Derry Girls - Season 2 Edit

A '50s prom!

A Fenian hating madman!

A few short months ago,

A fitting rendition of what I consider to be

A group of firefighters who were helping with the search

A historic evening for Northern Ireland.

A history project.

A hopeful city full of young people

A pear drop, I think it was,

A piece of that fine Protestant ass. [laughs]

A present for Protestants?

A similarity. Yes?

A spelling mistake?

A through to F,

A week? We're going to be stuck with them for a week?

About life after death.

About the British Empire,

Above the stage, look.

Abseiling is a great trust building exercise,

Absolutely crippled with the old gallstones, so she was.

Absolutely.

According to this, you're going to need a...

Ach, but I really wanted to find out

Ach, Cathy, it's yourself.

Ach, come off it.

Ach, drop dead, you spiteful old hag.

Ach, Eammon, how are you? What brings you here?

Ach, Geraldine.

Ach, God, so it is.

Ach, I wouldn't say I upstaged her now, Gerry.

Ach, isn't she gorgeous?

Ach, it's a great wee day so far, isn't it?

Ach, Jesus, Joe, you're looking well.

Ach, love.

Ach, Mary, you'd think the wain's been dropped into it.

Ach, Orla, love.

Ach, really?

Ach, Sarah, you'll choke the wain.

Ach, thanks very much.

Ach, well, at least yous were given the day off, that's something.

Ach, when all is said and done, she wasn't a bad old soul.

Ach.

Actually, I think you'll find they were our mother's earrings, originally, so...

Ah, better leave Jim's gun back so.

Ah, Clare. Clare Devlin. There you are.

Ah, it'll come to me. Anyway,

Ah, it's my mother's wake.

Ah, she's definitely up to something, love.

Ah, sure, nothing ever is.

Ah, there it is!

Ah, Trampy Tara.

Ah, yes.

Ah!

Alcoholic beer.

All right, Bridie? You well?

All right, don't be gettin' worked up.

All right, Ian, we get the idea, like.

All right, Mary, Sarah, Deidre.

All right?

All right. I see.

All the best, your mother, Mary."

All these false promises,

Although I have heard he is really good with his hands.

Although maybe she wanted to mutually split up a bit more than I did.

Although tomorrow is not officially a public holiday,

Am I gonna have to come after you, am I?

Am I in hell?

Amen.

And also that essentially, deep down, I'm quite an evil person.

And an end to 25 years of bombing and shooting

And are you gonna?

And as I say, by this stage the wind was fierce...

And as it stands, I'm completely out of stock,

And as it turns out

And blown into a flowerbed.

And boogie on down "

And December is only 'round the corner.

And do not test me 'cause we've already missed PJ and Duncan.

And Eammon's a 50 year old man.

And Erin and Orla are round mine.

And fair play to you, Cathy.

And football and poker, and, you know, tits.

And glorious and ugly.

And go between them, but they won't fucking keep put.

And great poetry is raw,

And have warned residents in the local area to be extra...

And he couldn't shift them for love nor money,

And he's the fella I like the most.

And her mother worked in the Credit Union, you might remember.

And her sitting on a full house, too.

And honest to God,

And hope, and

And I believe you wrote the lyrics yourselves, is that correct?

And I expect to see you all here tomorrow morning, business as usual.

And I for one can barely believe it.

And I have it on good authority, boy.

And I know no one will mind me saying this

And I know where it is.

And I may be running with this but I'm sure you really like Catholics.

And I really hope she's up there now, looking down on us both, thinking...

And I says to myself, says I, "Colm, this is no day for a do,"

And I try to silence my doubts, I really do, but lately

And I want to make it burn

And I'd much rather just hold onto him, actually.

And I'll be suspending them for a week.

And I'll maybe do a bit of dusting.

And I'll tell you something else.

And I'm actually a boy.

And I'm back where I was five feckin' hours ago, Joe.

And I'm not sure that's actually...

And if Mammy was alive

And if my ma starts asking questions...

And if she can no longer bring herself to look at the big bowl

And if she tries to, I'll tell her as much.

And if the Bishop has a problem with that, he can take it up with me.

And if the worse comes to worst,

And if we did, I wouldn't fancy our chances

And if you guys decide to go through with it,

And Irish people aren't allowed to enjoy Oliver Cromwell, Orla.

And it turns out, I'm a really good salesman.

And it's really starting to take off now, so...

And just loosen up a bit.

And Kennedy, of course, the poor critter.

And lasting peace.

And look at the state of the place.

And love,

And not a day goes by when I don't think about them.

And now the old bitch is getting buried in them.

And now we're overrun with polar bears.

And now, I don't mind a bit of a breeze

And now, I don't mind a bit of a breeze if anything, I prefer it

And now, the moment we've all been waiting for

And on our way to see Robbie.

And on the Thursday of the very same week,

And on this occasion, right is wrong and wrong is right.

And our Prom Queen is...

And ourselves.

And real, and messy,

And redo them in one night.

And remember, be subtle.

And repair.

And secondly, I think it's unlikely he'll call to our house.

And see how she likes it.

And seriously, not a fucking word.

And she carries a knife and makes people bury their own excrement.

And she's a model, for Christ's sake.

And so I ask you

And start to heal

And Strabane's had them for months.

And such wonderful traditional values.

And sure, didn't Sarah forget her beads.

And that wain has some head of hair on her.

And that's the end of the matter.

And that's the last thing I need. No.

And that's where abseiling comes in.

And the Father, Son, Holy Spirit...

And the gallstones, well, now, they're no joke.

And the mouthy curly one thinks we shouldn't because... ?

And the smell of it is enough to turn an Orange march.

And the tuna, well, you can freestyle.

And the whole world loses the absolute run of itself.

And then passed out in a puddle of his own boke.

And then there was the lad they named all the vacuum cleaners after.

And then, by Christ they won't know what's hit them.

And there's a multipack of Taytos still waiting to be bowled up.

And they were head to toe in tie dye, Mary.

And things that they don't have in common.

And this bully pours a bucket of pig's blood on her.

And this guy is really creepy and a bit, sort of, sexist.

And three rounds of tuna.

And unbelievably, my sister doesn't have a phone.

And we'll wrap it up there.

And what she did was, she shoved them right up her

And when I say battered, I mean intellectually like.

And when I say he's good with his hands,

And when it doesn't work out, what then?

And you are?

And you may leave this house and never return.

And you'd have my full backing on that, Mary.

And you'll maybe not remember this, girls,

And you'll receive further instructions shortly.

And you're one of us.

And you're trying to get rid of them.

And, I think the reason I was interested

And, in case you hadn't noticed, she also happens to be Chinese.

And?

Animals, the lot of you.

Announcement from Jenny Joyce and the dance committee.

Any cups up here? I'll take that.

Any idea what the speed limit is around here?

Anyone free to pick up Bill from base, over?

Anyone near base at all, over?

Anything at all. A small thing, even.

Anything from Chelsea, girls?

Anyway, drugs aren't illegal when you put them into food.

Anyway, I hate to impose on you, but I just need to make a quick call,

Anyway, it's not like I belong here. I never did.

Anyway, what can I do for you?

Apologies, folks.

Apparently, he sounds like a West Belfast Bond.

Apparently, Jenny's hired this fuckin' pensioner band.

Are just at a really crucial point in our relationship.

Are nothing to the bullets being fired...

Are these cinnamon?

Are you a fully blown Protestant?

Are you for real? She traces everything back to us.

Are you going to sack off school or not?

Are you seeing anyone?

Are you staying with your Deirdre, then?

Are you suggesting we play truant?

Are you sure this will work?

Are you sure you got the address right?

Arseholes.

As at home here as you did back in your beloved Donegal.

As brightly as possible."

As far as English are concerned, a voice like that, well, it's dangerous.

As far as I can make out,

As far as I'm aware.

As have the Londonderry Boys Academy.

As if a polar bear's gonna rock up at a Take That concert!

As if Mammy's bothered by that.

As of midnight tonight, after 25 years,

As some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year.

As you all know, at the beginning of term,

At Glyndebourne ever since I absolutely battered that Pavarotti fan,

At our wits' end over at our place.

At this very second, that's what's concerning you,

Auntie Bridie, good to see you.

Aye, Da, 'cause an escaped polar bear's gonna track us down and kill us.

Aye, dead on, James, so you do.

Aye, fuck it, why not?

Aye, he might take a notion.

Aye, I know.

Aye, I like scones.

Aye, I sort of hope it works out for all of us, Sarah.

Aye, it was a CIA agent, all right.

Aye, it's a good job they keep themselves in such great shape.

Aye, keep up, Gerry.

Aye, Macca. Big Macca. Come on, everybody knows Macca.

Aye, maybe don't tell that to anyone again, Michelle.

Aye, me too, Mary.

Aye, me too. Caravans are class.

Aye, me too. Nightmare, so it is.

Aye, Michelle, that's definitely the attitude

Aye, right.

Aye, same here. You wouldn't mind getting Clare for me?

Aye, so you don't, super grass.

Aye, that's right.

Aye, they do look like good craic, in fairness.

Aye, they set up camp on his farm,

Aye, they're clearing up, I think.

Aye, thon boys will get in where draughts wouldn't.

Aye, we're pack animals, Mary.

Aye, you could say that.

Aye, you should check it out.

Aye.

Aye. I think it worked, you know.

Back off, you hear me? I'm not messing around with this thing.

Back off.

Bad craic, Erin. Very bad craic.

Barry, come in. Come in, Barry. Barry, come in.

Bastard.

Be reasonable, Sister. We didn't behead the fella.

Beam me up.

Because all Protestants are the same, aren't they, girls?

Because as far as our mas are concerned,

Because being a Derry Girl, well, it's a fucking state of mind.

Because I'm a boy, Michelle. I'm a real live boy.

Because I'm deaf in one ear.

Because I'm looking for an intellectual connection, and he wants

Because it's just too painful?

Because Mary said she didn't do it, and that's good enough for us.

Because Rita told us to, and I'm scared of her, Clare.

Because tomorrow

Because what you're doing is, you're saying to your buddy,

Because you bought a fuckload of dud flags,

Because you dropped this.

Because, well, they're massive.

Before traveling to Londonderry.

Before you head, I got you a couple of American flags.

Being late for school!

Bet that's what he said when he was nabbed.

Better wages, holiday pay, great pension.

Between you and Keyser Söze, my head is turned.

Bill Clinton, a committed supporter of the peace process,

Bit like Keyser Söze.

Bit of an arsehole, but oh, my God, amazing hair.

Bitch.

Bite my eye! Traitor!

Bitter old bat.

Blonde fella is nothing but a fly bastard.

Bloody perverts.

Boke o rama.

Bridie's still our aunt, still Mammy's sister,

Brilliant.

Brown, right. Got it.

Burnin' for you, Clare.

Burt. Why would they bring him to Burt?

But also about my own troubles,

But as usual, they were talking out of their

But before you don your glad rags and boogie on down,

But before you don your glad rags,

But Chinese people are just better than English people.

But Clare's off the scale. She's basically a delinquent.

But Colm's not here, is he, Da?

But did they fulfill those dreams,

But finally, we were saying enough is enough.

But for purity of tone, you simply cannot fault Bocelli!

But he was mad keen on the boiled sweets.

But he's not in the zoo anymore, is he, Simple Simon?

But he's very sick at the moment. Bedridden, in fact.

But he's your cousin.

But I am going to give you that chance.

But I can hardly parade around in just my bra, can I?

But I can offer you protection.

But I do have a pen pal from the Caribbean,

But I don't see why we have to buy them a present.

But I don't want you to.

But I just can't choose.

But I looked into it, and Mammy's death,

But I'm jealous of you and your new friend.

But I'm sure you'll soon feel

But I've been banned from trading

But I've had Mary Quinn on the phone frying my head and now this.

But if I could just grab the old P45 and I will be out of your way.

But if you're OK with that, I'd say we just crack on.

But in the end, well, didn't he choke to death on one?

But it just doesn't look very comfortable.

But it's all worth it if I get to see my big, handsome boy. [laughs]

But it's history. She's making us miss history.

But know that you will be judged.

But Maggie Murphy felt a twinge on a Monday,

But mostly because I am scared it will give the Pope ideas,

But now they're gone.

But sure, I'll not bore you with the details.

But sure, you can't take it with you, as they say.

But that one was aggressive,

But that's OK. We can write that down.

But their fans are so thick they'll buy any old shite,

But then I heard tell of a fella from Ballynahinch

But then one thing led to another.

But then the apple never did fall far from the tree.

But then, there was the 27th...

But there's been a few complaints from the kitchen about Gerry.

But they'll knock on the door first.

But this is cracker, too.

But this was the only recipe my ma had, so...

But thon was aggressive.

But we were so upset by what happened to Ms. De Brún.

But we weren't even talking about athletes.

But we're not round yours, Michelle. We're on the bus to Belfast.

But what about your creep convention?

But what happened to living for the moment?

But why were you threatening people with a knife, love?

But why? There's nothing wrong with that bowl.

But you will not be well liked.

But you're your father's daughters, all right.

But your girls pushed him out of the line, and now he has a bruise.

But, listen, say if things do get heated, try not to rise to it.

But, Mammy, you don't understand.

By feeding her rope through what's known as a belay device.

By God, he was tortured with the gallstones.

By God, that woman could make her enemies drop like flies.

By God, the wind could have cut you in two. Fierce, it was.

By Mr. Malone, headmaster of St. Benedict's,

By someone she has since fallen out with,

By working together, than by drifting apart.

Can everybody stop being so racist, please?

Can everyone stop saying "bra"?

Can I just stop you there, Colm?

Can I try that one, please?

Can we all be quiet, please?

Can we come in?

Can we not find a way to help her that doesn't involve abducting a holy statue?

Can we please stop talking about Erin's scoots?

Can you believe that?

Can you believe this bloody polar bear?

Can you credit this arsehole?

Can you find out, in a subtle way,

Can you give me one minute?

Can you make yourself known, please, Mae?

Can you think of anything

Can't you let me have anything for myself?

Carpe dickhead. [laughs]

Carpe diem.

Catch yourself on.

Catch yourself on. You've never even been to Switzerland.

Catholics have more freckles.

Catholics really buzz off statues and we don't so much.

Cathy and her eyebrows are two separate entities.

Cathy Maguire had the best eyebrows in Derry back in her day.

Cathy Maguire's back? Really?

Cheers.

Cheers.

Chelsea Clinton, the White House, America.

Chelsea will sort us out.

Chores? What do you think this is?

Christ Almighty.

Christ knows what our Marie ever saw in you, God rest her soul.

Christ, but I cannot stand the tongue people.

