Porky's Revenge Edit

A little joke? She practically ****d me.

A little Porky. Somebody to bounce on my knee.

A lot, by the looks of it.

A nice, big bow tie.

A President of our United States.

A President of our United States.

A stag film.

Aah! Shit!

About not wearing clothes underneath our gowns...

About the film... Now you... you were perfectly right.

According to the law, I could shoot...

After we win the game...

Ah, I I beg your par...

Ah, looks like he's tryin' to take her temperature.

Ah!

Ah! Hurry.

All right, all right, all right.

All right, I started it. It's my fault. I feel terrible.

All right.

All right.

All right. Let's keep it down. Here he comes.

All right. You got it. Now get your ass back to work. Go on.

All we have to do is win that game.

All you gotta do, girl, is come down the aisle with him and give him away.

Always used to tell me, "never shit a shitter."

And announce that certain unscrupulous elements...

And as a result...

And former alumnus of Angel Beach High...

And go with that girl into the casino and take a few photos of the layout.

And he needs these pictures for his term paper.

And host the party for this year's senior prom.

And I don't want nobody fucking it up!

And I'm backing her up on that 100%!

And I'm gonna find you!

And if you do that, I'm the coach that got you there...

And it's only from my window...

And let the seniors know the good news.

And nobody fucks with heroes.

And now I think it's our turn let's help him out.

And our carefree days of frolic and frivolity..

And perhaps...

And so as we say farewell to our youth..

And steal an exam?

And teach us all your great culinary secrets...

And that he's gonna be!

And that's what my life is about.

And the service was extraordinary.

And the team will have to win without you.

And then we take them to the D.A.

And then we zapped her with a sick practical joke.

And then what do we do when we get there?

And they will forge our coming world.

And this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony.

And today...

And upon closer scrutiny,

And we're late for class.

And we're not talking about a milk and cookies party. We want an orgy.

And when we get to the podium, mooning the audience.

And win.

And you can be the impotent alcoholic monk...

Angel Beach Gators, 19.

Angel Beach hasn't been in the state finals in over 20 years.

Angel Beach wins!

Angel Beach! Angel Beach! Angel Beach!

Are going at it again in her apartment tonight.

Are ours.

Are you kiddin'? They're kicking our asses out there.

Are you okay?

Are you still talking? You think this is funny, right'? Huh?

Aren't you?

As soon as my parents leave.

Asshole!

At least I had something they wanted to see, Wendy.

At the m monastery.

Automobile salesmen...

Aw, come on, Coach. That's impossible! I know I passed!

Aw, shit. Those days are over.

Awful!

Back to the deep end.

Balbricker sent this reply to the post office box...

Balbricker. She's been there all morning.

Balbricker'?

Bastards! Damn bastards!

Beats the shit outta me.

Because the projectors are sort of tied up for the safety films.

Because you didn't get to be a cannoneer.

Before the principal performers disrobed...

Beulah!

Big boobs! Great broads.

Billy, I think you're probably better at this sort of thing.

Boy, she looks in pretty bad shape.

Brian's burning oil.

Bridge tender, you son of a bitch, wake up!

Bubbles.

Buddy, your motor's running. Why don't you save it for the orgy.

Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!

Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!

Business.

But I don't think the film can be fairly judged...

But I'm glad to see my son in law is a moxie guy...

But if she's in your family, I bet she has fleas.

But if we don't start crashing the boards in the second half...

But Snooky Kelton is the one she'd most like tumbling around with."

But we gotta get up early for basketball practice tomorrow.

But what about the Svlinken film?

But you can't control yourself, can you?

By the infamous... Sven.

Bye!

Can it, McCarty. You're not gonna pull the wool over my eyes again.

Cannoneer... I'm definitely a cannoneer.

Carrying the banner of decency...

Charming, attractive woman is a joy.

Chickened out. I knew it.

Close the door, pecker breath! The light's comin' in!

Coach Good enough.

