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The Great Muppet Caper (1981) Title: The Great Muppet Caper (1981) - A Delightful Muppet Adventure! Introduction: Released in

The Great Muppet Caper (1981)

Title: The Great Muppet Caper (1981) - A Delightful Muppet Adventure!

Introduction:
Released in 1981, "The Great Muppet Caper" is a delightful comedy-musical film that continues the beloved Muppet legacy. Directed by Jim Henson, this iconic movie showcases the Muppets at their finest, combining humor, adventure, and catchy musical numbers for audiences of all ages to enjoy. Join Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, and the rest of the Muppet gang on a zany journey filled with laughter, romance, and sheer Muppet magic!

Plot and Characters:
"The Great Muppet Caper" takes our lovable Muppet characters out of their typical television show setting and plunges them into an exciting and glamorous caper. Kermit, Miss Piggy, and Fozzie play themselves as investigative journalists who travel to London to solve a jewelry heist. They get entangled in a devious plot involving a high society jewel thief, Lady Holiday, played by Diana Rigg, who has been wrongly accused.

Kermit, the film's protagonist, finds himself mesmerized by Lady Holiday's receptionist, Miss Piggy, who is also captivated by him. Alongside Fozzie, they weave through hilarious escapades while gathering evidence to prove Lady Holiday's innocence. As they navigate their way through the city, they encounter various eccentric characters, played by renowned actors like Charles Grodin, John Cleese, and Peter Ustinov.

Humor and Musical Numbers:
As with any Muppet production, "The Great Muppet Caper" is filled with clever humor and a plethora of laugh-out-loud moments. The Muppets' trademark wit and comedic timing shine through every scene, whether it's Fozzie's hilarious one-liners or Gonzo's outlandish stunts.

One of the highlights of the movie is undoubtedly its toe-tapping musical numbers. From the high-energy opening number "Hey, A Movie!" to the charming Miss Piggy solo "The First Time It Happens," the songs are catchy and memorable. Penned by the talented Joe Raposo, the film's soundtrack perfectly captures the Muppets' enthusiasm, adding an extra layer of fun to the overall experience.

Cast:
"The Great Muppet Caper" features a stellar cast, blending the Muppet performers alongside acclaimed actors and celebrities. The main Muppet performers include:

1. Jim Henson – Kermit the Frog, Dr. Teeth, Rowlf the Dog, Waldorf, Swedish Chef, and more.
2. Frank Oz – Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Sam Eagle, Animal, and more.
3. Jerry Nelson – Floyd Pepper, Robin, Lew Zealand, Camilla, and others.
4. Richard Hunt – Scooter, Statler, Janice, Beaker, and more.
5. Dave Goelz – Gonzo, Zoot, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Beauregard, and others.

Among the human cast members are Diana Rigg as Lady Holiday, Charles Grodin as the sly Nicky Holiday, John Cleese as the charm-impaired Neville, and Peter Ustinov as the quick-witted truck driver. Their performances complement the Muppets, creating a seamless world where humans and puppets interact naturally.

Conclusion:
"The Great Muppet Caper" (1981) is a timeless Muppet masterpiece that continues to captivate audiences of all ages. With a charming storyline filled with adventure, romance, and humor, this film showcases the magic of the Muppets at their absolute best. The clever dialogue, energetic musical numbers, and lovable characters make it a must-watch for Muppet fans and anyone looking for a lighthearted and entertaining experience.

Whether you're a longtime Muppet enthusiast or a newcomer to their world, "The Great Muppet Caper" promises an unforgettable journey punctuated by laughter, heartwarming moments, and toe-tapping songs. Be prepared to fall in love with the ever-charismatic Kermit, the dazzling Miss Piggy, the lovable Fozzie, and the rest of the Muppet gang all over again. So grab the popcorn, gather the family, and get ready to embark on an exciting adventure with the Muppets!

(Note: Although the sounds associated with the movie are not available for play and download in this text, feel free to explore online resources or movie streaming platforms to enjoy the fantastic soundtrack and audio of "The Great Muppet Caper").

A cloud of lavender starburst pleating surrounds our next model.
A dream come true
A dream come true
A dream in hyacinth blue chiffon
A ha!
A jar of calf's foot jelly?
A miracle of beauty
A miracle of spring
A pig was climbing up the outside of the house?
A satin collar and velvet vest
A universe of charms
A very brief cameo.
A virtually impregnable fortress,
A vision of loveliness
A, credit card. B, cash.
Above a tight bodice with a cleverly d****d dΓ©colletage.
Absolutely.
Actually that's not so much a restaurant, more a supper club.
Actually, this is the wrong slip.
Adios, mon chΓ©ri.
Again?
Ah, my assistant Beaker will check it out.
Ah, sure you do. Little green guy.
Ah, you recall that pig I mentioned?
Ah! Uh...
Ah.
Ah.
Ah. Daring.
Ah. Sorry.
Ah. Thank you, Jeeves.
Ah. This is me reeking grandeur.
Ah. Well, there's the Dubonnet Club.
Aieee!
All complemented by the cloudy folds of blue
All my diamonds are valuable.
All my girls are going around looking like barnyard animals.
All out for England!
All right, everybody.
All right, everybody. Keep it moving. Don't linger.
All right, team.
All right. All right, all right, all right.
All right. If that's what you want.
All right. So Bernie comes to you, he says,
All that's fair or fine or wonderful
All the world's ever wanted was you
All the world's ever wanted was you
Along with a... A lizard.
Am I dressed right for this?
And a lot of fuss That ends for us real happily
And all of a sudden they're turning into juvenile delinquents,
And all our friends from the Happiness Hotel to help.
And borrows my cars without asking permission.
And can learn to stand the smell
And certainly he's not to be trusted.
And don't ask me why
And don't forget to tip him.
And for each moment that it lasts
And for each moment that it lasts
And Gonzo, he's our photographer. And it's gonna be terrific.
And Gonzos.
And he has categorically no prospects.
And here's The Herald.
And how complete it is
And how complete it is
And I can see horrendous mistakes.
And I don't know why his bow ties are always crooked.
And I heard 'em planning to steal the Baseball Diamond.
And I see the way you've got your hand around that little shoe,
And I would like to be a high fashion model.
And I'm so beautiful.
And it looks like ladies' night here at the gallery.
And it might have been my imagination, but, uh, I think she found me attractive.
And it's charging less.
And it's got the wrong address
And it's nice bold print, isn't it?
And just when you thought
And just when you thought
And last but not least...
And me
And me.
And me.
And me.
And me.
And me.
And my portfolio all the way here to London
And now here's delicious Darla
And now,
And now, the Lady Holiday swimwear collection.
And of course the weekend was perfectly frightful.
And on this wall here...
