's ring?

How could you do something like that?

How could you not tell me this?

How could you say that? That cat's been like a brother to you!

How did you teach the cat to use the toilet?

How do you pronounce it?

How? 15 minutes to go and the ring bearer's missing.

How's your portfolio?

Huddle up, team.

Huh! OK.

Huh.

I acted like a complete idiot, and...

I assure you your bag will be placed safely below with the other luggage.

I bet he doesn't have a real nursing degree.

I called Gaylord AKA Greg's parents in Detroit.

I can focus 100% on patient care. Doctors have bureaucracy...

I can handle your ex fiancé.

I definitely have the feeling this is it.

I did CPR on a 300 pound crack head today.

I did that once and you lost it, and everything screwed up for me.

I did.

I didn't actually grow up... on a farm per se.

I didn't lose your anything, sir.

I didn't turn her against you. You did that.

I don't care what your information says,

I don't even have a suit.

I don't feel comfortable wearing your dad's underwear.

I don't have to tell you that.

I don't know what got into me, Iceman.

I don't know, it makes no sense...

I don't know. He put so much... goddam lacquer on that thing.

I don't know. We haven't discussed it, but,

I don't like to be painted with that brush. Yes, that's my job...

I don't think Greg will be playing with Jinxy. He hates cats.

I don't wanna check my bag.

I don't. I don't hate cats...at all.

I don't... I just happen to be more of a dog lover.

I feel sorry that boy never had...

I forgot. I'm not supposed to let the snake out.

I got in early on some wireless IP0s and the stuff just skyrocketed.

I got my mojo working

I got my mojo working

I got my sneakers here. Let me change. It'll take a second.

I got someone who needs me... #

I grew up on a farm.

I guess you're gonna stay here?

I had a smoke, and I think I lit something...

I had this elaborate plan, but somewhere...

I had to move all my plants.

I had...I had no idea you could milk a cat.

I had...I had no idea you could milk a cat.

I have nipples. Could you milk me?

I have the best intentions with Pam.

I have the Viking range and the twin Sub Zs. They open up right there.

I I gave back the ring, I moved to Chicago

I just feel this isn't going well. Your dad hates me.

I just put a fresh coat of lacquer on this, so bear with me with the fumes.

I just want to say don't worry about what happened.

I just want to stow my bag according to regulations!

I just want you to know how much Pam means to me.

I just... I love you.

I just... I'm sorry, I saw a light on in here and I kinda stumbled in...

I just...I just prefer dogs.

I keep nothing from you, you keep nothing from me

I kinda like him.

I knew it.

I knew it.

I knew the little cracker was lying.

I know I signed for it... Don't tell me... What?

I know we haven't been together that long,

I know you've got to go. All right. I love you. Bye.

I know, but you're doing fine. I promise.

I left him here when I moved to Chicago.

I like to think of it as a little circle of trust.

I love this... What you... It's a cozy little nook.

I love you #

I love you so much.

I love you, Daddy...

I love you. Will you...marry me?

I love your daughter. I love her more than anything.

I mean not all the time...

I mean, can you ever really trust another human being, Greg?

I mean, do you realize that you never even warmed up to Kevin

I mean, I can't believe you actually...spray painted a cat...

I mean, I...I don't care about...

I mean, they'd have to be, right? To name their son Gaylord Focker?

I milked a cat once. You wanna hear a story?

I need a commercial flight ID scan. New York, La Guardia to Chicago.

I never knew about your cat milking.

I noticed you were looking at that.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

I pass on grass...all the time.

I promise not to interfere in your lives.

I really admire that.

I recently got transferred to triage.

I saw Jinxy come in last night and squat and relieve himself.

I should ask him to dance. What do you think?

I shouldn't say that, but...

I still... I feel horrible, I mean...

I think Greg is a lovely young man.

I think he's about to do it.

I think they call that the munchies.

I think you've got some serious issues.

I thought he would love my gift, being this big flower guy,

I thought I just bought some.

I thought there weren't any secrets inside the Circle of Trust.

I thought we were going to Kevin's house.

I told your dad I wouldn't touch you.

I want you to know that I really, I really, really love you and...

I want you to pick out your problem,

I want you to picture that problem in your mind.

I wanted to keep my options open. Nursing was just better for me.

I wanted to, honey,

I was in the area, got off early, thought you'd want to go eat.

I was just trying to get my bag into the overhead storage thing!

I was never in love with Kevin.

I was scared of your dad when he was a florist.

I whittled that out of beechwood.

I will bring you down to Chinatown.

I will bring you down, baby.

I will see you guys after lunch.

I wish you hadn't said that I hate cats.

I won't hurt you #

I won't tell.

I would definitely like to stay inside the Circle.

I...

I...I am planning a secret operation the day after the wedding.

I'd love to do some volunteer work.

I'd say rounding second base.

I'd say strong...

I'll do the intros. This is my sister Debbie.

I'll take it to the Byrnes' and tomorrow Robert and Deborah

I'm a very accepting person, Focker. All I ask for is honesty.

I'm being honest, really. Like what?

I'm everywhere, Focker.

I'm glad.

I'm going to glaze it onto a plate and put it next to the urn.

I'm gonna activate the alarm. It'll go off in T minus 16 seconds.

I'm gonna go throw up now.

I'm gonna head to the pool,

I'm gonna hold you to that. Circle of Trust.

I'm gonna pass on the swimming.

I'm in a time situation so just do it.

I'm in healthcare.

I'm in love with you.

I'm in row eight.

I'm just being humorous.

I'm just kidding. I'm just... OK.

