Deadpool 2 Edit

A bee sting.

A bomb?

A bunch of armed pedophiles in nursing shoes.

A child should not be burdened with such power!

A cup of good luck...

A dab of racism...

A few moments...

A little bit of light reading here...

A little turbulent up here.

A lot.

A mood that is

A mutant boy is appearing to have

A panic room? Really?

A place in this world.

A scene of absolute chaos here.

A sense of certainty that you can pull something off.

A sense of confidence is nothing

A splash of diabetes...

A team of highly skilled motherfuckers.

A warrior has nothing to be ashamed of.

A whole bunch of functional idiots.

A wise woman once said to me...

About my heart?

About the high winds?

About to get significantly worse.

About why we're so good together.

Accidental double entendres!

According to the Kubler Ross model...

According to the...

Actually, that may have been me.

After a lengthy standoff

After that, he gets a real taste for it.

Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Ah, shit.

Ah, there they are.

All I remember is he was African American.

All right, I'll put out a call for resumes.

All right, we could do this with four.

All right, well, this has been pretty scary!

All right, you're scared.

All right?

All right.

All right. Say you wake up tomorrow morning...

All right. This is for all the marbles, kid!

All these old guys on the wall.

All you dirty mutants

Alone.

Although I don't quite understand

Although I'm glad you heard it.

Although these will kill you.

Always wanted a real super suit.

Am I getting catfished here or...?

Amen, brother.

An ocean is water.

And a sexual predator, too. That's rich.

And a vicious super soldier from the future...

And a wheelbarrow full of stage four cancer?

And all I wanna do is grab her and see her

And causes nothing but problems!

And certainly not very cinematic.

And every good family film starts with a vicious murder.

And fashion his bones into holiday jewelry.

And filtered her pain through the prism of humor.

And for the first time in a long while...

And fucked up, and not particularly convenient!

And get down on your head! Now!

And give me back my Skee Ball token.

And goddamn it, an eagle's gotta soar.

And he knew exactly how to do it.

And he's not alone.

And hi, Yukio! That was really nice of you to say hi...

And his Are You My Mother? complex!

And how would I do that exactly?

And I can imagine your dead girlfriend...

And I frankly disagreed with you.

And I need to feed my cat!

And I was like, "Take a seat, shit dick."

And I'll tell you anything you wanna know.

And I'm an X Man.

And I'm hunting wabbits.

And if we succeed, we all go home early.

And it appears as if the X Men are arriving...

And it was the best thing I ever did.

And it's gonna make a lot of people very sad.

And just like me,

And karma, motherfucker.

And killing, and killing,

And killing.

And last, but not least...

And launching it into space...

And let it out a little in the waist.

And let's kill this motherfucker!

And like a lot of dicks, he's hard as a rock...

And make friends with them.

And make it rain!

And make sure the world

And maybe, possibly mildly lucky.

And Negasonic Teenage Longest Name Ever...

And nobody fucking realizes it.

And promise me. Promise me one thing.

And rub it around on your beard a little bit

And she looked up at his smooth,

And sometimes you gotta fight dirty!

And stashed it in the old prison wallet,

And stop the people that took your girl, would you?

And stretch it out over a homemade mating drum.

And tear off a piece of dry tissue...

And tell her that I'm sorry, and I can't.

And that is just the first five steps

And that is the most beautiful thing

And that's a twist.

And the X Men were called in to restore order.

And then farted his way out of the living room.

And then go on, get on with your day?

And then have consensual sex with their sister?

And then I'm gonna come back with my friend, Cable.

And then remember the movie Interview with the Vampire?

And then take a selfie with his smoldering corpse.

And this is the Vanisher.

And threatened him with great violence?

And three, does Dopinder ever find love?

And to update you

And took the only thing that made it a home.

And transported to the Ice Box...

And treatment.

And turned it into a glory hole

And we can make the whole world our bitch.

And we'll make him our bitch!

And when he does, say yes.

And who'da thought?

And why is he dressed like a registered sex offender?

And you are not giving up on that boy.

And you can create it at any moment in time.

And you know it, you sick son of a bitch!

And you winning the Ice Box award for softest mouth.

And you would scrub the fucking shit

And you, Cable.

And you...

And you're absolutely right.

And you're my Kristen Dunst!

And young enough so they can carry

And your paper towel tube arms.

And, believe it or not, Deadpool 2 is a family film.

And, hypothetically, find some fresh shit on your face.

Another disgusting minority off the streets.

Answer: a family.

Any powers you wanna tell us about?

Anyone but me.

Anywhere's better than here.

Are gonna rot in hell with the boy!

Are you a superhero?

Are You Bear, God? It's Me, Margaret.

Are you pissing? Are you urinating right now?

Are you sure you're not from the DC universe?

Are you sure you're not from the DC universe?

Are you trying to make me feel disgusting?

As a former X Man...

As a piece of shit a long time ago.

As many people as melanoma has.

As soon as possible.

As you charge at me with murderous intent.

At ease, Officer.

At least domestically.

At least we still have Bowie.

At the Essex House for Mutant Rehabilitation.

At the office.

Attention, all inmates!

Aw. That's, like, my favorite part of the Bible.

Baby factory's open for business.

Baby, I'm so sorry.

Baby, that's Empire.

Baby? Baby?

Back in your cells, you filthy mutants! Get in there!

Back off, NTW.

Bad news is the whole team is dead.

Baldilocks? Jared Kushner?

Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7.

Be at the X Jet in five.

Beat it, midget!

Beat me within an inch of my life.

Because he's built a team. He's unstoppable.

Because I'm not gonna make it to two.

Because I've been inside you.

Because of a light breeze?

Because of me, he's gonna know what real love looks like.

Because of you, I'll always know

Because of you.

Because the whole world wrote him off

Because, honestly, he's a bit of a dick!

Been smoking a lot jazz cabbage.

Before I go...

Believe me, son,

Besides him, who will treat you right.

Besides, we're X Men.

Besides...

Better than we used to be.

Beyond their own worst experience.

Big CGI fight coming up!

Black Evan, I don't know.

Blessed are the wicked

Blessed are the wicked who are healed by my hand!

Blessed are the wicked who are healed by my hand.

Blessed are the wicked...

Blessed are the wicked...

Boom!

Both of 'em?

BOTH: That's good, yeah.

Boy howdy.

Bred into it.

Brought a Super Soaker.

Brush your teeth a hero...

Burn the headmaster alive...

But a sense of power within yourself...

But all I told him was everything he wanted to know.

But by the content of their character.

But Cable? Ugh. That guy's in a mood.

But even you know I'm not a complete piece of shit.

But here we are, trying to overcome our differences.

But here's the thing,

But I can now. What do you want me to say, huh?

But I can't wait to never speak of this,

But I did take 8th grade Spanish, so...

But I do know how to hug you.

But I guarantee he hasn't killed

But I wouldn't kill a kid.

But if you kill him, he wins.

But in this film, well...

But it's family you need.

But maybe I can save a robust teenager from New Zealand.

But not me.

But nothing that can't be fixed.

But one day, your old pal Wade's gonna ask you...

But she was funny...

But something did happen.

But sometimes dreams don't come true.

But that isn't Russell.

But that's where you'd be wrong.

But then we discovered his mom is named Martha, too.

But there is a slight chance

But they quit halfway through.

But they quit halfway through.

But this guy?

But this is what friends do. They show up!

But this time, you can see

But we can't really live till we've died a little, can we?

But we'll get to him in a moment.

But we're not paying medical or dental.

But we're X Force! Nope! We're not.

But what did he do to you?

But worst of all...

But you can be.

But you can.

But you know something?

But you must learn never to use them...

But you unleashed the Juggernaut, you dumb cunt!

But you're an eagle...

But, hey.

But, no, being a hero takes only a few moments!

