The Muppet Show (1976) - Season 2 Edit

A beautiful princess has been turned into a pig

A big finish. Here it goes.

A brilliant interpretation of classic ballet.

A charter flight carrying the London Symphony Orchestra

A dancing chicken act? Gonzo, I've never heard of anything as ridiculous

A dog act? Jugglers? Spoon players? What?

A few minutes ago, I sent my assistant, Beaker,

A gofer is somebody you have around to go for coffee. Isn't that interesting?

A ha! I should have known.

A ha! So, that's what's been happening here.

A ha! You don't think we know what you're doing, huh?

A hideous space creature has boarded the ship!

A kangaroo who could tell time?

A list of the animals

A little banjo pickin' and a little Apple Jack

A little less starch in the pajamas, OK?

A little Lullaby of Birdland on this cornball show.

A lot of people come to me and they say, "Steve,

A man of culture on this weird, sick program.

A matter of utmost urgency.

A mitten for Gonzo the Great.

A mud poodle!

A no pigs clause?

A pig could go mad.

A pirate don't use an intercom!

A plane carrying a load of sports equipment

A pleasure talking to you, sir. A man of dignity.

A preachment, dear friends, you're about to receive,

A rather sensational new act I'm doing.

A special court has ruled Charles is the sole heir

A television, you can turn off.

Aaah!

Aaahhh!

Aah!

Aah! Sorry. OK?

About 20 a day.

About nudity in the world today.

About rainy days too.

Absolutely no danger to me

Accent on "simple."

Accompanied by the puppet artistry of Bruce Schwartz,

According to the sensors, there are two creatures.

Act one, scene one.

Actually, I could use a hand.

Actually, I knew she was gonna do it.

Actually, the little, teensy basket of fruit is more suitable to you!

Actually, we did get one star, and he's enough

Ad in the paper!

Adjacent to the alarm is the digital iambic generator.

After all, the rain makes the pretty flowers grow,

After this show, he'll probably change it.

Against this rising wave of banditry.

Aggressive, tough female with a killer's instinct?

Ah choo!

Ah ha! Pretty blonde lady!

Ah, cool it, baldy.

Ah, get the door! [growls]

Ah, goodbye everybody. Yeah.

Ah, hello, hello and welcome.

Ah, here's looking at... at you, kid.

Ah, Link, let me see if it has done what I need.

Ah, Linky, how do you feel?

Ah, thank you, Kermit. Nice of you to say so.

Ah, that one is fantastic.

Ah, that turkey talks ragtime.

Ah, very good, Fozzie. You ready to go on?

Ah, well, you're not doing it with me.

Ah, what choice have I got?

Ah, whatever. I gotta go put my costume on.

Ah, yeah, my bear. I knew you were a gas.

Ah, yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Ah, yes, well, very different, Doc.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! [snorting]

Ah! [snorting]

Ah! Can you see me? Here I am.

Ah! I got ya!

Ah! Oh, that's terrific.

Ah! You blew it too. It's Nancy Walker!

Ah.

Ah. I loved it!

Aha. "Muppets Relying on Same Old Tired Junk."

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh.

Ahh. [sniffing]

Ahh...

Ahh...

Ahhh.

Ahhh. Boy, Mortimer, you are stupid.

Ahhhhh!

Alas, poor pork, I knew thee well.

Alien beings in the control room!

Aliens! Alien beings in the control room!

All about the scandals and behind the scenes dirt.

All better. By the way, Shepherd's Institute

All hogs on deck! All hogs on deck!

All part of the act. [chuckles]

All right, everybody, now's your chance.

All right, frog, we watched the show!

All right, here we go, head for home.

All right, here you go, here you go. That's a beauty.

All right, it's weigh in time.

All right, scale, give me the good news.

All right, Scooter, all right. Enough, I'm ready.

All right, that does it.

All right, then. I'll spell it out for you.

All right, we're auditioning here

All right!

All right!

All right! All right, At The Dance everybody.

All right? Hey, it's terrific!

All right.

All right. I'll be backstage

All right. Now, Lullaby of Birdland.

All right. Once when I was in the Himalayas, Gonzo,

All right. The point is, if you send in your donations, you'll be very happy.

All right. Um, let's see.

All right. Up you go, Beaker.

All that blood is circulating nicely on your body.

All together, cats.

All you hip dudes and swinging sisters out there,

All you hip dudes and swinging sisters out...

Alley oop!

Alrighty.

Also, I need some string and some paint

Always wanted to sing.

Am I supposed to be here.

