💬 The Wrong Guy

A desperate man fitting the killer's description

A guy covered in blood showed up at La Trattoria. You think it's a lead?

A guy that just risked the life

A killer? No.

A list of Cuban assassins?

A list?

A man matching the description

A Mexican standoff is where no one has an advantage.

A single room, please.

A whole shipment of tainted ham.

Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaah!

Aaah!

Aaahhhhhhh!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Aah!! Aah!

About those gunshots.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Adios, comrade!

Agreed?

Ah, but if I hadn't brought it up,

Ah, Nelson...

Ah.

Ahh.

Ahhh!

Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh!

Ahhhhhh!

Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhh!

All right, fine, if that's the way you want to play it.

All right, here's my idea

All right, hop in.

All right, I'll stay, but just for a little while.

All right! But if one more cop shoots me,

All right! I may not have any supercops,

All right.

All right. Let's roll.

All set for the big day?

Also, have him throw a couple of those chops on the grill.

Although authorities have not publicly stated that they have a suspect,

An advanced scout for an alien invasion force,

An epiphany.

And all those damn wealthy farmers

And anyway, this is your stop, so...get out.

And call one of those escort places.

And don't make me switch to Plan "C."

And escaping through this hatch,

And he knew he was being recorded?

And he should ask me about a list?

And I bought more condoms.

And I think you're telling the truth.

And I was wondering if you could suggest a show.

And I was wondering what all the commotion was.

And I'd bring you some lunch.

And I'll need double the money.

And I'm really happy that you're staying.

And I've never seen you before.

And if you do have a favorite,

And leaving me forever.

And my prints were all over the murder weapon,

And now everybody thinks I did it.

And plant me a fresh crop of corn.

And put him in a responsible position at the bank,

And ruining your father's business.

And see what the trouble was, you know?

And that fence might stay up if it doesn't rain.

And the FBl will give you all the backup and resources

And the federal controls

And there is nothing you can do about it.

And there was something about you

And we have to eat canned food

And we'll cancel the helicopter.

And whatever happens to me from here on in,

And you don't kill me?

And you said a manicurist had no useful role

And your investors will get some of their money back.

And, well, I can't betray my daughter.

And, well, lately it's been impossible to make ends meet

And...

Announcement's at 10:00.

Anyways, uh, going on to the next order of business.

Are you okay?

Are you saying you have a third hostage we cannot see?

Are you sure it was him?

Are you sure you want to do that?

Are you sure?

Arlen on megaphone: We know you're in there. We've got you surrounded.

Arlen, we got a lead.

As much as I'd like to stay here

As soon as I kill him, I'm gonna kill you, too.

At the time of the murder?

Aw, damn!

Aw.

Because we can't afford to fix it.

Been in your family for generations.

Before we begin,

Before...police...

Big day, though. Gotta go.

Big promotion's being announced today, and I think I know who's going to get it.

Boy, you know what I'd do with that million dollars?

But congratulations, Nelson.

But don't get me wrong. If I have to, I'll shoot you.

But good.

But I will leave here of my own free will!

But I would never marry just to further my career.

But I'm a very intuitive person, see,

But I'm gonna have to let you go.

But it turned out he just wanted to get in my pants.

But it was near Harvard.

But it'd be a shame if people around here

But it's very friendly of you to be concerned.

But keep their distance.

But out there in Metcalf with you and your father

But that's just 'cause I pulled it out of his skull.

But then The Depression came along,

But these two human lives are valuable, right?!

But this is great. You've been a great help to me.

But this is where they excel in defense.

But those of us that chose to wear seat belts are fine.

But time marches on.

But trust me, you're making a big mistake, all right?

But until that time, I am a fugitive from the law.

But we get married, right?

But you probably shouldn't be picking strangers up off the highway.

But you're a very beautiful woman.

But you're gonna feel pretty stupid when you find out who I really am.

But, sir, the killer

But, well, it wasn't a good idea, was it?

But, you know, since I'm still on the run and all...

But...well, damn it,

By an astonishing 30% in just the last week.

By sophisticated hidden surveillance cameras.

Cal...

Cali

Calicranstonsonhil

Can be used as deadly weapons, friend.

Can I come in?

Can't say.

Cancel it!

Captain Hughes, I want to know one thing.

Clear!

Cleveland sounds good to me.

Constance, I have something important to tell you.

Constance: You have reached Constance. Please leave a message.

Contained within the tragic murder tape

Crystal? Miss Crystal Ball?

Daddy...

Damn him!

Damn, damn, damn,

Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!

Damn, damn, damn!

Damn!

Dark hair, right handed.

Detective Arlen,

Detective Arlen, Cleveland P.D.

Detective Arlen, they've been spotted!

Detective Arlen, we really should do something

Did I have one of my spells again?

Did you bring the money?

Do the police suspect you?

Do you know this man?

Do you understand?

Don't be silly. You don't know the way.

Don't feel so bad, doc. You did all you could.

Don't let him get away!

Don't pull 'em over yet.

Dr. Helen Harris.

Edgar, your father got the money

Enema Bag Jones.

Evening.

Every time!

Everybody just settle down!

Everybody, look, the money from this bank is in that town.

Everybody's in such a rush.

Everything is falling apart.

Everything's so wonderful.

Except for that one guy who said he was

Excuse me. I I've read all of these. Do you have anything else?

Filthy towels.

Find an old cardboard box to sleep in.

Find me.

Fine, fine.

Fine, l I understand.

Fine.

First, we better disinfect it.

Follow me.

For room and board.

For that house you're living in from this bank.

For your your graciousness,

Fred?

Freeze!

From the front page of this newspaper.

Gavin: Mornin'.

Gee.

Gee. It sure sounds like

Get in. Come on.

Get rid of her or I'll kill her.

Get us some dates.

Get us two tickets to that "Moby Dick" musical...