But, really, modeling is just a stepping stone to acting.

But, then...

But, uh, all signs point to yes.

But...

By my hand.

Bye, Wade!

Bye, Wade!

Bye, Wade!

Bye, Yukio!

Cable's gonna kill you when he finds out.

Calm down, squirt. It's over. We got ya.

Calm down.

Came up with that little chestnut?

Can every day be International Women's Day?

Can I have one of those guns?

Can we focus for a moment, ladies?

Can we get a wipe down on the table?

Can you come out?

Can you see it?

Can you turn off the music?

Can't maintain an erection

Captain Delicious Pants.

Carry him three feet off the ground

Causing anxiety, confusion...

Cell 04 located.

Cells 1, 3, 7, 8.

Cells 7, 12, 14, 27.

Cells seven and nine

Cells seven and nine

Christ!

Chrome Bone.

Codswallop.

Come here, beautiful.

Come in! Hey, I was just doing

Come on.

Come quietly, or there will be trouble.

Connor, if it's a boy. May, if it's a girl.

Convoy, 12 o'clock! On my command!

Cool name! Superpowers?

Cool your pits. They're growing back.

Cool. I like it.

Couch cushions after Shark Week.

Couldn't kill me.

Courage, motherfuckers!

Cut. I've got bad guy blood, right in my open eye.

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta!

Deep down inside, you know you're unfit to leave.

Define "chance."

Definitely all the way up to the elbow.

Denial is just one of the five stages of grief.

Deploy! Oh, hey now!

Designed by Fox executives...

Diarrhea?

Did he taste the rainbow?

Did you just say "hollow points"?

Do I look like a patient burn victim?

Do in the future, anyway, huh?

Do they make Purell for your ears?

Do you go to a bathroom

Do you have the courage to check and see...

Do you know what would happen to me if I helped you?

Do you see that beautiful bright light?

Do You Want to Build a Snowman?

Do You Want to Build a Snowman? from Frozen...

Does it really get the job done?

Does this song sound familiar to you?

Doesn't shit itself into oblivion.

Doing the right thing is sometimes messy...

Doing the ugly stuff no one else will do.

Domino, mind slowing us down?

Domino.

Doms, get me out of here, please.

Doms!

Don't be mean.

Don't be. Don't be.

Don't do that.

Don't feel bad. Even I can't kill me.

Don't feel bad. Even I can't kill me.

Don't fuck Elvis.

Don't give up on the boy. How could he just walk away?

Don't I? A good day.

Don't look. It'll only make it worse.

Don't make a move. This is a stick up.

Don't stare directly into that.

Don't try to chase me. Wade!

Don't want to.

Don't worry.

Don't worry. You're not going to die.

Don't you know how to knock?

Don't you say legs! I know you're gonna say legs!

Don't you want your surprise?

Door won't open!

Dopinder, it's me again.

Dopinder!

Dubstep's for pussies.

Ejaculate into a soap dispenser a hero.

Enough energy to reverse time is...

Enough!

Entering repair mode.

Environmentally friendly.

Especially around the pants.

Especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony.

Even if I have to teabag him to death.

Even if we were...

Every time you're tempted to act upon your urges.

Everyone, calm down! The pros are here. I...

Everything usually just kind of works out for me.

Except for where they are.

Except, of course, that.

Family is not an F word.

Family was always an F word to me.

Figure it out!

Figured out how to shut you up.

Final offer.

Finally, one more pass with toilet paper,

Find the biggest guy and make him your...

Fine. All right, let's flip a coin. Okay?

First day. I'm so nervous!

First off...

First rule of the yard, fuckface...

First, he rides my coattails with the R rating.

For $45, you get sucky suck.

For all manner of combat.

For the first time...

For X Force, unfortunately.

Four or five moments!

Four or five moments!

Freakshow comic book artist...

Friend? You were sick, and I protected you.

From joining the deadly merc business...

From now on, we'll be known as...

Fuck it!

Fuck superheroes.

Fuck this!

Fuck Wolverine.

Fuck your rules! I fight for what's right!

Fuck, you are dumb.

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck! Fine!

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck you.

Fucked up, insecure, needy, and emotional.

Fucker can't stay in a panic room forever.

Fucker hates mutants.

Fucking A, sweetie.

Fucking acidic vomit!

Fun fact about the Ice Box...

Gender neutral.

Genuine, high grade lead.

George Michael was right.

Get a power restraint on him. Now!

Get away from me, kid!

Get away from me!

Get down.

Get me on the ground, watch me go!

Get off this property, mutant scum!

Get out of my head!

Gets the job done.

Gingivitis.

Give him a chance.

Give me a bow and arrow, I'm basically Hawkeye.

Give me a chance to save him.

Give me some.

Give me that back! That goes with me everywhere.

Give me your best shot, One Eyed Willy.

Go get him, tiger!

Go home, Sugarbear. Go home.

Go home, Wade!

Go home, Wade.

Go on, you're doing it!

Go on. Go, get out of here.

Go to church, maybe dinner and a movie,

Go, go, go!

Go! Go! Go!

Go.

God, I wish this were a bus

God, it smells like Hitler's anus...

God, you're a douche.

Goddamn, that's beautiful.

Gonna pretend like that never happened.

Good call.

Good call. You guys coming with us?

Good listening. I stole that guard's pen...

Good news and bad news.

Got 'em. God, Russell.

Got it! No, I don't.

Gotcha!

Grab the boy. But not inappropriately!

Grab those dreams by the dick tip...

Great, I'll pick 'em off along the way.

Grover's got a cock the size of a twig.

Guy Pearce performance.

Guys, for a second there...

Handicapable children stuck in a tree...

Hands off that kid, John Connor!

Handsome face and said...

Hang in there, Doms!

Hang the laundry out at 1,300 feet...

Happy anniversary, baby.

Happy?

Hard left, douchebag.

Have we met? I can't place your mustache.

He came into my home...

He deserves to die for what he did to you.

He dies tonight, Wade.

He even runs like a fucking pervert.

He has an ass pen. He'll stab you with it.

He hurt you badly. Makes you wanna hurt others.

He loves killing kids.

He may be running late.

He tried to beat the genes out of us.

He was a bit of a prick. Oh, but Paul!

He was one of the worst of 'em.

He was torturing me!

He was trying to hurt me...

He wasn't too happy about that.

He's dead, too.

He's doing great.

He's doing it!

He's going in through the back!

He's gonna go straight to jail

He's just a kid!

He's never had anyone sacrifice anything for him...

He's never had anyone, ever.

He's not here, is he?

He's on top of you.

He's really teeing it up, isn't he?

He's standing right behind you, isn't he?

He's tearing you open!

He's very short, 5'11". Not like in the comics.

Heads, you did it for me. Tails, you did it for me.

Hello, Russell.

Hello?

Her name's Hope.

Here goes nothing.

Here we go.

Here we go. Bring it in.

Here we go. One, two, three. F... F... F...

Here's a spoiler alert.

Hey, baby!

Hey, big guy, the sun's getting real low!

Hey, bud. Bud.

Hey, it's Gail calling.

Hey, Ness!

Hey, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Asshole!

Hey! Been meaning to ask you...

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! It's me! Don't scratch!

Hey! Pick on someone your own size!

Hey.

Hey. Been meaning to ask you...

Hey. Look at me.

Hi, there!

Hi, Wade!

Hi. This is a toughie.

Hit it, Dolly.

Hmm?

Hmm. Something wrong with the soap.

Hold on! Wait, wait, wait!

Hold your testicles there, buddy, okay?

Holy mommy fucking shit!

Holy shit pickles! That guy's on fire.

Holy...

How 'bout that putz with the giant pigeon wings?

How do you know what I want?

How does that, uh, help us?

How in the fuck are you in already?

How powerful they make you feel.

