Desperately Seeking Susan (1985) Edit

A cheque? Great.

A double feature?

A jacket. It used to belong to Jimi Hendrix.

A pyramid?

A real pal. I'll tell Jim...

Abierto siete días a la semana.

ADRIAN: Don't worry. Her husband'll love it.

Ah, shit.

Ah! Now we're getting someplace.

All right, all right, avoid the fate of your late beloved boyfriend.

All right, I'll see you there.

All right, Jim.

All right, play it that way.

All right, this is the number of my friend Dez.

All right, we'll settle this at the station house.

All right, we'll talk later?

All right. You in the pink tutu.

All time comes from a single point in the universe?

Although, I tell you, I had some the other day.

And a, uh... doughnut.

And get it all ready for baking.

And he's giving us a really great price.

And his lovely assistant Crystal!

And I want nothing disappearing from my apartment. You got that?

And I'm lan.

And if you really get in a jam, call him. He'll know how to reach me.

And make sure she's OK?

And now some guy's run an ad to meet her in Battery Park, signed a stranger.

And she's got this green and gold jacket...

And she's really crazy about me.

And shopped all afternoon before going home.

And thanks again for everything.

And then you start to think,...

And there's my picture.

And this you can do in the morning...

And you're the Scotch.

And, Susan... practise a lot! OK?

Anyway, we got a special treat for you people this evening.

Are you looking for a job?

Are you OK, Mr Glass?

Are you OK?

Are you OK? Are you all right? I'm sorry!

Así que venga a Gary's Oasis,...

At Gary's Oasis all your fantasies can come true!

At least you got everything. I hope you're feeling better.

Bartender... Can I have the check, please?

Be here next time when I get back.

Beautiful stranger, red hair, green jump suit,...

Before you start taking her clothes?

Bleecker Street Cinema.

Blue.

Bravo!

Breakfast?

Bullshit.

But I bet he'd love it if I swapped it for the boots.

But I don't want any drama.

But I'm working on it.

But nobody here looks at my face!

But r right now I'm out.

But you yourself said she was irresistible.

Bye bye, Bruce.

Bye.

Can't forget you. Give love a chance. Blackie.

Check this out. I mean, who the hell is this stranger?

Cigars? Cigarettes?

Come on in.

Come on, baby!

Come on, Dez. It'll take you half an hour.

Come on, don't get excited, all right?

Come on, let's just get outta here.

Come on, Ray. You know lots of girls.

Come on, you've just got a little bump on your head. You'll survive it.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Let's go get a drink.

Come on. We'll talk about it in private.

Come to Buffalo with me?

Consider it my final favour, Susan.

Could I call someone else? Please?

Cross my heart. You won't regret it.

Davina... Queen of the Night!

Dead?

Desperate. I love that word. It's so romantic.

Desperately seeking stranger seeking Susan.

Dez, if she sees us both here, she'll probably just split again.

Dez, this is Gary, my husband.

DEZ: I don't believe it!

DEZ: OK, let's get on with it. Introducing, back from his...

DEZ: That's just great, Victoria.

DEZ: That's why I showed up at Battery Park.

DEZ: The one, the only, the innovator...

Dez.

Dez. Dez, I really need to talk to Gary alone, OK? Please?

Dez...

Dez...

Diary. That little sneak, what did she say about me?

Did you read that stuff in the newspaper about that guy Meeker?

Did you tell them about the jacket? Her wedding ring in the soap dish?

Did you wear the pretty earrings he gave you?

Do me a favour, baby. Stay on the carpet, OK?

Do we have anyone else here from Brooklyn?

Do you ever remember your dreams?

Do you have anything in your pockets, maybe?

Do you promise only seven digit phone calls?

Do you remember anything?

Do you remember what you had for breakfast?

Do you wanna see a doctor?

Does Roberta have orgasms? I mean, did she have them with you?

Don't cry about it. I'm really crazy about her...

Don't make a peep. You're gonna get me outta here.

Don't push!

Don't settle for anything under 50,000.

Don't spend it all in one place.

Don't you even remember her?

Don't you remember the jacket?

Don't you think you ought to wait for Roberta...