I'm not raising my voice. This would be raising my voice!

I'm not so sure, Jack.

I'm not telling anyone anything until you answer some questions.

I'm not wearing that stupid pillow on my head.

I'm really sorry. I thought you knew.

I'm serious. I saw some beechwood outside.

I'm so happy you're home, sweetheart.

I'm sorry, Pam, but your dad is not retired.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It just slipped out.

I'm still not happy with it.

I'm sure they're wonderful, fascinating people.

I'm sure you're in the air by now,

I'm...

I'm...I'm Greg, Pam's friend.

I've always wanted to test drive a Benz.

I've said grace at many... a dinner table.

I've seen these advertised on TV.

I've seen these before but never up close.

If Florence Nightingale played some defense...

If he expressed his emotions in an artistic way.

If I can't trust you, Greg, then I have no choice

If I don't answer,

If it don't fit through the frame, you ain't carrying it on the plane.

If we're not back in an hour, we'll reschedule for the morning.

If you can get it from my kung fu grip, then you can have it.

If you would take the sticks out of your head you would see

If you're gonna follow in someone's footsteps, who better than Christ?

In 20 hours there's a wedding here, so I need my cesspool pumped now.

In Heaven.

In some crazy scheme to turn a profit, made more than one?

Into a little saucer.

Is one of the rarest and most beautiful flowers in existence.

Is that better than a nurse?

Is that what that is?

Is your name Gaylord Focker? Yes or no.

Isn't that sweet? Wow.

It just gets me...

It looks like a teddy bear.

It made me feel terrible. I wished I could do something.

It must have taken forever to build.

It should bloom in six months.

It takes a lot out of him.

It was an accident waiting to happen!

It was just a temporary solution until I could find the real Jinx.

It was...just a stupid sexual thing.

It works well in here.

It'll turn up, I'm sure.

It's a big day Saturday.

It's a ring.

It's a very important bag.

It's a work in progress.

It's actually really gross.

It's an altar. 0r you might call it a chuppah?

It's an antique polygraph machine.

It's beautiful. So, what got you into carpentering?

It's beautiful. What is it?

It's him!

It's just one of those things.

It's not a normal name, you know?

It's not like I have a bomb to blow up the plane.

It's not the autobahn!

It's OK.

It's OK. It's OK.

It's one row. Is it OK if I...?

It's Pam's. My pajamas are in the suitcase.

It's such a treat to have a home cooked meal like this.

It's too big. You got to check it.

It's very sad.

It's very special.

It's wonderful to know I've got a CIA spy hunter on my ass.

It's...brown...

Jack, I don't know what we're talking about.

Jack, I told you it wasn't me. It was Jinx.

Jack, this is a great party.

Jack, you didn't like me from the second I walked in here!

Jack. How are you doing?

Jamais les oiseaux chanteront pour toi

Jinx is a house cat. He can't go out. He lacks survival skills.

Jinx knows not to use that toilet. If he did, he'd never flush it.

Jinx!

Jinx! Come on, Jinx.

Jinxy cat, Jinxy cat

Jinxy cat, Jinxy cat, where are you?

Jinxy, no! Psst!

Jinxy, stop.

Jinxy! Aww...

Jinxy! Come here.

Jinxy! Jinxy!

Jinxy.

Just as well, Board's a killer.

Just try not to flush the toilet. It's a little quirky.

Just want to make sure you're OK since hitting that spike.

K dog... I'm pretty hungry.

Keep your... Agh!

Kevin is Bob's best man. This is his place.

Kevin was Pam's fiancé.

Kevin, your ex fiancé?

Ko Samui...

Ko Samui's an island off the coast of Thailand!

Lacrosse Camp?

Larry, keep floating. Denny, go deep.

Last name Foxtrot 0scar Charlie Kilo Echo Romeo,

Le ciel parait toujours plus bleu

Let me guess, is that one of your secret cameras, too, huh?

Let me show you something.

Let's go! Come on!

Let's just see if you really can flush the toilet, Jinxy.

Let's say you have kids and you wanna get out of the house, you know?

Like an unstoppable rebel force,

Like the top hat. It compliments you.

Like what you've done with the crib.

Listen to me, forget the gift.

Listen, I am so sorry.

Listen, I hope this lunch isn't too weird for you.

Listen... This weekend was a nightmare.

Little Engine That Could runt who could...

Lived by the sea... #

Look at this! He almost destroyed the wedding because he lied!

Look at this. It's a flower pot... with the dirt in it.

Look how Bob did it.

Look, he's been lying from the start.

Look, I got an engagement ring in the bag,

Look, I understand you've probably had premarital relations with my Pam,

Looks complicated. Now, these aren't 100% accurate, right?

Lunatic. You're a lunatic!

Mais quand tu es fou d'amour

Martha... Oh, no.

Maybe he uses marijuana for medicinal purposes. People do.

Maybe he's nervous, too, huh?

Maybe it's time you think about what Pam wants.

Maybe... You know what? Maybe Jinx flushed it.

Me, too, Daddy.

Meet you upstairs.

Mew mew mew mew. Mew mew mew mew.

Mew, mew, mew.

Might as well go all out and pop for the full size.

Miss you every day.

Mm hm.

Mm hm.

Mm hm.

Mm hm.

Mm hm. Enjoy your flight.

Mm hm. That's true.

Mm, I... I don't think so.

Mm, yeah. I think I got it.

Mm.

Mmm.

Mom and Dad...really don't know Bob very well. Dad was OK with this?

Morning, Greg.

Morning.

Mr. Byrnes?

Mr. Jinx.

