💬 Clueless (1995)

A bunch of junk

A dress.

A licensed driver with nothing to do?

A night alone with Christian?

A second notice for three outstanding tickets.

A very important piece.

A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, Daddy.

Aah!

Aah! Hey!

Aah! No!

Aah! Stop it!

About violations of the Clean Air Act.

Act like Travis is saying something funny.

Actually, going all the way

Actually, I'm going to a Tree People meeting.

Actually, if you take Wilshire to Canon,

After that, Dionne's virginity

Ah choo!

All of a sudden, we were laughing and...

All of you, come with me.

All right, Cher!

All right, we're off.

All right?

All right.

All right. Bye, hon.

All right. Look, I'm really sorry.

Already? Great.

Also, sometimes you have to show a little skin.

Always have him wanting more.

Always trying to get us involved

Am I some sort of a mentally challenged airhead?

Amateur skateboarding league.

Amber will take the con position.

Amber, reply?

Amber!

An a what a?

An evil male had broken my heart.

And anything you can do

And beautiful and...

And Buns Of Steel

And costume decisions.

And could the suicide attempts

And cover it up with a backwards cap,

And Daddy is so good,

And Daddy was way grateful.

And Daddy would kill me if he knew where I was.

And deserted me.

And escorted them right over there.

And even though I was alone,

And everyone

And he can't afford to lose that time.

And he didn't say that.

And he earns minor ducats at a thankless job.

And he's a hideous dancer.

And he's all, Where were you today?

And her slip is always showing,

And his idea of acting like a family is to criticize me.

And I need to be found

And I really, really didn't want to call him.

And I still don't know what to do about Mr. Hall.

And I'm already going north.

And if I did, I'd come back someday and find her

And in the grand tradition of P.E. teachers,

And it takes that long to get there.

And lots of little guys.

And make her well dressed and popular.

And my designated driver tried to attack me.

And my girlfriends be telling me

And my hair will shine like the sea

And one semester here.

And put on some baggy pants

And reading one nonschool book a week.

And restrained them before they've wandered

And see the new Christian Slater.

And she has more lipstick on her teeth than on her mouth.

And Sparatacus.

And that's the Persian Mafia.

And the body to go with it

And the boy can dress.

And the clog knocking me out

And then they think of sex.

And then...

And they're all like this.

And to tell you the truth,

And took his sucky Italian roast.

And unconvincing.

And we all laugh, of course,

And we were discussing the difference

And with that in mind,

And you almost killed someone.

And you can't B.S. your way through it.

And you lose weight by cutting it small.

And you're the one I've always planned to be...

And, Josh, spare me your lectures

And, like, three pieces of licorice.

And, like, we're expected to swoon?

And, uh, well, what?

And?

Any comments? Elton?

Any further insights?

Anything happens to my daughter,

Anyway, why should I care what Josh thinks?

Anyways, I got the tape, right?

Are having a party.

Are in this dramatic relationship.

Are you going to take me somewhere

Are you O.K.?

Are you saying... you care about me?

Are you some kind of idiot?

Are you suffering from buyer's remorse or something?

Are you sure that's fat free?

As far as everyone's concerned,

As if!

As soon as I get my license,

Ask her questions.

ASL.

At least for me. I want to be a lawyer.

At the coffeehouse without chin pubes.

Aw, honey, you baked.

Away

Be quiet, you idiot!

Be seeing ya.

Because Christian is brutally hot,

Because he's in his postadolescent idealistic phase?

Because we both know what it's like

Besides, the PC term is hymenally challenged.

Between high school girls and college girls.

Blot.

Boy, considering how clueless she was,

Boy, getting off the freeway makes you realize

Boy! That came out of nowhere!

Break me off a piece of that.

Breathe, breathe. Breathe in. Breathe.

Bring me back up!

But Daddy says I can't take the Jeep out

But far be it for me to deny anyone else.

But I can make you some coffee if you'd like.

But I couldn't do that stuff with Josh.

But I don't get how guys dress today.

But I like to pretend she still watches over me.

But I need something to learn on.

But I suppose there's no harm in finding one for myself also.

But I thought you or Miss Geist might like it.

But I took the towel as a souvenir.

But I was brutally rebuffed.

But I'm gonna feel this way till I'm 6 feet underground

But it is another to be fried all day.

But it will be a gown.

But it's Dionne. It might be important.

But it's soothing

But my enjoyment was put on pause

But not necessarily misogynistic undertone.

But now I don't know how to act around him.

But people came that, like, did not RSVP,

But seriously,

But sometimes I have more fun vegging out

But this is not why I come here.

But this is older, see?

But thy eternal summer shall not fade."

But tolerance is always a good lesson.

But we don't do it here

But we should do something good for mankind

But what brought on this surge of empowerment?

But what makes somebody a better person?

But you could take Tai on your way up to Sunset.

But you want to see?

But you, I mean, you don't need to be doing this.

But, Tai, do you really think you'd be good with Josh?

By far the most tardies in the class.

By the end of the day,

Bye, Daddy.

Bye.

Calm.

Calvin Klein.

Can I please give you some advice?

Can I use the pass?

Can take years to heal.

Can you imagine the nerve of that guy?

Can you imagine what that must feel like?

Carpe diem, O.K.?

Cher Horowitz... two tardies.

Cher is saving herself for Luke Perry.

Cher will be pro.

Cher, ain't that the same dress

Cher, can I talk to you a minute?

Cher, come on.

Cher, get in here!

Cher, get in here.

Cher, I expect you to become a good driver.

Cher, I have a question.

Cher, listen to me.

Cher, please don't start with the juice again.

Cher, two minutes.

Cher, what are you doing?

Cher, you'll come with me.

Cher, you're a virgin?

Cher, you've been nothing but super duper nice to me.

Cher!

Cher?

Cher's got attitude about high school boys.

Cher's main thrill in life is a makeover.

Christian had a thing for Tony Curtis,

Christian said he'd call the next day.

Christian, what do you think of Amber?

Christian.

Claes Oldenburg.

Classic!

Classics, indeed?