DUMMY: Why don't you cut your fingernails?

Either one.

En nuestro local en New Jersey,...

Enrique will take care of it.

Escaping from her gun toting pimp!

Even if I could get someone to fill in for me...

Everybody I know is desperate except you.

Everybody says goodbye in person.

Ex partner and Roberta were in on it together.

Excuse me!

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Extra ultra long and thin! Regular, unleaded...

Face forward.

Fast work, Les.

Festival seating. That means Portosans.

Fine, thank you. Good night, Daisy.

Fine.

Fine. That's fine.

Firm.

First of all, I get thrown out on my ass on the sidewalk.

Forget it.

From now on, I want you here five minutes before we begin.

From the Cairo collection currently on display in New York.

Gary Glass, right?

Gary Glass?

Gary left. Finished birthday cake.

Gary, I think you have got to accept the fact...

Gary, why didn't you tell me she read the personals?

Gary, you're not listening to me. I'm not a prostitute or a lesbian!

Gary,...

GARY: Oh, Roberta.

GARY: Susan!

GARY: Susan.

Gary! She is taking the car keys!

Gary... Dez.

Get your wig on and get out there!

Ginger ale.

Give me my glasses, babe! What's the matter?

Give me the bag, Daisy.

Give me the car keys.

God.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Good goin', stranger.

Good goin', stranger.

Good. I gotta go. I gotta get that scooter back.

Goodbye, Gary.

Gorgeous, isn't it?

Got any pot?

Great. Another cheque.

Great. Thanks. You've been a terrific help.

Guess what, man? I think she's jerking us both around.

Gunny's Coffee Shop? I know the place.

Has she ever split on you before?

Have you got a place to sleep tonight?

He can't forget her, he's in love. It's great.

He got pushed out of a hotel window in Atlantic City.

He sells bathroom spas and saunas.

He thinks she's staying here, which she isn't because I am...

He was breathing when I left.

He's a great guy...

He's about medium.

He's been giving me the eye all night.

He's Gary's dentist.

He's looking for Susan again. She's late returning from Mexico.

He's not a pimp.

He's really a nice guy.

Hear her side of it before you do anything stupid!

Hello, Henry.

Hello, Henry.

Hello, Julia.

Hello, Roberta.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello.

Hello. Glass house.

Here you go. 20 bucks.

Here, trust me. You wanna find your wife?

Hey, baby. Take a paper.

Hey, guys!

Hey, guys. Could you, uh... have your picnic somewhere else?

Hey, help me!

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, I think I've found one.

Hey, is there anyone out here from, uh... Queens?

Hey, Larry! I'm married, all right?

Hey, Ronnie. Taskal here. Bring up Glass.

Hey, she's cold. She's gotta wear something.

Hey! Beauty and the Beast, we'll hit traffic on the bridge. Let's fly!

Hey! Don't eat all that cake!

Hey! Hey, lady!

Hey! That's the guy! That's the guy! Help!

Hey! Whoa!

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. I'm Gary from Gary's Oasis.

Hiya.

Hope she gives him a chance.

How about a match?

How can you have a déjà vu if you don't remember anything?

How come you split without saying goodbye in person?

How could you let her wear Roberta's jacket?

How did I meet him?

How did you get here?

How do you get in here? You're not supposed to be in here.

How do you use the birds?

Huh?

Huh. How are you doin'?

I am not! I am wondering aloud why she couldn't have called if she was in trouble!

I am, I am! What kind of job?

I believe some of that stuff is mine.

I can pay you back! I'll send you a cheque.

I can't believe you're eating during a crisis!

I can't hear what you're saying...

I could get some pizza and meet you at home.

I could understand if I wore my glasses on my tits,...

I didn't know she read this stuff.

I didn't know you knew. Anyway, we're not running around!

I didn't say I wanted to buy one.

I don't believe a word you're saying.

I don't believe it.

I don't believe it.

I don't believe Victoria would do this.

I don't even know you.

I don't know how to thank you, Dez. I'm really sorry.

I don't know what happened. I just...

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. Maybe.

I don't think she's playing with me.

I don't think so.

I don't wanna hear it!

