Main Content
Dinosaurs - Season 1 "Dinosaurs" is a beloved television show that aired for four seasons from 1991 to 1994. Created by

Dinosaurs - Season 1

"Dinosaurs" is a beloved television show that aired for four seasons from 1991 to 1994. Created by Michael Jacobs and Bob Young, this prehistoric comedy captured the hearts of audiences with its unique blend of humor, wit, and educational value. The show delighted viewers of all ages with its fascinating world, intricate puppetry, and talented cast.

Set in the whimsical town of Pangaea, "Dinosaurs" follows the Sinclair family, a group of anthropomorphic dinosaurs who live in a modern society reminiscent of the 90s. The vast array of characters in this sitcom-like setting brings the prehistoric world to life with relatable, human-esque problems and hilarious situations.

Earl Sinclair, portrayed by the talented Stuart Pankin, takes the lead as the bumbling yet lovable father struggling to balance work and family life. He often finds himself caught between a demanding boss and the chaos of his own home. His wife, Fran Sinclair, played by the talented Jessica Walter, is the nurturing backbone of the family, navigating the humor and challenges of raising their three eccentric dinosaur children.

The Sinclair children each have their own unique personalities that make them relatable and endearing. Robbie Sinclair, voiced by Jason Willinger, is the rebellious and sharp-witted teenager who often challenges the traditional dinosaur ways with his progressive mindset. Charlene Sinclair, portrayed by Sally Struthers, represents the typical teenage girl, concerned with fashion, boys, and fitting in with her peers. Lastly, the youngest member of the family, Baby Sinclair, voices his thoughts and hilarious catchphrases with the iconic line, "Not the mama!" performed by Kevin Clash.

Supporting the Sinclair family are a host of other memorable characters. Earl's blustery boss, Mr. B.P. Richfield, played by Sherman Hemsley, adds many laughs and tense moments to the show. Meanwhile, Ethyl Phillips, voiced by Florence Stanley, Fran's cranky yet caring mother, provides a comical grandparent figure.

What sets "Dinosaurs" apart from other sitcoms is its innovative use of puppetry. The Jim Henson Company, known for their incredible work on "The Muppet Show" and "Sesame Street," brought these lively and expressive dinosaurs to life. The puppetry team, led by Brian Henson, combined skilled performers with advanced animatronics to create characters that were simultaneously realistic and whimsical.

Throughout its four seasons, "Dinosaurs" utilized its platform to comment on social and environmental issues. It tackled topics such as consumerism, environmentalism, and prejudice, delivering important messages in an entertaining and accessible way.

If you're feeling nostalgic or simply curious about this beloved series, you can easily find and enjoy "Dinosaurs - Season 1" by playing or downloading the sounds right here. Relive the hilarious adventures of the Sinclair family as they navigate life, love, and laughter in the prehistoric era.

"Dinosaurs - Season 1" has left a lasting impact on popular culture due to its unique concept, memorable characters, and clever writing. It has become a beloved part of television history, reminding us that family dynamics and valuable life lessons can transcend time itself. So sit back, relax, and immerse yourself in the unforgettable world of "Dinosaurs." Play and download these timeless sounds to experience the joy and laughter this show brings.
153
1,818
A delivery guy just brought this.
A lesser male would have, but not my Earl.
A lifelong friendship is about to end. Isn't that bad?
A meteor three times the size of Earth is heading towards us
A very personal thing
About the virtues of family life, but... Oh, jeez, you're killing me, Fran.
After 20 years of your mother on my back, I get to haul her up
After 27 years of friendship,
After all, Dad, a best friend wouldn't say you had a wussy howl.
After my family spends every cent I've got.
Again, again, again.
Again!
Ah, here's just a little something to help usher you
Ah, pardon me. Is this the Sinclair house?
Ah, thank you. (CLEARS THROAT) Well...
Ah, thanks for the great stuff, Grandma.
Ah, there's my baby girl.
Ah, wrestling. (CHUCKLES)
Ah!
Ah. (CHOKES)
Ahh...
All dinosaurs, upon reaching their... (MUTTERS)
All I do is cook and clean and clean and cook.
All right then, maybe you better just step off my porch.
All right, all right, all right. Look. Here's your life.
All right, all right.
All right, all right. Here's what I'm gonna do.
All right, all right. I forgive you.
All right, all right. I was.
All right, all right. Let's try to get a handle on this.
All right, but I'd like to go on record here.
All right, look, I'm gonna say this one time.
All right, we've mourned long enough.
All right, who is talking to you right now?
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right. What about this?
Although, the moment I heard it, it just made so much sense,
Am I a drudge?
Am not!
And after the howling, we settle our grievances.
And ask Richfield for a raise.
And come after you two? You're playing with fire here!
And created this hurling thing.
And everybody respected me and listened to me...
And express proper gratitude to your mother father!
And finally, in local news, officials at the City Zoo report no luck
And finally, my beloved family.
And girl chat at the produce counter,
And gone. Mama here, Mama gone.
And have you recently seen the size of his teeth?
And helped me.
And how we came out of the forest to get married and have families?
And I believe you know Fran.
And I can give you a full head of long, luxurious horns
And I can't afford to buy my children
And I don't know what it is.
And I don't wanna hear any more out of you.
And I don't wanna hear any more out of you.
And I don't want to hear any silence coming out of this room.
And I get up 16 times in the middle of the night.
And I got to treat you with respect and deference?
And I hate to be critical of other life forms,
And I hope nothing ever happens to change the way we are.
And I ran into the same male in the parking lot.
And I understand that from a nutrition point of view.
And I want you to have this, it's a sea shell necklace
And I want you to think of the tar pit as a wonderful place...
And I was just wondering, while they're here,
And I'm not giving up my TV
And I'm only grateful that I'm not the one who has to do this
And I'm wearing my brand new blue silk Hurling Day tie. Ethyl?
And if a button falls off your shirt, whose problem is that?
And if the Thunder Lizard wants a 90 inch television set,
And in all that time, I never even thought of you as a problem once.
And it don't look good for either one of us.
And it says how much I make.
And it's my job to be a calming influence
And just because you get old doesn't mean you're not my father anymore.
And let no one underestimate the fury
And lived happily ever after.
And living in houses and raising children.
And loving each other, and realizing that the most important thing in the world
And maybe I don't need to because maybe there's nothing in there.
And maybe, just maybe, nothing will ever be the same again.
And no one can take it away from you,
And now for the weather...
And now I'm going to die!
And now the torch has been passed.
And now you're gonna sit at this table and eat that dinner.
And now you're my boss' assistant?
And pick out my eyes? It's a tie. Give me a beer.
And ready to go again like a brand new drudge.
And said, "I want." And Charlene came in and said, "I want."
And so that this tradition remains holy and solemn,
And tell him to stop asking such aggressive questions.
And that is what's important.
And that makes me a grown up? Why?
And that means you save big! Values galore here at Discount Charlie's!
And the little train learned that if you try, and try, and try,
And the wife is female,
And then just left like that? Without coffee?
And this day shall be known as...
And this howling thing...
And this is when you visited me at camp.
And today is, surprise, still a tree pusher.
And we got a dead rhino and 10 tons of potato salad downstairs.
And we're gonna rule the world forever.
And wear something nice.
And well, you know, tonight, up on the hill,
And when she gets back, she'll be relaxed and refreshed
And wonder what things would have been like
And you and Robbie are still angry
And you have no choice but to flatter me in return.
And you have no right to take it away.
And you, lamp...
And you, well, you're a puny nothing.
And you'll be happy to know that you don't have a problem anymore.
And you're not sure whether you can attract another car?
And your lunch can see me.
And, uh, your apology would go, how?
And... And... And then she came down and down, and then, then, uh...
Any parent can forgive the little things, Earl.
Anything new here on the home front?
Anyway, just this morning, I said, "I love you."
Are Robbie's howling gifts. None of these are for you.
Are we really talking about cars here, pally boy?
Are you a happy dinosaur, Earl?
Aren't you worried about what's going to happen to you tomorrow?
As I understand it, she does not know.
As long as you have a family to come home to, well, they're lower.
As usual.
As we felt about Robbie and you.
As you know, I've been challenged.
As you know, the end of the world is upon us,
Ask her to tell you about how useless she is.
Ask me about my day.
At least a part of him you could see. Did you notice his ankle was trembling?
At my age, what do I have to live for?
At the moon bring end to our days on Earth?
At this point, it's feared that Ling Ling is barren.
Attaboy, Mr. Stand up to the boss Sinclair.
Aw, hello, you little sweet thing.
Aw, is that why you wake me up at three o'clock in the morning,
Aw, look at the good boy eating his supper.
Aw, thanks, Frannie.
BABY SINCLAIR: (IMITATES CRYING) I'm crying. That means I'm up.
BABY SINCLAIR: Giddyup, Mommy. Giddyup.
BABY SINCLAIR: I'm up again!
BABY SINCLAIR: Ooh, this is fun.
Baby, this is your daddy.
Baby, upset.
Because Earl Sinclair is fighting for his family.
Because I know you're always saying that breakfast is
Because I'm just a total disgrace to my ancestors.
Because if this is the year 60,000,003, why is next year 60,000,002?
Because if you don't howl, I'll kill you.
Because it's just one weekend.
Because now I realize what's special about being the head of a household.
Because now, without your family, you're wild and untamed and free.
Because of my position and social standing,
Because that's the way my life works.
Because this could happen to any one of us.
Because what?
Because you have unwillingly stumbled into the lair of the Mighty Megalosaurus.
Because you, and your brother, and your sister, were all born dinosaurs.
Because your mother sent out a 150 invitations
Because...
Besides, I'm not even interested in you.
Best thing for you to do is realize that now.
Best thing in the world. You'll thank me.
BIN MONSTER: Give me, give me, give me, give me! (GRUNTS)
BOTH: Night!
BOTH: Weave.
Boy...
Bring on his socks, bring on his shorts, bring on the whole hamper!
Broken, right? I got a broken wife.
But certainly the least miserable years of a generally crummy time I'm having.
But God, I hate lawyers.