Coach Good enough. Oh, Miss Webster. What can I do for you?

Coach, there's no way we can win without Meat.

Coach?

Come get it, fellas.

Come in.

Come on, big boy. Ride me! Yeah, come on. Ride me!

Come on, buddy. Leave it there, Meat. We're gonna walk in.

Come on, guys. Pick it up. There's too much gloom around here.

Come on, knock it off. will ya? Keep your hands off. Be a nice girl.

Come on, Porky! Sooie!

Come on, you guys. Quit stalling. Get out there and play.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on! Beg!

Come on. Come and get it.

Come on. Come on, big boy.

Come on. Come on, please? Not my pants.

Come on. Give me your hand, Meat. Come on.

Come to think of it, where the hell is he?

Come to your ladies, heroes.

Cut it out!

Cut offs.

Daddy!

Darling...

David Marwood...

Dearly beloved...

Decency demands that the culprit be thrown out of school.

Did you just meet 'em?

Did you see the girl in the fourth row? Beautiful. Blonde all over.

Disgusting, naked filth!

Distract her with what?

Do the words "state championship" mean anything to you?

Doesn't play in that basketball game.

Don't worry about it.

Don't you know it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride?

Down here to see you without... without a good reason?

Easy. Pee Wee's grandmother lives right across the street.

Easy. We shoot pictures of his illegal gambling casino...

Edward Morris, the last available substitute...

Edward Morris...

Especially the woman with the big ti... with the big ti...

Even if it means giving up all extracurricular activities.

Even... now, get this, Tupperello...

Every time you guys get a wild hair up your ass...

Everybody knows it's tonight.

Everybody's got something to do.

Except McCarty and Turner.

Fail your biology exam...

First, we all get undressed.

For a better world to live in.

For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer...

For last minute instructions.

Forget it. We blew it last time with your stupid camera.

From a foreign county with the great gazoombies?

Fuck you, fat man!

Gazoombies?

Gee.

Geez!

Get a shot of this, babe.

Get away from... Leave me alone, for God's sake.

Get his legs.

Get in there! Don't argue with me!

Get the hell out of here!

Get up here.

Give me my lights! Where's my lights?

Go ahead. Just reach down under your gown. Take 'em off.

Go into her old man's illegal casino to take pictures?

God, I feel awful.

Goddamn it.

Good game, Coach.

Good God! What's happening to this place?

Good luck.

Good morning, everybody. I'm so sorry I'm late.

Good night, Bob. Come on back again.

Gosh, I don't know. I'm I'm not much of a drinker.

Got a chain. Cat 0' nine tails.

Great galloping gobs of goat shit!

Great.

Grip.

Gus! Freddie! You up here? Where the hell are you when I need you?

Guys, enough, enough. We still got to find a way to get onto his boat.

Guys, I'm telling you, these two are hot.

Guys!

Gynecologists..

Ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha!

Halftime buzzer!

Has generously offered to donate his beautiful home...

Have a great time!

Have fun.

He can't swim.

He is gonna do it.

He must've. I mean, I heard the coach say he was there.

He represents the loneliness of the Hungarian peasants.

He was wrong, and he's sorry, aren't you?

He's a strange boy.

He's alive and living in Miami, and we can be there by this afternoon.

He's always hungry, Grandma.

He's gonna win the state championship for us. We need him.

He's not gonna come looking for us.

He's signing on board the H.M.S. Pignuts with me for an indefinite cruise.

Here comes your main attraction.

Here he is. Sam "Snooky" Kelton.

Here is your scalpel. Now cut.

Here, boy. Here, boy.

Here. You gotta forgive me for my temper, Meat.

Here's his teeth. You know, he was such a great eater.

Hey, Brian! Whoa!

Hey, could you excuse us a second, Grandma?

Hey, don't worry about a thing. That's already been taken care of.

Hey, get the troopers! Get the Marine Patrol! I got another suicide!

Hey, guys, what's he doin' to her now?

Hey, guys. Come here. Quick.

