Vacation 2015 (2015) Edit

A Actually, Audrey said

A cowboy with a huge six pack

A musician without his instrument

A stream of consciousness travel log, so...

A what?!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Dad!

Aah! Ow! Aah!

Aah! Whoa!

About the whole Debbie do anything thing?

Absolutely.

Actually the same volume.

Actually, just got engaged two weeks ago,

Actually, the minerals that are in this mud here,

Adena?

Adventure is one way to put it.

Ah, crap!

Ah.

Ah. Yeah.

All aboard.

All full. You're gonna have to wait for the next one.

All I wanted to do was take my fuckin' family

All right, boobs, pitcher! Let's go.

All right, boys. This is you.

All right, everyone.

All right, I'll tell you what.

All right, I'm gonna ask him if there's any police up ahead.

All right, let's get serious for a second.

All right, let's see, who do we got here?

All right, well, if it's just an idea,

All right.

All right.

All right. Not a best case scenario.

All right. Perfect. Thank you.

All right. We can handle this.

All right. Well, good for him.

All right. Well, that's fair. What do you wanna know?

All that's left is the muffin.

All you gotta do is follow my instructions out there.

All your pictures were so great.

An accountant friend of mine.

And a four stroke Briggs & Stratton engine.

And a wife who's miserable.

And cryin' about the state of this country.

And desecrate this holy place every night.

And everything.

And fly off to the Pyramids of Zambezi

And he plays guitar? Dream boy!

And he was racist.

And I am gonna click like on every single one of them.

And I am so sorry that I lost my ring,

And I didn't appreciate that.

And I ran it.

And I take my family on the Velociraptor.

And I turn them down.

And I want to go on exotic trips and...

And I'm sure that there will be lots of other differences.

And if I could, I'd spend every single day with you.

And in my book... That makes him a hero.

And it's gonna sound crazy, but hear me out, okay?

And just really, like, free with my body,

And ride the fucking velociraptor!

And she wouldn't have done any of those things.

And somebody stole all of our stuff while we were distracted.

And that ain't right, okay? Bitches?

And that is a week in Paris.

And that's all I want for my family.

And that's just not who I am anymore.

And that's when the muffin made the car explode.

And the lost gardens of wherever the fuck!

And then you have to get through the course as fast as you can.

And then, when we get back, I can maybe get a part time job?

And then... um...

And this bad boy is going to be

And this is amazing.

And wanted us to be close.

And we got a 50 50 chance of coming back alive.

And we'd talk about all those, like,

And what about my guitar?

And why are we naked and covered in feces?

And why is it a rabbit?!

And you and I would sit there

And you deserve to be treated like one.

And you did this? 'Cause you hardly drink.

And you don't have a great time, baby,

And you have never stopped trying.

And you were in that plastic bag.

And you'll stay with them.

And, Dad, no offense,

And, guess what, the river's running way high,

And, uh, have yourselves a good night.

And... and I I m must've just dropped it somewhere.

And... plug in.

Any other questions?

Anyway, I'm Chad. I'm gonna be your guide.

Anyway, you guys look disgusting.

Are getting a little hot right now.

Are lighting that same yankee candle...

Are really stretched out in the crotch, though.

Are there helmets?

Are those mushrooms?!

Are we gonna do this?

Are we gonna drive all that way in your little car, Dad?

Are we gonna... I don't want it in my mouth.

Are you a rapist? Kevin, no!

Are you crazy?!

Are you sure that you'll be okay?

Are you, like, stalking me or something?

As far as I'm concerned,

At Chicago's midway very shortly.

At least the kids never woke up.

At least you know

Aw. Not again.

Aww. Honey.

Babe, baby, I I think Rusty's right.

Back when you were just getting your pilot's license

Barely.

Batman forever?

Because at Econo air, we're working hard

Because I don't wanna be away

Because I've always had a thing for...

Because of Stone.

Because of who?

Because our luggage and all of our stuff

Been doin' it for years.

Been doing this about three and a half years.

Before we got here, you took off your wedding ring?

Before we hit the water.

Before we run out.

Before you black out.

Bet she didn't even come up with the Chug run.

Boy, y'all stink.

Boys, when your father makes you a promise,

Breaker 1 9 to rubber ducky.

Breaker 1 9,

Bring it, bitch.

But at least I did something. Yeah, it sounds like you did a lot.

But I can tell you right... Where's your wedding ring?

But I couldn't help noticing

But I married you, Rusty.

But I think I'll be okay.

But I think that's part of it.

But I was... You were what?

But I would never, ever, ever take it off on purpose.

But if anyone tries to shove you in their car,

But it didn't really matter

But it was given to him by Jimmy Hendricks.

But it wasn't. Right?

But it'd be a lot more embarrassing

But j just like that?!

But that doesn't mean I don't admire you.

But that's a very special guitar.

But there's nobody there.

But Tyler here has been beggin' us

But we have sex every week with our bodies.

But why would you?

But you can get back home, you can get back down

But you can't give up, Russ.

But you know what?

But you know who thinks outside the box?

But you know, I I I reckon

But, hey. He left your book.

But, y you have to admit I I feel like we've gotten...

But... Oh!

By locking us in a car for a week.

By the guy with the rat on his shoulder.

Bye.

Ca...

Can I give you a rim job?

Can I hear it in a sentence?

Can I slam it on James' balls?

Can you please just admit that this was a mistake?

Can you please stay the fuck away from us?!

Cannibalism? Yeah.

Check the best route.

Chicago?

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug

Come on, guys, everybody sing it with me.

Come on, guys.

Come on, guys.

Come on, honey, every boy that age

Come on, honey.

Come on, let's go!

Come on, man. What are you doing?

Come on, muffin.

Come on, sugar Ray. Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

Come on, that was so long ago.

Come on.

Come on. I was just foolin' around.

Come on. It'll be fine. I just activated it.

Come on. Let's have some fun.

Come on. Race you to the ride.

Come on. That's not important.

Come on. We're sparring. We do this all the time.

Copy that, good buddy. Over.

Could I, uh, take the Nissan?

Cup holder?

Cute boy like that? Somebody's gonna snatch you up.

D Did you just steal my son's nickname?

D I L L O N.

D... I don't have a vagina!

D... what are you doing? Aah! Aah! Aah!

Dad got scammed by a guy at a park.

Dad hit a cow, okay? Let's just moo ve on.

Dad to the rescue!

Dad, are we stuck?

Dad, I don't think any of us really care about Walley World.

Dad, isn't that...

Dad, why would you do that?

Dad?

Dang it.

Deb?

