A Series of Unfortunate Events - Season 3 Edit

A bank is a bit like a library, although we don't approve of people browsing.

A big hotel can work to our advantage.

A captain's hat does not make you a captain!

A captain's supposed to have all the answers,

A catalog? A hostage.

A certain dead count that you read about in the paper.

A certain man with a beard but no hair, a certain woman with hair but no beard.

A cocktail party!

A couple of cakesniffers trying to sneak away.

A failure.

A fire? Olaf, you're finally thinking big.

A fungus so powerful

A guest asked for something. I don't think I should give it to her.

A justice so blind

A little more. Little more.

A lot of people seem noble that aren't. I don't trust her, Klaus.

A man, a woman, a child.

A manager named Frank will try to help us,

A nice cycle for you, an unprofitable one for me.

A person viewing a television program does not have to choose

A person who observes their surroundings, like a spy.

A phrase which here means "very famous for being very loud."

A phrase which here means it disappears and reappears.

A pompous dogooder who is definitely not dead.

A schedule that currently meant Sunny Baudelaire had an hour to live.

A series of fires, and their own tragic mistakes.

A signal flare.

A tingly sensation in your throats?

A tropical island, and her.

A villainous disregard for the lives of other people.

A villainous laugh...

A violin solo about a naval disaster!

A witness calling a witness? That's highly unusual.

A word which here means you work for me.

About someone he loves very much.

About V.F.D., about your parents.

According to a book on criminal law, a witness may question another witness

According to a numerical classification system

According to my calculations, the bowl is under Anwhistle Aquatics, right here.

Actually, families take on all sorts of shapes, like

Actually, I am Frank.

Actually, it sounds like your heart's desire

After a great deal of time

After everything we've heard?

After I got your fortune, of course.

After the Baudelaires were accused of murder in the Village of Fowl Devotees,

After Thursday, Count Olaf will be behind bars.

After Thursday, Kit and I are leaving V.F.D. to raise our child.

After Thursday, Kit and I are leaving V.F.D. to raise our child.

After we save Sunny, we have to help those kids.

After you shot that manager, I went inside and found the manager.

Ah, but I've always been honest about my desires, orphans:

Ah, concierge, I need you to come with me to room 025, the laundry room.

Ah, the concierge!

Ah, the thrill of the chase!

Ah, then it's your fault.

Ah, there you are, concierge. I have an important job for you.

Ah, you must be J.S.!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Aha!

All I need is the Baudelaire fortune

All joy and mirth has been sucked from my life like those...

All of them are equally boring...

All of them are equally dry, a word which here means "boring."

All purpose flour,

All right! Get out of my way! I know the answer to the next question.

All right.

All rise for the High Court judges,

All three of us were with Frank or Ernest at three o'clock exactly.

All you care about is the sugar bowl,

All you have to say is yes.

Almost as much as jumping aboard other people's ships

Along with all the witnesses of Count Olaf's crimes,

Along with that other man who I didn't get a really good look at.

Also, the sugar bowl is definitely not down in the laundry room.

Although I can't give it to you until you give me his name.

Although I can't imagine you'd have any use for it.

Although she can't tell you that now because she's just taken a vow of silence.

Although they did spell my name right.

Am an insufferable know it all who likes to show off.

Among friends and associates,

An excellent question.

An extra special messenger is supposed to get an extra special tip.

An interesting question.

Ancient, mysterious things.

And a mail chute disguised as a laundry vent.

And a picnic in the back of a taxi.

And a series of arsons.

And a terrible crime that happened one night at the opera.

And a way out.

And a woman who values paperwork over people's lives.

And after we tried so hard to set a bad example.

And all because of

And all decent people have their day in court.

And all your troubles will be over at last.

And any books you have on the Medusoid Mycelium.

And anything else I feel like taking.

And are prepared to speak out on your behalf,

And are unable to agree what it looks like.

And as peppermints love your allergies.

And as requested,

And as the aquatic base of a secret organization.

And as the battlefield loves young men,

And as the passengers love the lifeboat,

And assorted violence than I would have preferred,

And Babs thinks that J.S. is a sea captain.

And bananas, and lemon sorbet because I'm lactose intolerant.

And Beatrice was talking about morality, or something.

And believe us.

And bring down a building.

And bring him to the lobby so justice can be served!

And Carmelita.

And Count Olaf knows that.

And crows.

And deep sea divers.

And destiny is a word which tends to cause arguments among the people who use it.

And don't get me started about the Quagmires.

And drop a gun on the floor,

And end V.F.D. and their stupid codes and poetry once and for all!

And every code and heart has been broken.

And feel that I had reached...

And forced into the sky through the process of evaporation.

And he's the reason I need your help.

And here it is, all collected at last.

And hit them with this rock.

And I am merely the person telling it.

And I am tired of a girlfriend who undermines my authority!

And I bet that's why Frank or Ernest had you hang that birdpaper.

And I decided to visit this beach

And I do not know if I will ever see my sister again.

And I go back to the real love of my life.

And I know that you tried to save him,

And I recommend you drop your streaming device into a pond.

And I say shiver me timbers!

And I told you that is confidential.

And I want to go to the pool!

And I will love you if have a child,

And I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.

And I wish I had time to answer them over a leisurely brunch,

And I won't let you go.

And I would tell him to stay at the Hotel Denouement

And I wouldn't try to escape.

And I, myself, wish that I were studying something dry like the water cycle

And I'd love to hear about a big surprise at a cocktail party.

And I'm breaking up with you.

And I'm sure she would.

And I'm sure the answers are in that black book of yours.

And I've known them for years,

And if everything goes according to plan, we'll have the sugar bowl.

And if that weren't bad enough, the orphans themselves have gone missing.

And if they agree,

And incomplete.

And instead, all you bring is a coughing baby!

And it can apply to people as well as to poisonous mushrooms.

And it can change you,

And it can trap you like a sticky piece of flypaper.

And it is my solemn duty to investigate the lives of the Baudelaire orphans...

And it's a good thing you fixed the telegraph machine,

And it's a rental.

And it's signed "J.S." Like the initials from the headquarters.

And it's signed with my brother's initials, "J.S."

And learn the identity of J.S. before Thursday.

And library paste.

And look at me now. I am a cook on an understaffed submarine!

And make a drag chute.

And Medusa is a monster from Greek mythology. Her hair is made of snakes.

And most important of all,

And my name is not Jacqueline, but I might be able to help you.

And my other secretary, whose name I never learned,

And my sources say he's arrived.

And nothing but the truth?

And now it's all gone up in flames.

And now she's an adorable tomboy!

And now we're headed to meet the rest of the volunteers at the Hotel Denouement,

And now, back to the tragedy you were watching.

And once I gathered it all up, I came to a shocking discovery.

And once you're good and sorry,

And one of the managers?

And please be careful.

And presiding over them all,

And pried the sugar bowl from your cold, dead fingers or toes.

And Quigley Quagmire tracked your location by studying tidal charts.

And regret all the things they said about me, which is totally different!

And saunas are often a place for spiritual contemplation,

And save all these people.

And search for our stepfather so we can be a family again.

And sharp as a double edged sword.

And since the schism, many volunteers have lost dear friends,

And so is the story of the Baudelaires,

And so we're ready to take off.

And spend the rest of your days hiding out in a series of anonymous,

And spooned the spicy, green mixture into Sunny's mouth,

And staring very hard at several drinking fountains,

And stealing their valuables.

And suffered a great deal,

And Sunny, I've heard wonderful things about your cooking.

And Sunny...

And that box of poison darts.

And that guy, Phil.

And that is when you see Count Olaf.

And that the Baudelaire orphans are in my clutches at last.

And that word described Violet Baudelaire

And The Daily Punctilio says that you're dangerous murderers.

And the other had a beard and no hair.

And the three phrases to open the V.F.D. lock.

And the uncharted waters ahead,

And the, uh,  Carmelita II up to the roof.

And then it would stick to the birdpaper, then the package would fall to the ground.

And then one day there was a fire.

And then that hatch opens so you can go out to explore.

And then was washed out to sea,

And then we have to rescue those Snow Scouts, defect from Count Olaf,

And then we have to warn V.F.D. about the Medusoid Mycelium.

And then you will suffer like I've always wanted you to suffer.

And they're alive.

And they're alive.

And they've always been very concerned whenever I've reported on your case.

And to give you these blindfolds. Blindfolds?

And to my son, who is here somewhere in the audience tonight.

And today, the world will finally see the truth!

And tomorrow, we can help put him behind bars for good.

And tumble to the earth...

And V.F.D. is a noble organization.

And various well meaning yet ineffectual authority figures

And villagers who only took you in to do their chores.

And Violet's dangerous dilemma in the rooftop sunbathing salon.

And volunteers and villains alike will perish in anguish!

And we could bring him to justice at last.

And we fell hopelessly in love.

And we thought it would be fun to press a bunch of buttons at the same time?

And what does Carmelita want with a harpoon gun?

And what project?

And when one of us is at a movie the other one doesn't want to see.

And when they vanish...

And when you needed to reach V.F.D. headquarters in the Mortmain Mountains,

And who told Sunny to lock the laundry room door?

And why Carmelita needs a harpoon gun. She's gonna shoot it down.

And will continue to happen.

And writing it all down in books.

And yet, they beat you every time!

And you can find anything in a library if you have one thing.

And you could come with us.

And you don't need to know.

And you get to watch your brother die.

And you know that it is mine.

And you know that it works on a very strict schedule,

And you served them overly peppered sausages?

And you stopped snoring.

And you will never have to encounter the suspicious parties staying there,

And you're not Frank. And you're not Ernest, either.

And your father always adjusted his glasses like that before a mission.

And, of course, I read all about the nefarious deeds of Captain Julio Sham.

And...

And... Beatrice?

Ants.

Anwhistle Aquatics burned down, and Gregor Anwhistle was killed.

Anwhistle Aquatics was a marine research and rhetorical advice center.

Anwhistle Aquatics, of course, burned down in a fire,

Anwhistle was our Aunt Josephine's last name.

Any more than I can stop that taxi from driving away.

Any unsolved mysteries gnawing away in those smarty pants brains?

Anyone taking off their blindfold

Anyway, we rounded up the Snow Scouts,

Are going to beat me senseless with a stake

Are placed in rooms according to where they would be shelved in a library.

Are useless against the real treacheries of the world.

Are we throwing darts? That's more exciting than opera!

Are you a pirate?

Are you all right?

Are you awake?

Are you eavesdropping on our guests?

Are you Esmé Squalor?

Are you Frank or Ernest?

Are you gonna help me find my friends?

Are you sure you can say that,

Are you working for Count Olaf?

Aren't trials typically held in a courthouse?

Aren't you supposed to be torturing orphans right now?

Aren't you, Countie?

Argh!

Argh!

Argh!

Around the Mediocre Barrier Reef, which would have carried it to here.

Around the Mediocre Barrier Reef, which would have carried it to here.

As an upstanding, book reading, still living citizen,

As chief of your Official Fire Department, I would like to take this intermission

As demonstrated by a wicked villain, his treacherous girlfriend,

As he helped hang a strip of birdpaper outside the fifth floor

As I was saying, we're taking a family vacation

As if they are simply characters in an opera.

As Klaus had predicted by studying the tidal charts,

As long as I stroked his ego.

As my Auntie Julia used to say.

As noble people do,

As she prepared to carry a harpoon gun to the rooftop sunbathing salon.

As she turned the laundry room entrance into a Vernacularly Fastened Door.

As the Baudelaires contemplated a future with Justice Strauss,

As the Baudelaires knew, the word "volatile" means "unstable"

As the sadness spreads over your life,

As the tedious cycle started all over again.

As the vice principal of Prufrock Prep,

As you know,

At a facility near Lousy Lane, but have not come up with a cure yet."

At last, the sugar bowl is mine!

At least I'm not going to be cooked alive in curry.

At least if any volunteers see it,

At the very place where their cycle of unfortunate events began.

Attach it to the oarlocks with the Devil's Tongue knot

Attention, everyone!

Aunt Josephine never mentioned it.

Aw!

Aww!

Aye aye, Captain.

Aye, come in.

Aye, we are.

Aye.

Aye.

Aye.

Aye. He told me you died in a manatee accident.

Aye. She who hesitates is lost.

Ayeaye, Captain.

Ayeaye, your Esméness!

Babs? How do you know my name?

Bah!

Ballerina fairy princess veterinarian recital!

Baudelaires in danger.

Baudelaires,

Baudelaires, help me overpower this villain

Baudelaires, I insist you come with me.

Baudelaires, I need your help.

Baudelaires, I see you found the clothes I left for you.

Baudelaires, is there a problem?

Baudelaires, is this true?

Baudelaires, please take a seat.

Baudelaires, please take your seats.

Baudelaires, when you are back in the brig,

Baudelaires, why haven't you changed? The trial is starting.

Baudelaires, you can't just go off on your own!

Baudelaires, you have traveled a great distance

Baudelaires, you just shot that man with a harpoon gun,

Baudelaires!

Baudelaires!

Baudelaires!

Baudelaires!

Baudelaires! Baudelaires!

Baudelaires?

Baudelaires? Baudelaires, is everything all right?

Baudelaires...

Baudelaires... Going somewhere?

Be careful about what you tell them

Be quiet or it'll sense us!

Beatrice stole it from me!

Beatrice will pay for this.

Beatrice!

Beatrice...

Because everything they thought they knew about their lives,

Because here is the real truth that no one is willing tell you...

Because I thought you Baudelaires always put your siblings first.

Because I, Jacques Snicket,

Because I'm a taxi driver who doesn't care about traffic safety laws,

Because if I do...

Because if the wrong brother finds out what we're up to...

Because it came from the darkest and toughest of birds!

Because it thought it was more adorable than me.

Because that is how I plead.

Because the Denouement brothers aren't twins.

Because the Denouement brothers aren't twins.

Because the Hotel Denouement is not organized like a hotel at all.

Because they do everything I tell them to do,

Because this story is finally over.

Because we're unusually short handed. This way, please.

Because when one is bored...

Because...

Because...

Before I drown a fairy princess.

Before I started cooking.

Before it fell into darkness.

Before we answer, there's one secret we want to know.

Being constantly unappreciated

Bellhop, take the luggage to the room

Besides a sandwich.

Besides, it should be "he or she who hesitates."

Besides, just think of this as family time.

Besides, that guy disappeared ages ago.

Between seeing Sunny's mysterious meeting on the third floor...

Bird watching in!

Bird watching is "in."

Boss... you know, most submarines have more than one crew member.

Both so thoughtful.

Boxes of gum!

Bring in Count Olaf!

Bring them right to my mouth.

Burn down Caligari Carnival, but

But after Thursday, he'll be behind bars,

But anyone who works here would have to know the library catalog by heart.

But Count Olaf is disguised as Jacques Snicket.

But Countie,

But darling!

But despite all my research,

But do you expect me to believe that he would leave his sub with no captain?

But ever since the schism, there have been more fires

But everywhere I went, you were already gone.

But first we have to escape from this brig.

But first, I want a sandwich.

But he didn't listen.

But he got a lead on a certain self sustaining hot air mobile home

But his brother, Ernest, will try to stop us.

But how?

But I advise you to find some safe, dry piece of entertainment,

But I can still give you a home.

But I could.

But I do.

But I have you now,

But I need to practice.

But I never understood until now

But I think that suffering is like a family dinner. It should be shared.

But I thought maybe that was too confusing to explain.

But I wasn't born yesterday.

But I'll be back tonight.

But I'm adorable!

But I'm afraid someone is impersonating him to gather all of V.F.D. in one place.