Cleaning out your refrigerator?

Cliffs Notes.

Closer, Tai.

Come here! Yeah, come here.

Come here. Have your old room.

Come on, Dee.

Come on, Josh!

Come on, you chuckleheads! Get in here!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on. Show me the rest of your pad.

Come on. You need some excitement in your life.

Come over here.

Congratulations.

Cool picture.

Could all conversations please come to a halt?

Could be I can't remember

Could they please be more generic?

Crazy as it sounds

Cut it out!

Daddy had an urgent case.

Daddy says it's a good investment.

Daddy, did you ever have a problem

Daddy, no!

Daddy, some people lost all their belongings.

Daddy, you need your Vitamin C.

Daddy!

Daddy's a litigator.

Damn. You did wonderful.

Dee, I almost had sex with him.

Dee, I'm Audi.

Dee, my mission is clear.

Dee, that's it!

Dee, when your allergies act up,

Dee?

Describe.

Did I really ruin Daddy's lawsuit?

Did I show you the loqued out Jeep Daddy got me?

Did I stumble into some bad lighting?

Did my hair get flat?

Did you get your report card?

Did you sign up for the environmental fair?

Did you write that?

Didn't Tai look cute tonight?

Dionne and her boyfriend Murray

Dionne asking Tai for sex advice?

Dionne, you're up.

Dionne's bucking for best dramatic actress at a Val party.

Dionne's going out with a high school boy.

Do I make myself clear?

Do whatever you want with your butts.

Do you guys think Travis will be there?

Do you have any idea what you're talking about?

Do you know what time it is?

Do you prefer fashion victim

Do you recall the dates of these alleged tardies?

Do you remember the time at the frat

Do you remember when we were at the Val party

Do you see how boys are responding?

Do you see the distinction?

Do you think she's pretty?

Do you think that he likes you?

Do you think we could do it next Monday?

Do you want it?

Doable.

Doesn't mean he's my father.

Doesn't she look classic?

Doing stuff for other people."

Doll face.

Don't call my mom!

Don't cry.

Don't ever change

Don't sell yourself short.

Don't sneak out of the office.

Don't tell me those lowlifes

Don't the slackers prefer

Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

Don't you even know who my father is?

Don't you think that includes athletic equipment?

Don't you want to use your popularity for a good cause?

Downtown, the young ones are going

Dr. Lovett says that you've got to get down to 200.

Dr. Lovett's giving you a flu shot.

Earth to Cher. Come in, Cher.

Eat oranges. Get Vitamin C.

Elton, comments?

Elton?

Elton's got a picture of you in his locker.

Emptiness began to roam, and where did you go?

Even Fabian, my masseuse,

Even though I apologized to Lucy,

Even when it comes out of nowhere.

Every single possession, every memory,

Every time that you see

Every woman has got to make for herself.

Everyone was talking about

Everything I think and everything I do is wrong.

Everything you've had your whole life

Everywhere in L.A. takes 20 minutes.

Ew!

Ew! Get off of me!

Ew! My life is turning into a bigger disaster than Malibu.

Except this time, I'd makeover my soul.

Excuse me, Miss Dionne,

Excuse me?

Excuse me. My shoes.

Excuse me. You were saying?

Fabulous.

Failed?

Fashion

Find an excuse to leave during the conversation.

Fine!

Fine.

First thing I do is put on my blinker.

Follow through! There you go.

For a boy of such varied gifts?

For a couple of hours.

For all the good deeds I was doing.

For her courageous fashion efforts.

For my father's birthday, right?

For spending hours making those Egg McMuffins,

For the children of my master,

For the improvement in their grades.

For the September 3rd conversations.

Forget it!

Fresh goes better

Freshman Psych.

Friday night and everyone's moving

From far away, it's O.K.

From his busy pants dropping schedule

From now on,

From someone who watches cartoons.

From this moment on, you will not drive,

From where?

Geist.

Get back in the car.

Get back into the right lane...

Get down on the ground face down.

Get down!

Get Josh what?

Get on the floor, and let's dance some more

Get on the floor, and let's dance some more?

Get out of my chair!

Girls, she's about to throw the bouquet!

Girls.

Go out and have fun. Go shopping.

Go straight! Go straight! Go straight!

Go to the mall, have a calorie fest,

Go to the right!

Go upstairs and put something over it.

God, Elton! Can't you suck?

God! You say it like it's a bad thing.

Gone in a second.

Good! Let's do it. You're ready.

Good.

Got another one.

Granola breath, you got something on your chin.

Great. Tai will go with Summer.

Great. What was that all about?

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha!

Hagsville.

Hand it over. Give me the phone.

Handsome.

Hang with us.

Have been calling again.

Having a snack with my girlfriends.

He does dress better than I do.

He does like to shop, Cher,

He doesn't have one unique thought

He dresses funny.

He fights with me for free.

He finds the only adult in here,

He gave me a C minus.

He gave me a C, which drags down my entire average.

He gets $500 an hour to fight with people.

He got the finest face I ever seen

He is not your dad. Go torture a new family.

He is so possessive.

He knows what he wants to do.

He listens to complaint rock.

He said he'd come over with some videotapes.

He said my debates were unresearched, unstructured,

He thinks he's all that, Tai.

He was becoming one of my favorite shopping partners.

He was looking at me?

He your gardener. You tell him.

He'll be spending one semester in Chicago

He's a disco dancing, Oscar Wilde reading,

He's absolutely right.

He's gay.

He's going to go ballistic.

He's going with Amber?

He's got no cause for complaints.

He's in a good college.

He's not even cute... in a conventional way.

He's not?

He's one of those do gooder types.

He's taken our minds at the most fecund point

He's the one that screwed up.

He's way famous.

He's way popular,

He's your stepbrother!

Heads up!

Hear me! You...

Hello! It was his 50th birthday.

Hello! That was a stop sign.

Hello?

Hello? Don't you mean Tai?

Hello? Was I the only one listening?

Hello.

Her picture's in your locker.

Here comes your boyfriend.

Here.