Get your own rat, you son of a bitch.

Give me give give

Give me that.

Give them the respect they deserve.

Give yourself up?

Go sit on that bench over there.

Go to hell, you bastard!

Go to hell.

Go.

Good for you.

Good morning, Cindy.

Good morning, Denise.

Good morning, Mister...

Good morning, Mr. Hibbert.

Good morning.

Good morning. Big day, huh?

Good night, Lynn.

Good night, Nelson.

Good work, Arlen.

Great, get one.

Great.

Great. Then everything's okay.

Ha!

Ha! Ha!

Handyman kind of stuff.

Has finally met his match.

Hasn't been to this French restaurant either.

Have a gin and tonic waiting for me.

Have the chef make whatever the suspect ate. I want to get into this cat's head.

He did this somersault thing onto a squad car while shooting.

He might kill the hostages.

He must've been working out for months.

He wanted us to watch.

He was here a while ago.

He was with a woman and a man

He's about 5'9", brown hair.

He's alone.

He's anywhere in New York.

He's been trailing me since Cleveland.

He's been trying to shut us down for years.

He's everywhere I go, and he brings the cops with him.

He's gonna be tough to catch.

He's gonna find a way to capture the killer and get us to safety.

He's ready.

He's taking it really hard.

He's trying to tell you

Hello?

Hello.

Here, here.

Here's Cathy La Conole.

Here's your change.

Hey, fellas, how 'bout that game last night, huh?

Hey, fellas, today's the big day, huh?

Hey, how's it going?

Hey, Ken... thanks for saving my life.

Hey, listen, I don't know

Hey, thanks for the condoms. See ya.

Hey, that's Ken Daly. I work with him.

Hey, there. Morning to you.

Hey, you don't know what it's like out there.

Hey! Maybe I could be more use to you down at the bank.

Hey.

Hi.

Hi. How far will...$36 get me?

Hi. Is there somewhere I can clean up?

Hi. Today's the day.

Hibbert, listen Ken Daly is the new president!

Hibbert, you're making an ass of yourself.

Hibbert?

Hibbert.

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmph. You're there.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

Hogtie you, and shoot you in the back of the head.

Hold it.

Hold on!

Hold on! Wait a minute!

Hop in.

How how how how how

How can you tell?

How could you let this happen?

How dare you how dare...

How do you feel now?

How do you feel?

How does that help me?

How far will this get me?

How is this possible?

How like that mangy Tom am l, forever search

How?

Huh?

I am a complete idiot.

I am a wanted man.

I am an idiot.

I am starving.

I am the owner of Fred Holden Savings & Loan,

I asked for a Swiss passport.

I better get to bed.

I brought the money.

I call it the "no bullet" theory.

I can hear you!

I can tell you this.

I can't do any heavy lifting.

I can't get used to this chair.

I can't tell you.

I can't.

I could kill you right now

I did not kill your father.

I do, however, have a few questions.

I don't care if that shopping mall's

I don't care what direction. I just need to get to Mexico.

I don't follow.

I don't know how to say it any more clearly.

I don't know what you are,

I don't know, down the road.

I don't know.

I don't know. About half an hour.

I don't see the album cover here.

I don't think I could eat another bite.

I don't want a helicopter!

I fell on my keys.

I felt, for the first time, that I belonged somewhere.

I give up.

I got a sister in Cincinnati

I had, um, I had a, uh...

I hate Metcalf.

I have to glue this fence back up.

I haven't been miniature golfing since I was a kid.

I haven't seen him before or since.

I haven't seen in 8 months. Let's go!

I I do have an MBA from an lvy League college.

I I don't know what you've done to get the bugs out,

I I heard. I heard.

I I hope you don't mind me saying this,

I I just need to make a phone call.

I just did what any good citizen would do.

I just don't think you're the kind of person

I just thought it would be up to me

I just want to thank you, though,

I just want you to admit that it's not Hibbert.

I just wanted to let you know that despite what the police may believe,

I just wanted to say, "good luck tomorrow"

I just was at a meeting with Hibbert.

I know that.

I know you didn't make it through life as a handyman,

I know you've been trailing me ever since Cleveland.

I know.

I left my home for you.

I lied.

I like that.

I may be a coldblooded killer,

I mean he.

I mean, I have done everything in my power

I mean, if you knew how funny it is

I mean, it's not strictly Ivy League, I mean,

I mean, we don't have the first clue as to who this guy is.

I mended a fence for no good reason.

I must live in hiding,

I never would've thought of that.

I quit my job. I I abandoned my life.

I really don't think that's necessary.

I said, "It's like

I see you've finally got a replacement for Miss Evans.

I suppose.

I swear I will kill you.

I think Daly was in on this thing right from the start.

I think he hired you to kill Nagel.

I think he, uh, I think he went to the washroom.

I think his head is probably wedged between the ladder rungs.

I think I'll take a walk.

I think it's a man.

I think more than anything,

I think you're really helping out father at the bank.

I thought I'd stop by,

I thought it was a good way to throw suspicion off me.

I tried to tell you.

I understand.

I want my money back!

I want to close my account!

I want to see Nagel now.

I want you to know that

I was just taking a shower when I heard all the sirens,

I will leave here now...

I will never forget these past four hours.

I will...

I wish I could have been there for you.

I'd buy me a new gas station with solid gold pumps.

I'd just like to make a special acknowledgement

I'd like to go back there and save your father's bank,

I'll bring you nothing but heartache.

I'll check back on you in 15 minutes.

I'll go browse the convenience store.

I'll have to spend the next couple of years

I'll meet you at the bar.

I'll never catch you.

I'm I'm a nobody, all right?

I'm afraid you're mistaken.

I'm already hurt!

I'm an alleged killer.

I'm commandeering this vehicle. Official police business.

I'm going to give Nagel a piece of my mind.

I'm gonna kill at least one of my hostages!