And play me my music
And so you fall
And so you fall
And straighten my tie
And stuff like you would never see
And that's all I need. I know your whole story.
And the day before.
And the elevator's stuck
And the equipment breaks down
And the first thing we have to do is make our plans.
And the whole dang thing Has been condemned
And there's a slightest chance that somebody might even get killed.
And they're getting the stuff out faster because they got more help.
And this is very special, Kermie.
And those girls standing in the back.
And though you feel much more
And we were wondering if you could recommend a nice hotel.
And we'll catch those jewel thieves for you.
And you gotta scream just before they get the food to their mouth.
And you know what?
And you need to rest a spell
And you sunk it into the glass slipper business.
And you went out and bought a dry cleaning establishment.
And you, Darla.
And your insurance policy
And your sister moves in with you
And your wife is saying to you,
And, um, straighten up the office.
Any smokies between me and Blimeytown?
Anyone for the Happiness Hotel?
Anyway, I want you to answer the telephone while I'm gone
Anyway. When we get there tonight, just act naturally.
Appetizers not four course meals.
Are bears allowed in those fountains?
Are the credits over?
Are these your friends?
Are you crazy? That's about a hundred feet.
Are you quite under control?
Are you really going to go without me tonight?
Are you sure we can afford this?
Aren't you happy we're here?
Argh!
Argh!
Argh!
As easy as pie
As from Monday, the fabulous Baseball Diamond
At times like this I am proud to be an American.
Aw, come on. It'll be a great memento for you and your wife.
Aw, he's just upset about missing
Aw.
Awfully disappointing weather today.
Back it up here.
Bag of chickens?
Be dazzled by the magic of one smile
Beaker goes into the windup.
Bears wear hats.
Beauregard.
Beautiful.
Because he squandered his half of the inheritance
Because she was dancing.
Because that jerk Bernie, he went and joined the circus.
Because we've got a plan and we're gonna prove you're innocent.
Being aloof.
Being demure.
Besides, she couldn't have stolen the necklace
Big deal, anybody can do that.
Bigger?
Blowtorch? Who said anything about a blowtorch?
Boy, a classy place like this,
Boy, another crash landing. That was terrible.
Boy, do I feel ashamed.
Boy, I sure could use something
Boy, I wish I had whiskers.
Boy, I wish I were you people, seeing this for the first time.
Boy, it's a good thing you didn't tell everybody
Bravo!
Bravo!
Breaker one, this is Hamhock. Do you read me'?
Bummer.
Bus terminals. River banks.
Busting into the upper crust
But how are we gonna get to London?
But I had to bring him into the business
But I was rather taken aback by the flutter of godets.
But I'm a bear.
But if the road's been kinda bumpy
But it's all in fun You paid the money, wait and see
But my brother Nicky insisted that I wear it.
But now, guess what number.
But that's still no excuse for blowing a story.
But underneath I know you're still the same beautiful,
But we gota the pepperoni.
But we treat 'em all as equals
But with us on call We'll fix it all real easily
But you lied to me. You used me.
But you'll never beat the price
But you're running out of luck
But, Nicky, why are you doing this?
But...
By American Express
Bye bye.
C, sneak out in the middle of the night.
Can I ask you a couple of questions now?
Can I see that slip?
Can somebody turn out the light?
Can you reach the hostess call button? I'm hungry.
Carla. The neckline on that gown is too high, don't you think?
Carry on. I'll be back in an hour.
Catch it. Get him!
Catch you later, Stanley.
Check.
Chuck it to me, Beakie baby.
Climbing up the outside of the house, dear.
Come on, carrot top.
Come on, girls. Let's get out of here.
Come on, guys. Get him.
Come on, join in We're gonna start right here
Come on, Rizzo.
Come on!
Come polish my wing tips
Come toss me my top hat
Come, dear, I hardly think it's necessary for both of us to...
Consider it done. Mmm. Oh.
Couldn't we fly?
Couldn't we ride?
Dad spoke well of you, too.
Daffodils, Miss Piggy
Did you leave them in your other pants?
Did you read these headlines? Huh?
Did you want me to stop or what?
Do you know where Lady Holiday's Baseball Diamond is being kept?
Do you recognize this?
Doesn't surprise me.
Don't blame yourself.
Don't go home yet.
Don't hate me, Miss Piggy.
Don't put a door between us.
Don't try to order dinner
Don't we have a gig around here, or something or somewhere?
Don't worry because I've got Gonzo and Fozzie
Don't worry, Miss Piggy. We'll get you out of this.
Don't worry. it adds human interest.
Eat through bars.
Eat through the bars!
Ecstasy, Miss Piggy
Especially since you two guys don't look anything alike.
Evening.
Everybody
Everybody and...
Everybody in the world
Everything that's lovely Warm and spring, Miss Piggy
Excuse me, I don't think that belongs to you.
Excuse me, Lady Holiday, will you be hiring any more pigs?
Excuse me?
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Here, put this on.
Fantastique. And thank you, Carla.
Fantasy, Miss Piggy
Finishing with roses
For a minute we've got a chance
For complimenting you on your necklace?
For freedom.
For God's sake. Straighten that tie.
For honesty.
For once the forecast was right.
For sure. A love song.
For the first time
For the first time
Forgive me, Miss Piggy.
Forming a teeny weeny hat.
Forming the perfect flower framing hat.
Forty five words a minute. About average.
Fozzie, are you okay?
Fozzie, how do we get in?
Fozzie, this is all very embarrassing.
Free.
From one or more of the basic food groups.
From the Mallory Gallery.
Funnily enough, I do. It's at the Mallory Gallery,
Gangway! Watch it. Coming through.
Gee, a lot of people worked on this movie.
Gee, are you okay?
Gee, Mr. Tarkanian.
Geronimo!
Get your filthy hands off me!
Give me my good friends
Give me my nightlife
Give me my nightlife
Give me my nightlife
Give me my nightlife
Glug!
Go ahead, Kermit.
Go and see Stanley immediately.
Go for it!
Go on and pluck me a boutonniΓ©re
Go on, Beaker.
Goggy!
Gonzo, are you okay?
Gonzo? Gonzo!
Gonzo. Gonzo.
Good evening, Lady Holiday.
Good heavens. Who are you?
Good idea. Here's the paper towels.
Good. Here.
Great Britain? We're actually in Great Britain!
Great news, gang. We can go!
Great. I'll be stuck in the big house for life.
Guess!
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Happiness Hotel? That sounds great.
Happiness, Miss Piggy
Happiness, Miss Piggy
Happy landing!
Have dinner with me tonight.
Have I got style? Mmm!
Have I got taste? Mmm!
Haven't been outside for 12 years.
He had to finish law school.
He says he's fed up.
He still gambles and incurs bad debts,
He's headed for the kitchen!
He's right.
He's second in command here and he's an irresponsible parasite.