Christ, but it's been so awkward since we broke up.

Christ, but she's got some set of pipes on her.

Christ, but the English are weird.

Christ, can you imagine?

Christ, I just love beer.

Christ, I'm at my wits' end trying to keep them two lads apart.

Christ, I'm at my wits' end.

Christ, really?

Clare Devlin, is that you?

Clare's been there since five this morning, Mammy.

Classy.

Close the door.

Close your eyes, girls, and soak it up.

Come on in, Deirdre, love, it's open.

Come on now, Bridie, that's enough of that.

Come on, girls, this is embarrassing.

Come on, girls. It's Take That we're talking about.

Come on, girls. Time to hit the road here.

Come on, James.

Come on, Jenny.

Come on, Mammy.

Come on, Mary. If you don't let Erin go, then our mas won't let us go.

Come on, Michelle!

Come on, Michelle. What makes you think you can trust this Macca person?

Come on, Orla, we'll show them.

Come on!

Come on! Get it out!

Come on. Quick.

Completely.

Congratulations, Clare.

Could we call it 1.76?

Could you please stop pointing that thing at me, Joe?

Course it's working.

Cream crackers?

Creepy wee fucker, isn't he?

Cross party peace talks...

Cut the cheese and ham in triangles,

Da, I don't understand this. You hate the cinema.

Da?

Da.

Daddy and Gerry not back yet?

Daddy, you will not dignify that with a response.

Dead.

Dear God, no.

Dear God.

Dear Jesus.

Death.

Desperate.

Dick. Don't worry, she won't get away with it.

Dickhead.

Dickhead.

Did she ever tell you why she had to leave?

Did they tell you they were coming round here?

Did you know Bridie, then?

Did you send it first class?

Didn't see that coming.

Different? What does that mean?

Dig deep.

Dirty bitch.

Dirty English bastards is what they are. No offense, son.

Discovered the animal close to the A6, between Belfast and Londonderry,

Do everything and just try everything.

Do the Protestants have to bring waterproof trousers,

Do you ever think you might have too much time on your hands, girls?

Do you get what I'm saying?

Do you know how packed that Guildhall Square's gonna be, James?

Do you know that?

Do you know what this is about, Geraldine?

Do you like cinnamon?

Do you mean when you shacked up with a slutty hairdresser,

Do you want to go somewhere a bit more private?

Do you want to kick things off, or should I?

Do you watch Little House on the Prairie, Dennis?

Do yous want to see something class?

Dodgy gear? What is this, The Bill?

Does anyone own this red suitcase?

Does that mean I can have your Sylvanian Family collection?

Does that mean which hotel he's staying in?

Doesn't seem to be anything happening now.

Dog poem, dog poem.

Dog poem.

Dog poem. Cat poem.

Dog poem. Poem about a tree.

Don't answer. That might be him. That might be the polar bear!

Don't be afraid to live it.

Don't blame me. Blame the Milk Tray Man.

Don't know. The water didn't rise in GoodFellas.

Don't let the Jaffa bastard hurt me, please!

Don't mind if I do.

Don't take the labels off, wear them to prom,

Don't touch the hair! Don't touch the hair!

Don't toy with me now, Jim.

Don't upset yourself, love. It's just a wheelie bin.

Don't you be trusting him.

Don't you just love beer?

Don't, Mary. That Greek fella...

Dose.

Double date it is then so.

Driver, pull over.

Drugs are addictive, but perhaps most importantly,

Dub the voice of Gerry Adams because it's too sexy?

Dull, white girls wanting me to join their gang because, well...

Dust.

Eammon will never marry.

Earlier today,

Earrings like that don't deserve to be buried alive. It's a sin.

Educating the heathen inhabitants of a primitive and savage place.

Either it is replaced, at your expense,

Erin Quinn.

Erin Quinn.

Erin, all we do is slag off Jenny.

Erin, what are we gonna do?

Erin, what are you doing?

Erin, why don't you get the ball rolling?

Erin! Orla!

Erin's gonna have Harry now, and I'm gonna have you, all right?

Erin's just sacked Clare as her prom date so she could take a fella she fancies.

Especially the ones who have a nice ass."

Et cetera and so on. It's very straightforward.

Ever.

Everybody else can see the dead body, right?

Everybody knows that.

Everybody knows what you're talking about, Michelle.

Everyone is looking at us.

Everything all right, Colm?

Everything I own can fit into a suitcase.

Everything okay?

Exactly, love. Everybody knows you didn't mean to kill the old boot.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Examining suspect device now.

Except maybe, our girls are 16

Excuse me, everyone. Can I have your attention, please?

Excuse me, you're the one that was thumping it repeatedly, Joe.

Excuse me?

Excuse me?

Excuse me?

Excuse me?

Expand and explain. Expand and explain!

Face it, Clare, you're a craic killer.

Fair enough.

Fancy another beer, mate?

Fantastic.

Faster. Walk faster.

Father Thomas usually deals with the wakes,

Feasting on a sheep carcass.

Feel free to kiss my hole.

Fella with the bad leg.

Finally, we were saying let's give peace a chance.

Find your voice.

Fine.

Fine. But can we agree it's on a strict one in, one out basis?

Fire? What the fuck are you on about?

Firstly, he's not coming to Derry until tomorrow.

Firstly, I'd like to introduce Mae Cheung.

Fit and stuff.

Five layers.

For "Rock the Boat"? Really?

For Belfast? I don't think so, love.

For fuck's sake, Erin.

For generations, we'd known nothing but violence,

For God's sake, Gerry.

For God's sake, Mary. First the curse, now this?

For I just nailed some serious moves.

For if you hold her too tightly, she will break and you will bleed."

For once, the world will be watching us for all the right reasons.

For that sort of thing around these parts.

For the love of God, don't forget your waterproof trousers.

For the President of the U.S.A. in Burt now, are they?

For the record, that I think this might be the worst idea we've ever had.

For this to be over.

For tomorrow's activities.

For us to do something together, just the two of us, you know?

For when the bride arrived

Four salad on white.

Free accommodation.

Free labor, that's what she's after.

Fuck a doodle doo.

Fuck me, what a total dick.

Fuck this. Let's just make James do it, the lazy bastard.

Full of the joys, always laughing.

Funny scones.

FY nobody gives a shit.

Garnet's actually my birthstone.

Get away with the whole Prom Queen thing.

Get back here!

Get it shifted, girls.

Get out now!

Get out of here. Go on, now.

Get out!

Get out!

Get out!

Getting caught out in someone else's house like that.

Girls, we just need some cold, hard proof

Girls. You were fighting with girls?

Give me strength.

Give peace a chance!

Give peace a chance! Give peace a chance!

Give us a going over with the hairdryer, will you?

Glorious!

Go away, please.

Go out with me.

God almighty.

God Almighty.

God bless her and keep her...

God but I love that accent, James!

God only knows what else we've missed.

God rest her soul.

God rest her soul.

God, aye, any excuse to whip out the old saxophone.

God, aye, it's different, isn't it?

God, aye.

God, Clare, you're so conditioned.

God, how am I going to go to this wake?

God, I am boiling.

God, it's my worst nightmare,

God, Mary, but them poor fellas are flat out with fires, so they are.

God, that's desperate.

God, what caused it?

God, you are such a hypocrite, Erin.

God's sake, will you close that window? We're foundered here.

Gone, and she's not coming back.

Good afternoon, sir.

Good for Zara. Bye bye, now.

Good God!

Good man yourself, Jim.

Good man, yourself. Come on up.

Good morning, Michelle.

Good. I don't want to be me.

Good. This is good!

Goodbye, girls.

Grand so.

Grand so.

Great stuff altogether.

Great stuff.

Great stuff.

Great, because me and John Paul

Great, do that, then maybe we can lay the whole bloody thing to rest.

Great, thank you, Jenny.

Great! Um, just to be clear,

Great.

Great. All sorted.

Great. Great. Thanks very much, Deirdre.

Great. I'll write the ransom note.

Had to leave?

Happy days.

Happy fucking days.

Has anyone seen my bow and arrow?

Has the woman no shame?

Have a great day, everyone.

Have the patience to work for a just

Have they roped you into going as well, son?

Have you a date lined up, Orla?

Have you considered adoption, Geraldine?

Have you decided who you're bringing yet?

Have you ever actually met them, Rita, Take That?

Have you ever seen Carrie?

Have you ever seen Northern Ireland on a map? It's fucking tiny.

Have you ever stopped to look at these...

Have you seen the Clintons knocking about around here?

Have you seen the hack of those skirting boards, Gerry?

Haven't you ever seen a dead body before?

He brightens up my office.

He could throw me over his shoulder any day of the week.

He doesn't answer back.

He doesn't answer questions, he asks them.

He goes with your woman. You know her.

He has a great set of pins on him, doesn't he?

He has experience with presidents. He'll know what to do.

He has loads of tattoos, big scar under his left eye.

He just became so controlling.

He kissed your cheek at Kerry Coyle's 16th birthday party,

He looks like his head's on upside down.

He might call, Gerry.

He said he could hook us up. Class or what?

He said she had to leave for, like, being a bully.

He said she's seriously unhinged.

He said they're taking Bill back to base,

He wants to kill us all, all of the Catholics!

He was kicked out of Creggan for joyriding.

He was one of those uh, what you call it?

He was talking absolute shite the whole time.

He was telling me there, John was, that every being in the place

He was the fella with the bad leg.

He was unbearable towards the end.

He was very insecure.

He wouldn't get a ticket, for a start. They sold out months ago.

He'd have been a sorry boy,

He'll list presidents if he wants to list presidents.

He's a natural.

He's a surgeon over at Altnagelvin. He took Orla's tonsils out.

He's all, "Fuck a doodle this, fuck a doodle that."

He's already here.

He's an evil bastard, Deirdre.

He's been futtering.

He's done a fair bit since Glenroe now.

He's flat out going to weddings with his mates,

He's gonna be the only man in my life from now on.

He's gonna hold this whole town hostage, you mark my words.

He's got someone.

He's here! He's landed!

He's not as thick, but he's also not as hot,

He's not coming.

He's not serious.

He's sauntering about Belfast without a care in the world.

He's trying to kill me!

He's wearing a hat, for Christ's sake.

He's wearing a purity bracelet.

He's... one of your lot.

Heading to chapel, Bill?

Hello there.

Hello, mate.

Hello, Mum.

Help! Fire! There's a fire!

Help! Stranger! Stranger danger!

Help! There's a kidnapper on fire!

Help! This woman is trying to abduct us!

Her name's Zara, and she has a horse.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go. [sighs]

Here where their roots and families are.

Here's a poem about a dog. Here's another one about a dog.

Here's the wee ballot.

Herself's over there, circling the drinks table.

Hey, are you deaf or what?

Hey, hold on.

Hey.

Hi, guys.

Hi, I'm Kris. I'm here with Tara Martin.

Him and Daddy think they can tap into the CIA system on them.

His brother had an awful lot of bother with devil worshippers.

His name escapes me,

His words are spoken by an actor.

Hit me again.

Hiya!

Hiya. So, this is where the gays hang out, is it?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hold on a minute. Where did the scones go?

Holy shit.

Honest to God, Erin,

Honestly, Erin, I think we'll look so cracker

Honestly, girls.

Hope she remembers her swimming cap, Erin.

Hope you're right, Gerry, for it's like Beirut in here.

How about we give you the 1.76,

How are you supposed to dance to this old shite?

How are you?

How can you make a salad sandwich, if you don't have scallions?

How could you have glued his head on upside down, Orla?

How far could it be?

How long are we supposed to go on like this, Gerry?

How much for the Subbuteo, Dennis?

How the feck are we back in the same feckin' place?

How?

How?

How's your scoots now, Erin, love?

However, if that isn't clear, feel free to say so.

Howling like a banshee, it was.

Howya, girls.

Hurry up.

I am a Derry Girl!

I am all for the Protestants. I can't get enough of them.

I am buzzing for this weekend.

I am loose, thank you very much.

I am not a craic killer!

I am not getting back in that van, Michelle. The woman is a maniac.

I am.

I am.

I asked for them ten minutes ago. Come on, now, people.

I bagsie Harry.

I beg to differ.

I believe you've been expecting me.

I bought that stuff so I could get high, not your great uncle Colm.

I bruise quite easily.

I can't be doing with cinnamon.

I can't find anything I like.

I can't have you getting ahead of me, president wise.

I can't hex people, girls. It was an accident.

I can't say I do.

I can't spend the rest of my life traipsing about after bloody presidents.

I can't take it off, I've nothing underneath it.

I can't, Gerry. I can't go on like this. I need to know.

I can't.

I cannot believe she wouldn't even let me try it on.

I cannot believe you're even discussing it.

I cannot explain it to her again. I'm gonna scream.

I couldn't hand Hillary that.

I couldn't make up my mind.

I design high end, self adhesive labels.

I did fight that wain, Erin, and I'll fight that wain again if I have to.

I did kick the shit out of him as well.

I didn't hex her either, Da.

I didn't really notice her eyebrows.

I didn't want to make you angry, Mary.

I do enjoy a good statue, it has to be said.

I do, aye.

I don't believe in God, but, see, if I did...

I don't believe it.

I don't care if you're going to the prom with John Paul II, Erin,

I don't care.

I don't care. When it comes to our Colm, it's every man for himself.

I don't feel so bad about missing it now.

I don't know about this one. I think he looks a bit fat in it.

I don't know what the world is coming to.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know,

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I'm not sure it's you, really.

I don't know. She's fucking mental.

I don't like to feel tied down, you know?

I don't really rate him as a songwriter, you know.

I don't think I'm familiar with that one. Who's it by?

I don't think she was talking to me, Joe.

I don't understand.

I don't want anybody landing back here pregnant.

I don't want anyone recognizing me, OK?

I don't want to answer the question. I'm not comfortable with the question.

I don't want to die!

I doubt that.

I feelfloaty.

I felt a twinge there this morning, and I says to myself, says I,

I find it disturbing, Erin.

I got offered a post in St. Dominic's Girls.

I had a feeling something terrible was going to happen,

I had it there a minute ago.

I had my arm twisted, but feel free to tick my box.

I had one of these scones at the wake...

I happen to be very good friends with a half Protestant.

I have a hunting knife.

I have always said that Deirdre Mallon is a bit fly.

I have an HB pencil.

I have to do this.

I have to go home now. It's time.

I have to say, I'm not overly keen on us being out in the open like this,

I haven't done anything, Sarah.

I haven't got a bra on.

I haven't got any moves.

I haven't put the hours in, and that's not because I'm lazy,

I heard him say it. As clear as day it was.

I heard she's gonna be on Baywatch.