Here's the 411 on Mr. Hall...

Here's where Dionne lives.

Hey, Cher, is it true gang members tried to shoot Tai?

Hey, Cher.

Hey, Duchess?

Hey, Elton, um...

Hey, everyone. Let's play suck and blow.

Hey, James Bond.

Hey, man, we're just joking.

Hey, man.

Hey, Mom. 98 in Geometry. Pretty groovy, huh?

Hey, Summer.

Hey, Tai, did you get a flyer?

Hey, Tai! Wait up!

Hey, you O.K.?

Hey, you.

Hey, you're home.

Hey!

Hey! You know about this stuff.

Hey.

Hi, Cher. How are you?

Hi, Daddy. This is my friend Tai.

Hi, Gail.

Hi!

Hi.

Hi. Pretty random fiesta. Want a ride home?

His dad can get you into any concert.

His head looks bigger.

Hit the ball.

Hmm? What?

Hold that.

Honey, relax. Baby, relax.

How about some chronic shit?

How about sterilization?

How can you say that?

How could that be?

How did you do? Well, let's see, shall we?

How do you know if we're doing it sporadically?

How do you know?

How important love is.

How many girls can say that about you?

How many hours a day do you spend grooming yourself?

How much fun would it be having a brother type tagging along?

How'd I do that?

Huh?

Huh. Thanks.

Husband number four's at home,

I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.

I am going to take that lost soul

I am majorly, totally, crazy in love with Josh.

I am rescuing her from teenage hell.

I am so glad you're here.

I am. You try driving in platforms.

I assume you are referring to women's troubles,

I believe I'm you

I believe that was your designer impostor perfume.

I bet they haven't eaten all night.

I broke in my purple clogs.

I can see why.

I can take the girls home.

I can't believe I failed.

I can't believe I was so capricious about it.

I can't believe I was so unsupportive

I can't believe I went off the way I did.

I can't open it. I have to make him wait!

I can't pinpoint the spirituality.

I care about the news.

I could feel the chunks start to rise up in my throat.

I could get you some wine.

I could really use some sort of herbal refreshment.

I could tell Tai's grieving period

I decided I needed a complete makeover,

I did what any normal girl would do.

I didn't know the number of the party,

I didn't know what I was going to say to Tai.

I didn't know you could get tickets without a license!

I didn't like him.

I didn't say anything.

I didn't say that.

I divided them into entrees and appetizers.

I divided them into two piles.

I do not wear polyester hair, O.K.?

I don't begrudge her a boyfriend.

I don't care

I don't get it.

I don't have a license yet,

I don't know where she meets these Barneys.

I don't know why

I don't know, like...

I don't know. I feel wretched.

I don't know. What do you have?

I don't mind.

I don't need it anymore,

I don't rely on mirrors,

I don't remember getting a first notice.

I don't remember her,

I don't think so.

I doubt anybody would miss you.

I doubt I worked off the calories

I dug it.

I enjoy these little chats of ours,

I expect you to walk in this door in 20 minutes.

I failed something I couldn't talk my way out of?

I feel like bailing, dude.

I feel like my after school commitments aren't good enough.

I feel like ralphing.

I feel like such a bonehead.

I feel like such a heifer.

I felt better already.

I felt impotent and out of control,

I felt really nervous.

I felt so satisfied, I wanted to do more good deeds.

I fully intend to brake for animals,

I gave him my lemon Snapple

I got a C in Debate?

I got a place near school.

I got a.45 and a shovel.

I got to get back to school.

I got to go to the quad before somebody snags it.

I got to tell you something.

I had an overwhelming sense of ickyness.

I had to give myself snaps

I had to haul ass to the kitchen,

I had to haul ass to the ladies.

I had two bowls of Special K,

I had two mochaccinos.

I have a note from my tennis instructor

I have a question, all right?

I have an insight, Mr. Hall.

I have been trying to get you with Tai!

I have got an idea.

I have to look at you.

I have to redo all that.

I hear girls at NYU aren't at all particular.

I hope you're not thinking of staying here.

I joined this club, and there are these steps.

I knew it when you kissed me.

I knew it.

I know exactly how that feels.

I know it sounds mental,

I know it's a game.

I know that when I have my own wedding,

I know what you mean, but at least it's exercise.

I know what you're thinking.

I know when I was held at gunpoint...

I know!

I know. Shh. Here he comes.

I like him.

I like this boy, and he likes someone else.

I listened to it, like, every single night.

I love him.

I love Josh.

I mean there's not really a lot to him,

I mean, he's just like this slug

I mean, he's, like, a school nerd.

I mean, I get up, I brush my teeth.

I mean, I thought it reeked.

I mean, look how he ignores every other girl.

I mean, standing in line for 40 minutes

I mean, there's so much work to be done,

I met a really cool guy.

I need you around

I need you here. Does this work?

I needed to find sanctuary

I never needed anyone

I not a Mexican!

I noticed him scoping you out.

I object!

I realized how much I wanted a boyfriend of my own.

I really hate that.

I really love her hair

I really... Ooh!

I said I wanted it in the morning! No!

I said RSVP because it was a sit down dinner.

I search for the beat in this dirty town

I sent for reinforcements.

I sent myself love letters and flowers and candy,

I so need lessons from you on how to be cool.

I suppose it wasn't meant to be.

I sure want to.

I swear I saw this...

I swear to God. I swear to God, woman!

I think I checked them

I think I'd like to check out environmental law.

I think it is a travesty of the legal profession.

I think that I remember Hamlet accurately.

I think that there's some merit

I think they've seen that lke and Tina Turner movie

I think we were born to move.

I thought that you and Murray were...

I thought we moved on from there.

I told my P.E. teacher

I totally paused.

I tried.

I want this, like, whole, entire floral motif,

I want to be 5'10 like Cindy Crawford.

I want to burn it because I'm so over him.

I want to concentrate on

I want to do something good for humanity.

I want to help.

I was at this party,

I was going to take the driving test,

I was just totally clueless.

I was really happy for Tai.

I was thinking it was too cluttered.

I was wrong about Christian.