But he says he won't set foot in our house again
But I don't give a damn about your day.
But I don't have any kids of my own, so I wanted Robbie
But I take no joy in what I have to do tomorrow.
But I want you to be brave and try to make a life with Gar.
But I want you to know I'm never going to call this new guy "Dad,"
But I was looking for something a little less horrible.
But I was unhappy away.
But if I flee, I'm cast out as a coward for the rest of my days.
But if she takes some time off, then who looks after the kids?
But if you don't howl, terrible things happen.
But living just long enough to see that first vulture swoop down
But maybe you could clear a minute to put a button on this shirt
But most of that fell out of your mouth before you left.
But mostly me.
But none of us are gonna get hurt, Gary's only killing you.
But now I am old. I am slow.
But remember, after tomorrow...
But right now, I'm gonna settle for come as you are tartare.
But Robbie found you, and brought you back.
But take me on, you do. Mano a mano. One on one.
But that's probably the part of me that's gonna get eaten first.
But the moment goes by so quickly, my captain.
But this is for your family now, for your future.
But to tell you the truth, my family is all that listens to me.
But tomorrow I climb up the mountain and yell at the moon,
But tradition gives us one great equalizer...
But you and Dad can still have children?
But you know what I'm curious about?
But, Dad, if you go, who's going to play catch with me?
But, has anybody ever climbed back out of the tar pit,
But, I don't want you to go.
But, sir, I like this company.
But, uh...
But, why didn't you like the real one I did for you upstairs?
By one kid too many,
By the way, uh, this... This... This fellow you met over at the market...
Bye.
Can stand shoulder to shoulder with the highest of the high.
Can stand shoulder to shoulder with the highest of the high.
Can you whip that up, huh?
Can't you talk this out?
Cave man from the zoo.
Cavemen are all the rage with the little ones, right, sweetheart?
Cereal? Come on. Cereal? I want something hot.
Chang Chang, come on in. We've been expecting you.
Change of schedule, Ethyl. We're taking off early.
Charlene, sweetheart, pour me a scotch, will you?
Charlene, there's something very important I have to tell you
Charlene, until now, you've been too young to understand, but I think
Charlene, we feel the same way about this little egg
CHARLENE: Okay.
Chin, chin, chin.
Close your mouth and don't let her provoke you.
Code of the wilderness. Your father's been challenged to fight to the death.
Come here, let your grandma give you five kisses, come on. Come on.
Come here, you sweet thing.
Come on, Earl. You know the right thing to do.
Come on, Mom, you're going to spoil him.
Come on, we're getting out of here.
Come on! Gotta love me.
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Come up with tuna fish, grouper, you name it.
Commands us to obey. But none is as important as the howling.
Compared to walking off a cliff? Falling 10,000 feet,
Congratulations, you're a widow.
Could you make it that guys also get to hurl their mother in laws?
CREATURE 1: No, no, no! Please, please! CREATURE 2: Mine, mine! Mine, mine!
CREATURES: Aw!
Cross eaters, today at 4:00 on Raptile.
CROWD: (ON TV) Wheel of...
Dad said I could.
Dad said she's at Grandma's.
Dad, are you sure? You saw Gary's sock.
Dad, I am begging you to understand I have no potential.
Dad, Mom's wondering what's taking so long.
Daddy dinosaurs and mommy dinosaurs started getting married
Daddy, can't I even say hello
Daddy. Gary!
Delish!
Demand more money. I ain't gonna give it to you.
Did dinner just run out of here through my legs?
Did you and Daddy really want to have another baby, Mom?
Did you put Sinclair's name back on the active roster?
Did you put Sinclair's name back on the active roster?
Dinner ate the vegetables.
DINOSAUR 1: No problem. DINOSAUR 2: He's a great guy.
DINOSAUR 2: Uh, excuse me.
DINOSAUR 3: We love you, big guy.
Do you like this Gary fellow?
Do you want to know about my day?
Does this outfit make me look fat?
Don't act like you haven't noticed.
Don't dream, Sinclair. No dreams for you.
Don't get yourself in an uproar, Chuckles, we were just out for a little walk.
Don't give me any trouble.
Don't you pick that up.
Don't you touch that remote control.
Each dinosaur shall be hurled by a loving relative.
Each month, on the evening of the full moon,
Earl, come here. Let me tell you something.
Earl, hey, hey. Hey, there, pally boy, this is not a time for petty bickering,
Earl, I can't tell you what to do.
Earl, I love you.
Earl, I've made my decision. You're not throwing Mother.
Earl, if I can't have you here with me, I wanna at least know you're safe.
Earl, it's just for the rest of her life. How long can that possibly be?
Earl, it's supposed to be a solemn and holy day.
Earl, listen to me. There's only one thing you can do.
Earl, there's something wrong in my life
Earl, they're selling the most wonderful thing here on TV.
Earl, this is your baby.
Earl, you didn't have to do that.
Earl, you killed us.
Earl, you're being ridiculous.
Earl, you're overreacting.
Earl, you've hurt my feelings and embarrassed me in front of my lunch.
EARL: (SLEEPILY) Why? FRAN: Because if you don't feed it,
EARL: ♪ Daddy, daddy, dancing, dancing ♪
EARL: All right. FRAN: Come on, Earl. You get up for once.
EARL: Fran, I don't think I'm winning.
EARL: Hmm, hmm.
EARL: How many other kids we got? FRAN: Two.
EARL: I could've made it out here. FRAN: Of course, dear.
EARL: Mm, whatever, my sweet.
EARL: Oh, that's nice.
EARL: Oh, well, thank you, sir.
EARL: Oh.
EARL: Ooh!
EARL: Rise and shine, Ethyl. Rise and shine!
EARL: So, Roy, you really think the boss would give me a raise?
EARL: So... (SIGHS) What's for dessert? FRAN: Chocolate hippo cake at home.
EARL: The kid will get it. That's why you have kids.
EARL: There are many customs which The Sacred Book Of Dinosaur
EARL: Uh, how you doing there, Mr. Richfield? Sir?
EARL: We've been doing it for a million years.
EARL: Well, right away I see my barbecue apron is missing.
EARL: What? ROBBIE: Huh?
EARL: Where have you been?
EARL: You ever come near my house again, I'll feed you to my family.
Earl! Get your head out of his mouth, right now!
Earl?
Earl?
Earl? Do you want some mint jelly with your squid cakes?
Earl? Where have you been?
Easy, honey, I think we won.
Eat all you want. You'll be worth the hernia. (CHUCKLES)
Endangering my brethren, and making us late for everything.
ETHYL: Oh. EARL: Hmm, yeah.
ETHYL: Robert, stop this. It's dangerous out this early in the morning.
Ethyl! I'm throwing her.
Ethyl?
Ethyl? Ethyl?
Ethyl.
Even if he wins me over with gifts, and cash, and a phone in my room.
Every male dinosaur who has come of age climbs to the top of the mountain
Every one of 'em's got plans. Who'd have guessed it?
Everybody listens to you, right?
Everybody, you know my son, Robbie.
Everything's all right.
Everything's hungry.
Exactly the same price as a 90 inch television, Fran.
Except not with this company.
Family's one of civilization's worst ideas.
Fill my belly!
For a long time now.
For reasons too complicated to explain, I've chosen not to fight.
For the rest of my life.
For this birthday dinner. "Goodbye," "Good luck,"
Forget about me. Hide yourself.
Forget it. You don't do the mating dance for a 38 year old mother of three.
Four hours before she got hurled.
Fran made a new friend in the squid aisle.
Fran, dear, I'm merely stating my position.
Fran, I'm home, I'm hungry, and I hate everything
Fran, I'm home. I'm hungry. (GROANS)
Fran, I'm not letting your mother move into my house
Fran, if you love me, throw me in.
Fran, put the knife down.
FRAN: Dinner? Would anyone like dinner?
FRAN: Good night, Mother. CHARLENE: Good night, Grandma.
FRAN: I mean, since we're domesticated now,
FRAN: Is there anything I can get for you?
Fran!
Fran?
Fran's like...
Frances, I'm done raising the kids. They're 12 and 14. They're done.
Frances, nothing that happened in your little day
Frannie, I know your days are awful full, what with your bon bon lunches
Frannie?
Frannie.
Friday, he'll be here Friday, and then forever.
Friday?
Friday...
From my place in the food chain.
From time immemorial, dinosaurs have known there's only one way to a woman's heart.
Gary arrives at six o'clock, and I'm dead by 6:03.
Gary, I want you to know something right away.
GARY: He looks kind of short and dumpy from up here.
GARY: Hi, Fran. Gosh, you look gorgeous.
GARY: Look, I have an appointment with Earl Sinclair.
GARY: Nineteen years. You must be made of steel.
GARY: Well, yeah, nice meeting you all. Certainly been a pleasure
Gary?
Gary.
Gary. Daddy.
Gary...
Gee, Daddy, just when you've almost got Robbie and me out of the house,
Gee, I don't know where my apology should begin.
Gee, that's nice of them.
Genuine mother in law pterodactyl skin hurling gloves!
Getting married, having a wife and kids, and not eating them?
Giddyup. Faster. Faster!
Gimme.
Give it. Give it, Mommy...
God, I love being a dinosaur!
Going to school concept doesn't work and isn't gonna last, okay?
Good. 'Cause I want an apology for that Turtlehead remark.
Goodbye, banister.
Goodbye, my trusty timekeeper.
Goodbye, staircase.
Grandma, I don't want you to go in the tar tomorrow.
Grandma, just tell him you don't want to go.
Grandma, what's this worth to you?
Guys, guys, our buddy Earl is in trouble here.
Guys, you know, times like this, a guy feels very close to his buddies.
Ha!
Hand me my jammies, Fran.
Has any impact on how I'm gonna live the rest of my life.
Has thrown out conventional wisdom right out the window.
Have not yet produced offspring.
Have you been using those eight track tapes I got you?
He could stick his head in the water,
He helped carry my cart.
He helped me chisel off some frozen squid.
He needs our help.
He says he's coming Friday to crush Earl,
He sent some of his laundry so I can get a head start.