Debbie do anything?

Debbie.

Decided to wake up from his siesta.

Did you really burn down the taco bell?

Did you say Tartan, honey? Yeah.

Did you see how I scratched that girl's arm?

Didn't like my man kissin' on me.

Didn't like that. Didn't like my children.

Dingus.

Do not say that we can handle this, Russ.

Do not stay here!

Do you like school this year?

Do you remember,

Do you think I can be a pilot when I grow up?

Do you want me to put a finger in?

Doesn't leave you with a lot of options.

Doesn't look like much,

Doesn't matter.

Doesn't mean he's not good looking.

Don't do that! I could have died.

Don't say weird shit! Ow!

Don't you kill him! Dad!

Don't you think that's gonna be kind of a letdown?

Don't you... don't you think we should get back on the road?

Drinkin' bourbon together

Even if you were completely blank down there.

Even the strongest faucet sometimes lets out a few drops.

Every time we take a bath.

Everybody okay? Oh, shit!

Everybody sing it with me.

Everyone down on the ground! Get down!

Excuse me, sir.

Excuse us.

Fifth time today on this one.

Fine!

Fine. I'm sorry.

First car, all right!

First off... Do any of you know this river?

Focus on the balls.

Fond of when little boys' mouths get goin' in any way.

For goin' to bat for me last week.

For months before she slept with me.

For one thing, the original vacation had a boy and a girl.

For Stone Crandall's accuweather report.

For the boys to learn to get along a little better.

For the kids to see where you went to college.

For their family like you have?

For trying to bring my family closer together, right?

Forget this whole, stupid trip.

From the moment we left for this trip,

Fuck me!

Fuck me.

Fuck the yankee candle. I wanna do this now.

Fun?

G Man, G Man, G Man, G Man, G Man. Uh oh. Uh oh.

G Man, get over here.

G Man! Get outta here.

Gary and I spent

Geez!

Gender fluidity, right?

Get down on the ground!

Get in line.

Get in there. Blblblblbl!

Get in there. Get in there. Get in there.

Get in there. What? Oh, I didn't...

Go on over there!

Go play.

Go to sleep! Go to sleep!

Go, Dad! Dad! Dad! Go! Go!

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go! Get up! Get up! Get up! Let's go!

Go! Go! Go!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

God damn it! Oh, my God!

God, I'm tellin' you, Russ,

God.

God. You told Mom and Dad?

Goddamn it.

Goddamn it. Kevin!

Gold coins come out of your butt.

Good night, Grandma and Grandpa.

Good to see ya.

Good, 'cause I'm gonna beat the shit out of your ass.

Got it.

Gotcha. Big brothers suck.

Governor Perry said

Grab the wheel! Grab the wheel!

Great. Thank you, Audrey.

Gross.

Guys, I have exciting news.

Guys! Come here! Bring over the book!

Guys? No?

Ha.

Had already been stolen

Handbrake turn. What?

Hands up!

Hang on!

Harry, you mind takin' over while I hit the Lav?

Harry! You took us up to 60,000 feet!

Has a stack of diaries.

He doesn't save anybody's life.

He had a rat on his shoulder,

He just came from the cockpit.

He keeps it.

He replied! I know!

He saved 2,000 lives.

He seems nice.

He still didn't answer me.

He took my guitar.

He totally just came in here

He was trying to be my Wingman.

He's a really shitty Wingman.

He's a really shitty Wingman.

He's always picking on me. I know he is.

He's come back to kill us.

He's even named them.

He's not exactly a celebrity.

He's savin' lives by not crashin'.

He's workin' me over.

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help.

Here it is.

Here ya go, boy.

Here ya go. That'll do for now.

Here. Oh, that's it.

Hey, boo.

Hey, come on, let's go inside.

Hey, come on.

Hey, Dad, what's a pedophile?

Hey, Dad, what's so special about Walley World?

Hey, Dad.

Hey, everyone thought that F 4 twister

Hey, gang. Uh, maybe for lunch, we could find a burger place.

Hey, guys. You mind if we join you?

Hey, honey. What's all that?

Hey, James, don't get your gender fluid on me.

Hey, Kevin. Get off your brother, please.

Hey, madam. How much capellini are you throwing away?

Hey, mornin'!

Hey, ooh, look at you guys.

Hey, Russ, can we talk?

Hey, there's no reason for that language.

Hey, watch it, man!

Hey, we can do this

Hey, we were wondering.

Hey, what happened with that perv

Hey, what happened with that perv

Hey, what's your pet rat's name?

Hey, you know, you never told us

Hey!

Hey! Language! Well, it is!

Hey! Oh, my goodness. Hi!

Hey. Excuse me.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hi.

Hey. We call that turbulence, all right?

Hi, Dad.

Hi, folks!

Hi, y'all!

Hi!

Hi!

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Would you like to donate to assburgers?

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hmm? No.

Hmm? No. Much better.

Hmm.

Hmm. All right, guys, it's gettin' late.

Hmm. Is that R I M?

Hold on.

Holy moly.

Home, I guess.

Honestly, even if you go there

Honestly, honey, it really... I promise.

Honey, are you sure about this?

Honey, GPS check?

Honey, I'm not doing that.

Honey, it doesn't matter.

Honey, it's perfect.

Honey. Hmm?

Hope you guys like Smokin'! Right?

Hope you've enjoyed your 18 minute flight

Hot damn! It's a Go Kart.

Hot damn. Debbie Griswold.

Hot Springs up ahead. We've always wanted to do that.

How 'bout Paris?

How 'bout some tunes?

How about this, then? Huh? Huh?

How come that local guy didn't tell us

How come you didn't follow me just then?

How come you didn't like any of 'em.

How come you gotta do this at 6 A.M.?

How did you get free tickets to Paris?

How do you like your lips getting tickled?

How many guys did you sleep with before me? Oh, no no no no no.

How many men would sacrifice their careers

How much you think they paid for this house?

How often do we get to soak in hot water?

How was your trip?

How would we even call them?

How's Audrey?

How's he gonna think that I'm single

How's that for Gettin' free with our bodies,

Huh?

Huh? All right.

Huh? Oh, God.

I am gonna go upstairs online,

I bet he'd know.

I can always use an extra set of hands.

I can control the entire car from the fob.

I can feel my body detoxifying.

I can't tell ya how many nights we spent

I can't tell you how much it's meant to me

I cannot believe that they are still doing this.

I cannot believe what I'm hearing.

I did come up with the Chug run, all right?

I didn't mean it like that.

I didn't mind it one bit.

I didn't need a Wingman.

I do! I do!

