Just Married (2003) Edit

A cracker, honey!

A good husband knows where his wife is at all time.

A powerful daddy plus family money equals expectations.

About what?

Ah, here we are. For Mr and Mrs Leezak.

Ah! OK.

Ah! OK.

Ah. I wonder what kind of wheels we got.

Aha. Imagine my surprise.

All right, Peewee. Ten yard out.

All right, so I'm gonna go and hit the... and then we'II... do that thing.

All right, that is damn straight! This is my wife! Now open up the gate!

All right, where is this place?

All right.

All right. First thing tomorrow...

All right. Health, wealth, happiness.

Allez dans la cour, s"il vous plaitt, tout de suite.

And a good maitre d' answers questions when he's asked.

And a small part of me thought that I wanted that once. A very small part.

And along comes Bags. He comes trucking over,

And do you know if my wife's up in the room?

And got stuck behind a jackknifed big rig for, like, three hours. Yeah.

And he looked up at me and gave me the "Hey, are you gonna play with me or not?"

And he starts tugging on my ankle.

And hysterical and offbeat,

And I am going to love her day in and day out

And I have to tell you... It's not funny!

And I was, like, "Bags, I'm... " I was like...

And I'm focusing, and I'm really into it.

And it turned into this big fat lie, so you kept not telling me about it...

And on top of all that, he's centred, and he's down to earth.

And room service and lovemaking! We haven't made love!

And that was it. Game over.

And that we needed to get to know each other better.

And that's that I love Sarah.

And the credit bill will be a fat one, Mr Tough Guy!

And the hits just keep on comin'.

And the more time went on, the harder it was to tell me,

And then we'll have sex.

And there is something very, very wrong with that.

And there was a Fiesta on the cover, not a Bingo.

And they're gonna know that you deflowered me. Oh, God! Oh, no!

And took off her disgusting red bra?

And torching hotels in Europe.

And try to have sex with my wife!

And we can finish this place off, tough guy!

And we have our entire lives to have sex.

And we'd be Flintstoning there.

And we're out. Look here, Tom. You gotta focus, all right, man?

And what you want and who he is.

And you could've had Peter.

And you never asked again?

And you still had the nerve to show up on our honeymoon

And you, Tom Leezak. You're...

And you're laughing?

And, to boot, I'm yelling at you! We're yelling at each other.

And... and... he started pulling at my ankle again,

And... squawking.

And... squawking.

Anyway, congratulations. To both of you.

Anyway, don"t wig. When you get bacK, we"ll do some Budweiser therapy.

Are you American?

Are you gonna hate me for ever?

Are you mocking me?

Are you OK?

Are you OK?

Are you OK? Are you OK?

Argh!

At this hour, there are approximately seven vehicles on all Southland freeways,

Aw, crap.

Aw. Baby needs a great big car to make him happy?

Baby, it's just that this is our wedding day,

Bags, he just... he just went for him.

Bags, I'm reading.

Bags, seriously, I will...

Bags, shh. Bags, shh!

Bags...

Be fresh in the morning.

Beat it, stew!

Because that's our hotel.

Because we"re honeymooning in Europe!

Beer?

Before World War First!

Believe me, the first months are the most difficult.

Bene, bene.

Bernardo Salviati can actually trace his family back to Machiavelli.

Big Daddy Leezak's in the house!

Blue 28! Blue 28!

Blue car, blue car!

Bonjour. Les reservations sont pour LeezaK.

Bonjour. Merci. Bonjour. Merci.

Bottom line, Daddy: we love each other. That is all that matters.

Boy, you got it in there, didn't you, honey? Thank you so much!

Buonasera.

Buongiorno, Bernardo!

Buongiorno, Fredo.

Buongiorno, Mr Peter Prentiss. Buongiorno. Come stai?

But I can't wait until then.

But I love not knowing.

But I'll tell you what I do expect.

But I'm sure the pensione is gonna be fine. Look, we'll check in, sleep late,

But it all kinda looks the same to me.

