Porky's (1981) Edit

A bet's a bet. Now you gotta pay up.

A buck apiece.

A friend of Mickey's, my brother.

A hand on me again, you son of a bitch.

A hundred bucks.

A little smelly. Yeah, give 'em a break. [Chuckling]

A man?

A peanut shell and a rubber band?

A police lineup so that you can identify

A trophy for you, my little Pee Wee.

A trophy? What are you talking about?

Aah!

Act like you come here all the time, but don't overdo it.

Administration gets you for fuckin' food.

Again? I got it last time.

Ah, yes. Lassie.

Ah.

Ain't nothin' wrong with this car, boss.

Ain't nothin' wrong with this car, boss.

All he had to do was knock it off.

All right now, remember. Any sign of guns and we're gone, okay?

All right, a trophy. What for?

All right, come on!

All right, give me number six.

All right, grab everything that kills.

All right, how much you want?

All right, I'll give you something to play with.

All right, I'm going home.

All right, let's go.

All right, Mr. Cavanaugh,

All right, now listen, you guys.

All right, Pee Wee. All right, Pee Wee. Shh.

All right, shake hands.

All right, so how do I get her up there, put a rope around her neck?

All right, studs. Everyone got their I. D?

All right, studs. Everyone got their I. D?

All right, Tim, that's enough. Knock it off! Knock it off!

All right, what's going on here?

All right, you're going.

All right! All right! Come on, let's go!

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Get him out of here and get him home. Now.

All right. I'll get my car. Hospital? Hospital?

All right. Thanks.

All right. We won't ask him.

All right. What about Sean Mulcahy O'Reilly?

All we gotta do now is wait.

All we need now is a Communist and a spic and we have the whole thing.

All you need is a watermelon and two jelly donuts.

Am I gonna have to take you home myself?

An hour.

And assault and battery. Now, hold on, Sheriff.

And be sure you pick up those clothes at the tailor's.

And Cherry, this is Pee Wee.

And don't call me Coach anymore.

And he'll do it for 10 bucks.

And he's making up the guest list.

And how do you know?

And I don't want my liquor license revoked.

And I just love to have fun.

And I mean that literally.

And I'm taking you to the principal.

And if any of you guys get out of line with any of my girls,

And if that doesn't work, just ask her.

And it is a menace.

And it's even longer with a hard on.

And kiss ass with all the n****es you want.

And meet us in the parking lot.

And Miss Balbricker can give a description.

And that's another one.

And the girls will be in there waiting for you.

And the pope is *******.

And the promise from your brother that all peccadillos

And this is Tim.

And this pile of shit come floating up to the surface. Hey.

And we

And we don't like everything he does,

And we have 'em send over one of their sketch artists.

And who are you?

And you can sc**** her off the mattress, Mickey.

And you can stick it up the old gazoo, Beulah.

And you thought **** were just smart.

And, Mr. Carter, I'm certain

Anthony Tuperello, affectionately known as Meat.

Any questions?

Anybody wanna go fly a kite with me tonight?

Anyway, did you get the n****?

Anyway, even though he's a schmuck,

Are you bullshitting me?

Are you kiddin'?

Are you kidding? You calling her a dog?

Are you ready, boys?

Are you shitting me?

Are you shitting...

Are you sure you're ready?

Arrest him.

As distasteful as it is.

As it is armed and dangerous.

As long as you let 'em know you know what you're doing.

As soon as the coaches are gone, Jew boy.

Asses all the way back to Angel Beach.

Asshole.

At Angel Beach High School.

Attaboy, Mick.

Aw, gee, I didn't know, Mickey. I'm sorry.

Aw, shit.

Aw, shoot.

Aw, Turner!

Back to Porky's.

Barkeep, I'd like to talk to Porky.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep...

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep...

Beg your pardon? The basketballs.

Behind the gym, Jew boy.

Beulah. Beulah Balbreaker.

Billy boy, y'all get the ******?

Billy loves those bird calls.

Billy, they just went in. Miss Walker's with them.

Billy, this is my friend John Conklin.

Billy, what's wrong with Meat?

Billy!

Billy!

Billy.

Bitch. Funny, huh? [Pee Wee Chuckling]

Blown tire. That's too bad.

Boy, it hurt like hell. Probably heard me all the way out here.

Boy, Miss Balbricker,

Brackett, you know I don't go all the way.

Brian Schwartz is my name. Brian.

Brian's a good guy.

Broken headlight. That's a $50 fine in Seward County.

Bullshit. That was no accident.

But as it is, I guess I'm talking to a ton of bad news

But bad news for the farm boys.

But beware of King Kong.

But can you imagine what the Board of Education would say

But don't expect too much.

But he just found out today he got turned down by Princeton.

But he's gonna get tired of you, then he's gonna hurt you bad.

But he's still our buddy, you know?

But I could swear this youngster's inebriated.

But I overheard this poor fellow saying

But I think this is the only way to find that boy.

But I'm missing it, man.

But I've got him now, and I'm not going

But if we find out he's drunk,

But Meat, listen. If you get suspended again,

But Mr. Carter...

But notice what's been happening.

But we better get him to a hospital.

But we got laws here about driving with busted headlights.

But we... No buts, Pee Wee.

But why don't you give me a hand here.

But you gotta understand he's got problems.

But you're a case, Cavanaugh.

By an exotic dancer in a few hours.

Bye! ♪♪ [Car Horn]

Call me Roy. I'm only 23, for Christ's sake.

Can I ask you something?

Can put a stop to this menace.

Can you cover it?

Can't wait to hear this story.

Cherry Forever?

Cherry Forever.

Cherry, meet Frank Bell.

Cherry, this is Steve.

Cindy and I are bringing the kids over on Sunday. I'll see you then.

Coach Goodenough, would you kindly

Coach, can I talk to you about Cavanaugh?

Come here. Come on.

Come on, baby. Oh, yeah.

Come on, be serious, now. I'm goin' tonight, right?

Come on, Billy!

Come on, Billy! [Boy Whooping]

Come on, Billy.

Come on, Billy. I'm coming.

Come on, Billy. They're gaining on us. They're gaining on us.

Come on, boy. Why don't you try some of that shit on me?

Come on, come on. Keep pumping, Billy.

Come on, girls. Don't be shy.

Come on, guys.

Come on, Jarvis, don't start that stuff again.

Come on, Jarvis. You mean the colored guy. The n****.

Come on, Jew boy.

Come on, man.

Come on, man. Let's go.

Come on, Meat, I'm serious.

Come on, Meat. If you go first, she'll be so reamed out,

Come on, move it.

Come on, shit for brains.

Come on, tiger. Let's go get 'em.

Come on, Timmy!

Come on, Timmy.

Come on, we're gonna miss her.

Come on!

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Don't stop.

Come on. Let's get him, fellas.

Come on. Yes. [Chuckling]

Come up here, you sawed off punk.

Cough. [Laughing]

Count me in.

Damn good shot though. He stuck his nose right in it.

Damn it! I told you we were gonna miss them!

Damn it! It's Blubber McNeil. I can't see a thing.

Damn it. We missed them. Shh.