I dunno, I never thought about it.

I found this in the suitcase. You ever hear of it?

I got good news and bad news. What do you want first?

I got you a newspaper and your tequila.

I gotta go have dinner with him in town.

I gotta have 'em, but 65 bucks...

I have money in my bag! I have money in my bag!

I hope it's filled with something good.

I hope you get good news about Mrs Glass.

I I think you're mistaken.

I killed that when I told you about Rebecca.

I know, I was. I just... can't seem to find anything.

I know.

I know. I'm sorry, sir, but could you please see if he's gone?

I looked at you. You look ridiculous.

I mean look at me, Gary. Look at me.

I mean, I know that. I mean...

I mean, there...

I mean, what do... what do they care?

I mean, what do... what do they care?

I mean, you really seem to have examined this.

I really need some time alone too.

I should probably lay low for while, huh?

I suppose you're proud of the way you're running around with Becky Shuman.

I swear to God.

I telephoned you as soon as I realised the photographs matched up.

I tell you what. I'm gonna run you up to the Port Authority.

I think maybe she's ready to settle down.

I thought I'd go there and see if I remember anyone.

I thought you were somebody else.

I took it home, I cooked it, it wasn't bad. It tasted like fish.

I understand. Never ever. Don't ever ask me again.

I wanna see who this fuckin' stranger is.

I was really scared!

I wish I could remember.

I wonder what happened to Susan.

I'd settle for a police escort.

I'll be waiting on the third floor near the bar. You got that?

I'll have that too. That sounds good.

I'll leave.

I'll pay for the movie if you pay for the popcorn.

I'll see what I can do.

I'll see you later.

I'll send you a cheque for the rest, OK?

I'll tell Jim.

I'm a housewife and I live in Fort Lee, New Jersey.

I'm calling from, uh... Oh, shit, I don't know where we are.

I'm Dez. I'm a friend of Jim's.

I'm gonna bake it and then unmould it.

I'm gonna have... blueberry blintzes.

I'm just calling to see if Susan's OK.

I'm not a pimp. I'm a friend of hers.

I'm not coming home with you.

I'm not gonna bullshit you, Jim.

I'm not in the mood for being a boy scout right now.

I'm not who you think I am.

I'm OK You're OK.

I'm on this health programme, you know? No alcohol, no sugar...

I'm really enjoying this. It's a great trick.

I'm sorry about what happened.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm stuck in Buffalo and I need a favour. It's about Susan.

I've been married for four years.

I've got a 10.58 spot.

I've had enough trouble already.

I've had worse parties than this.

I've seen them together!

In our New Jersey showroom, we have hundreds of models...

Introducing the one, the only...

Is he sort of thin?

Is that it?

Is that it? Pay at the cashier.

Is that so?

It all started with the personals.

It can't be.

It happens, right?

It might be a wise idea.

It sounds weird. Could you just go down there...

It used to belong to Elvis Presley.

It was a shitty thing to do. I'm not saying it wasn't.

It was black and gold and it had a sort of a pyramid thing on it...

It was fun till he started getting serious.

It was fun, huh?

It was me.

It was sort of an accident.

It was very special to her for some reason.

It was your first day at work.

It won't ever come back.

It's about time.

It's all right. It's all right. The nightmare's over.

It's gone for ever.

It's great stuff. Couldn't sleep.

It's mine. Mrs Glass give it to me.

It's my stuff, Dez.

It's my treat.

It's not uncommon! I've just read an article...

It's over on Center Street.

It's really getting complicated here. I'm not...

It's really tough to get a straight answer out of her.

It's ridiculous. Roberta is not having an affair!

It's some motel... Hey, where are we?

Jesus Christ!

Jim must have given it to you.

Jim said a friend of yours got killed outside your hotel in Atlantic City.

Jim waltzed in.

Jim, I got a job here, you know!

Jim, Victoria split on me last night. I'm in a shitty mood.

JIM: Dez, are you up there?

JIM: I'll find some trouble for you to get into.

Jim?

Jim... Jim. Jim.

Jimi Hendrix, huh?

Jimmy!

Jimmy!

Just for tonight, I promise.