But there's one thing that I do.

But tomorrow we will be at the foot of the Alps at the Hotel des Reves.

But you couldn't because you felt bad about it?

But you guys have fun.

By the way, Peter's staying at the hotel.

Call me crazy, but I'm just not in the mood to make love.

Calm down. You were just doing the same thing with Wendy.

Can't we give the guy a chance to explain?

Can't you just tell him thank you from all of us here at the gorgeous Gianna?

Certain things would be easier, given his background.

Cheers, Sarah McNerney.

Cheers, Tom Leezak.

Cheese and rice!

Cheese and rice. Is that a Thunderstick A200?

Ciao. Can I get the key to 309, please?

Close it, bitch!

Cockroach, cockroach, cockroach!

Come on, man. You're getting divorced. Breakfast beer is a must.

Come on.

Come on.

Congratulations, Mr Leezak!

Daddy got the big suite! Yeah, he did!

Damn, I don't have my key. Can I use your phone?

Di su, di giu, dentro, sopra, fuori, sotto, non ce la faccio piu!

Did she ever hook up with that yahoo?

Did you have wedding fantasies when you were a little boy?

Did you see me slap him, then?

Did you talk to Kyle?

Do we have a problem?

Do you feel like it?

Do you have four men staring at your boobies right now?

Do you have to grunt all the time? You're just like a little pig with hair.

Do you hear that?

Does it make a difference?

Don't even think about it, Dickie.

Don't force it.

Don't tell me all the cute conversation and air humping is leading nowhere.

Don't tell me you didn't want it!

Don't worry, Peewee. We'll get this Tom mess cleaned up.

Don't worry. This is a vacation zone. We'll find a place.

Doughnut pillows?

Down!

Drop the love bomb, baby! Yeah!

Eat pasta, gaze out at the Piazza del...

Either way, I'm coming in!

Either you're gonna open the gate, or I'm gonna open the gate.

Especially it coming out of your heinie, it sort of kills the romance of the moment.

Eugh.

Everybody ready?

Everyone. They said that we were too young,

Excuse me, stewardess. Can I...?

Excuse me?

Excuse me. Sorry.

Expectations are like a fungal rot on a marriage.

Fetch.

Fine.

Fine. I'm not gonna lie any more.

Flare! Flare!

Football!

For ever and ever.

For the rest of my life.

Forget about Peter.

Forget about proposals. Forget about marriage. All right?

Forget it.

Francois, les bagages, en haut. Tout de suite, s"il vous plaitt.

Fredo, call the police!

Fredo, I need to know where that little signora is at all times.

Frog!

Get in!

Get it off me!

Get out of my Hotel des Reves!

Get out of my way.

Get that junk wagon out of here.

Getting a visual?

Go! Go!

Go.

Gonna tell me what you're chewing on?

Good guess.

Good night, sir.

Good to see you. Bernardo, Sarah McNerney.

Good, cos we're paying out the ass for it.

Goodbye, cracKer.

Grab a flute of bubbly and rise.

Grazie, goddammit.

Grazie.

Grazie. Buonasera.

Grazie. Thank you.

Great. Now we get to freeze to death.

Ha, ha, ha!

Happy now? You broke it.

Have you always told me the truth?

He also said that if he were here with me, he wouldn't be concerned with TV.

He asked me out to dinner. The champagne is flowing...

He did not.

He didn't exactly die the way that I described it.

He has a low tolerance for annoyances.

He makes a point.

He means English.

He said the TV's in the bar.

He's a huge history buff. Yeah.

He's everything I want. And we have this passion for each other that's...

He's got your whole family praying that this marriage fails.

He's...

Health, wealth, happiness.

Hello there, Mr McNerney.

Hello, Peter. So glad you could join us.

Here you go.

Here. Please enjoy.

Hey, Wendy.

Hey, you.

Hey!

Hey...

Hi, Daddy.