How something so small generates

How they are at all similar.

How you need to feel...

Huggies Natural Care wet wipes.

Huh?

Huh?

Huh. Could've used one of those in the first act.

Hurry up and open this fucking door,

I accept your apology. I never apologized.

I ain't letting Cable get to him,

I am not X Man material at all.

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry. It gets better.

I believe him! Every man for themselves!

I bet 50 years from now, we're bestest buddies.

I bet you do, Brown Panther.

I came close a few times.

I can distort electrical fields.

I can do thirty.

I can have anything I want.

I can hear you rummaging around in there.

I can't believe he's still alive.

I can't believe you left the house in that shirt.

I can't bring him down alone.

I can't feel...

I can't protect you.

I can't trust anybody!

I can't trust you.

I can't wait to kill!

I care about you, Russell.

I could barely keep a straight face.

I could be of great use.

I could get used to this X Man shit.

I could hear you coming the last 30 seconds.

I cried when they canceled Felicity.

I didn't have a family, either.

I do want to live the dreams, Pool Boy.

I don't bargain, pumpkin fucker.

I don't care what the kid did to me.

I don't do well with pain, you know.

I don't give a fuck about him...

I don't have a home, Weas, you know. I got a...

I don't have a sock puppet on me...

I don't have one.

I don't have what it takes to do this...

I don't know how to thank you.

I don't know much about this Cable fella...

I don't know what that means.

I don't know what this is.

I don't know who that is.

I don't know why I packed the hollow points.

I don't know yet.

I don't know. How long does it take

I don't mean right now.

I don't recall asking your opinion, Peter!

I don't speak Cantonese, Mister...

I don't think anyone's gonna miss Shatterstar.

I don't wanna die without an audience.

I don't want you to hurt me,

I feel the soul exiting the husk.

I finally know why I'm here.

I fucking did this.

I get it.

I got one for you, too.

I got one more idea.

I got this.

I got two charges: one to get me here,

I got you, buddy!

I got your back.

I gotta start taking care of myself.

I guess dubstep never dies.

I guess family really is an F word.

I guess my heart was finally in the right place.

I guess Stryker finally

I had no idea hopeless was a color.

I had so much fun! You were like...

I hate to interrupt, but is anybody nervous

I have a mission now.

I have a mission.

I have an idea.

I have one right now.

I have three questions then.

I haven't always been the best friend to you.

I hear you're handy at picking locks.

I heard the news, sweetie.

I hope we sharpened the cream cheese spreader.

I just filled it. Give it a few more pumps there.

I just get a little choked up sometimes.

I just have a few final words.

I just love being around you guys so much.

I just need a couple of hours to get some legs

I just need to die harder.

I just wanna say how proud I am of this team.

I killed every last one of them, except me.

I know how seductive they are.

I know it's in there, I just need to get it out.

I know what you're thinking.

I know you're doing what comes naturally.

I know you're doing what comes naturally.

I know you're in there.

I know. I love you, too.

I like her!

I like it.

I like me.

I like that.

I like this guy.

I like to think that I've rubbed off around you, too.

I liked you better with your hair short.

I literally don't know what that means.

I love dubstep!

I love Frozen.

I love the decor though.

I love you, Wade Wilson.

I love you, Wade Wilson.

I love you.

I loved her. I loved her like an ocean loves water.

I made mistakes!

I mean, it's not like I have a lot of strong role models

I mean, like Rush Limbaugh's

I mean, luck?

I missed you so much.

I need a bus to get you all out of here.

I need to be selfless.

I need to take you back

I never should've left you in that prison.

I never should've left you there.

I never stood up for myself in there.

I only do over the pants, mouth stuff.

I read the suggestion box.

I realize that you're new to this, but relax.

I really have to go. It's my anniversary.

I really hope I don't know what you're saying.

I really wanted to match, you know?

I said no touching!

I said, "You remind me of my wife."

I see through this weak act.

I see what you did there. Puns.

I should have finished college.

I should have left you

I should've worn my white pants.

I spent 10 years in Special Forces.

I still got it.

I think I'll head back to the car.

I think I'm in the right place.

I think we both know

I think we may have found

I think we should all do it at the same time.

I think you missed big, big chunks of that movie.

I thought that was you!

I thought this was an anal bleaching party.

I thought you saw me...

I thought you were gonna kiss me for a second there.

I told you I care about you.

I use a device to slide through time.

I used to have one of those in 1990 never.

I used to live in a shithole just like it.

I wanna take them back!

I want some more.

I want to become a contract killer.

I want to belong to something, like you, Pool, sir.

I want you to have my Adventure Time watch.

I wanted to be a superhero.

I was a soldier. Special Forces.

I was always appalled by the blatant sexism

I was born into war.

I was going to say "soul". I want to fill my soul.

I was once an X Man.

I was raised in this place.

I was rounding up all the gluten in the world

I was talking to your heart.

I went to prison. I, uh...

I will bathe in the blood of your enemies.

I will never, ever let our child be named Todd.

I will never, ever let our child be named Todd.

I wish you'd said "pants".

I won't even make it to one.

I wonder what gang I'll be in.

I would be disgraced.

I wouldn't ask him to do that, if I were you.

I wouldn't fuck with Deadpool either.

I'd ask who you are, but you'll be dead in a second.

I'd buy them all a bouquet of hand jobs.

I'd gone international,

I'd never let anything happen to you, Sugarbear.

I'd rather die of cancer. Let's just...

I'd whisper it, but Skittles would sue us.

I'll also be the first to admit that

I'll ask the questions, Miguel.

I'll be first to admit...

I'll be praying for you.

I'll be right back!

I'll burn you! You stay back!

I'll burn your balls off!

I'll give you 30 seconds.

I'll keep it forever.

I'll kill the kid.

I'll never not picture that.

I'll start by making us a shank.

I'll start from the beginning.

I'll tell you that much.

I'll tell you why I'm here.

I'm a grower, not a shower.

I'm about to do something terrible.

I'm asking you to save hundreds of other kids.

I'm at the end of my rope.

I'm basically better than you at everything.

I'm Batman.

I'm coming up on your six.

I'm doing this alone.

I'm Domino, and doubtful.

I'm dying in this one, too.

I'm fine.

I'm from the future. Just walk away.

I'm getting good at this shit.

I'm glad everybody dropped by.

I'm going to burn that headmaster alive.

I'm going to fuck you to death with your own broken feet.

I'm going to help.

I'm gonna go make dessert.

I'm gonna go there, and I'm gonna be their Superman.

I'm gonna make you feel what you should feel.

I'm gonna melt you down and make a cock ring.

I'm gonna miss him. He seemed great.

I'm gonna rip you in half now.

I'm gonna see you...

I'm gonna shove it up your ass.

I'm gonna shove that cab driver right up your ass.

I'm gonna shower and get out of this suit.

I'm gonna stop you right there

I'm gonna stop you right there.

I'm gonna touch them all over.

I'm here to proposition you.

I'm here, I made it.

I'm in an 11 year old's bedroom.

I'm in.

I'm just gonna use this brick.

I'm just surprised anyone would date you.

I'm like Tupac, and you're like Ice Cube.

I'm merely a vessel for the Lord.

I'm never gonna dance again. Fuck!

I'm not a fucking racist, moron!

I'm not asking you to kill a kid!

I'm not even a virgin. Second and more...

I'm not even gonna look, because you did it for me.

I'm not giving up on you,

I'm not gonna abandon this kid.

I'm not in your head.

I'm not ready to be touched again.

I'm not X Man material.

I'm okay.

I'm only yelling to impress the other guys.

I'm pretty sure this isn't it.

I'm proud. You're everything I knew you can be.

I'm really not ready.

I'm retrieving something from my utility bag.

I'm sorry you had to see that,

I'm sorry, what did you say?

I'm sorry, what?