He wants to return all the stuff he borrowed from you over the years,
He was a short, delicate, little wisp of a thing, perhaps?
He's been carrying this burden all by himself.
He's gonna get a 90 inch television set. So, what do you have to say about that?
He's the only male I ever will love.
He's the only male I've ever loved, and no matter what happens here today,
Hello, Earl.
Hello, family and Ethyl.
Hello!
Hello?
Hello. Roy?
Here you go, ace. Listen, next time you might wanna turn the oven on.
Here's five dollars.
Here's my report card. I'll see you around the swamp.
Hey, could we get Connie DeSalvo? 'Cause I could be motivated
Hey, Dad.
Hey, Dad.
Hey, guys, Grandma's in the paper.
Hey, hey, Earl, we just want you to know,
Hey, hey, look at this. Roy, Roy, look. Hey, buddy, take a look at these beauties.
Hey, hey, that's our wife you're talking about.
Hey, hey, you don't think I'm gonna let go of this table
Hey, I've lived a long life. I've earned this.
Hey, lady, you might want to see this.
Hey, listen, Dad, I had a late lunch. I'll see you later, okay?
Hey, Mom. Did you make breakfast?
Hey, my little howler is nervous? Come here.
Hey, there's my little guy. Want to give Daddy a kiss?
Hey, this book's been around a million years and you've been around,
Hey, uh, Dad, when's Mom coming back from Grandma's?
Hey, uh... Hey, Roy, there's something I got to ask you.
Hey, weekend guy. You think you got what it takes...
Hey, what am I looking for, a bed?
Hey, what are you doing?
Hey, what is this, cotton bond?
Hey, what the heck is this?
Hey, whoa!
Hey, you don't like the way I dress?
Hey, you give me that back, or I'll kill you.
Hey, you in the door. How can I help you?
Hey! Frozen dinner. Oh, that's great!
Hey! You're my pal, pally boy. I'd never desert you in your hour of need.
Hey. Listen, all that stuff you borrowed...
Hi, honey.
Hi, I'm Spike Sterling, president of the Horn Club for Males.
Hi! I'm the baby. Brand new. Just out. Gotta love me.
His foot?
His laundry? He thinks your gonna do his sock?
His name was Gary.
Hmm
Hmm, Friday. I got a Yahtzee tournament.
Hmm? I guess I could look after my kids for a couple of days.
Hmm.
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
Honey, I'm home!
Honey, I'm home!
Honey, I'm home.
Honey, I'm home.
Honey, I'm home.
How about you, Roy?
How could wild dinosaurs get any sleep out here?
How do I look, huh?
How in the hell could this have happened?
How many of these feet does he have?
How much could a tutor cost?
How should I know, Fran? Nobody ever died of getting old before.
How was your day?
How you doing?
However, in cases like this, there is an escape clause.
Huh! Look. See, Dad, the world didn't come to an end
Huh?
Huh?
Huh? Hey!
Huh? I'll talk to your kid any way I want.
Hunched over, uh, and feeble?
Hurling Day.
Hurling Day.
Hurling's been around a million years. I've been around 14 years.
I always dreamed I'd go somewhere with this company.
I am asking for peace for one night.
I am not going to miss out on this
I am so hungry.
I am the guardian and protector of this family.
I can do better. I got to work on my follow through.
I can no longer keep up with the herd.
I can only commit to things that make sense to me.
I can say whatever I want to you,
I can't afford to get my wife a present,
I can't commit to it because I don't get it.
I can’t wait to bite your husband's head off.
I come home to a frozen dinner on today of all days.
I could've overlooked certain things, but unfortunately it didn't.
I did it gradually, and no one even noticed.
I did not. You called me.
I do not want you to open your mouth.
I don't get what the big deal is. We all have our parts to play.
I don't have to. I got her. She's in the house.
I don't know what the problem is. She's been upset
I don't know where my family went.
I don't know why I believe in it, I just do.
I don't know why, I mean, it had wheels. But still, it was very considerate.
I don't know, Dad. I just don't see it.
I don't know, who does that now?
I don't want to single any one of you out.
I figure whatever they're going to be, they're it.
I forget how.
I gave you a whole weekend off, from the kids and now you're fixed.
I gotta get to work.
I gotta squeeze the life out of every second I got left.
I hate to be critical, but I'm gonna have to agree, and let me tell you,
I have a family, Mr. Richfield.
I have earned this, this is mine. I am never gonna leave.
I have lived long and witnessed many wonders.
I have no idea.
I haven't had any sleep since the night you were hatched.
I howl because I believe in it.
I just can't help wondering
I just want to say I'm sorry.
I just wish you had... Horns.
I know how mad I get when I don't get my messages.
I know they just crawled out of the sludge,
I know where you went.
I know, I know you're right.
I learned it all over again just for you.
I liked that one 20 years ago.
I love being up with the Mama.
I love Earl.
I love Earl. I can't imagine living without Earl.
I love you?
I made Clydesdale pancakes. Hurry on down.
I mean, any thoughts in these final hours?
I mean, I almost threw her past the tar pit entirely.
I mean, what does this have to do with my life?
I met the nicest male in the invertebrate aisle.
I quit?
I remember when I was embarrassed by my father.
I said I'm sorry.
I slaved over a hot oven making a nice dinner for you kids
I straggle behind, attracting predators,
I take a look at all of us,
I think I am, Fran.
I thought Grandpa went on a cruise.
I thought that barbecue apron was a gift.
I thought there might be the matter of, uh, severance pay.
I want us to spend them being together
I want, uh, two waffles with an animal in the middle.
I wanted to work out my plan first.
I was hoping to avoid a slow, lingering death if possible.
I went back to the forest to see if we were right.
I won't, Woodrow.
I would just for once like to have some money in my pocket
I wouldn't howl with him if he was the last dinosaur on Earth.
I wouldn't need a family.
I, myself do it three, four times a week.
I, uh... I've been giving this a lot of thought, and...
I'd ask you to return all of the food you've eaten here,
I'll have some for breakfast, put the rest in the lunch box. I'm covered.
I'll just end up looking like a little stunted anthropod.
I'll just run over an antelope on my way to work,
I'm 43 years old. I haven't been to Europe.
I'm about to get dismembered in my own living room.
I'm alone in here.
I'm an old dinosaur.
I'm chuckling at its complete lack of anything. (CHUCKLES)
I'm expecting an important package this afternoon.
I'm going to be in my 60s before I get my life back.
I'm going to be very disappointed if this world ends
I'm going to miss you, Fran. I really am.
I'm gonna bite you now.
I'm gonna blow up! Oh, I'm gonna blow!
I'm gonna do this all night.
I'm here for the 29.95 refresher course.
I'm just a regular tree pusher, and he's executive supervisor.
I'm looking forward to it, dear. I miss my Louie.
I'm not cleaning anything up.
I'm pretty sure killing Dad is wrong.
I'm saved! Oh!
I'm so excited, I feel like a schoolgirl.
I'm so glad I'm a girl, huh. La la.
I'm so happy.
I'm sorry, Daddy. I'll set the table.
I'm the breadwinner and she's the drudge. Where's the problem?
I'm the father
I'm the, uh, Mighty, uh, whatever.
I'm throwing her, Fran.
I'm throwing her. I married you so I could throw her.
I'm too tired to eat. There's no ketchup. There's no beverage.
I'm turning into a drudge. Earl...
I've been asking you to put on since last night.
I've been out taking care of your problem, Fran.
I've been up since 3:30 this morning, and the baby wouldn't stop crying.
I've got early practice for the game against Mesopotamia.
I've got to experience every moment to the fullest,
I've outlasted actual mamas.
If all of us stick together then none of us has to get hurt.
If he had traveled a different road, but you know what?
If I lose this, Robbie, then my life means nothing.
If it's all the same to you, Fran, I'd like to catch about 40 winks.
If you love me, you'll get them for me.
If you thought at all, you would have realized that this is my life,
In a collision course that will result
In a cute little dancing caveman motif?
In fact, my main course last night was supposed to be you stew.
In my 60s, Fran.
In my day it was a solemn occasion.
In the extinction of all life on this planet.
In the heart of the seedy part of town. (CHUCKLES)
In the meantime, there seems to be no end in sight
In The Sacred Book Of Dinosaur.
In these, our last precious moments.
In trying to mate Ling Ling and Chang Chang,
Indulge me, Fran. What am I saving it for?
Is anybody here got a problem with him?
Is being a family.
Is connected to last night's missed howling.
Is create a mood here.
Is your father coming?
Isn't it wonderful, the world not ending and all?
Isn't that what they always tell the children?
Isn't throwing Grandma off a cliff just a waste of a perfectly good old lady?
It better be, because tomorrow's your day, Sinclair,
It is time for her to move on.
It isn't often I get to see the sentimental side of you, Earl.
It made me feel so bad, it was all I could do
It used to be that old dinosaurs couldn't hunt.
It was a gift for a friend, so I want it back from you.
It was a wild night. Don't ask.
It would kill your father, dear.
It'll die.
It's a beautiful thing you do.
It's a miracle, they tell me. So, I got to let her move in.
It's a place you go to be out of this house.
It's a time honored tradition
It's called Lust in the Swamp.
It's cheap. You'd think, on this, the most important night of my son's life,
It's Gary's sock. He thinks I'm going to do his laundry.
It's hard to believe he's going up the hill tonight.
It's me.
It's not candy.
It's not flowers.
It's not the kids.
It's only natural in a dinosaur's life to go off alone one day
It's refreshing to meet a genuinely nice dinosaur once in a while.
It's the Grandma!
It's the middle of the night.
It's the one his dad gave to him on his howling day.
It's the only one you're ever going to get.
It's these big things to test us.
It's three o'clock in the morning.
It's too much for her. She needs some time off.
Jeez, Ethyl, you mean it, that you're sorry?
Jeez, it's cold!
Jeez! (SIGHS)
Junior, when you're all grown up, and I'm just a photo in a frame,
Just alone out here in the cold.
Just because he's not working up to his potential.
Just come out with your hands up and offer me your meaty portions
Just get your open mouth out of my line of vision.
Just push the chair, fat boy.
Just standing there looking at me.