But I'm also the vice president of the Esmé Squalor Fan Club!

But I've known them for years!

But if I could gather V.F.D.,

But if it was Ernest, then it's not

But if it were, I would tell you about a man, a woman,

But if not,

But if you share your observations,

But in light of recent evidence, I don't have a choice.

But it also describes the story of the Baudelaires

But it can also describe any place that is unknown.

But it can also mean a person who is prone to fits of melodrama.

But it is a dangerous element,

But it is your fault if you do nothing.

But it's much easier to get people to come to a fivestar hotel.

But it's never been enough to convince anyone before,

But Jerome Squalor said J.S. is a woman who wants to help us.

But my favorite books are over here.

But my secretary, Jacqueline Scieszka, moved to Winnipeg,

But not always.

But not giving it to her would be suspicious.

But now I can skip the middleman and simply torture you.

But now that cycle has finally been broken.

But now you're all grown up,

But on the bright side,

But one of our agents got to it first.

But our agents are already on their way to the Last Safe Place,

But our enemies are watching the skies

But people aren't either wicked or noble.

But really, I'm trying to shake the car that's been following us.

But rest easy, Baudelaires.

But someday I may change that opinion.

But someone let them get away.

But that's why you need to come with me

But the driver said the guest won't get here until Thursday.

But the grotto beneath the lab remains

But the High Court ruled the evidence must be seen to be believed.

But the last person I trusted tied me up,

But the most important testimony is yours.

But the tables are about to turn, and so is this car, so hang on.

But there are two other judges on the High Court,

But there is no room 135.

But there is one occasion when it is always appropriate,

But there's so much he never told me about V.F.D.

But they each think that J.S. is a different person.

But they wouldn't listen! Nobody would listen!

But this hotel is poorly organized,

But this hotel is positively packed with familiar faces.

But this is not that story.

But unfortunately, things are much worse than they seem.

But we also have potatoes,

But we didn't think to use it until you told us.

But we don't know why it's important or which brother put the lock

But we just put them on. Don't be silly, Klaus.

But we must be careful.

But we'll discuss that later.

But we're not the ones on trial.

But we're squishing together different parts of animals

But what choice did I have?

But what side of the schism?

But wouldn't you rather see this story over, once and for all?

But you can't be in three places at once. You'll have to split up, Baudelaires.

But you smashed its equipment. If you disengage, it's going to sink.

But you'd better hurry before Count Olaf notices.

But you'll take us to V.F.D.?

But you're finally safe,

But you're in my clutches at last.

But you're not children anymore.

But you're up here too, Baudelaires.

But your testimony was so compelling, I hate to waste another second.

But... don't be ridiculous.

By a man whose pant leg doesn't even cover his ankle.

By a variety of mysterious and powerful forces,

By the pond, with the harpoon gun!

By the process of precipitation,

Cackle, cackle, cakesniffer!

Call me Snicket

Called the Medusoid Mycelium!

Can I trust you, concierge?

Can I trust you, concierge?

Can I trust you, concierge?

Can see glimpses of the organization's glorious history...

Can you help us save Sunny?

Can you tell me? Interesting question.

Can't you give me a hint? No!

Captain Widdershins left

Carmelita is the most talented dancer in the universe!

Carmelita, please.

Carmelita, stop them now!

Carmelita. The Medusoid Mycelium.

Carmelita's been exploring her tomboy side. Isn't she adorable?

Carnival guests,

Chapter 40, "The Gorgonian Grotto."

Children became orphans,

Chowder with gum?

Chronicling the unhappy lives of several children. No!

Classic Phil.

Classmates and co workers,

Cod and potato chowder.

Cod.

Come back to the hotel with me. Join V.F.D. again. Join us.

Come on

Come on, darling.

Come on, we'll show you what we found.

Come on! Come on!

Come on. If we hesitate, we're lost.

Come to papa!

Come to papa!

Come with me, and we'll explain everything to the authorities.

Come with me. You'll be safe. I promise.

Come with us. We can go to the Last Safe Place together.

Come, come.

Comes from the society of pirates who enjoy using interesting expressions

Concerning the history of the Baudelaire orphans,

Concierge.

Cookie's my second in command. Ain't that right, Cookie?

Could I get a ride?

Could ripple and tremble,

Could we send a Volunteer Factual Dispatch?

Count Olaf could discover we're missing. She who hesitates

Count Olaf fooled me once, and I will never forgive myself,

Count Olaf has fooled people before.

Count Olaf is expecting the sugar bowl. Should Quigley throw it down?

Count Olaf is here!

Count Olaf performs terrible schemes, and you help him!

Count Olaf took me in when no one else would have me.

Count Olaf, is there anything further you'd like to say to the Court?

Count Olaf.

Count Olaf.

Count Olaf's trial will begin tomorrow morning.

Countie, Hooky's hooks are making me feel uncomfortable.

Cream, ground black pepper,

Criminal Law.

Critic? Bah!

Crow is tough to eat.

Curses!

Dangerous.

Dark Avenue!

Darling, I'm stuck.

Darling, justice is out. Injustice is in.

Darling, you look adorable!

Darling...

Dewey Denouement?

Dewey was a good person, and he's dead because of us.

Dewey was right. The lock is a decoy.

Dewey! Dewey!

Did Frank or Ernest give me the birdpaper?

Did not return to the Hotel Denouement, as promised.

Did they accept their punishment?

Did you find something?

Did you procure the items I requested?

Did you see it through the porthole? It was enormous.

Different cultures call it by different names, but...

Dilution is another word for antidote. But horses don't have roots.

Disengage from the Queequeg.

Disengage from the Queequeg.

Disturbing the delicate balance between social order and thirsty aspiration,

Do not trust him, no matter what he says

Do you expect me to talk?

Do you get to pick whose face, or you just peel it off whoever's around?

Do you know how dangerous that fungus is?

Do you know what a flaneur is?

Do you know what pirates do to traitors?

Do you know why? We think so.

Do you really mean it?

Do you still have a valid taxi driver's license?

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,

Do you think Count Olaf is the one posing as J.S.?

Do you think I believe that story?

Do you think that was Frank?

Do you think we can trust Kit?

Do you think we'll find Quigley?

Doctors, nurses,

Does it have to do with the spyglass?

Does it say anything about a cure?

Doesn't she look adorable?

Don't be ridiculous! We just came from there.

Don't be so desperate for approval.

Don't fire till you see the white of the sugar bowl.

Don't hurt Fiona.

Don't hurt him! My brother would never betray you!

Don't question me.

Don't think this means I'm on your side, orphans.

Don't touch them, darling! They're filthy!

Don't wave that around, child. It's dangerous.

Don't worry.

Don't you have any burning questions?

Don't you want to know what happened next?

Don't you want to raise your children in a safer world?

Drink some water, everyone.

Driven into a hedge, and recruited us to spy for a secret organization.

During a performance of La Forza del Destino.

E is for Ernest, who is evil.

Eight!

Enough!

Enough.

Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor.

Esmé Squalor and Carmelita Spats.

Esmé Squalor was searching for it at the Heimlich Hospital.

Esmé Squalor?

Esmé, Carmelita, the hotel is on fire. You have to get out!

Esmé, I finally found something to laugh about.

Esmé? I was talking about that awful little girl!

Esmé...

Especially if it is raining or if my desk is floating in a reservoir.

Especially if there are mushrooms on the menu.

Evaporation, precipitation, and collection.

Evaporation, precipitation, and collection.

Evaporation, precipitation, and collection.

Even a single spore is deadly! Horseradish is the only cure!

Even if you open it, you'll find nothing in the laundry room except laundry.

Even your new friends only care about themselves.

Ever since the schism, it's more important than ever

Every noble person has failed us. Why should we protect the sugar bowl?

Every time we fail to get your fortune, Count Olaf yells at me.

Everybody knows that the vice principal is more important!

Everyone is welcome to the after party, hosted by me.

Everyone remain calm!

Everyone wears blindfolds to enter a High Court trial.

Everyone, Esmé Squalor poisoned you with a deadly fungus

Everyone, put your blindfolds back on.

Everyone, take off your blindfolds! Count Olaf has kidnapped Justice Strauss!

Everyone, watch me shoot a hoop!

Everything he said sounded like a code. You must be our new concierges.

Everything.

Everywhere we went,

Evidence of a picnic, like evidence of a secret meeting,

Ew! I prefer gemstones.

Exactly.

Exactly. Sometimes what seems mysterious is really part of a larger plan.

Examining oceans, investigating rainstorms,

Excellent! Follow me.

Excellent! I'm wearing a blindfold, too,

Except each other.

Excuse me, concierges.

Excuse me, concierges.

Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me, Your Honor. I caught Count Olaf lurking in the hedges.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. I have a telegram from J.S.,

Extremely "out"!

Extremely damp tale.

Fabulously rich. Insanely attractive.

Faculty members...

Fake your death in an unreliable newspaper,

Families.

Fancy seeing you here.

Fashionistas,

Father said when you do that, you never know where you'll end up.

Fell into a stream when you were separated from your friends,

Fernald!

Fernald. Furnail.

Finally we agree on something.

Find the manager and tell him to bring a nice bottle of wine to our room.

Finding someone here is as easy as finding a book in a library

Fine with me. I only need one of you alive to get your fortune.

Fine.

Fiona did a great job with the repairs. We'll be out of here in no time.

Fiona Widdershins sent a Volunteer Factual Dispatch

Fiona Widdershins. I'm the captain of this sub.

Fiona will know what to do. She has books on fungi in her library.

Fiona, please don't do this. Please don't do it.

Fiona!

Fiona!

Fire! Fire!

Fire! Fire? Oh, no! No, no, no!

Follow me, orphans. The Snow Scouts.

Follow me. I'm such a genius, I'll find the exit blindfolded

For a noble reason. What choice do we have?

For I was there.

For like the respiratory system of poor, poor Sunny Baudelaire...

For my third number, I'm going to twirl around while you clap as hard as you can!

For the same reason, the Baudelaire orphans

For too long, you have spoiled my plans.

For what? We don't have time to wait.

For years, contacting my own siblings brought them nothing but trouble,

For years, people have called me a villain and a criminal.

Forever.

Found it awful to contemplate their own lives as their submarine landed

Four children.

Fourth floor, food supply. Make it snappy.

Frank or Ernest? Exactly.

Frank, would you please escort this villain off the premises?

Frankly, I find that difficult to swallow.

Free acting lessons, and what's "in" and what is "out"!

Friends became enemies,

Friends don't steal sugar bowls.

From all the hilarious things bouncing around in my brain!

From hospitals to carnivals, to end up here...

From that night at the opera.

From the darkest depths of the sea...

From there, it's a series of confusing twists and turns

Full steam ahead!

Funny you should mention that.

Funny, I was hoping you'd stay. I'll be back tonight

Gasp for air and wail with anguish!

Get down. Get down!

Get in there, Baudelaires!

Get over it.

Get to the brig, you biscuiteaters!

Get up close and personal to their pain.

Giuseppe Verdi is real. He's an Italian composer.

Give me one reason not to.

Give us the codes to the lock, or this little girl will harpoon you.

Giving a harpoon gun to Carmelita Spats would be wrong.

Go ahead

Go on, Baudelaires. Tell us your story.

Going down?

Going somewhere?

Good God, that man's been shot!

Good luck, Baudelaires. I'll see you tonight.

Good news is the Carmelita is gone.

Good work, everyone.

Good work, you two.

Goodbye, Mr. Poe.

Gorgonzola cheese. And what's that?

Great news, although you don't sound happy about it.

Great. This was dry clean only.

Gum! There's nothing in this cupboard but boxes of gum!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha hee ho.

Ha ha hi ho.

Ha ha hi ho.

Ha ha hostages!

Ha ha, hoi polloi!

Ha ha!

Ha ya, pickle ho.

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha...

Hahaha, half wit!

Hahaha, harpy!

Hand them over, Ernest.

Hand them over, Ernest.

Hang on, Sunny. We're gonna get help.

Have done more to help my schemes than any of my associates.

Have you considered being a doctor?

Have you read anything about trials? Not much.

Have you seen Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire?

Haven't you heard the expression, "justice is blind?"

He also saved your sister.

He and his triangle eyed sister are locked in the brig.

He committed arson and joined the wrong side of the schism.

He didn't betray you, and I can prove it.

He didn't free the Baudelaires so they could escape.

He died.

He doesn't know who the real J.S. is either.

He drove my brother crazy.

He found me when he was searching the sub, but we didn't have time to talk.

He got a telegram from J.S. too, but he couldn't be here.

He has a wonderful laugh.

He hit Klaus across the face! He tried to marry Violet!

He infiltrated my school and didn't attend a single one of my violin recitals!

He is not a fool. He is a noble man.

He just said there were secrets too terrible for young people to know.

He kidnapped the Quagmire triplets from Prufrock Prep.

He left one day to answer a distress call from a manatee and never came back.

He left to find his family.

He let them go so he could give you this.

He murdered Jacques Snicket in the Village of Fowl Devotees.

He never told me why you did it.

He poisoned Uncle Monty!

He said that some secrets are too terrible for young people to know.

He says the strangest things.

He should get that looked at.

He thought you would understand.

He threw a brave and noble librarian to the lions.

He threw Aunt Josephine to the leeches!

He told us our parents had perished in a terrible fire.

He told us...

He tried to cut off Violet's head at the Heimlich Hospital.

He used the word volunteer. Maybe it was a code.

He used to say that to me, too. He was a fool.

He wanted to be,

He was my brother.

He was playing with fire.

He... He threw...

He'll meet you in the lobby, unless it was intercepted by Ernest.

He's a myth, like unicorns or Giuseppe Verdi.

He's a terrible villain!

He's a very bad man who owes me a lot of candy.

He's a wicked person, and you help him time and time again.

He's about to go to jail. Why does he look calm?

He's busy at his lumber mill.

He's dead because of Count Olaf,

He's driving his taxi tonight.

He's gone now.

He's gone.

He's helped Count Olaf perform countless treacherous deeds!

He's in charge of meals, though his cooking's a little heavy

He's lying. We'll take the stairs to the laundry room and grab it ourselves!

He's not listening.

He's one of my favorite authors.

He's out there. He'll find me. I know he will.

He's over there!

He's so embarrassing.

He's sorry he let you down too.

He's wicked! He burned down Anwhistle Aquatics!

He's with us. You can trust him.

He's your brother?

Hee hee hee antagonism!

Hee hee hi ho.

Hee hee ho ho.

Hee hee!

Heehee, hot pot!

Hello, Esmé. Have we met? You sound familiar.

Hello, I'm Larry Your Waiter. I hope you're hungry for Indian food.

Hello, I'm looking to steal a submarine.

Hello, Kit.

Hello, sailors. Looking sharp.

Hello? Hello?

Help you?

Her husband, Ike, ran it with his brother, Gregor.

Her submarine?

Her teeth came in real handy dicing potatoes and deboning the fish.

Her? Is that a fact?

Here we are. Where's the library?

Here, Esmé.

Here.

Here's your submarine sandwich.

Herman Melville.

Hey, boss.

Hey, concierge, I want an ice cream cone with hot pink sprinkles,

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, what's going on?

His initials start with J.S

His name is Fernald. And I call him Hooky.

Hiya, Baudelaires! Phil! You're alive!

Hm.

Hm.

Hm.

Hmm?

Hmm...

Hmm...

Ho, ho, ho, ho.

Hold on.

Hooky told me to give you this note.

Hooky, get us out of here.

Hooky, we need to talk.

Horseradish.

Horticulture!

Hotel restaurants!

How about we all just focus on finding it,

How are we supposed to get out of here? We're locked in the brig.

How can I help?