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry? Apology accepted.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. What did you say?

I'm starting to feel...

I'm staying. I'm not going anywhere without you.

I'm sticking my neck out bringing you here.

I'm talking about some Ocean's 14 shit. Rogue Two.

I'm talking about your face.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Wade.

I'm that kid's only hope,

I'm the asshole who got away.

I'm very sorry. I am.

I'm with the old white guy on this one.

I'm Zeitgeist.

I'mma tell you what the big lie is.

I've always seen myself as

I've been inside your shoes.

I've been trying to make this happen for a while.

I've been waiting for someone to come and save me.

I've done some light catalog work...

I've ever heard.

I've got a list.

I've got tumors to grow. Vanessa awaits.

I've had three tickets already.

I've made a critical error on my Airbnb reservation.

I've never experienced that last one.

I've never seen you without your mask before.

If I stub my toe, I'm done for the day.

If there are enough sanitary napkins in the dispenser?

If there's anything you take away today...

If we can get to him before that happens...

If we name him Earl.

If you can get you a hair dryer.

If you could go back...

If you find a Type 3, let us know.

If you know what I'm saying.

If you want to be a contract killer...

In an airport bathroom.

In Cool Runnings, it was when John Candy's

In every film, there's a moment

In Human Centipede, it was when those people...

In Mother Russia.

In the group's name.

In the self pitying mess I found you in.

In the sky.

Including the one inside your brain...

Inspection of your cells and out processing

Intercept the convoy,

Intercept the convoy, and grab the boy.

Irene Merryweather, WHIT News.

Is it just me, or does

Is it the kid?

Is that a fanny pack?

Is there a knife in my dick?

Is this apartment listed on Tinder? Grindr?

Is this heaven?

Is you would get some soap, you'd get some hot water...

Isn't that a little derivative?

Isn't that Canada?

Isn't that how it always works?

It belongs here where it can grow.

It doesn't exist.

It ends with me dying of cancer...

It has been quite the run, Dopinder,

It is heaven.

It is no friend to chilled aluminum.

It is now.

It isn't too late. Don't do it.

It means I'm gonna save Russell.

It takes work, discipline...

It was me.

It was my fault she died.

It was my fault.

It was my job to stop people like him.

It was the coldness in his eyes.

It worked.

It works best when you pull the trigger.

It would seem I...

It's a goddamn fanny pack...

It's a good thing Cable's not driving,

It's a little hard to hear you

It's all right. I'll be here.

It's always just you

It's both history teacher and fortune teller.

It's Cable. 12 o'clock.

It's called "Adrien Brody or Adam Brody?".

It's dust bunny season...

It's fine.

It's fulfilling work.

It's great seeing you like this.

It's just a really bad one, even for me.

It's just it's hard to picture.

It's like he was giving birth anally,

It's like he's a Muppet from the waist down.

It's like I'm on stage at the Gaiety.

It's my daughter's teddy bear.

It's nice to see some fresh faces around here.

It's not a great analogy.

It's not dirt. It's the blood of my dead daughter.

It's not gonna be one number.

It's not gonna change the fact that I think you're...

It's not time.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's pretty fucking awesome over here.

It's really just a sip of tea at this point.

It's Russell, right?

It's something you create.

It's that we all need to belong to someone.

It's the kid. Just like you, I let him down.

It's time to burn for what you've done!

It's time to fight dirty.

It's time to get back on LinkedIn.

It's too stripper y.

It's why I'm cursed to be a solo act.

Jesus Christ, Buck!

Jesus Christ!

Jesus Christ! This is so much harder than I thought.

Jesus Christ.

Jesus! Either vomit or don't.

Jesus.

John Wick 3, but with the original director.

Juggernaut!

Just about 30 seconds would do you good.

Just ask anyone in Brooklyn.

Just cleaning up the timelines!

Just keep looking, okay?

Just leave me alone, kid.

Just let it happen, okay?

Just let me die in peace.

Just once, I'm gonna find a planet of people

Just once. Come on,

Just rest, okay?

Just shirt cocking it.

Just stand down!

Just the fist, or all the way up to the elbow?

Just trying to be the world's best X Man.

Justin Bieber. He called you Justin Bieber.

Kevin with a "K"!

Kid, I think you picked the wrong side.

Kids give us a chance to be better than we used to be.

Kill baby Hitler.

Kiss me like you miss me, Red.

Kiss me like you miss me, Red.

Knock, knock.

Knowing you.

Kristen? Kirsten?

Label everything in the refrigerator!

Lady Luck, take the wheel.

Left!

Left!

Leonard, hit it!

Let alone two women.

Let her go, it's okay.

Let me guess,

Let me talk to the kid.

Let's bring on the carnage, baby!

Let's do that.

Let's get a bagel.

Let's get some!

Let's get you inside, young man.

Let's go home, Russell.

Let's go tip to tip.

Let's go!

Let's play a game.

Let's play a game.

Let's see Captain America do that.

Let's see your soul, perv!

Let's talk. It doesn't have to go this way!

Let's watch some porn and show that bed who's boss.

Like 10 year old Kirsten Dunst, motherfucker!

Like 2008 Ryan Reynolds.

Like an online predator who lost his laptop.

Like Beyonce says, "Please...

Like Cher or Todd.

Like in Star Wars,

Like nothing happened?

Like the memory of your fucking fanny pack!

Like wet garbage in hot urine.

Listen to me!

Listen to me! Go!

Listen to the pain.

Listen, confidence is not something you have.

Little off course here.

Live here at a breaking news situation

Lonely at the top, eh?

Look at me. I'm an easy target.

Look at me. We're X Force, right?

Look at the little fella. He's doing it.

Look at these gorgeous sons of bitches.

Look, a saner man might discourage you

Look, bud. I said, "Your money or your life."

Look, eventually you're going to hang up the claws...

Look, he's teamed up with the Juggernaut!

Look, I get it.

Look, you can stop the Juggernaut. I know you can.

Look.

Look.

Looking good, Vanisher.

Looks like Russell found a new friend. Jelly.

Looks like you left a little landing strip there.

Love the shiny suit.

Love you!

Luck is not a superpower! We are so fucked!

Lucky me.

Make friends with someone.

Man, that sucks they didn't have anything in your size.

Masking tape.

Match?

Matthew McConaughey, your words are a treasure.

Maximum effort.

Maximum effort.

May.

Maybe a small learning disability...

Maybe clear out that excess moisture.

Maybe even Black Tim.

Maybe I can get you out of here.

Maybe I couldn't save Vanessa...

Maybe the kind that leaves you more machine than man.

Maybe the wind can't blow what it can't see.

Maybe treat yourself to a blow and go,

Me neither.

Meet Bedlam.

Meet bottom.

Men are destined to become their father...

Mischief has been my mistress...

Mister, Mister, put down that gun.

Mmm.

More importantly, I liked her. I really liked her, you know?

More of an East Coast Hufflepuff.

Motherfuck!

Mr. Weasel, I can no longer be double parked.

Must be hard being the biggest guy in here.

Mutant Containment Facility...

My beautiful, hairless, Twizzler legged baby boy.

My body and my hands are so soft.

My body and my hands are so soft.

My body is an instrument of death.

My heart is in the right place.

My heart's not in the right place? What does it...

My IUD.

My job!

My name is Deadpool, and I'm an X Man.

My name's Rusty, but I go by Shatterstar.

My people.

My pile of shit father took off and bailed.

My superpower is just unbridled cancer.

My whole life.

My world tour brought me home

Ness, can you let me in?

Ness, there's something here. I can't get to you.

Ness?

Ness?

Ness?

Ness.

Never heard of him.

Never underestimate a man with a mustache!

Never.

New plan. Use all of your imaginary powers

Next time, Uber.

Nice! Right?

Nighty night, you annoying prick!

