Bill & Ted Face the Music Edit

A dam broke and the songs just kept comin' and comin'?

A definitive one, Mr. Armstrong.

A minimum of two to three,

A most extraordinary band...

A pleasure, gentlemen.

A sneak peek at the world premiere

About the music?

About the music. They just wanna talk to you.

According to her father,

Actually, we have to go, too.

After you failed couples therapy,

Ah, awesome, dude, thanks.

Ah, that is good, dude.

Ah.

Ah. Funny story. Please.

Ah. That's funny, 'cause for us

Ah. Well, the Sahara Desert

All I ever see them do is sit around, listen to music.

All of time is gonna fold in on itself, dude.

All of which proves that it is imperative

All right, all right, all right. All right.

All right, we gotta keep going further into the future.

All through...

All wanna welcome you back...

All you need to do is go in the quantum superposition

Alls we need is the song.

Alone?

Along with my beautiful wife, Elizabeth,

And after 7:17 p.m.?

And became my mom.

And Dave Grohl did!

And Elizabeth.

And everyone in the band will unite...

And everything they could possibly need,

And finally realized you are losers.

And guess what else?

And guess what?

And he's outside right now calling the cops.

And here's why.

And I am very, very, very sorry.

And I can't say how chuffed we are about it.

And I suppose it just bloody well rubbed off!

And I'm drinking way too much.

And I'm not sure how much longer

And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan.

And I'm tired, dude.

And I've been wanting to meet you my whole life.

And I've never even heard of MP 46.

And if it's not too late, Death...

And if you don't go back and change it...

And in doing so, they realized...

And it worked.

And Missy became Mom.

And Mozart, and Ling Lun, and Grom.

And my beautiful wife, Joanna, and our daughter, Thea,

And no.

And now it's time...

And now she's marrying Ted's little brother,

And now we've been alone for two years

And now, Death!

And our dads, alone now, were trying harder and harder.

And our daughter, Billie...

And party on, dudes.

And save reality!

And save reality.

And save reality.

And saves reality as we know it.

And sent them all through time and space

And so, it wasn't so much

And specifically requested your presence, so...

And start practicing.

And take notice of the dynamic.

And Ted his own uncle.

And Ted's hearts,

And thanks!

And that your wives actually are princesses.

And the band is ready to play.

And the band needs you.

And then what?

And they didn't come all this way for this.

And they're unemployed.

And think about our fans, dude.

And this was probably the last.

And time and space will cease to exist.

And unite the world!

And we had to start with you, dude.

And we just kind of put stuff together.

And we're gonna go get lives and our wives back!

And we're in Hell.

And we're Wyld Stallyns!

And with that beautiful thought in mind,

And you didn't do anything about it?

And you didn't go to Heaven and Hell.

And you know why?

And...

Anyone know where MP 46 is?

Anyone know where MP 46 is?

Anything is possible.

Apologies are given.

Are Jo and Liz here?

Are you dead yet?

Are you guys okay?

Are you okay?

Are you ready...

Are you saying...

Are you?

As am I. We haven't time traveled

As much as I disliked those previous us's,

At 7:17 p.m.

At home.

At MP 46,

At MP 46.

At some point, we must've written that song.

At the Grand Canyon.

Aw, thanks, T.

Basically, all time and space are about to end

Be role models to your daughters.

Be...

Beat your heads against the wall for 25 years

Because how do I know you won't send

Because I took two so called "friends" back up

Because it made me want to rock.

Because it's impossible.

Because this is where it happened.

Before the chorus in Too Pale to Cry...

Before we go.

Bill and I have to keep going till...

Bill and Ted are dead. Did it work?

Bill and Ted!

Bill and Ted.

Bill, Bill, Bill, you didn't time travel.

Bill, look!

Bill, Ted,

Bill, Ted, seriously, we can't take that song back.

Bill, we gotta go back and talk with Liz and Jo.

Bill!

Bill?

Billie.

Bob and Wendy will totally understand.

Bogus.

Both cyclic and separating. In other words...

But do you understand

But everything's gonna be different.

But he appears to be having

But how are we gonna get him to be in a band

But how?

But how're you doin'?

But I do like this other me even more.

But I wanna stay here and dance.

But I'm going to. A lot.

But in other parts...

But instead of "we," say "I" in the sentence.

But isn't that the problem?

But it's also the solution.

But it's most alarming.

But the band fell apart.

But the problem was, the harder Dads tried...

But the universe they were told

But they bolted.

But this is by far

But usually, with couples therapy,

But we actually do have the song now, so...

But we have, like, four and a half minutes.

But we just found out something way worse.

But we know we're gonna at some point,

But we're all here in this present.

But we're not making it worse, right?

But we're walking the walk

But you do!

But, dude, what're we gonna play?

But, you know, that's cool.

By Bunk Johnson and King Oliver...

By putting together samples for 'em.

By traveling all throughout time.

Bye!

Called MP 46,

Can I come with you?