How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?

How can we find our seats? We can't see them.

How can we tell them apart?

How could he give you a note?

How did you escape the brig? I locked you in there with

How did you escape? Did you find the sugar bowl?

How did you find the Mycelium?

How did you find us? With a little help from your friends.

How do we know he's not gonna fool the High Court?

How do you plead, Baudelaires?

How heartbroken I would feel

How marvelously poisonous!

How simply dreadful! We lost everything.

How soon before J.S. arrives?

How tedious. Compliment taken.

How the mighty have sunk... sunk to the bottom of the sea.

How was I?

How would you like to join your brother on my crew?

However, I have learned the answer to the famous unfathomable question

Hurry!

I also want sugar on top. No.

I always carry a spare.

I always thought tea should be bitter as wormwood

I always will.

I am a woman.

I am happier than a pig eating pork.

I am not the secretary,

I am so excited to get my hands on that sugar bowl,

I am so happy go lucky

I am tickled pinker than a sunburned Caucasian.

I am tired of pretending to be a family,

I am your captain, and I order you to stop these prisoners at once!

I am. You're just in time.

I attended Prufrock Preparatory School. Give my regards to the principal.

I beg of you,

I beg your pardon?

I believe them! They've experienced villainy before!

I bet she was really nice when you got to know her.

I bet your self righteous volunteers never told you what's in the sugar bowl,

I call Esmé Squalor to the stand.

I call it, The Complete History of Injustice

I call our first witnesses.

I can feel my belly roil!

I can find a place near the Hotel Denouement.

I can hit a blackbird flying in the dead of night.

I can keep you safe.

I can keep you safe.

I can make you one, boss.

I can only help if you get in this taxi right now.

I can only hope that they're alive and safe...

I can see you're still an optimist.

I can take it to rescue them. Kit...

I can tell you Carmelita was always an adorable girl,

I can tell you things that you'll never learn on your own.

I can test the fungus on the other two.

I can vouch for that!

I can't abandon my brother.

I can't believe you're alive. The Daily Punctilio ran your obituary.

I can't find my ribbon

I can't help anyone, Kit. You were there that night at the opera.

I can't just change course in the middle of a mission! Sorry.

I can't see!

I can't sleep. Me neither.

I can't wait to see Count Olaf pay for his crimes.

I cannot change the past...

I cannot find them. I cannot help them.

I care about you children deeply.

I certainly have.

I combed through thousands of documents

I could chew off someone's arm!

I could do without the sea captain pursuing obsessive, bloody,

I could use a dedicated researcher.

I couldn't forgive myself for letting you down,

I did a terrible thing for a noble reason, and I paid for it.

I didn't do it alone.

I didn't find anyone, boss.

I didn't find the Mycelium.

I didn't summon you for your opinion.

I do hope you're coming to my cocktail party.

I do my work in the shadows.

I do, too.

I don't believe it.

I don't blame you for having doubts, Baudelaires.

I don't care.

I don't do autographs.

I don't have time for tricks!

I don't have to be quiet. I'm too adorable!

I don't know what came over me.

I don't know what I'd do without you, Hooky.

I don't know where you've been, how you got here,

I don't know who writes that hogwash!

I don't know, but it can't be good that he's here.

I don't know.

I don't like it any more than you do,

I don't like to argue. Let's compromise and just stand here.

I don't like to say anything bad about anyone's cooking, even mine, so I won't.

I don't mean to eavesdrop, but I'm a member of the Esmé Squalor Fan Club,

I don't take orders unless I know the facts.

I don't wanna stay at some cakesniffing hotel! I want to go to Littlest Elf Land!

I don't want to go to the room.

I don't want to put a blindfold on.

I don't work for you, Mr. Poe. I'm just here to use your telegraph.

I don't! They're nothing but trouble!

I double checked them, and Fiona triple checked them.

I even gave it my own title.

I expect you to boil.

I failed you again, Baudelaires.

I fear I'm overdressed.

I feel like I'm arriving in the middle of someone else's story.

I feel like taking my anger out on Hooky.

I figured you were either sick or giving birth.

I find it useful to get away quickly in a taxi.

I forgot your milk.

I forgot your milk.

I forgot. Sunny didn't.

I found the closest beach.

I found the spice rack, but there's no horseradish.

I found the tool to sharpen my hooks.

I found these clues to the code on that waiter that I boiled,

I gathered everything I found in the Baudelaire case,

I get to see a brig?

I guess he couldn't stay.

I guess that's harder to fit on a plaque.

I had my doubts about Count Olaf from the moment I placed you in his care,

I had planned to call other witnesses,

I had some help from a very strange book.

I have all the evidence of your treachery right here!

I have an inside man who's made all the arrangements.

I have been unable to determine their whereabouts.

I have compiled a comprehensive file on the Baudelaire case.

I have missed a lot. Four?

I have never told a lie in my life. That's a lie!

I have no idea what you're saying.

I have no idea who this girl is or where she came from, I swear.

I have not used it since one rainy night

I have to retrieve the sugar bowl,

I have to tell them the truth. I threw the dart, not you.

I have to tell you, children sorry

I have yet to learn the final resting place of the sugar bowl,

I have yet to learn why my sister

I haven't been captain for long.

I hear something now.

I hear this hotel has a spa,

I heard it swallows you alive! I heard that it's a metaphor for death.

I heard there was some trouble with a harpoon gun

I heard there was trouble, so I found these friendly police officers.

I hid that diving helmet where it could never be found.

I hope Quigley will be all right.

I hope so. They're certainly in for a big surprise.

I hope they cut off Count Olaf's head!

I hope we have enough sugar.

I hope we'll be all right once they discover we don't have the bowl.

I hope you can forgive me, Baudelaires, and trust me.

I hope you haven't been waiting long.

I hope you know what you're doing, Baudelaires.

I hope you've been picking up my mail.

I imagine myself as a drop of water,

I just love the opera!

I just want to pull off something big so they'll be super impressed

I know exactly where you've been, Klaus Baudelaire.

I know he is. Quigley's very resourceful.

I know how to make a cat stay.

I know it seems like running from the law is the answer, but it won't help.

I know that my brother is dead.

I know that you're upset about, you know, what went down on the mountains.

I know what she means

I know you have thousands of questions,

I know you're worried about Quigley, but I'm sure he's safe.

I know, and I still don't feel better.

I know! We could make a cod and gum casserole.

I know.

I know. And the sugar bowl fell into Stricken Stream,

I like her. Me too.

I like his use of symbolism,

I like the way he dramatizes the plight of overlooked groups,

I lost my hands in the fire, and I got kicked out of V.F.D.

I love soft pretzels!

I love the way he dramatizes the plight of overlooked groups,

I love you, Beatrice.

I love you, Olaf.

I may be able to find them again.

I may forget a name, but I never remember a face.

I may have a handsome and youthful glow,

I mean, borrow a submarine.

I mean, look at you, Baudelaires.

I mean, obviously you can't be her.

I mean, rent your finest discount submarine.

I mean, why not just call a cab? And where are your parents?

I mean, why would a toddler be working at a hotel and as a concierge?

I meant to pay him, but I got so busy making money.

I miss the rest of the troupe.

I must need new glasses because I'm seeing double.

I need a drink.

I need a special outfit to rehearse for my special tap dancing

I need to do something big and dramatic to get back at those V.F.D. goody goodies.

I need to show them.

I need you to help me hang this from the window of room 598,

I need you to infiltrate the Hotel Denouement as concierge

I need you to put this special lock on the door.

I never needed them anyway.

I never should have given the fungus to Count Olaf.

I never want to be apart from you again, except in the restroom, at work,

I object! Their proper occupation is orphan,

I only need one orphan alive to get their fortune.

I order you to bring my girlfriend a sugar bowl,

I prefer little girls to be quiet,

I promise to keep that file safe, or my name isn't Jacques Snicket,

I promise.

I promise.

I raided the pantry at Lucky Smells before I left.

I rang two minutes ago, and it's an emergency.

I rang two minutes ago, which is exactly the amount of time it takes

I read about it in a Volunteer Factual Dispatch.

I read about Jacques in the paper. That's why I came back.

I realized finding you wouldn't be enough,

I received this telegram instructing all volunteers

I recently encountered on a mountain. We were there too.

I recognize them from my village,

I recognize them from the newspaper!

I remember a time when Anwhistle Aquatics

I remember the smell. It was terrible, like black pepper.

I remind you that I've been made captain of this boat, not you.

I repaired the damage myself, but we're not going anywhere.

I said "count" because I made a little Countie face.

I said "procure," when a perfectly normal word would do,

I said, good God, that man's been shot!

I saved your life on that mountain, baby, and the boss has made me suffer for it.

I saw a laundry vent under the window.

I saw it while I was bird watching!

I saw it while I was ironing my cummerbund!

I saw that crow get shot and the sugar bowl fall into the vent.

I saw that you were watching the sky with a spyglass.

I saw you with He's a good man.

I sealed the helmet with a dinner plate and some chewing gum

I searched the hotel for you orphans,

I see a banker who cares more about a promotion than three orphans.

I see a man who was too afraid to protect you,

I see a vice principal who was more than happy to let me into his school,

I see rich people who only cared about you because you were "in,"

I see volunteers whose complicated codes and pretentious literary references

I see what you mean. Two brothers can be in two places at the same time.

I see you're still a biter.

I see you've kept up your legal studies,

I see your new friends have been keeping you in the dark.

I see your parents never told you about that night at the opera,

I seem to have forgotten your name. I never gave it to you.

I sent all my research to a bank for safekeeping.

I should like to dedicate these words to my wife,

I should warn you, if you come with me, your lives may become more difficult.

I shouldn't have let that man who said he was a doctor

I submit to the Court...

I summoned you to give that adorable little girl in the yacht

I sure love children. I love 'em so darn much.

I suspect it belongs to a pair of sinister villains

I swear I've seen that waiter somewhere before.

I think about how ghastly it would feel

I think he looks noble.

I think I'll stick with Hooky.

I think strangling your sister might teach you a lesson.

I think the stairs are this way! I think the stairs are that way!

I think they were trying to keep us safe.

I think we can trust Fiona.

I think we should keep workshopping that name.

I think you mean Ernest.

I think you'll find

I think you're gonna love this one, darling.

I thought Count Olaf was dead.

I thought he was a sea captain.

I thought I'd never see you again.

I thought she who hesitated was lost.

I thought so too.

I thought that was a myth, like gravity or inner beauty.

I thought this was a hotel.

I thought this was destroyed in the Anwhistle fire.

I thought we were gonna get a sugar bowl and have a tea party,

I thought you were dead.

I thought you'd drowned in Stricken Stream.

I thought you'd never ask.

I titled it myself.

I told him I never wanted to see his face again, but I'm sorry I left you alone.

I triumphed the moment you lost your family.

I understand.

I want a harpoon gun.

I want to see the look on their faces while you make them suffer.

I want to, but there's something about her that rubs me the wrong way.

I want you to think about what you've done,

I wanted a salad with pizzas inside.

I warned him it was volatile.

I was a good guardian after all!

I was an apprentice at Anwhistle Aquatics

I was expecting this brig to be full of suffering Baudelaires,

I was expecting to torture an old enemy

I was headed to the galley to the wine room, to sharpen my hooks...

I was heartbroken because I'd planned to slaughter you myself,

I was heartbroken.

I was hoping I'd see you before I left.

I was just thinking how nice it would be to have some powerful, convenient way

I was so busy planning revenge I forgot to take time for my hobbies.

I was sure I could find a better job than "unpaid mill worker."

I wasn't sleeping! What did I miss? Oh, good, they stopped singing.

I went looking for you.

I will get my revenge on everyone,

I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship,

I will love you as we grow older, which just happened and happened again,

I will love you if I never see you again,

I will love you if you marry someone else,

I will love you until every fire has been extinguished and every home rebuilt,

I will never teach you to spit as long as I can breathe!

I will tear you hook from hook.

I wish I could have helped you all along,

I wish this hotel was a library.

I wish you were here.

I won't let you trade your life for mine. Your life is worth more.

I would love an aqueous Martini.

I would recognize you anywhere. What are you doing here?

I would tell him that a light gray suit looks good, but...

I would tell him that he is about to receive sad news

I wouldn't blame you for wanting to leave this beach with that banker.

I wouldn't say "genius."

I, uh...

I...

I'd appreciate that. I have no idea what I'm doing!

I'd completely forgotten your name. And your face.

I'd love to hear more about your topsecret business

I'd no sooner look at or speak to the help than I would wear modest clothing.

I'll be able to steal the Baudelaire fortune

I'll chart a course to the Hotel Denouement.

I'll get that Martini.

I'll get the boat off the roof. Violet, no!

I'll give you a hint about the secret ingredient in my party's hors d'oeuvres

I'll give you a moment to be impressed.

I'll give you the location of the Last Safe Place.

I'll give you this rock.

I'll give you until the count of ten.

I'll go see if the coast is clear.

I'll have Hooky torture these orphans. You stay here and...

I'll join you.

I'll just have a glass of milk.

I'll just pour those flammable chemicals onto those sheets.

I'll just push the Carmelita II off the roof and sail away.

I'll make it up to you, boss. Who do you want me to kill?

I'll never forget the sight of it, like the sea was burning.

I'll never get that clipboard back.

I'll never laugh again.

I'll never laugh again.

I'll repair the damage to the sub.

I'll save the Medusoid Mycelium for a rainy day.

I'll see you tonight.

I'll show you a sea monster!

I'll stand here and supervise.

I'll start charting a course.

I'll tell Hooky to get us out of here.

I'll unleash the Medusoid Mycelium and destroy every soul in this hotel!

I'll wait in the hall.

I'll... I'll disengage right away.

I'm a ballplaying cowboy superhero soldier pirate!

I'm a rower and a swabber!

I'm a tap dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!

I'm afraid I can't discuss that. Banker client confidentiality.

I'm afraid the man next to you is one of my associates.

I'm already on a mission.

I'm also having a party.

I'm an adorable, beautiful, cute, dainty, eye pleasing, flawless girl,

I'm an orphan. My friends are orphans too.

I'm busy. I have to throw the Baudelaires into the brig.

I'm distraught and I'm pregnant.

I'm glad she's okay. We couldn't have done it without you.

I'm glad Sunny is safe.

I'm glad you got out of that terrible lumber mill.

I'm going to consult with my fellow judges,

I'm going to find it for you, I promise.

I'm going to open this helmet and toss it inside,

I'm going to the laundry room.

I'm happy for you.

I'm happy you're here, even though one of you is unusually short

I'm here in the name of justice, which is something you'll never understand.

I'm holding in my hands.

I'm hooked, although I know they're terribly out of style.

I'm innocent. Very well.

I'm just a typical family man on vacation with my lovely wife

I'm letting you escape.

I'm looking for the Baudelaires. I'm Quigley Quagmire.

I'm looking for the room where we keep the wine.

I'm new dramatic critic for The Daily Punctilio.

I'm not abandoning my brother!

I'm not desperate for approval.

I'm not Frank either.

I'm not gonna sugarcoat this, orphans. I'm here to torture you.

I'm not hesitating. I'm deciding.

I'm not shooting any harpoons until Countie teaches me to spit!

I'm not surprised she never wanted to talk about it.

I'm not surprised.

I'm not surprised. He was one of your parents' favorites.

I'm off to torture orphans now.

I'm old enough.

I'm putting the sub into turbo drive.

I'm rich and beautiful.

I'm searching for the sugar bowl.

I'm second to nobody.

I'm seriously considering compiling a joke book

I'm so anxious. How long do we have to keep this act up?