Heads up, below!
Hello.
Hello.
Help! My jewels!
Here is a Muppet news flash.
Here's capricious Carla,
Hey, a movie
Hey, a movie
Hey, a movie
Hey, a movie
Hey, could you guys keep it down?
Hey, Fozzie. Come on, get your nose in here. It's really fun.
Hey, gimme that diamond, you crook.
Hey, guys, this is London.
Hey, guys!
Hey, hey, Kermit. How are we gonna pay for this?
Hey, I'm lucky to have a driver's license.
Hey, it's just up ahead there on the right.
Hey, Kermit, I'm getting hungry.
Hey, nice catch, Animal.
Hey, not bad.
Hey, relax, Kermit. I'll take care of it.
Hey, somebody's coming.
Hey, Waldorf, wake up. Here come the bikinis.
Hey, way to chuck, way to look, way to move!
Hey, you guys stay here. I'll find Lady Holiday.
Hey, you.
Hey! Hey, you! Hey!
Hey! There they are!
Hey! Why, you...
Hey.
Hey. Why don't you see if you can eat through these iron bars.
Hi yah!
Hi yah!
Hi.
Hi. Hello.
Highbrow Street, absolutely right.
Highbrow Street.
Hit it!
Hmm, right.
Hmm?
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hold it!
Hold it!
Hot potato! Keep away. Here we go.
How about you could feed it to the dogs?
How about you, folks?
How are we gonna get down there?
How are we supposed to cut through the bars
How come you don't have an English accent?
How could you miss a story like that?
How did you guess? Are you psychic?
How long are these opening credits?
How simple, how rare
How sweet it is
How sweet it is
Hubba hubba!
Huh?
Huh. This is nothing.
Huh. Would you believe it, Statler?
Hup. Whoo!
Hurry, Gonzo. There's gotta be a picture of somebody
I am not. I am trying to save this movie.
I am playing 800 different emotions.
I beg your pardon, young lady!
I brought some hot mustard. Maybe that'll eat through the bars.
I can offer you a job as a receptionist.
I can only take you as far as the lobby.
I can see it now.
I can sit. I'm very good at sitting.
I can take shorthand, I can make coffee.
I can't go on!
I didn't say it was a good suggestion.
I don't have no other pants.
I don't know why the cabs won't stop.
I don't know why you love her like you do.
I don't know why. I just do.
I don't know.
I don't know. I've always wanted to say that.
I don't know. Number 17?
I don't know. We're on the second floor.
I don't need this lousy duck pond here.
I don't think I'll ever be the same.
I don't think these belong to me.
I don't think this is the time for that type of humor.
I don't think we should strive for the fantail pigeon look, do you?
I don't want you to give us anything.
I feel as if thieves were breathing down my neck.
I found out the difference between wrong and right.
I found the white pleated collar alluring,
I got it. I got it. I got it.
I got it. Thank you. Be careful, guys.
I got some paper towels.
I guess this would be the wrong time to ask for a raise?
I had quite a scare. Thank God I wasn't hurt.
I hate to be rude, but, uh, we're trying to do a movie here.
I have brought my je ne sais quoi
I have grave doubts about wearing these jewels.
I just don't know how to get there.
I just love a happy ending
I keep mixing us up.
I know all about your career, Pig.
I know exactly what happened to you.
I know the plan. I just wish there was another way.
I know we'd get by
I know we'd get by
I know you are.
I know. How about a ride?
I know. The roof.
I left my wallet at home.
I love you, Rosenthal.
I mean, if I was bored I'd go out and buy something, wouldn't I?
I mean, nothing you've said has been right.
I mean, sure it is!
I must be getting senile.
I must've tripped.
I never ordered no pepperoni.
I never settle for second best
I only have a half an hour to get there.
I only lied because I wanted to be with you.
I read the one that has "Dear Abby."
I see. And what did they want?
I see. Fine.
I shall never have it either on my person
I spilled ketchup all over my cummerbund.
I suggest we jump.
I suggest you make a U turn.
I suppose you could try it once.
I think I'll read for a while.
I think I'm stuck.
I think it's the English River.
I think one of us should answer it, Neville.
I thought it a little outrΓ©,
I thought it was a very nice fall.
I thought so.
I thought we were in this thing together.
I thought you said the pets were dead.
I told you this would happen. That necklace was worth a fortune.
I was doing a little photographic essay on kneecaps,
I was looking for the men's room.
I wonder how far you could plummet before you blacked out.
I wouldn't even put it past him
I wouldn't mind.
I'd hate to see what the sad one looks like.
I'd like to come with you and help you pick one out.
I'd like to try this without the balloon.
I'll answer it!
I'll give you a raise!
I'll just close the door. It's very drafty.
I'll pick you up at your house. It must be beautiful.
I'll send you each a copy.
I'll sweep her right off Her feet wherever we are
I'll take a picture of it.
I'll take a picture of this chicken.
I'll take it! I'll take it!
I'll tell you what, Fozzie,
I'm coming, Kermie!
I'm Fozzie.
I'm going alone. So it's "me" not "we."
I'm having the time of my life, dear.
I'm just as scared as you are, but this has to be done.
I'm not listening to anything and I'm not giving you your job back.
I'm not too happy with some of the designs.
I'm ready to fly
I'm ready to fly
I'm so tired of the same type. Those tall, thin creatures
I'm trying to watch the movie.
I'm your attorney. That's the only way they'd let me in here.
I've always dreamed of being a Holiday model.
I've been there, my friend.
I've tried to be nice.
If nobody brought stuff to cut with?
If that's the Happiness Hotel,
If you got luggage keep it handy
If you hold him too long he'll just give you warts.
If you'll excuse me, I'm going out to dinner.
In a movie
In a swirl of apricot silk
In the new line before the show tomorrow.
Interesting range of emotions.
Is it, is it?
Is that a new photographer?
It all feels so rare
It all seems so right
It doesn't matter to me as long as it ends.
It helps to know a second language.
It is my destiny. I shall accept nothing less.
It is rather breathtaking, isn't it?
It just goes to show you can't trust anybody.
It must be 50 below in here.
It runs in the family.
It said it was going to rain cats and dogs.
It takes a while to get to know the town.
It was nice of The Chronicle to pay for our flight home.
It was quite graceful, actually.
It was rather disappointing yesterday.
It was right under your noses,
It's a high fly ball to Kermit the Frog.
It's been 45 minutes.
It's Lady Holiday, her necklace, it's been stolen.
It's nearly midnight.
It's okay. I landed on my head.
It's plot exposition. it has to go somewhere.
It's probably the same gang that pulled that first job.
It's right here on the slip. Medium pepperoni with double cheese.
It's the only way. Especially now the cops are starting to ask questions.
It's the pitch.
It's very realistic.