Hey, here's a picture of my mom in the drama club.

Hey, hold on. Pee Wee's telling us about his dream.

Hey, I don't do business with pussies. Drink up.

Hey, Meat! See you later.

Hey, Meat. Human brain.

Hey, Meat. What's the exam look like?

Hey, Meat. You okay?

Hey, wait a minute. Uh, look.

Hey, we don't want to be rude,

Hey, what's life all about?

Hey, where's Meat?

Hey, you guys! Wait'll you see what we got!

Hey, you know why you're pissed off? You're pissed off...

Hey, you little devil. You latched on to that Inga, huh?

Hey. Piggy! Bet you can't catch us!

Hi, baby. Blossom, you have a good time tonight, child?

Hi, guys.

Hi, guys. Uh, what's goin' on?

Hi.

Hi. Daddy!

Him? Him? He's gone.

Hold it, Meat.

Holy Moly!

Honey?

Horsemen and cannoneers.

How about old Balbricker in the raw...

How about some Benedictine?

How are you?

How come you left the monastery?

How do we get the shots?

How do you think I feel? I was in bed with her.

How long can we keep it?

How's that?

Howdy, Coach.

Huh? Come on! Not my pants!

Hurry! Hurry, please!

Hyah!

Hyah! Hyah!

I I don't have the money yet.

I I know. I got... carried away.

I ain't beggin'!

I almost forgot what a mean son of a bitch he is.

I already broke the bread for you.

I am ashamed at each and every one of you.

I am physically ill.

I am proud to give you our graduating class.

I assigned to Snooky Kelton.

I brought it in.

I can get the rest of the money in about a month or so.

I can! I... I have to!

I can't believe they're gonna go through with it.

I can't find the dang test anywhere.

I can't give up playing. We're going to the state championship.

I can't wait to share this recipe with my mother.

I can't.

I could be the Southern bartender.

I couldn't believe it.

I didn't even know where the basket was. I swear.

I didn't know. I'm not in your class.

I discovered that Mr. Tupperello has passed his biology exam.

I don't believe it. Four years of practice.

I don't get it.

I don't mean that as an insult, Meat.

I don't, huh?

I got a bundle riding on this game tonight. You understand me?

I got it covered.

I gotta go stick my neck out, you know?

I guess because I always wondered what it would be like to...

I guess he hasn't fixed it up since our last visit.

I had to leave when they started singing "Mack the Knife."

I have to. I have to be with him.

I hope we can call on her again.

I hope you bet on Angel Beach.

I hope you don't get scared.

I hope you don't get scared.

I know they're bigger and stronger...

I know you're out there, you little bastards...

I know. That's what they tell me...

I like a man who plays hard to get.

I love America. Ja, ja, ja.

I love this!

I mean, I really want to thank you guys for saving me from the old ball and chain.

I mean, it wasn't bad enough we're running around the pool bare assed...

I mean, we knew we were risking our lives. At least give us a chance to talk to you.

I named the time and the place.

I never want to see you again. Freak! Out! Out!

I promised I'd take Sharon and the kids.

I proudly give you...

I put on this monkey suit, and now I gotta walk there.

I sat through every disgusting frame of this film...

I thought I told you to get out!

I told Billy. He said that he was gonna leave the photographs.

I want that bastard married to her.

I was talking about basketball!

I win the state championships, I bring the car here...

I wish I had a grandmother just like you.

I'd have a better time if my Meat was playing.

I'll do anything, as long as I can play basketball.

I'll even rent a better camera with some telephoto lenses.

I'll give you your own private...

I'll I'll talk to Porky.

I'll schedule the film just as soon as we stop running those personal hygiene films.

I'm comin' after you, you bastards!

I'm gonna break his fuckin' finger off.

I'm gonna come down the aisle, and I'm gonna give Meat away.

I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna chew up your asses!

I'm gonna make sure that that Anthony Tupperello

I'm gonna start hanging out with myself.