No child is hopeless.

No more senseless violence! No more bloodshed!

No more speaking lines for you.

No offense, but if you know so much...

No one is born perfect.

No one's ever changed you.

No shit, Shiny Gandhi!

No superpowers at all?

No, dick for brains. My birth control device.

No, I can feel it now. Here it comes, yeah.

No, I didn't! He's my friend!

No, I didn't.

No, I spit acidic vomit.

No, I want you to join.

No, I'm gonna stick around for a while...

No, I'm pretty sure Luke nailed her.

No, I'm really sorry.

No, I'm sorry that you said that...

No, no, no, DP, not again!

No, no, no!

No, no, no!

No, no, no! Let's not do that. Please!

No, no, no. Let her go.

No, no! No! No more! We're better than that!

No, sir.

No, stage left, you idiot!

No, that's stupid, Russell. Idiot.

No, too stripper y, too.

No, Wade, because of you.

No, wait, wait. Wait.

No, we most certainly are not fucked.

No, we'll get the kids back to the mansion.

No, you're X People.

No!

No!

No!

No! Tripping motherfucking billies!

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. It's his "Basic Instinct."

No. You did it for me.

No.You got me.

Nobody's gonna sacrifice anything for me.

Nope, no chance. He's dead.

Not by the color of their skin,

Not getting a real

Not in prison. I assure you...

Not now, Dopinder.

Not to worry, we're old friends.

Not when convenient or easy.

Not working out at all.

Nothing can stop the Juggernaut. We need backup.

Nothing worse than a "pray the gay away" type guy.

Now I'm talked about in the same sentence as Jesus.

Now off limits for medical personnel.

Now off limits for medical personnel.

Now we're getting it.

Now, close your eyes and open your mouth.

Now, close your eyes and open your mouth.

Now, go.

Now, I'm gonna shove the red guy up the old guy.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

Now, if you'll excuse me...

Now, leave me.

Now, look, sugar. You need to just keep living.

Now, my family's safe. And I didn't do it for you.

Now, some ground rules while under our roof.

Now. I can do now.

Number one, I'm gonna bend something.

Obviously, everyone hated the ceviche.

Of course I fucking would!

Of handicapable children who were stuck in a tree.

Of the orphanage tonight.

Of what they're meant for!

Oh, boy!

Oh, fuck it.

Oh, geez.

Oh, God, he's inside!

Oh, God, I hope the Academy is watching.

Oh, God, that hurt.

Oh, God! I'm gonna throw up in my mask.

Oh, God! Oh, God, time out! Time out!

Oh, God! They do say the pen is grosser than the sword.

Oh, God! We're not a team.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. I know that voice.

Oh, great!

Oh, great.

Oh, I'm going to hell.

Oh, in a George W. sort of way.

Oh, it's slippery, too. This table needs a wipe down!

Oh, it's so hard to go.

Oh, Jesus Christ!

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh, just fix it, Eleven,

Oh, man, it sucks.

Oh, man!

Oh, mission accomplished?

Oh, Mr. Pool. David Bowie is...

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! I can't feel my legs.

Oh, my God! I can't say it! I'm so sorry!

Oh, my God! I want a boy!

Oh, my God! What the fuck?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Did you feel that, too?

Oh, no, they're right here.

Oh, no. You're doing amazing.

Oh, Pool, picture me, a 10 year old Kirsten Dunst.

Oh, right.

Oh, shit fuck!

Oh, shit! That fucking does it!

Oh, shit.

Oh, thank God. Oh, my God!

Oh, that's not good.

Oh, that's so gross.

Oh, that's the sun.

Oh, this is really hard.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah! That's right, Bedlam!

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Full Winnie the Pooh.

Oh, yeah. You should never meet your heroes...

Oh, yes. You're already practicing your salute, huh?

Oh, you're living the dreams, DP.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! And I want our kid to have only one name.

Oh! Mary, mother of Joseph!

Oh! Really?

Oh.

Oh. Oh, this isn't Gilbert's.

Oh. That's got some zip.

Oh. Wow!

Oh...

Oi.

Okay, get these guys in the pod.

Okay, I'm fine.

Okay, I'm over the convoy.

Okay, let's not do whatever that is.

Okay, look. According to my guy, okay...

Okay? Let's just talk!

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Will you give Domino my email?

On 1,200 gallons of high test fuel...

On Gerry Duggan Parkway.

On the story reported earlier,

On your fucking knees, mutant.

On your fucking knees!

Once again, intolerance rears its ugly head.

Once again, it all falls on my shoulders.

Once he kills someone, he gets a taste for it.

One pinch of courage...

One that doesn't end up in my mouth.

One to get me home.

One, is dubstep still a thing?

Only best buddies execute pedophiles together.

Only the main ones. We're still good.

Ooh, that's a great name. Where does it burn?

Ooh, too late. I'm sorry?

Ooh!

Open for business.

Open, open, open.

Or a little girl! Definitely one or the other!

Or better yet, head back a little further,

Or don't. I didn't.

Or I'll take it to the Genius Bar.

Or you'd be in the back.

Orphans.

Other than the need to Google, "What the fuck is dubstep?"...

Our door's always open.

Our first date.

Out of your beard for 10 straight minutes.

Outside the Essex House for Mutant Rehabilitation...

Over and over, I hear people say,

Ow! Oh!

Pain teaches us who we are, Wade.

Pain.

Papa, Can You Hear Me? from Yentl?

Papa.

Passion of the Christ, then me.

Peacetime makes people soft.

Pelvis to pelvis.

People nobody would touch. Except me.

People think they understand pain.

People think you wake up a hero...

Peter, I'm gonna miss him most.

Peter!

Peter!

Peter.

Peter.

Planets.

Please don't cry.

Please don't.

Please know I wouldn't be able to stop you if you did.

Please, after you.

Please, just don't leave me.

Please, they hurt. I have growing pains.

Please, we need to talk about next month's meal plan.

Please! Please.

Please.

Please. Please.

Power dampening collar.

Precious, aren't they?

Pretty sure it doesn't work that way, but we can try.

Prized bobsled broke.

Probably a guy who can't draw feet!

Probably something terrible.

Psst!

Put that back in your prison wallet.

Put your hands behind your knees

Really brings out

Relax.

Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu

Right next to a huge,

Right? Yeah, you got 'em all.

Right. Quick.

Rock...

Rub my legs, Mama.

Russ, where are ya?

Russell belongs in our care.

Russell, I couldn't protect you back then.

Russell!

Russell!

Russell! Russell Collins!

Russell! Wait!

Russell.

Russell. Russell, you're okay!

Russell's gonna burn down that orphanage.

Russell's in a convoy heading southbound

Russell's not gonna kill anyone.

Say "fuck" for me.

Say it again.

Say it!

Say it!

Say it!

Say it!

Say it.

Say what you said every time you tortured me!

Say whatever it is you're here to say. Make it quick.

Scatter!

Searching.

Second biggest guy.

Secure the children.

See? I didn't lie what kind of film this was.

See? You're not lost cause you thought.

Seriously, I don't get it!

Settle down, Captain Lucky.

Shatterstar. Okay, you got this.

She always struggled.

She has a right to be skeptical.

She's gone.

She's my girlfriend, you intolerant shit.

Shit!

Shoot that motherfucker! Shoot him!

Shot after shot,

Showtime, mama!

Shut up. Now, come on. Your money or your life?

Shuts down all mutant abilities.

Sick piece of shit.

Signed on to be in that movie.

Sit in a share circle, talk about my feelings?

Skee Ball token.

Skee Ball token.

So he keeps killing...

So here we are.

So I can pull all the fucking blood out of his body...

So I did.

So I understand, you know. But I like to think...

So I'm just gonna change your diaper real quick...

So I'm saying hi back.

So if you go after them, Cable, I warn you...