I was wrong about Elton.

I wasn't sure about that.

I went by Dad's office.

I will totally shoot you in the head.

I will. I'm going to practice real hard.

I wish I could do it.

I would just like to say

I wouldn't know. I failed.

I wouldn't skin a collie for a backpack.

I'd change your mind

I'd die of shock.

I'd get in the way.

I'd have to get off the freeway.

I'd like to see you have some direction.

I'll call you.

I'll get killed 'cause she's a moron.

I'll get you after school.

I'll go on.

I'll watch her for you.

I'm actually getting tired.

I'm afraid I can't permit that.

I'm all ears.

I'm always wrong, right?

I'm amazed.

I'm buggin' myself.

I'm calling in sick.

I'm calling your mother.

I'm captain of the Pismo Beach disaster relief.

I'm completely buggin'.

I'm going to distribute your report cards.

I'm going to walk Heather to her door.

I'm gonna be a supermodel

I'm growing a goatee.

I'm her only hope.

I'm here with you. I'm here with you.

I'm hip

I'm just a ditz with a credit card?

I'm new, but I thought maybe you had an in on the heavy clambakes.

I'm not a virgin.

I'm not good enough for Josh or something?

I'm not offering. I'm asking you if you drink.

I'm not sure I want you with a stupid fellow.

I'm not trying to hear that.

I'm really sorry.

I'm right below Wilshire and Linden.

I'm so sorry, Tai.

I'm sorry about your shoes.

I'm sorry.

I'm telling you, he's mean

I'm the messiah of the DMV.

I'm the tard here.

I'm tired.

I'm trying to make you as white as I can, Cher.

I've got an idea.

I've tried everything to convince him

If I could see

If I could stand

If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't 90% selfish,

If I fall, would you guys catch me?

If I'm too good for him,

If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have liked Elton.

If you decide to date a high school boy,

If you hadn't have been playing footsie,

If you need any help with anything.

If you've never experienced anything...

In a Pauly Shore movie.

In a place where I could gather my thoughts

In a stick of Carefree gum.

In America, we drive on the right side of the road.

In case he didn't already know.

In case he ever makes any.

In case you've never heard of that,

In his little, puny brain.

In learning form straight off.

In my cutest little outfits

In some parts of the universe,

In the Valley.

Including my boyfriend. Ain't he cute?

Into your heart

Is as useless as searching for meaning

Is gonna dress like me

Is hardly aerobically effective.

Is it James Dean or Jason Priestley?

Is it that time of the month again?

Is Josh giving you shit

Is my son there,

Is right by Elton's locker.

Is that a photo op or what?

Is that in the Valley?

Is that true?

Is the way my kids are going to feel about Nine Inch Nails,

Is this, like, a Noxema commercial or what?

Is, like, a really big decision.

Isn't he?

Isn't there somebody else I can talk to?

It all boiled down to one inevitable conclusion...

It does?

It gives her a sense of control in a chaotic world.

It is one thing to spark up a doobie at parties,

It looks like they just fell out of bed

It looks like underwear.

It makes sense.

It was great. Love was everywhere,

It was like some sort of alternate universe.

It was really decent of you to dance with Tai.

It was, like, the more the merrier.

It will replenish you for your finals.

It would be dope if we got some really delicious take out.

It wouldn't have happened.

It's a personal choice

It's a small price to pay to the party gods.

It's a very intense spiritual thing.

It's all right, baby. Relax, relax, relax.

It's also very pretty when it's all up

It's an entirely different country.

It's been a couple months now. Let's go to Malibu.

It's considered cool to know what's going on in the world.

It's Dee! Come on!

It's faux.

It's from the Cut Your Cholesterol Cookbook.

It's fun, huh?

It's got four wheel drive, dual side airbags,

It's just like Hamlet said,

It's just local loadies.

It's just... um...

It's like the paintings, see?

It's my most capable looking outfit.

It's not even 8:30, and Murray is paging me.

It's not like he'll sleep.

It's not ready yet.

It's one of my steps.

It's over?

It's over.

It's so pretty.

It's spiritual.

It's the bomb!

It's the least you can do.

It's time for your oral.

It's, like, a totally important designer.

Janet Hong... no tardies.

Jeepin'.

Josh is coming for dinner.

Josh needs someone with imagination,

Josh will have that no matter what he does.

Josh, are you still growing?

Josh, go to the party. Go, go, go.

Josh, please!

Josh, you busy?

Josh.

Just as long as his you know what

Just because my mother marries someone else

Just go back to the mall or something.

Just leave you alone

Just like me

Just look at the top of the map.

Just relax and drive, baby.

Just relax and drive.

Just so he'd see how desired I was

Just tell me what you want.

Just too many times.

Just where to start

Knock me a little kiss.

L... I just... don't think you mesh well together.

Ladies, we have a new student with us.

Ladies.

Later, while we were learning about the Pismo Beach disaster,

Left an opening in the Rat Pack?

Legs crossed towards each other.

Let it out. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

Let me down!

Let's blow off seventh and eighth,

Let's do a lap before we commit to a location.

Let's do a makeover.

Let's do it.

Let's get you home for some R and R.

Let's just talk when we've mellowed, all right?

Let's move along the song and try to find the plot

Let's never fight again, O.K.?

Let's spark it.

Let's watch the movies.

Like he's deliberately trying to not have fun.

Like I would really wear something from Judy's.

Like in that picture I took.

Like Josh thinking I was mean was making me postal.

Like Saturday.

Like some kind of present or something.

Like the social director of the Crew.

Like who?

Like your Barbie doll.

Like, he always finds some sort of way

Like, little things, you know?

Like, right now, for example,

Like, the other day, I was talking to Josh,

Like, very floral garlands.

Like, when I had this garden party

Loadies generally hang on the grassy knoll.

Look at Geist. She is so cute.

Look at him. Ooh, baby.

Look at Lawrence's head.

Look at that body language...

Look at the number on the top.

Look like you're having fun and you're popular.

Look what he's done! Can you believe this?

Look, I have been in agony for the past week.