Hi, Mom? It's Peewee.

Hi, Sarah, it"s Peter. I thought I might catch you in.

Him chasing the squawking pigeons off the balcony?

History doesn't interest you at all, does it?

Hold on there, Jacques.

Holy dude Jesus. Good thing that didn't happen when we were using it.

Honey, he wants to talk to you.

Honey, I looked at the brochure,

Honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just really overwhelmed.

Honey, just for the record, when you talk about money,

Honey, there's gonna be satellite TV in the hotel.

Hot! Hot!

How are you holding up?

How bad could it be?

How do you know? I was wrapping out an auction. I'm a gofer at Sotheby's.

How often are the Dodgers on TV in Europe?

How's the honeymoon? It's good? It's a dream?

Huh? Yeah, it does. I wasn't an art history major, though, so it's not like...

Huh.

Hurry up!

I almost forget.

I am flooring it. If I pushed any harder, my foot would blow through the floor,

I can be so thick sometimes. I'm sorry.

I can deal with you being cheap and a shitty driver.

I can't believe she invited Prentiss.

I can't get it out!

I can't take this any more! Honeymoons are supposed to be all champagne

I cannot not deal with you being a liar!

I couldn't agree with you more.

I did have Peter, and it wasn't that hot. OK?

I didn't invite him. I don't know how he found us.

I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to give her all of this.

I don't know who we're gonna be.

I don't know. Do you?

I don't know. Hm...

I don't know. Ten seconds.

I don't mean to be rude.

I don't think anything happened.

I don"t Know where we"re gonna be in ten, 20, 40 years.

I expect you to pay me bacK in full just as soon as that silly ass radio show ofyours

I feel like we've been married for 50 years.

I got a lot of work to do anyway, so I'm going to disappear.

I gotta warn you, Leezak. I studied karate with a Chinese grandmaster.

I just don't know if love is enough any more.

I just find it odd that you're spending so much time apart

I just put a castle on my credit card.

I know this honeymoon hasn't been perfect,

I know. I know. But tomorrow they're gonna know for sure that I'm not a virgin.

I look like a chimp.

I love him, Daddy.

I love our messy loft... your beater car.

I love Sarah, don't get me wrong. But rich chicks spook.

I love you.

I love you. OK?

I mean, at first, it was more of a... more of a purring.

I mean, does it make sense to be with one person for your entire life?

I mean, even if Sarah and I do love each other,

I mean, I'm a sports freak. But how often are we in Europe?

I mean, over the next ten years, you're giving up five hayrides per year.

I miss doing time in prison with you.

I miss sleeping with you inside a snowball.

I miss wrecking airplane bathrooms with you.

I miss you, too.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I need a ride.

I need to know everything.

I saw how you love this girl. How you two lit each other up.

I should've been courting Sarah instead of putting in 19 hour days at the office.

I think I even said "I'm trying to focus. "

I think it's time for Peter and I to tangle!

I think we should go find Tom now.

I threw the ball over my shoulder, it went out the window, Bags dove, and he died.

I told them I'd call. It'll just take a minute.

I wanna marry you, Tom Leezak.

I wanna marry you, too.

I wanna say that word!

I wanna start a life with you.

I wanted to tell Tom so many times, but he gets so jealous.

I was busy looking at the map! Somebody had to navigate.

I was confused. I'm in Seattle.

I was married for 27 years before my wife passed away.

I was, like, "Yeah, I really just wanna read, though, Bags. "

I wasn't brought up to manage feelings like that very well.

I went to day care in a pool hall.

I won. It's irrelevant.

I work at KNR Radio,

I would marry a guy like Peter.

I wouldn't stay in this dump if you paid us!

I, you know, turn it on every once in a while.

I... I just hope that I can...

I'll be waiting!

I'll be waiting!

I'll call you later, Mom. Bye.

I'll settle for a cuddle. Just let me get the shifter out of my ass.

I'll take that as a yes.

