Grumpy Old Men (1993) Edit

A beautiful woman just sitting there...

A men's strip joint?

A snow angel.

A stroke is no damn good. You could end up like a vegetable.

Aah!

Ah, goddamn it. Look, Ariel, please.

Ah, gotcha.

Ah, I try.

Ah, it's killing you, my ass. He doesn't know the meaning of the word pain.

Ah, that's okay. Gustafson does the same thing.

Ah, the little girl is Alexandra, my granddaughter.

Ah, well, I had all of this stuff that I had to get taken care of. I, uh...

Ah, what the hell is that?

Ah, yeah? Well, that's a warning.

Ah, yes, there's nothing like the scent of...

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Guest bathroom.

Ah. Yeah, well, uh...

Ah. You always were a lousy loser.

Aha.

Ain't got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.

ALEXANDRA: Candy.

ALEXANDRA: Good night, Grandpa.

All I know is you're one hell of a fisherman, Ariel.

All right, I take it back. I don't thank you.

All right, we did the horizontal mambo! We danced it!

All right. Now, careful, fellas, huh? Hey, Mel.

All the ideas that you brought to those young minds.

Always hanging out around those kinky strip bars.

Always.

And by the state of your bathroom, I presume that you're a bachelor.

And I also know that the only things in life that you regret...

And I got a black eye for my effort.

And I'll lay 8 to 5 you can't get it up the entire honeymoon.

And if anybody says otherwise they're damn liars.

And if you leave me at Christmas...

And next up is a...

And now that we know each other, don't be a stranger, neighbor.

And that all you have, see, is the experiences.

And then you begin to count the minutes rather than the days...

And these little guys.

And, God, Mel, if you see a chance to be happy...

Angel, right. Take it easy, Chuck.

Any luck today?

Any paperwork put in the back of my car, okay?

Anyone looking?

Are you crazy?

Are you dead?

Are you friend or family, sir?

Are you friend or family?

Are you out of your mind? Max!

Ariel reminded me that I was alive.

Ariel, I think it might be a very good idea if we didn't see each other.

Ariel, I'm sorry that...

ARIEL: Be careful. MAX: Okay.

ARIEL: Here we go. Wait, wait!

ARIEL: Hi.

ARIEL: Hmm.

ARIEL: I can't hold him, Max. Work him. Work him.

ARIEL: I see you've met Ernest.

ARIEL: I'm trying. He's so strong! MAX: Easy does it.

ARIEL: Max!

ARIEL: Oh, Max. MAX: Uh oh. Uh oh.

ARIEL: Oh, you mean you were friends?

ARIEL: Oh! This is great!

ARIEL: Well, it's my inspiration. You did...? You're an artist?

ARIEL: What?

ARIEL: Whoo!

Ariel.

Ariel.

Ariel.

Ask me, she's probably a member of one of them religious cults.

At least you could go down to Slippery's and make peace with the man.

Aw, that's so sweet, Max, but...

Ax? All right, fine. You wanna clock me? You think you can take me? Come on.

Be careful. That's over 1 00 years old. Damn thing might collapse.

Been watching the squirrels. One of them's making a nest under your eaves.

Believe me, this man is a menace. He's always drinking, starting fights.

Berkeley, that explains it.

Bloodsuckers.

BOTH: The best.

Boy, he sure wasn't pleased about modeling in the nude.

Bull. You're trying to steal her away, just like you did May.

Burn, baby, burn.

Bust my tuchus to get down here on Christmas Eve to thank you...

Bust my tuchus to get here on New Year's Eve...

But he promised to come over for Thanksgiving.

But I thought...

But now I'm back to the classics of literature.

But you don't get much and what you do get doesn't paint a picture.

But, you...

Can I come in?

Can I put Allie in your bed?

Caught my limit.

Ch... You forgot to unlock the back door, you dummy.

Check the bedroom. I want all that paperwork filed.

CHUCK: Ha, ha. Can I get you something?

CHUCK: Hi, John.

Chuck?