It's you
It's you
Just a push and we're on the way
Just a push and we're on the way
Just about another minute or so.
Just drench me in rich cologne
Just gimme your name and address and ten bucks.
Just keep your hands to yourself, turkey.
Just leave it to me.
Just like any other guest
Just one brief moment, Miss Piggy. Miss...
Just something so quiet
Just the ones on the fenders.
Just warmer and colder
Just warmer and colder
Just warmer and colder
Just watch my dreams come true
Just watch my dreams come true
Kermie! Oh! No wonder he hasn't come by to see me.
Kermit and his new flame.
Kermit and Lady Holiday? All right!
Kermit the Frog to date Lady Holiday. Details at 11:00.
Kermit, don't worry. it won't go outside this room.
Kermit, find out if they'll let me keep the costumes.
Kermit, I got a great picture of the chicken.
Kermit, I just want you to meet someone. This is Nicky Holiday.
Kermit, I'm sorry I left you last night at the nightclub.
Kermit!
Kermit. I think I've got a picture of the thief.
Kermit's got a date with Lady Holiday?
Lady Holiday! What's happened?
Lady Holiday?
Lady Holiday?
Lawyer? I don't have a lawyer.
Let me talk to 'em.
Let's go for it.
Let's go for it.
Let's hit the road. How about a little traveling music?
Let's see.
Lew Zealand leads off the order as we join the game.
Like cheese or quails' eggs.
Like the folds on a turkey's neck.
Lilacs and bluebells
Listen, nothing's gonna happen.
Listen, one thing, son.
Local poultry.
Look up. Hey, do you wanna make the front pages or not?
Look, Dad. There's a bear.
Look, the only reason I hired you two jerks
Look, why don't we forget about food and get a good night's sleep?
Look, you guys...
Loose where it should be tight and tight where it should be loose,
Lot of folks out here want to use the rest room.
Loud and clear, Hamhock.
Love song, love song.
Lovely pictures dance in your eye
Lovers sing, children dance
Ls there any way to stop it?
Luckily my radio's frozen to my wrist.
Luggage?
Marie. I don't think we should chew gum.
Maybe we could jump partway.
Me
Me and Fozzie play crack investigative reporters for The Daily Chronicle.
Me, too.
Me, too. I feel like two cents.
Me? Why me?
Milan speaking? Then put him on.
Miss Piggy, you are on your way.
Miss Piggy!
Miss Piggy?
Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy. Whoa.
Mmm hmm.
Mmm hmm. Did you decorate this place yourself?
Mmm mmm.
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm!
Mmm, you do?
Mmm?
Mmm.
Mmm.
Modeling is my life.
Movie stars.
Mr. Holiday, really, I'm very busy.
Mr. Holiday, this is Kermit, my special friend.
Mr. Holiday? Did you order a gross of flowered socks?
Music is in the air, the night is young,
Mwah! Love those fish eggs!
My ears are popping.
My jewels!
My name is Kermit the Frog and I've come all the way from America
My name is Miss Piggy
My wife is at home.
My wife isn't feeling very well.
Nah. The plane lands in Italy.
Name of a good restaurant. I told them the Dubonnet Club.
Negatory, Hamhock. You're free and clear.
Never stopped raining.
Neville, did you say
Next time they want stunts, they get a double.
Next time? Next time?
Nice title.
Nice to meet you.
Nice. Dark but nice.
Nicky?
No angels appearing
No angels appearing
No bolt from the blue
No dreams to arrange
No dreams to arrange
No magical change
No magical change
No matter where you wander
No time for cocktails.
No, because it is customary.
No, Christine, that's a frog.
No, no, no.
No, no, no. There's got to be another way.
No, no, no. You're the one with the fur.
No, no. Um... Not here.
No, no. We're bears and frogs.
No, that's, "You can't walk and chew gum at the same time."
No! No! I don't know anything about it!
No! Please! No. Please, please.
No.
Nobody reads those names anyway, do they?
Not a happy one, is it?
Not even for little old vous.
Not that he's grateful.
Nothing. It's just sort of amusing
Now look, beat it. I got a deadline to meet.
Now, another place opens up down the street
Now, darling, I want you to call the United States and tell Vogue
Now, I ask you, what paper would you buy?
Now, I can't be responsible for what might happen.
Now, I'll be lunching with my brother Nicky.
Now, if we wanna get Miss Piggy out of jail,
Now, this window probably has an alarm system on it.
Now, we're about to embark on a potentially dangerous mission.
Now, what we need, guys, is an exciting photo story.
Of course my diamonds were valuable.
Of course Paris should be notified.
Of course, then I'd have to use a blade.
Of course.
Oh, about 30,000 feet.
Oh, because you're Lady Holiday.
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!
Oh, boy, what do we do now?
Oh, boy!
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy. How close are we?
Oh, boy. We'd better synchronize our pacemakers.
Oh, couldn't you make an exception for little old moi?
Oh, dear me, no, no, no.
Oh, dear. Oh, you poor thing.
Oh, did I get my elbow in the shot?
Oh, do you?
Oh, don't worry, Marla. I'll stay right here with you.
Oh, good, that's where I'm going. How do you get there?
Oh, good.
Oh, good. Animal, do your stuff.
Oh, good. Well, we're going to London
Oh, great, the plane is landing.
Oh, here. I want to show you something.
Oh, hey, I was only joking.
Oh, I didn't know that. Gee, I'm sorry.
Oh, I don't. It's just that somehow along the road
Oh, I say!
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, I've missed you so... Rosenthal. It's been an eternity.
Oh, Kermie!
Oh, Kermie. Oh, I've missed you so.
Oh, Kermit, I'm sorry. Oh, please don't go, Kermit. Please.
Oh, Kermit, please, let me explain. Kermit.
Oh, Kermit, that was just silliness.
Oh, Kermit! Oh!
Oh, Kermit. Let us not talk business.
Oh, lam going to be a famous model. Oh, I'm so happy for me.
Oh, look at that. It's that guy sitting next to Lady Holiday
Oh, look. The Happiness Hotel.
Oh, man. No way we'll ever get up there.
Oh, maybe they're bringing hamburgers.
Oh, Miss Piggy, are you okay?
Oh, Miss Piggy, it's you
Oh, Miss Piggy, it's you
Oh, no, no. Wait a second, wait a second. It's when I get there.
Oh, no, we'll never get to England now.
Oh, no!
Oh, no. He's coming with us.
Oh, no. I think it's, "You can't pat your head
Oh, oh! I have a career of my own.
Oh, only on special occasions.
Oh, Piggy.
Oh, please, I'm sorry. Please.
Oh, right.
Oh, sure. it was just my nose.
Oh, thank you, thank you! Thank you!
Oh, thank you, whoever you are.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, that isn't necessary, Dorcas.
Oh, that's a good one.
Oh, that's just fine right there.