My dad sees smoking as a sign of weakness.

My eye! Oh, my eye!

My father was never in the rare flower business.

My goodness! What is that?

My Mother...by Jack Byrnes.

My sister had a cat and the cat birthed a litter of kittens.

N n no, it was rare. It was a little rare for my taste,

Never a robin to sing for you

Never a robin to sing for you

Never another spring for you

Never another spring for you

Nevermore,

Nevermore,

Nice do. Nice do.

Nice stench. Really on a roll there, bud.

Nice.

Night, see you in the morning, right?

Night. Why'd you give him my favorite pair?

No doubt.

No more lies, understand? No more lies.

No peeking. Did we eat pot roast for dinner tonight?

No, because Goose dies in the end.

No, because Goose dies in the end.

No, Dina. Not a lot. In fact, Jack, I should clarify this.

No, he used to be, but we can change that.

No, he was a psychological profiler.

No, I didn't...think you would.

No, I don't know. Why don't you tell me?

No, I'm not gonna kill myself, but I might as well... #

No, I'm sorry about that, chief.

No, it's not OK. Tell that to Dr. Torquemada and his Inquisition.

No, it's not that bad.

No, Jack. Not traditionally.

No, Jinx. Mr. Jinx. I called you half an hour ago.

No, Mom, triage is a unit of the ER. That's where all the top nurses work.

No, no, it was nothing.

No, no, no, Jack. No, I'm...I'm not. I...

No, no, no. I'd love to.

No, no, not on the lawn. Stay where you are!

No, no!

No, no. I rent.

No, not at all. He's the sweetest man in the world.

No, seriously. I wanna try to respect his rules, OK?

No, there was. We just never really sat down like a family like this.

No, wrong number. We're out of Collins, so I'll go to the store.

No!

No! Dude, no. She said I could come up and borrow some clothes from you.

No! I was just reading up about...

No! No!

No! No! Jinx! Shit!

No! Thinking about anything permanent?

No! We cannot cancel the rehearsal for some stupid cat.

No.

No. Mm mm.

No. The answer is you cannot.

No. We have the gum.

Nobody has ever been good enough for your Pam.

Norm.

Not about Pam, we're talking about you.

Not Glen. Greg is afraid of the ball.

Not in my own den. What are you two doing?

Not like this you haven't. Take a look.

Not many men in your profession.

Not mine. It's not.

Not now it's storage. Greg's in Deb's room and she'll bunk with you.

Not tomorrow, now!

Not too bad. About 70 hours, which isn't bad,

Nothing. I just...I just feel like, you know, we're so close.

Nothing. Your mother walked in and I yanked the thingies off.

Now I want you to scare your problems away.

Now I'm gonna ask you some questions.

Nursing.

Oh, and...

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

Oh, champagne! I thought we could celebrate with some bubbly.

Oh, Daddy, it's Jinx!

Oh, don't worry about the little covert op, all right?

Oh, for Christ's sakes!

Oh, for once in my life

Oh, Greg, that was lovely.

Oh, Greg. Kevin and I were only engaged for a month

Oh, he did more than OK, trust me.

Oh, honey, it doesn't matter if he did well in some test.

Oh, honey, why don't you read Greg your poem?

Oh, how exciting

Oh, how exciting

Oh, I get it. Like, hidden.

Oh, I thought Deb told you, Dr. Andy can't make the wedding.

Oh, isn't that nice?

Oh, it's a sculpture I found in Greg's jacket.

Oh, it's my sister. Hello. Hi.

Oh, Jack, that's what you had your sources check out?

Oh, jeez. I just realized something.

Oh, Jesus, Focker!

Oh, let me ask you a question, Greg.

Oh, Lil' Kim. She's phat.

Oh, look, honey. Greg brought us a present!

Oh, my God, Greg! I was sure I told you.

Oh, my God!

Oh, no, Dina, Jack can talk Thai. Jack talks Thai very well.

Oh, no, he...

Oh, no, no, Greg, we made up the pullout for you down in the den.

Oh, no, no, you didn't, Dad.

Oh, no!

Oh, no. He doesn't want to hear that.

Oh, no. Oh, no, please.

Oh, now, cut that out!

Oh, now, Greg, you have a very unique last name.

Oh, OK. You'll be the ring bearer for now.

Oh, one more thing.

Oh, poor Greg got spit up on by a baby.

Oh, poor Kevin looks lonely.

Oh, right, right. Uh, the Jerusalem.

Oh, shit. How'd you get here?

Oh, shoot! I forgot to change my shoes.

Oh, that wasn't the airline, was it?

Oh, that's great.

Oh, that's just... a little something from me.

Oh, there he is!

Oh, wow!

Oh, yeah? How do you know my bag is safe below?

Oh, yes, you damn well will!

Oh, yes.

Oh, you poor thing! There wasn't enough food to go around?

Oh, yucky! What smells of old sour milk?

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Sorry. Sorry.

Oh! That's... Yeah, makes sense.

Oh! They didn't!

Oh! Yes! You mean me and Pam. I'd love to talk to you about that.

Oh! You need some clothes.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Hello.

Oh. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That...

Oh. Jesus, Jack, you scared me.

Oh. Just like it's spelled.

Oh. OK, cos Pam said I should sleep in Debbie's room, but...

Oh. That's a...that's a lovely vase.

Oh. Well, thanks, Jack.

Oh...

Oh...

Oh... No, Pam. No.

Oh...dear God...

Ohh

Ohh!

OK, bye.

OK, can we change the subject, perhaps?

OK, go wake up Denny and borrow some of his.

OK, good. Come on, let's go inside and have breakfast.