Damn, there's my boy.

Damn.

Destroyed two of my cars.

Destruction of private property,

Did you get it?

Did you see Timmy's face?

Did you whip him?

Didn't you hear about the other night? No.

Do I mind what?

Do it. Do it.

Do me a favor, okay?

Do not attempt to apprehend this prick

Do some reconnaissance.

Do you believe that? Wait a minute. Wait. Wait.

Do you have to do this with my girlfriend?

Do you know Mike...

Do you think he's really going back?

Does a fat dog fart?

Doesn't have to be in jeopardy.

Doesn't know what the hell I'm talking about, but he's willing

Don't be alarmed, girls. This is just your health department.

Don't have a busted headlight?

Don't let me down. I'm gonna get that little creep.

Don't stop. Come on, keep pumping, baby. Yeah.

Don't tell 'em your name is Schwartz.

Don't worry, old buddy. I learned my lesson.

Don't worry. It'll only take a minute.

Don't you son of a bitches know the difference

Don't, Tommy. Don't make me.

Don't... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Edward Morris.

Edward. Up. Right now. [Knocking Continues]

Especially young guys. The more, the merrier.

Evening, Morris. Howdy.

Every time we go somewhere, you find some way to fuck it up.

Everything go all right?

Everything's under control, huh? Mr. Big Shot.

Except...

Fast break drill.

Fine with me, fat man.

First offenders. What do you say, Pork?

Five Angel Beach assholes here.

Five walking, talking rectums. [Chuckles]

Five young boys in the nude?

For an incriminating mole?

For being the biggest dickhead I ever went out with.

For Christ sakes, promise him.

For Christ sakes, promise him.

For God's sakes, we just blew up Porky's. That was my last chance.

For how long?

For me? What am I gonna do with 'em?

For me? What is it?

For the man who really measures up.

Forget it, okay? We lost. Come on.

Forget it, Pee Wee. Come on.

Forget it.

Four first names like most hillbillies?

Frankie?

Fred, that's angel food cake.

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. That's colorful redneck humor.

Funny.

Gas.

Gee,

Gee, Lynn, I don't know.

Geez.

Geez. [Clears Throat]

Gentlemen!

Gentlemen.

Get 'em.

Get going.

Get him, Tim!

Get him, Tim.

Get him, Timmy.

Get in there, Young. [Whistle]

Get it at Porky's.

Get me out of here.

Get off! Meat!

Get out of here! Move it!

Get ready for Jarvis's revenge.

Get rid of the beer, Cavanaugh. [Chuckles]

Get that piece of pig shit out here!

Get that Pigmobile out here.

Get their asses.

Get their asses.

Ginny, why don't you and the girls go inside?

Give it to her, Billy.

Give it to me.

Give it to me. Give me all you got.

Give me a break, will you, Turner?

Give you two girls for an hour or three girls for a half hour.

Go back. Just keep going back.

Go for it!

Go get him, tiger.

Go home, snot nose.

Go on.

Go on. Go on.

Go on. Here we go.

Go through the door and wait for a knock.

Go!

God! Shit!

Goddamn it, will you move it, you lard ass!

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it! [Laughing]

Goin' where?

Good luck, kiddo. I'll have everything ready.

Good morning, Angel Beach. It's April 12.

Good morning, Miss Balbricker.

Good news for the beach bunnies

Good.

Got her, Tommy.

Great defense, Miss Cavanaugh.

Great.

Guess my old man's not such a bad guy after all.

Guess what.

Guile, charm, persuasion.

Gun it, Billy! Gun it! [Indistinct]

Guys. Hi.

Had a mole on it, and that mole is the key to it.

Hang in there, buddy. [Grunts]

Hang in there.

Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?

Have been in your establishment? They've been comin' in.

Have you seen this prick?

He ain't too busy for what I wanna talk about.

He catches you, he's gonna cut your pecker off.

He had his heart set on Princeton.

He just got out of prison.

He might get confused.

He wanted to go after Porky.

He won't tell me.

He works for my old man's construction company.

He'll be the comedy relief.

He's a contemptible little pervert who's...

He's a jerk, and a Jew jerk at that.

He's a prick.

He's a schmuck.

He's bringin' tweezers.

He's extremely dangerous.

He's liable to fall in.

He's not a bad guy.

He's only been here a couple months. Give him a chance.

He's smashed. The son of a bitch does it all the time.

He's the meanest lookin' mother you ever saw.

Heck, those broads never take a shower.

Hell, no. They got some badasses out there.

Hell, Pee Wee. We thought you ran all the way home.

Hell, yes.

Hello. Hi.

Her hands felt like butter, man.

Her, her in the... Oh, and her.

Here we go again.

Here we go. Go on home now.

Here you go, Meat. You can use that for a spare.

Here, chickie. Here, chickie.

Here, use this one.

Here's 20, 40, 50, 60...

Hey, aren't you ready yet?

Hey, at least I got nuts.

Hey, beat it, would ya?

Hey, Billy, Ginny just went in.

Hey, Brian, where you going?

Hey, Brian. Wait a minute.

Hey, Cherry, break the window.

Hey, chief, what the hell is this?

Hey, come on, boys. No strippin', no dippin'. Come on, let's go.

Hey, come on. Take them off. Look sharp.

Hey, did you get the colored guy?

Hey, Frank, ask one of the car hops if Mike Hunt's outside.

Hey, get this.

Hey, guys, we're gonna get laid.

Hey, how's Porky? I haven't seen old Porky...

Hey, I didn't do that. I hardly touched his face.

Hey, Jarvis, I got something you could blow on, you know? [Moaning]

Hey, listen up!

Hey, listen, Cavanaugh.

Hey, man, broads are broads.

Hey, Mick, it's your brother.

Hey, Mickey. How's it going?

Hey, nobody's forcing you.

Hey, Pee Wee, what do you think this is?

Hey, Pee Wee.

Hey, Pee Wee. [Shouting]

Hey, Pee Wee. Hey, Pee Wee.

Hey, Porky, wait a minute.

Hey, shh. [Cherry Moaning]

Hey, shh. [Cherry Moaning]

Hey, stop it, Meat. Come on. Come on, there's girls.

Hey, Ted, we're going too.

Hey, that's cash in advance.

Hey, Tim, I was just thinking, maybe we ought to invite Brian tonight.

Hey, Timmy, Coach gonna let you play tonight?

Hey, Turner, if Pee Wee's with you, you better cover his eyes.

Hey, wait a minute. How come you guys ain't getting undressed?

Hey, wait a minute. I got sloppy seconds, you got ticklish thirds,

Hey, wait a minute. I know that guy.

Hey, wait.

Hey, watch it, buddy.

Hey, what are you looking so glum about, Pee Wee?

Hey, you guys. Wait up.

Hey, you, that's the only way I do business.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hi, Conklin.

Hi, Meat.

Hi, Miss Walker.

Hi, Pee Wee.

Hi, Pee Wee.

Hi, Pee Wee. What's going on? Oh, nothing.

Hi, Steve.

Hi, Tim.

Hi. My name is Mindy.

His father? Why?

His name's Michael Hunt.

His name's Michael Hunt.