Chuck? Hey, Chuck!

Chuck? How?

Cleared his car straight over the bridge into the Mississippi.

Colder than a witch's titty out there, isn't it?

Come on in. Have a little TV dinner. Lasagna's heating up now.

Come on over to my place, Melanie cooks up a real feast, Chuck.

Come on, answer the door.

Come on, sweetheart. Hi, John.

Come on!

Come on. I gotta win a million bucks.

Come over here and apologize.

Come spring, this neighborhood will be a lot safer...

Come Sunday afternoon, another cold front...

Complete idiot. Ah.

Cooking. Ha, ha.

Cooking. Yes, yeah. That's...

Could have been either of you if you just had the guts to ask.

Could I have little? Oh. Mmm.

Could you at least, uh, talk to him?

Could you have a word with your dad? See if they can't make up for Christmas.

Could you tell me where Mr. John Gustafson is?

Couldn't get it up, huh, Chuck?

CREW: Ha ha ha! And, uh...

Dad, this isn't about you. This is about me and Mike.

Dad, try and understand.

Dad, we're gonna separate for a while.

Dad.

Damn disgrace the way they coach that team.

Damn kids.

Damn, that's great, Mike.

Damn.

Damn.

Did you get it worked out?

Did you hear about Eddie Hicks?

Did you...

Dirty rat. I'll show him. Picking on people.

Dirty rat. Little turd.

Do I love her? What the hell does that have to do with anything?

Do the world a favor and pull your lip over your head and swallow.

Do you believe in angels?

Do you paint?

Do you want me to go after him?

Doing real good. Real busy and everything.

Don't egg him on. Go back to your fishing and leave him alone, all right?

Don't let it happen again or I'll punch you in the nose.

Don't make me have to separate you two again, damn it.

Don't you agree?

Don't you understand? I like being alone.

Drives pretty fast on that snowmobile.

Eat my shorts.

Emergency. We need an ambulance. Somebody dial 911 .

Enjoy your shower, smartass?

Ever since I got here, you and Max Goldman...

Everyone needs some form of...

Except for maybe Thanksgiving and...

Fascinating.

Fellas, you're in a church.

Fellas. Fellas.

Fish?

Fish...

Five years ago.

Followed by local news.

For chrissake.

For you maybe.

Friend.

Friends. Friends is good. That's good, isn't it?

From the moment I saw you, I could feel that we had the same kind of aura.

Full of courage and life.

Gallstones, yeah. Gallstones are for pussies.

Gave me back my old fishing pole and I told you, "thank you."

Gay or straight?

Get out of here, both of you.

Get out of there.

Get your asses in here!

Getting hungry.

Give it your best shot, shrimp.

Give me a cardiac any day.

Give me two packs of Camels...

Go to work, baby.

God damn you, Goldman, you...

God...

God...

Goldman.

Goldman. It's Goldman.

Good morning.

Good. I'm making Sichuan.

Goodbye, gentlemen. Goodbye, John.

Got it, Pop. Just like you said.

Gotta use hot water, you schmuck.

Grab me one too.

GRANDPA: Hey, you two!

GRANDPA: Kids. You can't live with them, can't shoot them.

GRANDPA: Oh, I snagged it about an hour ago.

GRANDPA: Oh, my. MELANIE: Too much, Dad?

Great dental plan.

Gustafson.

Gustafson's straight as a grizzly's dick. He'd never cheat on his taxes. Never.

Ha, ha. She seems to know you.

Ha. Women and fish...

Had he done so, we'd have informed him...

Happy Thanksgiving.

Have I upset you?

Have you seen him?

He belongs in a rubber room.

He has the intelligence quotient of a newt.

He just keeps the ones he eats. That's what he says.

He showed up last night. Says he's gotten himself straightened out.

He started it.

He tried to steal her away from me, but I won.

He will when we sell his house.

He'd never find that.

He'll cool off down at Slippery's. Come on in.

He'll have his own leftovers.

He's dead.

He's dead. Died on impact.