Am.

Among the items tossed out were 10,000 ping pong balls...

An astute observation, doctor.

An irrational black terror that someday I may get fat

And a good friend of mine,

And a second glass of water here.

And again is on this one here.

And all you have is that little teensy basket of fruit.

And becomes a normal, decent, moral program.

And Bergen stands next to me and moves his lips.

And big lashes?

And break a piano in two with his head?

And buy all those flowers and furs, and the mail and stuff,

And diminutive stature...

And disgusting animals in the world

And do you have any black cloth.

And everybody's friend, Charlie McCarthy.

And for the fishy chowder we have the fishy fish.

And get paid for doing it,

And gotten your nose cold?

And grind our highways to a halt.

And he deserves it to this day.

And he said, "Standing in for the apostrophe."

And he was the one that wanted the band to play

And he will be awarded the entire estate...

And he'll do anything for sensationalism.

And her cat Cuteypie, was settled today.

And here he is now. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John!

And here I come some nights

And here on guitar, the lovely lady herself, Janice.

And here she is now. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Julie Andrews!

And here we are now at the place where it stops.

And here, alone at night...

And his dancing chicken, Lolita.

And his first mate and second in command,

And I am here alone

And I am interviewing a most unfortunate creature,

And I feel like some kind of sap back there,

And I heard this rumor that the show had been canceled.

And I heard you onstage and for a second thought I had grown a new me.

And I just love the pretty flowers.

And I load up my pockets.

And I must say that this one

And I steal them from the nests.

And I still haven't found another lady wrestler.

And I wasn't even in the opening number?

And I will introduce this number

And I, for one, am just appalled by it.

And I'd... I'd have the jump on everybody.

And I'll be right over with some chicken soup.

And I'll lay you odds the frog wrote it.

And I'm delighted to be here.

And I'm dressing with a bunch of pigs.

And I'm going to use it. Hmpf!

And I'm short a drummer. You think he'd be interested?

And I've decided to go out and do an act like yours.

And I've followed your career from its very beginning.

And I've perfected another impression of a Muppet star.

And if she should discover it missing,

And if they pop they go, "Gosh darn it."

And is guaranteed for the life of the unit.

And it works perfectly.

And it's "Nancy Walker," not "Fancy Talker."

And it's 15 feet high. And it's made of real glass.

And it's also the first time

And it's breakthrough time here at the labs again.

And it's easy to trick them.

And it's good to see you again.

And it's not just people, although, goodness knows, that's bad enough.

And lay down some golden tones, with soul and style.

And Louie Armstrong.

And made you a bona fide registered Hip Dude.

And maybe you can solve my problem for me. You see...

And miss next week's Pigs in Space!

And my act's not ready.

And no one bothers to come back and say,

And now all of your toil and self sacrifice has paid off.

And now for my next number:

And now it's time for everybody's favorite funny pig,

And now The Muppet Show takes pride in presenting scenes

And now the second glass is gone?!

And now two sketches go on at the same time.

And now we will bring him back.

And now with the nose warmer in place we have only to turn on the electricity.

And now you've made two films.

And now, a musical duet

And now, for my first song...

And now, fun balloon animals. Here we go.

And now, how about a nice big hand for Kermit the Frog?

And now, in the midst of our annual fundraising drive...

And now, is the winter of our discontent...

And now, ladies and gentlemen, once again,

And now, ladies and gentlemen...

And now, ladies and gentlemen...

And now, let's get the show rolling with a little pig music!

And now, once again,

And now, once again, our special guest, Miss Cloris Leachman!

And now, one of the loveliest ladies in all of show business.

And now, presenting my singing food!

And now, straight from a three month engagement

And now, to appease the intellectuals of our audience,

And now... Now it's time for a little juggling.

And of course the answer to that is...

And one more thing, your hat's too big.

And one side of coleslaw! [laughing]

And others take longer. Then there are some that I'm still working on.

And permanently de shaded.

And put 'em in my teeth.

And put a book up in front of me and read while I practiced.

And putting this here like this.

And remember not to get carried away and gulp the whole thing.

And save the entire crew of the Swinetrek.

And say good night.

And she's got this cute little nose.

And she's intelligent and talented.

And so let's give a warm thank you

And technology.

And tell him to stand by?

And thank you all for being with us,

And that is what we're going to do!

And that something is tonight's very funny guest star.

And that way they'd have hind legs on both ends, see.

And the accidental walling of myself

And the ant got stepped on."

And the chocolate on the moose.