I'm gonna ransom you for a fortune.

I'm gonna try to make my way to Mexico,

I'm guessing you did.

I'm just an ordinary guy

I'm just begging you not to kill me.

I'm just trying to tell you that love is dangerous.

I'm Lynn.

I'm not a supercop.

I'm not gonna save your life.

I'm not surprised they'd print your lies.

I'm not surprised. It was just a hunch.

I'm not usually the DJ, but I'm trying my best.

I'm positive.

I'm slightly narcoleptic.

I'm so happy you're staying.

I'm sorry about getting you involved in all of this.

I'm sorry. It just happened.

I'm sorry. You'll have to wait.

I'm starting to have some very strong feelings for you.

I'm sure nobody even knows about the offer.

I've been driving this route for years.

I've got something I want to get off my chest.

I've lived here all my life,

I've met someone, and I think I'm falling in love.

I've never trusted you.

Iet me remind you if I go down, you go down.

If certain facts became public.

If either of you speak, I'll kill you.

If I even hear a chopper, I'll kill someone!

If I really believed that, I'd have to pull over,

If something goes terribly wrong.

If we see some of the girls dance.

If you can't get inside information?

If you try to run, I'll kill you.

Iife was real.

In a crime that I did not commit.

In a police investigation.

In fact, you used the words, "Between you and me, Nelson,

In this case, I could use this guy as a shield,

Including man made viruses.

Innocuous, feeble, weak.

Iraq?

Is big surprise

Is Is there any way he can defend himself?

Is 6 feet tall, 180 pounds.

Is a Cuban assassin.

Is believed to have stolen a black Jeep Laredo

Is everything all right, sir?

Is everything all right?

Is Harris...

Is still my daughter.

Is that that nice place with the really thick veal chops?

Is that what you're trying to tell me?

Is that you are engaged to my daughter Constance,

Is this often requested bit of comedy relief.

Is, um, that your car?

It made me realize how shallow my life has been.

It was empty and it was ugly.

It was more like a realization, but on a grand scale.

It was so convoluted.

It would have gone under anyway.

It...wouldn't be... proper.

It's a...allergy. [ Clears throat ]

It's all right.

It's an emergency.

It's just hard to meet people.

It's just, our refrigerator is broken,

It's like a gun pointed at your head.

It's Lynn. I was just joking.

It's me Nelson. Nelson, your fiancé.

It's me.

It's not how it looks.

It's not?

It's on its way.

It's simply a matter of killing both of you,

It's the most powerful of all emotions.

It's these damn eyes.

It's very nice.

It's, you know, only natural that I should be curious.

Iying on the floor unconscious,

Jacob, do you remember when you needed money

Jazz some sort of jazz ensemble.

Jimmy, call Ticketmaster,

Jimmy, how long would it take

Jimmy, you can tell me at intermission.

Jimmy: Detective Arlen.

John...

Jones.

Just as soon as you open the hatch.

Just be at Mr. Tiny's on Wednesday.

Just doing my job.

Just need your name for our records.

Just on the basis of one stupid rumor!

Just stole a catering truck outside Oklahoma City.

Keep this up, I'll retire.

Ken Daly.

Ken is the new president.

Ken: What happened?

Kennedy's head just did that.

Kill you, and then kill him anyway.

Kind of an idiot?

La Trattoria...

Let go of one of your hostages,

Let's face it. I think there's some pretty strong feelings going on here.

Let's focus all our energies on catching this killer.

Let's follow this up.

Let's get him!

Let's go!

Let's move out.

Like what?

Listen, Nagel.

Listen!

Look at him pull himself into an air duct.

Look behind you!

Look, Daly, if you sent this guy after me to set me up,

Look, do you have have, by any chance,

Look, I am telling you. I am a terrible hostage.

Look, I don't mean to hurt you

Look, I just need a ride, okay?

Look, just calm down. No one's gonna find you.

Look, l I'm trouble.

Look, my partner's having a heart attack, and you're gonna save him.

Look, you and I both know I killed Nagel.

Look, you don't want me around here, all right?

Look!

Lynn hired me to be the new handyman.

Lynn, are you all right?

Lynn, I think we need to talk!

Lynn, who fixed the fence?!

Lynn: Canned ham?

Lynn: Did I have one of my spells again?

Lynn?

Man #2: We interrupt this game for a live UNB update on the murder of Randall G. Nagel.

Man on radio: Uh, that was...

Man on TV:...In this grisly work that we do.

Man on TV:...Johnson's patented inside move,

Man: You.

Man.

Many common household items

Marry you, and settle down.

Mayb this was a bad idea.

Maybe I should drive.

Maybe I'll scrounge a meal from a dumpster...

Maybe just some ice for the swelling. That would be great.

Maybe so.

Maybe we should let the Feds handle it.

Me too.

Meet me on the 23rd, 12:00 noon, Mr. Tiny's.

Men in this town just don't wear jewelry.

Mexico I mean, nowhere in particular.

Miss, this is your stop.

Mm hmm.

Mmm.

Money back!

Morning, folks.

Morning!

Morning.

Morning. Big day today.

Most definitely.

Most likely a genius.

Move it!

Mr. Nagel's life was recorded 24 hours a day

Mr....

Must...escape...

My daughter loves him,

My God, man, I am engaged to your daughter!

My instincts tell me, uh, we might get a lead

My mistake.

My name is...

My name?

My name.

My name...

My real name...

My siren's stuck again.

Nelson my name is Nelson.

Nelson, I know that Lynn told you

Nelson, I think I'm falling in love with you.

Nelson, maybe you could help.

Nelson, Nelson, Nelson, it's me.

Nelson, Nelson. It's nice to meet you, Nelson.

Nelson, you solved the mystery.

Nelson!

Nelson?

Never able to rest, never a moment's peace,

Nice to meet you, Lynn.