OK, I already... I already described it.

OK, I'll try.

OK, it's time for our problem of the week.

OK, just, uh, keep checking, please, and I'll call back. Thanks.

OK, let's talk a little operation...

OK, Mr. B. I better get back to playing host.

OK, thank you.

OK, the sun is out, the grill is hot and the pool is luke,

OK, well, so was this. Kevin's and my...

OK, where's the fire, huh?

OK, you know what? Get your grubby little paws off of my bag!

OK?

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK. All right. Where's Denny's room?

OK. Fine.

Or the Long Island Expressway, is that understood?

P H phat.

Pam told me she let you in on a little secret of mine last night.

Pam, Daddy's planning a covert operation in Thailand

Pam, did you know that your father started his own business?

Pam, don't you see? Your dad has turned you against me!

Pam, he seems wonderful!

Pam, I don't hate cats.

Pam, I...

Pam, isn't that your special friend?

Pam, it's not like I'm a rabbi or something.

Pam...

Physical? Like what, like, you worked out together?

Picture him without the stupid cap.

Please calm down.

Please step aside, sir.

Please tell me that's not true, Greg.

Please, we really want to hear it.

Plus you got another guy in the house to leave the seat up.

Plus, your dad caught up with me at the airport.

Pop pop, pop pop, pop pop pop!

Pretend it's right there in front of you.

Psst! Jinx! Psst, psst!

Puff, the magic dragon

Pumps?

Put your address here and we'll ship it when it surfaces.

Quand tu es fou d'amour

Quand tu es fou d'amour

Raise your arms, sir.

Really! In that case, I'd better get upstairs

Really?

Really? Dad, that's great!

Really? We spruced up for the wedding.

Really. Huh, a gift.

References, experience all check out fine.

Regarding Pam in any way, I'm sorry, OK?

Relax, relax. The needles are jumping.

Right here in this decorative artifact.

Right.

Roses. Deb's favorite!

Rough and ready, yeah. They ran out of Collins mix.

Seems like the skies

Seems like the skies are always gray

Seriously, do you think that sounds good?

Service!

Setting the house on fire, it kind of went off track.

She said that? She said those exact words?

She won't be able to say no.

Shh shh!

Shirt fit OK, Greg?

Shit!

Since I was in third grade.

Sir, if a bag is this large...

Sir! Sir!

Sit down.

Smile. You're on nanny camera!

So I can't open it here, can't I just carry it on?

So if I can interest you in a swim and a BBQ, just follow me.

So if I set you up can you spike it?

So it's kind of, everybody wins.

So the poets sing

So there is still something I'd like to talk about.

So tow it.

So what if he took the MCATs? He's still not good enough for Pam.

So what is it? What's...? What's the new venture?

So when you get this, will you please call me?

So you hire a baby sitter, someone you think you can trust.

So you know what I mean. There's lots to be made with the biotech stuff.

So you lied about everything? The cat, the fire...

So you wanna go have lunch?

So, it's all good.

So, that plus we had a lot of pets...

So, things are going real well for you, aren't they, Kevo?

So, uh, Greg, how's your job?

So, um, I guess you'll get this when you get home.

So, what, he's in the CIA? He was a spy? He is a spy...?

So, you didn't want to go for the MD?

Some people, uh...

Somebody had a little visit from the hair fairy.

Sometimes these catheters can pinch a little bit.

Sometimes things just come together in their own...kookie sort of way.

Sometimes you think that your luck has changed

Sorry, folks. Had to pay a visit to the urinal fairy.

Sorry, we're only boarding rows nine and above. You'll have to wait.

Sorry.

Sounds like they're hard to please.

Speaking of growing to love you...

Stay back. Call 911.

Step aside, sir.

Stop making fun of me for being a nurse?

Sure.

Sure. He could, uh, whittle a private dance floor for you two.

Sure. I think so.

Sweetest man in the world and I love you.

Symbolizes...

Take a look at this, Greg.

Take five. We got a specialist.

Teat?

Thank you, Daddy.

Thank you, Greg. That was interesting, too.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. And what's your most expensive bottle of champagne?

Thank you. Oh, yeah.

Thank you. Thanks.

Thank you. These'll do just fine.

Thanks, Greg.

Thanks, Jack. Glad I could help.

Thanks.

That "circle of trust" thing, that's mine.

That all I have to do is do what I wanna do,

That guy in the parking lot is my travel agent!

That I am finished with the checking of the bags conversation!

That I understand why you did it, and...

That is so sweet of you. Isn't that a nice gesture?

That smell, Bob, is our shit.

That was a long time ago, Pam.

That was his name. Geppetto.

That was just his cover.

That you're a fool

That you're a fool

That your loved ones are safe with this stranger?

That'd be great. Good idea.

That'll be fine. Bob, Greg will be your second usher.

That's a bunch of malarkey.

That's a ride, man!

That's all right. You didn't know.

That's great.

That's great.

That's it? You don't have a nice $80 or $100 bottle or something?

That's my future son in law. What do you think?

That's my girl!

That's OK. Just be honest about it. There's some things I hate.

That's OK. See anything interesting?

That's OK. You know I can't resist a man in nurse's shoes.

That's our Gran Gran.

That's right.

That's right. Mi casa es su casa.

That's right. Thank you, Jack.

That's very sweet. What a nice surprise.

That's what 19 months in a Vietnamese prison camp'll do to you.

That's what I said I wanted cos it is a black Samsonite suitcase.

That's wonderful.

The angel from heaven.

The bulb of a Jerusalem Tulip.

