Vacation 2015 (2015) Soundboard Edit

Aah! Oh, my... holy shit!

After Dad flipped out there.

All over me!

All right, guys. Get psyched!

All right, I think tempers

All right. All right.

All right. Let's go, guys.

All right. Let's hit the road. Okay.

And I don't know,

And it's not three?

And listen to your parents, all right?

And of course, it wouldn't hurt

And quiet.

And the coolest man ever! He overcame lupus!

And we had a little chat

And we were.

And you didn't know what goes where

Audrey, Dad flipped out because he loved us

Bring it on.

But Econo air, it's been pretty good to us.

But I just don't wanna do my first big road trip

But the man you should admire the most

But this baby is pretty sweet.

But, honey, it's for charity

But, uh, can't imagine

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on. Go, go, go!

Cool, right?

Dad, is that the pilot?

Did you really show your tits to anyone who asked?

Do it. Kinda fun.

Doesn't matter. We've still got two gas tanks.

Don't be chicken.

Drop the flashlight!

Econo air.

Ellen!

Especially when you make a lot more of 'em.

Every night we do this.

Excuse me, girl?

From South Bend.

From you and the kids that long.

Fuck if I know!

Fuck it.

Get off!

Get outta here, G Man!

Good talk, James.

Guess we're leaving today. Phew!

Gun it, Russ! Gunning it!

Guys, it's seal!

Had to take care of Jenny's grandfather

He does seem nice, doesn't he?

Help!

Help!

Hey there, little guy. Hi!

Hey, Dad.

Hey, honey, why'd we get off the highway?

Hey, you ever ride one of these things?

Hey!

Hey! There's a cow!

Hey! Wait a min... Excuse me.

Hey. Y'all decent?

Hold my bag. Unh Unh.

Holy shit!

Honey, is that... Is that a swastika on there?

How do you like your ears Gettin' messed up with?

How incredibly handsome this young man is.

I call both beds!

I can't believe we actually made it.

I don't like Griswold Springs.

I don't understand, though. Like, what are you even saying?

I guess not.

I have no idea, but who cares?

I just mean... You're old.

I just...

I kinda thought I was taking the high road.

I know it's not exactly first class

I liked that one.

I say we call it Griswold Springs.

I should take one of those jobs

I would break his heart if I told him that we hate the cabin.

I would guess a rim job is

I'm gonna eat your face!

I'm gonna miss the first week of wrestling practice!

I'm kidding.

I'm not sure about... Oh, shoot.

I'm so sorry, honey. Hey.

I'm sure they'll have us down any minute.

If I'm being honest, it looks a little daunting.

In 16 seconds, okay? Okay, hon.

In the country.

Is the cow okay?

Isn't that funny?

Isn't that Sorority Row?

It won't let you slam the door on your arm or leg.

It... It felt like it was something way dirtier.

It'll, like, give it a boost or something.

It's a very serious issue.

It's got all the latest Albanian technology.

It's lookin' good

It's my favorite way to start the day!

It's twice the gas, buddy.

Juris dick in my ass, Kyle.

Just basic safety.

Just shut up.

Let go of me. Stop! Why did you do that?

Like normal families do.

Like, uh, Jack Kerouac or the Merry Pranksters.

Looks like we might get to aunt Audrey's before dinner.

Looks like your car's pretty messed up.

Make it... Make it stop!

Mm hmm.

My trip to Walley World when I was a kid

Neat, huh?

No one's calling me old. Fuck you.

No, I didn't. Rusty, it was loose

Now get washed up.

Now what?

Now, between us...

Now, guys, you just have to speak their lingo.

Oh, I saw it, honey. You gave her a good scratch.

Oh, it's on.

Oh, Jesus Christ

Oh, Kevin.

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my shit! I can't believe it's you!

Oh, no, no. That's not okay.

Oh, no. No way, man.

Oh, no. We can't. Rusty loves it so much.

Oh, there you are. They're here!

Oh, will uncle Stone be there?

Oh, wow.

Oh, yeah. Good call, Griswold.

Oh, yeah. That's it.

Oh!

Oh! Must be the extra gas tank.

Oh. Dang it.

Okay, gang.

Okay, go with him, please, and keep an eye on him.

Okay, I got the wheel! I got the wheel! Okay! Okay!

Okay.

Okay. I think I'm done.

Okay. You folks enjoy the rest of your flight.

One of these Go Kart Kits.

Ow. Ow.

Please don't hang up! No! No! Goddamn it!

Rim job. Country of origin.

So that's the CD Radio, guys.

Stop it! I'm telling Mom.

Stop!

Sure thing, Rusty.

That I will click like on all your photos.

That sucks.

That was actually my Dad.

That'll take you to the hot Springs.

That's it.

That's the spirit. All right.

That's why you're jumping my bones!

Then how come the one night we're hangin' around with him,

This is because of him, isn't it?

This is really weird.

This is so embarrassing.

This one has two boys.

This trip's been a nightmare.

This, and makin' love to your sister.

This'll be the highlight of your trip.

To actually clicking like on them.

To let your Dad give you a good night rim job.

Tri Pi, motherfuckers!

Uh, don't, uh, don't worry about it.

Uh, hey, Stone,

Uh, who saw my Paris pics, they clicked like.

Um... let's see.

Unless you need my help with yours.

Wait, what?!

Wait, where are you going?

We did.

We'll find a wrestling range along the way.

We're a day away from walley world.

We're gonna do a whole lot more than look.

We're naked and covered in human waste.

We're occupied right now. Beat it.

We're the Griswolds!

Well, guys, what'd you think of walley world?

Well, how would we even get to Walley World?

Well, it looks like we got us a couple of mavericks.

Well, that was awful.

Well, uh, TV remote. Okay, let me show ya.

Well, yeah, that's what I thought I...

What about Walley World?

What do you mean?

What do you mean? I just said I did.

What do you say you and I build a Go Kart together?

When we visited the Grand Canyon when I was a kid,

Who has that much pubic hair?! It's not even possible.

Who wants to see Stone's man cave?

Who was hitting on you in Arkansas?

Whoa ho! Dad, stop

Whoa!

Whoa!

Why don't you plug up your ears with mitt romney's dick?

Why? I'm not... You're not...

Will you continue to be my wife?

Without disrespecting each other's traditions.

Wonder if the prancer has roadside assistance.

Wow! Holy cow.

Wow.

Wow. Your ring is getting loose, there, Deb.

Yeah

Yeah, look! See?

Yeah. I am hard as a faucet right now.

Yeah. It's a... It's a great stress reliever

Yee Hoo Hoo!

Yes!

You give 'em a good scratch like I showed ya.

You gotta go faster, Dad! Go faster!

You like it when I slap that ass?

You might have about that stuff,

You must be the fung family!

You take the one on the left. I'll take the one on the right.

You two! Freeze!

You were in the Jeep.

You would think it would retract.

You... you did?

Your number is so much higher than mine.

Aah! Oh!

Blblbl! Blblbl! Stop it! What are you doing?!

Get down on the ground! You get down!

Get out of the poop! That was nasty!

God, I don't know. Oh, shit.

Hi, Grandpa. Come here, you two.

I have a penis. What?

I have an idea. Mm hmm.

I know what goes where. You do?

Mm. So, what's that?

Night, Stone. Good night, St Stone.

Oh, Russ. Clark.

Show us what you're workin' with. All right.

You all right, Deb? What? What?

'Cause I want to go to the movies with my friends