No longer my problem. Let's go, Jimmy.

No reason.

No, Billy is not gay. [ Laughs ]

No, he's not.

No, he's smart, supersmart,

No, I didn't.

No, I'm I'm I'm No, I'm sorry, Lynn.

No, it was not clear.

No, it was pretty clear.

No, l It's me Lynn.

No, no, he's a Marine. [ Laughs ]

No, no, it doesn't.

No, no, it had, like, religious proportions to it.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, of course not.

No, sir. That's a man.

No, that's all right. I understand.

No, that's my name.

No, that's not it.

No, that's, uh, that's impossible.

No, then it's not the same guy.

No, they think I killed Randall Nagel.

No, you put down yours

No, you're gonna save me.

No, you're not.

No, you're wrong. You've got this thing wrong.

No.

No. Don't move. Stay where you are.

No. I have no idea who that is.

No. No, they don't.

No. Our guy's too smart. Pulled himself into an air duct, didn't he?

No. We've got this tape and this printout.

Nobody thinks that I did it? Nobody is after me?

Nobody told me they had security cameras.

Nope.

Nosebleed really bad nosebleed.

Not just yet, Jimmy.

Not morally, but physically.

Not really.

Not that anybody who went to Harvard ever took the bus.

Now we'll have to switch to Plan "B."

Now, if you could just pivot a little clockwise.

Now, moving on

Now, Nelson, set these people straight.

Now, that is quite enough, Hibbert.

Now, uh, can we move on?

Now, you're not gonna risk it all

O Okay.

Of course he did.

Of course I will.

Of course it's my car.

Of international supercops.

Of that elite thing you were talking about

Of the most wonderful woman in the world.

Of the murderer of Randall G. Nagel

Off of a westbound train from lndiana,

Oh, and a mai tai for the lady.

Oh, and, Jimmy...

Oh, and, uh, here's your passport.

Oh, Crow's Nest isn't a town. It's a proposed town.

Oh, don't worry. I have condoms.

Oh, G oh!

Oh, Gav, this is Nelson. He's, uh, replacing Mrs. Evans.

Oh, God! Aah! Aah!

Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Please. Please don't kill me.

Oh, good.

Oh, great, great, 'cause, you know...

Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Oh, ho! Bad idea, Lurch.

Oh, honey, just having you here,

Oh, I'm Nelson.

Oh, isn't that a coincidence...

Oh, it's Crow's Nest, all right.

Oh, just another meaningless stranger, just like you.

Oh, like I really feel open

Oh, my God, you're hurt.

Oh, Nelson.

Oh, no.

Oh, okay.

Oh, sorry. I'm just making things worse, aren't l?

Oh, that doesn't matter.

Oh, that looks pretty bad.

Oh, that. That's no big deal.

Oh, that's great.

Oh, the bank, wow.

Oh, then, no, I'm not from around here.

Oh, there's there's no need to thank me.

Oh, they they didn't have any.

Oh, uh, Cali uh...

Oh, uh, my name's...

Oh, very impressive.

Oh, well, you know, normally I wouldn't,

Oh, what's the use?!

Oh, where are you going?

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Nothing to worry about.

Oh, you are dead to me, sir. You are dead to me.

Oh, you must be her father. Hi. Nice to meet you.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh. Hey, maybe you could help, uh, uh,

Oh. Hmm.

Oh. Okay. All right. Fine.

Oh. There you go.

Oh...

Oh... where will you go?

Oh...this cracker is so filling.

Okay, 'cause the point still remains.

Okay, before we continue on,

Okay, Charlie, what are you carrying today?

Okay, I can hear, I just can't believe what I am hearing!

Okay, I can't play the staring game.

Okay, look, maybe this was a bad i

Okay, that's enough.

Okay.

Okay. We'll get right on it. Thanks.

On my signal, we move in and apprehend the suspect.

Once we get to Mexico,

One one, the man who killed your friend's boss

One of our boys got a little overzealous.

One single ear of your filthy corn here!

One?

Open it slowly, Daly.

Open the hatch, Daly.

Or I blow a hole through this guy's head.

Or part of some supersecret elite force

Or we could stay in Cleveland.

Out of the country.

Ow!

Ow! Burning! Burning! Burning my eye!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Please stop! Please stop!

Ow! Would you let me finish?!

Ow. I'm sorry.

Paging Dr. Chris Cooper.

Pardon me.

Pardon.

Park over there.

Perhaps I've said too much.

Pick up if you're there. Pick up, please.

Please call us at the number flashing on your screen.

Please stop staring at me like that.

Please try to remem

Police have released surveillance camera footage showing the grisly murder.

Protein.

Pull in up here.

Pumped his stomach, then the guy disappears.

Put down your weapon.

Quiet!

Quite sure.

Ready.

Really great news about Ken, huh?

Really need to be alone right now.

Really?

Really? That surprises me.

Really? Wow.

Remember that guy who walked in on me in Nagel's office?

Restrain him.

Right, but you think I'm gonna get it, right?

Right.

Right. I'm sorry about that.

Right. We don't anybody else to get hurt.

Righto.

Room 4 0.

Safe passage across the border, a million dollars in cash

Safe.

Same time tomorrow.

Says they picked up a drifter

Security!

See if they have a blond Asian girl.

See that chair?

See, I'm I'm just a simple country banker.

See, Jimmy?

See, we went through a pretty big modernization back in 1958.

See?

Sell me your share of the bank now,

Shall I pull the car around back, sir?

She's wonderful.

Shut up! And get out of the car!

Shut up! You drive.

Shut up.

Since you've been so involved this far,

Sir

Sir, should we try to find that screaming woman?

Sir, sir!

Sir, unless he crosses state lines, this is a local matter.

Sir, we just got a call from

Sir, you dropped this.

Sir...

So I guess you'll be taking your million dollar reward

So I thought I'd just make it official.