I do.

I don't know about this, Russ.

I don't know him.

I don't know how I could ever thank you.

I don't know how! I'll hit the muffin again!

I don't know where you're going with this,

I don't know why you want to go back to Walley World

I don't know, Dad.

I don't know, Kevin. Just go back inside the thing.

I don't know! I don't know!

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I'm sorry.

I don't know. It was your plan.

I don't remember.

I don't see why not.

I don't wanna be a part of this.

I don't wanna die!

I don't... I don't know what that is.

I don't... Not to imply that you are...

I feel like your cousin Eddie's family.

I freaked out. I'm sorry.

I get offers from international carriers all the time,

I give up!

I guess I just didn't get around

I guess I'm the asshole

I had a feelin' that that low pressure system

I had a feeling she was all hype.

I have an idea. What?

I have everything I've ever wanted.

I have to piss. Me, too.

I heard that you fucked Anthony Hopkins.

I heard that you stuck a finger in the Dean's dick.

I heard that, if people bop you on your head,

I hit the Fuckin' jackpot with you.

I I can't. I can't... I can't get it off.

I I I I feel like a loser.

I I I promise you, the second you guys leave,

I I I'm gonna go take a shower.

I I love you! You love me!

I I'm getting a call from my fiancée here.

I I'm not suggesting

I I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I just think maybe I did.

I just wanted to see how long you could hold your breath

I just wish Audrey had found a more solid marriage

I just...

I knew we had some problems.

I know I didn't.

I know it's not the most glamorous airline,

I know you don't have a vagina. I'm not doing that.

I know, right?

I know.

I know. I know.

I know. I know.

I know. I like that one so much.

I know. It is.

I know. It's so hot, right?

I know. Right? Bonjour.

I like that. Yeah.

I liked workin', baby.

I love him.

I love this song!

I love you more than anything in the world.

I love... get over here. Get over here, man.

I may have something for you.

I mean, he's a local weatherman. That's all.

I mean, I've put you through some serious shit.

I mean, isn't it time that we just cut our losses?

I mean, nobody else is going this way.

I mean, they always say it's not the destination,

I mean, we almost died back there.

I mean, we have plenty of theme parks at home.

I mean, you're the one who said we should mix it up.

I never took the uniform off except when I did.

I pull the wheel to the left, yank the handbrake,

I really liked hearing you play.

I think I know my wife pretty well,

I think it is so weird.

I think so.

I think we should, uh, steer clear of that.

I think you coil it.

I think you just coil it like that.

I thought maybe we could kiss or something?

I thought you said he was your big brother.

I understand. I understand.

I used my connections as a pilot.

I wanna have all your babies.

I wanna know all about you.

I wanna thank you for goin' to bat for me last week.

I wanna thank you for goin' to bat for me last week.

I wanted to change the routine,

I was a Tri Pi a long time ago, so...

I was completely immature and acting out

I was crazy to think I could make us closer

I was gonna fly for one of the big guys.

I was happy to do it.

I was in my fucking room.

I was wondering if you still wanted it.

I was wondering when you were gonna give that back to me.

I was, like, crazy back then.

I will. All right. Attaboy.

I would've shot you right off that fuckin' horse.

I, uh I didn't mean to scare you.

I... damn it!

I... oh. Oh, my God!

I... um... A good person.

I'd be excited. Well, what is it? What is it?

I'd like to explore the real America,

I'll catch the next one.

I'll get you a new guitar. Okay?

I'll just...

I'll rip you in half.

I'll take that all in, dude!

I'm a man, aren't I?

I'm Adena.

I'm an idiot!

I'm an idiot. Do it again.

I'm coming back alive! I don't wanna die!

I'm fine.

I'm gonna ask this gentleman.

I'm gonna get you all geared up.

I'm gonna lock the shit out of that door.

I'm gonna pound the shit out of you.

I'm here to answer any questions

I'm judging me.

I'm just a stranger, passin' through town.

I'm just messing!

I'm just saying that even if you did,

I'm kidding, guys.

I'm kidding. Relax.

I'm not afraid of you!

I'm not gender fluid.

I'm not gonna do the swastika.

I'm not gonna stand here like a little bitch.

I'm pretty sure Debbie do anything would do it.

I'm really happy for your sister.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, guys.

I'm sorry, man.

I'm sure we will find a place to fill up around here

I'm sure you'll find a better husband and father.

I'm the one who's cooperating!

I'mma tap you right on the forehead.

I've got my sights set

I've never even heard of the original vacation.

I've only been thinking about myself, you know?

If anything, you're more qualified than us younger guys.

If I'm here with my husband and my two children?

If it just... No, it doesn't. It's... Yeah.

If Vin Diesel can do it, so can I.

If we have to.

If y'all are here to have sex on the corners, we're next.

If you found yourself Tummy to Tummy

If you guys need anything, Mom and I are right next door.

If you guys wanna borrow some of those.

If you guys wanna stop, that'd be good, too.

If you just follow that all the way up,

In Cheboygan, Michigan. Wow.

In fact, the Chug run was my idea.

In four states at the same time.

In what?

In your bathing suits. Now!

Is a crime in the state of Utah?

Is as bad as a shoemaker without a toilet seat.

Is it okay if I take a soak?

Is it supposed to stay upside down like this?

Is it this bad?

Is it true that you climbed the clock tower naked?

Is my pet what?

Is our marriage dying?

Is sittin' right next to you.

Is that my ring?

Is that our car alarm?

Is that these Fuckin' bitches are disrespecting me,

Is there another entrance to the hot Springs?

Is this a man or a woman singing?

Is this Charlton Heston?

Is this your first time on a plane?

Is to move back and forth along the edge of the herd.

Isn't this the best?

It couldn't be as bad as that stupid cabin, right, honey?

It doesn't make it true.

It doesn't matter if you are.

It got stolen.

It has six ashtrays.

It just...

It just... Huh.

It like when you touch it, okay?

It looks like somebody blew their head off in there.

It makes me sick how you deviants show up

It makes no difference to me.

It might be nice

It really is dope as fuck.

It sure is.

It was given to me by Bob Dillon.

It was not my pl... Okay.

It was on my way.

It was right at the end of this road, so...

It was?

It wouldn't be okay for Kevin to tease you about your vagina.

It... It's ruined.

It's a ball of pubic hair.

It's a teachable Moment, hon.

It's all right.

It's around... It's around 30.

It's Debbie fucking Fletcher.

It's exactly what we needed.

It's for assburgers.

It's gone. It's gone.

It's got a Zanardi chassis

It's just an idea. That's all I'm saying.