He's in. He's in.

He's just my friend.

He's, uh...

Head on collision with a freight truck.

Hell is he doing there?

Help, help! It's an emergency.

Here's your mail.

Hey, Chuck, guess what Pop found.

Hey, dickhead, you win the lottery?

Hey, Gustafson, your cat crapped on my steps again.

Hey, Gustafson. Here's a house.

Hey, how is he anyway?

Hey, is Pop out there at the shanty?

Hey, it ain't my fault. Chuck was a friend of mine too.

Hey, Jacob, you got my vote. That's terrific.

Hey, John!

Hey, Max, will you say hello to Jake for me?

Hey, Mel. Hi, Jakey.

Hey, not one word to your old man, remember?

Hey, Pop.

Hey, Pop.

Hey, watch your mouth, you dumb frigging Swede.

Hey, why don't you give some of the leftovers to Jakey?

Hey! Drop that fish.

Hey.

Hey. Just finishing breaKfast.

Hey. Where's Santa's favorite little girl, huh?

Hi, I'm Ariel Truax, your new neighbor.

Hi, Jacob. Hello, putz.

Hi, John.

Hi, Punky.

Hi!

Hi.

Hi.

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. Would you like some coffee?

Holy moly.

Holy moly.

Holy moly.

Holy shit. Max. Stop the car, you idiot!

Honey, marriage isn't easy, you know. You gotta work at it.

How about some supper tonight? After your class, I mean.

How am I gonna...? People are asking about you.

How are you gonna support her when the IRS takes your house away?

How come you never asked me out?

How could you do that to a '54 Super Zenith?

How is the Grinch today?

How the hell does she see any shows?

How the hell should I know? I just got here.

How you gonna take care of her, huh, Gustafson? Huh?

How'd you like a clue for what's coming up this week?

However, uh...

Huh? Mr. Gustafson.

Huh? Yeah, well, I, uh...

Hypothermia's a bitch.

I always knew, you know.

I am not afraid to be alone.

I bring it out on special occasions. Heh.

I can fix it for you though, if you wanted me to.

I can see the beauty in this now.

I can't accept it.

I can't keep coming back here every couple of days.

I can't wait around for anotherAmy. I ain't got time.

I could smell it in the car. This stink.

I do too.

I don't believe it. That old trick?

I don't care who started it, you're gonna end it.

I don't have time. I just dropped by to give you the placard for the yard.

I don't know what's wrong with him. He just exploded.

I don't know, the house seemed so empty tonight. I do so love bathrooms.

I don't know.

I don't like him. I never liked him.

I don't like you hanging around here all day long, damn it.

I don't say anything on one condition:

I fish.

I fixed your fishing pole.

I forgot about them this year.

I get it.

I got a pinched sciatica that would make your lumbago look like eye strain.

I got a sure winner.

I got him right where I want him.

I got zip to offer her.

I had a gallstone the size of a baseball.

I had a little, uh, business.

I had to get some things worked out for myself before we could work on us.

I happened to come by these two tickets for the Gopher game.

I have to confess it's not mine. It's from The Zoo Story by Edward Albee.

I haven't had sex for 1 5 years.

I heard.

I hit the cans again.

I hope you don't mind, but I saw your light on...

I just did it to torture you. Ha, ha.

I just prefer to experience things...

I know that you said that you wanted to get rid of me...

I know you're in there.

I know.

I mean, for a while. Anyway.

I mean, I'm just glad it's over and done with.

I mean, if it's too exciting, I'm up all night.

I need something for my lumbago. The pain is killing me.

I never liked him anyway.

I paint the shed every spring.

I said it's time for bed.

I see you only snagged one, huh?

I started yesterday. Oh, I love the classics, don't you?

I suggest you read it.

I teach American literature at Winona State University.

I think he never catches them.

I think I see one.

I think it's kind of late.

I think we're going to be great friends.

I think, perhaps...

I thought I was lucky.

I thought you said Chuck was going to VFW.

I thought you said...

I took them out.