And the describable Dr. Strangepork.

And The Electric Mayhem Orchestra.

And the entertainers that appeared during the heyday of vaudeville.

And the guy says, "Yeah, did the cow sell the place?"

And the inexplicable Dr. Strangepork.

And the inexplicable Dr. Strangepork.

And the jokes are perfectly awful!

And the man who caused all this, Mr. Elton John!

And the mineral rights underneath it. In fact, I probably own you too, frog.

And the mythical Dr. Strangepork.

And the new comedian, Fozzie the Pig...

And the other parts ain't bad, either.

And the sanctimonious Dr. Strangepork.

And the sesquipedalian, Dr. Strangepork.

And the somnambulistic Dr. Julius Strangepork.

And the super brain behind this whole ghastly mistake,

And the taxman someday calling

And the ubiquitous Dr. Julius Strangepork.

And the waiter said, "Looks like the backstroke."

And the waiter says, "Shh, not so loud.

And the waiter says, "What's the matter? You ordered a mosquito?"

And the water is all used up.

And the worms and bugs and crawly things

And then it was, dear listeners...

And then she had the nerve to tell me that I was overweight.

And then we did the middle part, so this has to be the end part.

And then when they do, they don't think I can do anything right.

And there's Beaker with a nice toasty warm nose.

And they all add up to a great big zero for Zero Mostel.

And they go

And they go, "Where? Gosh."

And they have promised to be very classy.

And this one will have to close our other side!

And those stories about the early days

And to kill time while we see if we still have a guest star,

And to make matters worse, the theater manager came back,

And today, I'm in a steam room with a lady pig.

And tonight I'm just barely making it, I don't know...

And very, very relaxed indeed.

And we all know how terrific he is.

And we call it Cheesecake.

And we have for you the incredibly talented,

And we must lighten the weight of the rocket by throwing something overboard.

And we will slip out the window.

And we'll see you all next time on The Muppet Show.

And welcome again to another edition of The Muppet Show.

And welcome again to another Muppet Show.

And welcome again to The Muppet Show,

And welcome again to The Muppet Show.

And welcome again to The Muppet Show.

And welcome to another half hour of whatever this is.

And welcome to Beast of the Week.

And welcome to the Chub Club.

And welcome to The Muppet Show.

And welcome to The Muppet Show.

And welcome to The Muppet Show.

And went to the theater to do my act.

And what a finish, right into the orchestra pit.

And what ballet, may I ask,

And what can your chickie baby do for you?

And what is this doing in there?

And what is this doing in there?

And when that day comes,

And when used as a shampoo,

And who better to test it on than my willing and eager lab assistant, Beaker.

And why is the air conditioning being turned on in December?

And with my foot in the air, wiggling my ears.

And yet, the audience is demanding that I do it.

And you don't look anything like the Muppets that I've seen.

And you have a marvelous mind.

And you pushed one of those other buttons.

And you should have seen the way he got the audience to come back

And you're encouraging him, that's what you're doing!

And you're making a lousy job of it.

And, pray tell, what is my wonderfulness doing?

And, uh, I was wondering if I could interest anybody out there

And, uh, you've probably had a lousy time.

And?

And... And for this demonstration,

And... and not fit for family viewing.

And... and snakes in the grasses would strip this theater...

And... and... and... and absolute awareness of crime,

Animal?

Another crack out of you, and I'll turn your head into a dimple.

Another show, another headache.

Antonio speaks.

Anybody... help!

Anyhow, and, of course, our very special guest star,

Anyhow, here he is now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Peter Sellers.

Anyhow, I don't have anything to replace it.

Anything but chopped liver!

Anything else?

Anyway, it's a weird little act

Are all that matter in this life.

Are just the same as last time you came.

Are really interesting.

Are sitting out there saying to yourselves,

Are you crazy? That really hurt.

Are you doing your own voice now,

Are you kidding, standby?

Are you kidding? If I did, I'd be dead.

Are you out of your mind?!

Are you putting together a show?

Are you ready for the next bear?

Are you saying that I am a little overweight?

Are you sure it's all right?

Are you sure it's ballet, not opera?

Are you sure we've lost power on our steering mechanism, Link?

Are you thinking of me as the cook or the dish?

Are you...? She's out of her mind!

Arriba!

Arriba! Olé!

Art who?

As a dancing chicken.

As a matter of fact, I'm pleased to be anywhere.

As a matter of fact, right now he's on the planet Koozbane.

As a performer he is out of this world.

As far as I'm concerned, being fat's all in your head.