I heard she's set it up so she can win it.

I heard that k.d. lang on the radio yesterday.

I heard the drummer is at least 30.

I heard the whole Prom Queen thing's rigged as well.

I honestly thought about just leaving her there.

I hope it works out for him.

I hope you don't mind, Mrs. Quinn, but...

I hope you don't mind. Your front door was open.

I i i i it's Cantonese.

I I'm not sure about this.

I imagine it would, yeah.

I just cannot believe it.

I just did it for a laugh, the trousers.

I just don't think there's anything wrong with some cross community...

I just feel like if 20 states left the USA,

I just put my hand on its hole.

I just said something

I just seem to attract the possessive, jealous types. I don't know what it is.

I just think you should be able to compliment a woman's eyebrows

I just want to check, does your father think that they can hear him?

I just want to forget the whole thing.

I just want to pause and think about what's in here.

I just want to say...

I knew it. When I woke up this morning,

I knew you'd fanny out.

I know he has, Da.

I know what I'm doing.

I know, I know, but I do love a theme.

I know, I know, I keep forgetting. I'll drop it 'round today.

I know, it's just

I know, love. I know. Sorry.

I know. Animals.

I like Take That more.

I like the fella.

I love your hat, Mrs. Quinn.

I mean James' father was the same.

I mean she's so cool, and smart.

I mean, go out with us, me and my friends.

I mean, how class would it be to have a Chinese friend?

I mean, I love my Easter dress,

I mean, I'm about to bury my mother. A hex is the last thing I need.

I mean, ideally a fella.

I mean, is that true?

I mean, it matches Orla's.

I mean, it's against the Trades Description Act.

I mean, it's all cool.

I mean, listen to that, girls.

I mean, lots of other stuff happens, too, but that's the sort of relevant bit.

I mean, obviously, a curse was my first thought,

I mean, people in this place stop killing each other for five minutes,

I mean, these are free, for a start. My dad has, like, 45 of them.

I mean, they already have all the land, all the jobs and all the fucking rights.

I mean, they say that all teenagers are a bit rebellious,

I mean, what is everybody playing at?

I mean, what's all that about?

I mean, what's going on there?

I mean, when was the last time these were bleached?

I meant to say...

I met this guy that went to her school.

I must admit, I had a bit of an advantage

I need air, Mary. I've five layers on me.

I need my eight hours,

I need six rounds of cheese and ham, four rounds of egg and cress,

I need to take your scone.

I need to talk to you, to all of you.

I never slept a wink last night, you know.

I panicked, Daddy.

I personally think a week's more than generous.

I realize that now

I really don't know

I really don't know how you do it.

I really enjoy him.

I really like this fella, Mammy.

I really like this one. Have you seen the video

I really think you were a disappointment to her, you know.

I said be sexy, not be a fucking blowfish, Erin.

I said you could invite one friend to the reception. One!

I said, I hated athletes.

I see a peaceful city, a safe city,

I see him! I see him!

I see you've thrown your hat into the ring, Jenny.

I see.

I see.

I see.

I see. Look, these girls are great,

I see. Which was...?

I still don't get what it's supposed to be.

I suggest you rein it in and take a seat.

I suppose what I'm saying is we could present a version of ourselves as less

I suppose, because she was the life and soul, wasn't she?

I think a half eaten packet of Rolos and an Ulster Bank keyring

I think a lot of people in this class

I think he looks better.

I think he's a bit pissed off with her, to be honest, and I can't blame him,

I think I just developed Stockholm syndrome.

I think I would too, you know.

I think I've got something.

I think if it's OK I'd just like to take a moment and just

I think it's gonna do really well.

I think presidential visits are quite carefully planned.

I think she was talking to the person in the full length white frock

I think so, aye.

I think they can get funny about that type of stuff.

I think we can all agree that for generations

I think we have a Code Red on our hands.

I think we just got a bit confused.

I think we should keep them in cages.

I think we should keep them separate.

I think you mean "excluded."

I think you're doing a fine job.

I thought I could just stick them in two separate corners

I thought it would be nice

I thought we had an intruder. And I tell you what,

I thought you were having some sort of breakdown.

I thought, rather than let it fester,

I thought, well, I thought she meant just the two of us.

I want cheese and onion in one bowl,

I want no part of this,

I want that dress, Jenny.

I want to get out of this thing.

I want to see that.

I want to sit here.

I want you guys to give me examples of things

I wanted to do brownies,

I was a bit worried about her for a while.

I was actually quite fond of her, you know.

I watched this film once about this girl who was trying to hide drugs,

I went the wrong way.

I will not, I've enough to be at.

I will surely, Daddy.

I wish I lived in a caravan.

I wish you would wear your Easter frock, Erin.

I won't have as many moves as you. I just want to get that out there.

I won't miss my chance. Not again.

I would just like to state, once again,

I would like a word.

I would say so.

I wouldn't have put a drop on her. She doesn't have enough neck.

I wouldn't rule it out, son.

I wouldn't upset yourself too much, son.

I'd better tell Jim across the road.

I'd die for her as well, but I'm also conscious of the fact

I'd die for her.

I'd do it myself, but sewing plays havoc with my acrylics.

I'd forgotten just how small these little houses are.

I'd get buttering, if I were you.

I'd need a week to tackle them.

I'd quite like some feedback on the poetry assignment, actually.

I'd rein it in now, if I were you.

I'd say she keeps her place shining, Mary.

I'd stake my life on it.

I'll do anything for a laugh, me. I'm mad like that.

I'll do my best, Da.

I'll give you energy for your poetry.

I'll have to even things up again.

I'll have to start from scratch now,

I'll just grab the Hoover, give the stairs a bit of a going over.

I'll kill it with me own two hands, if I have to.

I'll never understand the point of you.

I'll Parkinson her. I've enough on my plate without Parkinson.

I'll see you round, girls.

I'll stand by you.

I'll take them.

I'll tell you, I was at one there up in the cathedral last week.

I'll thump you repeatedly.

I'm a bit scared of them. Is that racist?

I'm a classical head all the way,

I'm actually drawing a blank here, to be honest.

I'm afraid I left the house without my plunger tonight, Orla.

I'm afraid we're going to have to carry out a wee evacuation,

I'm buying a house and the mortgage rates are absolutely crippling at the minute.

I'm going to assume

I'm going to go now.

I'm going to keep mine on my bed, where I sleep,

I'm going to that concert. I'm not afraid of a fucking polar bear.

I'm going to the prom with John Paul Riley, for God's sake.

I'm gonna go and change.

I'm gonna use my left hand,

I'm good for cream crackers, thank you.

I'm Jenny. This is Aisling.

I'm just going to turn it off and on again.

I'm just gonna give you a wee light mist,

I'm just wondering whether I should, like, go after her and try and sort it out.

I'm leaning toward Pete Postlethwaite now.

I'm leaving. I'm going back to London with Mum.

I'm not a craic killer.

I'm not buying you another frock. End of story.

I'm not convinced they were devil worshippers, you know.

I'm not interested in any of your old schoolgirl gossip, Erin.

I'm not leaving, Michelle.

I'm not Madonna.

I'm not really sure that that's any of your business.

I'm not seeing anyone.

I'm not sticking a scone up my hole, Orla, I'll tell you that for nothing.

I'm not sure about this.

I'm not sure any of us will get to meet Bill or Hillary.

I'm not sure I do.

I'm not sure that's a good idea.

I'm not sure there's an awful lot of room for notion taking.

I'm not sure what else there is to say, Bridie,

I'm not sure what number Nixon was now,

I'm not sure you do have to keep it on its toes, Joe.

I'm not sweating.

I'm not talking about her. I'm talking about her eyebrows.

I'm not talking about putting up shelves, girls, I'm talking about

I'm not. I just respect him as a songwriter, that's all.

I'm on communion duty.

I'm pulling as hard as I can.

I'm really looking forward to making friends with some lads.

I'm serious.

I'm serious. They're in great nick.

I'm sorry about that, Eammon.

I'm sorry if the subtleties of my work were lost on you, Ms. De Brún.

I'm sorry, but is he OK?

I'm sorry, Clare.

I'm sorry, Colm, but you can't be part of this.

I'm sorry, I simply cannot read this.

I'm sorry, Jonjo, but you just crossed the line there.

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry?

I'm starting to see that, all right.

I'm still devastated about Mammy's earrings, Mary.

I'm sure many of you will have guessed what it's about.

I'm sure the fact that he's poking a model is some consolation.

I'm talking to you.

I'm trying my best.

I'm very, very scared of her.

I've actually just started my own business.

I've driven 178 miles,

I've just missed him so much.

I've just never met anyone like her.

I've managed to hold them off so far, but it's only gonna get tougher.

I've never tasted anything like it.

I've never told anyone this before, but...

I've never understood why people weigh themselves down

I've no time for Cathy Maguire.

I've no volume at the root, Mary. What choice do I have?

I've other things to be at, girls.

I've seen GoodFellas, like, 20 times.

I've seen you eyeing up that Christmas cupboard.

I've thought about it,

I've warned you before, Gerry.

If anything, I prefer it

If Michelle's mother was given the big bowl

If she joins the group, James has to leave.

If we both rock in wearing these.

If we go back for him, we're gonna miss the start of the concert.

If you meet Bill Clinton, you'll be a president up.

If you say so, Mae, but I spent a summer in Killybegs,

If you went about saying Bill Clinton was in Burt,

If you're caught doing them, and I like my kneecaps, Michelle.

If your mother saw thon hat,

Imagine that. It's almost like they have their own free will.

Impress me.

In a personal sense.

In a political sense,

In a statement released earlier this evening, they said

In an embarrassing attempt to suck up to the teacher.

In fact, don't even breathe.

In the King's Hall this evening as the British pop sensations Take That

In this country, you can lose your kneecaps

In whether you were a fully blown Protestant

Injustice!

Interesting.

Interesting.

Interesting. I've always wanted a gay friend.

Is a pretty insulting form of payment.

Is because, as far as I'm concerned, you can't be Protestant enough.

Is coming here, to Derry.

Is it any wonder, Clare? What are you wearing?

Is it just me, or is that gypsy an absolute ride?

Is it working?

Is it?

Is she all right?

Is she drunk?

Is talking about Sarah's frock.

Is that a feeling, Bridie, or an instruction?

Is that all you have to say?

Is that an Ulster Bank keyring?

Is that clear?

Is that clear?

Is that different? I don't think that's different.

Is that grand, or is that actually a criminal offense?

Is that right? I'm not sure that's right.

Is that what this is?

Is the thinking now, is it?

Is the very fucking definition of a creep convention.

Is the water rising?

Is there anything that we all want?

Is there some sort of a problem here, girls?

Is there something we can do for you, Colm?

Is this about the curse, Eammon?

Is this my wake?

Isn't it a crying shame neither of you got her looks?

Isn't that right, Mary?

Isn't that the theme tune to Home and Away ?

It can try.

It clashes with my thing.

It counts towards our final grade, people.

It definitely was.

It does sort of seem like that's what's happening, actually.

It doesn't make sense.

It doesn't matter that you've got that stupid accent,

It doesn't meet the official requirements,

It gets more attention. I read it somewhere.

It helps us understand each other

It is a bit much, Mary. I did try to tell you.

It is a sort of splendid torch

It is dragged from the depths of the soul.

It is indeed, yeah.

It is my pleasure to introduce

It is not that difficult, folks.

It is, Gerry, aye.

It is, indeed, Sister.

It is. They're all thick as shit. I despise them. I really do.

It just came out, Mammy.

It just doesn't make any sense.

It looks worse than it is.

It means that a bit of discipline would do those girls no harm.

It means you need to loosen the fuck up.

It might be sort of frowned upon.

It really makes you think, doesn't it?

It should be just up here on the left.

It was it was dead funny.

It was a taxi dispatcher from Burt

It was always, "Oh, Cathy, why did you stay out all night?"

It was fine where it was, dicko.

It was just a very tragic

It was mutual. It was definitely a mutual thing.

It was nice of Michelle to lend it to you, love,

It was the summer we dared to dream.

It was wrong. She shouldn't have been sacked.

It wasn't my poor sister's fault.

It wasn't Pete Postlethwaite, Da.

It will work out.

It won't budge.

It'll be a laugh. And I'm definitely an upgrade.

It'll be grand, love.

It'll change my life, Gerry.

It'll make tracking Clinton down much easier.

It's "Rock the Boat."

It's a Doctor Who night.

It's a television.

It's a two hour drive with traffic, love.

It's a very bad idea.

It's about The Troubles,

It's actually really, like, laid back, chilled, who gives an eff kind of thing.

It's actually very informal.

It's all good, man. I

It's all he ever goes on about.

It's all so fucking soulless now.

It's barbaric.

It's because his natural voice is actually very seductive.

It's been a real passion project, a real labor of love,

It's been an absolute free for all.

It's bound to be a bit of a culture shock, Mae.

It's Bridie's corpse. It's Bridie's dead corpse.

It's called a haiku.

It's called a hangover, Clare. You'll be grand.

It's desperate, so it is.

It's eight hours till the doors open.

It's eight months away, love.

It's fine. I'll be your partner.

It's fuckin' heartbreaking.

It's gonna be jammed.

It's got your man in it,

It's grand, Clare. I think she bought it.

It's grand. I swiped my ma's credit card.

It's her loss. That wave machine is absolutely cracker.

It's her wake. What were you expecting?

It's Jesus as a wain.

It's just a dead body, James. We're all going to be one someday.

It's just a little token, really.

It's just Bridie.

It's just it's pink, white and purple, Dennis.

It's just not part of our culture.

It's just that red's my color.

It's just that we have been conditioned to

It's just the done thing, kidnapping wise.

It's just, I couldn't help but notice

It's like a fine whiskey.

It's like a second skin.

It's like he's saying...

It's like he's sending me messages through the TV

It's my favorite quote.

It's never Pete Postlethwaite.

It's nice to have a bit of support at this very difficult time.

It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal at all.

It's not a creep convention.

It's not all shite you talk, Gerry.

It's not dirty work. It's an outdoor pursuits weekend.

It's not happening. Drugs are for mugs, folks.

It's not how I'd want to go.

It's not often in life

It's only a bowl.

It's our mothers, and we'll never get them to change their minds.

It's pig's blood. It's pig's blood!

It's really comfortable, actually.

It's so mortifying.

It's some guidelines, things you are and aren't allowed to say

It's someone failing to be bold.

It's terrible. There's old people down there.

It's the best spot. I got the best spot.

It's the eyebrows.

It's the one place the boring bastard doesn't talk.

It's time to crown our Prom Queen.

It's totally grand, Clare. I do it all the time.