It's more complicated than an Airbus A318.

It's nice.

It's no big deal.

It's not a fluid!

It's okay.

It's okay. Right?

It's on your guitar.

It's only the newest, scariest roller coaster

It's really not that bad.

It's so cute. But you didn't like it.

It's Stone's new passion, raising cattle.

It's the journey, right?

It's the third time this month. I know.

It's the worst bed and breakfast we've ever been to!

It's true. They did. They literally cried together.

It's very fragile. Look.

It's very hard for them.

It's what brothers do.

It's... It's just a boring, old house.

James has aids?!

James.

Just 'cause they're a little different from us.

Just be careful not to drop the soap.

Just forget it.

Just leave it alone. Let it calm down.

Just messin' with ya. Shoot!

Just please turn it off, Russ.

Just smush your cheeks.

Just stop doing this.

Just thought we could all sing seal together

Just to get those three.

Just... yeah.

Kevin, apologize to your brother, please.

Kevin, come on.

Kevin, James, get over here!

Kevin, no!

Kevin! Bullying! Guys, come on.

Kevin! Get down here, please.

Kevin.

Key word there is seem.

Kids who don't wanna be with me,

Kids, remember what happened?

Kinda takin' you a little while.

Know the river inside and out, okay?

Ladies.

Last one to the corral's a rotten cowpoke!

Last ride tonight. Park's closin'.

Let me give you a hand.

Let me have a look.

Let me see... maybe if I press this rabbit button,

Let's do this.

Let's go check out your house.

Let's go over a couple safety procedures

Let's just see how far it is.

Let's not do that, okay?

Let's say Hi.

Like a drive through burger place.

Like you and Rusty.

Like, a secret entrance the locals use?

Like, less free with our bodies.

Line can get pretty long this time of year, huh?

Listen, boys.

Listen.

Literally, a pool of shit in Arkansas.

Little bit of rough air.

Little fucker.

Little Romeo and Juliet situation?

Little somethin'.

Lock the door.

Look at her left foot. Smack dab in Arizona.

Look at that. The boys are bonding already.

Look what Kevin did to my guitar.

Look what your Dad rented.

Look who made it!

Look, James. Found a dart.

Look! Look!

Looks like we found our own private hot spring.

Looks like we got ourselves a little old convoy.

Looks like ya did. She left.

Looks that way, pal.

Love you, too. I said I love you.

Man, it sure is beautiful here this time of year, ain't it?

Man, our family fucked that family up.

Man, this place makes our house look like shit.

Man.

Marrying such a conservative.

Maybe it's one of the buttons on the fob.

Maybe one of them could study there one day.

Maybe that's what we need. To be dumbasses together.

Maybe the housekeeping left a...

Me. Your father.

Means a lot to me.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. I wanna thank you

Mm, no. Never have.

Mm, well, Kevin,

Mm.

Mm.

Mm. Mm. You're, like, so cute always.

Mm. Yeah. Are you losin' weight?

Mnh. Ow. Hey! Don't... don't hit your old man.

Mom, do you think uncle Stone

Mom, you should try and stay hydrated.

Mom?

Morning, Rusty.

Mwah!

Mwah.

My eyes, they're starting to bulge.

My friend Jessie says all truck drivers are rapists.

My name's Russ. Pleased to meet you both.

My poems.

Never heard that laugh before. I don't like it.

Never let that go.

Never seen an outlet for that.

No clue. But we'll figure it out.

No girlfriend?

No matter how uncomfortable it seems.

No more bullying.

No no no no no. Ah, come on.

No thanks necessary.

No, a marriage only dies when you stop trying.

No, but you were doing that for us.

No, come on. It'll be fun.

No, I mean, what else could it be?

No, I think I got it.

No, I'm not gonna do it!

No, Kevin. Kevin, no.

No, no, honey. What are we gonna do about them?

No, no, it was terrible.

No, no, no, no. We're not redoing anything.

No, no, no.

No, no, no. No. No, nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong.

No, not one person. That's all different colors.

No, right?

No, see, we bought the platinum pass

No, the cow's not okay, Russ. You drove plumb through him.

No, we can't! We can't!

No!

No! Absolutely not.

No! No, no, no, no!

No! Not... Not in front of my family!

No! Oh. Sorry.

No! Why are you making it sound like I have a vagina?!

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. A Bob Dillon.

No. Come on. I know it's embarrassing.

No. Didn't say three.

No. I I'm sorry.

No. I like it.

No. Me neither.

No. No.

No. This is different. 'Kay, this is natural.

No. What? No.

No. Yeah.

Nope, never again. That is a promise.

Nope.

Nope.

Not embarrassing to me.

Not exactly.

Not my Stone.

Not so fast, Tommy!

Not sure if you need a hand out there, but I'd love to help.

Not to mention, he also snagged himself

Nothing has gone right.

Now listen.

Now, go to your room.

Now, here are the four of us at the Arc De Triomphe.

Now, I hope you're not too old

Now, I might not have gotten good grades while I was here.

Now, I'm gonna tell you what's an even greater stress reliever.

Now, in this one,

Now, the key here

Now, young man, we talked about

O Okay.

Of course not.

Of the one and only Velociraptor.

Oh, and Rusty.

Oh, betcha I am. I'm your caveman.

Oh, boy. Here we go!

Oh, boy. Yeah.

Oh, can I try, Dad?

Oh, come on, sweetheart. We don't know that it's human.

Oh, come on.

Oh, come on. He's kidding.

Oh, doesn't he?

Oh, geez.

Oh, go fuck your wives, Tommy.

Oh, God, it's horrible! Oh.

Oh, God, what I'm gonna do to you tonight.

Oh, God! They're in every state!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Why would that be fun for them, honey?

Oh, gosh.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, gross.

Oh, honey, we don't wanna be late to Audrey's.

Oh, honey.

Oh, I didn't sacrifice anything.

Oh, I don't like that.

Oh, I don't mean that chair. I mean your Pa right here.

Oh, I think I saw a hot tub, Dad.

Oh, I wish. Yeah. No.

Oh, I won't.

Oh, I'm sorry, officer mormon.

Oh, is that right? Uh huh.

Oh, it makes the kids feel more comfortable.

Oh, it's an ear!

Oh, James, that's terrible.

Oh, Jesus Christ, Nancy.

Oh, looks like New Mexico

Oh, man! I love you so much.

Oh, man. I haven't been in a fight like that for years.

Oh, my God, my G Man.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Everybody out of Griswold Springs!

Oh, my God! Oh!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. He took all our money, Russ.