So that's the woman that found the body.

So tomorrow, you start at the bank.

So why wasn't anyone watching the Nagel office monitor

So you're sure the murderer is in that bank?

So your uniform's in the locker.

So, um, not from around here, are you?

So, you won't tell me who you are or where you're going?

So, your brother's gay, huh?

Some hospital in Columbia, Missouri,

Some kind of highly trained G man

Some of you may have heard through the office g****vine

Somebody else say something.

Something happened to me back there

Soon that land will be a pasture for dairy cattle.

Sorry about that.

Sorry.

Started to lose confidence in the bank,

Starting at every noise.

Stay back... or the supercop gets it!

Stinking yellow coward.

Stop the charade. I'm not stupid.

Suit yourself.

Sure will be nice to tear this old bank down

Sure. Single, double, junior suite?

Sure. Why?

Table eight, please.

Take that.

Taking the money,

Tell the snipers to get in position.

Tell them to use air support to follow them,

Tell us what you know about the murderer of Randall Nagel.

Tell you what let's check this out.

Thank you, daddy.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks, Lynn. Me too.

Thanks, thanks.

Thanks.

That could commit a murder.

That couldn't further my career.

That everybody knows you killed Nagel?

That he's 5'11 1/2", 183 pounds,

That I have a gun pointed at your head.

That I should pick up a hitchhiker

That light is so harsh. Do you mind?

That looked like he worked in a pizza parlor.

That means a lot.

That they can suck my ass!

That was all right.

That was okay.

That was, uh, my idea.

That woman's nowhere near that size.

That you could be our handyman,

That you would think that.

That'll be $29.95 in advance, Mr....

That's a bad idea, Lynn.

That's all right. [ Laughs ]

That's awful.

That's called "you're a stinking yellow coward."

That's him all right.

That's him!

That's it!

That's just great. What kind of resources?

That's Ken Daly. I work with him

That's new.

That's not your name. You're simply lying to me.

That's when my father died.

That's when we replaced the inkwells

The The point still remains that you had absolutely no

The candlestick looks just like a candlestick.

The crime...of murder!

The Feds would like you to stay on the case

The hurly burly of farm life

The killer is still at large.

The killer? Yeah, he went that way!

The man you want came in the bank right before the police got here.

The Nelson Hibbert I know is incapable of murder,

The new president of Nagel lndustries...

The note's coming due, and business is way off.

The only reason I don't fire you

The papers will be ready to sign in the morning.

The person we're looking for

The real question is Where am I going?

The sort of feelings I've never had for anyone

The supercop I'm holding hostage.

The way her eyes light up a room,

The way her laugh fills me with joy,

The way she flicks her tongue when we kiss.

Then I'm not waiting!

Then you should label them "favorite" and "not favorite"!

There has to be some way out of this.

There must be a lot of men interested in you.

There were no gunmen at all.

There you go, Jimmy. You can't fight love.

There you go.

There you go. $500,000.

There, there.

There's a gun pointed at your head."

There's just something I want to get settled.

There's nothing out there. There's no town.

There's the broken branch, the ditch, flat tire.

They could be heading toward Mexico.

They guy I saw stuck his head in the water machine.

They just turned into Mr. Tiny's.

They'll know I was here.

They're just too sensitive to chemicals and...

They're nearing the border!

They've had a murderer working behind the teller's window.

Third time's the charm.

This call's probably being traced.

This doesn't look anything like me.

This friend of mine was the first person

This has been the happiest time of my life.

This is a stickup.

This is Crow's Nest.

This is hard for me to say.

This is the man we're looking for.

This isn't my blood.

This killer is one tough customer.

This may get dangerous.

This million dollar reward.

This newspaper's owned by Farmer Brown.

This was my brother Billy's room.

Those are flesh and blood actors up there.

To asking you questions right now.

To find his boss stabbed to death,

To get a job to support us.

To get from here to Cincinnati by helicopter?

To Nelson Hibbert, whose procurement department,

To start that men's jewelry store?

To suck up to you to get this promotion.

To take a total stranger, a hobo,

To the broccoli field, Jeddediah, and hurry.

To the loading dock, then call me down.

Today's a big day for me.

Top of the morning, milady.

Trying to shut me down.

Two two, that means they'll come after you

Two can play the staring game.

Two things

Ugh.

Uh huh.

Uh, bad back?

Uh, better yet make it four tickets,

Uh, has increased its efficiency level

Uh, he wounded a bunch of my guys.

Uh, I'd like to make a reservation.

Uh, Jimmy, notify the locals that we're coming.

Uh, Jimmy, pull the patrol car around

Uh, now here's some, uh, news off the...news machine

Uh, now, if you'll excuse me,

Uh, screaming man that found the body?

Uh, uh, that's our blanket.

Uh, where is Nelson? I thought he was just here.

Uh, yeah, I had to foreclose on you,

Um, Nelson,

Um, well, you know, odd jobs,

Uniform?

Unlimited.

Up the ladder. Let's go.

Using two tea bags and some wax paper.

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute! Just wait a minute!

Wait! Why?

Wait.

Was comfort enough.

We can't cancel it.

We don't want anybody to get hurt.

We don't want to look too conspicuous.

We found it...better not to watch him when...

We know the killer of Randall Nagel is in this bank!

We know you know who he is and where he went, so tell us!

We may really be in trouble this time.

We probably should do something about that.

We want our money back!

We want our money back! Money back!

We'll go back to my house, and I'll bandage that cut.

We'll make it. We're doing just fine.

We'll set up roadblocks, then move in.

We're gonna need a miracle and need it fast.

We've already ordered it.

We've got a problem.

Well, Bob and I are going up there next week,

Well, Farmer Brown was just here.

Well, for some reason, I'm not very popular.

Well, frankly, I miss the old chair,

Well, from the video, we've been able to establish

Well, great, he's out of Cleveland.