I'm so incredibly innocent

I'm so sorry, Carmelita

I'm sorry I'm so jumpy,

I'm sorry it has to end like this.

I'm sorry, Baudelaires, but...

I'm sorry, but I simply don't have the time to look for orphans

I'm sorry, children. I would like to wait for her, too,

I'm sorry, do we know you?

I'm sorry, I can't understand you. Help, please.

I'm sorry, melancholy is a side effect of my condition.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm splitting my sides! I'm nauseous with mirth!

I'm supposed to meet my boyfriend in the sauna,

I'm sure my calculations were correct.

I'm sure they can hear you, dear. You're very, very loud.

I'm sure we'll find him... wherever he is.

I'm taking all three of you Baudelaires to the brig!

I'm the captain!

I'm the captain.

I'm too adorable to be swallowed!

I'm under so much pressure.

I'm your last chance to learn what really happened.

I'm your number one fan.

I'm...

I've been following you for so long, and you've always been out of my grasp,

I've decided to set sail for the Gorgonian Grotto right away. Captain's orders.

I've got you, sir.

I've investigated everything they've been through,

I've learned so much! When you get up here, I'll tell you everything.

I've missed so much.

I've read every story about you in The Daily Punctilio.

I've sent a message to Frank.

I've traveled everywhere they've been,

Ideally something that doesn't require any work.

If a crow was shot at a certain angle,

If a fungus is a vegetable.

If Count Olaf turns up, it won't be easy for him to find us.

If Frank gave her the lock, then the package is safe.

If he shoots us, he'll never get the Baudelaire fortune.

If I can trust you.

If I can trust you.

If I can't get what I want, then nobody will.

If I could go back in time,

If I do say so myself.

If I handed an incomplete file. After all, you requested everything.

If I hit a crow, you promised to teach me how to spit

If I may gush like an open wound, I'm not just a vice principal,

If I wanted, I could drown you in the sea,

If it wasn't for her, you'd be rich and we'd be dead.

If only some powerful, convenient way to destroy a whole bunch of people

If only someone could have protected them.

If only someone could have protected them.

If only you children had told me what you were going through.

If that's okay with the captain.

If that's where the sugar bowl is... If that's where we're headed...

If the Baudelaires could laugh again,

If the fungus got out, it could destroy everyone.

If they intercept the delivery, we will all be eating crow.

If they were noble volunteers, they would have arrived early.

If they're acting in loco advocatus.

If we didn't do something, Olaf would have poisoned everyone.

If we don't get her back to the Queequeg, she'll die.

If we don't go now, we won't be alive to tell them.

If we helped with your mission, you could take us to the Last Safe Place.

If we leave, we'll miss the chance to put Count Olaf in jail.

If we put blindfolds on, we won't see anything at all.

If we put them all together, we can see the whole shape.

If we stop on every floor, I'll never reach the roof in time to poison everyone!

If we want to help the Baudelaires. That's what J.S. said in that telegram.

If you are a mycologist, or if you have seen the previous episode,

If you are considering a career in villainy,

If you are still standing, please take your seats.

If you do it right, you can ruin someone's breakfast.

If you don't come back, you'll die, and I don't want that, not yet.

If you expect me to be put in charge of planning

If you find any volunteers or soft pretzels,

If you have been stricken with a great sadness,

If you learn how they're made, it can ruin your breakfast.

If you see that waiter, tell him I'm still waiting on that milk.

If you spent more time with her, she wouldn't feel the need to act out.

If you tell me about a certain person who's been inviting people to this hotel.

If you're lost, I can help. Thank you.

If you've discovered that the Last Safe Place is no longer safe,

Ike and Gregor had a terrible falling out.

Imagine what you could do with the time and resources that you'd have here.

Impresario.

In a fire?

In a library, 342 is the Dewey Decimal Number for "criminal law."

In a series of increasingly ludicrous schemes in increasingly remote locations.

In a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.

In case you were wondering,

In room 954, which is the library catalog number for India and South Asia,

In the best known novel by Richard Wright which asks,

In the best known novel by Richard Wright.

In the last chair in the back row of a thirdrate orchestra for Count Olaf.

In the opera La Forza del Destino,

In the poem, six blind men encounter an animal

In the role of an attorney.

In which case, welcome to the world, little baby,

Including all the information that could incriminate Count Olaf.

Inside this helmet is a specimen of Medusoid Mycelium.

Instead of floating around looking for a sugar bowl.

Instead of getting me my lactose free ice cream cone!

Instead of leaving in a taxi with his sister, but...

Instead of the lives of the Baudelaire orphans,

Instead, we're facing dangers they never prepared us for.

Interchangeable motels.

Inventor, scientist, explorer, cartographer, poet, journalist,

Inventor. Researcher.

Is a safe life really enough?

Is best discarded,

Is Countie not my daddy anymore? He's not mine either, pet.

Is everyone seated?

Is from not having a clear guardian figure in your life.

Is he here?

Is it even a plant?

Is it flypaper?

Is not one the Baudelaire orphans had much occasion to use.

Is not the same as observing the whole.

Is really part of a larger plan.

Is that a Q?

Is that a threat? Did it sound like one?

Is that my boss? Is it my wife? Is it the taxman?

Is that my new secretary? What are you doing here?

Is the element of surprise.

Is there a library catalog number for mysteries?

Is there a problem?

Is there any beef in it?

Is there something you're not telling me?

Is this out of turn? Yes!

Is this photograph.

Is through close observation.

Is to win the love and approval of your parental figures. I can relate to that.

Is your compassion.

Isn't that right, love of my life?

Isn't that where a gun accidentally goes off and kills somebody?

It began when our parents told us to take a rickety trolley to Briny Beach.

It can be your story, too. Now that you're back, you can help us.

It can ripple,

It can spin you in cycles like a wet pair of pants.

It completes my tea set.

It could destroy V.F.D.'s enemies once and for all.

It feels wrong to go to court wearing disguises.

It hovers over it the way a murder of crows might hover over a hotel.

It is a library.

It is an expression of extreme amazement they used in circumstances

It is an opera.

It is an opera.

It is awful to contemplate

It is customary to give at least ten days' notice when resigning a position, Ms...

It is easier to hide in a darker shade.

It is impossible for one person to be in three places at once,

It is not a pleasant feeling.

It is only through the kindness of my heart and greed

It is, but you'd be safe.

It isn't burning slowly either. What if some people don't?

It looks like a library card catalog.

It looks like the sugar bowl was here.

It looks like...

It may seem like I'm speeding recklessly

It means the people in charge don't know any more than the people following.

It refers to a situation that has suddenly been reversed

It said Fernald betrayed V.F.D.

It seemed like the tables might turn after all.

It seems my fellow judges are ready to deliberate.

It sounds like an alarm.

It was a gray and cloudy day, so we had the beach to ourselves.

It was a slippery slope.

It was an accident. It was Count Olaf.

It was eaten by a shark. Yeah.

It was extremely painful,

It was over the phone, but it sounded like one of them had hair and no beard

It was the worst day of my life.

It was Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire,

It was, boss! Or at least I thought it was.

It won't be easy to find J.S. in a hotel this big.

It worked.

It would be easier to calculate if we knew what was inside.

It would end up in the Laundry room. Sunny locked the door.

It would strike the building at the fifth floor,

It'll be fun.

It'll be okay, Sunny.

It'll be okay.

It's a cocktail party, and fashionable men get a free gift.

It's a hotel acting in the role of a courtroom.

It's a little challenging being the only crew member aboard the Carmelita.

It's a long story, but it all began one night at the opera,

It's a lot of ups and downs, but hey, so is life.

It's a note from Justice Strauss.

It's a seaside hotel. We can take the sub there.

It's a secret library.

It's a surprise.

It's a terrible fire.

It's a tragic opera.

It's a valuable specimen for a talented mycologist.

It's all hands on deck here at the Department of Orphan Affairs

It's all I know how to do.

It's all wrong.

It's almost morning, and there are lots of laws.

It's already an expression.

It's always out there, waiting in the darkness.

It's an insult! It's an outrage!

It's an old book. Maybe V.F.D. have found a cure by now.

It's an old telegram. A Volunteer Factual Dispatch.

It's been hard running the submarine on my own, but V.F.D. is counting on me.

It's being delivered tonight by another client

It's better to let our enemies think that I was dead.

It's blood.

It's called the Carmelita II!

It's called the Olaf.

It's coming straight at us.

It's definitely not a cover story, fire of my loins.

It's depressing me.

It's frankly kind of disturbing how much I love children.

It's full of different things that are just chopped up and

It's gonna be okay.

It's hard to believe our parents went on secret missions.

It's hard to see anything with these blindfolds on.

It's her! It's her! It's her!

It's important to keep this room secure.

It's just a feeling.

It's just been hard without my stepfather.

It's late. We should get to sleep.

It's lettuce.

It's like the blind leading the blind.

It's like we're starting the cycle all over again.

It's marked "G.G."

It's me, Jerome.

It's me. How fast can you swim?

It's my fault. It was my idea to steal the sugar bowl.

It's not gum, is it?

It's not hard. You just have to evade the authorities,

It's not important.

It's not poorly organized. It's arranged like a library catalog.

It's not the sofas. There's something bothering me.

It's not the whole truth.

It's now been many years, months, and sleepless nights

It's okay. We've all been through a lot.

It's on her boat.

It's on your name tag.

It's organized like a library.

It's signed "Fernald."

It's so important in these modern times

It's so sticky that anything it touches becomes instantly trapped.

It's so wonderful to see all of you together.

It's the Medusoid Mycelium.

It's the oddest thing,

It's the season's "innest" weapon.

It's the season's "innest" weapon.

It's the sonar detector.

It's this way!

It's time to poison this hotel.

It's too painful to hold on to,

It's too valuable.

It's very "in."

It's waxing!

It's way too spicy.

It's working.

It's wrong. Something so valuable shouldn't be in the hands of one person.

It's your girlfriend! And the concierge.

Jacqueline Scieszka provided invaluable note taking and globe trotting services.

Jacqueline!

Jacqueline?

Jacques Snicket may be dead, but his research lives on.

Jacques Snicket. We've never met

Jacques Snicket's brother wrote an account of it. It's in the library.

Jerome Squalor shared personal anecdotes about injustices in the financial sector.

Just a lot of wasabi and tarragon.

Just because he doesn't have any hands?

Just how terrifying it is to be under the control

Just think, yesterday I had one job on a submarine.

Just this captain's hat.

Just... not at the same time.

Justice may be blind,

Justice Strauss cannot reply right now.

Justice Strauss has sent me to escort you

Justice Strauss is fine.

Justice Strauss says our word is enough to convince the judges,

Justice Strauss wants us to live with her.

Justice Strauss, are you sure the High Court can handle Count Olaf?

Justice Strauss, come with us. No, it isn't right!

Justice Strauss, the law isn't always just. It isn't always good.

Justice Strauss, those judges are

Justice Strauss!

Kidnapping, and all sorts of assorted misdemeanors.

Kit Snicket.

Kit told me that you were clever.

Kit, is that you?

Kit...

Kit...

Klaus Baudelaire, but

Klaus hurriedly opened the jar of wasabi

Klaus, help me pull this down.

Klaus, Sunny, help me tie this off.

Klaus, tell your sister she is being insubordinate!

Klaus, there's no time. The meeting's on Thursday.

Klaus, we don't even know what this mission is.

Klaus, what are you doing?

Klaus, why are you doing this?

Klaus, your research skills are on par with V.F.D.'s greatest librarians.

Klaus? You shouldn't add false reporting to your list of crimes.

Klaus...

Klaus's discovery of a strange conspiracy on the sixth floor...

Lachrymose leeches?

Larry Your Waiter said something about a package being delivered tonight,

Larry, you're done ruining my schemes, and also my lunch.

Larry.

Last I checked, I had one fabulously handsome, "in" partner.

Legally, we're still married!

Lemon lime soda.

Lemony

Lemony, darling. Tea?

Lemony, I'm so sorry.

Lemony, those children aren't mine.

Let him go.

Let me just take off that stupid helmet. No!

Let me remind you,

Let them eat crow.

Let's end this unfortunate cycle once and for all!

Let's go, buddy.

Let's go!

Let's go.

Let's have one more round of villainous laughter, on the house.

Let's hear from some witnesses. You!

Let's hope it's a phase.

Let's hope the engine doesn't blow.

Let's just agree to disagree.

Let's just get back on the sub.

Let's not stick around!

Let's see where we end up.

Let's see...

Let's sink this wreck and torture the prisoners.

Letting them go was the biggest mistake of my life.

Library? I'm beginning to think you are Giuseppi Verdi.

Life keeps getting better and better!

Life's the pits, and you can't get what you want,

Like a man failing to give three children a ride in his taxi,

Like a real ballplaying cowboy superhero soldier pirate!

Like a sugar bowl.

Like death or curdled cheesecake.

Like dropping a stone...

Like her husband, Jerome Squalor.

Like how Moby Dick is both a literal whale and a metaphor for death.

Like orphans or cats.

Like poor sailors and young people.

Like poor sailors and young people.

Like smoke from an enormous fire.

Like the interpretation of sausages.

Like the ones Isadora used to send couplets in the Village of Fowl Devotees?

Like the throat of a toddler,

Like the unicorn? How exquisite.

Like this sauce, has simmered far too long.

Like water in a pond.

Like what?

Listen to me, Esmé.

Listen, Klaus. There's something you should know about my family.

Listen, mister. I supported you when you wanted to chase your dream

Literary and annoying.

Lock him up until the trial!

Look around!

Look around.

Look at all this equipment.

Look at me, Countie!

Look at me, you cakesniffers!

Look at me! Look, Countie!

Look at them. They're not even old enough to rent a tuxedo,

Look at these tidal charts. I think the submarine is searching for something.

Look at this. I think they were.

Look at you!

Look below the surface.

Look what I found.

Look, uh, Hooky...

Lookee, Countie, I caught a cakesniffer!

Looks fade.

Looks like a self sustaining hot air mobile home

Losing time and again to three children.

Louder, please, for the Court.

Lovely catching up.

Many years ago when I was younger and more naive than I am now.

Maximum knots, and the propulsion motor is dangerously close to blowing.

May already be familiar.

Maybe he's acting calm.

Maybe it's not a room.

Maybe this time, we should stop and think.

Maybe we can do both.

Maybe we deserve to be locked up.

Maybe we don't need to disengage right away.

Maybe you should tell us what we're really getting into.

Maybe, or maybe not. Where else could it land?

Me too.

Me too.

Medusoid Mycelium?

Might help us determine where the currents carried the sugar bowl.

Miss...

Monty, Josephine, the Quagmires.

More powerful than human beings can fathom.

Most people never get to see such a dangerous animal up close.

Mother used to say revenge is like making sausages.

Mountain climbers,

Mr. Poe, this is a shocking development.

Mr. Poe's secretary was called Jacqueline Scieszka.

Ms. Squalor, ever since we met you, you've been obsessed with a stolen sugar bowl.

Ms...

Murderers?

Must be something I ate.

Must be the concierge. You're late. I rang two whole minutes ago.

Must you bring that typewriter everywhere?

My apologies, Mr. Poe, but perhaps you forgot I don't work for you.

My brother's defining words again.

My cab is just over there, and I'd be happy to drive you

My daughter and I are here on topsecret business

My daughter. Isn't she adorable?

My fellow judges want to know how you plead.

My girlfriend said we should ditch you when you didn't come back,

My hands are too sore to clap.

My library is full of accounts of your treachery.

My mentors think that I'm small.

My name is Dewey Denouement. I'm pleased to meet you.

My name is Fiona.