Oh, my God. I can't believe it.

Oh, my God. It's so nice.

Oh, my God. Oh, God!

Oh, my goodness. It has a CD Radio in it?

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh! I saw that on Instagram.

Oh, my gosh! Ohh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. There's so much of it.

Oh, my shit.

Oh, no, honey.

Oh, no, no, no. Please don't say that.

Oh, no, no. You bet.

Oh, no, Sebastian.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. I got this.

Oh, no. We, uh... we've had enough.

Oh, no. We're just stopping by.

Oh, no. Yeah, big.

Oh, not a cow. That's a steer.

Oh, oh, yeah!

Oh, okay.

Oh, okay. I'm just curious.

Oh, really, honey?

Oh, right.

Oh, Russ.

Oh, Rusty.

Oh, she's great.

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shut up, Russ.

Oh, so sorry.

Oh, so you did see 'em. Yeah!

Oh, that's the sulfur, buddy.

Oh, use the vitamix. Just grind it up.

Oh, well, I don't... Why else would I...?

Oh, what the heck.

Oh, will do!

Oh, wow. Eco friendly. Good.

Oh, yeah, but just because.

Oh, yeah, it was fun!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do now?

Oh, yeah? You... you have kids?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you're amazing.

Oh, you're back there! Get out!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Aah!

Oh! I changed the language.

Oh! Oh! There you are!

Oh! The water's perfect.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. All right.

Oh. Oh, I didn't have the sensor activated.

Oh. Oh, my God.

Oh. Oh, tell Mr. Griswold how dope our Go Kart is.

Oh. Well, here's a brillo pad.

Oh. You wanted us to?

Ohh.

Ohh. Nobody slam their arm in the door, okay?

Okay, 'cause look at this one.

Okay, baby.

Okay, enough. Enough.

Okay, gang, joke time is over.

Okay, ladies. Uh... What?!

Okay, no, no, no.

Okay, no! Yeah.

Okay, okay.

Okay, right here?

Okay, so you wanna do this now?

Okay, so, uh, around... th...

Okay, that's not... This is not the point.

Okay, well, Debbie do anything was a dumbass, so...

Okay, well, what are we gonna do?!

Okay, what are we gonna do?

Okay, you two stop that. Guys, come on. There's plenty of time for that.

Okay?

Okay? I'm gonna take one with you.

Okay? No big deal.

Okay? Yeah?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. All right.

Okay. Cool. Okay.

Okay. Do it!

Okay. Just wanted to make sure

Okay. Thank you.

Okay. Um... Rocket!

Okay. Well, what?

Old Sebastian here loves him some ribs.

On a fuckin' trip to walley world

On something a little more Ivy league.

On. Off.

One sweet slice of foxy pie in your Mama there.

Ooh.

Ooh. Ooh, baby.

Ooh. Ooh. You think I'm afraid of that shit?

Oops. Wrong door.

Or coach.

Or I didn't do them.

Or the river's not gonna be the only hot water I'm in today.

Or the time that pan continental

Oui, Oui, Oui!

Oui!

Over. No! No.

Overseas trips we would take and stuff? Oh.

Ow!

Ow! God!

Ow! There's a rock in that.

Ow.

Ow. This really hurts.

Paris.

Perfect.

Petersons are gonna pick you up at O'Hare,

Please don't base it on me.

Please, just let's think about this for a second, honey.

Please. Go on and get packed.

Plug in hybrid.

Pretty girls.

Prove it.

Put us up at the Ritz in Barcelona.

Really?

Right here with you and the boys,

Right, well, w w we just drove 2,500 miles to ride this ride

Right? And then you close it right up.

Right? So you're only using the rim of your mouth.

Right.

Right. Take care.

River's actually very cold.

Rocket. Here you go. Try that! Yes.

Run! Honey, run!

Russ?

Russ. Yeah.

Safer.

Same brother.

Saw ya talkin' to her. Figured you could use a Wingman.

Say you're gonna stop, you little piece of... ass.

Say, if you boys wanna get up early tomorrow,

Seat belts on!

See the little kid's face, he's all,

See the little kid's face? He's all, a cracker Jack box?

See ya around, Econo air.

See you around you piece of ass!

See, now I feel like you're judging me.

See, this is what I'm telling you guys.

See, we're married, and we wanted to just...

See? You don't need a Wingman.

Seeing you with that girl made me realize

Seriously? You're gonna keep pressing buttons?

She and Stone seem really in love.

She can't do it now. She's old.

She's, uh, teaching these bitches a a lesson.

Sheila.

Sheila.

Shit!

Shoot for sherbet!

Should I see if Audrey has a yankee candle?

Should it retract, or...

Should we get in or...

Show me what ya got.

Show up without a ring, and he'll think you're single?

Shut up, Kevin.

Shut your mouth. You gonna stop bullying?

Six. Wow.

Slam it. All right.

Slam the door on my arm.

Sleep tight.

So any time we run outta juice, we can just pull right over,

So basically, he stopped Pearl Harbor.

So do you have to work tomorrow?

So fucking mad! Yes, chef.

So how long is the flight?

So how's the b and b business going?

So I think I'm gonna take this

So I think we're in for a pretty sweet ride, guys.

So many boobies out here!

So there's that.

So we get to skip the lines.

So we're a few minutes late.

So you admit I have balls? Yeah, they hang outta your vagina.

So you can't just take our spot.

So you just wanna redo your vacation from 30 years ago?

So you're not a rapist?

So, are you guys going anywhere special this summer?

So, do you like school this year?

So, guys,

So, I guess we get the last laugh.

So, no guitar tonight?

So, should we, uh...

So, um, I have some clothes

So, um, S Sheila.

So, we'll see you in a week.

So...

So... How come you never told me

So... What do you feel like doing?

Somehow I don't see you crying, though, Stone.

Someplace I shoulda taken you a long time ago.

Sorry about that there, good buddy.

Sorry about that.

Sorry.

Sounds like you found yourself a glory hole. Russ?

Spend a little quality time.

Spinning.

Stay on the balls. I've got the shaft.

Stone is an impressive man, okay?

Stone's political beliefs are different than ours

Stop it.

Sure thing.

Sure you did. No, I did.

Take your shirt off. Make a muscle.

Tanya, no, babe. No, Tanya! No!

Tanya, please!

Tartan's the Honda of Albania.

Tell you what the trouble is, dreamcatcher.

Than it does in Chicago.

Thank you for that.

Thank you so much.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, Adena.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. All right, come on, guys.

Thanks to my report,

Thanks.

That has to be a sign, right?

That I was gonna give to the church

That is the stuff!