His old man.

His tallywacker.

Hold it.

Hold on, my ass.

Holy shit!

Holy shit.

Holy shit. It's a pussy stampede.

Horny bastards. Get out of here.

Horny little mother wore a rubber to his date.

Hot damn, you like to live dangerously.

Hot damn! Let's step on it!

Hot damn! They're gonna croak when this guy jumps out! Who's goin'?

How did you learn to fight like that?

How many cubes of sugar does your cousin require

How many girls can we have for $100?

How often have you had to use it?

How to fill out the forms on that.

How was the pussy, boys?

How'd they do that, sir?

How's it going, Timmy? [Wolf Whistle]

How's Lassie?

How's she gonna tell that by looking at us?

How's that?

Howdy.

Hup.

I can hear you in there.

I can identify him

I did have it in drive, boss.

I didn't do it on purpose. Well, fuck you.

I don't believe this.

I don't care if she lives with a blue assed baboon.

I don't care if they're dead, as long as they're not too cold.

I don't feel so good.

I don't have a busted headlight.

I don't know if this is important,

I don't know much about the laws in Seward County

I don't know what can we do. If he strikes out with Wendy Williams,

I don't know why.

I don't know why.

I don't know, man. He gave me the slip.

I don't know, Pee Wee. Even a nymphomaniac has standards.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't like to take shit,

I don't think there's anybody left.

I don't think there's anybody left.

I don't want nobody to see none of you with any of my girls.

I don't want to see any of you guys get hurt.

I drew Cherry a map. Cherry?

I found a place that's got one. I'll go tomorrow.

I go more than a couple weeks, I start to get jittery.

I got 10.

I got 12.

I got five.

I got her! I got her!

I got mine.

I got my sources, Turner. Now, he's got

I got something you guys lost in the Everglades.

I got that right here.

I got the pig's tooth.

I gotta be the worst coach that ever lived.

I gotta put my shoes on.

I guess I can show a little leniency for

I guess we better go now.

I guess we better save him.

I had a cousin named Billy Joe Jim Bob and he was killed in the war,

I hate to do this,

I have little enough room for my girls as it is.

I heard you run tail ass from some ****** tonight.

I hope shit floats.

I hope you haven't grown too attached

I just don't see why we gotta invite a kite.

I knew you wanted it. [Imitates Tarzan]

I know I'm dead.

I know it's him.

I know it's you,

I know this is completely unorthodox,

I know what it is.

I know.

I left my I.D. At home.

I like it. [Blows Raspberries]

I like it...

I mean,

I mean, it turns me on. It always has.

I need a rubber. Didn't I tell you?

I notice you're still including yourself in.

I personally am gonna kick your candied

I promise to shove my foot...

I said I promise to...

I saw it!

I saw it. I saw it.

I should have gotten better odds.

I swear to God, I'll kill you.

I think I got three.

I think I have a way out of this.

I think I know that kid.

I think it's great weather for flying kites.

I think we can get you one to three for felonious assault.

I thought he didn't drink.

I thought he had scholarship offers from 60 other colleges.

I understand you tried to butt heads with Porky.

I understand.

I used my face to break the son of a bitch's hand.

I wanna pay for some pussy.

I wanna see Porky.

I wanna talk to Porky.

I want a piece of your fat ass.

I want them booked on felony charges,

I want to see Porky, and I want to see him now!

I was giving the old place an enema

I won't overdo it.

I wonder if there are any kites around here we can fly.

I wonder what I could book you for.

I'd be an idiot to go mess with those shitkickers, right?

I'd have whipped him if it hadn't been for that sheriff.

I'd know that penis anywhere.

I'd like to feed him his nuts for lunch.

I'd rather be queer.

I'd recognize that penis anywhere.

I'd think I was talking to the fat lady in the circus,

I'll be looking forward to that, Slime.

I'll educate you. I'll wrap this right around your damn neck.

I'll have you fired for moral turpitude.

I'll kill you all. No!

I'll kill you white boys.

I'll let you off on the promise

I'll say. What do you use for a jock strap, kid,

I'll see you again.

I'll take care of it. I'll take care of it.

I'll take care of it. Take care of that, Mick.

I'll take care of this.

I'll take care of this.

I'll talk to Coach Goodenough.

I'm as cherry as George Washington's tree.

I'm cherry.

I'm drowning! I'm drowning!

I'm goin' home, you son of a bitch, what do you think?

I'm goin'. Ask 'em. They said I could go.

I'm going back to get that pig.

I'm going to nail her fat ass.

I'm going tonight! You're not cuttin' me out of any free nooky!

I'm going. 8:00, right?

I'm gonna break your fuckin' necks myself.

I'm gonna get laid. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

I'm gonna get you.

I'm gonna give you a night to remember.

I'm gonna kill you with my bare hands.

I'm having you put under a peace bond, Mr. Cavanaugh.

I'm just trying to help.

I'm long gone after this semester anyway.

I'm looking for a friend of mine. He's supposed to be there.

I'm not afraid of you.

I'm okay.

I'm sorry about that, Officer Jarvis.

I'm sorry, babe. No cigar. Can't do it.

I'm sure you boys can manage that.

I'm sure you do.

I've always wanted a shot at that mother.

I've got things to do, you hear?

I've got you now, Tommy Turner

I've never seen anybody drown in a bowl of chili before.

I've never seen so much wool. You could knit a sweater.

If being a man means being what you are,

If he goes out there again, I'll work him over.

If the woman you love turned her back on you?

If there's any sign of any guns

If we could just... Yeah.

If we hadn't seen him, he would have.

If you don't tell me why they call her Lassie.

If you ever come near me again,

If you were granted a lineup

If you're not cherry, you don't get Wendy.

In a minute, darlin'.

In order to examine their private par... [Stammering]

In spite of the juvenile snickers of some,

In that case, you're due for a nervous breakdown.

In the equipment room. No!

Is Mike Hunt here?

Is Mike Hunt here?

Is Mike Hunt in the parking lot?

Is that his girlfriend had just broken up with him.

Is that Tommy Turner?

Is that you give me five boys for a few minutes.

It always turned me on and I really...

It fits over your dick. [Laughter]

It looks like King Kong's rubber. What's it for?

It runs in the family, I'm afraid.

It sucks!

It was an accident, Coach.

It was him. I was just watching.

It was last seen hanging out in the girls' locker room

It's 64 degrees, expecting to reach a high of 76.

It's 70 miles out in the Everglades. We got a game Saturday night.

It's a bright, beautiful spring day.

It's a Ramses. Curse of the pharaohs.

It's bad enough, I was going out of jurisdiction

It's been a couple years since I been to the old joint.

It's disgusting.

It's for Pee Wee. You like it?

It's gone.

It's got a pink interior.

It's got a pink interior.

It's kike. K I K E. Kike.

It's kind of like a trophy.

It's Mickey.

It's not half as funny as the look on your face.

It's not kites.

It's okay, Pee Wee. Take it easy. We'll get 'em next time.

It's okay, Pee Wee. We'll take your word for it.

It's only two feet deep.

It's perfect.

It's Tommy and Brian. Let's go get 'em.