I'm gonna... Get off!

I'm looking through this keyhole. I have this incredible view, right?

I'm naked, treading water in a pool.

I'm the cannoneer. What are you guys gonna do, leave me here or what?

I've got you now, you freak!

If Meat doesn't pass that biology exam...

If we don't do something about these, we'll both be out.

If we get caught, we could get sent to jail.

If we got old Bubbles and Snooky back together again.

If you let us use your grandmother's apartment...

If you really want to help us...

Impatiently yours, Bubbles."

In a motel room waiting for her true love?

In pieces.

In sickness and in health till death...

In the Roman army, there were gladiators, slaves...

Including "Mack the Knife."

Including me. Especially the part about winning games.

Inga Johansson, Edward Morris.

Inga! Do you have clothes underneath your gown?

Intelligence...

Interior decorators...

Introducing the Angel Beach Gators!

Is that Porky's daughter?

Isn't that what they drink at the monastery?

It is the worst piece of pornographic trash that I have ever seen.

It may look like we're dressed, but in fact...

It means a lot to me. Uh...

It was just a little joke.

It was the most humiliating experience of my life.

It's a sin. I'd feel terribly ashamed.

It's amazing what my fertile mind can come up with.

It's amazing what my fertile mind can come up with.

It's been so long since I've felt your...

It's for the state championship.

It's fury, and it's got balls this big.

It's incredible! I can't believe it!

It's more like a wienerette.

It's not every day that my Blossom gets married...

It's not kidnapping when he's gonna be my son in law, girl!

It's not supposed to work like this.

It's Pee Wee.

It's raunchy, degrading, beneath the human dignity.

It's really garbage, man.

Ja, ja.

Ja, ja. A movie.

Jennifer Grant, Inga Johansson...

Jonathon Martin...

Just be happy you're in the game at all.

Keep clean, Billy. Yes.

Kill the little fuckers!

Kimberly... Oh, Jesus. Kimberly Ann... Bah!

Lady, please don't jump!

Lady, please. I gotta open the bridge.

Last one in is the last one in.

Last one in is the last one in.

Lenny!

Let's get him some air. Over here.

Let's go into my bar. Maybe we can talk some business.

Let's go.

Let's just get there.

Let's just hurry up, get the test, get the hell out of here. Okay, guys?

Let's see what old Snooky looks like.

Listen, if it's that important, I mean...

Living. It's definitely about living.

Locker room.

Locker room. Coach?

Long as we want. He says we're sexually ignorant.

Look familiar, guys?

Look, I don't exactly have all the money right now.

Look, I mean, we at least got the coach out of trouble, right, guys?

Look, if we hold a press conference...

Look, uh, do you think we could go ashore and talk?

Look. "Beulah Balbricker."

Look. I'll take the photographs this time.

Look. She's meeting me in a motel room. I can't believe it.

Looks like Goose is airing out his Chevy again. We'd better walk.

Love, honesty...

Man, all I want now is a young grandchild.

Max Clooney, Jefrey Jay Numan...

Maybe it's 'cause your cheers are crummy. Why don't you get new ones?

Maybe it's in her apartment.

Maybe we can watch her give her cat a flea bath.

Maybe you'd better explain to them what will happen if the culprit...

Meat, if you remember,

Meat! Keep scoring!

Meat. Meat Tupperello. He's my boyfriend.

Meat'?

Meat's right. Pee Wee, you go. You're the short subject.

Miss Webster is one of the finest...

Miss Webster's recommended that you not be allowed to play basketball...

Mitzi DeBella...

Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

Most dedicated teachers in this school.

Move your ass! Don't get in the way of a high roller!

Mr. Carter, art is a very subjective phenomenon.

Mr. Carter, I will not stand here and be accused of having a boner.

Mr. Carter! Mr. Carter, I demand to know...

Mr. Johnson, sure am glad you won all that money tonight.

Mr. Kelton, an old friend...

Mr. Meat Tupperello will be at no graduation!