As fired from a muzzle loading cannon.

As I was saying, before we go, let's have a warm thank you

As I was saying, our new teleporter works perfectly.

As it plummeted towards Earth at an alarming rate.

As long as he doesn't write the obituary column,

As my assistant, Beaker, will now demonstrate.

As performed by... Dr. Teeth?

As re created today by our very special guest star, Mr. Rich Little!

As the most delicious creature on Koozebane.

As we join our story today...

As we left our heroes last time

As we left our heroes last time,

As we left our heroes last week,

As we left the Swinetreck last time,

As we left the Swinetrek last time,

As you can see, we care for all their needs.

As you know, Shepherd's Institute of Animal Protection

As you may have noticed, Fozzie has taken up roller skating.

As you recall, last week the spaceship Swinetrek

At a press conference, Edgar demonstrated his process

At last we got some decent music in this gig.

At last, to have a man of dignity,

At least I won't have to declare this on my income tax.

At least we could have brought a TV set.

At least you won't have to give us milk money anymore.

At my age, I got to hold on to something.

At the Desert Springs Vermont Humane Society,

At the J.P. Grosse Collection Agency,

At the lost and hound department.

At the rate of five ventrical icons per micro cantabile.

At this late date?

Atten hut!

Attendance is up, revenue is up. Just about everything is up.

Au revoir, fatso.

Autograph!

Aw, Kermit, she's a great dancer.

Aw, rats.

Aw, thank you. Ahhh!

Aw! And you'll be happy to know that I am a vegetarian.

Aw. Nobody ever notices me.

Awful. I hated it.

Aww, gee, Bernadette.

Aww, rats.

Back into the show.

Back to Africa they go. And now just Beaker will return.

Back to its mother before she wakes up.

Backstage is quiet!

Badly sailed, but nicely sung.

Barbecue.

Baskerville the Hound.

Battle stations! Battle stations!

Be cleansed of all nonsense and silliness.

Be gentle, I'm new at this.

Be wise, Gonzo.

Beach Blanket Frankenstein.

Beaker, Beaker, dear lad, come over here.

Beaker, come on in here and let's show them

Beaker, come on in here and let's show them

Beaker, put that gorilla back!

Beaker?! What is it with you guys from the lab?

Beaker.

Beautiful ladies of the world, Miss Bernadette Peters.

Beautiful. Very pretty, very pretty.

Because Gonzo just did it last month.

Because he can become all of the other ones.

Because I have come to a decision that I think will make you very happy.

Because I know exactly what to do.

Because I, the bear, have a plan.

Because I'm all scrunched up.

Because if we don't she'll break both my arms.

Because long distance costs too much.

Because of what happened in the Birdland number.

Because our guest star is Mr. George Burns.

Because our guest star is one of the geniuses

Because our guest star is the great Mr. Lou Rawls!

Because our latest invention is ready for testing.

Because the adult balloons are very dumb.

Because there's more money in real junk than this junk you got here.

Because they said the big dressing room was filled with fan mail.

Because this song needs all the help I can get.

Because we cancelled the show.

Because you're not a pig!

Because. Although the song will soon be over,

Because...

Before we say goodbye, let's bring out

Behind Monty Python's Flying Circus, Mr. John Cleese!

Bend over, Beaker, here.

Bergen and I will feel right at home.

Bergen, call the janitor.

Bergen, this isn't a television show, this is a zoo.

Bernadette Peters is a big star. You gotta clean up.

Bernadette Peters.

Besides me.

Besides me.

Besides, I am a gourmet cook.

Besides, they gave me this tiny dressing room

Between a frog and a toad?

Between me and my Kermie.

Big finish!

Big finish.

Birds, too! Yes. Beneath those fine feathers, birds wear nothing.

Blah, blah, blah!

Bless you. Thank you, thank you...

Blown away? Is that good?

Bob Hope!

Bon voyage, Miss Piggy.

Boo! Boo! Get off the stage!

Both my arms to be the same length again.

Both your arms are the same length.

Bound for the other side of the universe.

Boy, are we gonna have some wardrobe bill.

Boy, Elton, you look weird!

Boy, he's really good, that Rudolph Nurey...

Boy, is he funny!

Boy, Rich Little does impressions of everybody.

Boy, Sam really has this place

Boy, they really love her, don't they?

Bravo!

Brussels sprouts.

Bunsen Honeydew, what do you mean sneaking up on me like that?

But always... There are other fears

But animals too.

But before we go let's have a great big hand for Miss Teresa Brewer!