It's too big. [Laughter]

It's too late now.

It's your night, tiger. Pick the one you want.

Jarvis, you stupid redneck.

Jesus Christ. It's the mother lode.

Jesus, what the hell was that?

Jesus. Meat, give Pee Wee your I.D.

Just a few little jabs. I couldn't have done that.

Just act cool. Think you can handle that?

Just don't tell anyone. [Man] We won't tell anybody.

Just eating her heart out waiting for Pee Wee.

Just get her up in the equipment room. You'll find out.

Just get her up there and all things shall be made clear.

Just great.

Just hope he lives to outgrow it.

Just put a little weight behind it.

Just sit tight.

Just stand up straight.

Just wait one minute. Something's wrong here.

Keep pumping. Come on, boys.

Keep your balls off my tumbling mat?

Lassie?

Lassie's fine.

Learn to fight or you take a lot of shit.

Leave it. Come on.

Left hand raw. Right hand smacko.

Let me do Meat.

Let me go!

Let's get it over with. [Laughs]

Let's get out there and get America moving forward.

Let's go back inside. [Laughing]

Let's go now.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go. Come on.

Let's not invite too many guys. That way we all get her twice.

Let's see.

Like a frigid hippopotamus, Beulah.

Like a precision drill team.

Like an African Zulu man. 6'4, two huge gold teeth.

Listen to this midget. He's not even invited

Listen, Billy, be careful.

Listen, Junior, you go back and he kicks

Listen, when you're *******, you either

Listen, you guys wanna get laid or you wanna have a debate?

Little dip. [Chuckling]

Look out! [Screaming]

Look when we go to Porky's,

Look, Brian, Tim's our buddy,

Look, it doesn't have to happen tonight, right?

Look, ladies, I don't...

Look, let me talk to you alone for a second, okay?

Look, man, this is getting serious. I gotta get laid.

Look, Pee Wee, you wanna get laid or not?

Look, you know you're welcome to stay

Looks like I'm gonna make a man out of you yet, boy.

Louie, Hymie, Abie, Sam.

Lucky you.

Lucky.

Make sure you're finished

Man is not known by inches alone.

Man, are you sure they could find this place?

Man, this broad is hot.

Man, this broad is really hot.

Manslaughter. Killed a guy in a fight.

Maybe a collapsed lung. Billy, get an ambulance.

Maybe there's some horny midget out there

Me neither. I wouldn't even know

Me neither. I wouldn't even know

Meanwhile, I'll be glad to finish this strictly off the record.

Meat, Meat, Meat. Wait, wait, wait.

Meat, this way. This way. Run. Run.

Meat?

Meat's with him.

Mick, I'm telling you, they're bad mothers.

Mickey, are you crazy?

Mickey, look, I don't mind you being stupid, but this is crazy.

Mickey, you promised to get me laid.

Mickey, you're not thinking of going back out there, are you?

Mickey. Mickey, where you going?

Mike Hunt? Okay, just hang on a minute.

Mike, Mike. Yes, Mike.

Minutes or you don't play ball this week.

Miss Balbricker, do you realize

Miss Balbricker.

Miss Honeywell, do you mind?

Miss Walker.

Moral turpitude!

Moral turpitude.

Moral turpitude.

Morris, you're dead.

Mr. Carter?

Mr. Porky.

Must be catching.

My foot!

My friends and I here would like to party with five of your girls

My God, the boy's deformed.

My, you look nice this morning. Are you losing weight?

Nah. I got some things.

Nah. Too *******. Let's not take any chances.

Named Beulah, Beulah, Beulah!

Nestled by the shore in fabulous south Florida.

Nice face, Wendy. Get out of here.

Nice move, Tim. [Grunts]

Nice pass, Cavanaugh.

No kidding. Hey, Mickey. Porky.

No shit, Sherlock.

No shit.

No, it doesn't have to be done tonight.

No, Mick.

No, no, we... What's that, boy?

No, you're not.

No! No! Look out, Tommy!

No. Just let him be. I'm not afraid of him.

No. No!

Nobody else will be able to touch the sides.

Nobody has to get hurt, and your career

Nobody who plays like that plays for me. Move.

Not a drop of rain in sight.

Not at all. Not at all.

Not sort of. Why?

Not to worry, gentlemen. Tuperello's on the job.

Now come on. We're late for practice.

Now get this car out of Seward County.

Now I'm never gonna get laid.

Now think about that.

Now to help you start the day, the singin' rage, Miss Patty Page.

Now wait a minute.

Now, get off the floor now. You're suspended indefinitely.

Now, it's a long ride back home,

Now, it's gonna be dark. I don't want you to be surprised.

Now, just where were you headed?

Now, listen, he just imported this whole load of Cuban broads.

Now, listen.

Now, listen. The one in your left hand is the raw egg, okay?

Now, sit here and do nothing. Don't buy any drinks.

Now, sit here...

Now, son, that's no way to talk to your pa.

Now, tell me, gentlemen, wouldn't you be likely to toss down a few

Now, what the hell does it mean? Come on, Fred.

Now!

Of clean cut Angel Beach pussies.

Officer, excuse me, but I couldn't help

Oh, be careful.

Oh, Billy, you're so good, I can't stand it.

Oh, Billy. Oh, Billy.

Oh, Billy. Oh, Tommy.

Oh, boy, Porky, we're really scared.

Oh, boy, would I like to get next to that.

Oh, boy. [Sniffs]

Oh, Brackett.

Oh, bullshit.

Oh, come on, Lynn.

Oh, come on.

Oh, damn. Oh, God.

Oh, feel better now, huh?

Oh, funny, a brother act.

Oh, funny, Tommy. Real funny.

Oh, geez!

Oh, goddamn it. [Chuckling]

Oh, I'll take care of that, Miss Balbricker.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, just a bystander.

Oh, look at that.

Oh, look at this one.

Oh, man, this broad must be from Brooklyn.

Oh, man. All you gotta do is know how to operate.

Oh, Mickey.

Oh, no, Officer.

Oh, no, Pee Wee. I don't know.

Oh, no, you... Wendy! Wendy.

Oh, nothing. I just pulled a little muscle in my groin.

Oh, real funny.

Oh, shit, I knew that. I'm just trying to have fun with the broad.

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit! This way, Meat!

Oh, shit.

Oh, smell that air.

Oh, smell.

Oh, there's no problem there. She's... [Vehicle Approaching]

Oh, these eggs.

Oh, they seem like a nice bunch

Oh, they're hot. These broads are hot.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you got a big Jew mouth, just like your big Jew nose.

Oh!

Oh! [Sniffs]

Oh. Oh, they love it.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Okay, Brian's got something.

Okay, Cherry, sit down.

Okay, Cherry.

Okay, Cherry. Cherry, get it started. Go ahead.

Okay, girls, if you're gonna kiss each other,

Okay, go ahead.

Okay, here comes your night to remember.

Okay, I gotta go relieve Coach.

Okay, I'm ready.

Okay, if that's what you want. [Chuckling]

Okay, it's over. Come on, let's get on back to the dance.

Okay, let me see your driver's license.

Okay, let's move it out.