That the networks are interested in him.

That there is $6000 worth of juicy, Purebred Angus beef.

That was my stupid brother.

That wasn't fun. Like we always do.

That we haven't had that chat yet.

That we've been renting for 10 years

That you are a sex offender or a pedophile.

That's 'cause you were approaching... You know, James,

That's a 2015 Tartan Prancer.

That's a joke. Guys, it's a joke.

That's actually reassuring,

That's an odd thing to say.

That's from, like, 30 different guys.

That's how many we lost at Pearl Harbor,

That's kind of embarrassing. Right?

That's my jurisdiction.

That's not a brillo pad.

That's not even a thing!

That's not even how you beat someone up!

That's not it.

That's not what I was trying to do.

That's not who we are.

That's only 'cause a dollar goes much further out here

That's ridiculous.

That's right. Last stop before walley world.

That's right. We don't make fun of someone

That's right. We don't remember.

That's seriously what you sound like.

That's weird. Why would they be stretched out in the...

That's what I said.

That's what makes you appreciate the destination.

That's when the national news called.

That's when the plane...

That's... that's very sweet.

The aquatic treasures and everything, right?

The best night of my life.

The Bob Dylan?

The boys are right, Russ.

The boys call it Che boring, Michigan.

The bullying of your older brother.

The dry bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The four of us are gonna take a little trip.

The Jimi Hendrix?

The journey sucks.

The last two months building this thing.

The little guy's face was like, fungs? Huh?!

The menu's all in Korean now. I don't know what to press.

The new vacation will stand on its own.

The owner is a lunatic!

The Petersons are coming over for dinner.

The point is, your Mom and I would love you

The Prancer doesn't go any faster!

The rental guy showed me. Just do it.

The...

Their marriage is a sham.

Then I'll just get the perp...

There are a lot of boys who are born with vaginas.

There are thieves in these woods?

There she is. The Velociraptor.

There was a hole in the side of my stall.

There ya go. Oh!

There's a flight back to Chicago at 4:00.

There's gonna be a few changes, Kevin, all right?

There's gotta be another way in.

There's, uh, fresh milk in the fridge

These pants Stone gave me

These people are clearly in the state of Colorado.

These tumbleweeds are all filled with things that are hard!

They do!

They draw toxins out of your body.

They even took my guitar.

They oughta shut this place down!

They, uh, they love them some airline pilots.

They're fine. They're fast asleep.

They're just havin' themselves a wrassle.

This Chug run raised

This family's in a rut.

This has been...

This is awesome.

This is dope as fuck.

This is exciting!

This is fun and different.

This is how accidents happen. Sacrifice!

This is it! This is why we came all this way.

This is my favorite part.

This is paradise.

This is perfect.

This is so illegal.

This is some bullshit right here!

This is the best thing I've ever seen.

This is wonderful.

This is your captain, Rusty Griswold.

This man's been trying to return it to us the whole time.

This place is huge.

This time...

This water was heated in mother nature's bowels.

This way we can talk to truckers. Okay.

This will be completely different.

This... none... Kevin? Just go to your room.

Those people had an extra 15 minutes to evacuate.

Thought you might want it back.

Thousands of dollars for charity, all right?

Three! Two! One!

Three. Three.

Through one of America's greatest aquatic treasures.

To go on his first airplane.

To make this trip memorable for me and the kids, and...

To mix it up a little bit every once in a while.

To put me through meteorology school.

To show off his six pack.

To some corporate theme park, you know?

To spend all this time with you.

To win back your trust.

Told you you guys would love it, right?

Too bad.

Tri Pi, motherfuckers!

Triple corkscrew loop.

Turn around! Hands behind your back.

Turns out, I'm not engaged anymore.

Two full tanks of gas!

Two more hours, guys.

Two small... Shh.

Ugh. Man. No signal at all.

Uh huh.

Uh, by locking them in a car together? Yeah.

Uh, can you see that dirt road? That path there on the left?

Uh, Debbie do anything?

Uh, Ew.

Uh, got my guide certificate from a cracker Jack box.

Uh, I don't know. I... Korean?

Uh, it is the Tri Pi Chug run.

Uh, passengers on the left side of the prancer

Uh, sorry, hang on a second.

Uh, there were some kids at school

Uh, what?!

Uh... We'll have sex in it.

Um, America.

Um, are you okay, Chad?

Um, but it kinda gave me purpose.

Um, honey, I don't see any hot Springs.

Um, I should go.

Um...

Um...

Uncle Stone is cool.

Uncle Stone?

Very dehumanizing.

W why?

Wait a minute, you...

Wait a minute.

Wait, Dad, I thought we were going to the airport.

Wait, James. No, you're not gonna fight.

Wait, what? Piece of ass?

Wait, what's going on?

Wait! Wait a minute!

Wait! Wait!

Wait. Are you Debbie Fletcher?

Wait. You're serious?

Walley world, here we come.

Was gonna bypass Harris County.

Was gonna make a beeline for mission bend.

Was the best time I ever had.

We all wanted to go.

We barely had a chance to look at it.

We do a 180, cross the median, drive right past him.

We do. But, I mean, it's gotten a little routine, babe.

We don't have a car.

We gotta shake things up. Right?

We have Sheila and Gary wearin' berets.

We just all have to...

We just have to listen a little harder!

We just have to, uh...

We love having people around to care for.

We love it, are you kidding? It's a great fit for us.

We love visitors.

We never do that. Hey.

We pulled over to rescue a baby from a burning car

We took her out this morning for the first time.

We were meant to finish this trip.

We were planning on driving,

We were so happy to get that call.

We worked on it every day after homework and toothbrushin'.

We'd like to thank you for flying with us today

We'll be back before they know we're gone.

We'll be touching down

We'll get a flight home tomorrow.

We'll get you another ring.

We'll just tell Stone and Audrey what happened.

We're about to have sex outside!

We're about to set sail

We're almost out of gas.

We're driving to Walley World.

We're hittin' the road today.

We're on vacation. Right?

We're people people.

We're right near the four corners monument...

We're... we are renting the same cabin

We've been driving for less than an hour.

We've got channels... And the volume.

Weird fucking family.

Well played.

Well you couldn't have come on a better day.

Well, every time he flies that little plane of his,

Well, good...

Well, guess what?

Well, I can take you as far as San Francisco.

Well, I gotta be at the station by 7:30

Well, I guess that's that.

Well, I just want you to know

Well, I thought it would be fun

Well, I was born with an extra set of hands.

Well, it turns out renting a family car on Memorial Day weekend

Well, Kevin,

Well, Kevin's kind of a dumbass.