Well, Holden, I'm surprised to see that you're still open.

Well, how did you possibly expect me to understand that?

Well, I better be going.

Well, I consider myself a pretty good judge of people,

Well, I kinda figured.

Well, I saw it fall from your coat.

Well, I think we have enough here.

Well, I thought you wanted Nelson.

Well, I wonder how the customers will feel

Well, Jimmy [Sighs] apparently, the killer

Well, let's roll the tape back and see the actual killer again.

Well, looks like we got ourselves a Mexican standoff.

Well, Lynn, that's my story.

Well, maybe that's what he'd like us to believe.

Well, no thanks to you, Farmer Brown.

Well, no, "safe" isn't the right word.

Well, normally, it's not a good idea

Well, not really. I still might get killed.

Well, now you can go back. See ya!

Well, she's got a big heart.

Well, since you own the newspaper,

Well, sir, we have no reason to believe

Well, this is nuts.

Well, tomorrow's a big day for me.

Well, um, maybe you could work here

Well, we'll see.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

Well, whatever it was,

Well, you can believe what you want,

Well, you can do whatever you want.

Well, you didn't get it from Brown.

Well, you know how small towns are.

Well, you know, it's a small town.

Well...

Well...it looks like secret agent...Ken

What a terrible likeness.

What about signaling people

What did you just say?

What do you say you and l get out of here?

What do you suggest?

What do you think of this, young man?

What facts?

What game? There was no game last night.

What happened?

What if I put down my gun, walk away,

What kind of a man has a favorite daughter?

What kind of trouble you're in, pal,

What makes you say that?

What supercop?

What the hell are you doing?

What, the reward?

What?

What's that called?

What's the point of pulling an inside job

What's this all about?

When I have my own perfectly good...

When they find out

When we're not speaking or running?

When you were standing out on the road that I trusted.

Where are you from?

Where I will remain until I can prove my innocence.

Where you headed?

Where you'll find a car waiting with provisions.

Where'd you get that idea?

Which runs under the Rio Grande to Mexico.

Who are you?

Who can map the human heart when

Who golfs with the CEO every Wednesday?

Who I have appointed as our new president,

Who is marrying his daughter?

Who knows why?

Who, although she is a great disappointment to me,

Who?

Who's responsible for this?

Whoever it is, he's getting in the way. I'm gonna get rid of him.

Why are you acting this way? And who's this?

Why are you laughing like that?

Why does everybody look so down?

Why don't you go get us a table down front?

Why would I be driving someone else's car

Why?

Willing to step over anybody that got in my way.

With a problem a friend of mine is having.

With all the low interest rates

With everything they've got,

With flame detailing on the sides.

With stunts like these, they're never going to.

With that gun pointed at my head.

With the ballpoint pens.

With you and your father, l I can't.

Woman over paging system: Dr. Chris Cooper

Woman over paging system: Dr. Rosco and Dr. Hanover to Emergency.

Woman: Last call for the express bus to...

Work uh, what what kind of work?

Works for me.

Would you stop staring at me like that?

Wow. Supercop.

Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, I think I saw him.

Yeah, I'm sure I saw him.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, so, anyway, I figured I'd come down

Yeah, the police think he killed Randall Nagel.

Yeah, we can work on it tomorrow.

Yeah, well, that's him all right.

Yeah.

Yeah. I've got work to do.

Yes, but, uh, Daly here is engaged to my favorite daughter, Daphne.

Yes, I did threaten the man,

Yes, I'll kill you for signaling.

Yes, sir.

Yes, they do.

Yes, we are!

Yes, you did.

Yes?

Yes.

Yes. This way, please.

Yes. Yes, I did.

Yes...

You are going to be the next president of this company."

You ate 10 tainted hams. We pumped your stomach.

You better pick up two tea bags and a sheet of wax paper.

You can stay here.

You can tell your friends at the post office

You cold son of a bitch!

You didn't really think you were going to get it, now, did you? [ Laughs ]

You don't have to leave, you know.

You don't know the man you're dealing with here!

You double crossing bastard.

You folks could use some help around here.

You gave me very strong reason to think that I would.

You got it from us.

You got what you want. Just go.

You had to take the same bus that you took to get to Harvard,

You know how many assassins it took to kill JFK?

You know something, Mr. Killer?

You know what I think?

You know what? I'm feeling much better, really, much better.

You know you can't hold out much longer.

You know, 'cause what with being completely innocent and all,

You know, clawing my way to the top of the corporate ladder,

You know, guys, l...

You know, I can jump back into the rat race. Either way.

You know, I don't have very many friends.

You know, I really appreciate what you did,

You know, possibly getting you killed

You know, weird, creepy.

You must be thinking of somebody else.

You need to continue your investigation.

You remember the one we only use

You said, "It's like a gun pointed at your head."

You see, I'm the prime suspect

You see? It's like I said. He is stuck.

You seem more, uh, like, um, harmless,

You seem so...

You should have said,

You should run away from love.

You spent some time in New York City.

You sure he's not an idiot?

You think I'm gonna get it?

You think so?

You want to play the staring game? Fine.

You will never grow

You win, all right? Big man! You win, all right?

You'd have never said anything, huh?

You'll never get away with this.

You're describing an epiphany.

You're going to the convention, aren't you?

You're just an ordinary idiot.

You're just too damn good.

You're leaning on the intercom. People can hear you.

You're letting the killer go!

You're not a killer, are you?

You're not a supercop, are you?

You're not going anywhere.

You're not making any sense.

You're not such a tough guy. You're just an old softie.

You're probably still a little out of it from the toxins.

You're trying to tell me that you killed Nagel?

You're very lucky to be alive.

You're welcome.

You've got to believe me. I didn't do it.

Your expense account shows

Your helicopter is on the way.

Your note's due in 30 days.

Your teller there is a coldblooded murderer.