I'll take that to my grave.

I'll take you back to Tom.

I'll take you guys to dinner.

I'm claustrophobic, OK?

I'm gonna make this up to you huge. Huge.

I'm jealous.

I'm just trying to be the gallant loser here.

I'm moving out when I get home. How funny is that?

I'm not a grazer, Kyle.

I'm not gonna be waiting here for her when she gets back.

I'm not gonna have to trade ya in, am I?

I'm not, either. But we haven't had sex once since we've been married,

I'm on my honeymoon!

I'm on my honeymoon.

I'm on my honeymoon.

I'm open! I'm open!

I'm so glad I get to hear the phrase "We'll dig out" on my honeymoon.

I'm sor... I didn't, uh...

I'm sorry your honeymoon stunk, but that's what you got dealt. Now work through it.

I'm sorry, man.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Next time, I'll try to be a little bit more refined like your friend Peter.

I'm sorry. Oh, my God.

I'm telling you, this is not the car. I ordered a compact.

I'm the cutest doggy in the world. Throw the ball for me. I'll pull on your leg all day.

I'm trying to negotiate.

I'm...

If I wanted to know exactly what my life would be from hereon out,

If you hadn't insulted Henri, we wouldn't be spending the evening in a snowball.

If you'd told me about the turn before, I wouldn't have had to pull such a manoeuvre!

Imagine Ernest Hemingway sitting right over there at the Caffe Florian,

In miles, please!

In this case, you should.

In this family.

Insult me, radio man!

Is it over?

Is this a loving act of generosity, or am I gonna pay for this later?

It throws off my day, starting with my morning dump.

It was right after we met. My parents were pressuring me to...

It wasn't like Bags to chase pigeons.

It worked fine, until you young kids had to bring out your toys and ignore the sign!

It's a promise.

It's go time.

It's incredible.

It's just...

It's like living a lie. I cannot live a lie.

It's not like you were married, and even if you were...

It's our wedding night, and we don't wanna have sex.

It's time to go, Sarah.

It's your responsibility to put American on your signs.

Its long term viability is best established unemotionally.

Jackpot!

Je crois que sa femme n"est pas vous. C"est la tele.

Je lui ai dit, a monsieur, que la tele est dans le bar.

Je m"appelle Henri Margeaux.

Jimmy crack corn!

Just for the record, why did I almost get us killed back there?

Just get it over with now and blame me.

Just sipping a single malt, dreaming up his next masterpiece.

Just take a ride with me. You know? Catch your breath.

Just... You just...

Kinda.

Knock it off, Dickie!

Kyle.

Kyle.

Kyle. I got your message. Sorry the honeymoon sucKed.

Kyle...

Last chance. Come with me to Seattle.

Leezak, give me a five yard slant. You got this, man. Don't worry about it.

Leezak, give me a five yard slant. You got this, man. Don't worry about it.

Leezak.

Let me guess: marketing major, Stanford. Smartypants in the front row.

Let me guess...

Let's get outta here, please!

Let's go to sleep.

Let's go to sleep. We'll get a good rest, we'll sightsee tomorrow.

Let's go, honey.

Let's go.

Let's have a drink.

Let's see what Leezak's packing.

Like every Howard Johnson's, with a bright orange roof?

Like your father's never judged me?

Listen, I have a car. I'm having a quick drink at a friend's house.

Listen, it doesn't matter that he doesn't know.

Listen, Leezak, I don't expect a cracker like you to ever measure up

Listen, Peewee, never tell him.

Listen, Sarah...

Live.

Look at me. I'm the cutest doggy in the world.

Look, I'm not gonna pay you for an answer.

Look, Yuan, did she actually say those words to you?

Look, Yuan, I just need to talk to her.

LooK, Yuan, Willie, whoever else is listening...

Maybe it's cos I just got hit in the head with a ten pound ashtray!

Maybe love isn't enough.

Maybe they were right.

Maybe we did need more time to get to know each other.