Just to be with me?
Kick. Neck. Neck.
Let me introduce you to your new family.
Let's go, old lady, we're going over the cliff right now!
Let's see how Marilyn,
Let's see. Pressure points. Pressure points.
Let's try, uh, a bob dip.
Listen, Fran, Earl, I just had a thought.
Look at here, I got you a book.
Look at your father. Say hello to the big loser.
Look, Earl. I've known you 27 years. That's longer than Fran's known you.
Look, Fran, I say this with all love and everything,
Look, I didn't understand it before,
Look, I'm just having a hard time with numbers and dates.
Look, it's not fair I just get handed over to some new guy.
Look, just eat me and get it over with, will you?
Look, look. He fell asleep.
Look, tell me what I say to her when she comes over
Look, you're a room full of guys, and the problem's with the wife.
Looks like you're just going to have to stop thinking
Loser!
Ma, is it me, or is Daddy in, like, a really bad mood?
Ma, Ma, listen, there's this big kid at school who's been bothering me
MALE VOICE: (ON TAPE) Congratulations.
MALE VOICE: (ON TAPE) Howling at the Moon.
MALE VOICE: (ON TV) ...and many wonder if this rash of incidents
MAN: (ON TV) Show us what's coming up next?
MAN: (ON TV) The Antediluvian Broadcasting Company now begins its broadcast day.
MAN: We need three men!
MAN: Well, Arlene, we've got 700,000 left.
MARILYN: Ooh! I could spend the rest of my life with you.
Mary Ellen Sworkinson's daughter married a podiatrist
May have had our differences for the past 20 years,
Maybe 6:05 if I can hold the bathroom door closed.
Maybe a guy your size could beat a rampaging 50 foot Dilophosaurus.
Maybe I'm not ready to settle down.
Maybe I've just got a different perspective
Maybe it's to keep her.
Maybe the way we treat our old dinosaurs is wrong.
Maybe we should consider hiring Robbie a tutor.
Maybe we should look at this as a new beginning.
Maybe you ask too many questions?
Maybe you could not be.
Maybe, it's better to keep them than throw them away.
Mel Luster. Since 72 million B.C. Always the same location,
Mel Luster's Mating Dance Academy has the steps for you.
MEL: (ON TV) Hey, guys,
MEL: How old are you? EARL: Uh, 28.
MEL: Weave. BOTH: Turn.
MEL: Yeah! (LAUGHS)
Mel...
Mine. All mine.
Mmm.
Mom, it used to be that old dinosaurs slowed down the pack.
More, please.
Mother, children stories.
Mother, how can you talk like this?
Mother, you look terrific!
Move along, little Mommy.
Move along, move along.
Move over!
My baby's grown up. She's ashamed of me.
My friends could do a little better than a lousy pen and pencil set.
My home, my family,
My house is the only place in the world where I'm the boss.
My point is, we gotta get organized.
My, it's sad how the memories fade.
My... My flashlight went out. I think the batteries are dead.
Nah. Nah.
NARRATOR ON TV: Hilarious Hijinks with that talking caveman,
NARRATOR ON TV: Today at 4:00.
Nervous breakdown, carried off by predators? What?
NEWS ANCHOR: Come here, I'll bite your little leg off.
NEWS ANCHOR: It's going to get colder. And colder and colder...
Next time for sure, huh?
Next!
Nice hang time, pally boy.
Nice stationery.
No concept of time. Wide awake. Let's dance!
No family, here all day and night, nowhere else to go.
No matter how low you are in this world,
No more of this for me. Tomorrow I go back to work,
No one really knows, son, but we'll all find out when our time comes.
No, Gary's not here yet.
No, he must have been at least 50 feet high.
No, he was quite tall.
No, he's still saying goodbye to his shoetree.
No, I didn't. But I'd be happy to say so in front of the neighbors.
No, I'm not.
No, it's not.
No, no, no, Fran. Don't explode.
No, no, no. First we all howl, then we all talk.
No, son. Once you're in, you're in. Come on, give me another mother in law.
No, the feelings are just pouring out because you picked me.
No, they don't. The world didn't come to an end.
No, you choose, but pick the one where I don't hear anything snap.
No, your father just gets cranky like this before howling.
No. I have had a report from my new assistant.
No. I have had a report from my new assistant.
No. I'm not letting them throw you in the tar pit, Grandma.
No. I'm playing with fire.
No. That's tomorrow.
Nobody, but I was hoping we could start.
Not the Mama, not the Mama, not the Mama,
Not the Mama, not the Mama.
Not the Mama, not the Mama.
Not the Mama! Not the Mama! Not the Mama!
Not true.
Nothing's gonna happen.
Now do you see why old dinosaurs go into the tar?
Now strictly speaking, I'm not qualified to serve as counsel.
Now two for a dollar! So, come on down! We're dealing like there's no tomorrow!
Now we have supermarkets.
Now we live in houses.
Now you really must, must go to sleep.
Now, Fran, make sense. There's only here and away.
Now, here's Dwayne with sports.
Now, I got a wife who's unhappy about something.
Now, I like this dance, where you got up out of bed in the middle of the night
Now, I think you should think about this long and hard.
Now, listen, Ugh,
Now, she's depending on you to throw her in that nice section of the tar pit
Now, some idiot knocked over these trees. I know my insurance doesn't cover that.
Now, try again, with more expression.
Now, why don't we try not howling one time?
Now, you could do what's right in your time and go down in history.
Now, you get a nice embossed letter.
Now, you kids close your eyes,
Now, you two best friends for 27 years got anything you wanna say to each other?
Now, you want to make dinner conversation?
Obviously, you forget what today is, Fran.
Of a determined Megalosaurus who is not afraid to stand alone.
Of course that doesn't apply here, but you get the gist.
Of course, your kind rules the world, so you wouldn't understand.
Of the swamp with a guy who was a tree pusher 20 years ago,
Of throwing Grandma off the cliff.
Of your father and me as a couple of old dinosaurs, huh?
Off, on.
Off.
Off. On.
Oh my goodness, the whole day's gone.
Oh, a letter I wrote you.
Oh, and Junior...
Oh, and you, my lint brush...
Oh, anything, my princess.
Oh, boy.
Oh, Bruno's in the car! Oh! How do I look?
Oh, come on, honey, you know I'd buy you the moon.
Oh, Earl...
Oh, Fran, it seems so wrong to give up my whole family on account of one sock.
Oh, Fran... Tell me the truth.
Oh, God, 12 hours left.
Oh, God!
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God. Who am I kidding?
Oh, good.
Oh, great, great, great! Throw it to me with 30 seconds left.
Oh, hello, Roy.
Oh, hi! How you doing? How you doing? How you doing?
Oh, I can't believe Earl didn't mention this.
Oh, I don't, not gonna let it bother me. I got a family that loves me,
Oh, I get it. Just like the Galleria.
Oh, I would appreciate that, sir.
Oh, I, uh, I just couldn't leave you, Grandma. I couldn't do it.
Oh, I'm gonna blow! Clear!
Oh, I'm visibly moved. Pally boy, this is such an honor
Oh, it's adorable.
Oh, it's from that nice fellow Gary I met at the market.
Oh, it's very fulfilling.
Oh, jeez! Aw!
Oh, jeez. Son, I would have liked that.
Oh, let me just sit down and die,
Oh, look at him talking with his mouth full again.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my little girl's embarrassed by her father.
Oh, oh, I'm stuck in the door again.
Oh, oh, oh, I'm having an anxiety attack here, Fran.
Oh, oh, oh, not that I'm saying anything bad
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, the TV.
Oh, okay. Halt! Who goes there?
Oh, thank you, sweetheart. I had my scales done for the occasion.
Oh, thanks, Grandma.
Oh, the baby want to come out soon?
Oh, there you were, pushing your cart seductively down the aisle,
Oh, this is... This is so inspiring.
Oh, this stinks!
Oh, uh, me? Well, I'm...
Oh, well, I don't... I don't normally talk to Mr. Richfield.
Oh, well, if you plan on eating me, please, go ahead.
Oh, well, sorry to lose you, Sinclair. All these years.
Oh, well, uh, that's awfully sporting of you there, uh...
Oh, well.
Oh, wow. One hundred dollars.
Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll do what I can, as long as she agrees to sink quickly.
Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah? I can howl you under the table
Oh, you had a tough night with junior?
Oh! (GROANS)
Oh! Listen!
Oh! Oh, and I have another one.
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Snatch me bald headed!
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Are you dead?
Oh. Oh!
Oh. Stomach growling. Pressure. I'm gonna blow up!
Okay, all right, I'll take a message.
Okay, Ethyl, I wrote this speech.
Okay, see you at work.
Okay, this is it. The wilderness of my ancestors,
Okay, we'll move the meeting to Mindy's house.
Okay? And this is...
Okay.
Okay. Let's think.
Okay. Now, if it's not the kids...
Okay. Now, these are our last few hours on Earth.
Old Gary there is gonna have to think twice before he kills the next guy.
On.
Once upon a time, dinosaurs didn't have families.
One day, regardless of our station in life, when the lowest of the low
One more day till I throw your mother over the cliff and into the pit.
Only if it's fattening.
Ooh, I'm telling you, you're playing with fire!
Ooh! More $4 pen and pencil sets?
Ooh! This for me.
Ooh.
Open the tunnel. Choo choo.
Or an old married guy with a wife who's overwhelmed
Or any of your other insulting rites of passage.
Or I would've!
Or one day you'll require a lot of therapy.
Or you could have the momentary satisfaction
Or you could slowly poison him over the next few years.
Or you want me to feed you to a pterodactyl?
Ow!
Ow! I knew it.
Ow! I knew it.
Perfect executive material.
Please let the old lady be all right.
Please, please, don't take this away from me!
Please, please. Mommy needs some sleep.
Potential.
Pots and pans. To cook your dinner with. Dinner for you.
Quiet, you!
Quiet, you!
REFRIGERATOR MONSTER: (BURBLES) Get back. Back, back!
Remember I told you that dinosaurs used to live in the forest,
Right behind you.
Right there.
Right, got it. All right, I'll tell him.