So sit tight and wait for my word.

So stay here in Chateau de Virgin...

So thank you.

So they will never use you.

So we can go after him without me.

So weird.

So what exactly do you

So what you would do,

So you have the power

So you wear that helmet because

So, basically, you're Dave Matthews.

So, I'm here to help us gear up.

So, respect.

So, so much.

So, what's it gonna be, handsome?

So, you're from the future.

Some kind of soldier?

Some of your best friends in the future are Indian.

Some sort of an incident...

Somebody swiped right.

Someone's coming. It's Russell, sir.

Something I could never master.

Something is so terribly, terribly wrong.

Something that was not meant to bend.

Something to remember you by.

Sometimes, it's so bad, we feel like we're dying.

Sorry I'm late.

Sorry I'm late.

Sorry, I got a bit more in me.

Sorry, X Person.

Sound familiar?

Sound suspiciously like

Splash of diabetes...

Spoiler alert.

Stand down! Hold your fire!

Start the fucking car!

Start the fucking car!

Stay back or Justin Bieber dies!

Stay back! I'll burn you!

Stay in school, kid.

Steaming bowl of foreshadowing.

Still with us.

Stop trying to shank the biggest guys in here...

Stop, stop, stop!

Stop!

Such a glare.

Suck it, Mel Gibson.

Suck my mutant dick, you four eyed fuck.

Sugarbear. You got this, buddy!

Superhero landing coming up!

Supposedly, she can rap, too.

Sweetheart, can you speak up?

System malfunctioning.

Take it from a friend.

Take it or leave it.

Take me to the Ice Box, please!

Take them to the Ice Box.

Take your mask off, Wade.

Taking out mass murderers, gangsters,

Taking the hands out of the guns of the criminals!

Talk to me, Goose.

Talk!

Taxiing is not as sexy as it looks.

Tell me they got that in slow motion.

Tell me they got that in slow motion.

Terrific, these are all terrific.

Than the guy who invented pants.

Thank God I didn't have to use the cream cheese spreader.

Thank you, baby.

Thank you, Colossus.

Thank you!

Thank you.

Thank you. Yeah. Listen, we've all eaten at Arby's, okay?

Thank you...

That are worse than me at everything.

That babysitter of yours is high as fuck right now...

That came out wrong.

That gun is amazing!

That gun is amazing!

That I care about, and she's gone.

That I've always dreamed of having and I...

That is looking to turn your skull into a fuckable ashtray.

That is so not practical.

That is such a Juggernaut thing to say.

That is the biggest guy in here.

That kid was abused!

That makes two of us.

That piece of shit...

That place makes Hitler's anus look like Waikiki.

That plan was written in crayon.

That riddle is so fucked up.

That was absolutely thrilling.

That was effervescent.

That was nice for me.

That was our cell.

That was probably a bad idea.

That was some cold ass shit, kid.

That wasn't me.

That you guys have really rubbed off on me.

That you'll start judging people...

That'll get us toned and prepared

That's all it takes to be a hero.

That's all the diabetes.

That's disturbing.

That's exactly what she meant.

That's genuine, high grade lead.

That's how we do it

That's just lazy writing.

That's just the most beautiful thing that I've...

That's kind, but I'm not ready to date again.

That's my boy.

That's my fucking pudding.

That's not a superpower.

That's not CGI, folks. He's actually on fire.

That's not my hand.

That's okay. Let me see here.

That's precisely what a racist would say.

That's pretty obvious!

That's right! I'm fighting dirty!

That's such a you thing to say!

That's the exact opposite

That's the stuff! That's the X Force spirit!

That's unfortunate.

That's what my Grandma Ginny used to...

That's why it's high time that you had a super suit.

That's why you're such a little bastard.

That's why!

That's your main course.

The bear.

The day of reckoning is here!

The difference is night and day.

The first movie made more money

The first order of business is

The first thing I wanna do when I get out of here...

The fuck?

The good news is,

The hell you doin' here?

The hell's happening? Describe it.

The hollow point through that fuckhead's face?

The indecision is killing me.

The industry discriminates.

The Juggernaut

The Juggernaut!

The kid!

The last thing I need is more hepatitis.

The longer I travel, the harder it is to control.

The Lord works in mysterious ways,

The McRib to be available year round,

The monster's with them. I wouldn't fuck with him.

The Muppet's dick.

The name's Cable.

The one in Minneapolis. You know the one.

The point is, kids...

The point is, our group will be forward thinking.

The point is...

The Proposition has a wonderful

The refrigerator? I'm in so much pain.

The sex trafficker in your eyes.

The thing that pisses me off the most...

The wall?

The whole team?

Then I joined the X Men.

Then the hairy motherfucker ups the ante by dying.

Then what are you doing here with us?

Then you know what?

Then, I'm gonna take his skin...

There are people in this fucking world...

There are people...

There are two police vehicles that are overturned.

There he goes.

There it is.

There they are! Those freaks!

There was a bunch

There was a bunch of

There we go. The kids call this docking.

There will be no need for that here.

There you are. Hey!

There you go, Dopinder.

There you go, little fella.

There's a reason why I'm here, and I'll know when I know.

There's a time for us. It's just not now.

There's a wind advisory in effect until at least...

There's a wind advisory in effect.

There's gotta be some way to die.

There's no locks on our doors, no bars on our windows.

There's nothing I can't kill.

There's one bullet left in that gun.

There's one out there for you.

There's only one person in this world

These collars don't just come off.

These restraints are pretty...

They can't just dust off one of the famous X Men?

They do stick better than tape.

They give us a chance to be better than we are.

They got the legs out, and they said,

They have no concept of it

They keep a monster in the basement.

They say laughter heals anything...

They say millennials are the hardest to reach.

They will not replace us.

They're headed into the tunnel.

They're moving us tomorrow.

They're soft, they're moist. They're for babies.

Think everyone did.

This did not go according to plan.

This doesn't end with us riding into the sunset.

This franchise 10 to 12 years.

This has happened before?

This is a side of you I do not like.

This is Convoy 17 departing the Ice Box.

This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy.

This is not what the website looked like at all.

This is the family

This is the fifth incident.

This kid needs to be in the Ice Box, not here.

This kid's adorable.

This may not be family you want...

This one is yours.

Those bullets were, like, super fast.

Those guys hurt you?

Those muties are being transferred

Those were already damaged after they fell there!

Though no one's ever seen it,

Tick, tock. Meter's running!

Time to make the chimichangas.

Time to make the chimichangas.

Time to sweep the leg, Johnny.

To a prostate assisted orgasm.

To a supermax, 80 miles away.

To draw off of for Todd.

To get back in the saddle again.

To get me in front of Cable...

To get my revenge.

To keep Josh Brolin employed.

To put him on a different path.

To put your finger on the pulse of society?

To save someone's soul? That's not...

To see my face reflected in your helmet...

To snatch up the nearest muffin crumb?

To stop Cable from killing that kid.

To the dewy slopes of six weeks ago.

To this guy, Sergei Valishnikov.

To understand why I took a cat nap

Toddler style.

Together.

Toilet paper is a pretty fine appetizer.

Toilet paper.

Told you this little fucker's too far gone.

Told you.

Tomorrow, we'll find the biggest guy in here...

Too exotic?

Too much? I went too far.

Trademark Fox.

Traffic?

Trainee!

Trainee!

Trainee!

Trainee.

Transport to Cross Force Maximum Security

Tries to kill a 14 year old boy?

True heroism in action.

True story.

Trust me, I'm even less happy about this than you are...

Trust me, that's a terrible idea.

Try again.

Try, uh, seven?

Turns out Domino's a bit of a badass,

Turns out that I'm the lucky one.

Two can play that game!

Two mutants were arrested

Two, do people still homebrew?

Ugh.