My name is Lemony Snicket,

My name is Lemony Snicket,

My name is Lemony Snicket,

My name is Lemony Snicket.

My name is Lemony Snicket.

My name is some other thing I haven't told you yet.

My party will have an adorable girl doing a tap routine.

My party will have Broadway caliber musical numbers.

My party will have fireworks!

My party will have sausages!

My real parents took me wherever I wanted.

My sister's a mechanical genius.

My step dad was so furious.

My stepfather never told me what was inside the sugar bowl.

My stepfather used to say there are things in the world

My stepfather's not dead.

My submarine?

My telegraph was smashed when Olaf searched the sub.

My, the concierges are short in this hotel.

My, you're smart.

Mycelium is a word for mushrooms.

Mycology, Your Cology,

Myself and my esteemed colleagues.

Nah...

Name.

Naturalist, herpetologist, optometrist, receptionist, chef, waiter, taxi driver,

Never able to turn the tables for very long.

Never finding a safe place,

Never mind that.

Never underestimate the way that a good meal can change the world.

Next stop, Lake Lachrymose!

Next stop, Lousy Lane!

Next stop, the burnt remains of Paltrytville!

Next stop, the hinterlands!

Next time, please ask before you take disguises from my trunk.

Next, they'll be saying Count Olaf is here!

Nice try, but this isn't Frank, it's Ernest!

Nice work, Hooky.

Nice work, Triangle Eyes.

Nine.

No further questions.

No matter how handsome and good looking you are.

No matter what he's done, he's the only family I have.

No one breaks up with Esmé Squalor and gets away with it!

No one cares!

No one has ever done that before.

No one knew why, but they never spoke to each other again.

No one's ever looked good with a mustache, so I guess I'll be the first.

No one's seen him in years.

No prescription moisturizer because someone forgot to pack it!

No, but I am surprised to find Klaus, Violet, and Sunny Baudelaire

No, don't clap for him!

No, I meant, maybe I should search for stowaways.

No, I'm just taking a stroll down one of the many corridors

No, it's this way, left. Let me show you.

No, Larry Your Waiter.

No, no, no!

No, no.

No, not pepper.

No, not without you!

No, of course she can. You're just so young.

No, seriously, it's a big fire. I swear.

No, thank you.

No, that was me.

No, that's not my name.

No! Justice Strauss?

No! No, no, no!

No! No, please stop that!

No! What are you doing?

No! You shouldn't waste the specimen on the Baudelaires.

No.

No.

No. In a manatee accident.

No. The wine room. It's this way, right?

No. Whatever's inside is safer away from Count Olaf.

No...

Nobody's safe as long as Count Olaf's here. We have to get him far away.

Not at all, Your Honor. We'd like to call a witness of our own.

Not if Count Olaf was still at large.

Not if I'm in prison.

Not in the form of a song.

Not just any sausages!

Not like that nice gym teacher, Coach Genghis.

Not so fast!

Not so fast. How does a concierge know my daughter's name?

Not some mysterious event that happened in the past.

Not yet.

Not... not floating around in this hunk of tin.

Now go back to your rooms.

Now let me be clear.

Now let's get moving! Which way?

Now make me a pizza.

Now that my schemes have bore orphan fruit,

Now who's gonna play veterinarian with me?

Now, if you're really Dewey Denouement, you know all about the sugar bowl.

Now, let's not rush to judgment, everyone!

Now, my new secretary will help you find the door.

Now, of course, it is my brother who is dead,

Now, off to the wine room! I could use a nice Caber net.

Now, the boss has questions, and so do I.

Now, the public still thinks that I'm dead,

Now, there'll be no more interruptions, distractions, or side plots.

O...

Occasionally, while I'm collecting evidence

Occupation?

Occupation?

Occupation? Single.

Odd service.

Of a particular organization to which I belong,

Of a villainous, treacherous, tyrannical, traitorous,

Of chasing those orphans

Of course it's here.

Of course there is.

Of course they are, you fool! They're on my side of the schism!

Of course we will.

Of course we will. Being early is "out."

Of course you are.

Of course, I'm too young to be your real mother.

Of course.

Of course. I can also see me not caring.

Of my enormous submarine. What could be wrong?

Of the brave men and women who formed a secret organization

Oh, better than alive.

Oh, boy, this is exciting!

Oh, boy.

Oh, darling, I can't move.

Oh, I found it!  The Water Cycle.

Oh, I just must be hungry for a familiar face.

Oh, I really don't mind what people call me.

Oh, I'll tell you what's "in" and what's "out."

Oh, I'm not Ernest.

Oh, Klaus, you've gotten so tall.

Oh, man, running is super fun!

Oh, my leg!

Oh, my sweet Baudelaires!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, no! He's kidnapped those Snow Scouts we kidnapped!

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Sorry, my left.

Oh, no. The spores are already taking root in her throat!

Oh, no. The spores are already taking root in her throat!

Oh, not anymore. What? Give me that!

Oh, oh, oh! Esmé, let's go laugh at the Baudelaires in the brig.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, she's really coughing her lungs out. She's going to die!

Oh, sorry, boss. I had to swab the deck and hang that picture of Captain Esmé

Oh, sorry. Ma'am, excuse me.

Oh, that Jerome!

Oh, that must be the Baudelaires!

Oh, that's good. Good.

Oh, the Baudelaires.

Oh, the galley.

Oh, the secrets I could share...

Oh, there you are.

Oh, there's one more thing I forgot to tell you to get me.

Oh, they'll know more than that.

Oh, this? It's just something I threw together.

Oh, um...

Oh, well, this is "in"!

Oh, what a lovely sculpture of a snake.

Oh, what are you doing here?

Oh, yes, lock me up!

Oh, you can't believe anything you read in The Daily Punctilio,

Oh, you look great.

Oh, you're most certainly right we've never met.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Look who's on.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Oh... Um, listen, boss,

Oh... Um, listen, boss,

Oh... Um, move to your left.

Okay, that's all right now. That's absolutely fine.

Okay?

Olaf, put the gun down. You've lost your associates.

Olaf, you lack more than an appreciation for subcontinental cuisine.

Olaf?

Olaf...

Olaf's henchman let us get away, the one with hooks.

On Mount Fraught, what despicable act did you perform to rescue your sister?

On the advice of my crew,

Once we get the bowl,

Once we shoot that crow,

Once you suit up, Sunny can join Cookie in the galley,

One glass of milk coming up, and something to bite for the little lady.

One is also safe.

One last thing...

One of Count Olaf's disguises was Captain Julio Sham.

One of my admirers smuggled it to me at intermission.

One of my books has a poem about it.

One of the most powerful elements not found on standard periodic tables

One on the way. I saw you with three more at the hotel.

One second, Sunny.

One side puts out fires, and the other side starts them.

One who knows the wicked things Count Olaf has done,

One...

Only mine is better than yours

Only mine is better than yours

Only our parents.

Only problem is some pesky volunteer put a V.F.D. lock on the door.

Only the most important mission in V.F.D. history.

Only the ones who will believe you.

Only to find it wrecked by a schism,

Only to have the tables turn, and evaporate into the sky once more,

Ooh, not that far.

Ooh, wait a minute.

Oops.

Open up!

Or "likely to cause trouble."

Or an elephant.

Or have you strangled by the arms of this mechanical octopus.

Or I'll feed you to a manatee!

Or if you've noticed that I resemble

Or inheritor of a large fortune.

Or inheritor of a large fortune.

Or it is likely to attract unsavory visitors or...

Or Odious Lusting After Fortunes.

Or Odious Lusting After Fortunes.

Or Odious Lusting After Fortunes.

Or they might be enemies. Look at the High Court.

Or this wine.

Or three of them.

Or two children, or three. Seems like a good number.

Or what if they recruit any volunteer

Or why you're wearing a picture of Santa Claus on your uniforms.

Order in the court!

Other people think that destiny is an invisible force

Ouch!

Our agents are already converging on the Hotel Denouement,

Our enemies are getting bolder.

Our enemies could burn the hotel to the ground and our work would be safe.

Our family is right here.

Our friend might be there. Can you take us?

Our little tête à têtes have been fun, but this rivalry,

Our lives, like our complexions, were perfect

Our most terrifying submarine for one Esmé Squalor.

Our parents went to the Hotel Denouement a long time ago.

Our parents.

Our volunteers are everywhere, observing the world

Out of the window of a hotel room to trap birds? That seems strange.

Out of total unbridled jealousy.

Ow, that's my favorite hook!

Ow!

Ow!

Patience, darling

People are going to be so excited

People aren't either wicked or noble.

People who sunbathe usually aren't interested in library science,

Perfect. Do you have everything you need?

Perhaps even a sibling.

Perhaps it's time for that guardian to be me.

Phil, I am so sorry for causing that accident.

Plants do. Plants are often used to make antidotes.

Please be careful.

Please don't go with Olaf.

Please don't.

Please hold the applause!

Please let us get back to the Queequeg. Can't you see Sunny coughing?

Please reconsider your project.

Please state your names.

Please stay.

Please, darling, you can trust me to keep it safe.

Please, no!

Please, tell me, what are you planning next?

Plus, I bet he can tell us where the Baudelaires are.

Poison dart.

Poke their orphany skin with minimal effort while achieving maximum pain.

Pretend your life depended on it.

Pretty please! With sugar on top

Pretty... uh...

Prufrock Prep!

Push the boat to the edge of the roof, or we'll all die.

Put this on.

Quick, turn everything off again.

Quick, we don't have much time.

Quigley, shut the door!

Quigley, the mushrooms are dangerous!

Quit abruptly this morning.

Rather than watching another second of this danger filled,

Real aura of menace.

Really want me out of your life?

Really?

Remember when we stayed at that hotel

Remember, F is for Frank, who is friendly.

Remember, if anyone peeks,

Remember, we have to convince any flaneurs

Remind me why we can't send her back to her parents.

Reporters,

Rest assured, Baudelaires,

Right this way, ma'am.

Right, then left, then another right, then right again,

Room 610. That's for our guests associated with the healthcare industry.

Root of horse...

Row faster, you cakesniffers!

Run away to monasteries, engage in duels,

Runs in the family.

S.

S...

Sadly, I must also submit this harpoon gun,

Sailors called it The Great Unknown.

Savor them like a fine wine.

Say something.

Say you'll volunteer.

Saying there was a meeting at the Last Safe Place on Thursday.

Sea captain, film director, ballerina, children's book author, and mountaineer.

Search the Queequeg from stern to other side.

See? Even this strange, fertile woman wants you to come with me.

See? My lips can't even form the sound.

Send my regards to Frank.

Sending help.

Serves her right for coming back without the sugar bowl.

Seven!

Shall send the skysc****rs in our cities toppling?"

Shall we get started?

She also received a telegram, but couldn't make it either.

She is not a darling little girl. She is a spoiled brat!

She let me marry you!

She let us go.

She locked the door.

She made that noise because she's enjoying a delicious piece of saltwater taffy.

She means the Medusoid Mycelium.

She never mentioned a lot of things.

She not gonna tell us anything. She's hiding something.

She promised to keep us safe.

She said abandon ship! Stop it!

She said, "Burn down hotel." Sunny, no!

She seems pretty noble to me.

She was taking it to V.F.D. headquarters in the Mortmain Mountains.

She was terrifying!

She who hesitates is lost. Shut off the engines, lights, everything! Go!

She'd be happy to help you in the kitchen.

She'll burn.

She's concentrating very deeply on this case.

She's in bed. She's sick.

She's in prison for bank robbery.

She's infected with the Medusoid Mycelium.

She's infected with the Medusoid Mycelium.

She's not hiding anything!

She's on our side. She's V.F.D.!

She's our sister.

She's resting, and she's fine. We found the antidote to the poison,

She's right. We'd better hurry before Count Olaf notices we're not in the brig.

She's right. You orphans are as dishonest as my ex boyfriend.

She's sleeping now, but she'll be up biting again in no time.

Shh!

Shh! Sorry, baby. You're gonna have to be quiet.

Shiver me timbers!

Shiver me timbers!

Shoot the harpoon!

Shoot the harpoon! Teach me to spit!

Shove the meat in. Don't worry about the bones. That's what the grinder is for.

Show off.

Shut the door!

Sickeningly talented daughter.

Since adults rarely pay attention to them.

Since devoting my life to the case of the Baudelaires,

Since I began to investigate the Baudelaire orphans,

Since those mysterious fires created all those orphans.

Since we got in her taxi, she's broken at least nine traffic safety laws,

Since you ran away from your problems, it became clear

Since you will not have to watch the sad story of the Baudelaire orphans.

Single and loving it.

Single minded revenge.

Sir, The Daily Punctilio arrived with an update on those murderers.

Sixth most important financial adviser.

Sixth.

Smells delicious.

So are we. Violet, maybe leaving isn't such a bad idea.

So did one of mine. You'll never throw it.

So everyone must cover their eyes before the trial starts.

So I decided to fight fire with fire.

So I decided to set things right.

So I did some digging, and do you know what I found?

So I don't get tired of their annoying demands

So I have a very important meeting in the restaurant in room 954,

So I have no idea where it is.

So I just wanted to let you know that you can still count on me.

So I'm afraid you'll have to settle for a quick debrief

So I've been studying the mechanics of this airlock.

So if an object falls into the sea, then it'll end up miles away.

So it was easier to let them believe I was dead.

So tell me, who is this other J.S.

So that anyone who ventures inside

So that makes sense.

So that those who are in a powerless position

So that we knew you were on the Queequeg.

So the fungus can't get out.

So the next time I ask you to toss a baby off a cliff,

So the sauna is on the second floor.

So the sugar bowl

So they're not too picky about location.

So we can miss the V.F.D. gathering for something we know nothing about.

So we have to be extremely careful with what we say.

So we'll have to drive quickly. Do you have any questions?

So what are we gonna do?

So what? Most sailors have more than no hands.

So when she suggested a horseradish substitute,

So while Frank and Ernest run the hotel,

So without further ado

So you need to find out if this J.S. is a friend or an enemy.

So you'll just have to feel around with your hand to find Oh! find me.

So you're neither early nor late.

So you're not dangerous?

So, do you have any secretarial experience?

So...? So I was with one of the brothers too.

Some couple arranged it.

Some girls find "tomboy" insulting.

Some girls find tomboy to be an insulting term that blah, blah, blah...

Some girls find tomboy to be an insulting term that blah, blah, blah...

Some luggage arrived in a taxi,

Some of whom, I am sorry to report...

Some parents. They wouldn't even pay the ransom.

Some people think that destiny is something that you cannot escape,

Some say it's the reason for the schism itself.

Somebody shot that manager and he fell into the pond!

Someone's been repairing a book.

Something bad happened here. It's not just the fire.

Something red. A sauvignon blank.

Something terrible has happened here, but we don't have all the facts.

Sometimes it is a relief to be bored

Sometimes what seems strange is really part of a larger plan.

Sometimes what seems wrong is really part of a larger plan.

Sometimes when I'm in a dangerous situation,

Soon, we will be arriving at the Hotel Denouement,

Sooner or later, some of them will check into a hotel.

Sorry, baby, but I can't let you get away this time.

Sorry, kids.

Sorry, you were saying?

Sounded a lot like a word.

Sounds like a lonely life.

Speaking of parties, after the trial,

Spelling counts.

Spelling doesn't count. Yes, it does!

Stay safe, and good night.

Stole my clipboard, and burned down my hospital.

Stop being depressing.

Stop it!

Stop running away!

Stop. I have my

Such as a public place where I'm being accused of a murder that I did not commit,

Suddenly find themselves in a powerful one, and vice versa.

Sugar bowl in G.G., stop. Mission compromised, stop.

Sugar bowl safe.