I touched a kid on the back of his head while he was snoring.

I understand completely.

I used to teach courses in Expressionism at Berkeley.

I want to ask you something.

I was wondering where you were.

I wonder if you gentlemen could tell me...

I, uh...

I, uh... I just came by to wish you all a Merry Christmas.

I, uh... It doesn't... It...

I...

I'd be honored.

I'd be proud to, Jake.

I'd rather kiss a dead moose's butt.

I'll be with you in a second. I have to do something here that's very important.

I'll have you mated in three moves.

I'll tell you what's on my mind.

I'm Ariel Truax.

I'm asking you to accompany me to my office.

I'm Elliot Snyder of the Internal Revenue Service.

I'm gonna keep ringing the bell, so you might as well answer the door.

I'm gonna kill him.

I'm good, Jacob.

I'm Jacob Goldman, Mayor of Wabasha.

I'm just gonna keep knocking.

I'm not prepared.

I'm out. I am out.

I'm Ronald Reagan. I used to be President of the United States.

I'm sorry your friend is sick, Mr. Goldman...

I'm sorry, Jacob.

I'm sorry. I love you so much.

I've got a 30 day cease and desist order says you can't touch this house.

I've laid more pipe in this town than Wabasha Plumbing.

Idiot.

If he looked like you, he'd never get on the ballot.

If I knew there was a nude scene in this picture...

If I was a young fellow like you, I'd be mounting...

If only for a moment.

If you hadn't had Amy...

If you see him...

If you're not going to keep our date tonight...

Important? Yes, sir. We'll tell him when we see him.

In his sleep.

Is he really gonna run for mayor?

Is it me?

Isn't it wonderful to have a little adventure every day?

Isn't that right?

It is just beautiful.

It looks like Chuck is taking the skinboat to tuna town.

It makes a difference, damn it.

It shaves as close as a blade, or I'll give you your money back.

It was an awakening.

It was dropped off at my house by accident.

It was like being young again.

It was my Roosevelt's New Deal lecture.

It was the greatest sex I ever had in my life. All right, are you happy?

It would make the whole thing worthwhile.

It's a gift.

It's a matter of, oh, miscalculation.

It's a perfectly legitimate question.

It's a shame that nobody ever sees you with these monsters.

It's a shame that... That, um...

It's butt cold out here and I'm fresh out of beer.

It's hard to work at it when he's never there.

It's just a lot of gum flapping.

It's like one of them Fatal Attraction things...

It's no use pretending this isn't happening, Mr. Gustafson.

It's not a matter of cheating.

It's not even Thanksgiving, and here we are enjoying our lovely fall weather.

It's not worth the effort.

It's snow, snow, and more snow.

It's the Green Hornet.

It's the middle of the night and I don't know what the hell is...

It's the snow.

It's time for bed.

Jacob got them to waive the penalties and interest...

Jacob said that old Billy Hinshel was killed in a car crash.

Jacob says that Michael and Melanie are, uh, gonna get back together again.

Jacob, moron. Jacob.

JACOB: Everyone in town is talking about this woman.

JACOB: Hey, John. Hey.

JACOB: Hi, John.

JACOB: Holy moly. MELANIE: Ha, ha.

JACOB: Oh, it never is.

JACOB: Pop, I can't tell if this is done.

JACOB: Uh... Ha, ha.

JACOB: Whoa.

Jacob! No! Ha, ha.

Jeez Louise.

Jesus Christ!

Jesus Quincy Adams.

Jesus, listen to Casanova, will you?

Jesus.

JOHN [IN MOCKING TONE]: "Lots of ice out there, Gustafson."

John Gus... What?

John Gustafson?

John, when was the last time you made love?

JOHN: Ah. Hello, fellas.

JOHN: Hey, Chuck.

JOHN: Hey, um... MAX: Hi, Chuck.

JOHN: How you doing, Punky?

JOHN: No? Of course not.

JOHN: Now wait. You got all four wheels on the track? Okay.

JOHN: Oh, my God!