Mr. Tupperello, you haven't made your dorsal incision.

My cousin at Southern Methodist sent it to me.

My dearest...

My friend, there comes a time in every man's life...

My grandmother doesn't have a cat.

My husband, Fat Harry... may he rest in peace...

My mom's gonna kill me when she finds out.

Need? I don't need him throwing frogs down my blouse.

Neither are we.

Never say you're too busy to visit your grandmother.

No way. If they're making a movie, I gotta be the main attraction.

No, Grandma. We've been friends for a long time.

No, I can't. It's a sin.

No, no! Please... Please don't.

No, not a word.

No, the only way you'll go blind is by lookin' at it like that.

No! No way, Brian!

No. Don't take flowers and candy. Show up like a man.

No. No, I left them right on Miss Webster's desk.

Nobody'll be able to touch us.

Not as far as I'm concerned.

Not at my wedding. I want happiness.

Not my pants!

Not you. Go on! Go!

Now I have no choice but to...

Now I know how she affords this apartment.

Now taking the floor, the Harmon Hornets!

Now, eat your soup.

Now, I want you to go out there...

Now, I want you to tell those double crossin', rat faced basketball pricks...

Now, look. You's the one that come in to Porky's.

Now, what is this bullshit about the state championship, boy?

Now, what the hell you think you're gettin' married for, boy?

Now, you'll line up like good little Roman soldiers.

Number four, Edward Morris...

Of good, clean, American youth.

Oh, candy! It tastes so good!

Oh, come on, Harold. Don't be such a tight ass.

Oh, come on, man.

Oh, come on. Porky ain't gonna let us anywhere near his place.

Oh, Edward, where did you ever find these slick boys?

Oh, God.

Oh, goody!

Oh, he's not gonna do it.

Oh, I see. Come on. Drive.

Oh, I'm glad you guys liked it. You love running around naked with your friends?

Oh, I'm sure he'll think of something.

Oh, Inga!

Oh, look at the nice people. Isn't she pretty? Huh?

Oh, my God. Give me strength.

Oh, no, no, no. You're not late at all, Miss Balbricker.

Oh, no!

Oh, oh, Billy, when can I view the Svlinken film?

Oh, sheesh!

Oh, shit! It was luck I tell ya. It was just luck.

Oh, that's Inga. She's the Swedish foreign exchange student.

Oh, that's very interesting.

Oh, this must be our lucky day.

Oh, we're not gonna get laid.

Oh, yeah? Then how come you guys are wearing clothes underneath your gowns?

Oh, yeah? What'll we do when we get there?

Oh, yeah? When they saw it, I got a standing ovation.

Oh, yes. Uh, yes. Good idea. Uh, go back to your classes.

Oh, you didn't think I fell for that practical joke of yours, did you?

Oh!

Oh! Oh! Flowers.

Oh. Oh, yes. This is awful.

Oh. yeah!

Okay

Okay

Okay, boys. What the hell you doing here?

Okay, he's a dumb son of a bitch.

Okay, so by the time lnga's getting her diploma...

Okay, soldiers. Get it off!

Okay, you big dip! See you out in the ocean!

Okay, you guys. quit stalling. Who's gonna be first?

Okay! Angel Beach, strong and Hardy!

Okay. If you win, you got it.

Okay. Spread out.

Okay. Who wants to get dressed first?

On the rocks.

On the... On the rocks.

Once you find it, be...

Ooh!

Open the fuckin' bridge!

Open the goddamn bridge!

Open! Oh, God!

Orgy time!

Our graduating class.

Our physicists, judges...

Pat Rosen...

Pay attention. Follow the rules.

Pee Wee says Dobish and Miss Webster

Pee Wee, you got a great grandma. Isn't she great?

Pee Wee! Pee Wee!

Pee Wee.

Pee Wee...

Pee Wee's gonna love that.

Personal collection of photographs of Dobish and Miss Webster...

Please feel free to use him.

Please? Oh!