Oh, that's okay. They don't mind.
Oh, that's too bad. Maybe she should be at home.
Oh, that's very thoughtful of you.
Oh, thata slip.
Oh, there's no fire in the fireplace
Oh, we'll do better next time.
Oh, well, that's okay, Piggy.
Oh, wow. Wait till I tell the guys in the band.
Oh, yeah, but, like, okay, you know,
Oh, yeah, yeah. The hat.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah? Well, save your performance instead.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yes, darling. Yes, I'm fine.
Oh, yes. That'sa right. Here, sir.
Oh, you can call me Beauregard.
Oh, you think so?
Oh, you'd have to look a long way to find a chap
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! I never dreamed when I first began in this business
Oh! Is that all I have to do?
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh! What an honor. You're all so wonderful.
Oh! You poor thing.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Here, chicken!
Oh. I mean, I don't usually fall like that.
Oh. Ow! My knee. I think I've twisted it.
Oh. Uh, taxi!
Oh. Where are they?
Oh...
Okay, guys. Everybody out for the USA.
Okay, I guess.
Okay, I'll do my job. When I give the signal, you do yours.
Okay, let's take a few minutes.
Okay, okay.
Okay, the lobby's looking shabby
Okay.
Okay. Good. Now just keep going straight.
Okay. Here she comes, boy!
Okay. I'll pick you up at, shall we say...
Okay. Now we don't have any time to waste, so everybody gather 'round.
Okay. You guys all got your disguises in place?
Older than the hills.
On foot? You'll never make it.
On someone else, I swear
One caress, Miss Piggy
One caress, Miss Piggy
Ooh, we're going down!
Ooh.
Or anything, Miss Piggy
Or in my possession again.
Or we could both answer it.
Or we could get some sleep.
Or we get struck by lightning?
Otherwise they'd all be camped on her doorstep.
Our agent, you know, like, he says, I mean, like,
Pardon?
Pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time.
Penny for your thoughts.
People are dancing up and down on one leg out here.
Personally, I'd rather see shutters. Yes.
Phew.
Picture of the pitcher.
Pig, um...
Piggy, I'm sorry. We gotta get back to the movie though.
Pitcher, you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn!
Pitchy witchy, Beaker.
Please. The name is Rosenthal.
Popcorn, chicken?
Popcorn, popcorn. Get your red hot popcorn.
Pops, don't tell anybody. Kermit's got a date with Lady Holiday.
Por nada.
Practically bit you on the seat of the pants.
Pretty day, sunny sky
Pretty good looking duds.
Pretty nice lines, huh?
Pretty nice up here, isn't it?
Probably some highbrow street somewhere.
Pull.
Quiet!
Rah, rah, rah!
Really?
Renoir!
Right now, let's just be thankful we're here.
Right this way, young lady.
Roses, hyacinths,
Rowlf, hand me the blowtorch.
Say cheese!
Say cheese!
Say cheese!
Say cheese!
Say cheese.
Say, nice place you got here.
Say, this is nice.
Seems to be the way we're heading.
Sensitive, vulnerable woman I was out with the other night.
Seven o'clock.
Seven, seven.
Seven.
Shall we go?
Shame on you.
She certainly seems to know where she's going. It's time.
She's sensational.
She's wonderful. She's so wonderful.
Shh.
Shh.
Shh. Shh.
Shut up now.
Side by side?
Side by side?
Since you're such an investigative reporter, you figure it out.
Sing me the good times 'Cause I need the feeling
Smile.
Smile.
So busy. So much to do.
So far I'm not having any fun.
So if anybody wants out, now is the time to say it.
So it was. And the butler's dead?
So perfectly fair
So that means we've been here this time, what, five years?
So there I was, backstage under a table.
So what did you do?
So what else is new?
So, Kermit, tell me, what about Lady Holiday?
So, okay.
So, uh, where do you live?
So, uh... Listen.
So, what do you think about the d****s, hmm?
Somebody here called Pizza Twins, and that's us.
Somebody must've put it... You!
Somebody's checking in!
Somebody's checking in?
Somebody's just stolen my necklace.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Starring everybody
Starring everybody
Starring everybody
Stephanie, those false eyelashes are coming unglued.
Steppin' out with a star And feeling high
Steppin' out with a star And feeling high
Steppin' out with a star Bye, bad times
Steppin' out with a star Hey, good times
Steppin' out with a star Sad times, bye bye
Steppin' out with a star That star is you
Still got a good eye.
Still have to make some changes.
Still if you don't mind friendly animals
Still the management is cheerful
Still, as far as we can tell
Still, in all, he is my brother.
Still, there's no reason for me to stay here all the time.
Stimulated than I am, yes.
Stop the presses!
Summer soft sudden breeze
Sunny sky, pretty day
Sure is tempting.
Sure you don't need a lousy duck pond.
Sure, we have our little problems
Sure. They all have families.
Take that thing down off the ceiling.
Taking Lady Holiday's necklace.
Talk me that guitar And roll me that boogie
Taxi!
Taxi! Taxi!
Ten four, Dirty Bird. Much obliged.
Than springtime or snow
Than springtime or snow
Than springtime or snow
Than you dare to show
Thank you for choosing moi as model of the year.
Thank you very much, sir.
Thank you very much, sir.
Thank you, Stanley. Give Stanley a tip, Nicky.
Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. I knew I could count on each and every one of you.
Thank you. See, in this film,
That caviar was yummy.
That I would reach such lofty heights.
That is just for you and me to know, brother.
That man stole my jewels!
That narrows the field a bit.
That outfit's the pits.
That silver's turned to iron bars, Nicky.
That slip, sir, you said it had my name on it.
That slob that had been burying you for a year.
That the roast beef is the same price as an Oldsmobile.
That took a lot out of me.
That was my necklace. But where are the diamonds?
That was the doorbell, Neville.
That you've got to go
That'd be neat.
That's all I know.
That's it. The sky is clear.
That's more of a supper club than a restaurant.
That's my new receptionist dancing out there.
That's okay. There's no food either.
That's right. It'll be in our possession.
That's right. Kermit's got a date with Lady Holiday.
That's right. There's that old adage,
That's the chap. That's the chap.
That's the lingo we use here in the joint.
That's the sort of spur of the moment fellow I am.
That's two different things.
That's very effective.
That's why I don't want him to hear this.
That's your story, my friend.
That'sa right. We don'ta make them,
The back seat's been quarantined.
The Baseball Diamond will be ours.
The butler's been discharged, no one ever visits us.
The children are gone, the pets are dead,
The cookie jar just busted.
The cops!
The day before that was awfully disappointing, too.
The fabulous Baseball Diamond?
The fabulous Baseball Diamond.