Maybe we should go home.

Maybe we should just have sex.

Maybe we'd still be together if I'd gotten the proposal right, but, nope,

McNerney.

Me no jack in box! You jack in box! Go away now!

Merci.

Merci. Bonjour. Merci.

Merrick... and Bruce.

Mesdames and messieurs...

Mm hm.

Mm mm.

Mmm...

Mom's never said a bad word about you.

Move, move, move!

Mr Peter Prentiss?

Must be some mistake, no?

My dad told me about this nice little pensione in Venice...

My feelings for you were very, very strong,

My grandparents installed the wiring in the hotel

My... my phone?

Nah. They went backpacking in Europe once, just after high school.

Never again.

Nextron's buying out Ferrugia Chocolate, so they sent me in to close the deal.

No, he hasn't. Not once.

No, no mistake. Mr and Mrs.

No, no, no. It matters to me.

No, Peter must be a warlock.

No, the bra just jumped off her bare naked breasts.

No, there's no way I'm taking money from your dad.

No, wait, I really shouldn't... I can't... No, listen.

No, we don't need to take the money. This is about us now.

No! This is our honeymoon, not his.

No.

No. Baby, just floor it.

No. No, it's not that.

No. We're married.

No. What do we get? We get evicted from a five star hotel

No... Well, it's OK.

Not even close.

Nothing happened, I swear.

Now do you get it?

Now fight your deep urge to be cheap, and give the bellboy a large tip.

Now get your shit. Let's go.

Now I kinda feel like it.

Now when did we start caring about what other people think?

Now you're engaged.

Now, will you please...

Of course. What's Salviati's?

Oh ho ho ho. You are dreaming, Wellesley.

Oh, and she left you this.

Oh, bloody nose! Bloody nose!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, he's at the, uh, the church with, uh... with...

Oh, hello, hello! Hello, hello!

Oh, honey! Honey, honey! I'll get him!

Oh, honey.

Oh, I am so down with that!

Oh, I hope she doesn't spook on you, man.

Oh, I'm on my honeymoon.

Oh, Mom, he's wild and spontaneous

Oh, my God! Me too!

Oh, my God! Tomorrow my parents are gonna know I'm not a virgin any more!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I love this song!

Oh, my God. This is like a Twilight Zone.

Oh, my Peewee. Always moving so fast.

Oh, no!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, slow down there. I think you got the wrong room.

Oh, Sarah.

Oh, say hi to Pussy for me.

Oh, the church art is unbelievable,

Oh, wow. That's a big house.

Oh, yeah? Well, maybe it was magic.

Oh, yeah. I said it. Frog!

Oh, you can call me Pussy now.

Oh, you should be so lucky.

Oh!

Oh. Call first, cos I might be having sex with a complete stranger!

Oh. Oh, yeah?

Oh. OK. As long as you're OK with a bogus roster.

Oh. Pretty confident there, huh, fathead?

Oh...

Oh... Peter, wait.

Oh... You haven't been a virgin since college.

Ohh! Tell me this isn't your fantasy.

OK, I met a woman at a bar. Nothing happened.

OK, I'm home, so you can leave whenever you want.

OK, if you change your mind at the altar, just pass out.

OK, OK, let's move on.

OK, OK, OK.

OK, OK, one, two, three.

OK, so that wasn't the smoothest start to a honeymoon.

OK, wait. OK, one, two, three.

OK, you mean when are we gonna...?

OK?

OK.

OK.

OK. Bye.

OK. Did you ever do something that you wanted to tell me about,

OK. I'm just saying, if you do, just hit the floor.

OK. That's...

OK. Um, what hotel are you staying at?

OK...

On the graveyard shift. Every other week.

On your honeymoon.

One of the oldest and most beautiful estates in Venice.

Ooh, presents.

Ooh, whoa, whoa, turn here!

Ooh!

Ooh!

Open the gate so I can tell that to my wife.

Open the gates, jack in the box.