Okay, okay, no problem. I've got it right here.

Okay, okay! Hold it, hold it!

Okay, pull over.

Okay, thanks.

Okay, we'll take three for 30 minutes.

Okay, you guys, get your shoulders behind this thing.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Cherry's ready.

Okay. Come on, I'll show you.

Okay. Oh, God.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Pick out what you want.

Okay. The coast is clear. Let's go.

One, two, three, four. Up, down.

Or anything, don't bother hooking us up.

Or I'd have torn that sucker a new one.

Or you'll be back shoveling pig shit.

Originality, neatness and hygiene.

Otherwise, let's get on back to the dance, right?

Ow! Be quiet. Shh, shh, shh.

Ow! Shh, shh, shh.

Ow. Geez.

Patience, my boy. Patience.

Pay me.

Pee Wee and Wendy?

Pee Wee Morris.

Pee Wee, I think we've done just about everybody.

Pee Wee, I'm gonna get you.

Pee Wee, she just said hi to you.

Pee Wee, tie a knot in this end.

Pee Wee, we don't have any training rubbers.

Pee Wee, would you get me some sugar from the end of the counter?

Pee Wee, you better go call Ted.

Pee Wee, you love it, and you know it.

Pee Wee, you're about to get laid

Pee Wee.

Pee Wee's tired of ham hocks.

Penis is so person...

Penis is so personal.

Please step forward and spread your legs.

Please, can we call it a tallywacker?

Poor white trash.

Pork! Pork!

Porky gimme that about six years ago.

Porky is a businessman.

Porky Wallace, get it?

Porky!

Porky's busy.

Porky's is gone.

Porky's.

Porky's. Oh, Jesus.

Positively. [Moans]

Practically everybody in town, from what I heard.

President Eisenhower's running a tight ship ofstate.

Princeton sucks!

Procurer what? We're out 20 bucks apiece.

Promise him.

Pull him over.

Put handcuffs on her?

Read your contract, Miss Honeywell.

Really?

Ream yourself.

Redneck.

Religious fanatics.

Report immediately to Beulah Balbricker.

Right there.

Right, Pee Wee.

Right, Pee Wee. Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right. Kiss my rebel ass.

Save your energy, needle dick. You're gonna need it.

School card would lie about his age?

See that doorway over there? You step in there, and you wait.

See what those kids did to my club? Hit that pig whistle!

See ya later, Mick. Hey, Pee Wee, it must be embarrassing to...

See you guys later.

See you guys.

See you later, boys.

See, it's real easy for him to take it all out on you,

See, you just gotta show him who's boss, right?

She did, huh? Uh huh.

She got so pissed off, she wouldn't even let him touch her.

She lives with a big black stud.

She reaches down, she unzips his fly and she grabs his cock.

She touched your nuts.

She wants a piece of your ass.

She's almost got it.

She's comin' for it. [Snickering]

She's done this so many times, she's practically a doctor.

She's drooling.

She's got a great body, moves like an eagle.

She's got it.

She's gotta make sure everybody's clean. No V.D.

She's only a freshman.

She's still a virgin, but she's fine.

Sheriff of Wallacetown? Where the hell's Wallacetown?

Sheriff's office.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Shh, shh. Shh, shh, shh.

Shh, shh. Son of a bitch.

Shh! Hey, hold still, man.

Shh! What?

Shh.

Shh. Damn, I thought she had better taste than that.

Shh. Kong.

Shh. Shh, shh.

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit! [Laughing]

Shit! One's coming for it.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit. I got 15 bucks.

Shoot. This guy's a ringer.

Shorts, shirt...

Should I give these nice lads a break?

Should we go out there?

Should've left him there the last time.

Shut the fuck up!

Shut up, boy. Just shut up.

Shut up, geez.

Slow down, Mick. It's about a quarter of a mile on the left.

Slow night.

So all's right with the world, so...

So I fix him up with Wendy.

So I learned how to box, and I studied a little jujitsu.

So just watch what you're saying.

So long, Brian.

So what happened? Two days' suspension?

So where's Mickey?

Somebody get the principal! [Laughing]

Somebody get the principal. Mr. Carter!

Something for Pee Wee.

Soo ey! Soo! Soo, soo, Sooey!

Sorry I'm late, Coach, but I had a case of the runs.

Sorry.

Speakin' of horny mothers, it's ready Eddie.

Squirming about like a pair of eels in heat.

Step on it! Go!

Suit yourself.

Sure, you do. Let's step outside. We don't want to ruin...

T.N.T. T.N.T. Turner.

Take it easy, Brian.

Take it easy, Brian.

Take off his sweater. Put it behind his head.

Take them off.

Take your time, mister.

Tallywacker [Snickering]

Tell him the boys from Angel Beach are here.

Tell him to bring the best he's got

Tell you a little secret.

Ten bucks, not bad. Yeah. You sure the broad's all set?

Thank you, Officer.

Thank you.

Thank you. Will do.

Thanks. Whoo!

That

That boy been drinkin'?

That boy really is deformed.

That door.

That everyone in this room knows who that is.

That girl wants to be loved for her mind.

That Japanese stuff, right? Yeah.

That lying bitch.

That means it'll cost you two bucks to see 'em, stupid.

That might have occurred tonight will be forgotten.

That satisfies my sense of proportion.

That seducer and despoiler must be stopped.

That sounds like a guy's voice.

That the reason he'd gotten drunk tonight

That won't stop him.

That's a $35 fine. Thirty five bucks or a night in jail.

That's a buck.

That's a lot of horny dicks.

That's a real woman. Yeah.

That's all I got to say, all right? [Whistles]

That's all right. You guys could be twins. Got any other cards?

That's all?

That's crooked, Frankie. You been screwing around corners?

That's enough. All right! It's over! Let me go!

That's great.

That's her professional name.

That's her professional name. What can I tell you?

That's ******* for prick, right?

That's my Bible school card.

That's right, real slow.

That's the back way up to the pen.

That's the oldest joke in the world.

That's the one you hit him with.

That's the way I like 'em.

The basketball player?

The boys' locker room always turned me on.

The car won't start.

The coaches can be present.

The coast is clear. Can you believe this dialogue?

The girls are waiting, Miss Honeywell.

The girls' tumbling team just went in.

The guy tried to muff dive one of the strippers.

The guy's 6'4, has gold teeth.

The little bastard already had a rubber on.

The one in your right hand, that's the hard boiled egg.

The Pigmobile.

The return desk at Macy's?

The sheriff out here happens to be a badass mother.

The stars are secure and the rent's paid for the month.

The two of you

The youngsters.

Their private parts

Their racket is getting you to buy

Their... [Groans]

There it is.

There you are. Now let's do it.

There's five of you, right?

There's gotta be somebody.

There's nothing left but ham hocks.

There's the county line, goddamn it. Step on it!

These broads overpriced drinks.

These eggs?

These eggs?

They been comin' in there for the past few weeks.

They just destroyed my nightclub.

They should both be there already. I took Conklin myself.

They want us to look. They're hot, I'm telling you!

They're fantastic.

They're for you.

They're for you.

They're going first, but I got sloppy seconds.