JOHN: Oh. Say, Mel, she came by the other day...

JOHN: Okay, Max. This time you win.

JOHN: That did it. Oh.

JOHN: There she is. Wabasha.

JOHN: There's Granddaddy's little girl. What's going on?

JOHN: Three, four five...

JOHN: What's the difference? You got her anyway.

JOHN: Yeah, Christmas.

JOHN: Yeah, sure. MIKE: Good night, baby.

JOHN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

JOHN: You smell something?

John.

Just squirrels.

Just why do you think, bonehead? I'll have a six pack, Chuck.

Keep the change.

Knew what?

L got a pinched sciatica that makes your lumbago look like eye strain.

Last night in his sleep.

Left hook...

LEMMON: I throw back what I'm not gonna eat.

Let's get out of here.

Like you.

Listen, do you love her?

Listen, Mel, if you need someone to talk to tonight...

Look at all the crap you... Excuse me. The stuff you got here.

Look at that. What the hell has gotten into you?

Look out, Goldman's gone nuts. Look out!

Look, don't tell me what to do, huh?

Look, Goldman...

Look, I don't know one damn thing, but I know this:

Look, I'm not like you. L... I'm not afraid to be alone.

Looks like Chuck is taking a ride on the wild bologna pony.

Looks like Chuck is taking the old log to the beaver.

Looks like Chuck's a tomcat on the prowl.

Looks like Chuck's gonna bury his boner.

Looks like Chuck's gonna put the hot dog in the bun.

Looks like Chuck's taking old one eye to the optometrist.

Looks like he's gonna enter the holy of holies.

Looks like he's making a house call.

Looks that way.

Lost him in Vietnam.

Lousy. Thought you two were getting a divorce.

Lovely.

Lucky bastard.

Lucky bastard.

Magnificent? He's a damn record breaker. You've got a 3 footer.

Mainly, I don't like you coming over here any time you feel like it.

MAN [ON TV]: Actually does look like hair growing there.

MAN [ON TV]: Remington MicroScreen Rechargeable Shaver so much...

MAN 2 [ON TV]: Give it all you've got. Again and again and again.

MAN: Hey, John.

MAN: Marker.

MAN: Slate it.

MAN: Yes, sir.

Man's crazy. Loco.

MATTHAU: I was also in the movies for a while. I was a lousy actor.

Max was telling me about your new neighbor.

Max, cut it out.

MAX: Ah.

MAX: Come on. Aah! Aah!

MAX: Creep.

MAX: He is. JACOB: I don't think so.

MAX: Holy moly.

MAX: Holy moly.

MAX: Merry Christmas.

MAX: Miss?

MAX: Mrs. Cusack over at the store said she came in yesterday...

MAX: Okay. Okay. JACOB: Ta da!

MAX: Reel it in. I can't hold it.

MAX: See you tomorrow. ARIEL: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

MAX: So long. CHUCK: Hey, boys.

MAX: That's it. Coming. Coming. ARIEL: Aah! Aah!

MAX: The Green Hornet strikes again!

MAX: The guy could be dead tomorrow, for chrissake.

MAX: You know what Jacob said?

Maybe I'll get lucky. Don't wait up for me.

Maybe the rest of us should just put our lives on hold...

Me? Mmm...

Medication?

Mel and Mike, they're getting a divorce. They call it a separation, but it's divorce.

Melanie is getting a divorce.

MELANIE: Bedtime. Say good night to Grandpa.

MELANIE: Dad! MIKE: Ha.

MELANIE: Dad...

MELANIE: Hi, Jacob. JACOB: Hey, Mel.

MELANIE: That would be great.

MELANIE: Who is that?

Merry Christmas, John.

Merry Christmas, John.

Merry Christmas.

Mike! Hey! You're next, big guy.

Miss Truax, would you do me the honor...

Miss, could you tell... Could you...?

Mm hm. You've got to look hard but they're there...

Mm mm mm.

Mm, mm.

Morning, John.

Morning, Punky.

Moron.