Jack Daniel's, mostly.

James said that you wouldn't mind if I just...

Jeepers.

Jenny Joyce.

Jenny.

Jenny's done some number in here.

Jesus Christ, Erin.

Jesus Christ, he's following us.

Jesus Christ, look.

Jesus Christ!

Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ. Why is the water rising, James?

Jesus wept. How much further, Jim?

Jesus, but I'm fuming, so I am.

Jesus, but she's no shame.

Jesus, but that taxi took forever, so it did.

Jesus, but they never get a minute.

Jesus, but this is an ordeal.

Jesus, check out Rain Wain.

Jesus, Clare, you've no bra on?

Jesus, Clare.

Jesus, Jim.

Jesus!

Jesus. Are they really? Are they breaking up?

Jesus. Really?

JFK spoke to Colm? Christ, that man didn't have much luck, did he?

Jim across the road lent me his tranquilizer gun.

Jim really buzzes off radio contact.

Jim's bringing his equipment over.

John over there was just saying

John Paul's over there.

John Paul's picking me up at seven.

John's really dying for peace, like, isn't he?

Jonjo and the lads,

Jump in.

Just a wee joke there.

Just be confident, Erin. Boys like that.

Just because of the whole

Just fuck up and link on.

Just grabbing a few wee bits for the prom.

Just in case she recognizes my handwriting.

Just makes you want to

Just one announcement today, girls.

Just outside the Abrakebabra in Coleraine, apparently.

Just put your back into it.

Just so I'm clear, are you saying that the British government

Just so it holds for you.

Just that you're a bit... short.

Just walk on.

Just, you know, life.

Keep up the good work.

Keep your heads down and keep walking.

Keyser Söze?

Keyser Söze.

Lads aren't going to make friends with you, James.

Lads make friends with other lads.

Last night you said you hated Catholics. Admit it.

Let me ask you a better one.

Let me be clear. No one can claim this bag, is that correct?

Let me just rephrase slightly.

Let me see.

Let them. We need to break down these ridiculous conventions.

Let's do it.

Let's get a move on!

Let's get it together, please!

Let's just salvage what we can.

Let's just say she'll be wearing red, all right.

Let's leave it a minute.

Let's live a little, for fuck's sake.

Let's not add Take That to that list.

Let's start with similarities.

Lie our holes off.

Life should be spontaneous.

Listen here, you.

Listen, be sexy, OK?

Listen, I'll never forget this place.

Listen, Mary,

Listen, Philip, about the whole "which ear" thing

Listen, wains. I've already said this to Erin.

Listen, we have huge respect for you and your people.

Little House on the fucking Prairie?

London's Burning's on in 20 minutes.

Look at his eyes, he's a madman,

Look the only reason we're having a prom is because Jenny organized it.

Look this way, girls.

Look, Bill doesn't even get here till four o'clock tomorrow.

Look, Colm's met JFK.

Look, do you want to help Ms. De Brún or not?

Look, girls, I know how much you were looking forward to seeing This and That.

Look, Granda's had one, and now he's acting really, really weird.

Look, I don't have any gift.

Look, I just want to get my two back home, if that's all right, Mary.

Look, I'm not disagreeing with you.

Look, it was never going to work out between me and John Paul.

Look, it's a rough routine, Bridie.

Look, lads, if you want my opinion

Look, let's just get in there, have a few drinks

Look, Mary, there's something I need to say.

Look, Michelle, drugs are illegal,

Look, the riding of the Protestants is one thing,

Look, there just aren't enough Protestants to go 'round.

Look, there's a guy here. He knows Mae.

Look, this is driving me to distraction. We'll have to go back tonight.

Look, this is too important.

Look, we'll just whack a couple of dresses on it,

Look. The earrings. Look at the earrings.

Looking out over these historic walls,

Looks like they're breaking up.

Lose the jackets.

Lovely fella. Hands on him like shovels.

Lovely stuff.

Lovely stuff.

Lovely words, Jenny, well done.

Lovely.

Lovely.

Macca. Macca. Macca.

Macca. Tall fella, dark hair,

Mae went to my school.

Mae, stop.

Mae, wait.

Mae's just so cool and exotic, and you liked her so much.

Make a fucking decision. I've T shirts to flog.

Make your mark.

Making all party talks impossible.

Mammy hasn't been keeping the best lately, Joe.

Mammy, please.

Mammy, please.

Mammy, they don't come separately.

Mammy, we can explain.

Mammy!

Margo Murphy's niece saw him

Married to, uh, Patricia, I think it is,

Mary said you were having a wee night to yourselves,

Mary, Gerry.

Mary, Gerry.

Mary, look, this is a bit awkward,

Mass!

Maybe leave it another few minutes.

Maybe we don't need a Chinese person. We've already got a lesbian.

Me and my stepdad used to watch it when I was little.

Me either.

Me too.

Me, you and James are round Erin's,

Me. It's by me.

Michael. Sister Michael.

Michelle, James and Clare,

Michelle, listen.

Michelle, please.

Mine are pink. They're bright pink.

Miss Cheung's family have recently moved here to Derry,

Miss Quinn, you appear to be under the misapprehension

Mm, yeah, I suppose that's fair enough.

Mmm, tastes a bit like blood.

Mmm. What a fucking instrument.

Ms. De Brún has decided to leave us.

Ms. De Brún, she touched us.

Mum's had a lot going on.

My Aunt Cathy.

My Eammon has been waiting all night for this song.

My eyes are green.

My hat's a bit much? Really?

My Michelle is gonna be wishing

My mother rang? Why, is everything OK?

My mother, she had the gift too, you know.

My next Protestant gift delivery isn't due to arrive until Wednesday,

My own socks!

My poem. My glass doll poem. She's a doll made of glass.

Nearly bloody bankrupted us.

Neighbor of mine, Dickie Dunnagan,

No chance.

No cross contamination this time.

No down below action, that's what it fucking means.

No funny business with these Protestant lads. Is that clear?

No hate! No hate! Let's integrate!

No holding back.

No matter what you've done, you're still my sister.

No matter where you are, you're my guiding star."

No need to make a big song and dance about it.

No one's gonna recognize you, Clare.

No sign of life, Joe.

No there won't. The fact that this one's happening is a miracle.

No way, Jose.

No wild carry on. Do you hear me?

No worries.

No, Bridie, we're not.

No, but I believe your wife put some sort of curse on her.

No, Ciaran, because that would be

No, Donegal.

No, I can't stand them, if I'm being honest,

No, I mean, like actually hot, like physically hot.

No, I think it's tomato juice.

No, I think you can get them, all right, it's just

No, I understand the weak analogy.

No, I'm fine.

No, I'm not.

No, I'm the one taking the photo.

No, I've nothing to say. I just really need you to stop talking.

No, it's not. They are different.

No, listen. We're not gonna have a school formal.

No, look, that isn't

No, Mary, no. I I was just going to say that my poor mother,

No, no I don't.

No, no, look. It's James!

No, not at all.

No, Orla. Leave, then close the door.

No, Sarah.

No, she said to hang on to it.

No, these aren't any old scones, girls.

No, we didn't.

No, we fucking couldn't.

No, you don't understand. I really, really suit it.

No! No loosening up. I don't like it.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. I hate them. I think they're all arseholes.

No. I went to bed with my rollers in, sure it's always a nightmare.

No. No, I'm not actually, not that you give a shit.

Nobody crosses me, Clare.

Nobody good ever comes here 'cause we keep killing each other.

Nobody's gonna go looking

Nobody's picking up.

Not a bad send off in the end, I thought.

Not a baldy's.

Not a dickybird, Mammy.

Not a priest. Ugh.

Not a problem, as such. More of a a a question, really.

Not again.

Not even for Gary Barlow?

Not history class, Orla.

Not kill. Hex.

Not much of a sports fan.

Not real bridges, Mammy. Metaphorical bridges.

Not since I discovered it's the only way I can spend time with our Colm.

Not that kind of trampy.

Not that they need you to defend them, you big pair of knickers.

Not the Christmas cupboard.

Not to worry. Someone else.

Not very likely in my case.

Not yours?

Nothing but a pair of hallions.

Nothing but hatred,

Nothing heavy. Just a bit of blow.

Nothing much.

Nothing to worry about at all.

Nothing. We just thought that we should pull our weight a bit more, Mammy.

Now hold on a goddamn minute.

Now it makes sense.

Now she's coming this way.

Now she's getting up.

Now she's looking at the woman beside her.

Now she's standing right in front of us.

Now that you mention it.

Now will you see sense?

Now you tell me.

Now, back to similarities. Yes?

Now, close your eyes.

Now, I don't know who to ask.

Now, I'm just not sure it was the right decision.

Now, Jim, would you be open

Now, let me see who's first.

Now, there's the question.

Now, what else was there?

Now, where's your buddy?

Now. I have to go now.

Och, this is lovely, Gerry.

Of course not.

Of course not. Work away.

Of course she didn't buy it. She's onto us, I'm telling you.

Of course she's friends with a half Protestant. Of course she is.

Of course, I've got a bra on.

Of course.

Oh no, actually, I don't...

Oh, and FYI, the Prom Queen vote closes today.

Oh, beer. I see.

Oh, come on now. Don't be shy.

Oh, fine.

Oh, for Christ's sake.

Oh, for feck's sake.

Oh, for God's sake, Jenny.

Oh, for God's sake!

Oh, for Jesus' sake.

Oh, God, aye.

Oh, God. This whole writing from the soul carry on is a nightmare.

Oh, good evening, Sister.

Oh, here someone's just drawn a picture of a dog.

Oh, how did that get there?

Oh, I don't fucking think so somehow, dick face.

Oh, I just called round to help with this CIA business.

Oh, I really like them!

Oh, I was just about to try that one on.

Oh, I'm sure Sister Michael will be fully on board with that.

Oh, lads, you really shouldn't have.

Oh, my God, are you coming on to me?!

Oh, my God, are you jealous?

Oh, my God, it's the polar bear!

Oh, my God. That's the one.

Oh, no, it's not. It's actually not at all.

Oh, no...[laughs]

Oh, please, God, no!

Oh, Protestants like to march and Catholics like to walk.

Oh, she was very distressed. She wanted me to pass on a message.

Oh, thank God for that.

Oh, thank God. That would be all I need.

Oh, thanks for that, Clare. Yeah, that's helped.

Oh, that's fucking beautiful.

Oh, that's very clever.

Oh, this is actually quite hard.

Oh, we struggle through, Cathy, in our teeny tiny house.

Oh, well, this is fool proof.

Oh, yeah, like Pinocchio.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, you guys.

Oh, you've already written it down, have you?

Oh!

OK, can I just check something?

OK, can we just Jenny, could you just

OK, Clare. Yeah, I think we get the idea.

OK, girls, who wants to do drugs?

OK, how much money do we have?

OK, I think we all just need to take a moment.

OK, I think we should just move on.

OK, I'll head for the kitchen and grab whatever's still there.

OK, I'm not comfortable with the Chelsea bashing, girls.

OK, if we're going to do this, Michelle,

OK, it's not a creep convention, and it's not important.

OK, just a couple of things.

OK, let's cut the crap, Dee.

OK, normal people don't call it that, but yes. Yes, I am.

OK, OK, OK!

OK, OK.

OK, one at a time, please.

OK, so I say we just go over there and be ourselves, girls.

OK, so I'm trying not to think too much,

OK, so that's another difference,

OK, so there was a bit of a misunderstanding

OK, so, this is just a little exercise

OK, thank you.

OK, that bit wasn't an accident,

OK, that'll do, Bridie.

OK, then.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK. [laughs]

OK. Cara is not a model.

OK. I think I see where this is going. I get this a lot.

OK. It's just,

OK. It's just, you don't sound happy for me.

OK. Now that Mae has officially joined the group,

OK. So, Eammon, any craic with you?

OK. So, I see a few familiar faces out there.

OK. So, right.

OK. So, we both...

OK. We need to go.

Okay, cool. Sweet.

Old people are arseholes.

On the expedition today,

One day, girls, you too

One of his presidents is dead.

Only to be disappointed.

Ooh!

Or "Who was that man you were having dinner with, Cathy?"

Or a clove rock, maybe, but either way,

Or can you not get Protestant lesbians?

Or that your bits are different to my bits,

Or the school will sue.

Or will the Catholics be expected to do all the dirty work?

Or your man what you call him? the beardy fella in the hat,

Or, "To whom it may concern," do you think?

Or, you could give us the Subbuteo, and then we could work off the debt.

Ordering a car here to bring Bill to mass?

Orla really thrives in the wild, you know.

Our Lady Immaculate will play no part in this farce,

Our new English teacher made us rip up all our poems

Overreacting? That lad's got no trousers on, for Christ's sake.

Oy oy, where you going?

Oy, lads!

Oy! Wank features.

Part of the reason I became a nun.

Pass the can there.

Pass us one there, would you, Erin?

Pavo's "La Boheme" is very muscular,

People have been circling this spot like vultures.

People would think you were clean mad.

Philip's actually deaf.

Piano lessons!

Pipe the fuck down.

Piss off, Clare.

Piss off!

Piss off.

Play their first ever Northern Irish concert.

Please, you don't need to explain.

Plenty of time, I suppose.

Poetry is truth,

Poetry should always be read aloud.

Pop music isn't really my thing, truth be told.

Precisely.

Precisely.

Prejudice!

Prepare yourself, girls.

Present company included.

Prom? Sounds sort of...

Protestant mad, I am, and I think

Protestants are British and Catholics are Irish.

Protestants are richer.

Protestants hate ABBA.

Pull harder.

Quiet!

Quite a... well, quite a big difference.

Quite young. Southern.

Raise your hand if you want to ask a question.

Real history. History being made.

Really?

Relax your cacks, Clare. [clicks tongue]

Relax, Clare.

Relax, Clare. It's the weekend.

Right, OK.

Right, OK. Great.

Right, there they are.

Right, we need to clear this table.

Right, well, that's the dishes done.

Right, well, you know Macca?

Right, yeah. That that that must be tough.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right. And what sort of area is it?

Right. Get in the van, come on.

Right. I don't think the CIA enjoy people tracking the President down.

Right. I say we hit Primark first.

Right. Listen, girls.

Right. Maybe if we just tilt him this way a bit.

Right. Really?

Right. So, we all...

Right. Well, I don't.

Right. Well, I'm from Donegal, and we speak English there.

Ringing Russell Grant's horoscope line.

Robie?

Roger. Let's pack it up. Over.

Rolo, anyone?

Roped in? Hardly. He's riding Gary Barlow.

Roscarna Road! That's it! That's what they said!

Run, girls. Save yourselves.

Sadly, Sister Patrick has decided to leave us.