Can I help you, young ladies?

Can I just say it is an honor to be in your presence, dude?

Can no longer take life.

Can someone please tell me what the hell is happening?

Can't do it. Shoot myself.

Can't get away from us, Bill and Ted.

Catch you later, Ted.

Change it!

Check one, two.

Cheers!

Clap your hands now!

Clara Rockmore.

Classical tautological causal circuit.

Come forward.

Come on in.

Come on, Mozart.

Come on, Robot!

Come on!

Come on! You again? I said no.

Could be the nexus point that brings

Counterintuitive ideas over the years,

Dad would be so mad at you.

Dad, I've told you a thousand times,

Dad, slow down.

Dad?

Dads,

Dads, we have an idea.

Dads, we think you should wait outside.

Dads!

Dads!

Dads! MP 46.

Damn it!

Darling, you don't even drink.

Daughters are...

Dave Grohl came back this week.

Dave Grohl!

Deac, Deac. Look at that.

Deacon his own father in law

Death, the reason we came here is 'cause

Death.

Definitely.

Dennis Caleb McCoy. That's the full name.

Dennis McCoy.

Dennis.

Depends on your perspective.

Did the judge change his mind?

Did you find a reality where we're all happy together?

Did you say,

Dig?

Distributing instruments all throughout time?

Do we know you?

Do we need individual us's

Do you believe us?

Do you know who I am?

Do you think that this is what they had in mind?

Don't fudge with me.

Don't go. 'Cause you're not gonna find one.

Don't make sense till the end of the story.

Don't worry. I won't let that happen.

Dr. Wood?

Dude, did you know they felt that way?

Dude, dude, I told you

Dude, I got a very bad feeling about this.

Dude, I just thought of something.

Dude, I miss Liz already.

Dude, I think we came too early.

Dude, look at where we live!

Dude, the future totally sent a killer robot after us.

Dude, they totally hate us.

Dude, this is transcendent.

Dude, this is way worse than we thought.

Dude, we gotta remember.

Dude, we have no power!

Dude, we have to have Jimi Hendrix.

Dude, we need this guy to laser us

Dude, we totally made it worse.

Dude, what do we do?

Dude, what now?

Dude, where are we?

Dude, with all due respect,

Dude, you seeing what I'm seeing?

Dude, you were playing 40 minute bass solos.

Dude!

Dude! Dude!

Dude! We got 11 minutes.

Dude.

Dude.

Dude...

Dudes, the booth is obviously a tunnel to the quantum realm.

Dudes...

Each is entangled with infinite futures.

Eight, seven...

Eileen we haven't heard from for several years.

Elizabeth?

Epistemologically speaking,

Even though those loser us's tried to tell us

Ever.

Everybody!

Exactly, gentlemen.

Exactly.

Excellent to each other.

Except, won't that be stealing?

Excuse me, Kid Cudi. I don't mean to be rude,

Excuse me, Mr. Cudi, sir?

Face The Music.

Face The Music.

Fail.

Failure. Failure. Failure. Failure.

Fascinating.

Faster, you know? Yeah! Now, D.

Fifty eight minutes.

First, she was our babysitter when we were ten.

Five days a week.

Five, six, five, six, seven, eight!

Flashes in the pans!

Follow us!

For all the times you've been there for me.

For an album that was all bass.

For the longest time.

For what? We're fine, dude. Let us go!

For your first dance,

For... murdering family.

Forty seven minutes.

Four five five. Five one...

Freeze, Preston/Logan.

Freeze, Preston/Logan.

From the future, did you?

From the very, very bottom of I

From things we like.

Future dude! You're back?

Gentlemen?

Get him!

Get outta here!

Get real jobs.

Get to everyone throughout all time.

Get to where they're going next and wait.

Get to work.

Girls, you're not here to back us.

Glad you dug it, Billie.

Go for it, dude.

Go make it happen.

Go, go, go!

Go, go, go!

Good luck, Dads.

Good luck, my excellent friends.

Good, dude.

Great Leader?

Great Ones?

Greetings, my excellent friends.

Greetings, my excellent friends.

Grom. You're gonna love her.

Guys, seriously,

Hang in there, Ted.

Have you come to sue me again?

He broke into Dave Grohl's house!

He did kill us.

He dug that jive, hey?

He kills us, dude.

He looks miserable, dude.

He said he'd give me $6,400 for the Les Paul.

Hello, friends and loved ones.

Hello!

Hello. Excuse me. Hi. Miss... Miss Grom...

Helpless dying breath.

Here it comes, dude.

Here you go. Instruments!

Here?

Here.

Here's a real idea for you two.

Here's the answer.

Here's what happened, Bill.

Herr Mozart. Now we're talkin'.

Hey, Dad, by the way, Gramps was wrong.

Hey, Death.

Hey, how's it goin', dude?

Hey, so, do you mind

Hey, what's that doohickey?

Hey, you wanna be in our band?