They're going in. Miss Walker's with 'em. Come on!

They're gonna shit.

They're gonna shit. Shit.

They're gonna shit. They're gonna shit.

They're in my car. [Chuckling]

They're ready.

They're starting to leave. Shit!

They're still out there.

This 16 year old and this 17 year old youngster,

This ain't the first time, especially that little...

This bullshit is you're a pack of underage kids

This car is a mess.

This chili tastes like shit!

This guy's dangerous. I mean, he's playing around with you now,

This has got to be the biggest beaver shoot in the history of Florida.

This here's a man's county. Go on, get the fuck out.

This is a serious matter.

This is Dixie, baby, where we do things right.

This is Gene Morrison coming to you from W.A.C.N. Angel Beach

This is great. I'm gonna get her.

This is great. It's great, Meat. It's great.

This is Miss Cherry Forever.

This is the best one yet. What now?

This is the hard boiled one.

This is the pride of Angel Beach,

This one, and that little bastard back there.

This place in Miami.

This room upstairs called Porky's Pen.

Those guys are prejudiced out there.

Tim, what's your problem, man?

Tim, you get your ass over here!

Tim's old man.

Timmy that's...

Timmy, this is the raw one. That's the hard boiled one.

Timmy, Timmy...

Timmy!

To Angel Beach, Coach Brackett.

To have anybody know you're my pa.

To let him slip through my fingers again.

To Seward County and you keep 'em there.

Tommy Turner and any four boys

Tommy, come on, baby. Come on, Tommy. Get over here.

Tommy, Miss Walker's hot.

Tommy, what are you doing? [Laughing]

Tommy, where are my clothes?

Tommy! [Screaming]

Tommy...

Tommy...

Too bad, Jew boy.

Tore his ear off with his bare hands.

Trash. Poor trash.

Trying to be a big man?

Turner, I wanna talk to you.

Turner, why don't you go and sit on a snake?

Turner, you're dead.

Turner.

Turner.

Two cubes of sugar

Two games and 2,000 laps. You're kidding.

Two.

Uh huh. That's the one you drop.

Uh oh.

Uh, M M M...

Up there, Roy.

Up, down.

Up, you big huskies. Up! [Chattering]

Upstairs in Porky's Pen.

Usually is enough to bring Anthony around.

Wait a minute, where are they going?

Wait a minute. Come here, Fred.

Wait a minute. What's this bullshit about?

Wait for a knock, step through another door, and you're in.

Wait, I forgot. Which one is...

Wait.

Wait. Wait. Meat's still running.

Wanna take a peek?

Warm up?

Watch it, man. Geez.

Watch my lips. Those eggs.

Watch this.

Watch your jock, Tommy. Watch your jock.

Way to go, tiger.

We been out twice. Zero, man, zilch.

We call the police, [Snickers]

We can put hoods over their heads to avoid embarrassment.

We can put up wanted posters all over school.

We did it!

We didn't know she was your wife. Besides, it wasn't me.

We got a game tomorrow.

We got inspected last week.

We have got to do it

We may have made a mistake. Obviously they're not the youngsters.

We need about 30 bucks apiece.

We shouldn't have brought him along.

We'll just be a minute.

We're about to go on a beaver shoot. You wanna come with?

We're getting the hell out, all right?

We're gonna book the whole lot of you as accessories.

We're gonna get together at his place, 4:00 Sunday, all right?

We're gonna give Porky a night to remember.

We're gonna have to babysit with him.

We're gonna have to tie a board across his ass.

We're gonna make it.

We're here to check out all unlicensed pussies.

We're just gonna go up and have a cup of coffee

We're just waiting for the guys under the bridge.

We're the boys who eat no ham.

Well, any luck?

Well, don't move him. Don't move him.

Well, he doesn't,

Well, I was hoping.

Well, I'm all for that. What do you got in mind?

Well, I'm sorry,

Well, it looks like to me we got

Well, let's find out.

Well, listen, I got to go.

Well, Mr. Porky,

Well, now, if you guys say he's a diabetic, okay,

Well, she's not bad.

Well, that's really interesting, Lynn,

Well, they ain't leaving.

Well, this was the first time.

Well, we figure we gotta get Pee Wee laid, right?

Well, we thought you'd like to wear one today.

Well, what can I tell you?

Well, what happened?

Well, what should we do?

Well, what's he look like?

Well, who you talking to, boy?

Well, you do what you can.

Well, you know my motto,

Well?

Well? [Sighs]

Well.

Well...

Well... Oh, all right, all right.

Wendy Williams told me I should ask you.

Wendy, hon, would you get that for me?

Wendy, I will get you.

Were you sure you'd remember how?

What a perfect ending.

What about Paddy Aloysius O'Brian?

What about the majorettes?

What are they doing?

What are they up to now? ♪♪ [Horn Continues]

What are we gonna do?

What are you checking for?

What are you doing with those eggs?

What are you gonna do about it?

What are you talking about, Brian?

What are you talking about, Pork?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? I'm going tonight.

What are you, a psycho? What's with the eggs?

What did I tell you?

What did you call me?

What do we do now?

What do you got to spend, bottle caps?

What do you mean, break Pee Wee's cherry?

What do you say, Turner?

What do you think this is? What are you, a tough guy or something, huh?

What do you want, a beer?

What do you want?

What do you want? I got something for you.

What eggs?

What eggs? Those eggs.

What eggs? Those eggs.

What good is it gonna do? It's got my picture.

What in the world... [Laughter]

What is that?

What the hell is this tonight, Looney Tunes?

What the hell was that?

What was he in for?

What we need here is some professional help.

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Is there an echo here?

What? Shit.

What're you guys doin' in there?

What's goin' on?

What's going on here, Pork?

What's going on here?

What's going on, you motherfuckers?

What's his name?

What's she look like? She good looking?

What's that, Wendy?

What's this bullshit?

What's this bullshit?

What's up?

What's with him?

What's wrong with you, Pee Wee?

Whatever they want.

When are you gonna learn, son?

When he's had too much insulin?

When I get through with him, he'll think Porky's his mama.

Where are these five little virgins

Where did you find him?

Where did you get it?

Where the hell were you when I needed you?

Where's it coming from?

Where's Mickey?

Where's your car, boy?

Which one's been comin' in?

Who cares?

Who do you think you're talking to?

Who is this guy?

Who said anything about going all the way?

Who wants to see Porky?

Who's asking to see me?

Who's she gonna get?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoo. You better duck, you suckers, when Jarvis is at the wheel.

Why do they call you Lassie?

Why do they call you Meat?

Why do they call you Meat? 'Cause you're so big?

Why do they...

Why do we gotta invite a Jew?

Why do you call her Lassie?

Why do you think?

Why don't you stick it up your...

Why don't you...

With that sneaky Jap stuff, huh?

With Tommy or I as long as you like.

Without adding a charge of contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Would you be quiet?

Would you kindly keep them in your own court?

Would you shut up? And you stay on your side.

Would you stop that? [Cherry] You big mother.

Y'all goin' back to Oklahoma and Michigan

Yeah, a beer. A beer would be good.

Yeah, but anything goes. We can go Friday night after the game.