The Byrnes Family Circle of Trust.

The fact is, Greg lied to you.

The fact is, Greg, with the knowledge you've been given

The fire or the cat or...

The house that we grew up in was originally erected

The matter, Greg RN, is when this toilet is flushed, it runs.

The only way I would let go

The other day, I saw this dog, he had, like, a gimp, he couldn't...

Then he proposed.

Then he tried to beat us back to get rid of the evidence!

Then tell these guys that I'm not a terrorist.

Then, is there something you want to tell me?

There he is.

There must have been 30 of them.

There was this runt, this sweet little,

There's just something about him that's a little off.

These last 10 months...have been the happiest of my life.

These ought to do it. Here you go, chief.

They brought in a Himalayan a little while ago.

They can tell if someone's lying.

They don't sell out like dogs.

They saved his SAT scores, too, in case you're interested.

They tape as soon as they sense any movement.

They'd love to hear about your rendezvous in the parking lot.

They're really... Erm...

Things have been going so great lately.

This car's...

This is a lot to take in, honey. I'm sorry.

This is a special day...

This is Greg's room, Dad.

This is so nice!

This is unacceptable!

This is very disappointing, Greg.

This isn't a sculpture. It's a device for smoking marijuana.

This weekend has made me doubt that I could even survive in your family.

Thought you might like to see this.

Till I met you.

To Greg!

To love thee more dearly,

To quite strong.

To see thee more clearly,

To smoke a...smoke...

To the...uh...teat.

To...follow thee more nearly,

Top Gun was a very popular movie when we dated. That's it.

True. Interesting color. You pick it?

Trust me, your dad's gonna love this gift.

Try to enjoy the weekend, honey.

Tu es tout perdu tout seul

Tu restes fou jusqu'au dernier jour

Tu te retournes y'a quelqu'un qui te gène

Uh oh! Wasn't your friend Andy supposed to be here by now?

Uh, no.

Uh, nursing.

Uh, well, Greg's *******, Dad. You know that.

Uh, yeah. It's a Taurus.

Uh... Yeah, yeah. OK, sure.

Uh...how about a little of both...

Um, good, Pam. Thanks for asking.

Um...

Um...Bob, why doesn't Greg stand in for Andy, be the usher?

Understood.

Unless you have some objection?

Unless you wanna go to prison, you better tell me the truth.

Until she broke up with him?

Until we meet...

Use a southern accent and ask for the vegetarian special.

Wagging their little tails, happy to see you.

Wait, wait, excuse me...

Wait, wait, wait. Your name's Gay Focker?

Wake up your brother, who I never met, to borrow his clothes?

Want to spend the rest of my life with.

Wanted to get up there but couldn't really get access to the...

Was it undercooked?

We are, sweetie. This is Kevin's new house.

We can hide them in mirrors, lamps, you name it.

We checked every yard, nobody's seen him.

We could get through anything.

We found you! We found you!

We had a little plane trouble.

We have a pre activity briefing in about 32 minutes.

We just let him wander the streets without food, water or toilet?

We like to think of her as watching over us as we eat.

We should be all right with only one usher.

We were gonna get a mid size,

We worked out a lot of our issues.

We'll call your row momentarily.

We'll get right to it as soon as we get back.

We'll have some fun! I'll show you how it works.

We're not living together.

We're now boarding all rows, please. All remaining rows.

We've been through this with every boyfriend since,

Well, did you lie to him?

Well, don't forget he's retired.

Well, don't forget he's retired.

Well, he asked my dad first.

Well, I didn't tape record her, Jack, but that's the impression I got.

Well, I get paid, but also it feels, you know, good,

Well, I guess I'm gonna go to the airport now.

Well, I heard a noise so I came to see if everything was OK.

Well, I'm not in junior high any more, OK?

Well, in a funny way you've already seen Deb's ring.

Well, it was a horrible thing.

Well, it's OK if you hate cats, Greg.

Well, looks like we've got another wedding to plan.

Well, Puff's just the name of the boy's magical dragon.

Well, so was JC! Wow. You're in good company.

Well, thanks. I appreciate it.

Well, that's my... sappy, romantic idea.

Well, then tell me the truth.

Well, they say geniuses pick green.

Well, they...went to Lacrosse Camp together,

Well, we'll look forward to that.

Well, why doesn't Greg go with you?

Were you sniffing my boxers, dude?

What am I gonna do?

What are you gonna say next that you set Kevin's altar on fire?

What did you tell him?

What do you mean?

What do you...? You're a Wall Street trader, an investment guy?

What does it matter?

What does that mean?

What have you ever milked?

What have you. I went in and just simply...

What is the matter with you?

What kind of a family doesn't sit down for dinner?

What the heck?

What this poor boy did on some test scores?

What you driving, a Ford?

What, middle school?

What?

What?

What? No, what poem?

What's he talking about?

What's that smell?

What's that?

What's the matter, you can't sleep?

What's this look like to you?

What's with the robe?

When I gave Bob the OK, I put him in touch with my diamond guy

When you yell at a dog, his tail goes between his legs

When you're a fool

When you're a fool in love

When you're a fool in love

When you're a fool in love

Where's my widdle girl?

Where's the cat?!

Which one did you milk then?

Which, I was told,

While the cancer ate away your organs,

Who is, Jack?

Who would've thought it wasn't really about a dragon, huh?

Who's gentle and kind

Whoa, yes!

Whoo, she is a tomcat!

Why did you take the test?

Why didn't you wake me up?

Why don't I get you a chair, Greg?

Why don't we let the kids freshen up?

Why don't you try that on?

Why not?