Salad, white. Hang on, rectangles or triangles?

Salt and vinegar in another.

Sarah, buzz Michelle's mother there.

Sarah, what are you doing here?

Schools across the city have decided to view it as such

Scones are lovely.

Scones.

See that bitch over there?

See that child over there? That child...

See, I think he needs to come forward a bit.

Self adhesive labels.

Self adhesive labels.

Seriously, Clare. The "sir" thing, just pack it in.

Seriously, folks, I'm not feeling entirely comfortable with this.

Seriously.

Sexy. Right.

Shall we break it up?

Shall we go?

Shall we just stop here on the left?

She always was one cold, self serving, wee madam.

She arrives anyway, and isn't she no sooner out of the car,

She can't do this.

She could have given Joan Crawford a run for her money.

She does have crafty eyes.

She got rid of it when we racked up that massive bill

She has already necked the guts of four bottles.

She has been fucking unbearable since them braces came off.

She has no authority over us at the weekend.

She has no respect for herself, and coming from me...

She has no right to question us,

She hasn't said two words since last night.

She is doing this to spite us, you know.

She likes my accent.

She made us think, she made us feel.

She needs you to help flog her fuckin' stickers.

She probably swooped in like a vulture before Mammy drew her last breath,

She really knows how to grab things by the balls.

She really suits being dead, doesn't she?

She ripped up your poems?

She runs the mobile library

She said we weren't writing from the soul.

She shouldn't be able to get away with that.

She spelled "Robbie" wrong on every single T shirt.

She traces things we haven't even done back to us.

She tried her best with both of you,

She tried to muscle in. Things got ugly.

She tried to set us on fire.

She was mauled to death by that thing when I get my hands on her.

She was talking about how she wasn't going to let Jenny

She was that happy, Mary,

She'd be turning in her grave, for it's nothing but a bloody eyesore.

She'd have been better with a stud.

She'll let you down again. You do realize that.

She'll think twice next time.

She's 16, Sarah. Sure, she's past the cut off.

She's a bit of a bitch, but cracking eyeliner.

She's a glass doll. I read it to you last night.

She's a total ride, but she paper clips her frocks together.

She's absolutely fucking flying.

She's an inspiration.

She's asked me to be a partner in her business, actually, Michelle, so...

She's changed my life, she really has.

She's done some modeling.

She's done some modeling. There's a difference.

She's from Donegal. And can't you see what she's doing?

She's great, but it's just that I have a feeling

She's much more than a teacher.

She's my mum, Michelle.

She's not a kidnapper.

She's not gonna be on Baywatch, Orla.

She's not gonna do a Carrie.

She's pretending she's on Parkinson again.

She's returning to her missionary work,

She's taking a teaching post in Belfast, Sister.

She's... oh, God, where's she gone?

Shh.

Shift it. Let's go.

Shit!

Should I maybe buy meself another hat?

Should I start, "Dear Sister Michael,"

Should we head?

Should we save the poor fella?

Show them the bruise, Eammon.

Shut up, Joe.

Shut up, Orla.

Single file.

Sister Michael, I don't have a Protestant.

Sláinte.

Smart? Really?

So feel free to just go for it.

So good of you to come.

So he'll be the one actually dictating the speed of her drop.

So I just want to think along those lines for a moment.

So I says to meself, says I, "Colm, this is no day for a do."

So I thought you might want some company.

So I've asked Miss Mooney to photograph the scene.

So if you'll all follow me.

So Jim bought a couple of guns and just...

So the Clintons are staying in a taxi rank in the arsehole of nowhere

So the handover ceremony can take place.

So they are! How did she get them?

So we've gone a bit off course here.

So you accidentally wrote a ransom note, did you?

So you're completely in the clear on that front, Mary.

So, a getaway driver, essentially.

So, again, what we have there is a difference.

So, as far as I can make out,

So, Carrie is voted Prom Queen,

So, how do you want to do this?

So, how's the wicked witch of the northwest?

So, I bagged us up a couple.

So, I hope you'll all make her feel very welcome.

So, I'm really not afraid to put myself out there,

So, if she wants to be Prom Queen, let her be Prom Queen.

So, needs must.

So, Our Lady Immaculate girls have been split into groups,

So, perhaps my circle is a little bit more diverse.

So, should us two bad bastards hook up or what?

So, the poor girl, the bride now, this is,

So, these are the new, modern, up to date flags.

So, unless we dig Bridie up again...

So, we need to head southeast for 0.5 miles,

So, what, you're a gypsy now?

So, where would we be without you, Jim?

So, who agrees with Tiny Tears? Who thinks we should go back?

So?

So? Drugging people isn't a crime.

So...

Some flowers are small.

Some flowers barely grow at all."

Some sense at last.

Someone might give him a lift.

Something troubling you, Bridie?

Something you despise.

Something you hate.

Sometimes I'll just say something to get me from one sentence to the other, Joe.

Sometimes in order to do the right thing,

Sometimes, when Robbie's being interviewed,

Sorry to interrupt, Sister,

Sorry, it was all decided so quickly.

Sorry, love, that's been left over for someone.

Sorry?

Sorry?

Sorry. What happened there was,

Spill anything on it, or, like, sweat.

Ssh! Listen.

Ssh! She's coming over.

Step aside.

Stickers?

Still a prick, I see, Joe.

Stop listing presidents, Colm!

Stop talking, James.

Stop! Stop it! Get me out of here!

Sure a bullet couldn't take your mother out.

Sure didn't she drop dead at the bingo?

Sure he couldn't get enough of them.

Sure isn't he a great fella altogether?

Sure she was like Mowgli, running around them woods.

Sure their hair had never seen a brush

Sure, I was admiring that bowl only yesterday.

Sure, isn't that why people call me the Theme Queen?

Sure, of course, but maybe you could soak it up

Sure, she'd put you to shame.

Sure, the concert's nowhere near the zoo.

Sure, why didn't you just sell the wains into white slavery and be done with it?

Sure, you know how it is.

Sure.

Sure.

Surely, Mary, go ahead.

Sweet Jesus.

Sweet Jesus.

Sweet suffering Jesus.

Take it easy, Oliver Reed.

Take that tone with her again and I'll lay you to rest, boyo.

Teenage boys can be very convincing, Erin.

Tell her we need our wains back.

Tell me about it.

Tell me about it. It's a fuckin' nightmare.

Tell me this, wains. How were the eyebrows?

Tell you what, girls.

Than she's lifted up in the air, like a paper doll,

Thank God.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks for coming, guys.

Thanks, son.

That being the main one.

That Catholics and Protestants have in common,

That escaped from Belfast Zoo this morning has been recaptured.

That has led to the deaths of more than 3,000 people.

That he be passed around all the schools in the Derry diocese.

That her replacement would arrive today,

That in me younger years I didn't enjoy a boiled sweet,

That is correct, Miss.

That is not bad, actually.

That is simply not true.

That is what I see, today with you.

That it may not have been a CIA agent

That it quite clearly helped to revive...

That might be the dickiest sentence that anyone's ever said.

That must be some comfort to you.

That quiche isn't cooked, Gerry.

That right, Bridie?

That should have a peaceful and prosperous future,

That there is in fact a good chance

That thing does nothing for you.

That time we went camping in Portsalon,

That totally just wrecked my buzz.

That under no circumstances will his party sit at the same table as Sinn Féin,

That unites every single person in this room?

That usually does the trick.

That was an ill judged attempt at humor, Miss Quinn.

That you and Cara were sort of breaking up a bit there.

That you can address me as though you are my equal.

That's a shame.

That's actually a difference.

That's actually a very inappropriate question.

That's actually quite funny.

That's beautiful.

That's enough, James.

That's ever likely to happen here. We should be part of it.

That's hilarious.

That's my Auntie Ann, third from the left. She's not dead.

That's my cousin.

That's my purse.

That's not helping, Michelle.

That's not the only way.

That's not the point.

That's not true.

That's not true. That can't be true.

That's not what I would call it.

That's out of order, Erin. She's Chinese, for God's sake.

That's quite enough.

That's right.

That's right. Well, Janet.

That's the last time I let you organize a night out.

That's the truth, Eammon. I wouldn't know where to start with all that carry on.

That's what you're worried about, Clare?

That's why we've decided to take Chelsea off their hands.

That's... that's not what you're giving to the Protestants, is it?

The Bishop graciously bestowed a beautiful piece of religious art

The Board of Governors promised me

The can of...

The cinema has stopped showing it.

The Clintons?

The creep convention? Seriously?

The DUP leader, Ian Paisley, has said

The egg and cress in rectangles,

The enchanting Child of Prague.

The fact that people here use the word "wee"

The farmer from Glenroe.

The fella with the bad leg is covering for him, Da.

The fella with the bad leg said it wasn't, Mary.

The hairdresser certainly did.

The IRA have called a ceasefire.

The label said mahogany. Sure, that's barely oak.

The lads, they worked it out. They've gone to the pub, together.

The last thing we want is another dead body on our hands here.

The mediator is here.

The money will be back in her account as quick as it went out.

The most godawful song ever written.

The one that knocked the old slavery on the head.

The other day.

The picture's just gone a bit sort of

The polar bear.

The polar bear's not the one stopping us going to the concert.

The President of the United States of America

The President of the United States of America!

The Prods have landed.

The rest of us are right here.

The rest of you look out for any ones that have gone rogue,

The RUC have launched a widespread search,

The size of golf balls, they were.

The small, annoying one thinks we should go back for him because... ?

The sooner this is done, the sooner we're back in the van

The statue was stolen from this room,

The taxi's booked.

The thing is, I just have so many questions about God,

The way you treat this fella, it's disgraceful.

The wee feckers.

The woman abandoned her own wain, Sarah.

The woman next to me is eating an egg and onion sandwich,

The woman. The small, angry penguin woman.

The works. I couldn't say no, really.

Their wee beekeeper costumes are so cracker.

Them waterproof trousers do wonders for my hole.

Then again, I am a lad.

Then I'm sorry, but any friendship we have is over.

Then return them the next day.

Then that's what they are. Absolutely. 100%.

Then there's this other fella.

Then we'll barricade the front door,

Then we've drugged those people, Michelle.

Then why can't you wear metaphorical trousers?

Then why do you do it?

There is lots of things wrong with my Easter dress.

There should be 50, because the stars represent the states, so

There we are.

There we go. Hmm?

There would be a complete cessation of all military operations.

There's a polar bear on the loose that could maul us to death thing.

There's also quite a few stars missing.

There's at least five fellas that fancy the arse off me,

There's been a deep lack of trust between your communities,

There's big Johnny Keyes, who works in Dunnes.

There's drug scones down there. If people eat the drug scones,

There's just nothing that doesn't suit me.

There's mixers as well. I'm not a savage.

There's no dark forces at play here.

There's nothing wrong with your Easter dress.

There's only a couple of snowballs left, Mary.

Therefore, we are joined this morning

These are funny scones.

These faces from the past?

These lads bothering you girls?

These lads have moves, you said so yourself, Michelle.

These lads tried to throw my Clare off a cliff.

These Prods have got some serious moves up their sleeves, you know.

They are. They're breaking up. This is class.

They didn't want to make it into a big thing.

They do, actually. I met her at ballet class.

They don't have people from Derry on Baywatch, OK?

They don't let you smoke in here, Ciaran. Can you credit it?

They had ambitions,

They had dreams like you do.

They have been running about all day like a couple of wild animals.

They might come into your house and rip your throat out,

They might get the wrong idea.

They must have had a few drinks and lost track of time.

They put the work in. They know what they're doing.

They suit my knees.

They went to that concert,

They were having a party. I could hear the music.

They were so angry with us, he could be in danger, Rita.

They were two for one, James. Stop crying.

They weren't talking about the British Empire, Sister.

They will stop you, Joe. They're the CIA.

They won't give me a refund if there's a whiff off it.

They'll be far too busy.

They're about to blow up an entire suitcase of vodka, Michelle.

They're actually fuckin' talkin' to each other!

They're all arseholes.

They're called travelers now.

They're drug scones! She's put the drugs in the scones!

They're going to the concert, Da,

They're just not for me, Mammy. I'm sorry.

They're just people, James. They're just people exactly like us.

They're Mammy's. She's wearing Mammy's earrings.

They're not as fucked up about sex as we are.

They're not flattering.

They're not prostitutes, Michelle, and even if they were,

They're not so different from you, really.

They're not stickers. Labels. They're labels.

They're quick on their feet when they wanna be, love.

They're talkin' to each other now!

They're the new ones, so they are.

They're trying to discover the location of the presidential basecamp.

They've got dead strict about swimming caps.

They've had the very Tunnock's, Mary.

They've just brought them out.

They've only just brought them out.

Thick as fuck but a massive, massive ride.

Things are done differently in this part of the world,

Things are going to be different this time, I tell you.

Think it over. Give me a call.

This Ballynahinch lad, and as I say,

This Clinton boyo is actually America's 42nd president,

This document is an insult

This doesn't do my baps any justice.

This is 12A, right?

This is a big turnout.

This is a great plan.

This is a huge day. This is a massive, massive day.

This is a nice surprise.

This is actually nice.

This is all your fault, Gerry. I knew this would happen.

This is how you get rid of drugs, Clare.

This is serious, Michelle. People have gone to jail for less.

This is shocking.

This is so itchy now.

This is the biggest thing that's ever happened here,

This isn't bold, Erin.

This one has no name on it.

This one's called "Boys."

This person has written about how much they love their English class,

This stupid prick's broken the TV, Mary!

This thing's in Belfast?

This visit concerns me for a number of reasons, girls,

This was always gonna happen.

This was never my real life, it was just something that got in the way of it.

This web of lies we're spinning is getting out of control now, girls.

This would have been unimaginable, but here we are...

Thon Reagan character, he was another

Those ambitions?

Those boys, they'll tear you limb from limb.

Though I fear you may have had a wasted journey.

Thought I told you to stay in the car.

Thought you said you were building bridges.

Three cheese and tomato on brown bread.

Three.

To be bold,

To be honest, Sister and I'm not just saying this

To believe that the future can be better than the past,

To build on the opportunity you have before you,

To describe things that aren't even actually that small!

To John Paul when he gets here.

To just sort of let it flow through me.

To take risks.

To the following possibility at all,

To the majority of people of Northern Ireland.

To work together because you have so much more to gain

Told you she'd understand.

Too fucking right, I have.

Too late, Jenny. She's ours.

Traveler!

Travelers.

Truant! What is she not, Mary?

True enough, Mary. True enough.

Two with no onion.

Typical Donegal man. Always moaning.

Typical. I try and do a nice thing, and this is the thanks I get.