Yeah, but did you see the way she said hi to me?

Yeah, but Miss Walker, a real woman, and I missed her.

Yeah, come on. Let's go.

Yeah, for sure, a regular. Just stop talking and start drinking.

Yeah, he does, but for some reason,

Yeah, I got something to satisfy your sense of proportion.

Yeah, I guess she could use you for a little recess period.

Yeah, I noticed.

Yeah, I think I'll be all right.

Yeah, I wonder if he realizes just how lucky he was.

Yeah, I've been reinstated.

Yeah, let's go!

Yeah, let's see 'em both.

Yeah, Meat!

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, right here.

Yeah, right, Mick.

Yeah, right. And who's gonna inspect her?

Yeah, sort of.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, Tim, us little guys need our enforcer.

Yeah, we got one.

Yeah, we know.

Yeah, we saw it.

Yeah, we thought you might like to wear one today.

Yeah, well, keep looking.

Yeah, well, that scumbag sheriff is Porky's brother.

Yeah, who'd believe a guy with a Bible

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Perfect.

Yeah, you should be writing these down. Immigrants.

Yeah, you're right. I gotta go home and warm up.

Yeah, you're right. It would be a lot of hassle.

Yeah! [Chuckles]

Yeah! Whoo!

Yeah?

Yeah? Well, it sure beats stomping and waddling around

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. But after this, she'll be an instant senior.

Yeah. Princeton?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You said if we pulled it off, you'd break Pee Wee's cherry.

Yee hah!

Yee hah! Go, Billy. Let's go. We're gonna do it now.

Yes, sir?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Yes! [Screams]

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes.

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yo.

You all right, son?

You aren't even allowed to look at her with her clothes on.

You bastard, Tommy.

You bastards, you left me out there.

You be at the breakfast table in five

You better be. Get your ass on home.

You better fucking freeze, buster!

You better get out of here, otherwise

You can party with these Cuban dancers

You can take your moral turpitude

You can tell me why they call her Lassie.

You check that car out?

You come near this boy again, I'll have you arrested.

You could get fired, Coach.

You could put me on a banana split, I'm so cherry.

You crazy? You'll get your throat slit.

You didn't do it.

You didn't hear about that?

You dirty little...

You don't look too terrific tonight, brother.

You filthy little pervert.

You freak!

You from Seward County?

You get your ass on home, boy! Now!

You get your candy asses back over

You got a busted taillight too. That's 20 more dollars.

You got filthy fourths, you got fall in fifths,

You got five? You got 15, huh?

You got it.

You got slippin' and slidin' sixths,

You gotta let me do it to somebody.

You guys don't know how to talk redneck.

You guys take a number and sit down.

You hear me?

You heard the man.

You heard what I said.

You know something? That scumbag sheriff sided with Porky.

You know, I never had any Cuban pussy.

You know, I really wish you wouldn't have said that.

You know, I'm not a doctor,

You know, it's a good thing Ted stepped in,

You know, like Billy Joe Jim Bob or Flora May Sally Sue.

You know, man, this better work. Don't worry.

You know, Pee Wee, you never looked so good.

You know, they're makin' out. And you know Wendy.

You know, you're really the tolerant type, Cavanaugh.

You know, you're really the tolerant type, Cavanaugh.

You know, you're too stupid to even be a good bigot.

You like 'em any way, as long as they're not dead.

You like that, kid?

You little piece of shit. [Chuckling]

You little prick...

You little, filthy pervert!

You look much older.

You love it. [Screams]

You okay?

You ought to like that, Mickey.

You put a lot of weight behind that one.

You really get a kick out of this sort of thing, don't you?

You really wanna know? Yes.

You really worked him over, didn't you, Schwartz?

You see fit to choose,

You see that right there?

You should see him. I messed him up good.

You sons of bitches.

You sure took care of those guys, Pee Wee.

You sure you didn't hear about the other night?

You sure? Does a bear shit in the woods?

You talking about that door over there?

You think this means Tommy and Miss Balbricker are engaged?

You touch her, and the Food and Drug

You wait here.

You wanna tangle ass with me?

You want five of my piglets up in the pen?

You wouldn't know what to do with Miss Walker even if she told you.

You, on the other hand, are gonna be dead

You'll float if I catch you around here again.

You'll never get that scholarship to Princeton.

You're a big man when you're kicking the ass out of kids

You're a disgrace.

You're a horseshit procurer.

You're both dead men.

You're dead, you sons of bitches.

You're gonna die. I'm comin' after you. You're all dead.

You're gonna get in big trouble.

You're in my county now.

You're kidding me.

You're looking at it. It's just Porky's storm troopers.

You're next, Pee Wee.

You're not allowed to think about her with her clothes off.

You're one smooth mother, Schwartz.

You're pulling my chain, Fred. The girl's a virgin.

You're right. Come on, let's go.

You're right. He's a prick.

You've blown away our engine. We got one flat tire. How?

You've gotta let me do Meat. No.

Your ass again, what you gonna do?

Your ass is mine, says Kong.

Your ass, Pee Wee. I'm second.

Your father wants you to drop him off at the office.

30 bucks?

'Cause he got into a fight with a Jew, and he lost.

'cause he thinks you're putting him down.

'cause this is the last time you ever lay

'Cause you don't know how humiliating it is

[Air Horn Blows]

[All Chattering]

[All Laughing]

[All Laughing]

[All Shouting]

[All Shouting]

[All Shouting] Will you all knock it off?

[All] Wear your rubber.

[Billy] The worst thing is you guys are out 100 bucks.

[Blows Whistle] Cavanaugh, get off the floor.

[Both Laugh] Now, all I'm asking

[Both Laughing]

[Both Snickering] Now, that penis had a mole on it.

[Boy] Go!

[Boy] I wonder if Pee Wee can use it.

[Boy] She gonna be asleep.

[Boy] What now, right?

[Boys Groan]

[Boys Shouting, Whooping]

[Brackett] Come on, step aside. Look out.

[Brian] I appreciate that.

[Brian] Nobody has to get hurt.

[Car Doors Closing]

[Car Starts]

[Car Starts]

[Chattering, Laughing Continues]

[Chattering]

[Chattering]

[Chattering]

[Chattering]

[Chattering]

[Chattering]

[Chattering]

[Chattering] [Pee Wee] Where you goin', kiddo?

[Cheering, Whistling]

[Cheering]

[Cheering] [Whistling]

[Cheering] ♪♪ [Country]

[Cheering] ♪♪ [Marching Band]

[Cheers, Applause]

[Cherry Moaning] Bingo!

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles] For me?

[Chuckles] Great.

[Chuckles] Great.

[Chuckles] Oh!

[Chuckling]

[Chuckling]

[Chuckling]

[Chuckling]

[Chuckling]

[Chuckling]

[Chuckling] Everybody get their clothes off.

[Chuckling] Holy Jesus.

[Chuckling] I know I got her.

[Chuckling] Oh... Shh!

[Chuckling] Okay, what did you do now, Pee Wee?

[Chuckling] Shh.

[Chuckling] This broad's hot. She's really hot.

[Chuckling] Yeah, sort of.