Sunny and I made something very special.

Sunny has less than an hour. We have to find an antidote!

Sunny knew that adventurous cooking often necessitates quick substitutions,

Sunny was with the other brother at the same time.

Sunny, how do you make sausages?

Sunny, I don't know what you mean.

Sunny's been infected.

Sunny's been poisoned. If we don't go back, she'll die!

Sunny's life depends on us!

Sunny's right. If we warn people about the fungus, they might not listen.

Super mean and really, really bossy

Super. I'll just take that.

Sure you can

Sure, I ended up doing more murder, arson,

Take care of the Queequeg for me.

Take that!

Take the prisoner to the Carmelita.

Teach me to spit!

Teach me to spit!

Teach me to spit!

Technically, it's a Volunteer Factual Dispatch,

Teehee, taha, to ho tal annihilation!

Telegraph operators,

Tell him to be extra vicious with those brats! I want the location of

Tell me the phrase and I'll type it in. Fine.

Tell me, or eat harpoon! Never!

Tell me...

Tell that to your little sister.

Tell them thank you for the submarine!

Tell you what.

Tell your captain she's being absurd!

Tell your darling little girl to stop drawing so much attention.

Than even a Volunteer Fire Department can put out.

Than the natural phenomena the Baudelaires were about to behold.

Than the natural phenomena the Baudelaires were about to behold.

Thank goodness you got here so fast.

Thank you, Baudelaires.

Thank you, Frank.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks for being so understanding about my

Thanks for the kindling.

Thanks to the efforts of many concerned parties and a banker,

Thanks, boss.

Thanks, boss. But you're still not family.

That adorable little girl swore they weren't poisoned.

That as they contemplated their own sad history

That baby busted them out of jail!

That bell doesn't have a number.

That book on criminal law said that trials can last days or even years.

That came from the kitchen.

That checks out.

That concierge is just standing there

That does check out. He always had a thing for sea cows.

That doesn't make any sense.

That guides people through their lives,

That had to be Ernest. The part about wicked people sounded like a threat.

That happy and lucky people

That hardly seems relevant. This way to the elevator!

That hurt.

That I am throwing you in the brig and torturing you instead!

That I'm happy to share with you if you have any questions,

That is brilliant!

That is enough!

That is so charming.

That is the "outtest" thing of all!

That is why the Queequeg is the only hope of finding it.

That is, if you can forgive me.

That man...

That may be so,

That means put on these disguises and do what I tell you.

That means their interests don't conform to somebody else's expectations.

That might be useful. We've made some progress.

That must be the surprise she and Phil were cooking up.

That must lead to Anwhistle Aquatics.

That noise is Carmelita's singing voice, and it's extremely pleasant.

That old salt lick owes me fifty bucks!

That secret died with Dewey Denouement.

That seems so interested in the Baudelaire orphans?

That sounds nice.

That the stem of your troubles

That the word "innocent" should be written on my face.

That took me hours and hours of walking to memorize.

That treachery has triumphed,

That trial was rigged from the start.

That vent doesn't lead to the laundry room.

That was a favorite of the Baudelaires' father,

That was a jailhouse made of brick and mortar.

That was devoted to fighting the fires of the world.

That was nothing. A few scales, a glimpse of skin.

That was real.

That was the manager.

That wasn't a fake laugh.

That wasn't the route I intended to take, but here we are.

That we're a normal, happy family on vacation.

That would explain why Esmé's watching the skies

That you had the opportunity to poison this entire courtroom,

That you have to get out more?

That's a family.

That's a good point.

That's a lie! He only stroked my...

That's a pirate expression

That's a relief.

That's a smart answer. It's hard to know who you can trust in a hotel lobby.

That's a villainous laugh.

That's absurd. Justice Strauss can tell you

That's an expression pirates use when they're surprised.

That's an interesting question.

That's an interesting question.

That's an interesting question. Do you know what they mean?

That's because The Great Unknown is headed straight for us.

That's because this is scary

That's brilliant! If we stop on every floor, we can warn everyone!

That's Captain Widdershins' ship.

That's Frank Denouement. He's one of the managers.

That's Frank's treacherous brother, Ernest.

That's from the barbecue for the cocktail party!

That's impossible. Quigley Quagmire died in a fire,

That's more than the rest of these people can say.

That's my stepfather, the original Captain Widdershins.

That's no excuse for running away!

That's not a very "in" name. I'm calling you Triangle Eyes.

That's not how this story goes.

That's not the salad, my pet.

That's not what I'm saying at all.

That's odd. I could've sworn I heard someone knock at the door.

That's our rooftop sunbathing salon.

That's pirate for an insulting term!

That's right, left, right, right, left, left.

That's right. All guests at the hotel

That's scientific equipment.

That's some tender tootsies.

That's the pirate word for jail.

That's the salad. You can never trust green food.

That's the taste of my tingly, sensational revenge

That's their plan, to poison everybody at the party!

That's top secret. But I can tell you it's gonna be the "innest" cocktail party

That's V.F.D.

That's what I ought to send!

That's what I'm worried about. Look at Olaf.

That's what made Sunny sick.

That's what makes it so satisfying.

That's what V.F.D. is for.

That's what you think.

That's when all these unfortunate events will be over

That's where V.F.D. is meeting.

That's why I came to the Department of Orphan Affairs.

That's why I'm so glad you've agreed to become my secretary.

That's why it's called injustice. Then why on earth are you here?

That's why she hesitated. What's down there?

That's why they bought me this submarine and hat.

That's why they call it fashionably late.

That's why you invited everyone here.

That's you, Baudelaires.

The "a" would stand for

The "i" would stand for "I'm innocent."

The "n" would stand for "nothing wrong," which is what I've done.

The Baudelaires are running to the elevator! Capture them!

The Baudelaires have taken off their blindfolds!

The book said scientists were working on a cure near Lousy Lane.

The book told me about a secret organization

The brig is this way!

The burnt remains of Caligari Carnival, and the Mortmain Mountains!

The burnt remains of Heimlich Hospital!

The characters argue, fall in love,

The city's fourth most important financial adviser, or something.

The clock in the lobby of the Hotel Denouement

The color puce.

The Complete History of Injustice

The Complete History of Injustice

The consequences would ripple through their lives...

The container is yours, not what it contains.

The Court will deal with you later. Sit down.

The culinary history of the region is quite fascinating.

The currents carried the Baudelaires to the mouth of the Gorgonian Grotto.

The currents in this part of the ocean would have carried the sugar bowl

The currents in this part of the ocean would have carried the sugar bowl

The element of surprise is found where you least expect it.

The elevator isn't stopping.

The expression "shiver me timbers"

The expression "the tables have turned"

The fire is weakening the structural integrity of the building. We have to go.

The fire isn't burning quickly. People will escape.

The first clue is the medical condition all three Baudelaires share.

The first man feels its tall side and concludes it must be a wall.

The floor is yours, Baudelaires.

The force of gravity would smash it to pieces!

The Fungus Among Us, The Mycological Gaze...

The Gorgonian Grotto.

The Great Unknown is falling behind.

The Great Unknown is one of them.

The grotto isolates the fungus so it cannot spread.

The High Court ruled to interpret their name literally.

The Hotel Denouement,

The hotel is on fire!

The humorist John Godfrey Saxe wrote a poem

The job of the concierge is to give our guests everything they ask for.

The job of the concierge is to give the guests exactly what they ask for.

The judges will now convene to reach a verdict.

The judges will now hear this case,

The Last Safe Place will need a new sub librarian,

The Last Safe Place.

The Last Safe Place.

The Last Safe Place.

The Last Safe Place...

The last time I saw you, I was throwing thumbtacks into your cradle,

The left. When I said right, I meant left.

The littlest orphan is following in my footsteps!

The lock is a decoy.

The man in the back of that taxi is myself,

The manager's on our side of the schism. Well, one of them is, anyway.

The meat was dark and tough

The Medusoid Mycelium is a rare mushroom that only grows in the grotto.

The Medusoid Mycelium.

The moral of the poem is that observing a part of something

The motor's not going to hold.

The mushroom waxes and wanes. It appears and disappears in cycles.

The name's Snicket.

The noise it makes sounded a lot like a word,

The noise made by the clock in the lobby of the Hotel Denouement

The only thing left of The Complete History of Injustice...

The opera is a tragedy,

The organization has waxed and waned over the years,

The other judges are his associates. They'll never put him in jail.

The past can hit you like a rock,

The past haunts the present

The phrase "uncharted waters" refers to locations that do not appear on a map,

The picture on their uniforms is Herman Melville.

The poison of a volatile fungus can be the source of some powerful medicines.

The Quagmire triplets and a flock of eagles. They're gonna bring it down!

The Quagmires.

The Queequeg is just offshore.

The real J.S., not that imposter in the dining room.

The reason she didn't tell us what's in the sugar bowl

The rowing room is around the curve to the right.

The schism has turned many siblings into enemies.

The scientists of the world developed a theory called "the water cycle."

The second feels its trunk and decides it resembles a snake, and so on.

The second phrase is the weapon that left me an orphan.

The sound of the clock in the lobby described Sunny Baudelaire

The story of Lemony Snicket would be a sad account

The story of Lemony Snicket would be long and lonely

The sugar bowl is so close I can taste it!

The sugar bowl isn't in the laundry room.

The sugar bowl.

The sugar bowl.

The sugar bowl. I know, I know!

The sugar bowl. The sugar bowl

The surface of a pond might seem calm,

The theft led to a murder, which led to a schism,

The third clue is the famous unfathomable question

The trial is about to begin.

The trial will take place right here in this lobby.

The truth is...

The villainous hotel guests often treat staff like they're invisible.

The water cycle consists of three key phenomena:

The water cycle consists of three key phenomena...

The water cycle consists of three phenomena:

The way a ghost might haunt an opera house.

The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world.

The way these next two minutes would change my own life...

The who, what, when, why?

The world is like a pond that way.

The World is Quiet Here?

The world's troubles aren't the fault of any one person,

Theatergoers,

Their situation, and the Hotel Denouement...

Their worst enemy was adrift in sadness too.

Then can you take us to shore?

Then how did you find us?

Then I guess he's not the only volunteer who will die today.

Then I thought I'd be remiss in my duties as a banker

Then I'm going back up to the roof to escape the authorities.

Then I'm going down to the lobby to poison everyone,

Then I'm going up to the roof to retrieve the Medusoid Mycelium,

Then just try to get along.

Then made it back to the city on skis you carved out of tree bark?

Then once Sunny's safe, we can find a way to free those Snow Scouts. Violet?

Then the High Court could hear the whole story

Then this night is different from all other nights

Then this night is different from all other nights

Then two more lefts and you'll be back at the Queequeg.

Then we can calculate where it ended up.

Then we'll all know what's inside the... sugar bowl.

Then where is it?

Then why are you telling us?

Then why is everybody coughing? It's probably the pepper.

Then you know several facts about the Medusoid Mycelium.

There are countless wicked people in the world.

There are decent, noble people here.

There are enemies in this hotel.

There are eyes everywhere. We'll talk about it in the room.

There are far more important people who deserve to be poisoned.

There are many mysteries I have yet to solve.

There are no noble people in the world

There are other mysteries. Why is Esmé planning a cocktail party,

There are plenty of times where it's better to stop and think.

There are traitors within V.F.D. who do not want to put out fires at all.

There are worse things in this world than theft.

There certainly are.

There has to be some

There is an opera called La Forza del Destino

There might be decent, noble people here!

There must be a sub basement.

There really is a fire! You have to leave!

There was nothing onboard that needed repairing,

There you are, Baudelaires!

There you are.

There you are.

There's a car following us?

There's a picnic basket on the floor.

There's a secret compartment in the bottom of the picnic basket. Open it.

There's a troupe of kidnapped Snow Scouts on that sub. Can you help them?

There's a typewriter inside.

There's an annotation in the margin. What does it say?

There's no fire. The Baudelaires are trying to trick you!

There's no horseradish in the kitchen.

There's nothing funny about villainy.

There's nothing left on that wreck but rusty pipes and poetry books.

There's only one option left. It's a wicked thing to do.

There's only one thing in the world that my heart desires,

There's something sinister about this place.

There's still the baby. Five!

There's still two of you. Ow!

Therefore...

These books then pass through a number of safe places,

These people are here to help us.

These so called decent people

These sofas make terrible beds.

They already have.

They can't be in three places.

They don't know that. What can we do?

They don't look friendly, and I'm on the lam.

They fit perfectly, thank you.

They have been watching you all along the way

They hung up.

They might have found it funny to know

They might not believe us.

They murdered a man named Count Olaf in a village!

They need to hear from someone else.

They never listen, but if there's a fire...

They prepaid.

They remind me of myself!

They should be up here right now.

They tend to just wander off,

They think fire can solve any problem in the world.

They were all invited by someone with the initials J.S.,

They were excited to tell Kit what they'd learned.

They were trying to help you, too. So what did you do?

They who hesitate are lost.

They will be held in contempt of court.

They would be dead.

They'd never cultivate something that would harm people.

They'll know that I've won,

They'll know that the Last Safe Place isn't safe anymore.

They're back.

They're brave, like their mother!

They're cakesniffers!

They're definitely not poisoned.

They're gone.

They're guilty of contempt of court.

They're guilty! They're innocent!

They're hypnotized!

They're like chef salads.

They're like chef's salads,

They're murderers!

They're not. You are.

They're orphans, like their father!

They're real big fans of Herman Melville!

They're so brave!

They're so organized!

They're spreading up the stairs! You have to go!

They're telling the truth! Unless they're lying!

They're the Baudelaires.

They're triplets.

They're triplets.

They've always been very interested whenever I've mentioned you children.

They've trembled at my every wicked deed.

Thieves!

Things are worse than we thought.

Things aren't always what they seem, Baudelaires.

Think again.

Think how terrible it would feel to be chased out of a cloud

This file is more than a collection of esoteric documents

This hotel has ever seen.

This hotel is full of people we know, but they can't all be part of V.F.D.

This is a courtroom, not a theater!

This is a submarine.

This is a V.F.D. submarine. What are phrases associated with V.F.D.?

This is a volatile situation.

This is actually my secretary. Well, technically, she's a concierge.

This is an incredible find.

This is books on mushrooms.

This is books on mushrooms.

This is Herman Melville. He's one of my favorite authors.

This is like the blind leading the blind, an expression that I just made up myself.

This is no way to treat a waiter!

This is not the story of Lemony Snicket.

This is Room 342.

This is the index. The file was too big for my briefcase.

This is the index. The file was too big for my briefcase.

This is the story of the Baudelaire orphans...

This is where I read about the Medusoid Mycelium.

This isn't rented. I stole it.

This isn't the file. Beg your pardon?

This mission could be doomed.

This must be the elevator over this way.

This muumuu is not very "in."

This number is called "Swan Lake,"

This one's a real snooze.

This sort of life in which one would always be forced into motion

This sounds like a Viciously Fraught Dilemma.

This sugar bowl is our only hope. It can save lives

This sugar is extremely bitter.

This tea needs more sugar.

This time, we are going after what I want.

This time, we promise to listen.

This trial is about the Baudelaires,

This trial is for Count Olaf.

This way.

This word described Klaus Baudelaire

This world won't be quiet or safe until he's behind bars.

Those are the children I saw from my window!

Those beady little eyes. That bloodthirsty smile.

Those brats are liars! That's the truth!

Those concierges shot the manager!

Those footprints are recent.

Those judges never thought I was wicked enough. I'll show them, too!

Those letters don't spell anything

Those look like they burned down recently.

Those pesky brats cause me nothing but grief.

Those poor children.