But before we go, let us have a warm thank you

But before we go, let us have a warm thank you for our special guest star.

But before we go, let's have a warm thank you for our special guest star,

But before we go, let's have a warm thank you to our special guest star,

But before we see him, how about a little Chanson D'Amour, hmm?

But can he make balloon animals?"

But don't you think a piano in the dressing room is overdoing it?

But Dr. Bob, are you going to operate?

But first we...

But first we...

But first, in an attempt to placate the culture lovers of our audience...

But first, many of you people

But first, to get things started, here's our own Fozzie Bear,

But first, we're going to open the show

But for your finale,

But he has three feet on the table.

But he writes for The Daily Scandal

But here to get things started is Dr. Teeth and the Electric...

But how about that audience I paid off for you, huh?

But I already have.

But I can't. I don't know what to do.

But I especially want to thank Mr. Big, Robin the Frog.

But I feel terrible now.

But I have a special announcement.

But I just introduced the Polonaise.

But I just love Cary Grant.

But I know you love show business,

But I promised not to get carried away,

But I think...

But I want you to know, it's tough.

But I'm not sure there will be anything very exciting.

But I've got everything under control now, Miss Walker.

But if it had begun, I'd be saying,

But if Link says he tried that one, I, for one, believe him.

But in time, you shall forget all about me.

But is it serious, Dr. Bob?

But it seems kind of silly since the show never begun.

But it's a great number. You and Sweetums'll be terrific.

But J.P. Grosse, the man who owns this theater, is the meanest,

But Kermit, when is the bear on?

But me and Robin are mad we have to wear these formal clothes.

But my controls are just for the hot plate,

But next year I'm going back to school.

But on the bright side, our special guest star

But on the outside I'm very calm.

But right now, let's start things off

But Scooter's not here yet!

But someone we can always depend on

But that had something different.

But that's why he's a little hoarse.

But the ant worked day and night, from dawn to dusk,

But the dancing chicken act is out.

But then...

But there are many better places to go

But there's a moose in my dressing room.

But there's a moose in my dressing room.

But there's one thing they haven't changed.

But this Elton John borders on the revolutionary.

But this other show has offered me a contract at twice the money.

But though they are gone they are never far

But tonight she laid an egg.

But tonight we have new and cute version of it

But very funny, Mr. Don Knotts. But first, just for fun,

But we hope it doesn't do any damage when it hits the floor.

But we paid nothing.

But we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show.

But we're gonna save on the light bill.

But what is this?

But you and your friend seem to be very distinguished gentlemen.

But you're a doctor, first.

But you're not alone. Look at me.

But, but, uh, what went wrong?

But, but...

But, Gonzo, you just met Madeline Kahn.

But, I'm telling you right now,

But, if people or objects suddenly appear or disappear, try to ignore them.

But, is necessary when in this position,

But, it's OK. Animal's getting him out.

But, Kermit, why?

But, OK, here he is now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. John Cleese!

But, sir, uh...

But, you know, backstage here, you can just relax and be yourself.

But, you know, I wanted to be casual.

But, you know, it's tough to play the piano and chase cars at the same time.

But...

But... but what is that?

But... but wherever he is, it's good to know

But... but, Kermie...

Buy all your railroads, forget the 200 and let 'em go straight to jail. Right.

Buying a station wagon, joining the PTA.

By a sudden epidemic of the rare disease Mallarditis.

By feeling the bumps on his head.

By going south of the border.

By knitting a tureen of minestrone,

By the fact that you suggested

By the way, all of these creatures are up for adoption.

By the wicked magician, Trichinosis.

By the wife of a neighborhood artist,

By way of contrast, the Doppler sublimated magneto

Bye.

Call the entire crew on deck for inspection.

Call you? What for? No money in hog calling.

Can be purchased in any hardware store

Can I see your ticket stub?

Can the frog tap dance?

Can we change the subject?

Can we get on with the auditions?

Can you believe that? Overweight?

Can't stand all that screaming and yelling.

Can't you just feel that fat falling away?

Cancel the fountain.

Canceled me and hired the dog.

Captain Hogthrob had just discovered the awful truth.

Captain Hogthrob had just ordered the Swinetrek's biannual inspection.

Captain, according to my records,

Captain, we're out of swill!

Captain, you know what that means?

Cars!

Celery!

Cha cha cha!

Chain! Chain! Chain!

Charlie, it's really great to have you here.

Check.

Check.

Check.

Check. And here we have the man on bass guitar,

Check. And so did Cleo Laine. I gotta go introduce her.