Ugh. Is that really necessary?

Ugh. So gross.

Uh, Earl!

Uh, I have both Type 1 and 2 Diabetes.

Uh, that's a negative, sole survivor.

Uh, uh, uh...

Um, I just saw the ad.

Uncanny X Men 183. Thor 411.

Understatement of the year.

Unspeakable monsters.

Until one day, he kills the wrong fucking people.

Use my arms as backpack straps.

Vanessa is gone. She's not coming back.

Vanisher could make it.

Vanisher, I have no doubt you look amazing too.

Vanisher!

Vanisher.

Velcro. Color coded, efficient,

Wade, is that you?

Wade, what are you doing?

Wade, whoever they are...

Wade, you gotta go home.

Wade, Yukio.

Wade!

Wade! I heard what happened with the convoy and...

Wade! What was first rule?

Wade?

Wade?

Wade?

Wade.

Wade.

Wade...

Wait, hold on. What?

Wait, wait, wait! I wanna do mine over.

Wait, wait, wait! Please, just give me a second!

Wait! He hasn't killed anyone yet!

Wait. One of the assholes

Wait. What do you mean

Wait. You can't go back.

Walk away! Just walk away!

Watch my back. I've got the old man.

Watch out for this guy, Cable!

We all need a genuine sense of home.

We all need a sense of belonging.

We are en route.

We are in your debt.

We are not going anywhere.

We beat them overseas,

We can fix that.

We can take it from here.

We can use him.

We can't be sure until I get this suit off...

We did it!

We do. We'll always have Bowie.

We don't have a lot of time.

We got no brakes!

We have 8 weeks of boot camp ahead of us, men.

We have everything under control.

We have mission.

We made a pretty good team.

We make a great team!

We must talk.

We need 'em tough, morally flexible...

We need a secret code.

We need the code.

We need to build a fucking team.

We should just cue the music.

We should leave before Fuckernaut wakes up.

We track them down and bring them to justice.

We were gonna be a family.

We were gonna start a family.

We were, uh...

We'll do it together. It's no big deal.

We'll let karma take care of him.

We'll sleep well tonight.

We'll take your word for it.

We're a team.

We're all going to die.

We're better than him!

We're definitely naming our kid Cher!

We're getting close!

We're gonna lose 'em. I'm dropping in.

We're gonna work down it.

We're here.

We're like thugs, we're like gangsters.

We're no longer accepting applications

We're not partners or friends.

We're talking about an armored convoy...

We're the X Men!

Welcome home, Russell. We missed you.

Well, as Scoutmaster Kevin used to say...

Well, come here.

Well, come here.

Well, guess what, Wolvie?

Well, hello there, new fish.

Well, I got news for you.

Well, I guess we found something

Well, I'm not even gonna attempt that.

Well, if you're so lucky,

Well, not raised. I was tortured.

Well, Russell.

Well, you guys be safe out there.

Well.

Well...

What a dick.

What a grown man with baby balls looks like.

What about Bruce?

What about Krystal? But with a "K"?

What about your girl, your wife?

What am I gonna do, Al?

What am I supposed to do around here, anyway?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What can we help you with?

What coked out, glass pipe sucking

What did I do to piss off a grumpy old fucker

What did you say?

What do those do anyway, huh?

What do you do?

What do you get

What do you say we go fuck some shit up?

What happened?

What have we done?

What in the ass?

What in the fuck knuckles is this?

What in the...

What is it? What's wrong?

What is that? That's not a real rope!

What kind of dumbass question is that to ask?

What kind of spineless shit stick

What kind of spineless shit stick

What the fuck do you want?

What the fuck?

What the hell are you...?

What the hell? I'm about to be fucking sick!

What was that?

What was your first clue?

What year is it?

What, with your concave chest

What, you mean that your...

What, you shoot luck lasers out of your eyes?

What?

What?

What? Why are you winking at me?

What's Juggernaut got that I don't have?

What's so bad about toilet paper?

What's that do?

What's that supposed to mean?

What's the most pain you've ever felt?

What's this one do?

What's with the creepy, dirty hobo bear?

What's with the dirty, disgusting hobo bear?

What's your name?

What's your poison? A little, uh, cokey cokey?

What's your superpower?

What's your superpower? Cultural appropriation?

Whatever.

When hard, and you always make it hard.

When I get really scared, I get nervous erections.

When the hero hits rock bottom.

When this is over...

When Tom Cruise fed

When was the last time you saw a plus sized superhero?

When you take eight feet of chrome...

Where did the rest of the team land?

Where I could pull the string and get out.

Where is he? I can't see him.

Where is this coming from, man?

Where it can't not hurt us ever again.

Where the hell are we going?

Where there's no such thing as religion.

Which is also off putting.

Which literally translates to...

Which would makes sense, wouldn't it? Yeah.

While making heavy eye contact and applying lip balm.

While we go get our fuck on!

Who are healed by my hand.

Who are healed...

Who are you?

Who gets to make the first joke?

Who is he talking to?

Who killed Vanessa got away.

Who lives here, Calista Flockhart?

Who says that rules aren't meant to be broken?

Who says you can't go home again?

Who would choose to stay in such a place?

Who?

Who's Captain Delicious Pants?

Who's, like, my favorite Marvel character ever...

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa! Pump the hate brakes, Fox & Friends.

Whoever planned this stunt's

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo! Do not go in there!

Whoo! X Force!

Why are you dressed like the Unabomber?

Why are you protecting the kid?

Why couldn't God take my hearing?

Why do you think I'm helping him?

Why don't the kids just run?

Why don't you just say it in an Indian accent?

Why is your hand so tiny again?

Why not travel back to when he was a baby, kill him then?

Why would I rub your legs?

Why would I rub your legs?

Why wouldn't you cover that up?

Why?

Why'd you say that back there? We're friends, partners.

Will begin at 0600.

Will begin at 0800 hours.

With a Winter Soldier arm?

With that pity dick in your mouth.

With this collar on,

With training, you can be X Man.

With your ears.

Without buying shoes online?

Wonderful kid.

Woodpecker.

Would want you to do the right thing, wouldn't she?

Wow! Enjoy hell, swamp mouth.

Wow! It's your cosmic reason for being here.

X Force is just a marketing tool

X Force!

X Force.

X Force.

X Force.

X Men Unlimited 12.

X Men! Men!

Y'all caught up now?

Yeah, but he's in a wheelchair, so even steven.

Yeah, but what does that mean?

Yeah, but what I mean is, like, the world "selfless."

Yeah, but you do. Look at you.

Yeah, getting old's not for sissies.

Yeah, he's got anger issues...

Yeah, probably should've

Yeah, something like that.

Yeah, you got a big, old stinky in there, don't you?

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Fuck!

Yeah. Just a touch of cancer.

Yeah. Where was I?

Yeah. You know I get paid to take out bad guys, right?

Year.

Yeesh.

Yes, I do.

Yes, I have one right here.

Yes, sir.

Yes, you are. Well, we'll take care of that, won't we?

You all know the plan.

You are a criminal, a fugitive.

You are an abomination!

You are not judge, jury or executioner!

You are not your father.

You are ready. I'm not.

You are unwell.

You become everything he says you are, but worse.

You broke my heart, Wade.

You came for me.

You can do this.

You can't get it off. Unless you've got a grenade.

You can't help yourself.

You can't help yourself.

You can't stop me, Wade!

You can't stop me!

You commie motherfucker!

You could not scrub it enough.

You did this for me?

You do not wanna go to the Ice Box.

You don't look like much to me.

You don't need to be funny here.

You don't need to do this! Let's talk!

You don't wanna hurt anyone.

You get back here, young man!

You get back to your family. You tell 'em Wade says hi.

You get the strap on. Let's make a super baby.

You got 30 seconds, you jabbering butt plug!

You got no family.