Hey! He's not worth it, dude. We gotta go.

Hey.

Hey. Hey. Yeah, okay, friends.

Hi, Ted.

Hi.

Hmm?

Hold on!

Honestly, I wouldn't have thought we had it in us.

Hopeless,

Hopeless, helpless dying breath.

How can the song happen right here?

How do you feel about being

How does a song save reality?

How far into our future do you think we gotta go?

How is just listening to a song...

How is that stealing

How that might sound strange to your wives?

How to unite the whole world with it.

How was therapy?

How would you like to be a key part of this epochal song?

How?

How'd you like our song?

How're we gonna find them, dude?

How're we gonna get outta here?

How're you doin'?

How's it goin', Bill and Ted?

How's it goin', Dads?

How's it goin', dude?

How's it goin', girls?

How's it goin'...

Huh?

Humanity into rhythm and harmony.

I already said goodbye to the girls.

I am.

I and Bill love you and Joanna.

I and Ted totally love and worship you

I can't shoot you. You have the song.

I can't. I'm a failure.

I could not agree more.

I don't even deserve to live, you know?

I don't know, dude.

I don't know, dude.

I don't know.

I don't know. I always seem to act weird with myself.

I don't know. Let's go back and ask those wise old us's.

I don't know. Seems like textbook entanglement to me.

I don't think you're quite getting this.

I feel gratitude. Gratitude.

I feel like I never really knew you, Ted.

I feel so bad for 'em.

I gave them a chance

I got it!

I got this.

I gotta go, Mom.

I have a feeling things are about to change

I have been demoted down here

I have bested you again.

I have ever heard.

I have to admit, Bill. You were right.

I hope it still works.

I just need to tell you...

I just wanna say thank you, Bill,

I know it wasn't your choice.

I know that's strange.

I know! I was self taught.

I know. And she's a she.

I lasered your daughters.

I like these us's.

I love you, Elizabeth.

I love you, Joanna.

I mean, Electric Ladyland, what can we even say?

I mean, how hard can it be to rock with that?

I mean, it is great to feel loved.

I mean, it's just them, and they're all alone!

I mean, the dude is the most rad bass player, like, ever.

I mean, the last three bars

I mean, The Lonely Soul Surfer

I mean, we love 'em.

I mean, we're a couple of couples, right?

I must say,

I must say, your understanding

I never truly opened myself up to you.

I really appreciate you doing this.

I really want this to work for both of us.

I remember what he said. Every word.

I suppose.

I think I am.

I think it's a lunar eclipse.

I think so, dude.

I think so, dude.

I was hoping

I was in the groove!

I was wrong. I mean, you're here.

I was Wyld Stallyns.

I wasn't talking to you, Bill.

I went into Cyrus Adler Music yesterday.

I'd like to recommend we see each other

I'd love to spend the last part

I'll leave you to it?

I'll never forget you, Bill.

I'll never forget you, Sir Bill.

I'll shoot this at Bill.

I'm a little bit nervous

I'm aware of that.

I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire.

I'm confused!

I'm Dennis Caleb McCoy. I am so...

I'm done with him. I'm done with both of them.

I'm gonna do one.

I'm Kelly.

I'm looking for your fathers. Have they been here?

I'm not sure if...

I'm really sorry

I'm so sorry, Great Leader.

I'm so sorry! Goodbye, cruel world!

I'm sorry for the times I let you down, Bill.

I'm sorry, is this the right day?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

In 77 minutes and 25 seconds.

In a most outstanding way.

In a way, yes.

In Barstow, California, for 40 people,

In case you're wondering, I'm essentially an infinite me.

In Hell.

In more than two decades.

In order to play it.

In search of a happy life with us.

In seven minutes and 25 seconds.

Insane. We've never seen left hand technique like that.

Instead of trying to steal it from us?

Is he playing Hopscotch by himself?

Is humorously ironic.

Is it a song?

Is looking right at it.

Is that you love a song that I wrote in my future?

Is that...

Is the most bodacious.

Is there something you would like to say to Death?

Is this Fillmore '66?

Is this too close?

Is write the greatest song ever written.

Is.

It depends on when we think we wrote that song.

It is us.

It is. It's also about the end of space and time.

It just means one couple.

It must be very disappointing.

It was a whole new level of eloquence.

It was bad.

It was cool when you said, "Let's rock,"

It was everyone playing it together.

It was you the whole time. We just didn't see it.

It was your idea, too!

It was, in parts.

It went okay. Yeah.

It will only take a second, dude.

It worked!

It worked.

It'll be fine, Ted.

It'll help keep track of the time in San Dimas.

It's a great honor to meet you all.

It's a little on the dark side,

It's almost like they'd all have to hear it

It's blues, but also...

It's called...

It's Dave Grohl's!

It's Dennis.

It's Dennis. Hi.

It's getting worse and worse here, if you were wondering.

It's good to be back.

It's good to see you again, Mr. Death, sir.

It's great.