Cheesecake. Mm. Oh, cheesecake!

Chef, you're on next.

Chef! What are you doing?

Chickens can't read.

Chopin!

Chopin!

Chucky, who was that lady I saw you with last night?

Chucky, who was that lady I saw you with last night?

Cleo Laine, 15 seconds to curtain, Miss Laine.

Clops!

Cloris Leachman. Fifteen seconds to curtain, Miss Leachman.

Cloris, you did that for us?

Cluck cluck.

Coconut.

Cogently put, Zoot.

Come back here.

Come here.

Come on in here, Beaker.

Come on in!

Come on in.

Come on, Beaker. Just pick up the lid there.

Come on, come on, we don't have much time.

Come on, Floyd, just let me discuss it with him man to man, you know?

Come on, keep exercising.

Come on, you can't go on stage looking like that.

Come on, you guys. Move it. Move it. Come on. Move it. Move it.

Come on. Hurry up, bend over.

Come on. There you go.

Come, Beaker, let's go find a bicycle pump and pump you back up.

Coming from you that sounds believable.

Coming Rudy!

Completely naked?!

Confidentially, uh, I always wanted to be hip.

Contained in this self same beaker here.

Cooking is the second worst thing he does.

Cool it, cool it! He knew.

Cool it, flea bait.

Cool it.

Corn, oink, oink, oink, oink.

Could I speak to you, please?

Could you put your cigar out, please?

Could you...? Never mind.

Cow?

Cow? That was your cow?

Cows don't sneak. Snakes sneak.

Crazy Harry.

Culture is culture. Go ahead.

Culture, yes, culture. Dignity at last.

Culture, yes, culture. Dignity at last.

Cut! Is that it, Scooter?

Dance, dance!

Dance, you little firebrand.

Darling, funny, pointy collar Kermit used to wear.

Dateline The Muppet Show.

Dateline, London.

Dateline, New York. Medical science has been baffled

Dateline, The Muppet Show, an embarrassing situation developed today

Deadliest pirate of the seven seas.

Dear, dear, me! There.

Death defying musicrobatics never seen before...

Deep enough and strong enough, believes in you...

Delicious!

Depends on how strange the stranger is.

Did I get your name wrong?

Did someone call me?

Did you hear the...?

Did you like it that much?

Did you say something?

Did you see him, doctor?

Didn't notice it? How is that possible?

Didn't you see that shipwreck out there?

Dignity, dignity... [squawking]

Dignity. Always dignity.

Direct from the planet Koozebane.

Disgusting little one who catches cannonballs."

Disgusting. Ever see eating like that?

Dish!

Do we have to watch this?

Do you know how many times I've seen that done?

Do you mind if I hang out backstage here awhile?

Do you mind if I hang out backstage here awhile?

Do you suppose they have any life on other planets?

Do you suppose they meant it to be?

Do you think she overheard?

Doc, how long before we collide with this thing?

Doc, would you look this thing up in your book?

Doc?

Doc?

Doctor, you're out of line.

Does that mean we can all go home?

Does that mean you're going to throw me out again?

Does the phone remind you of anything?

Does this mean I can go on?

Does this mean...?

Does your friend Waldorf feel as strongly as you?

Doing you good, Linky?

Dom DeLuise! Dom DeLuise!

Don't "My dear Dominique" me.

Don't ask me why the frog canceled.

Don't be afraid, Julie.

Don't call me an old fool. I'll give you the evil eye.

Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it!

Don't forget which button to push.

Don't hog the piano.

Don't look, now, Bergen, but somebody left the sty gate open.

Don't move!

Don't nag me now. I'm in the middle of laying siege.

Don't pay any attention to him, folks.

Don't say "cut", say "stop"!

Don't tell me to shut up. I'm your captain.

Don't we have some good, old fashioned entertainment?

Don't worry, his bark is worse than his bite.

Don't worry. We will get out of here.

Don't you think you're rushing things a little?

Don't you understand?

Don't you understand? Oh, I know.

Don't you understand? Oh, I know.

Don't! I've had it with you guys.

Don't! That's a new one.

Done by our special guest star,

Dr. Bob is barking up the wrong shoe tree.

Dr. Bob is losing his patients.

Dr. Bob is off the hook.

Dr. Bob, are you ready for your next patient?

Dr. Bob, do you know anything about repairing telephones?

Dr. Bob, Dr. Bob, that's an old show.

Dr. Bob, even if he is a horse, should you be using a saw?