You got this, big guy! Here we go, Peter!

You gotta grab those dreams,

You gotta handle a mop before you handle a gun.

You gotta pump a baby in me first, cowboy.

You guys make a super cute couple.

You guys stay there.

You have a good heart.

You hear yourself, right?

You heard me.

You killed Black Tom, you racist son of a bitch!

You kind of killed him.

You know what "fine" stands for, Wade?

You know what we need to do?

You know what,

You know, historically,

You know, it has always been a dream of mine...

You know, the depth of your heart is extraordinary.

You know, you guys look amazing!

You let me down for the last time, Wade.

You live in this dump. Guess what?

You may have fooled Colossus with this nice guy shit...

You might wanna get it steam cleaned.

You might wanna start talking!

You must be wondering why I didn't call you here.

You need fresh start.

You never cease to surprise me.

You picked the wrong shithole to fuck, future boy.

You probably get this a lot, but I am a huge fan.

You remind me of my wife.

You sacrificed yourself for me.

You sacrificed yourself for me.

You said it yourself.

You said it yourself.

You see that bus?

You should probably head back to the car.

You should've heard it.

You shut your goddamn trash mouth!

You smell like a dog ate kitty litter...

You smell like sauerkraut left in the warm rain.

You stay because...

You stay here with your weird, secret sex lips.

You think we didn't jump out of the plane

You time sliding son of a bitch!

You trusted me. I took that trust...

You used the last of your fuel.

You wanna borrow a pair of pants?

You wanna die?

You wanna fucking die?

You wanna survive?

You were right, Wade. You are not X Men material.

You'd have to be insane to take off in this.

You'd think the studio would throw us a bone.

You'll do no such thing.

You'll find out.

You're a goddamn superhero, you!

You're a good kid, Russell.

You're a long way from your superpowers.

You're a lot smarter than I look.

You're a lot smarter than I look.

You're a superhero now, bubba.

You're about to get dick slapped.

You're broken.

You're doing great.

You're embarrassing me. Look, Fire...

You're exhausting.

You're gonna kill someone today...

You're hired.

You're in this shit now, Mustache!

You're in.

You're just a kid.

You're just an annoying clown dressed up as a sex toy.

You're just straight shirt cocking it,

You're looking at it.

You're lucky I didn't shoot you in the...

You're making the face that you make when you urinate.

You're my Tom Cruise!

You're not a fucking hero.

You're not better at.

You're not giving me a lot of direction here.

You're not the revenge type.

You're right. I was fighting a caped badass.

You're ruining everything!

You're sick, I gotta protect you.

You're so dark!

You're still using my Velcro labels. Aw.

You're supposed to be the toughest cunt in here.

You're the one who said I was ready,

You're wasting your time, Shiny Jesus.

You're welcome, Canada.

You've been chosen by a higher power.

You've been sitting here for three days, okay?

Your abilities...

Your boy's gonna kill the headmaster

Your brother tries to read your mind?

Your cheek, maybe a little bit in the beard.

Your cosmic reason for being here.

Your crazy matches my crazy.

Your entire generation fucked this planet into a coma.

Your F word.

Your face smells like shit. Right?

Your friend's about to make his first kill.

Your heart needs to be in the right place.

Your heart's in the wrong place, big guy.

Your heart's not in the right place.

Your heart's not in the right place.

Your legs, though, they're cute.

Your souls are beyond redemption!

Yukio, Wade.

Yup.

Zip it, black Black Widow! I'm flowing.

Zip it, Thanos! We have a deal and you fuck...

Zip it. We're not friends.

5 years old. That's what?

10 year old Kirsten Dunst blood

20 years old, shrapnel.

30 seconds.

30 seconds.

30 seconds.

40 years old, disease.

50 years from now, you're very dead.

"Rusty" is terrible. Toughie.

and I had to, uh... Uh uh.

Black Tom Cassidy. White Wade Wilson.

But I did have to help a kid. Yeah.

Bye, Wade! Bye, Yukio!

Courage. That's adorable.

Deal. Deal.

Did he just call himself God? I think he did.

Do not escalate! Rules are meant to be broken!

Dopinder... Hmm?

Firefist. Firefist.

Fuck your pudding! You like pudding?

Gary. My name's Peter.

Give us the line again. I need your help!

He did it for me. Jesus.

He's got a terrible name. It's just awful.

Hi, Yukio. Hi, Wade!

Huh? Got a match?

I am in the back. Right here!

I told you! Leave me alone! Come on!

I want to fill my... Pockets?

I was talking to him. Oh.

I'd like to go home. And I'd like...

I'm sorry. Uh huh.

Is he pissing? I'm on it!

Is there, like, a Sorting Hat? Hi.

It doesn't have to be him. If you knew what I knew...

It is Glen, isn't it? Daniel.

It's like, um... Here we go.

Jesus Christ! Looks like an avocado.

Jesus. R Dog?

Kubler Ross. Yeah.

Legs! Still hurts to hear out loud!

Meet... Domino.

No, it isn't. Yes, it is.

No. No.

No. That's fine.

No. Yes.

Oh. Do you want me

Open yours. All right, all right.

Pretty sure you did. No, I'm positive I didn't.

Russell! Stay back! Go home, Wade!

Russell. Bingo!

Shall we? This is gonna be fun.

So you're an alien, I guess. Bad name.

So, uh, where are you from? The planet Mojo World.

There are open fires. Fuck off! Stay back!

There's a knife in your dick. I'm just gonna back up now.

They need you. Who?

to demonstrate? No!

Trainee! Shut it!

Trainee. Thank you, Bedlam.

Ugh. I tried to tell him.

under me. What will you do?

Wade, what did you do? Colossus, no!

Wade? I'm right here, Althea.

Wander the Earth... I'm in.

We must get the collar off. Forget it. It's no use.

What more do you need to see? Don't you fucking dare!

What? You heard me.

What? You said...

What? No! Best I can do.

What's your shtick? I'm lucky.

Whoo! Oh, I shit my pants.

will kill you all. Fair enough.

with police here behind me. Get away from me!

Yeah, it is. No, it isn't.

Yeah, it is. No, it isn't.

Yeah, it is. No, it isn't.

Yeah, it is. Really isn't.

Yeah, we're X Force. We're X Force.

Yeah, yeah. No need to go full Yentl.

Yes, it is. No, it isn't.

Yes, it is. No, it isn't.

You can always tell! We have rules!

You can't stay. No, no, no.

You did. I really didn't.

You stole that from Robocop! That's from Robocop!

You're doing great. X Force.

You're gonna be fine! This is not good, man!

...several police cars were destroyed

...then it's gotta be me.

...who are healed by my hand!

...with what appears to be a trainee.

'Cause I could shove either one up your ass and kill you.

'Cause I got a long history of firing at times like this!

'Cause I know what you're thinking.

'Cause where the fuck is everyone?

"anyone ever, no matter how bad.

"Heart's in the right place."

"Heart's in the right..." What does that mean?

"I can't hear you with that pity dick in your mouth."

"I care about you"? 'Cause goddamn it,

"I just don't have enough confidence."

"I want some more."

"I'm not your friend. Find someone stronger."

"I'm so glad I left the kiddos at home."

"I'm thinking it over!"

"Let's fuck some shit up" is my legal middle name.

"Please, stop cheating on me."

"Rule number one. No killing...

"Rule two. Label everything in refrigerator."

"Speak up."

"The Time Traveler's Wife's" husband...

"There's a first time for everything, son."

"under control" vibe here, Marty.

"You know what, I'm done."

♫ Can you hear me? ♫

♫ Papa, can you find me in the night? ♫

♫ Papa, can you hear me? ♫

♫ Papa, can you hear me? ♫

♫ Papa, can you hear me? ♫

♫ Papa, can you see me? ♫

♫ Papa... ♫