Look, you're all flushed.

Look, you've got to help me get Josh.

Look! Josh is dancing with Tai! He never dances!

Look. Wow.

Looking out a dirty, old window?

Lovable, hugable...?

Lucy, where's my shirt?

Lucy's from El Salvador.

Make sure Elton sees you, but don't say hi first.

Man, I'm freakin'.

May I remind you that it does not say RSVP

Maybe because my party clothes are so binding.

Maybe he really was tired.

Maybe I should go to the party.

Maybe Marky Mark wants to use his popularity

Maybe you could share it.

Me and Tai...

Me and... and you...

Mel wanted them tonight. There were twice as many.

Mel. I want to help out Mel.

Mentos better

Mentos fresher

Mine is Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

Miss Geist was right about you.

Miss Geist?

Mmm.

Mmm... yeah, a little.

Most feminine pronouns do have mocking

Move into the right lane.

Mr. Hall was way harsh.

Mr. Hall, how can I answer that?

Mr. Hall, I was surfing the crimson wave.

Mr. Hall, the buzz on Christian

Mr. Hall! Mr. Hall!

Ms. Stoeger seemed to be same sex oriented.

Ms. Stoeger,

Ms. Stoeger...

Murray, I have asked you repeatedly

Murray, shut up.

Murray's Geometry class

My birthday's in April, and as someone older,

My bridesmaids will wear sailor hats.

My feet are cold.

My first book is Fit Or Fat.

My foot hurts. Can I go to the nurse?

My heart is totally bursting.

My man is satisfied.

My plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity

My pleasure.

My report card?

My trainer's coming really early.

Next up, number 14, Travis Birkenstock.

Nice stems.

Nice to meet you.

No calls tonight.

No cruising around with Dionne.

No matter how much we resist.

No one saw it.

No, never change?

No, no, no.

No, no! Forget procedure! Get out of the lane!

No, no.

No, really. You are.

No, thanks. I'm cool.

No! Not the afternoon!

No.

No. All I see is Bel Air.

No. Hamlet didn't say that.

No. He's doing her a prop so she won't be left out.

No. He's probably just dancing with her.

No. I have been going down a shame spiral.

No. It's fine. Stay.

No. No.

No. Not to your face.

No. Nothing like that.

No. She's a Monet.

No. That's all right. Thanks.

No. Why, do I sound like I do?

No. You notice how wine makes people

Not a total Betty, but a vast improvement.

Not even.

Not exactly a montage.

Not if they're going to finish those depos.

Not so...

Not some excuse for puppy love.

Not that Christian wasn't a blast to hang out with.

Not to have violence on the news,

Not today. I'm going over to Melrose with Amber.

Nothing.

Now all night long, I'll be known as

Now Josh hated me.

Now, get back to work.

Now, I have to say to her...

Now, I know I said I would find a guy for Tai,

Now, is there a Christian Stovitz in this class?

O.K.

O.K. It will get easier. I promise.

O.K. O.K.

O.K. Tai. Come here, Tai.

O.K. That's it.

O.K., like, the way I feel about the Rolling Stones

O.K., O.K., so he's kind of a Baldwin.

O.K., you guys, all get together.

Obviously, this boy is a complete moron.

Of course not.

Of course, there was always Miss Geist.

Of my scholastic aptitude,

Of your feelings for Josh.

Oh, as if!

Oh, but today's the driving test.

Oh, Cher, he's getting her digits.

Oh, don't forget to sign up for the environmental fair.

Oh, God.

Oh, great.

Oh, he's so cute.

Oh, here.

Oh, I did.

Oh, I hate muscles.

Oh, I'm having a Twin Peaks experience.

Oh, it's so killer!

Oh, Josh, please!

Oh, Miss Geist, I need more boxes.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Did you...

Oh, my God! She actually looked happy.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Cher, you don't understand.

Oh, my God. I'm totally buggin'.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, no shit!

Oh, no, thanks. Got the ulcer.

Oh, no. Don't.

Oh, no. You don't understand.

Oh, O.K.

Oh, right, right.

Oh, shit!

Oh, Tai.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, that was way harsh, Tai.

Oh, there it is.

Oh, those are so last season.

Oh, watch this part.

Oh, we got another notice from the fire department,

Oh, wow, you're filling out there.

Oh, wow, your face is catching up with your mouth.

Oh, wow.

Oh, yes.

Oh, you're a silly thing

Oh!

Oh! Did you just see that?

Oh! I swear I'll concentrate!

Oh.

Oh. Bummer.

Oh. O.K. I'll have them picked up.

Oh. That's just...

Oh. Well, how about tomorrow?

Oh. Well, you know, that was, like, uh, foam.

Oh... I'm still all red!

Ohh.

Old people can be so sweet.

On how driving is such a big responsibility

On the Statue of Liberty?

On top of everything else,

One main decorative statement,

One thing in this world

One was last Monday.

Only the fact that I've done it every other semester.

Ooh, fashion?

Ooh! Project!

Ooh.

Or are you trying to stay warm in front of the refrigerator?

Or Dionne and Murray,

Or ensembly challenged?

Outside the cars in the city go rushing by

Paradoasm Banofshon...

Perhaps you can explain how this Kmart hair extension

Please!

Please?

Popular uprisings from estates to the general assembly!

Present.

Probably at the cleaner.

Proper. This is really decent of you, Travis.

Puny. I like them big.

Put your feet in drive

Put your legs into me.

Ready to slide?

Really?

Really.

Rearrange some things,

Redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings.

Relax, relax.

Remember that song that was playing when we danced?

Remember that?

Right before the yearbook pictures?

Right before you die,

Right there.

Right.

Robbed.

Rollin' with my homies

Rollin' with my homies?

Rollin' with the homies

Rollin' with the homies?

Ruin my satin shoes, why don't you?

Said I had a lot of tension in my back.

Say, Ambular.

Saying I shouldn't expose myself to any training

Says who?

Says you gave him a toothache.

See you.

See?

Sexually harassed,

She couldn't make him happy.

She didn't mean any harm.