MOVER 1 : Got it. MOVER 2: There we are.

MOVER 3: This up front? MOVER 4: Yeah.

MOVER: Morning, Mrs. Truax. ARIEL: Morning, how you doing?

MOVER: Watch your step, ma'am. ARIEL: Thank you.

Mr. Gustafson, I'm just trying to help you.

Mr. Gustafson, will you answer the door, please?

Mr. Gustafson. We had an appointment.

My daughter Melanie and her mother, and Melanie and her husband, Mike.

My door is open. He knows where to find me.

My manners. I'm so sorry.

Never mind. Just forget it.

No wonder the ladies "Don Juan" anything to do with you.

No, close the door. Come in.

No, hey.

No, I don't wanna have anything to do with her.

No, I mean, you know...

No, I'll tell you what's beautiful. This monster on my wall stuffed.

No, I'm sure John started every fight since 1 940.

No, no, I mean it.

No, no. That's okay.

No, really. When Billy Gerber locked me in his tree house...

No, wait a minute. Has she got big thighs?

No, why?

No.

No.

No. Gustafson? No, no, sorry.

No. I...

No. Jacob.

Nobody's gonna believe me. Let me get a camera.

Not nervous. The groom is nervous.

Not quick like a stroke.

Not yet. But I don't wanna die looking at your ugly face.

Not you, smartass. Didn't ask you.

Nothing that shouldn't have happened years ago.

Now go to your shanties, all of you. You're scaring the fish away.

Now stay tuned for tonight's $6.4 million jackpot on Powerball.

Now you know your old gut can't handle no jerky.

Now, don't you think it's time that you finally introduced yourself?

Now, Mel, um...

Now, there's nothing addressed to a Mrs. Gustafson.

Now, these people over here?

Nurse?

October 4.

Of course, you might have known if you hadn't been out with that minx.

Of what? Are you...?

Oh, ah, he's fine.

Oh, and John...

Oh, are those for me?

Oh, but you wouldn't understand that. Because you're too pig headed.

Oh, Chuck.

Oh, cold enough for you? Brr!

Oh, couldn't rise to the occasion?

Oh, damn.

Oh, did you hear? Someone moved into the Clickner place. Awoman.

Oh, for God's sake.

Oh, for God's sake. Could I remind you, Einstein, May was no prize.

Oh, for... Jesus, it's impossible. Impossible.

Oh, fr... Fr...

Oh, God. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute.

Oh, hey, Jakey. Merry Christmas.

Oh, hey, listen. Melanie said that she's gonna come by tonight.

Oh, I hope it went all right.

Oh, I hope you weren't mad at me for putting them all back.

Oh, I think we're safe.

Oh, I understand.

Oh, I'm sorry. I just...

Oh, I'm sure you know that, John.

Oh, just a little C A N D Y. It's not going to kill her.

Oh, man. I better run. See you.

Oh, Max.

Oh, me? Oh, jeez. God, no. She's too... She's too disturbed for me.

Oh, my God, is that familiar. Your mother wondered where I was for 20 years.

Oh, my God, they've come for me.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I, uh...

Oh, no, it wasn't romantic at all. It was... Ah, well.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. There can be no stuffing. This is a live creature.

Oh, not yet. Not on your life. Get out of here!

Oh, nurse. Nurse?

Oh, once in a while you reach one. You touch them somehow.

Oh, shut up, fat ass.

Oh, sure, you were with the guys at the VFW.

Oh, thank you so much, but I already have made plans. I'm sorry.

Oh, thank you, dear.

Oh, that was sweet, Jacob. Wasn't that sweet, Mike?

Oh, this is, uh, broccoli.

Oh, wait a minute. I can't have anything spicy.

Oh, yeah, forget it. See you, Chuck.

Oh, yeah, like that 40 pound muskie you're always yakking about.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah? Like that 40 pound muskie you're always yakking about.

Oh, yeah? Now you're telling me you're going to go after her?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I can see the beauty in that.

Oh, yeah. Uh huh. I guess...