[Chuckling] Yeah.

[Clamoring]

[Clanking]

[Clattering] Yo. Billy.

[Clears Throat]

[Clears Throat]

[Clears Throat] Mr. Porky, I am.

[Clock Buzzing] Hit the floor. Right now.

[Continues Moaning] Go ahead. Go on.

[Engine Starts]

[Engine Starts] Good night.

[Gasping] Oh, Mick.

[Giggling]

[Girl Screams] Now you got any more smart talk?

[Girl] Yeah, who is it? Who's back there?

[Girls Chanting] One, two, three, four.

[Girls Laughing]

[Girls Screaming]

[Girls Screaming]

[Glass Shattering]

[Glasses Rattling, Breaking] Come on, Billy, gun it, goddamn it!

[Groaning]

[Groaning] Jesus. Jesus.

[Groaning] Now you...

[Groaning] Oh, shit.

[Groaning] Pee Wee, what's wrong?

[Groans]

[Groans] Instant eunuch.

[Growling]

[Growling] Here she comes.

[Growls]

[Grunting]

[Grunts]

[Grunts] Ow! Oh, shit.

[Grunts] Right.

[Guffawing]

[Hissing] Broke your radiator.

[Hooting]

[Horn Honks]

[Howling Continues]

[Howling Continues]

[Howling Continues]

[Howling]

[Howling]

[Howling] Man, you are driving me nuts with this howling bit.

[Howls]

[Howls]

[Imitates Bird]

[Imitates Bird]

[Imitates Bird]

[In Falsetto] Here, chickie, chickie. Good chickie. Here, chickie.

[In Falsetto] Hi. I'm Paulie the Penis,

[Indistinct Conversations]

[Indistinct]

[Indistinct]

[Keening]

[Knocking On Door]

[Knocking] [Pee Wee] Billy. Billy!

[Laughing Continues]

[Laughing Continues]

[Laughing, Chattering]

[Laughing, Chattering]

[Laughing, Hooting]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing] [Groans]

[Laughing] Get him, brother!

[Laughing] He's as cherry as they come.

[Laughing] Hold still, man. She's comin' for it.

[Laughing] Look at this pig.

[Laughing] Shh.

[Laughs] Oh.

[Laughter Continues]

[Laughter Continues] [Man] Jesus Christ.

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter] I promise.

[Laughter] Now.

[Lynn Howling]

[Lynn Moaning]

[Lynn Moaning]

[Lynn Screaming] [Laughing]

[Man Laughing] Gobble, gobble, gobble.

[Man] Come on, Jew boy.

[Man] What are you waiting for?

[Man] What the hell is that?

[Meat] Remember, they're paid to be hot, Casanova.

[Mickey] Hell, yeah. We're ready, Porky.

[Mickey] No sweat, Tim. It's under control.

[Mickey] Watch it, it's Kong.

[Moaning Continues]

[Moaning Continues]

[Moaning, Muttering]

[Moaning]

[Moaning] Come on, Lynn. Time out. Time out.

[Moaning] Don't stop.

[Moaning] Listen to that, Pee Wee.

[Moaning] Lynn. Lynn, Lynn!

[Moaning] Oh, I don't...

[Moans]

[Moans] Arrest him.

[Muttering, Indistinct]

[Muttering] What's that? I can't hear you, Sheriff.

[No Audible Dialogue]

[No Audible Dialogue]

[No Audible Dialogue]

[No Audible Dialogue]

[No Audible Dialogue] Bye.

[Oinking]

[Pee Wee] Billy! Billy! Tommy.

[Pee Wee] Did you see those broads, you guys? They are really hot.

[Pee Wee] Hey, you guys!

[Pee Wee] I can smell pussy behind that door.

[Pee Wee] We're gonna get some action tonight.

[Pee Wee] You should've seen him hopping around like the Easter bunny.

[Phone Ringing]

[Porky] I don't think they'll be coming back.

[Porky] I want those little mothers arrested and I mean, like, right now.

[Porky] Set 'em up, bartender.

[Retching]

[Retching] No sir, Officer. Our friend is a diabetic.

[Revving]

[Ringing Continues]

[Running Footsteps]

[Scoffs] Oh, it is. It's gettin' shorter.

[Screaming Continues]

[Screaming, Growling]

[Screaming]

[Screaming] [Clattering, Glass Breaking]

[Screams]

[Screams]

[Screeching]

[Shouting, Chattering]

[Shouting, Whooping]

[Shouting, Whooping]

[Shouting]

[Shouting]

[Shouting]

[Shouting] [Crowd Cheering]

[Shouts] Shh!

[Shrieking, Laughing]

[Shrieks]

[Sighs]

[Singsong Voice] Oh, Porky, the boys from Angel Beach are here.

[Siren Blares]

[Siren Blaring]

[Siren Blaring] Go on back to your own damn town.

[Snickering Continues] That...

[Snickering]

[Snickers] If my wife left me, I'd get drunk for joy.

[Snorting]

[Snorting]

[Snorts]

[Squeaking]

[Squeaky Voice] It's a shit detector.

[Stops] ♪♪ [Continues]

[Tarzan Yell]

[Tarzan Yell]

[Tim] Get out of here.

[Tim] I don't like this one bit. I think we're being had.

[Tires Screech] [Glass Shatters]

[Tires Squeal]

[Tires Squealing]

[Tommy] I can't feel any door. [Tim] See, I knew it.

[Tommy] Thank you, Edward, for bringing Anthony some sugar.

[Trilling, lmitating Birdcall]

[Warren] All right, Cavanaugh, get with it.

[Warren] Okay, guys, hit the floor.

[Wendy] Pee Wee! You idiot!

[Wendy] You had your chance.

[Wheezing] I think he's got some broken ribs.

[Whispering] [Chuckling]

[Whispering] Wait a minute.

[Whispering] Yeah.

[Whistle Blows]

[Whistle Blows] Cavanaugh, you get wiped out by that kick every time.

[Whistles Blow]

[Whistles]

[Whistles] Hey, Meat.

[Whistling, Hooting]

[Woman On P.A.] Is Mike Hunt in the parking lot?

[Woman On P.A.] Telephone call for Mike Hunt.

[Woman Shouting]

[Woman Shouting]

[Woman] Edward, you'll be late to school.

[Woman] Hey, Tommy. Wait a minute.

[Woman]... never get one to fit me out of that machine.

♪♪ [Car Horn]

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Continues] [Buzzing Continues]

♪♪ [Continues] [Chattering]

♪♪ [Country Blues]

♪♪ [Country Blues]

♪♪ [Country On Radio]

♪♪ [Country Rock]

♪♪ [Ends]

♪♪ [Ends]

♪♪ [Ends]

♪♪ [Man Singing On Phonograph]

♪♪ [Man Singing On Radio]

♪♪ [Man Singing]

♪♪ [March] [Cheering, Shouting]

♪♪ [Marching Band]

♪♪ [Marching Band]

♪♪ [Morrison Singing]

♪♪ [Singing]

♪♪ [Waltz]

♪♪ [Woman Singing On Phonograph]

♪♪ [Woman Singing]