Oui, mademoiselle.

Our marriage is not gonna have a fungal rot.

Part owner of the Lakers and Dodgers McNerney?

Passports, please.

Peewee. My youngest daughter.

Peewee... Marriage is like a business investment.

Pensione?

People change. They grow.

Peter just bailed us out.

Peter Prentiss vi ha pagato la cauzione.

Peter, hello.

Peter!

Peter?

Peter. "

Peter... just go, please.

Playtime is over, children. Return to your seats! Do you hear me?

Please bear in mind that our daughter loves him, Dan.

Please claim all baggage at carousel number two...

Please just let me call my dad.

Please, try not to break into song.

Please.

Please...

Polizia!

Precipitevolissimevolmente.

Pride is the crutch of the insecure.

Promise we'll never lie to each other.

Pussy's a mess. I'm telling you now, be prepared.

Ran into Peter. We went out. I drank way too much,

Ready to get your ass kicked at eight ball?

Ready? All right. And break!

Relationship over. She no like you any more.

Return to your seats.

Return...

Right away, princess!

Right now, I just do spot traffic reports.

Right. Sorry.

Room, all upstairs.

Run, you coward!

Sarah doesn't need a guy with a fat wallet to make her happy.

Sarah from Beverly Hills.

Sarah, please!

Sarah, Sarah. Sarah, maybe we should switch to water, huh?

Sarah, Sarah...

Sarah?

Sarah...

Sarah...

Sarah...

Sarah... It's morning.

See? I knew you were gonna make me pay for watching the game.

See? Yeah.

Send a large wedding gift, or we won"t call you bacK. I"m serious.

Seriously, from my heart.

Set!

Set! Hut!

She doesn't need any more security than that.

She say you have KiKiwith bimbo. Same thing.

She shared the roster.

Since when did you become an expert?

So fresh and young to have marriage, no?

So I can either be happily married to Sarah, or have 50 one night stands.

So I guess everyone thinks we're crazy for doing this.

So I have myself a real live radio host?

So I must make my hotel of dreams

So I'll call my dad up, and he'll lend us the money.

So if you feel like skateboarding down the 405, she's wide open.

So it's OK if we don't do it tonight.

So you feel guilty about something, too.

So, 3am? That's past your bedtime, is it?

So, what do you do when you're not Joe Montana?

So, when are we gonna go back to do the neenoo neenoo neenoo?

So? What happened?

So... what you're saying here is

Some days your mother and me loved each other. Other days we had to work at it.

Some part of you wants him! Just say it!

Something I've fantasised about my whole life.

Sometimes when it's over, it's just... over.

Son of a biatch!

Sorry.

Squawking?

Squawking.

Stay tuned for another traffic update in ten minutes

Sweet girl.

Sweet Lord! Where does that come from?

Sweet! Me too. Communications, Burbank Community College.

Sweetie, our plane leaves in an hour.

Tell me, pretty one, what brings you to Venice?

Thank you, Mr McNerney.

Thank you, Peter.

Thank you. But it's not gonna happen.

Thank you... Pussy.

Thanks for the help, Daddy.

Thanks, Dad.

That can't be good.

That is one strong gate.

That is the... the...

That one looks heavy.

That sounds like a plan.

That surprises you? Your dad hates me. "Well, wonderful, wonderful. "

That was a hard one.

That was a sexy speech.

That.

That's a platonic "love".

That's all I need to know.

That's cool. You ready to go?

That's funny!

That's funny. You hear that? We got a comedian on the plane.

That's what my mom always called it. My mommy.

That's yours.

The captain has turned on the "fasten seat belt" sign!

The Dodgers won, honey.

The Dodgers won! The Dodgers won!

The first sex I had on my honeymoon was with a man named Santino.

The next hotel with no vacancy would be Schloss Hilliger Winterswald.

The proposal is critical, and I blew it.

Then go get him.

Then that's precisely why it looks like one.

There are a million things that I don"t Know.