Why would I need privacy?

Why? Now we don't have to smell kitty litter.

Will meet beneath it to become man and wife.

Will you devote yourself entirely to her for the rest of your life?

Will you marry me?

Will you marry me?

With a little bit of black...trim.

With a near full septic tank and toilet running all night,

With your eyes still closed...

Without her father's permission... Jack?

Would anybody care for some of 0yster Bay's finest champagne?

Would be if you tried to pry it from my dead, lifeless fingers, OK?

Would you be honest and faithful?

Would you lighten up a lot?

Would you react like this if he shoved bamboo shoots up my nails?

Would you stop? You're doing great, OK?

Would you support my daughter the way she deserves to be?

Wow, Dina, everything looks fabulous.

Wow, Thailand. Thanks a lot, JB. That's some...

Wow! Kev!

Wow! Looks like somebody got an "A" in wood shop.

Wow.

Wow. That was very thoughtful of him.

Wow. That's great, to give something back like that.

Yeah huh. Right.

Yeah, but he asked her and she said yes.

Yeah, ha ha!

Yeah, I overheard that. So he had to ask his permission?

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, I'd have to be pretty high.

Yeah, it's always been kind of a hobby.

Yeah, it's fine. What's up?

Yeah, just trying to make good time.

Yeah, strike while the iron's hot. Now's the time.

Yeah, that'd be grea...

Yeah, that's me.

Yeah, that's... Didn't they just meet a few months ago?

Yeah, the roof is probably a better idea.

Yeah, they did.

Yeah, they've been amazing, but... What's going on?

Yeah, very nice.

Yeah, what?

Yeah, yeah. Jack.

Yeah, you check. I'll call back.

Yeah, you put this around the neck and the ribbons are for the rings.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. 0ne of my favorites.

Yeah. In two weeks.

Yeah. It was fun.

Yeah. Like the way you found Jinxy at that animal shelter, huh?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yes, he's very talented.

Yes, I do. I'm a big fan.

Yes, I thought with my experience, why let retirement stop me?

Yes, I've tried every shelter in the north shore.

Yes, she did.

Yes, that would be great, thanks.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Breast pumps.

Yes. Later, they'll collect rainfall and make a tiny birdbath.

You and my dad worked out a lot of your issues?

You are now on the inside of what I like to call

You are such a good God to us. A kind and gentle and...

You are?

You been waiting long?

You can get a whole bunch of Mumm's.

You can milk anything with nipples.

You can see "Voight" backwards on your forehead.

You can work in several different areas.

You can't say "bomb" on airplanes.

You come home, they're...

You could have a problem.

You didn't say you were that close.

You do hate cats.

You don't have to do that.

You gave me courage.

You go ahead and get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning.

You got a real gentle touch there, Doctor.

You got to spike those, Focker! You got to spike.

You got... What do you use, unleaded, regular unleaded?

You gotta be careful if you call here.

You guys grab your suits and I'll meet you at the pool.

You haven't seen his new tricks?

You know how that stuff just goes. Back in a jif.

You know what?

You know, if nursing doesn't work out, you have a career in espionage.

You know, just...

You know, something about that ball of fur

You know, where the guy gave you the passports and documents?

You like Peter, Paul, and Mary?

You must be Greg.

You must have had vegetables fresher than that growing up on a farm.

You need that assurance, do you?

You OK, sweetie? You're acting weird.

You prefer an emotionally shallow animal?

You scared me.

You see, in the picture your cat has an all black tail,

You see, when Jack had to retire for health reasons...

You should know the truth. I love you too much to see you get hurt.

You spray painted his tail to make him look like Jinxy, didn't you?

You stupid son of a bitch! You just blew it!

You the bandleader? Go over song selection with Bob. Bob!

You threatened that stewardess.

You tried to milk him, you sick son of a bitch!

You wanna play, pops? Let's play.

You wanna talk about truth and honesty?

You want honesty?

You were supposed to make that left at the light...Focker.

You what?

You won't believe it, he even taught him to use the potty.

You wrote a beautiful poem about your mother.

You'd be surprised how accurate they are.

You'll need something in case your suitcase doesn't show up.

You're a little wild man at that wheel!

You're engaged? Congratulations!

You're getting married in two weeks? That's...a little soon.

You're in a real mess.

You're in luck. There is room...

You're in no immediate danger.

You're my best friend, and you're also the woman that I love, and...

You're out there on your own

You're out there on your own

You're out there on your own

You're sick, you know that?

You're telling me the **** don't pray, honey?

You're the most adorable, loving,

Your dad keeps you guys under a close watch, huh?

Your daddy's best friend!

Your little Pamcake's got it a lot worse than I do.

Your name was Angela,

Your own bathroom.

Yup. Just got to do one more thing.

0...dear Lord, three things we pray.

0f course.

0f course. Yeah.

0nce he got used to it, I took it away.

0nce he got used to it, I took it away.

0r does he hook all your boyfriends up to his little machine?

0r your little phone call in Thai?

0therwise, step off, bitch!

0ver by the tree, right?

23 minutes. Thanks.

531, New York, La Guardia. Check it.

'I don't think so, sir.' Really, you don't? Hey!

(Bob) Way to go, Greg! Gave us a little scare, huh?

(Dina) Where is Greg? In the rest room.

(Jack) Pam, help your sister. I'm sorry, Deb.

(Kevin) Let's go! We're getting creamed.

(Larry) Cat got out! Cat got out! All right...

(Linda) Thanks for driving, Greg. (Tires squealing)

(Man speaking Thai) (Speaking Thai)

(Meow) Oh!