The first time it happens
The first time it happens
The first time it happens
The first time it happens
The first time it happens, you know
The first time it happens, you know
The first time it happens, you know
The first time it happens, you know
The first time it happens, you know
The first time together
The first time you see her
The first time you see her
The first time you see her
The Happiness Hotel.
The last time I was bored, and never by you, my little armada...
The moment it happens
The one that was climbing up the side of the house?
The one who scarfed down all that caviar.
The pets are dead. The butler's been discharged.
The plane?
The Rembrandt exhibit at the National Gallery.
The skirt, a flutter of godets,
The teeth like pearls, soft skin.
The two of us. You missed a spot.
The weather. Awfully disappointing today.
The woman who was robbed?
The world is so bright
Then suddenly There's a whole new world
Then you took whatever money you had left
There could be physical violence, there could be gunplay,
There it is. The fabulous Baseball Diamond.
There you go, folks. Souvenir photograph.
There'll be crooks and cops
There'll be derring do
There'll be heroes bold There'll be comedy
There'll be mystery and catastrophe
There'll be spectacle There'll be fantasy
There'll be villainy
There's just no excuse.
There's no carpet on the floor
There's no kitchen anymore
There's no need for you to leave the house.
There's probably a bathtub and everything.
They can't have the photographs of the spring line until after the show.
They don't have to play this loud.
They don't serve food in ninth class.
They're heroes. Now they're gonna be obnoxious.
Thieves aren't breathing down your neck.
Things are really going to break as soon as we get our new glossies.
This is Dirty Bird. What's your 20, over?
This is for you.
This is great, Gonzo.
This is just the opening credits.
This is Lady Holiday.
This is Louis Kazagger with a play by play
This is my date with Lady Holiday.
This is something I was born to do
This is something I was born to do
This is terrific.
This is the closet.
This savoir faire Would be such a waste
This sceptered isle. This jewel of the North Atlantic.
Those dogs have nearly finished the pizza.
Those shoes are scuffed.
Those thieves are gonna try to steal Lady Holiday's Baseball Diamond
Though the whole joint's gone to hell
Though you're cleaner than the others
Time goes slow in the cooler.
Tip. Tip.
To interview you for The Daily Chronicle.
To match the confection of flowers and silk on her head,
To see you, the one and only Lady Holiday.
To the Happiness Hotel
To think that you and me were nobody
To try to steal my most valuable and largest jewel,
Too many frills and furbelows.
Tuesday at midnight we'll go to the Mallory Gallery.
Tuesday, midnight, at the Mallory Gallery.
Turn on your light and see for yourself.
Two minutes, pig.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Uh, can we talk about the jewel robbery now?
Uh, don't think me rude, but is there, in fact, anything I can do for you at all?
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Holiday, sir. Would you let Kermit go?
Uh, excuse me, where's Lady Holiday's office?
Uh, excuse me.
Uh, not quite.
Uh, there's a chair and some walls.
Uh, uh, uh, thata slip we left at home.
Uh, Well...
Uh, what, dear?
Uh, your jewels. The ones that were stolen.
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
Um, let me show you around.
Um, this, of course, is the drawing room.
Urn...
Urn...
Urn...
Urn...
Uses my charge accounts, eats my food
Very good, Beaker. Now it's perfectly safe.
Very popular choice.
Wacka wacka.
Wah! Oof!
Wait a minute! Wait! Hold it right there.
Wait a minute. What's this?
Wait for what you want, Lew, baby.
Wait till you see the end credits.
Waiter! Champagne, caviar.
Was because your old man was a friend of mine.
Was it you that screamed, "Aieee"?
Watch it, buster. Oh. Mr. Holiday, I'm sorry.
Watch out, guys. Kermit!
Watch out!
Watch the wind play tag in the trees
We are going to have ourselves a time tonight.
We can watch it all develop
We could've had something very, very special.
We could've had the world on a silver platter.
We don't want the bad guys to win.
We got the hammer down and we gone.
We have hot and cold running water.
We have to get up early to interview Lady Holiday.
We have to make drastic changes
We just want to give them a hint, a taste, a soupcon.
We just want to go to England and talk to Lady Holiday
We thought identical twins working on a newspaper
We'd like a room.
We'll fit right in
We'll get even with Lady Holiday tonight
We'll have breakfast in the morning.
We'll just have to improvise.
We'll make a ladder out of whatever will hold us.
We'll never rest until you're in our arms
We'll take C.
We'll take the world And set it on its ear
We're gonna have to catch those thieves red handed.
We're just gonna have to go down there and catch those thieves red handed.
We've got to do this for justice.
We've got to plant the goods on her to take the heat off us.
We've had a real good time and solved a crime real easily
Welcome to the wild world of Muppet sports.
Well, as you can see from this small sampling,
Well, catch him in another room.
Well, don't try it, Gonzo. We need you for this movie.
Well, excuse me.
Well, Fozzie, I figure this is something that I have to do alone.
Well, good buddy, we're westbound out of Highgate.
Well, he was in there just now,
Well, how about this...
Well, how do I look?
Well, I don't know. I still think that pig took it.
Well, I just want you to know that we're gonna get you out of here,
Well, I say all's well that ends well.
Well, I shall certainly think twice about it.
Well, I tell you, friend.
Well, I'm as sentimental as the next guy.
Well, I'm looking at three of the gowns now
Well, if there isn't it's gonna be a real short movie.
Well, it doesn't.
Well, it's a long story.
Well, Kermit, I guess that's it.
Well, looks like steering wheel souffle for dinner.
Well, now what do we do? I mean, how does this movie start?
Well, of course she found you attractive.
Well, thank you very much, Beauregard.
Well, thanks a lot for your help, sir.
Well, that's 'cause Fozzie's not wearing his hat.
Well, the weather's been most disappointing.
Well, try to play one of them right.
Well, uh, perhaps we could have dinner tonight?
Well, um...
Well, we could use some new luggage for the trip.
Well, we'll just have to do it again.
Well, we're developing these pictures. We'll be out as soon as we finish.
Well, welcome home To the Happiness Hotel
Well, welcome home To the Happiness Hotel
Well, welcome home To the Happiness Hotel
Well, well, well. If it isn't the fake Lady Holiday.
Well, what a delightful menu.
Well, you had it up to here, right?
Well, you look like you're gonna have a terrific time.
Well, you wanted excitement.
Well, you'd better snap out of it, and fast.
Well, you'd better think of it pretty quick.
Well, your kids are growing up, you never see 'em,
What a fantastic beginning.
What a great number!
What about your most famous piece of jewelry,
What am I going to do?
What am I? A glutton for punishment?
What an unbelievable coincidence.
What are you doing here?
What are you going to wear for the robbery?
What color are their hands now?
What color are their hands now?
What color are their hands now?
What do you think of that?
What do you think, guys?
What does "BSC" stand for?
What happened was you and your brother in law Bernie,
What if there's a storm?