Oh, yes, yeah, new neighbor. Yeah, she came over to see me last night.

Oh, you have a wonderful smile. You should wear it more often.

Oh, you must be Max Goldman.

Oh! Grandpa!

Oh! You're on.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. History, it's so romantic.

Oh. I learned from the best.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Oh. Where are you going?

Oh. Yeah, fish.

Okay, I can wait.

Okay, okay, if it wasn't sex what was it?

Okay, that'll do it.

Okay?

Okay.

Ooh, about $1 3,000.

Or else, uh...

Our first number is a...

Out of the way, Slick. Come on, baby.

P yew!

P yew! What the hell is that smell?

Pain. He wants to talk about pain.

Pain. He... Is it...? Does he?

Passed on.

People always try to be nice by saying you look great but, uh...

Phew.

Phew. Puke.

Phil, have my herbal therapy oils arrived yet?

Phil, wait a minute. Don't ring that up yet.

Pop didn't have mistletoe, so I...

Pop, do you know how many minutes this thing needs to cook?

Pop, I can't. I'm sorry. I'll call you.

Pop...

Put one of these in your yard.

Putz.

Reared by local volunteer firefighter, Peter Carlson, of Wabasha...

Reminded me of the Iast Christmas I spent with my husband.

Right.

See you, Chuck.

See, these days, they say you have to do safe sex.

See, women fall too hard for me.

She chose me. She did.

She what?

She, uh... She look good?

She's an angel.

She's mine.

Shingles schmingles.

Should be room enough for the both of you.

Shouldn't we get to know each other a little better first?

Shrimp thinks he can get funny with me.

Shrimp, you're not going anywhere.

Six inches of snow on the ground already...

Six point four million. That's our estimated jackpot tonight.

Slick?

Slippery. Very slippery.

Snake in the grass.

SNYDER: Asshole.

SNYDER: Let's go, let's go. Hubba hubba.

SNYDER: Listen, men, all the furniture goes to the auction house.

SNYDER: Mr. Gustafson, I have to talk to you.

SNYDER: We'll see about this.

So are you seeing anyone special, are you?

So how you been?

So I see.

So, Ariel, uh...

So, what do you say?

So?

Some of your mail. Heh.

Somebody moving into the old Clickner place.

Sometimes I think you've lost whatever frigging marbles you ever had.

Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way...

Sounds like a wacko to me.

Special delivery from California.

Spit it out. I haven't got all night.

Squirrels.

Stay there, you little bastard.

Stay there.

Stupid moron.

Sure be nice to have some turkey right about now.

Sure do.

Sure moved around a lot the last few years, didn't you?

Sure, John.

Sure.

Sweetheart, I'm gonna walk down to Slippery's.

SYNDER: I don't care. We got a problem here, sir.

Take that, you criminal.

Tell me about it in the morning, Jacob.

Tell me something, Chuck.

Tell me, who's this?

Thank you, Ariel.

Thank you, John. It was a wonderful evening.

Thank you, Lou.

Thank you.

Thank you. How sweet.

Thank you. It was such a pleasure meeting you...

Thanks, fellas. But you know those old boys over at the VFW...

Thanks, Jacob. I'd like that.

Thanks. That's kind of old news though, John. Where you been?

That I was a man full of energy, love, and passion.

That pre cooked stuff his old man gets? That tastes like cardboard.

That the first 90 years or so...

That way you can spend next week in bed with ptomaine, huh?

That you had a crush on me since 6th grade.

That's all there is, Johnny. Everything. The experiences.

That's just great.

That's me. It's important.

That's not just a woman living across your street.

That's what I used to do. I was a TV repairman.

That's, of course, if he's taken his medication.

The Daughters of the American Revolution are having a little dance at the VFW.

The first microscreen is so thin it shaves incredibly close.

The Green Hornet's caught more fish than you've lied about, Gustafson.

The handsome guy right behind him. You know him, I think, don't you?

The last man that I slept with was my husband.

The only damn thing I caught all day.