(Meow) Shit!

(Phone) Oh, hold on.

(Tires squealing) (Dina) Whoa, Nelly!

(Typing) Did you want to check any bags?

2:35? 'Affirmative.'

All right, look sharp. Let's play ball!

And her fiancé Dr. Bob. Oh, call me Bob...MD.

And I don't... Wait, hang on a sec.

Any luck? No, they're still looking.

Are you a male nurse? Yes.

Are you a Mr. Focker? Yes.

Are you a pot head, Focker? No! No. What?

Are you a pot head? No.

Are you? Yeah.

Arrest me! Assaulting an...

B00! B00!

Because you love Pam? Yes.

Both our daughters are in love. That's what I'm worried about.

Bring it on! Must've cost a fortune.

But you didn't pick it. (Dina) Jack!

Bye. Have fun, you guys.

Coming, Dad. You gotta get going.

Dad, Greg'll find him. What?

Dearly beloved... (Crash)

Denny! How's the tux fit? Dad. Uh...

Denny. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Did you do this? Answer the question.

Did you fly on an airplane today? Yes, I did.

Did you get me taken off the plane? Put your hands over there.

Did you want me to book this seat? OK. All right.

Drives better than a Taurus, huh? Yeah.

Fine. Come on, Greg. I'll be right up.

Focker? Jack. Ready to go?

Get in the car, honey. Hurry up. OK, OK.

Get me your supervisor. 'He's on a break.'

Glen, don't be afraid of the ball. It's Greg.

Good luck, Greg. Thanks, Cameron.

Good. Yeah.

Greg's in medicine, too, Larry. Oh, really? What field?

Have a good sleep. You, too.

Have you ever smoked pot? Yes.

He's gonna love you. I promise. As much as he loves Dr. Bob?

Hey, it's the man of the hour. Hey hey!

Hey, Larry, why don't I drive? Good idea!

Hey, look at this! Kevo!

Hey. Hi.

Hi, I'm Pam's father, Jack Byrnes. It's great to meet you.

Hi, sweetie. How're you doing?

Hmm? What's your name? 'Joy.'

Honey, I don't... Greg, shut up.

Honey? Hmm?

How did you get this? I have my sources, too.

I bet you would, Panama Red. (Larry s******s)

I didn't do anything, Jack. Yeah, I know.

I don't know what you mean. You don't, huh?

I don't need a jacket. It's cold out. Hold on.

I love you. I love you, too.

I mean, well, I don't... Yes or no?

I shouldn't. Why? You've nothing to hide.

I thought you said you told them. Well...

I thought you'd like to sleep late. Not when I'm a guest.

I thought your name was Greg. It is.

I want you to say "boo"! Boo!

I'll get it, honey. Oh, thanks, Mom.

I'll get that. I'll get it.

I'm Dina. Welcome to 0yster Bay. Thanks.

I'm not gonna swim... I'm not taking no for an answer.

I'm really sorry about that. That's OK.

I'm sure it'll show up. Yeah.

Iceman? Sorry, is it special for you two?

Impressive, isn't it? Quite.

In what? Borrow some of Dad's clothes.

Isn't that something? That's incredible!

It's everything! The cat!

It's late. I know it's late.

Jack, yes or no? Ever?

Jack. What's he talking about, Dad?

Jack... Honey, relax.

Jeez, take it easy! Benz drives like a dream.

Jinx isn't up here. The neighbors haven't seen him.

Jinxy... Uh, let me see that photo again.

Keep it on the low down. Down low.

Kevin your old boyfriend? Thanks, Dad.

Larry and Linda. Got it.

Larry, I missed one shot. It was a big shot!

Let me and Pam sleep together? Don't push it, Focker.

Let's do it! Good shot! Way to go, Deb!

Let's go. Hurry, hurry. Bye, guys.

Mm hm. Deb said that Dad loves him.

Mm. Yeah.

Nice serve, pal. All right!

Nice shot, Maverick! Sweet setup, Iceman!

No, Greg. Stop it. Stop what, Iceman?

No, I don't... Come on! Why not?

No, no. No, we have to.

No, sorry, that bag won't fit. I'm not checking my bag.

No, there's no problem. So try it on.

No! Really? Cos I think that...

No. OK, then shut your pie hole

No. I know. So there's no problem.

Not on the lawn! Kevin!

Now, have you two been mm mm mm? Mother!

Oh, Dad. Now we can't have the rehearsal.

Oh, good. They found your suitcase. Yeah.

Oh, gosh... What...?!

Oh, honey. Yeah?

Oh, I missed you so much, Pamcake. I missed you too, Popjack.

Oh, my gosh. Oh.

Oh, no, he didn't? Yeah, he did.

Oh! Oh, my God!

Oh! Ohh!

Oh. Argh!

OK, honey? Sure.

OK, I'll leave them in the car. No! He'll check there.

OK, sign here, please. Thank you.

OK. Good.

OK. I'll help you.

Pam. Yeah?

Poem! Poem! Please?

Premium. Uh huh.

Say hello. Wave to Greg. Hello, Jinx.

Sir, that's not gonna fit. Wait a second.

Sir, you'll have to check that. I got it.

Sweetie, what are you doing? Larry said I could drive.

Thank you. (Dina) You're welcome.

Thanks a lot. No problem.

That's a good explanation. Think so?

That's good. No, really, what field?

That's great. 0ur cameras are motion activated.

That's not on the form. No one's called me by it

The bride to be. Congratulations. Hi.

The MCATs... I didn't lie about the MCATs.

Want me to massage your neck? No, no.

Well, he's home now. Yes.