Robbie, darling, I've done everything there is to do in this life.
Robbie, would you please go look after your brother?
Robbie, you're breaking my concentration.
ROBBIE: "Only by howling do we defeat the dark spirit
ROBBIE: Dad, we gotta talk about this
ROBBIE: Well, who wrote it there? EARL: Some sacred guy.
ROBBIE: Why? EARL: It is written
ROBBIE: Why? EARL: Why what?
Robbie! Charlene! Get your tails in here! This is your father talking!
Robbie's gonna need someone special to present him at his first howling.
Roy, if you bite my husband's head off...
ROY: Fine! EARL: Fine!
ROY: Hang on! Wait! Wait a second! Wait! EARL: Oh, Robbie!
ROY: Hmm. Maybe I should get one.
ROY: Oh, yeah!
ROY: Where's the moon? Where did it go?
ROY: Yeah, then I won't! EARL: Good!
ROY: Yeah. You gave this company the best years of your life.
Says here you don't apply yourself. Says here you've got potential.
See ya.
Seeing as how it's in my own self interest.
Seems like only yesterday little Robbie shed his first skin. (LAUGHS)
She bounced!
She has to live in a cold, drafty hole in the wrong side
She provokes me.
She went into the tar a happy dinosaur, hurled by a professional.
She's all yours, Earl.
She's going to be reunited with Grandpa Louie.
She's had a hard day, what with being widowed and all.
She's just an old dinosaur, Fran. She's just gonna be in the way.
She's lived her life. She has laid her eggs,
She's only old because she's lived a long time.
Shh! Look!
Since I tossed Mother Wilkerson into the goo.
Sinclair, I am a great and powerful dinosaur,
Slow down. I want to fix my face for my Louie.
Small price to pay for the freedom to do whatever I want.
So I want you to go away.
So much remains unsaid.
So then, you'll leave?
So, Dad, what do you think it's like in the tar, anyway?
So, I can hardly believe I'm going to do this.
So, I guess I'm going to have to take your little ultimatum seriously, aren't I?
So, I'm gonna ask you. You want a raise, or what?
So, I've come for my beach thongs and that ball peen hammer you borrowed.
So, if I stay, I die in big embarrassing pieces.
So, is the hat too much?
So, maybe what you've got is a male/female problem.
So, Mom, stop me if I'm being, like, insensitive or anything,
So, savor the moment, Sinclair.
So, uh, what do you think really happened to Mom?
So, what do you do if your car's broken?
So, whatever you do, don't open it.
So, where does he want to meet?
So, who's going to be there Friday?
So, why don't you just devour me, and let's call it a night.
So, you brought about the end of everything. So what?
So, you got no alternative but to look me in the eye and say...
So, you've either gotta be the most dedicated father in the world...
Solemnly and with dignity, of course.
Some old dinosaur did what was right in his time
Something I no longer feel I can be without it.
SPIKE STERLING: Oh, that hurt.
Stan, yeah, uh huh. Brunch Sunday.
Started by a wise old dinosaur named Bob LaBrea.
Still blissfully ignorant of her father's terrible fate.
Still the daddy! Still the daddy! Still the daddy!
Such enormous possibilities, as long as there's nothing in there.
Sure, why not?
Sweetheart, trust me, you're trading up.
Sweetheart, what do you think about doing the walls of the baby's room
Swinging that tail for the whole world to see.
Take me home, dear.
Take me home, dear.
Take the house and kids, and make me his loving bride.
Terror has a new name...
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you. You're right, Ethyl.
Thanks.
That better be breakfast.
That I should actually want to spend my money on something for me,
That is starting to bother me.
That look on her face as she spiraled out of sight,
That my sweet, old dad told me just before I went up the hill.
That was just a baby dance.
That you have the legal right to run away like a scared bunny.
That's a cheap motivational ploy. What, you don't see through that?
That's a keen and brilliant observation, sir.
That's all I ever do.
That's Fran's mastodon surprise. Out here in the wilderness!
That's guts ball, Sinclair. I like a guy who plays guts ball!
That's so romantic.
That's sweet.
That's the best mating dance I've ever seen.
That's the truth.
That's the way you came into this world, and someday, it will all belong to you
The batteries are always the first to go.
The book says, "Dinosaur will turn against dinosaur,
The code of the wilderness clearly states
The kids made you unhappy,
The king of the dinosaurs! The Thunder Lizard!
The king of the whole house!
The Mama.
The mating dance is a courtship ritual. You do it to woo and win.
The most important meal of the day.
The right thing to do.
The rocks are my pillows, and my blanket is the freezing air.
The things that I'd like to.
The two rare imported humans.
The Tyrannosaurus rex is king of the dinosaurs.
The ultimate expression of a male's absolute commitment to a female.
The way I see it, you don't need more money. You need less family!
Then why do I have to pay for your family?
Then you'll want this beautiful 32 piece cookware set
There is no position.
There is? What is it?
There it is! Here. "Ethyl Phillips, wife of blah, blah, blah,
There she goes!
There used to be a tree here, and I lived in it with my family.
There were clouds in front of his face.
There.
There's no safe place for me anymore in this world.
There's nothing in here. There's no dinner, there's no vegetables.
There's nothing really forcing us to hurl Mother, is there?
There's something I want. It's unbelievable
Therefore, I wish to be hurled from the highest cliff into a tar pit.
These are the moments a father lives for. I built this family. I raised you kids.
These old babies have thrown a lot of old ladies.
They all do, every month. It's pre howling syndrome... P.H.S.
They both have their advantages.
They get you fired from the only thing you were ever good at.
They lived in the woods and ate their children,
They've got these new pots and pans with creature screens.
This afternoon on Mr. Ugh.
This egg isn't a dud. It happens. It happens all the time.
This is it. My final day of life. The last time I gaze on my alarm clock.
This is me.
This is my moment. This is the time when the lowest of the low
This is new, experimental stuff.
This is nuts!
This is the kids.
This is without historical precedent.
This isn't the dark ages, this is 60 million B.C.
This just in...
This new thing with dinosaurs getting married and settling down
This time, we'll read one of my books.
Those who knew me will lift a glass and say,
To back up his threat.
To have the pen and pencil set my dad gave me on my howling day.
To leave the house and come down to the bar.
To open up and swallow us.
To say what it was like in there?
To spend the rest of her days making my life miserable.
To the top of the mountain and fling her bony butt to oblivion.
To the violence and general crankiness among males.
Today, I, your eldest elder, am...
Today's a day of saying, "Yippie, yippie!"
Today's the last day of the rest of your life.
Tomorrow you're going out there for all of us.
Tonight is a very special night for a young dinosaur I've known
Tree pushers get $4 an hour.
Twelve hours and she's out of your life forever.
Twenty eight hours at 350?
Twenty years you work here, I never would've figured
Uh, all right. I'll just go with the plaid.
Uh, but it just doesn't make sense, Dad. Today I'm just a kid,
Uh, Dad, when Grandma goes into the tar pit,
Uh, Daddy...
Uh, door.
Uh, except today. I don't have time for breakfast.
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Richfield.
Uh, here, you can read it on the way down.
Uh, here.
Uh, just a thought. (GRUNTS)
Uh, look, I had to call you up here. You have to howl.
Uh, Mom, could I talk to you for a second?
Uh, no, no. Of course not. I rule the world.
Uh, pursuant to the matter of severing me from my job,
Uh, see that? That's you on your Grandpa Louie's back,
Uh, so, this won't be a total loss,
Uh, thank you. Thank you ever so... Uh, Mr... Goodbye.
Uh, yeah.
Uh, yes, sir.
Uh, you kick it and you leave it by the side of the road.
Uh, you've had a change of heart, my captain?
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
Uh... (HOWLING WEAKLY)
Uh... (SLURPS)
Uh... Or not.
Uh... Uh, Frannie?
Ultimately, you have to choose what you think is right.
Um...
Uneventful, which is always good.
Up we go, there!
Very good.
Waffles.
Wait a minute, Dad. You don't have to take down this guy alone.
Walk, walk, walk... Hey, wait a minute.
Want to make more of an impression with the ladies?
Was that dinner?
Was that dinner?
Watch your toes, son.
We always understood each other.
We can fight him together. Boom! Pow!
We could learn from her.
We didn't have all this fanfare and rhinoceros.
We gave it some thought, and we solved it.
We had three duds before we had Charlene.
We should go to sleep.
We use what we have.
We're gonna get you into such good shape,
We're married a good long time now, and we just had a new kid.
We're open all night, because let's face it,
We've been doing it that way for a million years.
Weave. Weave, turn...
Wee! (GRUNTS)
Well pally boy, just be glad you're living during the apex civilization.
Well, a guy comes in here, puts a gun to my head...
Well, basically, you're entitled to escape from his claws.
Well, can it wait? Because I have to ask you a favor.
Well, Earl, if the world had ended last night,
Well, Earl, maybe you can win.
Well, from down here, he looks just fine,
Well, have you held it up to the light yet?
Well, he is the one who called me up here.
Well, he's never coming back.
Well, how do you feel, Mother?
Well, how's my favorite married couple?
Well, I always felt I was an herbivore trapped in a carnivore's body.
Well, I didn't actually raise you but I watched with interest.
Well, I had a rather interesting day.
Well, I have to admit it's not actually my idea,
Well, I just hope that when my turn comes to go into the tar,
Well, I need a raise.
Well, I used to live here, right on this spot.
Well, I, uh...
Well, I'm bored out of my mind.
Well, I've got some friends coming over this afternoon.
Well, it says right here, "Only by the howling
Well, lookie here. A pen and pencil set from my oldest and dearest friend.
Well, maybe the mating dance isn't just to get her.
Well, not on slow mo. (LAUGHS)
Well, now, isn't this the choice you made, pally boy?
Well, obviously, you do, since you're ready to quit your job for them.
Well, some dinosaurs wondered if they were doing the right thing.
Well, that just may be, Earl,
Well, that used to be me.
Well, then I guess my life means nothing, Dad.
Well, then one day, not very long ago,
Well, then you better march yourself into that trailer
Well, uh,
Well, uh, I got a wife and a family.