Well, ladies and gentlemen,

Well, no, all my other friends,

Well, no, I know. But I'm just...

Well, not while there's breath in my body, sweetheart.

Well, now we know what the top hat does.

Well, rim job.

Well, thank you, James.

Well, thanks for the ride. Really appreciate it.

Well, that's a... It's a crazy story, um...

Well, that's funny 'cause I was gonna ask

Well, that's what family vacations are.

Well, the guy also did not know

Well, the guy said

Well, the real highlight, of course,

Well, they sleep around on each other.

Well, this is my dream journal,

Well, uh, if you get thirsty,

Well, walley world is home

Well, we never tried the top hat.

Well, we're almost out of gas.

Well, what have we here?

Well, why not?

Well, yeah.

Well, yes.

Well, you are my queen,

Well, you could give us a tour.

Well, you never have to do it again, darlin'.

Well, you've certainly had an adventure.

Well...

Well...

Well... we're pretty free with our bodies.

What about the kids?

What am I supposed to do, hit him back?

What are you doin' here, Kyle?

What are you doing, Melinda?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What did that even mean?

What did... What did you wanna do?

What do all the buttons mean?

What do I get?

What do you mean?

What do you say? We can drive out and fly back.

What I stuck my finger in and what I burnt down, all right?

What is important right now

What is it?

What is that, honey? On your ear.

What is that?

What is that?

What is with these faucets?

What kind of a family are you?

What seems to be the trouble?

What the fuck is this?

What the fuck is this?!

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the hell is that?

What the hell is that?

What the...

What was that?

What was the plan, Deb?

What, better than you?

What, Ma? I love you.

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? How is that possible?

What? It has a sensor.

What? It's a question. You're ruining it.

What? No! That's horrible.

What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What? What are you doing?

What? What is it? What's wrong?

What? What, what, what?

What? What? What?

What? Who?

What?!

What?!

What?!

What...

What... what are you doing to my face?

What... What's wrong with you?!

What're you doing?!

What's a rim job, Dad?

What's a rim job?

What's going on here? Oh, you'll see.

What's important is not whether I did them

What's important is that

What's Mom doing?

What's on your ear?

What's with all the mirrors?

What's your story? You got a girlfriend?

Whatever.

When a man and a boy love each other very mu... No.

When did you first know the weather?

When I called you a pedophile, I was...

When I was your age, Grandpa Clark sat me down,

When you finish talking, say over.

When you kiss someone with your mouth closed.

Where are we going?

Where you headed?

Where's Mom and Dad, dork?

Which is where four states come together in one spot.

Whimsy log, wish diary,

Who were talking about rim jobs.

Who will take you to Paris and wrestling and... to books.

Who's ready to go on the river?

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa! Don't you kick in here!

Whoa! Oh.

Whoa! Russ!

Whoa.

Whoa. Hey, Kevin? Get back down here.

Whoa. Oh!

Whoo Hoo! Whoo Hoo!

Why are you as good as Vin Diesel?

Why did you do that?

Why did you have me do that?

Why do you take that from him?

Why does it smell like rotten eggs?

Why don't we just... Honey, it doesn't...

Why don't you and your family go fuck yourselves.

Why don't you go to bed, okay?

Why don't you just go someplace else?

Why is it so much angrier than the other voices?

Why is she puking so much?

Why not just have one big tank?

Why two? Carry twice as much gas.

Why two? Carry twice as much gas.

Why would there be a button for that?

Why you keep that Teddy bear on the front of your truck.

Why?

Why'd you get an Albanian car, Dad?

Will be when we get to walley world

Will let me ride his horse?

Will notice the Grand Canyon out the window.

Will that help?

With a lady friend,

Without my sugar mama, here,

Work it, sugar Ray.

Workin' day and night

Wow.

Wow. And you guys built this together? Yep.

Wow. Honey. This is beautiful.

Wow. This is so easy.

Wow. This place has not changed a bit.

Wow. Uncle Stone, I may not agree with your politics

Y'all had everything you needed for the night.

Y'all have a good time.

Y'all wanna keep it down?

Ya said it!

Yeah huh?

Yeah, but it's part of who you are and...

Yeah, course.

Yeah, go, go! Faster! Come on!

Yeah, I keep them with the tampons.

Yeah, I suppose he will.

Yeah, I'll tell you what y'all do.

Yeah, I've always had a thing for musicians.

Yeah, my fingers still hurt a little,

Yeah, of course, that's when I thought

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, she and Stone, they seem to be very happy.

Yeah, sure thing, Russ, if you're up for it.

Yeah, that seems to be working out for you.

Yeah, that way we can make love

Yeah, that's, uh,

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, well, I don't see why not.

Yeah, well, most people think inside the box.

Yeah, well, that's the spirit.

Yeah! All right!

Yeah! That's what's up!

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. And it's really good for you, too.

Yeah. Comes standard in all prancers.

Yeah. I am. You know what I've been doing?

Yeah. I don't think so.

Yeah. I'm gonna see if there's somethin' to clean that with.

Yeah. In the shower.

Yeah. Oh, hey! Look at this!

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. That's why I dangled the key like that.

Yeah. We won't use that.

Yeah. Well, you know what the good news is?

Yeah. What's more mixed up than sex on a public monument?

Yeah. Yeah, it sure can.

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Yeah. Yeah, th that'll work.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep. Chuck was a good friend.

Yes, it is a big number, but that doesn't matter.

Yes, that's right.

Yes, we are, just...

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Sorry, officer.

Yes. Try it!

Yes. Try it!

Yes. Yes. Roger that.

You all come back now, ya hear?

You are 9.2 miles from your destination.

You are not a loser.

You are so cute when you get excited about stuff.

You are such a little boy.

You are wearing entirely too much goddamn turquoise.

You bet.

You boys are growin' faster than a weed under a faucet.

You can really see all the stars out here.

You can watch me herd these suckers into the corral.

You could have just said, come with me.

You could make hot water come out of the cold faucet.

You deserve better.

You do know public indecency

You don't have to let him push you around.

You don't like that? I have an idea.

You don't sound like Debbie do anything.

You get down, too. You get down, too.

You get one bed.

You got any smokey the bears in your kitchen? Over.

You gotta stop that today.

You guys are idolizing very bad behavior here.

You guys ready for the ride of your life?

You had a dream to take your family to walley world.

You have been trying so hard

You have such a vagina.

You have to be cool to be a celebrity.

You have to chug a big pitcher of beer

You have to do something about him. I will.

You hear that?