What if we drift out to sea?
What if we're never heard from again?
What is it, Neville?
What is this, anyway?
What is?
What jewel robbery?
What makes you think there's gonna be a next time?
What would you buy if you were bored?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What? $12 and you don't even get a meal?
What's all the racket?
What's going on in there?
What's going on?
What's happening?
What's the difference? She didn't steal the necklace.
What's the name on that slip?
What's wrong with bus terminals?
What's wrong with the drummer? He looks a little crazed.
What's your room number?
Whatever you are, whoever you are, welcome to Great Britain.
Whee!
Whee!
Whee!
When we steal her necklace.
When you're in stir
Where does Devotion and passion go?
Where does Devotion and passion go?
Where does Lady Holiday get off calling me an ostrich?
Where does the rapture Begin and grow?
Where does the rapture Begin and grow?
Where Lady Holiday lives,
Which one are you?
Whippoorwills, Miss Piggy
Who was more, urn...
Who was that guy back there?
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoo wee!
Whoo whee! Can we do that again?
Whoo, yeah!
Whoopee!
Why am I doing this? Because I'm a villain. It's pure and simple.
Why are you staring into the closet, Neville?
Why are you telling me all this?
Why couldn't we fly?
Why couldn't we fly?
Why don't we just ring the doorbell?
Why would I design such atrocious looking clothes?
Why would I say no when I meant yes?
Why, only last week
Why, what a lovely diamond necklace.
Why? What happened?
Will do.
Will go on permanent display at the Mallory Gallery.
With no one to tell you
With the classic allure of the white pleated collar and cuffs.
With the long legs, the aquiline noses,
With their hands in the cookie jar.
Without further ado,
Without me.
Woman!
Woman!
Woman!
Won't you listen to reason, sir?
Woof woof. Woof woof.
Would you guys out it out? We're wasting time.
Would you like to buy a watch?
Wow, it's gonna be terrific
Wow, look at the scenery.
Wow!
Wow!
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow. She's fantastic.
Yeah, "big house," "squealer," "slammer."
Yeah, but a man should be treated better than his luggage.
Yeah, but, Mr. Tarkanian...
Yeah, give me my night life
Yeah, give me my night life
Yeah, give me that night life
Yeah, it'll be a lot of fun to go out there and risk our lives.
Yeah, it's great when it works.
Yeah, London! We made it! Oh, boy!
Yeah, sorry. I got a dental appointment.
Yeah, sure. I was just looking for my contact lens.
Yeah, we'd like to check in.
Yeah, we're gonna be a movie
Yeah, well, anyway, just stay put
Yeah, well, I can see why that might make you sick to your stomach.
Yeah, well, I saw the way you were dancing with that guy last night.
Yeah, well, my luggage was sucked out the door.
Yeah, well, photography's an art.
Yeah, well, uh, c'est la vie.
Yeah, well, you have mesh marks on your face.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah! Way to go!
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, you may talk tough, Miss Piggy,
Yes and the dresses aren't bad either.
Yes, all right. 17 Highbrow Street.
Yes, Beau?
Yes, couldn't we ride
Yes, couldn't we ride
Yes, I seem to recall that.
Yes, Lady Holiday?
Yes, of course I would, dear.
Yes, sir!
Yes, sir.
Yes, well, I tried to tell them that.
Yes.
Yes. Fine. Swell. See you then.
Yes. I practically stole it.
Yes. Mmm, yes, yes. I know what you mean.
Yes. Next table!
Yes. Yes, yes. Ahem.
Yes. Yes. Yes, I believe I did, yes.
Yet waiting for you
You all right? You've got to get up! You've got to go on!
You are all weirdos.
You are in England, my furry friend.
You are. You are, you are, you are, you are.
You can come.
You can never find a cab when you need one.
You can read, I presume?
You can't dance and steal at the same time.
You can't even sing! Your voice was dubbed.
You can't. You've got to go on in her place.
You cashed in your stock certificates
You come here often, Lady Holiday?
You didn't know what to do.
You dumped the business for a song.
You got about 1,600 bucks on you?
You got every kind of critter
You got every kind of pest
You gotta have the right exposure,
You gotta have the right film,
You have such a way with words.
You know
You know, I may be mistaken, but the bellhops look like rats.
You know, I see the way you're sitting here
You know, I've never been inside a real ritzy English house before.
You know, if you put enough sugar in this stuff, it tastes just like ginger ale.
You know, it's amazing. You are 100% wrong.
You know, you have lovely eyes.
You land in England.
You left your wallet in college.
You may open it.
You may suggest a nice restaurant.
You mean they're really gonna try to steal the diamond?
You popped the flash just before the soup landed on his tie.
You see, all you have to do is pay our way to London.
You see, tomorrow night, precisely at midnight,
You should see the chambermaids.
You sold it to that jerk down the street,
You take the laughs when you can get 'em, Rosenthal.
You wanna help me out of this wastebasket?
You will never do as well
You won't be sorry, I promise. I can type,
You'd forgot how to care
You'd forgot how to care
You'd think they'd have pretzels on the table.
You'll fit right in to the Happiness Hotel
You'll have to jump in the front seat.
You're a phony! Yes, you are.
You're a very different looking woman.
You're fired.
You're lucky, you have fur.
You're moving up and walking on air
You're overacting. You're hamming it up.
You're wearing my mustache.
You're welcome. Hey, how do I get out of here?
You're wrong...
Your dancing partner happens to be a jewel thief.
Your lawyer is here to see you.
Your table, Lady Holiday.
4:15 p.m.? 9:20 p.m.?
A whirlwind tour, huh? Yes.
Actually, a cheap hotel. How cheap?
Ah, we're trying to catch a jewel thief. A jewel thief.
Ah. Nice eyes, sturdy legs.
All right. Back off! Ooh!
Am I boring you? What, dear?
And call for the car
And me. And me.
And me. And me.
And me. And me.
And me. And me.
And me. And me.
And me. And me.
And there are lice There are lice
And we're gonna stop 'em. Oh, Kermit, be careful.
And who did you sell it to? Who?
Animal? What?
Are bears allowed in those fountains? What?
Aren't you hungry? Sure, but we've got a few minutes.
But a familiar one, I bet. Mmm.
But I hate pepperoni. Hate pepperoni. Right.
But I hate pepperoni. I'll eat it.
Call room service. There's no phone.
Computer deprogrammer? Check.
Computer printout? Check.
Could I have just a moment? Oh, thank you.
Could we meet just for a moment? Underwear, underwear, underwear.
Did you just give directions to a frog? I guess I did.
Ditto. Meep.
Do something. What do you want me to do?
Eight o'clock? 5:30 p.m.?
Everybody Everybody
Everybody Everybody
Everything's under control. Not to sweat.
Fake vomit? it's on order.