She died when I was just a baby.

She gave me love, and I said I'd never leave her

She is so adorably clueless.

She is toe up.

She just set us back a day.

She met some random guys at the Foot Locker

She spent the entire afterparty in the bathroom.

She wants me to come home for spring break.

She wouldn't be bothering me.

She's like one of those Botticelli chicks.

She's my friend

She's nice.

She's not a moron.

She's not ready.

Shh! Don't scare her.

Shit! That is so embarrassing!

Should all oppressed people be allowed refuge in America?

Should I leave it here?

Should I tie it around or put it over...

Shouldn't you go to school on the East Coast?

Since now.

Since you're not doing anything...

Singer of songs.

Sit, do anything in that Jeep

Skateboards. That is, like, so five years ago.

Slim to none.

Smile!

So check it.

So everything is all my fault.

So he brought over Some Like It Hot

So I always take Polaroids.

So I couldn't call Dionne,

So I really shouldn't torment my mom anymore, huh?

So I was, like, totally buggin'.

So I'll let that one slide.

So if the government could just get to the kitchen,

So she raised my C to a B.

So this must be the elusive Christian.

So until mankind is peaceful enough

So was the red.

So we decided to show Tai

So what do you think?

So you didn't want to make a night of it

So you do anything you like

So, actually, I have a permit,

So, does anyone have any further thoughts on Cher's oration?

So, Josh, have you given any thought

So, O.K.

So, uh, what did you do in school today?

So?

So? Nobody will be in school.

So. O.K.

Solid.

Some clerks and Josh helped him

Some people are all,

Some people aren't lucky enough

Some teachers were trying to lowball me, Daddy.

Someday

Someday I suppose...?

Someone to laugh at his jokes...

Someone to take care of him,

Sometimes they come to class and say bonehead things,

Sorry to make you leave.

Speaks very highly of you.

Sporadic means once in a while.

Squeeze in.

Stop it!

Stop it. You're making me blush.

Stop. Then I look in my mirror. O.K.

Straight off he offers me some smoke.

Street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression.

Streisand ticket holding friend of Dorothy.

Stuff.

Suddenly, a dark cloud settled over first period.

Sun Valley is north.

Sun Valley.

Sure you can. You can get tickets anytime.

Sure.

Sure. I saw how hard your breakup with Folette was.

Sure. Why not?

Survey says?

Tai certainly had that damsel in distress act down.

Tai, are you O.K.?

Tai, check it out.

Tai, get a little closer.

Tai, go with Summer. Cher, you'll come with me.

Tai, how old are you?

Tai, I need you.

Tai, I was planning on going to Tower and getting something for Christian.

Tai, I'm really happy for you,

Tai, so anyway, have you ever done it in water?

Tai, this is Josh.

Tai! Elton, help me!

Tai?

Tai's brush with death at the mall.

Take out your nose ring.

Take the midterms over?

Taking my daughter out?

Taped up inside was the picture of Tai.

Tardiness is not something you can do all on your own.

Tell me more. Tell me more.

Tell me that part about Kenny G. Again.

Tell me the problem, and we'll figure out how to argue it.

Than when I go partying.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, Lucy. It looks great.

Thank you, Mr. Hall.

Thank you.

Thanks to my parents for never giving me a ride to school,

Thanks, man. You got my mark.

Thanks.

That almost destroyed my buzz.

That biker came out of nowhere!

That clone.

That doesn't even show...

That doesn't make any sense.

That girl who fell on her butt.

That grassy knoll over there?

That he makes Elton look like a loser.

That I am devoting myself so generously to someone else?

That is Alana's group over there.

That is great.

That is so great.

That is stupid.

That jump and slobber all over you.

That looks like one of your stringy something or anothers.

That machine is just a lawsuit waiting to happen.

That need it for entertainment value.

That Polonius guy did.

That reminded me of Elton.

That said, 'Tis a far, far better thing

That takes care of our minds and bodies,

That took place on September 3rd, highlight it.

That turns into Benedict.

That was so cool the way you did that.

That would be great. Thanks.

That would be wonderful.

That you argued your way from a C plus to an A minus?

That you couldn't argue your way out of?

That you found someone more clueless than you are

That you was wearing yesterday?

That you were totally sprung on me.

That's a nice representation.

That's an unequivocal sex invite.

That's exactly what it means.

That's good.

That's it. I've had it with you.

That's not true.

That's not what I meant.

That's really cool.

That's right near me. I'm above Olympic.

That's right. You've been very dedicated to this case.

That's what everyone's saying.

That's where I used to keep it.

That's why guys like them more.

The attorney general says there's too much violence on TV,

The entire student body was utterly grateful

The evil trolls from the math department

The fact that you hang with Dee and l, well...

The flannel shirt... Is that a nod

The freshmaker.

The Haiti ans need to come to America.

The jacket...

The L.A. city bus driver for taking a chance on an unknown kid,

The man is ridiculous.

The midnight snack totally revived the lawyers,

The only one in this school with any intelligence.

The picture you took is in my locker.

The protective vibe. I dig.

The red ones with the strappy thing.

The ropes at Bronson Alcott High School.

The same semester?

The same thing happened at the spring dance.

The ticket is the first notice.

The topic is Haiti,

The whole crew is going to this party

The wonderful crew at McDonald's

The world is full of fools

The wounds of adolescence

Then he can wait outside.

Then he goes and blames us.

Then I glance at my blind spot.

Then I promised Miss Geist

Then I would probably

Then she'd have to go back south,

Then this guy with a gun held me up,

Then would I know

There are no numbers. There's letters.

There he is!

There was a girl

There was a place

There was just one person left to call,

There will be some great parties.

There you go.

There's Bronson...

There's Elton in the white vest,

There's no point in taking it out of shows

There's nothing to lose...?

There's one. Third back.

There's something I got to do.

There's, like...

These clips are so cute.

These grades are a jumping off point

These guys got the skinny on the happening after hours.

They be seeing him and he be asking about me?

They do the TV station.

They're all filled up.

They're charging for brewskies.