It's in your hands now.

It's just that the job that they've been given, it is...

It's no wonder you went down in the tubes.

It's not like your generation's done that great.

It's only, like, five minutes ago.

It's the answer to everything.

It's the future!

It's very intoxicating.

It's working!

It's you two.

It's you!

It's your only chance to get our wives back.

It's, uh...

Jimi, for the win!

Jimi.

Joanna, Elizabeth,

Joanna, would you or Elizabeth like to respond to that?

Joanna!

Just 'cause you two couldn't come up with a great song...

Just showed up in San Dimas, Mother.

Kelly,

Kelly!

Later, Dennis.

Let us welcome you, one and all

Let's be conservative. Say, two years?

Let's dance, Freaky Deaky.

Let's find the girls.

Let's get practicing.

Let's go say hello to ourselves and get that song.

Let's go, dude!

Let's pack up.

Let's rock!

Let's rock!

Let's try five this time.

Like this!

Like, anywhere, right? Like, all throughout time?

Like, no exaggeration, literally unite the world.

Ling Lun says she's the greatest drummer of all time.

Listen, you didn't see a scary looking robot

Liz and Jo were visited by other thems from the future

Liz is right.

Logan?

Losers! Has beens!

Louis Armstrong's, like, 65 years old.

Madam, you need to see this.

Madam.

Madam. Madam! We have to go. It's not safe to be in here.

Make it better, not worse!

Make some noise!

Make things you like.

Many on the council believe that it is, in fact,

Marvelous!

Maybe 'cause it's not our song!

Maybe we gotta go all the way to the end to find out, Ted.

Maybe we just haven't written it yet.

Maybe we're still gonna.

Me, too!

Might seem at all strange to your wives?

Might we have a word with you?

Miss Grom, Miss Ling Lun, and Mr. Cudi,

Mistakes were made.

Mmm hmm.

Most indubitably.

Most of whom were there only because it was $2 taco night,

Most... non triumphant.

Mozart.

Mr. Armstrong, Mr. Hendrix, Herr Mozart,

Mr. Jimi Hendrix, meet Mr. Louis Armstrong.

Must...

My bad.

My father believed that the song

My guess is that my mom's emissary

My mom, who overreacts about everything

My mother just had me killed.

My name is Dennis Caleb McCoy, and...

My name is Dennis. Dennis McCoy.

Nineteen minutes.

No idea, that's the point!

No one but you could play!

No one leaves the building.

No way!

No way.

No, Death. Not at all.

No, Monterey Pop, '67.

No, no, no.

No, seriously, Uncle Ted,

No, we actually are princesses.

No!

No!

No! No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. I guess, go.

No. No, I'm not gonna tell you where I am.

No. No.

No. Not at all. Why?

No. We just need to talk to you, Death.

Not at all.

Not long before we were born,

Not only did it not unite the world,

Not only was it wearing on them and on the family...

Not to mention making my dad his own son.

Not yet.

Not...

Nothing is working.

Now alls we gotta do

Now alls we gotta do is figure out

Now there's no song.

Now we'll wait for those other us's

Now you got no choice, Robot.

Now, take the song!

Now, um, did we hear you say something about

Nurse!

Of course, Jo.

Of course.

Of our dire circumstance is most impressive.

Of our newest sonic creation.

Of the information he was acting on.

Of this session with your wives.

Officer Deacon Logan.

Oh, and we're back.

Oh, dude, that's us!

Oh, dude, we are totally living in that van.

Oh, hello!

Oh, hello. Hello, everyone.

Oh, hey.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Oh, maybe because you guys left us

Oh, my God, what's happening?

Oh, never mind.

Oh, no, no.

Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. They're gonna do the thing.

Oh, shh. Your dad used to call me that.

Oh, Ted! Even if we knew

Oh, thank you, B.

Oh, this is exactly what we don't need right now.

Oh, well...

Oh, well...

Oh, what? No.

Oh, when the saints

Oh, when the saints go marching in

Oh, when the saints go marching in

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. This is way worse than the Christmas incident.

Oh, you did, all right.

Oh, you're not taking it back, Curly.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. "We love them."

Oh. Cool.

Oh. That's Dennis Caleb McCoy.

Oh. Um...

Oh. Well, isn't he still mad at you guys?

Oh...

Oh...

Oh...

Oh...

Oh... I...

Oh... Oh, no.

Okay, great.

Okay, guys, let's go!

Okay, I have to sit down.

Okay, let's go!

Okay, let's stop for a moment

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. All right, then.

Okay. It's the "we" part.

Okay. Let's go, Dennis McCoy.

Okay. Maybe...

Okay. Okay. The girls said C major.

Okay. See, contrary to what some have argued,

Okay. Thank you, guys.

Okay. What about us leaving you?

Older yous from the future are just about to show up

On Amazing Grace.

On it, dude.

On what happens...

Once Bill and I were knighted,

One eight two eight...

One hundred thirteen beats per minute.