Just how did I meet Jim? I mean, how...

Just try to be careful, all right?

Just... what are you saying here, Dez?

Killed?

LAN: Davina!

LARRY: Right. Sorry.

Last January she was in Mexico City, then Seattle.

Last night? Oh, no.

Leslie said lots of prostitutes are lesbians.

Leslie, I think that I would know if my wife was a lesbian.

LESLIE: Gary... Is that...

LESLIE: So you're a dentist...

Leslie! Not everybody is obsessed with orgasms!

Let me guess. Triple tequila sunrise.

Let me see that.

Let's get out of here.

Let's go.

Let's hear it, ladies and gentlemen, for lan, the fabulous lan,...

Like on a dollar bill.

Like on your jacket?

Like the answering machine. Like the Charlie Parker records.

Like yours?

Listen, I don't get involved in domestic disputes, OK?

Listen, meet me tonight at 10.30 at 30, West 21st Street.

Listen, uh... I'm gonna take this stuff down to the Porsche.

Look at me.

Look at this!

Look, I'll give you a number. uh...

Look, you can't miss her.

Looks interesting too.

Looks like a real greaseball to me.

Looks like you lost your girlfriend.

MAN: All right, stop.

MAN: Excuse me!

MAN: Go back to selling T shirts! You're fired!

MAN: What you've gotta do is...

MAN: You just don't fire someone like that!

Maybe a jilted lover?

Maybe he was.

Maybe I know who did it.

Maybe I should've slept with him.

Maybe it was the guy who grabbed me last night.

Maybe it would help.

Maybe she left you because you weren't satisfying her.

Maybe that's the place where I met Jim.

Maybe what's ever in the locker will help you snap out of it. How's that?

Maybe you can help each other.

Maybe you should quit?

Maybe, uh... I'll see you with Jim.

Maybe.

Mick, it's that crazy girl with the jacket.

Miller or a Heineken?

Mr Glass. Sergeant Taskal. Have a seat.

My friend, this is the crucial moment.

My God, we all thought you were dead!

My head hurts.

My husband Gary...

My husband.

My luck can't get much worse anyway. Miserable scumbags!

My place?

My sister Leslie.

Nefertiti? No shit!

Next time don't put an ad in the paper, OK?

Next.

Nice legs.

Nice place you got here, Gar.

Nice to have met you.

Nice try, kid.

Nice wallpaper.

Nice!

Night, hon.

No more dead bodies, OK?

No offence, but bad luck really seems to be following you around.

No phone call, no discussion, no nothing.

No phone call, no discussion, no nothing.

No purse?

No, just in New Jersey.

No, no. I mean... this is all déjà vu.

No, really! Really!

No, this is your birthday present.

No! (LAUGHS)

No. Jim follows Susan all over the country.

No. Not yet.

Now I come home and the whole place is torn apart. Why, I don't know!

Now they're in New York.

Now you have these sushi restaurants. Everyone goes for sushi.

Of whirlpools and hot tubs at the lowest manufacturer to you prices.

Oh, don't forget...

Oh, let's have some chicken.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God, it's Jim.

Oh, my God, maybe she is!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I have heard that four out of five prostitutes are lesbians.

Oh, no. I know what's coming now.

Oh, Roberta, please! He must be some kind of a pervert!

Oh, so you're the witch's husband. Where's my stuff?

Oh, yeah. That must be what it is.

Oh, you're gonna...

Oh! Larry Stillman...

Oh! Sorry, man. Excuse me.

Oh! Sorry.

Oh... Mm.

OK, but listen. How much is popcorn?

OK, listen.

OK, yeah. Bye.

OK, you. You're outta here.

OK.

OK. The earrings, I need them.

OK. You're a real pal.

One night... on the couch.

Our defences are at their weakest, almost fully automatic.

Our force field power plant has been transferred to the ship.

Ow!

P pot. Um...

Pages of it. It's gotta be a cover. Nobody's life could be this boring.

Pay at the cashier.

Pending appeal of their 1982 conviction for smuggling.

Pick up the radio for the car for me tomorrow, aren't you?

Pimp?

Please!

Please! Could you... Could you...

Please.