Your treatment of me is completely unacceptable, and I just

Your warmth, and your hospitality.

1, 1, 1...

9 out of 10 times, this is the truth.

"Beauty and the Beast" was terrific. Really?

[ Beep ] Hello, Constance.

[ Metal rattling ] You.

[ Newspaper crinkling ] Give me! Ow!

[ Telephone clanks ] Uhh!

[ Thud ] Hey!

[ Thud ] Uhhh!

[ Whack ] [ Whimpers ]

Aah! Aah! Aah! Really?

Ah! Ah! Ah! about this or any of the cases presented this evening,

Ah! Ah! Ah! If you have any information

Ahhhhhhh! Aah!

All right. See you tomorrow. See you, guys.

An epiphany? No, no.

And a helicopter. And a helicopter!

And, Lynn... What?

Aw! Aw! Aw!

Aw! Yeah!

Cali Calicranston

Calicrans hilmanton. ...ton, ton.

Calicranstonson Calicranstonson

Calicranstonsonhil Cal

Calicranstonsonhilmanton. Calicranstonson

Calicranstonsonhilmanton. ...hilmanton!

Dr., uh, Martin... Yes?

Get down! Take cover!

Hilmanton? ...ton!

How 'bout you? What?

I got your tea bags and wax paper. Thanks.

I happen to be the most wanted man in America. No, you're not.

I just didn't want to embarrass you in front of the killer. Ohh.

I know that. This is one exception.

I'm serious! [ Gun cocks ]

I've been carrying you. I thought you wanted to.

I've seen him pull himself up into an air duct. Really?

In there! In there!

Is that him? Can't be.

lce? Yeah.

Look, we're gonna be on the run together, right? Right.

Lynn... What?

Mm hmm. of millionaire Randall Nagel

No, it's me. Really?

No. No?

Oh, right. Oh, good. Good.

Ow! My eye! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Ow! Ow! That, my friend, is a very wise decision.

Really? Yeah, really.

The teapot looks a lot like a teapot. Is that right?

Uh, Lynn... Uh huh.

Unlimited, huh? Uh huh.

We need you. I'm sorry, I'm busy.

We want our money back! We want our money back!

Whoever it is Not Hibbert.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah. Hey. What?

Yes, it was. People don't talk like that.

You're awake. Yeah. For a while now.

You're such a gentleman. Thanks.

...Jeep?

...ton.

"Moby the Musical" a must see.

"Moby."

"Oh, only an alley cat toying with an empty tin."

"Police artist sketch of Nagel assassin"?

"There is a gun pointed at my head."

"What's that?" I'll say.

[ Air hisses ]

[ Alarm blaring continues ]

[ Beep ]

[ Beep, dial tone ]

[ Beeping ]

[ Beeps ]

[ Bell dings ]

[ Bird caws ]

[ Birds chirping ]

[ Birds chirping, brakes squeak ]

[ Bones crack, dog barking ]

[ Brakes squeak ]

[ Brakes squeal ]

[ Brakes squeal, hiss ]

[ Brakes squealing ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Buoy rings ]

[ Car alarm blaring, horn honking ]

[ Carnival music plays ]

[ Cellphone rings ]

[ Chain jingles ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Clanging resumes ]

[ Classical piano music plays ]

[ Clears throat ]

[ Clears throat ] Mr. Hibbert?

[ Clears throat ] Yeah.

[ Clears throat, sniffs ]

[ Click, beep ]

[ Click, buzzing ]

[ Click, music stops ]

[ Clipboard snaps shut ]

[ Coin rattling, bell dings ]

[ Coins clinking ]

[ Coins clinking, men shouting and laughing ]

[ Coughs ]

[ Crashes ]

[ Crickets chirp ]

[ Crickets chirping ]

[ Crickets chirping, dog barking in distance ]

[ Crowd murmuring ]

[ Crying ] We can't afford any ice.

[ Dance music plays ]

[ Deep voice ] A single room, please.

[ Deep voice ] Thank you very much.

[ Deep voice ] Uh, I'd like a room, please.

[ Dialing ]

[ Dialing telephone ]

[ Dog barks ]

[ Door closes ]

[ Door creaks ]

[ Door handle jiggles ]

[ Door hinge squeaks ]

[ Door hinges squeak ]

[ Door opens ]

[ Door opens, closes ]

[ Door slams ]

[ Door squeaks ]

[ Door squeaks, slams ]

[ Electricity surges ]

[ Elevator bell dings ]

[ Elevator bells dinging ]

[ Emergency brake engages ]

[ Engine revs ]

[ Engine roars ]

[ Engine turns over, tires screech ]

[ Evil laughter ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

[ Fabric ripping ]

[ Fence cracks ]

[ Flatline ]

[ Footsteps approach ]

[ Four gunshots ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Gate closes, steady rattling ]

[ Gears grinding ]

[ Gearshift clicks, engine turns off ]

[ Glass cutting ]

[ Glass shatters ]

[ Groans ]

[ Growling ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Gun cocks ]

[ Guns cocking ]

[ Gunshot ]

[ Gunshots ]

[ Gunshots continue ]

[ Gunshots in distance ]

[ Hangers clanging, falling ]

[ Hinges squeak ]

[ Horn honking continuously ]

[ Jiggling ]

[ Keys jingle ]

[ Knife clicks ]

[ Knock on door ]

[ Knocking ] Mr. Hibbert?

[ Laughing ]

[ Laughing ] Gay?

[ Laughing ] Gay.

[ Laughing ] Of course.

[ Laughing ] Oh. Oh, that.

[ Laughing ] Okay.