One last thing.

One month ago,

One song did all this?

One, two, three, four!

One, two, three, four.

Only to save reality as we know it.

Oops.

Or is it a Wilsonian loop

Our sincerest apologies that we're here, great musicians.

Our wives have been gone for two years

Our wives just traveled through multiple realities.

Outstanding!

Over here, dude.

Part One.

People seemed to be in their music.

Perfect, dude.

Played by a Mr. Jimi Hendrix.

Please enjoy the first three movements of...

Please excuse us, Mr. Armstrong, sir.

Please, Mother, Dad said Preston/Logan

Please.

Poppycock!

Potentially, a very serious problem.

Preston?

Preston/Logan!

Preston/Logan.

Princesses.

Pull yourself together.

Queen Elizabeth

Read me the number for the infinite, dude.

Ready, B?

Ready, Bill?

Ready, T?

Ready, T.

Ready, Ted.

Reality will collapse,

Really bad.

Recorded at 7:17 p.m.

Right back at you, Billie boyo.

Right.

Right. Okay.

Right. Right.

Right. Those older us's they referred to are outside.

Rufus.

San Dimas 700 years ago, 7:17 p.m.

San Dimas, make some noise!

Say no more. On it.

See?

Shoot 'em.

Shoot us, Robot!

Shoot us!

Shoot us.

Sincerely sorry.

Six nine...

Six nine...

Six...

So let's work with that.

So long, I guess.

So long.

So that when our dads get back here

So until 7:17 p.m...

So, do you understand why this situation

So, if that is why you're here...

So, now I am allowed to get close to you? Hmm?

So, question...

So, that is Amazing Grace

So, this is some kind of error in our holographic dual field?

So, uh, why do you both have English accents?

So, what are you sayin'?

So, what you're all saying

So?

Some kind of nervous breakdown.

Some serious buga khoomei.

Somehow dead robot named Dennis Caleb McCoy.

Somehow.

Sorry, not sorry.

Sound good?

Sounds good, Ted.

Station!

Station.

Stop!

Stop!

Sure to be another real doozy from the Wyld Stallyns.

Sure. That's a word.

Sweet!

Talk to the hand.

Tallyho!

Tambourine is not as easy as it looks.

Ted and I have known Missy in different capacities

Ted, I told you

Ted, is there something you feel

Ted, of course! That's how we're gonna unite 'em.

Ted, seriously, slow down on the vodka, dude.

Ted, that totally worked!

Ted, they're right. They're us.

Ted, we had to have written that song.

Ted, what if it wasn't just one song?

Ted, why were you acting so weird with yourself, dude?

Ted, you're right, dude!

Ted! You have had many

Ted.

Ten, nine...

Thank you, Dennis.

Thank you, wise old us's.

Thanks, Dad!

Thanks, demons.

Thanks, Kelly.

That brings the entire world into rhythm and harmony.

That did not go well.

That I lasered you all.

That is a good question, dude.

That is not lunar, you guys.

That is our primary activity,

That is such a relief!

That is unexpected.

That lick you played was the cat's meow, man.

That makes sense.

That means we gotta do something

That second sound check where they did that riff

That there is the center of space and time.

That was horrible, dude.

That was not a song.

That was the highlight of your shows.

That we decided, as families,

That went terrible, dude.

That Which Binds Us Through Time...

That will affect all time and space.

That will bring the new epoch.

That will unite the entire world.

That you write the song

That's atrocious!

That's correct, but I need to stay.

That's great. 'Cause it is the end of space and time.

That's my fault.

That's tonight,

That's totally why we're here.

That's true.

That's us, dude.

That's what my dad always said.

That's why we gotta find the song, dude.

That's why we gotta keep working, dude.

The booth is gone.

The Chemical, Physical, and Biological Nature of Love...

The counterintuitivest of them all, dude!

The critics hated it.

The death of Bill and Ted

The future.

The Great Turntable is tipping.

The infinite button.

The less interested

The losers we just saw we were.

The most amazing song...

The myth of Ling Lun turns out to be true, T.

The only adults in your families?

The only ones with actual jobs?

The prophecy tells us...

The song that made the difference.

The song that unites the world.

The thing is, they're right, Bill.

The throat singing, I mean,

The truth is, I looked at you and saw myself.

The unravelling has already begun.

The watch says sometimes things

The wedding song was most luminous.

Thea and I were gonna help our dads with their music

Thea! Billie!

Thea.

Then we both invited her to the prom

Then, once we get the song,

There are infinite pasts.

There! Oh, Jo.

There's no way we'd ever get there in time.

There's one more thing we need to do

These other us's don't have the song.

They are.

They are.

They didn't find one!

They totally love us in the future, dude.

They were gonna bring together...

They were told they were gonna write a song

They were very nice. Very nice. Good group.

They wouldn't remember that this time.

They're 24, they live at home

They're all happening

They're in a tribulation, aren't they?

They're nice boys.