Those voices sound familiar. We have to look.

Those volunteers are always sending each other annoying telegrams.

Those volunteers never thought I was noble enough. I'll show them!

Those walls are reinforced steel.

Though I fear the worst.

Though I have a theory involving a secret sub basement

Though they wondered what could be keeping her.

Three bells, three rooms.

Through some of the least "in" landscapes in the hinterlands.

Thursday?

Time after time,

Time to unleash a deadly fungus.

To answer a distress call from a manatee and never came back.

To apprehend any guilty party who tries to escape.

To be yanked away from my comrades,

To destroy a bunch of people placed into my hands, wasn't I, Hooky?

To determine if J.S. is a villain or a volunteer.

To drown my sorrows,

To gather once more in a body of water

To get from the third floor to the lobby,

To go to the Hotel Denouement on Thursday,

To indulge in some sadness and rock skipping instead of searching for you,

To keep our research cataloged and secure.

To offer a few words about fire safety, particularly

To one's own future,

To the bottom of the sea to hunt orphans,

To the Last Safe Place, if that's still where you want to go.

To the police station so we can sort everything out.

To the right!

To... ta... lly.

Today, I have two!

Tonight. And the package will be arriving as well.

Tonight's casserole is extremely chewy.

Tort tort, turmeric!

Torture those orphans.

Triangle Eyes is right.

Triangle Eyes, find the baby and bring the Baudelaires to the brig.

Trouble may wane.

Trouble may wax.

Trust me. It can.

Trusted associates, and beloved siblings.

Try the sausages. Aren't you adorable!

Turn out the lights!

Turn the corner on this unfortunate episode,

Turncoat!

Two of those judges are working with Count Olaf!

Type it in!

Type it in!

Typical Olaf. Throwing a party instead of starting a fire.

Ugh!

Uh, I think you're confused. Your life depends on me.

Uh, we're ready.

Uh, what's wrong? What? Nothing. Nothing.

Uh, you were a captain not five minutes ago, love.

Uh...

Uh...

Uh... Wait.

Um, so that I could... uh...

Unfortunately, the only way to determine if someone is noble or wicked

Unhand me, you cretins!

Uniforms? Disguises.

Unless it was a warning. I'm confused.

Unless you change your mailing address to prison.

Unless you were born yesterday,

Unless, of course, that person is viewing a television program.

Until Count Olaf and the Baudelaires came along.

Until he revealed the location of you orphans,

Until I found each bit evidence that could relate to the Baudelaire case.

Until it all clots up and you get an eye infection.

Until the entire world has been changed.

Usually,

V.F.D. is aware of Ms. Spats' intentions, and we've already taken them into account.

V.F.D. is here, and they'll make sure you pay for your crimes.

V.F.D. must have been doing experiments down here before the fire.

V.F.D. sent me. I got the sugar bowl!

V.F.D. sent me. I got the sugar bowl!

Very Fancy Doctors. V.F.D.

Very good. Children make the best flaneurs,

Vice President of Orphan Affairs.

Vice Principal Nero said J.S. is someone that Esmé would know.

Village of Fowl Devotees!

Violet Baudelaire, but

Violet Baudelaire. Klaus Baudelaire.

Violet, hurry! It's spreading towards you!

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire.

Violet, stop!

Violet, you're so grown up.

Violet, you've invented amazing things under incredible pressure.

Violet!

Violet?

Violet? Klaus?

Violin.

Vive Le Révolution!

Volunteer Fire Department!

Wait and see.

Wait until the readers of the Esmé Squalor Fan Club newsletter hear about that!

Wait, boss! That was your last chance.

Wait, that can't be right.

Wait, what did you say? Nothing, darling.

Wait.

Wait. Where is the baby? Is she okay?

Wait...

Wait...

Was placed into my hands right now like a sandwich.

Was renowned as a marine research and rhetorical advice center,

Was that a poison dart?

Was the stuff of legend,

Was wrong.

We are discussing social justice, not social engagements.

We are grateful for your courage.

We are not after the Baudelaires! We're after the sugar bowl.

We assume the bowl was carried downstream,

We both know he's not that good. Something's wrong.

We burned down their house with them inside.

We call Count Olaf to the stand!

We can declare these unfortunate events over at last.

We can end this, once and for all. Then what?

We can talk about it once we find the sugar bowl.

We can use tape. And pliers.

We can't have treacherous people running around a hotel.

We can't live on the run forever.

We can't lose her!

We can't lose Sunny.

We can't stop.

We certainly are! This court is worthless and dishonorable!

We collect reports from every V.F.D. agent, scholar, researcher,

We could all be in danger.

We could be looking at a schism.

We could be walking into a trap.

We could use the help.

We could use the library catalog system to find some answers.

We definitely haven't been this way. Wait.

We didn't do anything. It was an accident.

We didn't lose our family.

We don't have any butter, but we do have olive oil.

We don't know if the calculations are correct.

We don't know where the sugar bowl is, and we don't care. Sunny

We drove down Lousy Lane on our way to live with Uncle Monty.

We encountered the Medusoid Mycelium in the grotto.

We got everything we needed from him.

We had wasabi the entire time,

We have to break this cycle. That's why we can't go with you.

We have to find an antidote!

We have to find out what he and Esmé are planning.

We have to get out of here! You have to help us, please!

We have to get out of here! You will not abandon ship!

We have to get out of here. I know.

We have to get past Carmelita and Esmé first.

We have to get to the Queequeg.

We have to make it to the Last Safe Place by Thursday. We're running out of time!

We have to make them think we're a happy couple

We have to put our blindfolds on if we want to see justice served.

We haven't gotten your name yet.

We haven't just grown. We've changed.

We heard about a sugar bowl.

We heard about the schism, but we still don't know what it was about.

We held Esmé

We held Esmé Squalor hostage

We invited Count Olaf here too,

We just have to wait till Thursday.

We know them, of course. It's just standard procedure.

We know what tsuris means.

We know who J.S. is. We know the sugar bowl is being delivered,

We met at a support group for people who have escaped horrible partners

We need a place to surface. A beach or a dock.

We need help!

We need to create a distraction to get back to the Queequeg.

We need to create a sea monster.

We need to find an antidote. She's getting worse.

We needed a ride to the hotel.

We offer partial pay maternity leave.

We received the same telegram, but it can't be from Jacques. He's...

We should hesitate now.

We should leave before those officers reach us.

We should read that, in case it comes back,

We should say goodbye to the man with the taxi.

We should try and find the Last Safe Place

We still haven't found the sugar bowl, darling.

We survived because we believed that one day we'd find a safe place.

We theatrical types should be complimented, not criticized.

We tried to tell people who he was and what he was capable of!

We want to know why.

We went there. They burnt down.

We went to live with Count Olaf.

We were at the opera,

We were testing an invention

We will now retire to decide the verdict.

We would. That's why we have to do this.

We'd love to live with you.

We'd rather see you in jail

We'll be a family soon.

We'll be at Anwhistle Aquatics within the hour.

We'll discuss it on the way.

We'll discuss receiving personal correspondences in the office tomorrow.

We'll find out the truth.

We'll prepare for any tricks he might pull.

We'll retrieve the sugar bowl from the laundry room.

We'll see about that.

We'll send a signal to warn V.F.D. Do you understand?

We'll take the Olaf. It's called the Carmelita II.

We'll take the service elevator.

We're all friends here. Let's have a quiet, rational discussion.

We're allergic to peppermints

We're anticipating a large number of guests before Thursday.

We're at a crossroads.

We're doing the job we were instructed to do.

We're going to disguise ourselves as concierges

We're going to go on a real vacation soon, Mummy promises.

We're going wherever you're going.

We're gonna make those cakesniffers pay.

We're innocent! I'm sure you are,

We're innocent.

We're innocent.

We're not going anywhere with him!

We're not in your clutches. We're standing at the edge of a pond.

We're not leaving.

We're not lying! Can't you smell the smoke?

We're nothing like you. Or Count Olaf.

We're orphans too.

We're proud to serve a wide variety of Indian dishes.

We're serving mushrooms.

We're sorry.

We're under attack!

We've been rowing for hours.

We've broken out of prison before.

We've each heard parts of a larger plan.

We've got uniforms in the barracks.

We've had our...

We've researched an antidote, but only horseradish can save you.

We've served on the High Court for many years.

We've suffered so much, but the root of our suffering is one man.

We've turned the tables on that terrible fungus.

Wealthy women are particularly welcome.

Welcome to the brig, Baudelaires.

Welcome to the Hotel Denouement. I'm one of the managers.

Welcome to the hotel. I'm one of the managers.

Welcome to the Queequeg, Baudelaires.

Well, a library organizes knowledge

Well, after that fraud of a wedding,

Well, did they order anything else? Maybe under the name Olaf?

Well, he, uh...

Well, hello.

Well, I appreciate the gesture, but I prefer a smaller, lighter hat.

Well, I bet you don't know about the incredibly deadly vegetable

Well, I have someone too.

Well, I prefer my entertainment without unmotivated musical numbers,

Well, I think we should sit down for this part.

Well, I wish you'd reconsider.

Well, I'm pretty mechanically minded myself, so the boat's in ship shape.

Well, if it isn't the nosy neighbor.

Well, if it isn't the Queequeg.

Well, it can't be these sausages.

Well, it's a poem.

Well, it's torture time. I'm off to the brig.

Well, J.S. did say that everyone who's ever met the Baudelaires was invited,

Well, let's hurry along before we Countie!

Well, lookee here. A small child.

Well, m m maybe a little...

Well, maybe something good can come out of something bad.

Well, my home could use three lovely, clever, talented children.

Well, our parents kept secrets from us too.

Well, our troubles won't be over until we find a home.

Well, thank you for wasting everyone's time!

Well, that makes sense.

Well, that makes sense. You're in a submarine.

Well, the 200s are the library catalog numbers for religion,

Well, the High Court ruled that we should interpret that expression literally,

Well, the interpretation of laws can be perplexing,

Well, then innocent should be spelled O L A F,

Well, then, hand them over, Frank.

Well, then, I suppose I'll add gravity to my list of enemies.

Well, they joined up with me. So Step Pop's really gone?

Well, this wasn't my intention, but at least we got to start a fire.

Well, we're glad you found us. We got a message from V.F.D.

Well, we're sorry

Well, well, well.

Well, well, well...

Well, what about Count Olaf?

Well, what if you weren't on your own?

Well, you can't always believe what you read in the newspaper.

Well, you won't have to worry about him for long.

Well?

Well?

Well.... And I don't need to ask you

What a fortuitous turn of events.

What a stupid elevator.

What about Kit Snicket?

What about the fridge?

What about your siblings?

What are both sides of the schism after?

What are those parasitic things that cling to you and suck your blood?

What are you doing here on Briny Beach... again?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here? I'd given up all hope of finding you,

What are you doing, Baudelaires?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Innocent people will get hurt.

What can I do? You're not dead yet. Do something.

What can we do?

What choice did we have?

What choice do I have?

What did the little brat say?

What did you help me do?

What do those numbers mean? There can't be 999 rooms in this hotel.

What do we do now?

What do we do?

What do we have here?

What do we tell Olaf when we come back empty handed?

What do you mean? Captain's orders. We wait.

What does that mean?

What Esmé means is go eat in the brig with the rats.

What happened next?

What if he meant carrier crows,

What if the plan is for the package to fall in there?

What if they get their hands on Gregor Anwhistle's research?

What is going on?

What is it you require, ma'am? Don't address me.

What is that cakesniffing shape?

What is that?

What kind of experiments?

What kind of surprise? If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise.

What my sister means is she recently took up an interest in cooking.

What my sister means is the literal interpretation makes no sense.

What spyglass?

What the No, this way.

What this means is that a small event,

What was that?

What, what? Well, you can't be Dewey.

What?

What? No, I left.

What's for dinner, Cookie?

What's going on out here?

What's in the sugar bowl?

What's that noise?

What's that question mark?

Whatever her heart desires.

Whatever this is about, you can tell us.

Whatever you do, stay where you are!

When Beatrice is on, he only has ears for her.

When did you change? We boarded the sub, like, right away.

When I learned what Gregor Anwhistle was cultivating in his grotto:

When I was watching you from under that table,

When it wanes, you might not even know it's there, but when it waxes...

When it was necessary to pose as a pirate experiencing amazement.

When one feels as if one's very bones, or timbers, are shivering.

When taken together, it forms a complete history of injustice,

When they ring, you volunteer.

When this person pops up,

When this person pops up,

When we saw a figure in the mist. It was Mr. Poe from the bank.

When we were gathered in a lake or a puddle,

When you didn't show up at the office,

When you perform even the tiniest of actions,

When you see her dance, your eyes will bleed with gratitude

When you think of me, think of a food you love very much.

When, in reality, any number of secrets might be hidden beneath it.

Where all V.F.D. is gathering.

Where am I?

Where are yours? Oh, right. I killed them all.

Where did your secretary go?

Where do you think you're going?

Where have you been, and how did you get here?

Where have you been?

Where have you been? On the lam.

Where have you been? On the lam.

Where I will unleash the Medusoid Mycelium

Where is he? He's distracting Olaf, but we got away.

Where is Jacques? I miss that knucklehead and his mustache.

Where is the old man, anyway? I thought this was his sub.

Where it accidentally goes off and kills someone.

Where it was carried out to sea.

Where people would listen to us.

Where the swan gets run over

Where the tides carried it in a northwesterly direction.

Where they murdered Count Olaf!

Where's the baby?

Wherever they are now.

Which are neither dry as in boring nor dry as in lacking ocean.

Which cannot be known until it arrives.

Which frankly has given me nothing but tsuris.

Which I often do as your number one fan,

Which is a normal activity that many families do.

Which is a type of message sent out to all the members

Which is perfect because I'd like a face peel.

Which is why I am not going to let you out of my sight.

Which is why I recommend limiting one's scientific studies to the water cycle.

Which led to two retracted marriage proposals

Which seems to be going around.

Which suits me fine because my work is secret, too.

Which was used to kill a hotel manager late last night,

Which wasn't easy because it's very poorly organized,

Which you signed J.S., yes.

Which, like justice and sausages, has been served cold!

While I show Klaus the library.

While the authorities wait outside

While you've been gone, we've lost so many good people.

While your accomplices, being wicked, will arrive late.

Who are you again? Oh, never mind. There's room in the brig for all of you.

Who are you?

Who caused all the terrible accidents at Lucky Smells Lumbermill?

Who dares interrupt a genius when he's sunbathing?

Who feels lost and vulnerable enough to join them?

Who help him, intentionally or unintentionally, along the way.

Who lack the good sense to stay put.

Who requested the same materials.

Who sadly perished in a fire,

Who shot Dewey Denouement,

Who sings in the middle of a duel?

Who wants to see me hit a cakesniffer with a harpoon?

Who were about to experience a similar incident.

Who would often torment his children by reciting it.

Who wouldn't pass up the chance to speak in front of a crowd.

Who's Fernald?

Who's the chick with the glasses? I thought you said this sub was empty.

Who's there? I can't see a thing in this steam.

Why are they so high up?

Why didn't Kit tell us about you? My existence is secret,

Why do we?

Why is everyone watching the skies?

Why it's important, or how it was stolen,

Why not use them in service of its greatest library?

Why should we listen to cakesniffers?

Why were you on the Queequeg? What are you playing at?

Why would I change my address to prison? Because you'll be a prisoner!

Why would we hold a sugar bowl with our toes?

Why, the Baudelaire case alone has chapped my lips too many times to count!

Why, when I was your age, I spent years

Why?

Why?

Widdershins and his fondness for limericks.

Widdershins, you old fool.