Well, uh... I'd have to say that it's dark, it's peaceful, it's quiet.
Well, we can't broil it...
Well, we did it.
Well, we're in uncharted territory now, pally boy.
Well, we're open all night.
Well, what about the rest of you guys? You know Earl.
Well, what does Fran think about all of this?
Well, your career is taking off.
Well.
What a day. (SIGHS)
What a wonderful, highly original, well thought out gift.
What a world.
What are you saying?
What day is this?
What do you say we start cleaning out his closets?
What I'm trying to say is that life holds
What if you're kind of used to your car...
What moment exactly?
What puts you in a position to come in here with your slate of demands?
What should I wear?
What would be the big deal if nobody threw Grandma into the tar pit?
What, 15 years? Guess who wins.
What?
What? Let me see. Give it here, Robbie.
What? What?
What... What are you doing, Daddy?
What's that all about?
What's that, dear?
What's the matter, sweetheart? Not tired?
When else are you gonna come here?
When she's recuperated from you. Until then, I'm the mother.
When the time comes, I'm not throwing you.
When was the last time you did the mating dance for your wife?
Where are we going? (LAUGHING)
Where did this idea come from originally?
Where I have to spend all my money on nothing I get?
Where my spirit belongs and my soul longs to be.
Where there's shade, next to her old friends, the Rosenfelds.
Where you came up with this interesting notion.
Where's the Mama? Got to have the Mama.
Whether you're a beginner wanting to learn your first steps for after the prom,
Which effectively pretty much covers your allotted life span.
Which is a lot more than I can say about you,
While we huddle together hopelessly in the dark
Who's gonna take me fishing?
Whoa oh. Lots of feet. Can't get up! (GRUNTING)
Whoa, hey. We're gonna walk. We're gonna do the tour.
Whoa, sack time.
Whoa, the Mama, out of nowhere, asking all kinds of questions.
Whoa! I'm naked. Who's the mama? Where's the mama?
Whoa. Daddy's dancing.
Whoa. Uh oh. Uh oh.
Why aren't you out there knocking down trees?
Why counting backwards? What are we waiting for?
Why does my life have to be like this?
Why doesn't somebody ask me how I feel?
Why don't you sleep?
Why is the right thing to do always the one
Why is there no dinner on the table, Fran?
Why shouldn't a male be interested?
Will you even remember the special bond we had?
Will you forget about the stationery?
With young Robbie boy going up the hill tonight.
Without fiber in your diet, you can try until you're blue in the face.
Without him getting all uppity about it.
Without penetrating your skull.
Without you thinking that I want something?
Would have just snuck up behind you and bit off your pelvis.
Would it be so hard to close your eyes while I'm eating?
Would it be so hard to close your mouth while you're eating?
Wow, who would have thought I'd miss my kids this much?
Wow! I can't eat you at all. Oh, boy, kind of funny, huh?
Wow! I love the tour. I'm gaga for the tour.
Wow! This is a sock.
Wow. Hey, there's a bite taken out of here.
Wow. I'm overwhelmed
Ya big lizard.
Yeah, and I've done you a favor there, Rizzic,
Yeah, and put those pine trees back where you found them.
Yeah, and this baby won't be leaving for college till it's 18,
Yeah, but you're my pal.
Yeah, but...
Yeah, I did do that. Didn't I? I opened it right up and I faced him.
Yeah, I'm sorry you married my daughter.
Yeah, maybe you could come down and teach him a lesson
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, she bounced right back up and landed back in her chair.
Yeah, she's in the tar!
Yeah, the biggest.
Yeah, we got brains the size of walnuts.
Yeah, well, maybe not the best years,
Yeah, well, that and I'm hungry! Feed my mouth!
Yeah, yeah, you always wrote me.
Yeah, yeah. Let's howl and get on to the settlement of grievances.
Yeah, you could get a divorce and marry someone else.
Yeah, you got a beautiful family here, Earl.
Yeah, you're right. I don't know what I was thinking.
Yeah!
Yeah! Wait till you hear the howl on this kid.
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. And you're the only one married to Fran.
Yeah. Let's get lunch.
Yeah. My father gave them to me on my wedding day.
Yeah. We should be able to figure this out.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yes, in the back.
Yes, it's the mating dance.
Yes, sir, Mr. Richfield, and I put him down for a raise in salary.
Yes, we're slashing high prices! This refrigerator, freezer, $1,399.95,
Yes! Cool! Excellent!
Yoo hoo.
You and I have had a lot of tough times, Earl.
You are now ready to howl with confidence...
You are what you are, and that's all you're ever gonna be,
You brought light where once there was darkness.
You can do anything.
You can have a frozen dinner, Earl. We've got a frozen dinner right here.
You could be a... A legend among dinosaurs!
You could take the kids for a weekend.
You do that one more time, and I'm gonna throw you across the room!
You do?
You don't have to go.
You don't remember your grandpa, do you? You were very young when he was hurled.
You go ahead and have another baby. (SCOFFS)
You got it, big boy.
You got one major plaque build up back here.
You had it in you to come in here and take me on,
You have to do that because I love you and I want you to be safe.
You have to go away forever and never come back.
You haven't been practicing.
You knocked all these trees down?
You know I don't usually go in for that sensitivity stuff,
You know, Fran, part of me is saying,
You know, I'm gonna let you in on something there, Rizzic.
You know, I'm not as young as I used to be.
You know, in the olden days, a guy like Gary there
You know, it's been almost 30 years
You know, Robbie, your grandmother's been looking forward to this day
You know, sometimes it's not important to understand why you do something.
You know, Son, if you were 40 feet taller, I'd take you up on that.
You know, the entire dinosaur community has been reborn
You know, you've lived such a fascinating life.
You know... I feel like I could live to be a million.
You must be beating those girls off with a stick.
You need your sleep.
You put food on the table... No offense there, Rizzic.
You really should ask me about my day, Earl.
You see, Fran, I learned something during my time in the woods.
You sent for me, my captain?
You stop talking! You're talking too loud!
You support them, you give them all of your money,
You turn off that television, you're gonna be one sorry little dinosaur.
You wake that baby, I'll bite your head off.
You want to sleep on the couch for the rest of your life?
You went to throw yourself over the cliff without me.
You were willing to open that door and face him.
You! You flirt with some masta Don Juan in the invertebrate aisle,
You'd think I could tell a guy he eats like a pig and dresses like a slob,
You're a young, sweet kid, Robbie. And you don't really know anything yet.
You're always late.
You're disgusting me with the way you chew with your mouth open.
You're emotionally mature enough now to know the truth.
You're gonna want to see this. It's important.
You're losing elevation.
You're not?
You're really better off being rid of your family.
You're right. I should be. I'm leaving. I'm getting out of here. Thank you.
You're saying you want me to leave town?
You're the one I want to spend my life with,
You're trying to put me to... (SNORING)
You're worth fighting for.
You've been best friends since before I was born.
You've brought about a cataclysm against all life on Earth,
You've brought about a cataclysm against all life on Earth,
You've got a wonderful family to come home to.
Your choice.
Your family proud, but keep our civilization
Your grandfather gave me on our tenth anniversary.
Your life. What life? Your life is me and the kids.
Your mother was cooking dinner as usual...
Your problem is just that you're tired all the time.
Zookeepers are baffled at why the two seemingly healthy cave people
"...cordially invite you to join them..." And Baby.
"and bring an end to our days on Earth." And you buy that?
"Earl, unlock that bathroom door." Huh?
"I hope you're good, too." (CHUCKLES) (ETHYL CHUCKLING)
"Mr. and Mrs. Earl Sinclair..." And Baby.
(ALARM BUZZING) (TAPPING)
(ALARM BUZZING) (TAPPING)
(ALL SCREAM) ROY: Wait! Wait!
(BOTH CRY) Hey, I'm your little baby.
(BOTH CRY) Hey, I'm your little baby.
(BOTH CRY) I'm your little baby.
(CHANGES CHANNEL) (CREATURE SCREECHING)
(CHARLENE GROANS, WHINES) It's the Baby.
(CHEERS) That's for college.
(CHUCKLES) (PANTING)
(CHUCKLES) (PAPER RUSTLING)
(CHUCKLES) Well, come on. Let's get started.
(CHUCKLES) Wussy howl!
(CHUCKLES) Oh, boy. Well, pally boy,
(CLATTERS) ...what is it?
(CONTINUES HUMMING) Hey, this is nice.
(DINOSAUR SCREECHES) FRAN: Earl, feed the baby.
(DOOR OPENS) Look, this whole entire
(DOORBELL RINGS) (GASPS)
(DOORBELL RINGS) FRAN: Earl, Mother's here.
(DRAWER OPENING) So, drink, Sinclair?
(EARL AND BABY YELL) Dad, why don't we just keep
(EARL CHUCKLES) Earl, this is Mother's big day.
(EARL CHUCKLES) Yeah, how do you feel?
(EARL GROANS) Hello, fat boy.
(EARL GROWLS) (CONTINUES SHUDDERING)
(EARL GROWLS) Hi, Robbie! Hi, Robbie!
(EARL GRUNTING) Push, push!
(EARL GRUNTS) I'll, uh, take that as a no.
(EARL GRUNTS) If you stop and think about it,
(EARL LAUGHS) It is getting late.
(EARL SIGHS) Maybe, there are things
(ENGINE REVVING) (TIRES SCREECHING)
(ETHYL CHUCKLES) How was your day, Earl?
(GASPS, LAUGHS) (MIMICKING GUITAR PLAYING)
(GASPS) And five kisses.
(GASPS) It was hard to tell.
(GASPS) Look!
(GROANS) (PANTING)
(GROANS) And I'm sorry
(GROANS) Get a hold of yourself!
(GROANS) We had a problem,
(GROANS) Who do you love second best? Mama.
(GROWLS) Hey, Roy.
(GRUNTS) (CHEERS)
(GRUNTS) GARY: Hey, what are you doing?
(GRUNTS) You look gorgeous, Ethyl. Oh, do you think so?
(HISSES) (WHIMPERS)
(HORN HONKS) CHARLENE: There's my ride.