Well, I'll show you. We don't have to do it tonight.

Well... No. They do.

What about you, honey? No, I carried on.

What are you doing? What?

What? Pam's middle name.

What's that? Meet his parents.

What's the matter with you? It's only a game!

Whatever. Let's go.

Who, Daddy and me? No, Kevin and you.

Y... Yes or no?

Yeah, kinda blend in. Great.

Yeah. Hm.

Yes! Jack just turned.

Yes. Would you let us live our lives?

You OK, sweetie? Yeah.

You said bomb on an airplane What's wrong with that?

You serious? No, I did OK.

You tell anybody I wasn't here? No. They think you're asleep,

You threatened her with a bomb! I said I didn't have a bomb!

..a marijuana cigarette.

..in holy matrimony.

..not only my best friend,

..pumps.

..the doctor thought it would be the****utic

..the level of my commitment to her.

'0oh, hey, check my pulse on this question.

'A question? Sure...

'and I'll bring the rascal over.'

'As your call is important to us it will be answered in 27 minutes.

'Aw, look at that. Nice, Jack. Hi.

'Can you deal with THAT?!'

'Customer satisfaction always comes first.

'Damn!'

'Did they teach you THAT...? They teach you THAT?

'Do I think you're a psycho? Yes.

'Gaylord Focker, Atlantic American flight 27. Departs 2:35.'

'Guess who wandered over here today?

'Hello, Jack.

'I can't hear you. Jerusalem tulipoosy posly lit...?

'Jack, it's Hank from next door.

'Mr. Jinx. He's not wearing his collar, but it's Jinxy.

'Not too quick on the uptake, huh?

'Oh, yeah, what's that, Jack?

'Please enter your four digit code.'

'Press 1 to talk to a representative.'

'So just give me a jingle when you guys get home,

'Surprising for a big CIA pulse detector.

'We are closed. Please call back.'

'We have heavy call logging.

'What? Oh, you don't know shit about flowers. You want me to what?

'What? Oh, you like my little...gift?

'What? The Jerusalem what?

'What's that, Jack? What?

'Why don't you ask Denny? Not onto that one, huh?

'You thought "Puff" was just the name of the boy's magic dragon?

'You're a big, fat, CIA man, huh?

"0peration Ko Samui"?

"Focker"!

"Gaylord"?

"I have nipples. Can you milk me?"

"Let him wander the streets without food, water or toilet...

(All cheering and greeting)

(All laugh)

(All talking)

(All) No!

(All) To Greg!

(All) Wow!

(Banging)

(Beep)

(Beep)

(Bob) Hey, nice driving, Mario!

(Bob) Home, home, home.

(Bob) Let's go. Come on, Kev. Serve it up!

(Both grunting)

(Both) Pamela Martha Focker.

(Both) Shortstack, shortstack, coming up!

(Chainsaw whining)

(Chatter continues)

(Chewing)

(Choir) Show me a man

(Chuckling) What are you doing?

(Clerk) Enjoy your flight.

(Courier) Whatever.

(Debbie screams)

(Debbie wailing)

(Denny) Who gave him the keys? OK, we're out.

(Door creaks)

(Entering numbers)

(Greg) 'Oh! Shit!'

(Greg) Beautiful.

(Greg) OK, no jokes.

(Greg) OK.

(Greg) You made a gift? (Pam) Greg.

(Hyperventilating)

(Jack) 'Hey, Kevo! 12:15. Time to start the barbecue.'

(Jack) 'Pamcake, Pop's got your suit out here.'

(Jack) Looking for something, Greg?

(Jack) This is Pam's cat, Jinxy.

(Jack) We like it.

(Kevin) Cold buffet's on the left, wine and champagne on the right.

(Kevin) I was able to salvage this wood from an old chapel in Nantucket.

(Kids) Yeah!

(Kissing)

(Knocks)

(Larry) Amazing house! (Bob) Not bad, huh?

(Larry) Does he have a license? (Denny) Yeah, a license to kill.

(Larry) Everybody comfortable?

(Larry) Nice one, Nurse!

(Laughter)

(Laughter)

(Linda) Honey, I'll drive.

(Linda) I'm gonna be sick.

(Linda) Maybe you should drive, honey.

(Linda) OK, now, Greg... Greg?

(Linda) What a ride.

(Man) I know we haven't been together that long,

(Man) This is not part of my job description.

(Meow)

(Meow)

(Meowing)

(Music starts on stereo)

(Needles jumping)

(PA) 'Welcome to La Guardia Airport. Please follow the signs...'

(Pam clears throat)

(Pam sighs)

(Pam) And the wedding's on Sunday?

(Pam) Aw, leave him alone.

(Pam) Easy on the sarcasm. Humor is wasted on my parents.

(Pam) It's great. I just thought you were getting champagne.

(Pam) Jinxy!

(Pam) Jinxy. Jinxy!

(Pam) So do you! Look at you!

(Pam) The house is amazing. (Kevin) Thank you.

(Pam) This is great!

(Pam) Yeah.

(Paper tearing)

(Phone)

(Phone)

(Phone) 'Welcome to Atlantic American Airways.

(Rap music)

(Revving engine)

(Revving engine)

(Scoffs) Jack can't talk Thai.

(Sniffing)

(S******ing)

(S******s)

(Through PA) Thank you for waiting.

(Tires screech)

(Tires screeching)

(Typing)

(Whining and crashing)

(Whispering) That urn holds the remains of Jack's mother.

(Whispers) Mr. Jinx.

(Wolf whistle)

(Yells)

$1,137 and 11 cents.