Porky, do you really think we came all this way...

Porky's? What are we going to Porky's for?

Proving that this young man has ice water running in his veins."

Quit stallin'. You guys got a game to win.

Really is a dumb son of a bitch.

Remember who was smart enough to wear a disguise.

Replacing Crutcher for Angel Beach.

Reporting to the scorer's bench.

Right! We're not gonna get laid!

Right.

Robin Gallup...

Roman soldiers in the deep end.

Roman women give in, in, in.

S Sure. You're the boss.

Sam, you drink that damn stuff faster than they can make it.

Say anything you want. Just take the pictures, huh?

Says, uh,"debating team, arts and crafts and wrestling."

Search the drawers shelves, everywhere.

See if you can squeeze your fat ass underneath this bridge!

Sex therapists...

Shall we?

She said she was gonna leave me out there on the highway...

She wanted me to cut the thing open. She hates me.

She wants you to get the best education possible. If that's possible.

She wrote: "Dear Snooky."

She's gonna show up?

She's here! Shit!

Shh!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit. Shit!

Shoot.

Smile. This is a pleasure boat.

Snooky, I'd like you to meet Edward Morris.

Snooky.

So it's really a drag, man. We come all the way down here...

So should you decide that his participation...

So simple, a child could use 'em.

So the coach is off the hook, and now it's our asses, right?

So what time do I tell her to expect us?

So when are we gonna do it?

So, uh, when is this orgy supposed to begin?

Somethin' to be proud of. Carry on the family name.

Son of a bitch got a boat.

Sons of bitches. Those dirty, little rat fucking bastards!

Soo! Soo! Sooie!

Sooie!

Sooie! Soo! Soo! Sooie!

Sorry. We gotta have dinner with the Franklins.

Sound your horn!

Stay in formation.

Stop!

Svlinken, the Swedish director. Remember?

Take a look at these.

Teach him how to hustle, beat people, go fishin', break heads, kick ass.

Tell me again about that boy at the window with the camera.

Tell us about it later. Let's get outta here.

Thank you both so much. It It's really gonna mean a lot to everybody.

Thank you, boys. Thank you.

Thank you, Daddy.

Thanks for the tip.

That he should get such pictures?

That just escaped from the monastery.

That Porky finally got his revenge!

That the captain of a basketball team...

That was Miss Webster. You failed your biology exam.

That's disgusting! Hey, you're blockin' my view.

That's funny, buddy. Yeah, Grandma's funny.

That's great.

That's my favorite!

That's not one of the designated areas.

That's the girl in my dream!

That's too bad.

That's what the Roman women did for the gladiators after a big battle.

That's what we were talking about, wasn't it? Uh...

The aspirations of a striving people...

The ball landed in my hands. I just threw it so those Harmon guys wouldn't kill me.

The biggest gazoombie I ever saw. This girl was practically deformed.

The coach is a good guy. He's helped us out a lot of times...

The future is with us today.

The girl must recognize that I'm in my prime.

The hopes, the dreams...

The lights!

The Moonbeam Motel, right about now.

The score is tied. The game is tied at 70.

The score of this game is gonna wind up in the Guinness Book of Embarrassing Records.

The score: the Harmon Hornets, 39;

The teams are returning to the dressing rooms...

Their bright, shining faces...

Then Carter steps on my gown, and the whole graduating class is looking at my wiener.

Then I'll take off everything and make you beg.

Then what happened?

There was a tender moment with Connie's parents.

There you are, you candy asses!

There's a hooker, and she...

There's Balbricker.

There's this man in black socks and a mask.

These pupils don't deserve to graduate.

These young people will Sally forth for us...

They all had boners!

They called Balbricker "Bubbles"?

They double crossed me again. Now someone's gonna pay for this shit!

They just wanted to say hello. They're not gonna stay very long.

They say you can go blind from lookin' at stuff like that.

They sure dressed funny then, didn't they?

They threw a victory orgy.

They were standing to get a better look.