(HOWLS WEAKLY) Hmm.
(HUMMING) ...to put me to sleep? Please.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) (ALL APPLAUD)
(LAUGHING) (EARL LAUGHING)
(LAUGHS) Robbie got lots of new gifts today.
(LAUGHS) You see that, Fran?
(MOCKING) Da, da, da, da, da. ROBBIE: Hey, hey.
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV) Oh. (GIGGLES) Hi, baby.
(PANTS) You gotta commit to it, Rob.
(ROARS) ...or not.
(ROARS) Eh, that's my boy.
(ROBBIE GRUNTS) Yeah.
(RUMBLING) Do you hear something?
(SCREAMING) (EARL GROANS)
(SCREAMS) No, no, no, no.
(SHUDDERS) (FRAN SIGHS)
(SIGHS) ...knowing that you will not only make
(SIGHS) (GASPS) Look at that.
(SIGHS) Ah. Good job.
(SIGHS) Not for long. (ROY LAUGHING) Yeah.
(SNORING) FRAN: And then Robbie came in
(SPITS) SHREW: Whoa! Man, do I need a shower!
(STAMMERS) Can I offer anybody a coffee? ROBBIE: Yeah.
(SUCKING THUMB) (HEART BEATING)
(TAPE REWINDING) (RICHFIELD CONTINUES LAUGHING)
(TELEPHONE RINGS) (EARL GRUNTS)
(THUDDING) (BIRDS SQUAWKING)
(THUDS) (SCREAMS)
(TREE CREAKING) EARL: Hey, it was a mighty toss,
(WHISPERING) You're 72. Oh, yes, 72 years old.
(WOOD CREAKS) (CLOCK TICKING)
(YELLING) Awoo! Awoo oo... (SIGHS)
a long time ago? Me.
A sweater. I just want a sweater. And I just want dinner.
about the pen and pencil set. I know that wasn't too original.
After all, she is the female in question. I haven't told her.
After the baby, upset. Hmm.
Again! Not again!
Ah! And dinosaurs rule the world.
All right, here comes the grandma train. Mm.
ALL: Hi. Yeah. Yeah. Hi.
ALL: Yeah! Yeah! That's lunch.
ALL: Yeah. Robbie, there's the moon. Hit it.
Am I at work? No.
Am I at work? No.
Am I at work? Yes. Yes.
Am I in the story yet? I'm getting to you.
Am I in the story yet? Well,
And at the rate they're going... Ah!
and howls his mightiest howl. (DINOSAURS HOWLING)
And I feel pretty good. Me, too.
and it was a golden age. (CHUCKLES) Then what?
And why not? Well, he's...
any moonlit night of the week. Oh, yeah?
Are we dead yet? No, dear.
ARTHUR: I won't forget this. (SCOFFS)
Arthur. Arthur Rizzic. Earl. Earl Sinclair.
at each other. He destroyed the universe.
Aw! Yeah, we feel close to you.
Awoo. A... Awoo.
BABY: Not the Mama, not the Mama... (GROANS)
Baby! It's the baby and the house and the kids.
Because of me? Well, because of a lot of things.
Because you have a wussy howl. I do not.
Before the baby, not upset. Mm hmm.
Bend, will you bend? EARL: Come on, I've got such a cramp.
Big whoop! Earl, it's traditional.
but at the risk of starting a rumor... (GROANS)
But before I go... DINOSAUR 1: Here it comes.
But I like Dad. You're just used to him.
But she... One night.
But, Frannie... I do not want you to respond to her.
But, sir... Thank me!
But, uh..
by your sudden lack of cruelty. (DRINK POURING)
CHARLENE: (GASPS) EARL: This is your son, Robbie.
Charlene? Mom, get some sleep.
Come on, Grandma. Forget about me. Hide yourself.
Come on. You think so? Come on. Hey, guys!
Cut that out. (THUDS)
Daddy! What?
Did you say it sincerely? Nah. It's was defense mechanism.
Did you say that I had a wussy howl? I don't know. Did I?
do something. SHREW: Yeah, make up your mind.
Do we know each other? Yeah, we know each other.
Do you have to that? Now, you've known me a long time.
Do you love me? (GROANS)
doesn't it make sense to you? Oh, yeah, it certainly does.
Doesn't look done to me. It's done. It's damn done.
Don't expect anything from me. I wouldn't.
Don't screw it up! Yes, sir... No, sir.
Don't you hear it? It's the ice maker.
Done. You were going to be my dinner,
Earl Snead Sinclair! Oh, God. My whole name.
Earl Snead Sinclair! Oh, God. My whole name.
Earl, a paycheck! Note the imperceptible raise.
Earl, it wasn't like that. Oh, yes it was.
EARL: Here's the way I see it. ALL: Yeah?
EARL: Hmm, hmm. (BABY SIGHS)
EARL: Uh huh. He helped me with my cart.
EARL: Whoa! Ah!
EARL: Yeah. What are you doing?
Earl? Oh, hi, Fran.
Earl. EARL: What?
Earl... Uh... Look, it's Godzilla!
Eat. (MUNCHES)
Eh, that's the spirit. Maybe I should go in there right now.
Eh? Look, Earl,
Eh... School's not for asking questions.
ever since the baby was born. Hmm.
Everybody's looking. I mean, think about it logically.
Except for your barbecue apron. I'm sorry I gave you a hard time
featuring the new creature screen. Mmm!
Flood. Plagues.
for many years. Yeah, that's fine.
for no good reason. Oh. (CLEARS THROAT)
Fran, Robbie, come in here. Bye.
FRAN: Earl, stop! (EARL PANTS)
Frannie? Mmm.
Franny! Mother.
from coming to an end. (HOWLS WEAKLY)
GARY: Earl, you married this? Nineteen years.
GARY: Fran, I just thought... You thought? You thought nothing.
Get back to work, Sinclair. Yes, sir, Mr. Rizzic. Yes, sir.
Get out of here. (WHIMPERS)
Give me that. Okay. Now,
Good luck with them. Way to go, Mom. What a shrew.
Good night, dear. FRAN: Don't patronize me.
Good night. No, no, no! Look.
Good thing I got it on VHS. (CHUCKLES) Ooh!
Good. (SLURPS) Ah!
Grandma giving you a good dinner? (BABBLES)
Great. I remember he said,
Guys, come on. Stop it.
Ha ha! Yeah, and remember, lift with your knees.
He really did? CHARLENE: Mm hmm
He started it! (EXCLAIMS) Uh uh!
He's stuck there. And yet, we can move freely.
Hello, fat boy. Hello, you vicious old bag of...
Hello. Hey! Hey! Hey!
Here you go, sweetheart. ...give it. Yes.
Hey, Dad, Roy just called. There is no Roy.
Hey, look, Grandma, is this me and you? Yeah, look, I had all my spikes.
Hey! What?
Hey... (CHUCKLING)
Hi, Daddy. How was your day? Not a dime, Charlene.
Hi, Robbie! Hi, Robbie! Hey, you guys, come on. Dad.
Hi, there, Robbie. Hi.
hitting him on the head with a pot. (CHUCKLES) Wow.
Hmm? Hmm? No way.
Hmm. No baby, no upset.
Hot. No! (SCREAMS)
How much? Yeah, imperceptible.
How was your day, dear? Compared to what, Fran?
How you doing? Glad to know you.
Huh? Can you bob dip for me?
Huh? I said go on, get out of here!
Huh? I'm telling you I can see your lunch.
Huh? Like the Earth is getting ready
Huh? Oh, hi. Hi, Robbie. Don't you talk to my kid like that.
I am the Mighty... Close it!
I am your wife. And I'm the Mighty Megalosaurus!
I did it. You put the baby to sleep
I don't believe you. I don't blame you.
I just got home. (TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
I just need more money. Eh.
I just want the pots. No. Uh uh.
I like it. Hey, you like that,
I missed it here. But you were unhappy here.
I understand, Dad. Yeah. Okay, I'll see you at home.
I wanna be in the story. You are...
I want you to keep an eye on her. ROBBIE: No problem.
I wooed. I won. I'm done. Maybe it's time to re woo.
I'll take it from here. Well, I thought you wanted me
I'm coming, Louie. Earl, stop.
I'm going to bed. Oh, okay.
I'm gonna give that guy what's what. You're gonna tell him where to get off.
I'm just asking. What?
I'm just going to bed. Okay.
I'm married. 29.95. Pay now.
I'm not cleaning this. What do you think, Mom?
I'm sorry! Give me that back.
I'm sorry. "I quit!"
I'm throwing her! Ow!
I've gotta get my teeth drilled. See you later.
If he gets to go out, I do, too. (YELLS)
If you will. Get back to work, Sinclair.
In the tar? You mean actually in the tar? Yeah.
into adult malehood. Oh, wow!
Is something bothering you, Earl? Bothering me? No.
is there life after that? For me, there is.
It's gone. It's the end of the world!
it's gonna be me. Okay. Thanks, Dad. Cool.
It's paycheck day. Paycheck day. The day I get my check!
It's paycheck day. Paycheck day. The day I get my check!
it's really a barbaric ritual, Dad. It's not barbaric! It's holy and solemn.
Jeez! All right.
Kick. BOTH: Bob, bob, dip.
Left, right, and left. EARL: Weave.
Let's go. What are you going to do?
Let's start with this simple phrase... Okay.
Like it! (BOTH WHIMPER)
Listen, Dad! No, you listen!
Lowest of the low? For the rest of your life.
Mm mm. It's delicious. Num, num.
Mmm hmm. ...and dinner was trying to escape,
Morning, Ed. Morning, Sid.
Nice gloves. Hmm. Thank you, sir.
Nice trajectory, sir. Damn right.
Nice. ROBBIE: (SIGHS)
No kidding, you got a plan? Yeah, it's pretty simple, really.
No, we had two duds and Robbie. I'm saying!
No! (GROANS) (CHUCKLES)
No. You promised
No. Uh uh. Uh uh. It's good.
No. What? Shh! A low rumbling.
None taken. And what do they do for you?
Not only am I... Robbie.
Not the Mama, not the Mama! (EARL GROANS)
Not the Mama! (GROANS)
Not the Mama! I really wish you'd grow out of this.