Ugh, that's minging, Erin.

Ulster.

Um, she's lost the plot.

Um, what did John say, Colm? For the love of God, what did he say?

Um... [clears throat]

Unfortunate that happened to

Unreliable narrators.

Until he croaks it and they're all,

Until one of them, the fat beardy one in the skirt,

Unto Our Lady Immaculate College:

Urgh.

Very good, Orla!

Vodka, did he say?

Waiting week after week, hoping today might be the day,

We all cry.

We all laugh. We all dream.

We brought some bits. Should we just leave them here?

We can't turn back. There's too much at stake.

We cannot broadcast the voice of Mr. Adams.

We cannot walk to Belfast.

We could also pretend we're sort of better than we actually are, so,

We didn't have a plunger, Eammon.

We don't actually have to fight a polar bear,

We don't have exact replicas, is the thing, though.

We don't.

We have never seen it before in our lives, have we, girls?

We have reason to believe they're staying in this vicinity.

We have some serious scandal, Mammy.

We have to do something.

We have to get them back.

We have to offer them some kind of incentive.

We haven't decided what we want to see yet, Da.

We haven't even left the estate yet, Orla.

We heard about your wee divorce. Nightmare.

We heard you boys are having a party.

We just call her that because she's got quite a heavy gait.

We just came in to do a wee decade of the rosary,

We just got each other, you know.

We just met James' mammy.

We just popped 'round because we had a few questions

We just thought we'd introduce ourselves and see

We just wanted to introduce ourselves and

We know.

We mean you no harm, sir.

We might have heard about it.

We must show no weakness. We must be as one.

We need a better plan.

We need someone to stay in the car, in case things don't go to plan.

We need to give James his notice.

We need to move quickly.

We needed energy for our poetry.

We never got to see Bros, New Kids on the Block, Right Said Fred.

We run after people and beat them up, for no fucking reason.

We seem to have gone down a weird road here, people.

We sent that letter over a week ago.

We should have entering into this weekend.

We should have took our chances with the gypsies.

We should talk about it,

We talked about this, Michelle. We agreed.

We totally suit.

We wanna swap.

We wanted to have a real, old school, retro, vintage vibe,

We were doing her a favor, Eammon.

We were just going to take a handful of chocolate money, Mary,

We were just hanging out at Ms. De Brún's house.

We were just wondering,

We were just working on our English project, Sister.

We were so close.

We were told it was an all girls school. You've been a bit short changed there.

We were tryin' to save you!

We weren't give the day off, Mammy, we're playing truant.

We will be.

We won't have missed anything.

We'd better get going before Clare cacks herself.

We'd like to let you in on our little secret.

We'll call it 16 quid.

We'll give him back on the condition that Ms. De Brún is rightfully reinstated.

We'll just we'll just stick it back on.

We'll just stick it back on. It'll be fine. It'll be fine.

We're about to have our tea.

We're back in the same place.

We're doing it for peace, all right, Mary.

We're doing this to reach across the divide.

We're going to bring her to Lisnagelvin swimming pool.

We're going to this prom thing on Saturday night.

We're gonna get caught, I just know it.

We're gonna have...

We're in enough bother as it is. Best behavior.

We're just too pasty.

We're low on vol au vents, Gerry.

We're meant to be together.

We're not abducting him, Clare. We're kidnapping him.

We're not actually gonna have a school formal this year.

We're not doing this to get off with Protestant boys, Mammy.

We're not gonna get caught, Clare,

We're not gonna try and change their minds.

We're not made of money, Michelle.

We're stressed.

We're talking no case scenario!

We're talking worst case scenario.

We're travelers, so we're obviously violent!

We're travelers, which means we're psychopaths.

We've already missed Coronation Street.

We've come this far. We're not turning back.

We've got plenty of time, is all I'm saying.

We've just had a wee security alert there.

We've just started seeing each other, actually.

We've only known her, like, two days.

Well spotted, Jim.

Well, at least they got a good day for it, Mary.

Well, every cloud, as they say.

Well, everyone kept saying, you have to ask a fella you really like,

Well, fuck off, then.

Well, he did have a strong Donegal accent,

Well, he was caught getting down and dirty

Well, he's not English for a start, so...

Well, I am. I'm over the moon.

Well, I can make friends with a full Protestant

Well, I guess we never knew

Well, I left it over, so...

Well, I like the look of that one with all the lads in the line up.

Well, I mean, there is some truth in it, but

Well, I slightly misjudged the level of my own voice, I think.

Well, I think a load of perverts getting together to wank over some fella

Well, I was going to ask you to be my date.

Well, I'm at a wake, Mr. Quinn, so I've had better evenings.

Well, I'm not complaining.

Well, I'm not convinced that's actually true.

Well, I'm not letting that fat furry fuck ruin the biggest day of my life.

Well, I'm sorry, James,

Well, I've narrowed it down to two.

Well, if he really likes you, it won't matter what you wear.

Well, if you'd wear the bloody hearing aid I paid a fortune for,

Well, is it a bit weird she's invited us to her house at night?

Well, isn't this romantic?

Well, it's a bit more complicated for me.

Well, it's all right for you, Clare, but we want to bunk these lads.

Well, it's not really, I suppose.

Well, let them try and bloody stop me.

Well, Mammy was just so well liked.

Well, neither they should, and I'll be ringing them to say as much.

Well, no, not exactly.

Well, not totally ourselves. We should definitely be a bit ourselves.

Well, ruby's mine, so...

Well, someone should have called social services then, James.

Well, take it off then, Mary.

Well, that certainly explains a few things.

Well, that got to the bottom of it, all right.

Well, that is a bit inappropriate.

Well, that's us away.

Well, that's what's so clever about it.

Well, the old knee's giving me a bit of jip,

Well, the pair of you better sort it out.

Well, there's no height restrictions...

Well, they have a very basic grasp of the creative process,

Well, they just get me.

Well, they use the term "buddy,"

Well, they're six foot under now,

Well, this prom is going to be a full blown dick fest.

Well, who is she?

Well, why in under God weren't you writing from the soul?

Well, why would I lie?

Well, you can't have it.

Well, you did dump him here, quite a long time ago.

Well, you should be proud of yourself.

Well, you're just such wonderful company, girls,

Well?

Were they looking well?

Were you stealing Mammy's earrings?

Wh what does that mean?

What about the fact that we all feel,

What about this Keyser Söze fella?

What am I not?

What am I supposed to do?

What are they, like, glued on or something?

What are we gonna do? What in under God are we going to do?

What are we playing at?

What are you at?

What are you bringing to the table?

What are you doing here?

What are you futtering at?

What are you guys up to?

What are you in such a good mood about?

What are you playing at? Get in the van, fucko.

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? You love it here.

What are you trying to do, change race?

What are you up to? What do you want?

What can we do?

What did you do? What did you say?

What do you think of this one?

What do you think, James?

What do you think?

What do you want me to say?

What does that mean?

What exactly is the plan over there?

What first attracted him to a career in retail, do you think?

What happened to life should be spontaneous?

What happened to your face?

What I'm saying is that it would be quite a lot of ground for him to cover.

What if an old person takes one?

What if he gives us dodgy gear?

What in God's name have you done?

What in under Christ have you done now?

What in under Christ?

What is going on, James?

What is it we should be doing, Miss?

What is it you want to do?

What is it?

What is that?

What is wrong with you?

What kept you two?

What kind of person brings hash scones to a wake?

What takes you to Belfast?

What that Cromwell fella got up to next.

What the blazes is wrong with you? Mouth!

What the fuck am I supposed to do? They'll never take this back now.

What the fuck are you on about?

What the fuck does bide mean? Bide? That's not a word.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

What the fuck just happened?

What the fuck's that?

What the fuck's wrong with you?

What the hell is he planning to do?

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

What time's your date arriving at, Orla, love?

What was it his name was, now?

What with there being such a high fucking demand

What with your stimulating conversation and razor sharp wit.

What would the Clintons be doing in Burt?

What, Gabriel Byrne?

What, not even a bra?

What, shot them?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? But that's not fair. He's the only good looking one.

What? She doesn't want her big bowl back?

What? Who?

What? Why?

What? With, like, a human?

What? You didn't bring both boys to the prom, did you, Michelle?

What?!

What?!

What's going on, Michelle?

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's going on? Oh, don't tell me.

What's gotten into you two?

What's happening?

What's he saying?

What's in your hand?

What's so class about scones?

What's that supposed to mean?

What's that supposed to mean?

What's the word now? normal.

What's this?

What's wrong with Clare?

What's wrong, Sister?

What's yours?

When a polar bear escaped from its enclosure.

When it came to the whole present buying thing, because

When JFK came to Dublin, Uncle Colm met him. Daddy didn't.

When Sarah asked me to the cinema,

When we were wee, we always went to parties dressed the same.

When?

Where are the scallions?

Where are you planning on getting a bit of blow from, Michelle?

Where is James?

Where's Ms. De Brún?

Where's your socks, love?

Whereas I've been writing for years,

Which ear?

Which I've got hold of for the moment,

Which is interesting, now, because JFK, well, he was the 35th.

Which makes me want to pull off my own face,

Which of these do you like best?

Which the boys have cleared up for us now, so

Which unfortunately led to a physical altercation.

Which would be, what, 3.56 over four weeks.

While driving. OK. Fine. Good.

Who am I, Magnus fucking Magnusson?

Who are you, his agent?

Who fights with Hoovers and rides aliens in a telephone box,

Who hasn't lost a cousin or two in their time?

Who just gives away their big bowl, Gerry?

Who just managed to upstage the actual bride.

Who put 50p in the eejit?

Who the real Ms. De Brún was.

Who told you about that?

Who'd like to go first?

Who's her dad? Pierce fucking Brosnan?

Who's Keyser Söze?

Who's Keyser Söze?

Who's pulling the strings for Strabane?

Whoa. She has a really fucked up accent.

Whose side are you on, Orla?

Why are you whispering?

Why did you think we were chasing you?

Why do they keep touching themselves?

Why do we even have to talk to her?

Why does everybody get so sentimental about old people?

Why does Jim across the road have a tranquilizer gun?

Why don't you hop in?

Why has she got so much money anyway?

Why is everyone so desperate for them to mix?

Why is that interesting?

Why is this place so mental?

Why isn't anyone dancing?

Why not?

Why the hell would I want to touch her?

Why would you do this?

Why would you have thought we were talking about athletes?

Why you had to bring all of your friends in there with you.

Why?

Why? W w why would you think that?

Why's it so heavy? Aren't they meant to be 90% wool?

Wild animals would have more manners.

Will just be an old photograph in a hallway.

Will visit both sides of the community during his trip to Belfast,

Will we need our passports, Gerry?

Will you shut the fuck up?

Will yous all just shut the fuck up? It's fine.

Wise up, Mammy.

Wise up. Macca.

With all due respect, this has got nothing to do with you.

With meaningless crap, you know?

With some hooker in the back of his BMW.

With your eyes open and, you know, on the road.

Without having her personality dragged into it.

Wonder what's keeping Daddy?

Wonder why.

Wonky nose from when he used to do the bareknuckle boxing.

Would it be worth maybe checking next door, Jim?

Would there be much money in sticker making, Cathy?

Would you like another cup of tea there, Mammy?

Wow.

Write this down

Yay!

Yeah, because they're known for their impeccable manners.

Yeah, God, I just hate possessions so much.

Yeah, he may be a lad, Jon,

Yeah, he missed the boat, all right.

Yeah, I can see why you might want to remain anonymous, all right.

Yeah, I know, but,

Yeah, I thought the blue.

Yeah, I wasn't really listening, to be honest.

Yeah, I'm going out with the biggest ride in Derry,

Yeah, it was a difficult decision, but Paul, my ex, well,

Yeah, it's needy. What you should do is take your mind off it.

Yeah, mine too.

Yeah, she's really...

Yeah, so do I.

Yeah, so is ours.

Yeah, that's definitely the same.

Yeah, that's definitely what's happening.

Yeah, we could do chores and stuff.

Yeah, we'll just swap over. You take Harry, I'll take Lee.

Yeah, well, I thought we were.

Yeah, well, she did leave it over, so...

Yeah, well, we have about £17.50 between us, Mae,

Yeah, well, we've the right to slag her off. We put the hours in.

Yeah, you look like a fucking Provo.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, obviously I totally agree.

Yeah. I thought so too.

Yeah. No, obviously I get that.

Yes, great. Off you go.

Yes, I am, and it's a bloody nightmare, if I'm being honest with you.

Yes, Joe.

Yes, Sister Michael.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes?

Yes. Right, sorry.

Yes. Yes, I think I do, actually.

You all right, Mary? How's the bowl working out for you?

You are seriously not going to pull them up about this?

You are very welcome, Mr. Malone...

You asked Granda to the prom?

You brought an entire suitcase full of vodka?

You can mix vodka with cider, right?

You can touch her if you want.

You can't just show up one day and join in.

You can't leave, James.

You can't let that go," for

You can't lift a wafer into your own mouth?

You can't sack her. You just can't!

You can't say "gypsy" anymore. It's insulting.

You cannot tap the CIA, Joe.

You deserve a bit of a break.

You didn't fight that wain, did you, Clare?

You do have cracking kneecaps, Clare.

You do so much for us, Aunt Mary.

You don't have much stuff.

You don't have to if you don't want to, James.

You don't understand, Sister.

You don't want a pack of wolves following your scent out in these parts.

You fancied him first, and your lack of moves won't be an issue.

You go on, love. You do your thing.

You go on. We'll see you there.

You have serious fucking anger management issues.

You have to do the wrong thing,

You have to give it a bit of a shock, now and again.

You have to keep it on its toes.

You hear me, boy?

You hoked about in there long before the wains did.

You in there?

You inspired me to do my greatest work.

You just have to make sure that you don't, like,

You know how it is.

You know John. Lovely fella.

You know she only thinks about herself, James.

You know that going in.

You know what Bill's like.

You know what, girls?

You know what? I don't need this. I'm going.

You know you don't touch the Christmas cupboard.

You know your man, floppy hair, English,

You know, like, telepathically or whatever.

You know, there isn't even gonna be a DJ.

You might fail, so why bother trying?

You mind your own ear, Mary. Don't concern yourself with mine.

You must be Ms. Turner.

You need me to do it for you?

You need to learn when to push back.

You only get one life.

You said there was no curse.

You say another bad word about Coronation Street,

You should be ashamed of yourself.

You should definitely buy yourself another hat, Mary.

You should listen out for it.

You sit down on that floor at your own risk.

You snooze, you lose, Erin.

You think I'm here to answer questions, do you?

You think you left this James character with the gypsies.

