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All my people just explain taxes to me. Crazy.
And did you know my gynecologist autobiography was the top selling fiction and nonfiction book of 2010?
And I am so screwed.
Another one. Where are they all coming from?
Are we on fire?
Are you blind?
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
Are you listening to me?
Bankable actress/singer in Vinewood.
But because the thought of their lame lives was breaking me down spiritually.
But I'm hardly wearing any makeup.
Can you drive?
Can you get me out of here please?
Can you imagine what it's like being this famous?
Christ.
Come on, are you serious?
Come on, you're gonna give them a shot?
Damn it.
Did I tell you about my new underwear line?
Do you have any idea how much money I spent on losing my regional accent?
Do you know what they'll do to me in jail?
Do you want me to put your kids through college or something?
Don't touch me, you freak.
Don't turn into a stalker, too.
Get a move on. They're all over me.
Get in before they tear me apart.
Get off of me, you psycho.
Get rid of those snakes.
He sent me his actual junk.
Hello.
Here come more of them.
Hey, I don't need any manslaughter charges.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hi.
Hi.
Hold on a second.
Holy fuck.
How out of touch are you? I'm Lacey Jonas. I'm the voice of a generation.
How's it going?
Hurry. Do something. We need a vehicle.
I can't let those guys see me coming out of here. They'll be here any second.
I can't take it anymore.
I don't drive myself. I'm Lacey Jonas.
I don't need any manslaughter charges.
I don't need anymore lawsuits.
I don't think so.
I had this obsessed fan last year who kept sending me photos of his junk. Then when I didn't reply.
I had to cut all ties with my family, not because I didn't love them.
I know this was a mistake.
I mean, seriously, how insane is that?
I think the problem is sometimes they love me too much.
I think they're gone.
I thought we were going to get busted for sure.
I'm calling the cops.
I'm closing my eyes.
I'm in danger.
I'm Lacey Jonas.
I'm Lacey Jonas.
I'm Lacey Jonas. I'm the voice of a generation.
I'm like, serious. Those guys are crazy.
I'm really famous. I didn't do anything.
I'm so fucking fat.
I'm so hot right now.
I'm such a fat little piggy right now.
I'm the closest thing to royalty these people have.
I'm the voice of a generation.
If I wasn't an entertainment, I totally be a doctor or a lawyer.
If it's not the paparazzi, it's the fucking cops.
In a box all dried up, it looked like a spring roll.
In China I always travel with look alikes.
Is everyone in this town a fucking maniac?
Isn't that totally genius?
It sucks.
It's normal for adult males to find me very appealing.
It's so important to me to stay grounded and connect with real people, you know?
It's the burden I bear for being a role model changing lives.
Jesus.
Know your place.
Lacey Jonas.
Lacey.
Lame.
Let's not pretend this is something it's not.
Literally nobody tests higher than me on relatability.
My last mugshot was horrific.
My publicist told me if you put all my fans together, they'd fill the country of Africa.
No need to be a Dick about it.
No, like, seriously, I totally appreciate this.
No, please, I can't bear the sight of blood.
No, thank you.
No.
No.
No.
Nobody needs to get shot over this.
Oh God no. I can't get spotted by the cops.
Oh God, I know this was a mistake.
Oh my God, you're crazy.
Oh my God.
Oh shit, there's another one.
Oh yeah, typecast me like the rest of them. I've got range.
Oh, did I tell you about my new underwear line?
Oh, pretty please. I can't walk home. Most men would kill for this opportunity.
Oh, thank God. I think they're gone.
Ohh bite me.
Ohh fuck. Are we on fire?
Ohh God, you're that guy from the Internet, aren't you?
Ohh God.
Ohh please.
Ohh shit.
Ohh, this could kill my career.
OK.
One photo of me can sell for like 6 figures. I'm so hot right now.
Owa.
Please, you have to Get Me Out of here.
Poppy Mitchell.
See you.
Seriously.
Shit. Did you see them?
Shit. Shit, I can't get another criminal record.
So not cool.
Start with the pictures.
Stop shooting, you lunatic.
Stop that, you're scaring me.
Sure.
Take it easy.
Thanks again, but I think we should both get back to our own worlds now.
Thanks again.
That's bullshit.
That's bullshit. I test very well in your demographic.
That's it. I'm calling the cops.
The fuck?
The idolizing, the worship, it's so draining.
The media loved their little a Macy Jonas joke.
They won't leave me alone.
They'll be here any second.
They'll sue the hell out of me.
They're all over me.
They've got me trapped.
This is a disaster.
This is a nightmare.
This is way too real.
Those guys are after me.
Totally insane, right?
Totally.
Totally.
Ugh! Horrendous!
Watch it.
We need a vehicle.
What a day.
What are we going to do?
What I'd give to have a normal life for one day.
What the fuck?
Whatever.
Where are you going?
Wherever that is.
Who am I?
Who am I? Ohh hello. Take another look.
Whoa.
Why is everything upside down?
You absolute moron.
You are freaking me out.
You bastard.
You can tell I'm so girl next door, right?
You have no idea what they'll do to me.
You idiot.
You know what I mean?
You know who I am, right?
You shot me.
You should see what happens when I go to Asia. I mean talk about Icon.
You won't get away with this.
You would really not believe how difficult it is being a celebrity sometimes.
You'll be hearing from my lawyer.
You'll have to drive.
You're scaring me.
You're such a sweetie.
You're that guy from the Internet, aren't you?
You're the best.