They're horrible! Don't feel bad!

They're just like these nervous creatures

They're like dogs.

They're planning our weddings already.

They're the only acceptable ones.

They're way existential.

This clarity thing, it's brought me to a whole new level.

This is a good learning experience for me.

This is a multimillion dollar lawsuit,

This is an Alaia.

This is California, not Kentucky.

This is good.

This is ragin'.

This is so not fixable.

This is so unexpected.

This is Tai Frasier.

This is your influence, Josh?

This weekend he called me,

Those are really nice stickers.

Those are the scariest kinds of lawyers.

Three pieces of turkey bacon,

Through the garden of ideas.

Till death do us part mumbo jumbo?

Till you get your way?

To be as naturally adorable as you are.

To be beautiful and interesting.

To be on my own

To draw attention to your mouth is good.

To enjoy the party.

To have people jealous of us.

To include in his speech,

To make a bus stop at full speed

To make left hand turns?

To make Mr. Hall sublimely happy.

To our discussion about corporate law?

To plant trees.

To start negotiations.

To take Elton's place right away.

To the crispy Seattle weather?

To thine own self be true.

To touch me or tickle me.

To worship you.

Took my money and my phone,

Totally based on my powers of persuasion.

Transitional.

Travis Birkenstock... 38 tardies.

Travis, Tai would have wanted you

Travis, we've got it under control!

Travis?

Try and stay out of trouble.

Try to remember to bring our textbooks.

Tscha! It might stunt my growth.

Tscha! It's a famous quote.

Turn away

Turn away?

Turn right! Get out of the lane!

Turn to the right

Turning

Two permits do not equal a license.

Two very enthusiastic thumbs up.

Ugh. The dreaded ex.

Uh huh.

Uh uh.

Uh uh. No way.

Uh uh. No.

Uh, also, here.

Uh, but I would like to say this.

Uh, canned goods.

Uh, I'm fine.

Uh, th...

Uh!

Uh...

Um, do you drink coffee?

Um, sure.

Um, where are you?

Um, you want to go swimming?

Um...

Unfortunately,

Unless I found someone

Unlike Shawanna.

Until I find the right person.

Up close, it's a big old mess.

Use it in a sentence today.

Use this.

Valley information.

Very good.

Violence in the media.

Wait a second. What am I stressing about?

Want to feel, like, sexy?

Want to practice parking?

Was it a montage of all the scenes in your life?

Was that you going through my laundry?

Was wiggin' me more than anything.

Wasn't my mom a Betty?

Watch out for the bike rid...

Watch your feet.

We could certainly party with the Haiti ans.

We did our best.

We do lunch in 10 minutes.

We don't have any tea, but we have Coke.

We got a pool going to see whose girl gets the bouquet.

We got to book to P.E.

We will.

We're going to have to make a cameo at the Val party.

We're having a nice family dinner.

We're the kids in America

We're the kids in America?

We've been shopping all day,

We've got to figure out a way

We've worked our butts off on this case!

Well, actually, he is a smart guy.

Well, did I set him back?

Well, how did I do?

Well, I mean...

Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately,

Well, I'm glad, because your happiness means a lot to me.

Well, my ex stepbrother's friends

Well, not around here you can't.

Well, she said that you were

Well, sure, she has runs in her stockings,

Well, that's O.K.

Well, there goes your social life.

Well, uh, I thought they declared peace in the Middle East.

Well, um, it might take longer than that, Dad.

Well...

Well... thanks.

Went from technical to nonexistent.

What am I going to do with you now?

What are the chances of you shutting up

What are you doing?

What class you going to?

What did I do?

What did you do? Turn in extra credit?

What do you care what he thinks?

What do you mean it's not ready yet?

What do you mean?

What do you say

What does she want with Josh anyway?

What does that matter?

What for? You want to have a miserable, frustrating life?

What happened to the August 28th files?

What is this crap?

What kind of stuff?

What made you think of them?

What makes you think your teachers will change your grades?

What my teachers say

What position have we, I wonder,

What stuff?

What that man needs is a good, healthy boink fest.

What the hell are you talking about?

What the hell?

What was happening?

What was my problem? Tai is my pal.

What was that all about?

What would he want with Tai?

What?

What's 7 times 7?

What's she talking about?

What's that?

What's the first thing you do?

What's the point? Everywhere you go has valet.

What's to like?

What's up, Daddy?

What's wrong with me?

What's wrong, Tai?

What's wrong?

Whatever you do,

Whatever.

When I can't remember, it irritates me

When I saw how unhappy Tai was.

When I saw the sparks between Tai and Travis,

When I was 9, I fell off this jungle gym.

When I was totally depressed?

When I'm a supermodel

When it's all wild, you know?

When they think no one is watching,

When we got back from the IHOP, it was 8:00.

Whenever a boy comes,

Where are they?

Where are we going?

Where are you?

Where balls fly at my nose.

Where did you go?

Where should I park?

Where would I find such a loser?

Where you been all weekend?

Where you going?

Where'd you put them?

Where's my white collarless shirt?

Where's your report card?

Which I really hate.

Which I'll bet serves your interests more than theirs.

Which one?

While I was packing Daddy up.

Who cares about the September call?

Who hangs around the house all the time.

Who makes sure that Daddy eats right?

Who never get it right

Who now do infomercials.

Who takes care of everyone in this household?

Who wants to make everyone else miserable, too.

Who's available?

Who's Elton?

Who's Pippi Longstocking?

Who's so totally amazing

Who's watching the Galleria?

Whom I also taught the classics.

Why am I even listening to you to begin with?

Why did you do this to your head?

Why do I have to see Josh?

Why do you put up with it? You could do better.

Why don't you hire a gardener?

Why don't you make me a copy of this, O.K.?

Why don't you put your arm around Tai?

Why not?

Why was I letting it throw me into such turmoil?

Why would I go with Tai?

Why?

Why? What's wrong?

Wild guess.

Will want to look

Will you move down for Cher?

Will you tell me what the hell this is?

With all the most popular boys.

With Mentos, fresh and full of life!?