Fozzie? What?
Frisbee? Oh, uh, lost.
Glass cutter? Check.
Go and see Stanley. Go and see Stanley?
Gonzo. Check. Whoo wee!
Goodbye. Yes.
Harder. Okay.
Harpoon gun? That's you.
Have you got chic? Have I got chic?
Have you got class? Have I got class?
Haven't you ever been there? Of course. I live there.
Hello. Uh...
Hey, a movie I just can't believe they did it
Hey, Fozzie... Shh!
Hey, here it is. What? What? What? What?
Hey, how are you guys fixing to pay? What are our choices?
Hey, Kermit? Yeah?
Hey, what's the name of this river? I don't know.
Hi yah! Ow!
Hi. Oh, Kermit.
Hmm, something like that. Yes, I suppose you would.
Hmm? Miss Piggy.
How long have you lived in London? All my life.
How you doing, young fella? Oh...
Hubba hubba. Ding ding!
Huh? Hi yah!
I bet you I can do it. Do what?
I don't have any change. Then give him something bigger.
I know where they are. I'll get them... Sorry.
I mean, is she pretty? Oh, yeah.
I rather like the effect. Do you like looking like an ostrich?
I really did care for you, you know. I know.
I said, "Am I boring you"? Boring me?
I want to put them in a safe. No.
I'll just walk. Okay, sure. Go ahead, walk. Okay?
I'm back in. You can count on me.
I'm out. Me, too.
I'm sure it is. Hmm?
I'm taking a picture. Shh.
I'm the one on the right. Oh.
I've been there and back. Mmm.
Infrared reflex? Check.
Is that the Eiffel Tower? Yeah!
It was you! Kermit was right. Oh, no, no, no!
It's like this, Kermit. I have to go to work all day.
It's not your fault. Right? Mmm.
It's straight down this street. Okay.
Just hand me my cuff links. Yes, sir.
Just some sort of servant. Mmm hmm.
Kermit! At least I can try.
Kermit? Huh?
Kermit? Huh?
Kermit? Mmm?
Kermit? Mmm?
Kermit? Turn around. Hmm?
Listen. I'm doing my best.
make up our first fashion bouquet. Ooh!
many miles from here. Oh.
May I come in? Absolutely not.
May I show you my portfolio? No.
Miss Piggy? Right.
Miss... Piggy.
Mmm hmm. Not at all what I expected.
Mmm. Please don't go. Kermit, please.
My name is Miss Piggy. I am a model. Yeah.
Need I say more? He's a frog, isn't he?
Neville? Hmm?
No problem. Oh, good.
No, I don't think so. I need a bath.
No. Miss Piggy, how could you?
No. No, no.
Nylon rope? Check.
Of course not. And Marla.
of the game. Woman!
Oh, Fozzie, put your hat back on. Oh. Yes, sir. See?
Oh, great. Yeah!
Oh, Happiness Hotel! That's us!
Oh, I can do it all. Sit.
Oh, I wish I had a book. Hey, Kermit?
Oh, Kermie. Oh, Piggy.
Oh, Kermit. Well, lemme tell you something.
Oh, she wouldn't steal. Why not? She lied.
Oh, there are bugs There are bugs
Oh, yeah? Mmm hmm.
Oh, yeah. Now just pull.
Oh. Yeah, right. Reason enough.
Okay, well, I'll see you later. Yes. 8:00.
Okay. Quiet. Shh!
Okay. That was easy. Yes, easy.
One for everybody Everybody
Peanut butter? Animal ate it.
Peekaboo. Hey! Ba ba do be bop.
Piggy. Piggy, hold it. Please, please, please.
Piggy. Piggy? Please, please, please.
Please now... Please... Miss Piggy.
Pneumatic drill? Check.
Pocket laser? Check.
Portable detonator? Check.
Pretty please? No!
Radar gun? Check.
Right. Whoa!
Round the corner, to the left. Oh. Thank you.
Rubber raft? it's got holes in it.
She screamed right into my ear. Of course I screamed.
Should I walk? Then I'll walk. Walk! Go ahead and walk.
So what's the plan, man? I already told you.
Souvenir photograph? No thanks. No picture.
Stand by, guys. Right!
Starring everybody And me
Starring everybody And me!
Stopwatch? Check.
Such a pleasure to see you. Thank you, Stanley.
Sunny sky Pretty day
Tell us what? Yeah, what's going down?
That's great, Gonzo. Yeah. Smile, chicky babe.
That's it! That's the name on the slip. Ah.
The Happiness Hotel. Oh, yeah.
There was spectacle There was fantasy
This is the bedroom and, uh... Bath. Mmm hmm.
Those clowns? Mmm hmm.
Try what? Plummeting? Yeah!
Uh, Lady Holiday? Oh. Yes?
Walkie talkies? Check.
Wax lips? Man, I just had 'em.
we justa deliver them. Mmm hmm.
We've had comedy We've had mystery
Welcome home Welcome home
Welcome home Welcome home
Well, we just pull that rope. Yes, sir!
What was that? Just making a point, dear.
What's your name? Henderson.
Where are the diamonds? Miss Piggy stole my necklace.
Where are you guys going? Uh, the Happiness Hotel.
Where we took a chance And saw romance end happily
Which one? The pig.
Whoopee cushion? I think it's in the bus.
would make an interesting story. Yeah.
Wow! Shh.
Wow! Yes, and we got them
Yeah! All for one and one for all.
Yes, it's very easy to read. Mmm.
Yes, we want the Happiness Hotel. Yeah.
Yes. Yes, I meant yes.
You all right'? I don't know what happened.
You did the only thing you could do. Mmm.
You don't have to tell everybody. Oh. Right.
You guys live here? Yeah, but only between gigs.
You look fine, Fozzie. Thank you.
You mean it? Mmm hmm.
You mean... Yup.
You were magnificent, Miss Piggy. I did it all for you.
You'll get a chill. Thank you very much.
You're jealous. I am not.
You're overacting. What?
Yoyo? For sure.
...here's our cute little banner story.
'Cause the bellhops Ain't too organized
'cause we're gonna catch those thieves red handed.
'Ere. Just one moment.
"and rub your stomach at the same time."
"Big house"? Is that prison talk?
"Fashion Queen of London Robbed."
"Hello"? Last night you never even said goodbye.
"I want you to buy me out."
"Identical Twins join The Chronicle staff."
"Jewel heist on Main Street."
"Lady Holiday's Jewels Stolen," that's what it says in The Times.
"Lady Holiday"? But I thought...
"Listen, you care more about this lousy business
"Look, Ma, no brains."
"Look, Mother, it's my life, okay?
"Places where you can park your carcasses."
"So if I want to live on a beach and walk around naked..."
"than you care about me."
"The Great Muppet Caper."
"We"? What do you mean "we"?