You heard what he said about

You herd them yourself?

You just cut in front of us.

You just have to study hard

You just keep Gettin' prettier.

You keep your distance, though. We don't want to spook 'em.

You kinda missed the point, there, buddy.

You know how little boys are when their mouths get goin'.

You know how to do that, Dad?

You know it's true. You think you settled for me.

You know what I always wanted to know was...

You know what I mean, okay?

You know what this border represents?

You know what?

You know what? Save it for the judge.

You know, a lot of people actually...

You know, family is the most important thing there is.

You know, honey, I am...

You know, honey, it's not important

You know, I never would've imagined my sister

You know, I remember the night you first wore that dress.

You know, I'll tell ya one thing about the Spanish women...

You know, just 'cause corporate says you're too old to fly,

You know, like a, uh...

You know, maybe we'll take baby Cooper on a trip this summer.

You know, you always

You know... It tastes a little shitty,

You leave that to me.

You people are fucking crazy!

You people are on your own.

You really need to know?

You remember how loose it was?

You still wrasslin', son?

You stuck your finger in the Dean's penis.

You think I'm a loser regional pilot.

You think you could drive us to the airport this afternoon?

You turn into some kind of sexual character?

You wanna go in?

You wanna stomp on my foot?

You wanted to go.

You weed legalizing, mile high piece of shit.

You were about to let that dingus kiss you?

You were the only one who didn't click like.

You'd buy water from a faucet.

You're a clown.

You're a dead man.

You're all that I have in this world!

You're clean and green for the next 20 klicks.

You're Debbie do anything!

You're Gettin' so big!

You're hurting my tummy!

You're just thinking of him!

You're like a legend at Tri Pi!

You're my Fuckin' husband.

You're not actually going on this thing. Yes, I am.

You're pretty good. Oh!

You're right. I'm sorry.

You're such a clown.

You're the Griswolds, right?

You're... you're so cool.

You've gotta get

Your destination is 2,560 miles ahead.

Your forehead's gonna be so sore.

Your wife left this in a truck stop in Missouri.

12 hours.

13. 13?

30! Hoo!

450 feet tall, 110 miles an hour,

'Cause that'd be stupid. That'd be stupid.

Aah! Yeah! Yeah!

Ah. Can you believe that?

Awesome. Stop!

By the sides or in front? Side to side. Side to side.

Come on inside. Thanks.

Come on, guys. What?

Cool! Yeah!

Do it! Rather not.

Do you think I can shoot his guns? No, you cannot.

Do you want me to call the cops? No.

Don't start... You wanna do that again?

Get down! I'm cooperating!

Get your feet off of my state! Hey, come on, now.

Get your leg off of me! You're so slippery and sweaty!

Good one, James. All right, enough, you guys.

Grandpa, you don't have to. No, I can do it. Really.

Guys! Oh, wait!

Hands where? Hands on your right side!

He's a little kid. He's a little shit.

Hey! Stay out of my state, buddy.

Hi there. Hey. Hi.

Hi. What happened?

Hit the brake! Hit the gas! Hit the gas! Okay, I'm...

Hmm, well, that's progress. Wow.

Hold on. Oh, gosh!

Honey, we should go. Wha... Wha... hang... hang on.

How about that, huh? Huh? Oh, yeah, like I'm afraid?

How do you know who I am? Oh, my God, are you kidding me?

I didn't. Me neither.

I don't know. What's wrong with you?

I really don't want to. Don't be shy.

I'll never forget that night. Neither will I, baby.

Is everything okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Isn't it? Yeah.

It's perfect silence. Mm.

James is a piece of shit. Oh.

James? Mom?

Joseph! Yes, chef.

Just let it go! Fine!

Kevin, don't hit your brother. I didn't.

Kevin! Same old Rusty.

Kevin. Kevin.

Let's do this. All right.

Let's do this. Everyone down?

Let's roll. All right.

Louie! Yes, sir.

Make a muscle. I'd...

Mm Kay. Okay.

My house! Oh!

Never mind. Never mind. Okay, okay.

Nighty night. Thank you.

No, we were next. What?

No. Exactly.

No. Exactly.

No. What?

No. We never do this. Come on.

Oh, and Rusty. Mm hmm.

Oh, cool. Sweet!

Oh, God, you're so sexy. Oh, what has gotten into you?

Oh, God! Ew!

Oh, I got one. Yeah? Let's hear it.

Oh, look at the line. This is gonna take forever.

Oh, man. Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, God.

Oh, shit! Aw, shit! We got a live weapon!

Oh, stop. No, I mean it.

Oh, yeah. Oh, hells yeah.

Oh! Oh, we got a live wire!

Oh! What the fuck?!

Oh. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Okay, Mom. Yeah. I'll run you upstairs.

Okay? We can.

Okay. Hi, Chad. All right.

Pretty straightforward. Yeah.

Right? Oh! The muffin!

Rim jobs. Yeah.

Russ! What?

Russ. Oh, come on, Debbie.

So? Let's go have sex on it.

Stay out of this. Hey, I wasn't even in it!

Thank God. Wait, where's it going?

That's enough! Everyone get down! Get down on the ground!

That's it? Sure.

That's not right. This sucks.

That's not... This is ridiculous.

This hurts, doesn't it? Dude!

Uh huh. Oh? Well, come on.

Uh huh. Okay.

Uh huh. Ya sure?

Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh.

Uh, honey... Hey, look at that!

Uh... Yeah.

Use your spit. Oh, okay.

We don't need that chat. Yeah?

We're losing the station, Russ. We're not losing anything.

Well, it's a long story. Give me a hug.

What an asshole. Yeah.

What? It started!

What? What?

What're we gonna do? Can you gimme a hand with this?

What's happening? Why am I swiveling? I'm swiveling!

Who is that? My stupid little brother.

Whoa! No.

Yeah, not to walley world. Oh, God, no.

Yeah, right. Here it comes. Yeah. All right.

Yeah? All right, let's do it.

Yeah? I do.

Yeah? Oh, yeah.

Yeah? Seriously.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah. And you didn't wanna hit him?

Yeah. It's natural.

Yeah. Mm hmm.

Yeah. That's okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Please?

Yes! All right!

Yes! All right!

Yes. Hi. Hey.

You back... you back... Is that what you want?

You gonna stop bullying? Fine. I'll stop bullying.

You remember that night? Yeah, I remember that night.

You take care of that. Wow, Grandpa.

You're making me mad! Yes, chef.

'cause it's the same as me.

'Cause this is actually my first time.

'Cause, uh, I had to work pretty hard

'Course none of that would've been possible