With someone I had lukewarm feelings for

With that curly tendrils,

With the ring a ding kid?

With your head, not the whole car!

Without a licensed driver.

Without a supervised driver.

Woman, lend me $5.00.

Woman, why don't you be answering any of my pages?

Woo!

Woo! All right, Travis!

Would you call me selfish?

Would you look at that girl?

Wow! A party!

Wrote a note, then tore it up

Y yeah.

Yeah, hello?

Yeah, I am.

Yeah, I can't find my Cranberries CD.

Yeah, Jake. What?

Yeah, she's beautiful.

Yeah, that's good.

Yeah, you can help me with something.

Yeah! Oh, yeah! This shit is whack.

Yeah?

Yeah? Wow!

Yeah.

Yeah. All right.

Yeah. God's gift.

Yeah. How did you know?

Yeah. I think we both know

Yeah. O.K.

Yeah. Oh, actually... I was really bad today.

Yeah. Thanks.

Yeah. This is America.

Yeah. Under your tutelage,

Yeah. We'll be collecting blankets, disposable diapers,

Yeah. Well, it was a good learning experience.

Yeah. What is this stuff?

Yelled at me, and forced me to ruin my dress.

Yes, Daddy?

Yes, Daddy.

Yes, even.

Yes, I do

Yes, under normal circumstances.

Yes, well, it's a little off the subject of Haiti,

Yes?

Yo, look! Are you bitches blind or something?

Yo, man! Chill! Chill!

Yo! You're getting on the freeway!

You already said that.

You are a down girl. I'll call you tomorrow.

You are a snob and a half.

You are so bad!

You are such a brownnoser.

You are such a superficial space cadet.

You are the most beautiful girl in Beverly Hills.

You asshole!

You can have any guy that you want.

You can't be the absolute and final word

You can't drive for shit!

You can't hang with them unless you own a BMW.

You can't have that.

You can't make right hand turns,

You could hit a few balls in those clothes.

You could still see the news.

You didn't trace these?

You divorce wives, not children.

You do that.

You don't know what to do

You don't need me, do you?

You don't think that we mesh well?

You don't want to be the last one

You don't want to start off

You drink?

You exercised your mouth, Cher.

You flirt with me all year...

You get upset if someone thinks you live below Sunset.

You going to walk home?

You got your whole social world going on.

You guys came. That's great.

You guys got coke here?

You guys should use ice.

You guys, I've never had straight friends before.

You have pretty eyes. Don't hide them.

You have to calm down, O.K.?

You have to clean them and feed them.

You haven't made me watch The Real World.

You jeepin' behind my back?

You just got here, and already you're playing couch commando.

You knew what?

You know what I mean?

You know what I mean.

You know what?

You know you're gorgeous, all right?

You know, I don't get you, Cher.

You know, Rollin' With The Homies.

You know, you're one of my best friends,

You know.

You like Billie Holiday?

You look good!

You look like Forrest Gump.

You look like Pippi Longstocking.

You look much better in that dress.

You look taller than you did at Easter.

You looked hot in it.

You mean to tell me

You notice any positive changes in her?

You O.K.?

You proud?

You rashin' this weekend?

You ready to go back out there?

You said Jose would do it.

You say never accept a first offer.

You see how picky I am about my shoes.

You shall be my body servant.

You should try the dorms.

You sure?

You sure? Can you do this?

You think I'd give alcohol to teenage drivers

You think I'm beautiful?

You think that's all I do?

You think the death of Sammy Davis

You were hardly married to his mother.

You were thinking about what was really important.

You won't be in the way.

You'll never guess who

You're a virgin who can't drive.

You're acting out on that poor girl

You're entitled to your opinion.

You're funny.

You're going to roam around campus by yourself?

You're great.

You're kidding.

You're on the wrong map.

You're one to talk, Dee.

You're only hurting yourself here, baby.

You're really good at it.

You're so quiet.

You're such a brat.

You're such a pretty thing

You're too good for him.

You've got something no one here has.

You've never had a mother.

Your dad is pretty scary.

Your father has a well rounded collection.

Your man Christian is a cake boy.

Your mind just sort of gets very clear.

Yuck! The maudlin music of the university station?

Yuck! What is it about college and crybaby music?

[Cher] Daddy! What?

A what? A what?

Dee? Hello? Yeah?

Ew! Ew!

Girlfriend! I must give her snaps

How are you guys holding up? I am so ready to leave.

Just September 3rd. O.K.

Miss Geist! Miss Geist!

Oh, yeah. Really?

What's up? What the hell is that?

Whoo! Whoo!

Whoo! Yeah!

You want to come? Sure. I owe him my life.

You want to go? Now?

...

...ln Central Bosnia.

...Really fun.

...Wish you sent me this would end

'Cause I'm keeping it real.

'Cause I'm lost

[Applause]

[Beep]

[Bell Ringing]

[Cheering]

[Cher] Listen, Tai, when we get there,

[Crash]

[Ding dong]

[Dionne] What have you done?

[Doorbell Rings]

[Gasp]

[General Public Singing Tenderness]

[Giggles]

[Glass Breaking]

[Horn Honking]

[Josh] Go ahead, yeah.

[Josh] What's your problem, man?

[Man] Ms. Stoeger...

[Miss Geist] Run along. See you third period.

[Mr. Hall] Cher?

[Ring]

[Song Continues]

[Spills Drink]

[Telephone Ringing]

[Telephone Rings]

[Television] Mentos.

[Theme From

[Whimpering]

Clueless (1995)
"Clueless" is a beloved teen comedy film from 1995, directed by Amy Heckerling. It follows the hilarious and fashionable misadventures of Cher Horowitz, a popular but clueless high school student in Beverly Hills. Alicia Silverstone stars as Cher, with Stacey Dash as her best friend Dionne and Brittany Murphy as the lovably ditzy Tai. This iconic movie captured the essence of '90s fashion, teenage angst, and the ups and downs of love and friendship. If you're a fan or want to relive the nostalgia, you can always play and download the delightful sounds of "Clueless" right here!
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