Widdershins? That sounds like a skin disease. Am I right?

Will be arrested by the authorities.

Will the defendant state his name.

With an extensive backstory

With good things and bad things chopped up and mixed together

With noble intentions,

With our luck, Esmé, the sugar bowl will come falling out of the sky!

With V.F.D. out of the way,

Without the Baudelaires to torment, there is no light, no air,

Without the sugar bowl, there is no gathering. Now get to work.

Without them, V.F.D. would never have survived after the schism.

Woo!

Woo!

Would you mind if I kept this?

Written by a composer named Giuseppe Verdi.

Wrong seat, cakesniffer!

Wrong.

Wrong.

Yeah, those brats have a point. I would be rich.

Yep, just a normal family

Yep, just a normal, regular, ordinary family.

Yes, although our problem is not flies. It's birds.

Yes, and you can choose death by harpoon. Six!

Yes, Baudelaires.

Yes, boss.

Yes, but that just means that justice should be fair and unprejudiced.

Yes, I meant to say literally.

Yes, I've also been trapped in an elevator with Esmé Squalor.

Yes, it did. Good. It was.

Yes, lie to her. That's excellent parenting.

Yes, sir.

Yes, well, comedy is subjective. Higgledy piggledy!

Yes, well, I anti don't care. Tee hee, ticklish!

Yes, you can take that to room 347, please. Civil procedures and courts

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes! We met at a support group for people who were terrorized by Esmé Squalor,

Yes?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Well...

Yes...

Yippeekiyay, mateys!

Yippeekiyay.

You adopted us for a while.

You already knew that?

You always picked the wrong side.

You and Fiona?

You apologize to our darling little girl!

You are gonna stay and watch my recital,

You are my henchperson,

You are so glamorous and important. You remind me of myself.

You both have the exact same initials.

You cads!

You can get in my taxi.

You can torture us all you want. I am gonna torture you all I want.

You can trust the law.

You can wear a fake mustache, you can rent a tuxedo

You can't believe anything you read in The Daily Punctilio.

You can't break up with me.

You can't prove that. That's the whole point of this trial.

You can't retrieve the sugar bowl without the code.

You can't run from the scene of a crime.

You can't run from the scene of a crime.

You can't sail a boat off a tenstory building.

You can't sail a boat off a tenstory building.

You can't start tomorrow. What about the other volunteers?

You could be doing so much more than playing second fiddle

You did a terrible thing for a noble reason.

You didn't destroy it? No, we saved it for you.

You do not want to miss dessert.

You don't have to do this.

You don't have to put your blindfold on. I'll do it for you.

You don't say.

You don't want to miss the penultimate scene.

You have a brother?

You have a choice. You can choose not to pull that trigger.

You have a lot to learn about cooking, little lady.

You have disappointed us for the last time.

You have probably observed that things aren't always what they seem.

You have relied on treachery for survival, just like everybody else.

You haven't even tried the curry.

You haven't heard the last of Esmé Gigi Genivive Squalor.

You hear me?

You heard him. Get to the brig, you biscuiteaters!

You heard the clock strike three.

You helped burn down Caligari Carnival. You've played with fire, too.

You in the crow hat!

You joined up with the Baudelaires?

You know how good I am with children. So, come along, Baudelaires!

You know our names? Are you Frank or Ernest?

You know that everything that's happened is my fault.

You know that it grows best in small, dark places,

You know that it is a poisonous fungus that waxes and wanes,

You know what's inside and how important it is,

You know, I don't know. Maybe...

You know, ordinarily, I would never let a toddler peel potatoes, but...

You know, you and Violet are actually a lot alike.

You lack morals and ethics. And back up! Where are your associates now?

You like the Baudelaires more than me?!

You look just like your mother.

You man handling imposters!

You may applaud.

You may cross examine the witness.

You may feel as if you have been set aflame

You may find that what seems confusing

You may learn things that you didn't want to know.

You may remove your blindfolds.

You may see all three of these things.

You may sit.

You may step down now.

You mean Dewey Denouement.

You mean her name. J.S. is a woman.

You mean that they're

You mean to tell me

You might want to consider doing your hair different so I can tell you apart.

You might want to consider doing your hair different so I can tell you apart.

You must be our new concierges.

You of all people should know who know J.S. is!

You only know the bad aspects of him. He has his good parts.

You orphans are as useless at sea as you are on land.

You people humiliated me, so I made you eat crow!

You probably have a person or two in your life who is like that.

You put on these diving suits, and the room fills with water,

You recognize us.

You remind me of a toddler I know.

You remind me of them so much. You all do.

You rotten brats have made my life miserable.

You said the trial would be on Thursday. That's two days away.

You said there was an emergency. Yes, it's terrible.

You said you were with Frank or Ernest at three o'clock.

You said your name is Kit Snicket. We met a man named Jacques Snicket.

You saved my life.

You saved yourself.

You scared me, boss.

You scared me!

You see, Baudelaires, I have a family too,

You see, the Hotel Denouement is not just organized like a library.

You see? There is no problem that a family dinner can't solve.

You seem like a natural!

You should give her a chance.

You should have given up a long time ago.

You should have seen the fire.

You should reconsider. I don't imagine you get invited to a lot of parties.

You skin it.

You sound like Cookie. He's always saying cheery stuff like that.

You sound like my husband, what's his name.

You stay out of this!

You still don't get it. There is no wrong side of the schism.

You stop! Stop!

You think V.F.D. is noble?

You think you know this story, but you don't even know how it begins.

You too, you little fungal freak.

You two are a couple?

You want a family one day.

You want me to hang flypaper

You want to give us your library? I've read all about you, Baudelaires.

You were a terrible guardian! Sunny doesn't know what she's saying.

You were going to burn us at the stake!

You were going to desert me.

You were radiant.

You were saying?

You weren't heartbroken. You've tried to murder us plenty of times.

You will be spared the tragic tale of the Hotel Denouement.

You will dive deep and retrieve that sugar bowl!

You will do as I say. I already bought you that ridiculous outfit.

You will fail me if you don't help me open the lock.

You will lose everything, orphans.

You will need several things...

You will put the blindfolds back on for the verdict.

You won't be receiving mail for a very long time,

You would have our fortune if it weren't for Esmé.

You would never unleash the Mycelium. Not without the sugar bowl.

You, maimed or dead, and your fortune in my rarelywashed hands.

You, me,

You, take a seat!

You, too, Baudelaires.

You!

You!

You! Who stole Hal's keys and broke into the library at Heimlich Hospital?

You? Captain of a submarine? I don't believe that.

You...

You'll die with them. Oh, no.

You'll find this interesting, Olaf.

You'll have to shoot me too.

You'll need a new home. Why not here?

You'll never be half the man Jacques Snicket was.

You'll never get away with this!

You're a capable woman, Esmé.

You're a disgrace to the legal profession!

You're at the bottom of the ocean and there's not much air in those suits.

You're both pretty smart, pretty strong willed, pretty...

You're children!

You're close. It's a volunteer.

You're darn right, the sugar bowl.

You're figuratively drowning in paperwork.

You're fired.

You're going to wait right here until I get the manager.

You're just in time for my special dance recital.

You're just mad because that nice couple from the mountain like me better than you.

You're leaving.

You're my favorite again, Ferndale.

You're not a wicked person.

You're not coming? I'm afraid I have my own mission,

You're not Kit.

You're not taking us to the brig? Of course not.

You're not the innocent orphans you've let these people think you are.

You're orphans!

You're outnumbered, Olaf. This hotel is full of volunteers who arrived early,

You're playing with fire. Don't make me do the same."

You're putting Count Olaf on trial?

You're right. I know I am. That's why I said it.

You're scaring our daughter!

You're speaking to the help right now.

You're such a wonderfully nosy man. You must know all sorts of information.

You're sweetening the pot. Four! Baudelaires...

You're the one who makes our lives miserable!

You're trying my patience.

You're under oath.

You've abandoned people.

You've always had a way with words.

You've been accused of murder, arson,

You've been helping us this whole time and we didn't know?

You've got a lot of moxie, kid.

You've lied.

You've never cared about me, Esmé.

You've set fires.

You've stolen.

Young man, are you telling me that you tobogganed down a frozen waterfall,

Your assignments await.

Your birthday.

Your boyfriend should be inside.

Your brother?

Your choice.

Your father is very stressed about work, darling.

Your great gift, aside from your ability to pull off dragonfly themed couture,

Your Honor,

Your Honor, wait! Klaus, do you have an objection?

Your husband?

Your mother always tied her hair up when she needed to think, too.

Your name is Lemony? Snicket.

Your objection is noted, though I caution the defendant about speaking out of turn.

Your parents put many brave deeds on the books.

Your stepfather abandoned you.

Your sub's the one with the tentacles.

Your submarine has been captured.

Your wife?

Your word is all the evidence we need.

Your world will be changed for the better,

135. I already thought of that.

332, financial economics.

but I said, "Not without Hooky." Who would do the cooking?

Doesn't ring a bell. Hm.

He's my only family! He's dangerous!

I'll get them. Please hurry back.

I'm literally drowning in paperwork. Figuratively.

It looks like a big comma. It's the Great Unknown.

It's a submarine. A very strange submarine.

It's marked "A.A." Anwhistle Aquatics.

Mommy! It's the Great Unknown!

or this message couldn't come through. All volunteers."

Sugar? No, thank you.

That's not true. Really?

The paste is still wet. The tea is still hot.

There's Klaus. Good.

Those Snow Scouts are terrible rowers. Hm mm.

We can repair it. Hang on, Sunny.

We're going down. The basement laundry room.

What was that racket? What's going on down there?

What's the password? We don't know the password.

You can't trust the authorities. They're escaping!

You're coming with us, brats. What about me?

You're manipulating the facts! So are you.

Actually, you know, my name is This is a family dinner.

And a distant cousin who is dead to me. Is this because I didn't murder the baby?

And you're sure it's edible? That's what I said.

Are you a mycologist? I've always been interested in fungi.

as a horse thief before We're running out of time!

Aye aye! Aye aye.

Baudelaires, what's going on? We need your help.

Because I'm too young? Because you're a girl.

But I am the captain and that is an order!

But darling, the sugar bowl Yes, I know you want the sugar bowl!

But it's on that tray. I'll go get it from the chef.

Chewy? It's just gum.

Complex math. I'm talking about real problems, guys!

Cookie? My other crewman.

Darling... Not now, my pet.

Did it sink? Oceans are in constant motion,

Doesn't she? You're not Captain Widdershins.

Don't want to broaden your horizons? No, thank you. I'm afraid of foreigners.

Don't you trust me? Of course.

Fiona can handle herself. We're not leaving her behind!

Frank, we're sorry about your brother. I don't see what the big deal is.

Good timing, Phil. Don't thank me, thank Sunny.

He conspired with Esmé Squalor. And Carmelita Spats.

He's your Stupid cakesniffer!

Hello? Is someone up there?

His name is Phil. And I call him Cookie.

Hm! Are you here for the trial?

How are we supposed to find anyone? I can answer that question.

I don't think it works that way. Well, I need to relieve my stress somehow

I expect to hear one thing. Uh...

I had to see if it was true. It isn't just Jacques.

I read your telegram. Which I signed J.S

I said I was sorry! Sh!

I searched the sub. And?

I see. My stepfather had a philosophy:

I... Let's Soup's up!

I'll take it! They said she was captain.

I've still got two of ‘em! Come on! Show off.

in the middle of the ocean. How do you know who we are?

is because she doesn't know. So she lied? What else is she hiding?

is near the ruins of Anwhistle Aquatics? That's where it gets confusing.

Is that Q the Queequeg? Aye.

It may come as a surprise... The strong profile, the one eyebrow.

It's a sub library, so it's submerged. It's under the pond.

It's an underwater cave below the lab. So we'll set a course for the Grotto.

It's for me. For you?

It's the Baudelaires, love. Who?

It's vegetarian. Vege what who?

It's with someone we trust. We didn't escape.

Let's go, orphans. Sea monster!

Maybe if we go dark, it won't see us. But

My handsome daughter I'm not handsome! I'm adorable.

nearly cut off their heads. Hmm.

No, no, no. That healed ages ago! Then what happened to your leg?

Not in the lobby! Oh!

Oh, no! It can't be!

Oh! Consider this a mutiny.

Olaf, are you in one of your moods? We should be hunting Baudelaires,

on the chewing gum. Hey, Cookie! Get out here!

on the laundry room door. That's the problem.

Ow! Don't be such a baby.

Phil! Phil!

Political injustice. Stomachache.

Quigley? Quigley!

So it's poisonous. And deadly.

So let's not hesitate, Baudelaires. Aye aye.

Sorry, I I'm gonna go check the sonar equipment.

That's moi. And one adorably adopted,

That's not a bad idea, Hooky. Actually, my name is

That's not how you spell innocent. I'm sure spelling doesn't count.

That's still a few days away. You'd volunteer?

They might evacuate the building. And be safe.

They're not gonna let us in! They might if we say the right thing.

to really be together. Look at me!

Two... If you want to shoot him,

Violet, stop. There's something she's not telling us.

Wait, what? How dare you call me that.

We don't even know what the package is. Maybe we do.

We need help! We just fell off a mountain.

we'll be able to escape to the surface. Not without Fiona.

We'll be in contempt of court. Maybe this court deserves contempt.

We'll meet you at the Last Safe Place. No!

We're close, I promise. The machine isn't broken too badly.

We've been eating crow?! It tastes more like chicken.

Well, at least the sub's a rental. Hooky's defected.

Well, now which way? We have to go back.

What can I do? Do you have any special skills?

What do you think happened to him? He probably drowned.

What is this? What? Oh, it's a chef's salad.

What? We shouldn't rush it.

What's going on? Violet, you have to come down.

What's in it? That's top secret.

What's so important about the sugar bowl? Both sides of the schism are after it.

Where should we start? Well, a book on tidal charts

Where should we start? Well, a book on tidal charts

Where's Kit? She was supposed to meet us. I'm her brother. She sent me to help you.

Which are definitely my initials. Which are certainly your initials.

Who's asking? Your submarine's ready.

Why are you making those noises? It's our new villainous laugh.

Why didn't he recognize us? He only saw our uniforms.

with everybody rushing around... Look! Look!

You think? Or got himself eaten by sharks.

You? You think a girl can't man a submarine?

You'll have to read quickly. Mother said laws are like sausages.

you'll have to shoot me! I can live with that. Three...

You're not gonna tell us? It's on a need to know basis,

...a villainous way to get around, like a particularly nightmarish submarine,

...and countless neighbors,

...but so much less upsetting...

...matches, candles, arsonists...

...that families carve out time

...the Baudelaires' situation still has time to get much, much worse.

'Cause I think she's a lot like you.

"A single spore has such grim power that you may die within the hour."

"Adventurous cooking often necessitates quick substitutions,"

"Currently Very Fancy Doctors are searching for an antidote

"Give my regards to the principal."

"He who hesitates is lost."

"He who hesitates is lost" isn't a very useful philosophy.

"I hope these fit. I know you've grown."

"Is dilution simple? But of course. Just one small dose of root of horse."

"La forza del destino" is an Italian phrase meaning "the force of destiny,"

"Out!" Being stuck playing second banana

"Penultimate" is a word meaning "next to last."

"Please arrive by Thursday to the Last Safe Place..."

"Sorry Boss." What's that supposed to mean?

"Splat."

"The fast acting poison makes the mushroom extremely volatile."

"The Hotel Denouement."

"Theatrical" is a word which here means "related to the theater,"

"Tsuris" means trouble.

"Vegetarian" means there's no meat in it whatsoever.

"Who knows when some slight shock,