Queen of the Night! So let's hear it!

Ray won't let me wear my glasses,...

Regarding key. Meet me Saturday night, Magic Club, Broadway. 9.30pm. Be there.

Richard Nolan and Bruce Meeker were released...

Right here. Why don't you two share a cab home?

Right. Sorry.

Right...

Roberta can't be a prostitute. She doesn't like sex that much. It's impossible.

Roberta doesn't know anybody in Atlantic City.

Roberta, are you a lesbian?

Roberta, don't let me eat these. They're so good!

Roberta, I gotta run! I'm late.

ROBERTA: Come down!

ROBERTA: God!

Roberta? That's impossible!

Roberta.

Room service!

Rosemary will have another instalment of Growing up In Queens.

Rule number one was no drama.

Rum and Tab.

See you tomorrow night at the same time.

See, he was after me, Dez.

See, I found this in the suitcase.

See, now some guy she met in Atlantic City got pushed out of a hotel window.

See, now, that's just it, Dez.

She better have a good explanation!

She did it for years before her husband found out about it.

She had the jacket on when she disappeared.

She has great teeth.

She kept a diary.

She owes me a coat.

She plays with people, Dez. I oughta know, I've been chasing her for years.

She read them all the time. I didn't think...

She stopped in here looking for the jacket, too.

She took the refrigerator.

She was arrested last night on the Lower East Side.

She was here.

She was here.

She'd never do that. She's really not the type.

She'll give you the goddamn cab fare!

She's good, Gary.

She's in a holding tank downstairs. I'll have her brought up.

She's never smoked a joint in her whole life.

She's OK. Show's over.

She's probably the straightest person in Fort Lee.

She's really got style in a way.

She's with me, she's OK.

Shit!

Shut up, Leslie. OK?

Single white male, 40, looking for afternoon playmates.

Sir, could you pull over, please? This is it.

Sir!

Sir!

Sir?

Smile.

Smile.

So come on out to Gary's Oasis.

So don't even consider jerking me around because I'm not in a great mood today.

So I guess your name isn't Susan, huh?

So let's hear it from all you lovely people. Come on!

So they thought I was a prostitute and arrested me.

So this stuff does look familiar, right?

So we go there and see if anybody remembers me.

So what do you think? Anyone look familiar?

So who's the stranger?

So you just come and take it.

So you were telling me the truth last night.

So, uh... I'll see you around maybe sometime, huh?

Some guy from Atlantic City.

Some guy from West Germany's got 1500 tubs...

Somebody jumped me. It was dark.

Somebody stop that guy! Help!

Somebody's been following Susan. I thought maybe you were him.

Someone's trying to get in.

Sorry about this mess.

Sorry, girls. I can't stay for dinner.

Sorry, man. Have you been waiting?

Sorry!

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sort of charming.

Sort of goes with the territory, doesn't it, Susan?

Sort of. Sort of, um...

Spa king!

Sssh. Stay right there.

Stay!

Su...! You mean she's here?!

Sure I do, Gar.

Sure, I mean, I wouldn't...

Sure.

Susan, get up here!

Susan, I've been looking for you for weeks!

Susan, my wife has just been picked up on the Lower East Side,...

Susan, what's going on?

Susan, will you get the phone?

SUSAN: Hello?

SUSAN: Hey! Not under the ladder!

SUSAN: Hi.

Susan!

Susan!

Susan!

Susan!

Susan!

Susan!

Susan! Come here!

Susan?

Susan?

Susan.

Sushi... I hate the stuff.

Take a look in the mirror. Beautiful, right?

Take these guys home and practise, all right?

Taxi!

Tell the guy you're my wife because we put a sauna in the owner's apartment...

Tenemos cientos de bañeras calientes a los precios más bajos.

Terrific.

Thank God. You had me worried. How you doing, man? Huh? Huh?

Thank you!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks.

That and more, next on the news at 11.

That funny, young, lost look... I loved.

That looks great. Any word from Roberta yet?

That might be a Susan but that's not my Susan.

That there is something very unusual going on in your relationship.

That we can't even see them.

That's gotta ring some bells.

That's him. That's the guy.