They're of any use, but...

They're princesses.

They're that way.

Things are about to get a whole lot better.

Things got so good with Liz and Jo

This can't possibly be the song, dude.

This ends now. The lies, the delusions.

This happy event would seem to make

This is a disaster, T.

This is bad.

This is bad. This is really happening.

This is Jimi Hendrix, Louis Armstrong...

This is MP 46? It makes no sense.

This is super important, Dr. Wood.

This is the story of our most excellent dads.

This time, we were expecting you.

This was my dad's. He'd want you to have it.

This was probably the first time you saw 'em.

Those are the worst us's yet, dude!

Those Who Rock.

Three four five five...

Time?

Time?

Time.

To be living in our van.

To get it out to the world.

To go back and change everything.

To kill us if we didn't have the song.

To make things right.

To muster some compassion for them.

To our lives getting a whole lot better.

To really dig the groove of the quantum realm,

To start summering in medieval England.

To take instruments to infinite places?

To take the fall five years ago.

To take you on a trip

To this most joyous of occasions!

To those who rock

To time travel again, to be honest.

To us. But I bet you can't say no to this man.

To your futures.

Too Pale to Cry.

Totally aware of that, babe.

Totally thought he came back next week.

Totally, dude.

Trying to write the song that will unite the world.

Twenty five years ago,

Two nine nine...

Two one eight.

Two years forward was clearly not enough.

Two years later, she married my dad

Two, one.

Uh huh.

Uh, Bill and Ted? I saved these.

Uh, excuse me, Mr. Jimi Hendrix?

Uh, threatened by the thought of losing your...

Uh, we're so sorry.

Uh...

Uh...

Um...

Um... Ted, can you say the same thing,

Unite the world and save reality, dude.

Universal wave function is,

Unless their dads come up with a song by 7:17 p.m.

Very funny, whoever you are.

Wait, is that new?

Wait, you're time travelling again?

Wait! No, must expiate guilt.

Wait.

Wait. I have a name.

Wait. We're playing Those Who Rock?

Wait. What?

Wait. You have the song?

Wait...

Wait...

Was actually starting to unravel.

Was the most underrated album in 1998.

Watch this!

Way back in 1989.

We are now finally able

We are running out of time.

We are those who rock

We are those who rock

We are those who rock

We can keep going on like this.

We can't possibly remember.

We can't write music.

We can't. We gotta get back to the present, like, now.

We could help 'em out, you know?

We could put together an actual band.

We definitely did.

We did it!

We did!

We did.

We did.

We didn't want to sue you, dude.

We don't have the whole story yet.

We don't know how to tell you this.

We get 'em to play along.

We got the song!

We gotta go save Billie and Thea.

We have a destiny to fulfill.

We have a problem, gentlemen.

We have to fix this.

We have to go get them.

We have to play a song at some place

We just saw ourselves two years in the future.

We just wanted to help our dads.

We know.

We love you guys.

We love you guys.

We need to hear the song

We need to talk to you.

We only discovered this recently, but without it,

We pulled them out of their lives to be here with us.

We realized we're happiest in this reality.

We really did love playing with you, dude.

We really did rock, didn't we?

We should've gotten older Louis.

We thought it was cute, Gramps.

We thought this was about the music.

We totally forgot you were coming.

We were born in 1410. 1408.

We wish to present you with a matrimonial offering.

We'll go back home to right before we left.

We'll see you at home, okay?

We're back!

We're gonna fix it.

We're gonna go talk to Death.

We're gonna take you into our dads' studio

We're good!

We're here to back you.

We're never gonna make our flight.

We're not fudging with you, sir.

We're not gonna do it.

We're not sure if this is going to be

We're out of options, Kel.

We're pretty sure it might.

We're sorry for how things went between us, Death.

We're sorry, Dads.

We're sorry.

We're still your hugest fans.

We're taking it back!

We're your band.

We've been waiting for years

We've met. He killed us.

We've spent our whole life

Welcome to...

Well,

Well, but, you know, we're here,

Well, Dads, this is the band we put together for you.

Well, definitely.

Well, guess what?

Well, I disagree with that completely!

Well, I feel sorry for you, then.

Well, I want to be in that number

Well, I'm trying to save the world, too, Mother.

Well, if it isn't Little Bill and Little Ted.

Well, if that's true, alls we gotta do is

Well, if we haven't written it yet,

Well, it has been tough for us.

Well, maybe someday when you're the Great Leader,

Well, okay.

Well, seems to me your

Well, thanks for coming to get us.

Well, the young ladies picked me up in 1922, Jim.

Well, then, give them a chance.

Well, then, I should help you instead of criticizing you.

Well, they just weren't ready

Well, we're trying to help 'em, too.

Well, when your wives suggested couples therapy,

Well, you know, we're dead.

Well, you're the one who lost his wife, Ted.

Well...

Well...

Well...

Well... It's... Maybe something like...

What about a tambourine?