There is a farm up the road. And they have a nice pigsty for you!

There will always be this big fat elephant in the room with us.

There you go. Just like that. It'll stop the bleeding.

There's a lock on the door for a reason, Junior.

There"s a ground ball...

They're not flaring. I'm not Iying.

This is a European compact.

This is a Ringling Brothers compact. I've owned bigger Tonka trucks.

This is actually happening!

This is better than my fantasy.

This is great. This is just what we need.

This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

This is Tom Leezak with KNR traffic at 2.06am.

This pigeon was cruel. It was...

This started with you wanting to talk about something.

This threshold thing isn't as easy as it looks.

Those birds are psychotic.

To anything approaching what I'd consider a good match for my daughter.

Tom says hello.

Tom, if you"re listening, buddy, I feel your pain.

Tom, put the poker down.

Tom, you're acting crazy!

Tom!

Tom?

Tonight, everything is your choice. Dinner in a church, if you want.

Try and keep it on the road for a change.

Turn off your brights, jackass!

Uh huh.

Uh, can I get one of those, uh...

Uh, I couldn't find you in the crowd.

Uh, the Gianna.

Uh, well... Bye.

Uh, when are they coming back?

Uh, yeah. Listen, um...

Um...

Unless she finds out that you slaughtered her dog.

Until Sarah herself confirms that she is shitcanning Tom!

Very bold, Mr Prentiss.

Wait a second.

Wait, wait, wait. Here. Ready? One, two, three.

Wait.

Wanna get drunk and make out?

Watch full movies online for free at www.awooh.com

We call SWAT team on your ass!

We can catch the two o'clock train to Venice and go straight to the Gianna.

We can show those paisanos how it's done.

We can't afford to stay at the Gianna for a few extra days.

We could get injured doing this.

We could really use a Dodge about now.

We could really use a Dodge about now.

We could use a Dodge about now.

We don't feel the need to be with each other all the time.

We got pretty heated.

We need to talk.

We're gonna be happily married every day for the rest of our lives.

We're gonna plan this wedding!

We're here.

We're in this together, right?

We're never gonna forget this honeymoon.

We're not yelling at each other. I'm the one yelling. I'm sorry, I wanna go home.

We're not.

We're tired. It's fine.

Welcome to Hotel des Reves. I am Henri Margeaux.

Welcome to the honeymoon from hell, shitheel!

Well, are you sure that you don't wanna marry a guy like Peter?

Well, here's your chance! Come on!

Well, I don't wanna talk about it right now.

Well, I guess that makes you a stupid French...

Well, I had the perfect relationship that was ruined by marriage.

Well, I love Sarah.

Well, that's just jim dandy.

Well, that's not gonna get me drunk, but we could make out.

Well, well, well...

Well, wonderful surprise.

Well, wonderful. Wonderful!

Well... OK, I'm reading my magazine,

What a surprise.

What are we listening to?

What are you doing, Tom?

What did he say?

What do you do here, Tom Leezak?

What do you mean?

What happened?

What hotel are you staying at?

What if you became one later in life?

What the hell is this?

What was that?

What you do here, Tom Leezak? You no allowed here no more.

What?

What? What?

What? What? What are you looking at?

What? What? What is it? I can help.

What's going on?

What's that?

What's the matter?

What's wrong?

Whatever! Look, this hotel gets guests from all over the world.

When Bags died,

When the full time guy's sick.

Where are we gonna stay, Tom?

Where are you going?

Where is your husband?

Where you were, what he did, how small his wiener was. Everything.

Where's Tom?

While I'm makin' a doody, can you hand me my sports section?

Who called me a... fathead.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. Hey.

Whoa, yeah. I can't do that.

Whoa. You're getting married, and she didn't share the roster?

Whoo!

Why did we get married when we had loving each other so completely nailed?

Why do bad things happen to good people, Father? Where's that in your book?

Why do you bring Dodge to front? ParK at service entrance!