You told us we had to come in, Sister.

You tried to swap us.

You were at her house? At night?

You were going to ask James to be your date?

You were picking up on that transmitter of yours,

You were right. I was jealous.

You were worried I'd think you'd put a curse on her?

You will go far in life, Jenny.

You wouldn't nip it in a bit for her?

You'd be surprised, girls.

You'd better not be sweating in that dress, Clare.

You'd have to camp overnight just to get a glimpse of him.

You'll be foundered.

You'll be glad to get out of this dive, love. I know I am.

You'll be grand.

You'll get into trouble, Aisling.

You'll have no trouble from us, Mary.

You'll have two presidents to my one.

You're a brick. [laughs] Let me just find my Filofax.

You're a Derry Girl now, James.

You're a lesbian, Clare, not desperate.

You're a little young to perhaps understand the enormity of this.

You're allowed to tear up the page and start over.

You're facing the wrong way, Orla.

You're grand. I was in a world of my own.

You're looking well, Joe.

You're not a tongue person, are you?

You're not allowed to smoke in this place.

You're not going to the prom then, James?

You're overreacting, Da.

You're such a wreck the buzz, Clare .

You're unbelievable.

You're up to something, and I'll get to the bottom of it.

You're very talented people.

You've a very loose grasp of the law, Michelle.

You've got red eyes 'cause I ran out of brown.

You've kept them eyebrows shipshape, so you have.

You've pure made that up.

You've strong armed him into taking you to the prom, Erin.

You've such a strong sense of community,

Your girls involved in this beheading too, then?

Your ma is a bit inappropriate.

Your ma won't trace it back to us

Your ma's drunk.

Your mother couldn't stick her.

Your mothers will be hearing about this.

Your other hand.

Yous girls never did know how to conduct yourselves.

Zara won't seem quite so impressive next to my thoroughbred, will she, Jenny?!

33 Bravo, this is 31 Alpha, over. [radio beeps]

"Bide." Bide?

[all agreeing] [thud]

[all laugh] What's happening?

[bottles clinking] [panicked groans]

[Clare] He said he hated us. No, I didn't.

[Clare] He's deaf in one ear? That's right.

[dispatcher] Five minutes, Bill. Good.

[door closes] And it was Wogan, for your information.

[doorbell rings] I'll go.

[doorbell] [Mary] It's open. C'mon in.

[doorbell] Fine, her eyebrows were exceptional.

[Erin] Michelle, you cannot say that. [Michelle] What?

[Erin] They're not. Well, they live in caravans, for a start.

[Erin] What do you mean? The eyebrows.

[explosion] [breaking glass]

[Father Peter] One... [chuckles]

[Father Peter] Two... [screams]

[girls chanting] Give peace a chance! Kill me.

[James] Reading her book. [laughing]

[James] What? He's obviously a psychopath. Run!

[Jon] Nature's calling. Whoa. Number one or number two?

[knocks on door] [door opens]

[Mary] Tell me about it. It's desperate.

[metal squeaking] [struggling grunts]

[Michelle] Come on, Jenny, don't milk it. [Aisling] Get off her.

[Michelle] Jesus Christ. [Clare] What's wrong?

[Sarah] Lovely. Happy days.

[shattering] [all gasping]

[silence] [student coughs]

[Sister Michael] Genius. Sister.

[students] What? Wise up.

[TV static, starts playing] Yes!

[whimpers] OK, everybody. So, on three...

[whispers] Yes. Now answer the question.

♪ Better the devil you know ♪ ♪ Whoa oh oh ♪

♪ Christmastime ♪ ♪ Silent night ♪

♪ Come on, let's go ♪ ♪ Come on, let's go ♪

♪ Don't you say it's the final kiss ♪ ♪ Stay now ♪

♪ Dum dum dum ♪ ♪ There ain't nothing ♪

♪ Dum dum dum dum ♪ ♪ On Monday morning ♪

♪ Hip hip hooray ♪ ♪ Hip hip hooray ♪

♪ I don't think I can take the pain ♪ ♪ Stay now ♪

♪ It's Monday morning ♪ ♪ It's Monday morning ♪

♪ It's Monday morning ♪ ♪ It's Monday morning ♪

♪ Mistletoe and wine ♪ ♪ Holy night ♪

♪ Oh, Monday morning ♪ ♪ Monday morning ♪

♪ Oh, Monday morning ♪ ♪ Monday morning ♪

♪ Stay now ♪ ♪ Baby, if you've got to go away... ♪

♪ That I can't do ♪ ♪ Do be do be do ♪

♪ Won't you stay another day ♪ ♪ Stay now ♪

A project. A history project. What about?

Actually, gypsy's fine. I knew it.

Am I dead? I've never heard wind like it.

and we pay the rest off in installments? Yeah.

And you are? Jenny. Jenny Joyce.

Any word from Chelsea? Not yet.

Are you Clare? That's right.

Are you on glue? Come on, link up.

Are you ready, Philip? Oh, yeah.

Are you sure? I'd be proud to have you on my arm.

Aye, me too. OK, let's do the photograph.

Aye, this isn't great. It's not that big a deal.

Aye. We need to shift ourselves.

Because he's a dickhead, Rita. See, it's tricky.

Because she's new, Michelle. I hate people I don't know.

Belfast? Are we not a bit early, Daddy?

Boring. Brilliant.

Bring it on! Yes!

But before we begin Begin what?

but needs must. This was you, wasn't it?

but then she dumped you? Miss Mallon, please.

But there's five of us. The point is...

By Christ, you're in for it, Erin. It was an accident, Mammy.

Cause her death? Coincide with her death.

Christ, but this is heavy. Sister, no, let me.

Come with me. Really?

Course. Absolutely.

Crap. Precisely.

Credit where credit's due. Ach, you're too kind, Sarah.

Da. It's one glass per head.

Da. Though it'll hardly touch the sides.

Dear Jesus! [static]

Dee. Whatever.

Definitely the pink. Has to be the blue.

Did your mother get a new big bowl? I don't think so.

Do they? Do they fuck.

Do you think it's your hat? What?

Doesn't mean you're in a relationship. We'll see about that.

Except different. Yes. No.

Excuse me, son. Where to?

Excuse me? I've got the tickets.

Excuse me? Just answer the question, Jon.

Fiddling. ...relations.

Fingering. Honestly.

Firstly, this is such an honor. [running footsteps]

Free. Big time.

Fuck a doodle do. What's a Carrie? What does that mean?

Fuck a doodle doo. Hi.

Fuck off. Just leave it, Michelle.

Fuck. We've clogged it. Who has a plunger?

Gerry will be with them, Da. Well, that's worse.

Get pissed. Hmm.

God, I'm sweltering here. Then take it off.

Good. Grand.

Great. Fine.

He sounds delightful. He really does.

He's gaining ground. [Sarah] What?

Hey. Hey! Jesus Christ.

Holy fuck. [Erin] Run!

Howdy, folks. Christ.

I am a lad. [laughs] So you are, James.

I can't do this anymore. Why?

I didn't kill her. You know what I mean.

I don't. What? You don't?

I hate to do this, Clare. I said it's fine.

I heard that too, the Baywatch thing. So did I.

I know. What rhymes with "ride"?

I know. We're cuttin' it fine. Belfast?

I like to kick off with. Oh, give me strength.

I remember your father at that age End that sentence now.

I suppose I'll have you, then. Aren't you a charmer?

I'd confront her about it. Oh, I intend to.

I'd just like to say a few words. Quick!

I'll be your date, Clare. But, Erin, people might talk.

I'll just give it to my bird. Your bird?

I'm not really sure that's Speak up.

I'm not sure I trust Chelsea anymore. Aye, Chelsea might be flaky.

I'm not sure. Well, I am.

I'm sorry, Erin. No, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry? Um, will you be my buddy, please?

I've got last week's parish bulletin. That'll do.

if you're watching... I'll never understand the point of it.

in Ballymagroarty. Quiet!

in me knickers. Right.

Is gypsy even a race? Traveler.

Is it? It is, yeah.

Is it? Yes, yes it is.

Is that true? Sort of.

Is that who was supporting them? Aye.

Isn't that the truth? What's she doing now?

It is a word, Michelle. Bide?

It still counts. Ssh!

It wasn't me, Mammy. Do not speak to me, Clare.

It wasn't us. This wasn't us. Yeah, right.

It's a grand bowl. I'm just a messenger, folks.

It's a pleasure. I know.

It's fine, Mammy. Indeed, it is not fine.

It's fine. It's definitely not fine.

It's nice. Stop it.

It's not in the listings anymore, love. What?

It's some film. Amazing.

James has a point. No, he doesn't.

James has the tickets. Shit!

Jesus. Exactly.

Kidnapper! Help! Fire!

Later, James. It can't wait.

Let me check. Get off me.

Let's glue him. Brilliant.

Lincoln. The very boy.

Long time, girls. It is indeed.

Lovely seeing you, Jenny. Take care, now.

Mae is one of us now, Erin. Mae's an arsehole.

Maybe that's not such a bad It is a bad idea, Sarah.

Me neither. Nor me.

Me too. Orla!

Me. I'm sorry?

Me. Really?

Morning, girls. [all] Morning, Sister Michael.

Motherfuckers! How's it been?

Move it. Shift it.

No chance. Ach, Daddy, he's only young.

No, there's not. There's only 30 stars here.

No. [Michelle and James] Never.

No. Well, you are now.

Nobody knows. It was the Bishop's wish

Oh, brilliant! I hate my life.

Oh, for f What got into you, girls?

Oh, God. What is it?

Oh, Jesus Christ. What is it?

Oh, my God. What?

Oh, my mammy said to tell you Her big bowl.

Oh, well done. It's not my fault.

Oh, yeah. Really?

Oh, you were right, Erin. Shut up, Orla.

Oh! Got it. [door opens]

Oh. In one ear.

OK, I'm going to flush. Go for it.

Orla! I like James.

Pricks. [Mary] That is enough.

Really? [James] Who are they?

Really? I'm happy for you.

Really? No, not really.

Really? Really.

Sarah? Ah, himself as well, is it? Great.

Says who? The rest of the world.

She did what?! She didn't.

She simply cannot do this. Well, she's done it, Clare.

She so knew it would look better on you. Exactly.

She wasn't. What?

She'd definitely fit. That is not the point.

She's coming. Who?

She's deranged. What?

She's up here. Jesus Christ.

Shh. But she's only 54.

Shit? Formal.

Sister Michael! Shit!

So, I know Mae from back home. From China?

So? Well, it should be red, white and blue.

Some of them left. Some states left!

Sorry, girls, I can't stop. Nobody wants you to.

Sorry? You know why I'm here.

Swap? [Michelle] Yeah.

Sweet Jesus. Hiya. How are you?

Take That. But there'll be other concerts.

Thank you? [baby cooing]

Thank you. Oh, God.

That close? I'll get the holy water.

That doesn't even make sense. Your ma doesn't even make sense.

That is bad. Exactly.

That is not true. Isn't it?

That is true. Aye.

That's not the end. It should be.

That's right. Some states left America.

That's what's going on. You stupid bloody eejit.

The other hand? Yes.

The wave machine's been fixed. Lovely.

There she is. [Michelle] What's she doing?

There you are. He's spied us.

They hate his kind there. My kind?

They're gonna kill us. Help us, please.

They're on the sideboard there. Thank you, Sarah.

This is some craic, isn't it? [James] Holy shit they're fast!

This suits you, doesn't it? Sorry?

Tits? Can't get enough of them.

To ride a model. She is not a model.

Tolerance of a rhino. Stop it, OK?

Travelers. Ooph. [thud]

Two for one? Where? Kays Catalogue.

Ulster Museum. What for?

Wank features stood you up. Yeah.

We can't do that. Why not?

We could keep her in my toy box. No, we couldn't.

We don't. Grand.

We have to swap. Swap?

We need a copy of today's newspaper. Why?

we need to do it delicately. Course.

We'd better hit the Guildhall. You're a bit early, are you not?

We're doing this for peace All right, Erin.

We're going to the museum. Which museum?

We're gonna do something else. What?

We're inside. Very sophisticated noses, Jon.

We're not dull. Sure.

We're not wee anymore, Orla. Aye.

We're talking about Bridie, aren't we? Yes, Da.

Well, hello there. Hi.

Well, I see you're hanging out with Mae. That's right.

Well, that backfired. What?

Well... [laughs]

What are we gonna do? Wait for them to release it on video.

What did I tell you? Aye, well done, Gerry.

What do you have in here, girls? It's not ours.

What do you mean? Well, she's a teacher.

What do you say? Sounds good to me.

What does he want? I don't know.

What equipment? Them old radio transmitters he collects.

What have you got in your hand? Nothing.

What if she's in there? It's Friday. She's at judo.

What should we do? I don't know.

What was that? Did we hit something?

What? Later.

What? The hat.

What? The Prom Queen thing.

What? They don't come in halves, Jenny.

What?! How are we gonna break it to her?

What's he doing? Now she's

What's in the suitcase, Michelle? Vodka.

When who got nabbed? [Michelle] Have you not heard?

Where will it end? Seriously!

Who is this blow in? Her name is Ms. De Brún.

Who said that? Who?

Why are you sticking up for her? Why are you slagging her off?

Why you being so weird? Why are you chasin' us?

Why? 'Cause he was a fuckin' arsehole.

Why? I'm not allowed to say.

Will any of your crowd be going, love? My crowd?

Winged or smudged? Sort of both.

Wow. ♪ I want you back for good ♪

Yeah, beer's nice. I love beer

Yeah, that's not flattering. Aye.

Yeah, yeah. You sure?

Yep. When did this happen?

Yes, please do. Creep.

Yes, yes they are. They're fucking madmen.

Yes. No.

Yes. Very much so.

You definitely shouldn't do that. Really?

You did, Erin. I've definitely heard you say it.

You don't look like a lesbian. What do you mean?

You look hot. Thank you.

You make stickers. For bespoke gift packages.

You still OK to drive us? What?

You thought she was a dick. I never said that.

you'd have heard what she said! It's unbelievable.

You'll have to share with James. [James] What? No.

You're a sticker maker? No. They're not stickers, exactly.

You're being paranoid. He was nice to Daddy.

You're loaded. Because I know what they like.

You're not going to read it out, are you? Of course.

You've never seen Carrie? No.

Yous must still miss her terrible, girls. We do, indeed.

...America's 30th,

...armed they were...

...both agree about the need to see an end to all acts of violence.

...in my head."

...large as life...

...she didn't mean what she said at the wedding.

...that's what He would sound like.

'Cause if it's a number two, it's safer to bury it.

'cause she's given the Chinese population in Donegal a really bad rap.