They will be our governors, our lawyers, our surgeons..

They will be our hairdressers...

They'd need magnifying glasses to see your wiener.

They're on the way to the state championship.

They're retarded.

They're sick. They're perverted.

Think about this, Tommy.

Think about this.

This ain't funny, man. There's somebody downstairs.

This has got more beaver in it than the entire state of Wisconsin.

This is kind of complicated business.

This is private property.

This is pure filth. Pornographic filth.

This is so simple.

This is the most important day of my life, you understand?

This says she's gonna meet you in the Moonbeam Motel, room 48?

This water's cold.

To be in the company of such a gracious...

To see a woman's breasts.

To...

Today we celebrate their beginnings

Told you it's not the size of the dog; it's how hard he bites.

Tommy Turner.

Tommy, why don't you explain what we mean...

Tommy, you're not gonna believe this. It's great Pee Wee.

Tonight you have the chance to be champions.

Touch me, big boy.

Tsk. Your old man got a tux?

Tuxe... Oh, yeah. Why?

Twenty seven seconds left to decide who goes to the state championship.

Twice.

Uh huh.

Uh huh. No, thank you, sir. I don't drink.

Uh oh.

Uh uh.

Uh, Edward, have you met our exchange student, Inga?

Uh, he means, it's true... there is some nudity.

Uh, how do we, uh... How do we, uh, get outta here?

Uh, I'll have to check the schedule...

Uh, Miss Balbricker, if I may be so bold, that's your characterization.

Uh, Mr. Carter...

Uh, this particular film was, uh, directed...

Uh, w w wait a minute. She's gonna let me...

Uh, when, uh... When can we arrange a screening?

Uh, you came back a little late. You missed a wonderful party.

Uh, you see, he's studying photography...

Uh...

Uh...

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

Undertakers...

Unless I promised to show her why they call me Meat.

Unless you get a passing grade on her biology exam.

Us?

Use your balls and win, win, win!

Very funny man.

Wanted us to throw that game...

We are gathered here today to join this man...

We are going out into a larger world...

We believe in Mom, apple pie and the American flag, right?

We built up her hopes to see somebody she's been crazy about all these years...

We can kiss the state championship good bye.

We celebrate their beginnings.

We decided you were right! Put it in the basket! fight, fight, fight!

We didn't have a written invitation the last time we called.

We finally get to the state championship, and we've got to lose.

We got to get dressed and get out of here.

We gotta get him. We gotta get that fat son of a bitch.

We just hit pay dirt.

We might be able to get some photographs of them. Perfect blackmail material.

We thought we'd come back early to join the...

We told Porky we'd throw the game, right?

We went all the way.

We'll all be near the podium, and that's when we do it.

We'll be a shining example...

We'll be right back.

We're all gonna flash when we get to the podium.

We're gonna break in to Miss Webster's apartment...

We're gonna get laid!

We're gonna get laid!

We're gonna get laid! We're gonna get laid!

We've got something important to do. Pick me up.

We've got something you'll all want to see.

Welcome to the state championship game.

Well, Billy, you'll finally get to see your girl naked.

Well, girls, how about that orgy, huh?

Well, how come you never told me about 'em?

Well, I agree with that, but we go to Porky's...

Well, I am the President of the Audiovisual Club.

Well, I guess we gotta be going.

Well, I I've been busy.

Well, I, uh, guess I'd better be going now...

Well, I'm glad to see you back, boys...

Well, if it's such an important event, why aren't we going?

Well, if it's tits you want...

Well, Jesus, Pee Wee, if you're not in there, who the hell is?

Well, ladies, let's go.

Well, Meat, we're naked in a pool. Would you please go get our clothes?

Well, Meat's doing pretty great up there.

Well, there's nothin' we can do about it now.

Well, turns out we didn't need those photographs of Miss Webster after all.

Well, Wendy, I gotta hand it to you. You really did it this time.

Well, what's going on?

Well, when Porky comes looking for you guys,