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ] You

[ Laughter ]

[ Leaves rustling ]

[ Lightning crashes ]

[ lndistinct conversations ]

[ lndistinct talking on police radio ]

[ lndistinct talking on radio ]

[ lndistinct yelling ]

[ lntercom beeps ]

[ Locks snap ]

[ Loud slap ]

[ Lynn moaning, honking stops ]

[ Man talking indistinctly on radio ]

[ Men singing doo wop ] ♫ Ooh ooh ooh ♫

[ Metal clanking ]

[ Metal clanking and squeaking ]

[ Metal clinks ]

[ Metal door squeaking ]

[ Metal jingling ]

[ Metal rattling ]

[ Money crinkles ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Nagel grunting ]

[ Nagel moaning pleasurably and panting ]

[ Negatively ] Ooh.

[ Nelson screaming ]

[ Normal voice ] I'd like a single room, please.

[ Normal voice ] l I'd like a room, please.

[ Oddly disguised voice ] Hey! What's going on down there?

[ Owl hoots ]

[ Panting ]

[ Rumbling ]

[ Sea gulls cry, fog horn blows ]

[ Shoes sc**** ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ] Look, l I can't talk long.

[ Sighs ] Oh, I wish I could do this face to face,

[ Sighs ] You'll have to forgive me.

[ Silence ]

[ Singing continues ]

[ Singsong voice ] Lynn?

[ Siren wails ]

[ Sirens wailing ]

[ Sniffles ]

[ Sniffs ]

[ Sobbing ]

[ Sobbing continues ]

[ Sobs ]

[ Sobs ] I'm sorry.

[ Spike cracking, killer grunting ]

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

[ Tape rewinding ]

[ Telephone rings ]

[ Telephone rings in distance ]

[ Thud ]

[ Thud, clink ]

[ Thuds ]

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Thunder rumbles, lightning crashes ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Tires screeching ]

[ Tires squeal ]

[ Train approaching ]

[ Twig snaps ]

[ Up tempo jazz music plays on radio ]

[ Vehicle approaches ]

[ Volume increases ]

[ Vomiting ]

[ Wailing continues ]

[ Wailing stops ]

[ Whirring ]

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Whistles ]

[ Whistles softly ]

[ Whistling ]

[ Wires rattling ]

[ Wood thuds ]

[ Yawns ]

[ Yelling continues ]

♫ Ahab's pissed, he once missed ♫

♫ Bom ba i o bom ♫

♫ Bum bum doo ba doo wa ooh ♫

♫ Doo ba ♫

♫ Gangster girl ♫

♫ Gangster girl... ♫

♫ He's no ichthyologist ♫

♫ I'll get it back from you someday ♫

♫ I'm gonna be the president of the company ♫

♫ It's a happy day for me ♫

♫ Oh, run away, turn away ♫

♫ Ooh Doo doo doo ♫

♫ Ooh, gangster girl, gangster girl ♫

♫ Run away ♫

♫ Run away, turn away ♫

♫ Stop or I'll shoot ♫

♫ Wa ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa ooh ooooooh ♫

♫ When you get out of jail ♫

♫ Yeah, yeah ♫

♫ You stole my heart away ♫

♫ Your love has got my guns firing ♫

The Wrong Guy
"The Wrong Guy" is a hilarious comedy film that was released in 1997. Directed by David Steinberg, this movie takes the audience on a wild ride filled with slapstick humor, mistaken identities, and a hapless protagonist. In "The Wrong Guy," the lead role is portrayed by the talented Canadian comedian Dave Foley. He plays the character of Nelson Hibbert, an ordinary man who just wants to make it through the day at his dull office job. However, his mundane life takes an unexpected turn when he walks into his boss's office and witnesses a horrific crime scene. Believing that he will be framed for the murder, Nelson decides to go on the run, unwittingly becoming a fugitive. Throughout the film, Nelson finds himself in one comical mishap after another, constantly being pursued by the police who are convinced he is the culprit. From hitchhiking with an eccentric driver played by Joe Flaherty to being mistaken for a renowned motivational speaker played by Colm Feore, Nelson's misadventures keep the audience in stitches. Meanwhile, he falls in love with a ditsy but lovable waitress named Lynn Holden, played by the delightful Jennifer Tilly. "The Wrong Guy" offers a unique comedic style blending witty dialogue with physical comedy. Dave Foley's impeccable comedic timing, coupled with his deadpan expressions, make his character's predicament all the more humorous. His performance showcases his immense talent as a comedian and proves why he was a perfect fit for the role. The supporting cast of "The Wrong Guy" is equally remarkable, with notable appearances by some well-known comedic talents. Kevin McDonald, of "The Kids in the Hall" fame, plays the role of Stew, Nelson's unsuspecting coworker. Stew's dim-witted nature adds an additional layer of humor to the film as he unknowingly becomes involved in Nelson's escapades. Ellen DeGeneres also has a small yet memorable role in the movie as the police officer pursuing Nelson. Her comedic skills shine through as she tries to apprehend the bumbling protagonist. In one of the film's most side-splitting scenes, Nelson mistakenly believes that she is trying to seduce him while she is actually engaged in a stakeout. "The Wrong Guy" is a comedy that will have you laughing from beginning to end. The clever writing, brilliant performances, and zany situations combine to create a hilarious cinematic experience. You can listen to the sounds from "The Wrong Guy" here. Whether it's the uproarious laughter of the audience during a slapstick scene or the catchy soundtrack that adds to the comedic atmosphere, these sounds will transport you right into the heart of the film. Simply click on the link to play or download these sounds and relive the laughter at your leisure. "The Wrong Guy" has become a cult classic over the years, beloved by comedy enthusiasts for its offbeat humor and memorable characters. It is a film that has endured the test of time, continuing to entertain audiences long after its release. So, if you're in the mood for a hilarious comedy that will keep you entertained from start to finish, "The Wrong Guy" is definitely a film worth watching. Sit back, relax, and prepare to laugh uncontrollably as Nelson Hibbert's misadventures unfold before your eyes. And don't forget to play and download the sounds from the film to enhance your viewing experience!
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