That's it! I'm not who you think I am.

That's not Susan. I never even seen that girl before.

That's the guy!

That's why I like you. I never know what you'll say next. Come here.

That's, uh... It's one of our most popular items.

The bad news is he'll probably kill her cos he thinks she's me.

The big picture, you know what I mean?

The chicken is for tomorrow. Larry!

The guy who grabbed you?

The likelihood of a successful mutant attack is at its strongest.

The Magic Club? Yeah. That's that place over on Broadway.

The search continues for suspects...

Then I have to fork up $200 bail to get you out of jail.

Then lan gets pissed off when I can't do the tricks.

Then take a Valium like a normal person!

There are your six eggs.

There she is.

There's a man following me. Could you see if he's gone?

There's a man... There's a man following me...

There's more to life than making money, right?

There's someone following me.

These go very fast done two by two.

They liked the commercial, don't you think?

They seem to think she's having an affair.

They send messages back and forth, that's how they hook up.

They're Roberta's.

Things happening in solar systems so far away...

Things happening in solar systems so far away...

This hat'll look great on you, baby.

This is his fifth ad.

This is like a déjà vu.

This is Ray.

This isn't some sort of trick, is it?

This mess isn't so bad.

This must be the place.

This must be yours.

This one favour.

This one's worse than the other one!

This one's worse than the other one!

This sounds wild. I'm sorry I missed it.

This way.

Those get beaten up a little bit and then in goes...

Those look exactly like my speakers.

Trust me, Gar. You're in for a real surprise.

Tuesday 10am. Battery Park, Gangway one. Love Jim.

Turn left.

TV: At Gary's Oasis all your fantasies can come true!

TV: We start off with the eggs.

Two flights up.

Uh huh.

Uh uh, you'll be working.

Uh... Don't get the wrong idea. She was helping me find Roberta.

Uh... I think I'll be staying, thank you.

Uh... I'm gonna go outside and I'm gonna wait for five minutes.

Um, yeah, OK, but I've only got a few minutes.

Um... Yeah, right, I guess I did.

Vaguely.

VENDOR: Check it out!

W why don't you just hit me again and, like, finish me off?

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Please, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Never mind that. Why did you leave me?

Walking dogs in Washington Square Park.

Wanna go out to breakfast with me?

Was he your pimp?

We could've settled this yesterday.

We have a wonderful line up for you this evening, for all you people.

We live in Fort Lee.

We'll get professional help. I don't care how much it costs.

We'll talk later, all right?

We're both free now. Let's just go to the movies.

We're dropping the charges. Her husband is here.

We're having a perfectly respectable affair!

We're nervous!

We've got three minutes before curtain!

Welcome back.

Welcome to the Magic Club. I'm your host, Big Ray.

Welcome to the Magic Club. I'm your host, Ray...

Well, hi! Excuse me, but do you like candy?

Well, I just can't see her settling down. I mean, she's too wild.

Well, it's not completely unfamiliar.

Well, it's your treat, right?

Well, maybe I could help you.

Well, not me exactly. He was after Susan,...

Well, obviously he hasn't picked her up yet.

Well, we've been spending some time together.

Well, what fuckin' stranger?!

Well... sort of.

Went into kitchen. Gary came in. Turned on light.

Weren't you reading the want ads?

What are you doin'?

What are you doing here?

What are you driving at?

What are you having?

What are you wearing?

What can I get you?

What colour eyes does he have?

What did the police say?

What did you do? Rob a bank?

What do they care if I am the spa king of New Jersey?

What do you think you're doing? Give me that.

What earrings? Look, I'm not who you think. Please.

What have you got on? Some sort of disguise?

What is this?

What stranger?

What, are you on drugs or something now?

What?

What?

What's going on here?

What's going on?

What's going on?!

What's it all about?

What's your name?

Whatever she told you doesn't mean shit.

Whatever you're having. Apple juice. Coke. Perrier.

When you were soliciting, that was an accident, too?

Where did he go?

Where did you get this bag?

Where do you wanna go?

Wherever she is, who I'm not!

Who am I gonna find at such short notice?

Who are you? What do you mean, who am I?

Who did you think I was?