What about dancing? I'm a very gifted dancer.

What are we gonna do, B?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? You totally ran away from us.

What can we even say?

What did you mean

What did you think of the hook in Boogie Down With Doctor D?

What have you got to say for yourselves?

What if after we wrote it and saved the universe,

What is it, Dads?

What is it, Ted?

What is that, a robot?

What kind of title is that?

What makes us think we can write it in, like, 75 minutes?

What time is it, dude?

What were you guys even thinking?

What were you guys even thinking?

What you got there, Lou?

What you're looking at is the original phone booth...

What, what?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What're we gonna do?

What're we gonna tell people to play?

What're you doin' in my house?

What's happening?

What's that?

What's the word you used, young ladies?

Whatever the hell that means.

Whatever... We just listen to stuff.

When did you get so excellent on theremin?

When she was a senior and we were freshmen.

When you say 1408, you mean the year...

Where are our dads?

Where are they?

Where are they?

Where they could be happy with you!

Where we were supposed to play,

Where were you thinking of going?

Where you end up...

Which is actually the past?

Which is in your past.

Which means we have it in us, dude.

Which supports both that we're putting together

Which they thought they had done

Which we clearly utterly failed at.

While you stay here and wait for the scary looking robot,

Who are you guys?

Who are you two?

Who gave them a phone booth

Who is it?

Who is that on guitar?

Who should not have gone back up.

Who's in the band.

Who's not technically a historical figure.

Who's somebody he has heard of?

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa! Kid Cudi!

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Why are you guys in prison?

Why can't we just go to the future

Why don't you go over there and rehearse your dance?

Why don't you go write it yourselves

Why haven't you taken the song back to San Dimas?

Why would we be playing Open Mic Night at 6:15 p.m.

Why, if it isn't the Wyld Stallyns.

Will be looking for them here.

Will save reality as we know it,

Willamina "Billie" S. Logan, and Thea "Theodora" Preston.

With multiple realities.

With open arms.

With people he hasn't even heard of?

With that other me,

With the song that will unite the world,

With their hit single...

With this.

Without the song, there is no after 7:17 p.m.

Would you consider rejoining...

Would you...

Wow!

Wow.

Wyld Stallyns played a concert

Wyld Stallyns?

Yeah, 'cause you make bad choices!

Yeah, but now it appears

Yeah, but ultimately sui generis.

Yeah, but you're gonna go.

Yeah, desperate, pathetic, lying losers.

Yeah, I don't even know, dude.

Yeah, I wish there was some way

Yeah, maybe you just listen a little,

Yeah, rock!

Yeah, thanks, Chief Logan!

Yeah, that's a robot in Hell.

Yeah, they don't want anything to do with you!

Yeah, time was folding in on itself.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah, we really wanted to help you out with this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Till your music unites the world.

Yeah, you do! You gotta get over that, dude.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! And save our marriages.

Yeah?

Yeah? Watch what happens when we don't.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. And that we are doing so

Yeah. And you have real good reason to, Jo.

Yeah. And your you is a very contentious dickweed.

Yeah. But how?

Yeah. How can a robot even die?

Yeah. I didn't have a big problem

Yeah. I guess.

Yeah. I hope they're still there.

Yeah. I know. Me, too.

Yeah. Like we were somehow gonna make it worse.

Yeah. Look, we know you were sent here

Yeah. Maybe we should always not know what we're doing.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. That's what I thought.

Yeah. They did save us, though.

Yeah. To prove that we're not

Yeah. Totally.

Yeah. Welcome to, and sorry about, Hell.

Yeah. Well, it turned out to be a curse.

Yeah. You?

Yes way!

Yes way!

Yes, alone.

Yes, and unlike those sad Open Mic blokes

Yes, go for it, dude.

Yes, Great Leader.

Yes, Great Leader. It should be.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes.

Yes. You are.

You are.

You can make the decisions

You cannot believe what liars we are.

You could just say "Leader."

You could show us how to use the booth?

You dance?

You don't just get to rock.

You don't?

You got it, Kissy Missy.

You got this.

You got to earn the right to rock.

You gotta choose a place to dig it from.

You gotta come see this, fellas.

You gotta kill us!

You guys can play it for 'em.

You guys okay?

You guys totally lied to us!

You have everything you require.

You have some crazy, crazy skills, dude!

You have to!

You just need a band.

You kicked me out because you was jealous of me.

You know what happens if he kills them, dude.

You know what to do.

You know your father and I agreed on everything,

You know, it's been so hard watching you

You lasered our daughters?

You lasered them?

You liberated all music, dude.

You mind if we try?

You must not fail.

You never have, Bill.

You never have.

You okay, dude?

You played the Elks Lodge

You quit the band to go out on your own!

You raised two fine young girls.

You remember when you used to call them

You sent our daughters to Hell?

You should put it to good use and help us save reality!

You sure this is it?

You tried to take the name Wyld Stallyns.

You want some Bill and Ted, punk?