'Cause they're artists, granddad.

"An English rose among thorns."

"Be careful, child, of the doll made of glass,

"Bill"? Who are you, his ma?

"Catholics" sounds a bit like "athletes," to be fair to him, like.

"Colm, you'll need to get that seen to.

"Erin, I need some information.

"Goodbye, girls"? Wise the fuck up.

"I think boys are really class,

"Jaffa bastard"? You actually said those words?

"Lean on me, I'm here for you."

"Life is no brief candle to me.

"Robie." I mean, it so obviously doesn't look right.

"Rock the Boat." It's "Rock the Boat"!

"Sir"? What the fuck, Clare?

"Some flowers are tall,

"The bullets fired on the streets as I lie in my bed,

"The Flower" by Jenny Joyce.

"We need to show this man a bit of respect here. Let's stop all the clocks."

"You know we belong together, you and I forever and ever.

“Oh, I'll take you to the prom. Oh, the blue dress is better.”

“The school social event of the year is fast approaching,

“We are beyond the beginning, but we are not yet in sight of the end.”

["Bridal Chorus" playing on pipe organ]

["The Star Spangled Banner" plays]

[actor's voice] Well, with respect, and I mean,

[all murmuring]

[all sigh]

[all talking at once]

[all] No.

[all] Oh, whoa!

[all] That's correct.

[applause]

[bell on door dings]

[Bill Clinton VO] Standing here in front of the Guildhall,

[boy] Catholics watch RTE.

[boy] Fucking Catholics.

[brakes squeak, grind]

[bride sniffling]

[camera shutter clicks]

[chalk clinks on hearth]

[chuckles, clears throat]

[chuckles]

[chuckles] Tall, blonde, wears glasses.

[Clare sighs]

[Clare] OK.

[Clare] Then why are we doing it?

[Clare] There she is.

[clears throat] I did, Joe.

[clock ticking]

[coins jingle]

[Colm chattering]

[Colm] And that's not to say now

[crowd chanting] We want Bill! We want Bill!

[crowd chanting] We want Bill! We want Bill!

[crowd cheering]

[crowd gasps, murmurs]

[crowd grumbling]

[crowd murmuring]

[crowd murmuring]

[crowd yelling]

[crowd] Catholics... athletes...

[crunches]

[De Brún] It was difficult, so you've just given up.

[De Brún] Some wine?

[Dennis] That'll be £1.99.

[distorted voice on walkie]

[Donna Traynor on TV] A polar bear

[Donna Traynor on TV] And finally, amazing scenes

[Donna Traynor on TV] Because of government restrictions,

[Donna Traynor on TV] Despite John Hume's optimism

[Donna Traynor on TV] Finally, panic at Belfast Zoo today,

[Donna Traynor on TV] The SDLP leader, John Hume, has again called for

[door bangs]

[door creaks]

[door opens]

[door opens]

[doorbell rings]

[Eammon] My mother was right about you people.

[electronic dance music playing]

[electronic music playing]

[Erin yelling] It's Uncle Colm!

[Erin] But Ms. De Brún,

[Erin] Here's what I have so far.

[Erin] Ms. De Brún is amazing.

[Erin] That summer was a remarkable one.

[Erin] That wee girl?

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales] Your mum rang me.

[Father Peter] Is that everyone?

[Father Peter] Philip will control Clare's descent

[flushes toilet]

[footsteps approaching]

[garbled voices on radio, static]

[gasping]

[gasping]

[gasps from crowd]

[gasps]

[gasps] That's actually racist, Orla.

[Gerry] For the love of God, Mary,

[Gerry] I still don't understand

[Gerry] Just doesn't make any sense, Jim.

[Gerry] My money is on Alec Baldwin's brother.

[girl 1] Protestants love cleaning.

[girl 2] Protestants are taller.

[girls arguing]

[girls chanting] Give peace a chance! Give peace a chance!

[girls chanting] Give peace a chance! Give peace a chance!

[girls grunting]

[Granda Joe] He's here!

[gulping]

[hawk screeching]

[hip hop music plays]

[horn honking]

[horn honking]

[indistinct] I'm a Derry Girl!

[instrumental music playing]

[James] Nah, it's fine, mate.

[James] Why has he got a big red hat on?

[Jenny] Thank you, so much.

[Jenny] Well, well, well,

[Jim] Ssh, Joe.

[Joe] Ah, shite.

[Joe] Bill?

[John Hume] Ladies and gentlemen,

[kid coughs]

[kids chatting]

[kisses] See you later.

[knock at the door]

[knock at the door]

[knocks on door]

[knocks on door]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] Aye.

[laughs] Dark horse or what?

[Ma Mary] Parkinson? Does she know what time it is?

[man] You're a fuckin' prick, that's what you are!

[Mary] Gabriel Byrne, I'm telling you.

[Mary] I can't take it anymore.

[Mary] I just cannot get me head around it.

[Mary] Right, I see.

[metal scraping]

[Michelle clears throat]

[Michelle] He looks fucking raging.

[Michelle] How the fuck would you know what boys like?

[Michelle] I can't believe we're doing this.

[Michelle] This is rank.

[Michelle] You said it yourself, Erin, the greats don't come here.

[microphone feedback] Can I have your attention, please?

[movie music playing]

[Ms. Turner] We'd like to As to find As, Bs to find Bs,

[music playing on TV]

[mutters] Christ.

[opera music blaring]

[opera music continues]

[Orla coughs]

[Orla] Well, I'm just so torn.

[Protestant boy] Oh, my God! This is the best present ever!

[quivering] No, listen, you don't understand.

[radio announcer] The President of the United States,

[radio crackles]

[radio static continues]

[radio static, indistinct chatter]

[reggae music playing]

[reggae music playing]

[reggae music playing]

[rock music playing]

[rock music playing]

[running footsteps]

[school bell ringing]

[scoffs] They're people, Michelle. They're not sex toys.

[screaming and cheering]

[screaming] I don't want to die!

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

[sighs]

[sighs] What should you be doing?

[sighs] What's in this for me?

[Sister Michael] I will be taking this class for the rest of the term,

[Sister Michael] Jesus, girls. What are you still doing here?

[Sister Michael] OK, listen up, people.

[Sister Michael] Take a seat, Mrs. Devlin.

[Sister Michael] Take a seat, please, ladies.

[slurps]

[snaps]

[sniffs]

[soldier 1 over radio] All clear here, over.

[soldier 1 over radio] Powerful smell of vodka down here, over.

[soldier 2 over radio] I hear you, over.

[soldier over radio] ...in position.

[speaking Cantonese]

[spits]

[splashing]

[squeaking]

[static]

[students murmuring] What?!

[sucks in air]

[talking all at once]

[theme music playing]

[theme music playing]

[timer dings]

[TV anchor] And tonight's main story again:

[TV anchor] The British Prime Minister, John Major, said,

[TV anchor] The statement has raised hopes for peace

[TV reporter] The Prime Minister said

[upbeat electronic music playing]

[voice on radio] Aye, back in five.

[water dripping]

[water gurgling in pipes]

[water gurgling]

[water sloshing]

[whispering] We could replace them with exact replicas.

[whispers] A brick?

[wine glugging]

♪ ...be all right ♪

♪ ...being rich or being poor ♪

♪ ...don't go ♪

♪ ...head ♪

♪ ...I'll be home soon ♪

♪ ...is much the same As it was then ♪

♪ ...it's all right ♪

♪ ...like to know where ♪

♪ ...love and devotion... ♪

♪ ...place to harbor you and me ♪

♪ ...up next you ♪

♪ ...yourself and you will shine ♪

♪ 'Cause love is by your side ♪

♪ 'Cause there ain't no good in grief... ♪

♪ A time to rejoice ♪

♪ A train arrives ♪

♪ All right, all right ♪

♪ All right, all right ♪

♪ All right, all right ♪

♪ All right, all right... ♪

♪ An independent love song ♪

♪ And forever be true ♪

♪ And gifts on the tree ♪

♪ And give my love away ♪

♪ And I cry 'cause you're not here ♪

♪ And I know that it's not clear... ♪

♪ And I miss you, baby ♪

♪ And I would walk 500 more ♪

♪ And oh, my dreams ♪

♪ And so today... ♪

♪ Another boring love song ♪

♪ Another heart ♪

♪ Anyone could have done ♪

♪ As some sort of prototype I serve to be ♪

♪ Back in your arms To hear you say that ♪

♪ Before I have to go... ♪

♪ Better the devil you know ♪

♪ Bop bop, bop, bop ♪

♪ Bop bop, bop, bop ♪

♪ But I would walk 500 miles ♪

♪ But never leaves... ♪

♪ But nothing breathes ♪

♪ Can only get better ♪

♪ Can only get Can only get ♪

♪ Children singing Christian rhyme ♪

♪ Consume today and leave the rest behind you... ♪

♪ Crying in my head again ♪

♪ Didn't they say that I would make a mistake ♪

♪ Didn't they say you were gonna be trouble... ♪

♪ Do be, do be, do be, do be Do be, do be, do ♪

♪ Do be, do be, do be, do be Do be, do be, do ♪

♪ Do do do doo ♪

♪ Do do do doo... ♪

♪ Du, du, du, du ♪

♪ Du, du, du, du ♪

♪ Du, du, du, du ♪

♪ Du, du, du, du ♪

♪ Everybody Everybody... ♪

♪ Everything changes but you ♪

♪ Everything changes but you ♪

♪ Everything changes but you... ♪

♪ Everything's gonna be all right ♪

♪ Everything's gonna be all right ♪

♪ Get your gear and start to spend ♪

♪ Get your gear and start to spend ♪

♪ Go down, go down ♪

♪ Here we go again ♪

♪ Here we go again ♪

♪ Here we go go go to the temple of consumption ♪

♪ Here we go go go to the temple of consumption ♪

♪ Here we go go go with a total dedication ♪

♪ Here we go, here we go, here we go ♪

♪ High above... ♪

♪ Hoo hoo hoo! ♪

♪ I am the one and only... ♪

♪ I can tell by... ♪

♪ I know that things Can only get better ♪

♪ I said things ♪

♪ I tell you, baby They don't mean a thing ♪

♪ I want you back for good ♪

♪ I want you back for good ♪

♪ I want you back I want you back ♪

♪ I'll be thinking about you ♪

♪ I'll show you how to love me ♪

♪ I'll show you how to take me ♪

♪ I'll show you how to touch me ♪

♪ I'm doing it a different way ♪

♪ I'm doing it a different way ♪

♪ I'm doing it a different way ♪

♪ I'm too sexy for your party Too sexy for your party... ♪

♪ I've got the key ♪

♪ I've got the key to... ♪

♪ I've got the secret ♪

♪ If all you dreamed was new ♪

♪ If all you told was turned to gold ♪

♪ Imagine sky ♪

♪ In every possible way ♪

♪ In the good that we see ♪

♪ In your head In your head ♪

♪ In your head In your head... ♪

♪ Inside yourself ♪

♪ Inside yourself ♪

♪ Is changing every day ♪

♪ It's never quite as it seems ♪

♪ It's not my family ♪

♪ It's nothing like two lovers ♪

♪ It's really all right ♪

♪ Just one more kiss ♪

♪ Just to be the man... ♪

♪ Lay it on me You know ♪

♪ Let's get going It's a brand new day ♪

♪ Like only we could... ♪

♪ Lying in my bed again ♪

♪ Monday morning I love you ♪

♪ Move a step closer ♪

♪ Never quite as it seems ♪

♪ No don't be so sad ♪

♪ No don't be so... ♪

♪ Not you ♪

♪ Now don't you cry ♪

♪ Now, girl, don't go... ♪

♪ Oh, don't leave me alone like this ♪

♪ Oh, my life ♪

♪ Oh, yeah... ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh hoo ♪

♪ Our love is like a ship On the ocean... ♪

♪ Paint on a smile And start the show ♪

♪ Riding on any wave ♪

♪ Right on, right on ♪

♪ Right on, right on, right on ♪

♪ Rock the boat ♪

♪ Rock the boat ♪

♪ Rock the boat ♪

♪ Rock the boat ♪

♪ Rock the boat ♪

♪ Rock the boat ♪

♪ Rock the boat ♪

♪ Rock the boat ♪

♪ Rock the boat ♪

♪ Rock the boat ♪ ♪ Don't rock the boat, baby ♪

♪ Rock the boat ♪ ♪ Don't rock the boat, baby ♪

♪ Rock the boat ♪ ♪ Don't tip the boat over ♪

♪ Rock the boat... ♪

♪ Said I'd like to know where ♪

♪ Search for the hero ♪

♪ Search for the secrets you hide ♪

♪ Sharp, so sharp ♪

♪ Sharp, so sharp ♪

♪ Sharp, so sharp ♪

♪ Sharp, so sharp ♪

♪ Sharp, so sharp... ♪

♪ Silence ain't in season ♪

♪ So got anything? ♪

♪ So I'd like to know where ♪

♪ So the world goes round... ♪

♪ Something's come along And it's burst our bubble ♪

♪ Sometimes ♪

♪ Stay now, stay now ♪

♪ Such a shame... ♪

♪ That is the luck you crave ♪

♪ That's not to say The love we had... ♪

♪ The river flows ♪

♪ The rumors true ♪

♪ They are crying... ♪

♪ They don't believe it now ♪

♪ They just think it's stupid ♪

♪ They say the sky... ♪

♪ Things... ♪

♪ To be together ♪

♪ To rock the boat ♪ ♪ Don't rock the boat, baby ♪

♪ To your life ♪

♪ Uh oh, we're in trouble ♪

♪ Until you find the key ♪

♪ We're a thousand miles apart ♪

♪ We're gonna be so good ♪

♪ We're gonna be so good ♪

♪ We're gonna be so good ♪

♪ What can I do ♪

♪ What love meant to them ♪

♪ What's in your head In your head ♪

♪ Whatever I said Whatever I did ♪

♪ Whatever I said Whatever I did ♪

♪ When I go out... ♪

♪ Who would've cared at all ♪

♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh oh... ♪

♪ With logs on the fire ♪

♪ Won't you stay another day... ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah Uh oh ♪

♪ You could say this was ♪

♪ You got the notion ♪

♪ You got the notion ♪

♪ You got the notion ♪

♪ You know every single day ♪

♪ You know that I want you ♪

♪ You know that there've been others ♪

♪ You might say this is ♪

♪ You see tomorrow's dream has never been part of me ♪

♪ You're the best thing ♪

♪ You've go to search for the hero ♪

♪ Zombie ie ie ♪

♪ Zombie ie ie ie oh ♪

♪ Zombie, zombie ♪

♪ Zombie, zombie ♪