You went back and you made it worse!

You were lying about that?

You were supposed to unite the world in song.

You wouldn't let me play!

You're a dick, Ted.

You're a grateful, totally insecure,

You're a robot!

You're being a rotten idiot!

You're forgiven. No problem. But we gotta go, robot dude.

You're gonna stay here and rot

You're not goin' anywhere, pretty boy.

You're not gonna kill Ted, Dad.

You're the one who couldn't write it, Ted.

Younger us's, hello!

Your daughters won't even talk to you.

Your father would be so proud of you.

Your improvisations, obviously influenced

Your killer robot after me, Mom?

Your musical acumen is most impressive, girls.

Your playing rivaled, and I'm not kidding,

Your wife needs to hear from you?

Your wives aren't from medieval England.

6:48 p.m.

All right, then. Lovely, lovely. Thank you.

All right. He's kind of a dick.

All right. Okay.

Almost at the van! Hey, us's, stop!

And we're still mad at him. Yeah.

And, Uncle Bill! Yeah.

Apology not accepted, Mother. Kelly?

At least we hope. Yeah.

Be sweet. Okay.

Bill, my friend. Yes, Ted, my friend?

Bill? Almost there, dude.

Bill? I'm tryin', dude.

Bye! Bye, Kid Cudi!

Bye! See ya, Kid Cudi!

Death! Come on, dude.

Death! Death!

definitely. Yeah.

Dude! What?

Dude. Yeah?

Elizabeth! Hi!

Enough! Stop! Enough! Stop!

Excellent! Excellent!

five... Dads!

Four three five... Guys, maybe just press

Good. Oh, my God, is that you?

Got it. All right. Yeah.

Grom! Grom, you start!

Group? Yeah. They went that way.

Hello! Hello!

Hey, Bill. Yeah?

Hey, Kid Cudi. Hey, Dennis.

Hi! Hey, Jo.

How about that concerto? Okay, go tell him.

How's it goin', Deac? Whoa!

Huh? So, we'll be leaving now.

I got lost. Get in, Dennis.

Impossible. ...impossible.

Is that a song? Yes!

It's legit. Yeah.

Jo! Liz!

Joanna! Liz!

Joanna? Hmm?

Joanna? Mmm hmm?

just sent one. To get our dads?

Kinda am now, I think. Yeah.

Let's do it! Yeah.

like, right now. Hmm.

Missy. Oh!

Mmm hmm. Really?

No, no, no, dude. Yes, yes, yes.

No, no, no! We love you guys.

No, no, no... Stop, stop!

Oh, hi! How's it goin'?

Oh, one last thing. Yeah.

Oh. Excuse us, Mr. Death, sir.

Oh. Yeah. Okay.

Okay, let's go. Okay.

Okay. Come on.

Okay. Okay.

One. Two.

One... Two...

Our life is hell! Yeah!

Pain! Pain!

Psychedelic. Psychedelic.

Ready, Bill? Ready, Ted.

Really? Yeah.

Remember, be sweet, dude. You're right.

simultaneously. Simultaneously.

So pretentious. Is it ready?

So, don't go. So, go?

T? B.

Take a hike. Let's go, dude.

Thank you, Mr. Cudi! Thank you, Mr. Cudi!

Thank you. And this is Kid Cudi

Thanks, Dennis. Dads!

That is true. Yeah.

That last riff? Amazing!

That was fun. That was good.

Thea! Billie!

Thea! Billie! Billie! Thea!

Thea? Billie!

Thea? Billie?

Theodore. William!

Try in five years. Okay.

Wait, don't! You can't!

We still got it. We still got it.

We'll be back. And make it better.

We'll be right back. Okay.

We're gonna fix it! I got it.

Well, yeah. We did! Yeah. We did!

What now? I don't know, dude.

What? Those 40 minute solos,

What? Yeah. And the lying.

What? No, we're not. No, are we?

Whatever! Stop fighting with yourself!

Yeah. How great to see you.

Yeah. Oh.

Yeah. Us being here

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. We do.

You are? Yes!

You betcha. Enjoy Hell, y'all.

You didn't! We did!

You know what you need? Hmm?

You're leaving us. What?

You've gotta go. You should probably go.

...at a concert performed by everyone in the band

...doesn't mean we should be punished for that.

...for everything...

...four, three...

...gonna unite the whole world...

...rock, yeah!

...that I used on my first visit to the Great Ones

...the end!

...throughout all of time?

...to change?

...totally inspired him, sir.

...we actually do have...

...world!

'Cause they traveled all through time

'Cause unlike those last us's, we actually have a song.

'Cause we seriously appear

'cause you sent our wives away.

"...until the end of the story."

"It was a raging, confused mess," they said.

"It was all over the place," they said.

"It was even worse than Pale on Pale," they said.

"Little Bill," "Little Ted"?

"Reality as we know it"?

"Should be"?

"Sometimes things don't make sense..."

"yes and no"?