Not the Mama. (GROANS)
Not the Mama. Ah, neither are you.
Not the Mama. Duh! I'm going upstairs.
Nothing bad happened at all. You're not friends anymore.
Of course, dear. ROBBIE: Hey, Mom, check this out!
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Well, then, I stand by it.
Oh, all the time, Dad. Look, Robbie. I'm going downstairs,
Oh, come on, let's hear one. No.
Oh, don't be silly. Well, then how do you know
Oh, Earl. You were so brave. Yeah
Oh, give me a break. Hey, a dinosaur's howl is
Oh, I believe that's me. (CHUCKLES) Loser.
Oh, I'll get it. No, no, sweetheart. You sleep.
Oh, I'm so scared, Mr. Big Adult Male. Oh. Oh, yeah? Well, check this out.
Oh, jeez! Hello? Hello? Am I suddenly invisible?
Oh, no, no, no, I meant no gun, sir. ...must be prepared
Oh, thanks, honey. Bye, dear.
Oh, the baby, oh, the baby, baby... Hey, Fran, take a look at this.
Oh, uh, Robbie... Yeah, Dad?
Oh, yeah? Hey! Watch it.
Oh, yeah. Sure... Well, then maybe
Oh! (SIGHS, CHUCKLES)
Oh! I'll see you tomorrow, Ethyl.
Oh! You!
Oh! Oh! (GRUNTS) Whoa, whoa.
Oh. ...but it starts before you were born.
Oh. ...where you'll want to spend eternity.
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
Oh. I don't get it, what's going on?
Oh. Not ever again!
Oh. When dinosaurs turn 72,
Oh. This one for me? No, no, dear, that's not for you.
Okay, I'm ready. No, you're not, Grandma.
Okay, kid, it's showtime. (CHUCKLES) Dad, I got a real problem with this.
Okay. BABY SINCLAIR: Hurry, Mommy. Hurry.
Okay. Come on.
Okay. MEL: Yeah, right.
Okay. Bye. ROY: Hey, Earl, what about my stuff?
Okay. Mom, can I go to a movie tonight? Not a chance!
Ooh, this for me. No, no, dear, all of these
our blushing bachelorette, liked it. Yeah!
Please don't say anymore. Huh?
Practicing hard? Out of my room, Charlene.
Ready! Set, throw!
Robbie, don't be a stupid kid! (ROBBIE GRUNTS)
ROBBIE: Huh, what? (EARL SIGHS)
ROBBIE: Why do we do this? (DINOSAURS HOWL)
Rough him up a bit. Hey, hey, hold on there
Roy, Dad. Come on, stop it. (ROY AND EARL GROWLING)
Roy, your dad gave you this? Yeah.
ROY: Good. (DOOR CLOSES)
ROY: Nah. How you doing?
She wasn't upset before the baby. Hmm.
Should I turn on the TV? ALL: Yes!
Shut your eyes! Shut your head!
since you met your car. Oh, sure.
So tomorrow night you're gonna scamper... (SIGHS)
So, see you tonight at 7:00, huh? Make it a quarter to 7:00
So, then why do you have to do anything? Because I'm the problem.
So, then, uh, without your family... I'm completely nothing,
Story! No story.
Story. No story.
Story. No story. Give me that back!
Ta da! (BABY AND EARL SCREAMING)
Take another day away. I don't want another day away.
Tape one, Howling for Beginners. (SIGHS)
That was a good story, especially me. Yeah.
that words escape me. Roy, can you hold that in a bit?
that you are my best and all that. Yeah, back at ya, pally boy.
That's an interesting notion there, Fran. Isn't it?
That's Daddy's little boy. Shh.
That's debatable. No, it's not. I dated one in high school.
That's my boy. (HOWLING CONTINUES)
That's right. But it didn't.
the lights on. The lights work?
The Mama... (CRIES) Okay...
the old heave ho? Roy, please, Fran's mother and I
The sun came up. It's another day.
The sun came up. It's another day.
then you'll really like this. What?
There he is, Robbie, my baby. (ROBBIE CHUCKLES)
There's a good girl. ROBBIE: Hi, Gram.
There's just no reason for it. There is, dear.
There's still 12 hours left. Good night, Mother.
These are the tools of my trade. (DOOR OPENS)
They were given to me by my fa... I'm speaking!
they're thrown into a tar pit. Oh.
This is your daughter, Charlene. Hello.
This is your daughter, Charlene. Hello.
Times are changing, Earl. Today? Do they have to change today?
to howl anymore. Yes, there is.
to introduce the little guy. I changed my mind.
to study with her. Come on, Earl.
Tomorrow's the big day, huh? Yeah.
Uh huh. ...and you've put on some pounds
Uh oh. Hello, Mother Phillips.
Uh, sorry, Dad. Yeah, it's all part of growing up.
Uh, want to come in with me? No. Big teeth.
Uh, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay.
Uh... Okay. Not at all.
Uh... Yeah, well. Good boy. She may try that again.
Uncle Roy! You guys, what's happening? (GRUNTING CONTINUES)
Unless there's nothing in that egg. What?
Very good. Thanks. (CLEARS THROAT)
Was he any trouble, Mom? No, dear, he was a perfect angel.
Well, I... I don't believe in it. (ALL GASP)
Well, shut your eyes. Shut your head!
Well, take a sweater. Wait!
Well, that was the idea. What happened?
Well, what does she want from you? She doesn't know.
Well, where is this my fault? I'm not blaming you.
What are we doing? What would you like to do?
What are you gonna do? I'm gonna tell you a little something
What are you talking about? The mating dance!
What could possibly happen? Earthquake.
What do you mean? Well, if I was a big dinosaur like you
What happened next? I went to work.
What is it, Earl? Oh, uh, it's nothing.
What, what? Oh! (RUSTLING)
What? (CHUCKLES) Ooh.
What? Dad, a million years ago,
What? Fran, how does Earl stack up to this guy?
What? Huh?
What? You face me down,
What's for dinner? I don't like your attitude.
What's going on, Earl? I have decided to stay and fight.
What's that? A 90 inch television set.
What's that? Hide yourself.
When are we gonna be dead? Very soon, dear.
Where do you think you're going? Out with the guys to mark some territory.
Who do you love? Mama.
Who do you think you are, anyway? I'm the guy who carried your groceries.
Whoa! (LAUGHS) Whoo! (LAUGHS)
Why not? Because for once,
Why not? Because I said no.
Why not? Because.
Why the hell not? Because you're my father,
Why would I want to do that? Well,
Why? Because your mother makes me.
Why? Well,
Will you tell him it's disgusting? Hey, listen, listen.
with the mating dance. Uh, no, no, no.
WOMAN: Housewives... Mmm!
Wow! Are we dead?
Wussy howl! How'd you like me to bite your head off?
Yeah, get your foot off the brake. Oh, shut up.
Yeah, I suppose so. Something I can do for you?
Yeah, we do. Sinclair, in here now!
Yeah, yeah, he's a saint. He didn't even blame me.
Yeah, yeah. So, Mom, tomorrow's the big day.
Yeah? Oh, jeez
Yeah? Oh, sure.
Yeah. Hmm.
Yeah. I guess it's not a secret
Yeah. Look. Nonskid grip.
Yeah. Well, Roy, you wanna do it?
Yeah. Well, you're on!
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yep. Hey, all I am trying to do
Yep. SID: Hey, Earl!
Yes, dear. Uh...
Yikes! FRAN: Hey!
You bought that? Man. (GASPS) Robbie.
You can hang on to it for a while. Thanks.
You could do it. Huh?
You could live with us in Dad's den! That's it! They're both going over.
You did a good thing here. Oh, thanks, Dad. (CHUCKLES)
You eat it. You wanna open your mouth,
you insensitive, insecure, arrogant... Uh, honey.
You lost me completely. It's the baby.
You see, you see what's happening? Oh, Mother. Come here, sweetheart.
You took a walk? I took a long walk.
You'd be doing me a favor, actually. What do you mean?
You're always saying... (REFRIGERATOR MONSTER BURBLES)
You're my best friend. Buddy, come on over for dinner.
You've still got your figure. Oh, stop. I'm a mother of three.
Your Grandpa Louie was such a fisherman. Ah.
Your new baby. Where's the rest of him?
...I now decree that from this day forward,
...I, uh... I feel very close to you right now.
...oh, 72nd birthday, shall be hurled into a tar pit.
...that I'm still growing into my body, and if I don't have breakfast,
...tired of chasing dinner all over the house?
...your scaly butt up that hill and howl like a banshee.
'Cause there's really nothing left in my apartment now, anyway.
"...as their son, Robert Mark Sinclair is called up the mountain for his howling,
"...will be hurled into the ooze by her loving son in law, Earl Sinclair."
"and bring an end to our days on Earth."
"and bring an end to our days on Earth." Now, how would not howling
"but did you see the loft he got on his mother in law?"
"But if you get that can of peas for me, you can have my whole family!"
"Dear Mr. Sinclair,
"do we defeat the dark spirit
"Earl Sinclair, no genius, no big shot,
"Excuse me, Mr. 90 foot husband killer,
"Friday at six o'clock to take possession of your family and home."
"From the law offices of Spikeback, Ribcrusher and Fenski.
"Gary will arrive at your house,
"grandmother of blah, blah, blah..."
"he is entitled to do so, after a brief struggle
"Hey, this is my house. I ought to stay and fight."
"How do I say goodbye to you?"
"How to get ready for a fight to the death."
"I can't reach the top shelf.
"I'm writing to you on behalf of my client Gary,
"in so far as my client is nine times your size and undefeated.
"It is good here at camp. The food is good.
"Kirk stood poised on the diving board, his tail glistening in the sun..."
"Love, Robbie Sinclair."
"Marriages, Births, Dismemberments, Large bites, Hurlings."
"mother of blah, blah, blah,
"Once upon a time...
"Only by howling do we defeat the dark spirit
"P.S...
"should you need assistance in preparing your will,
"So You've Been Challenged.
"Sorry you're being tossed off a cliff"?
"To the male of the house."
"Under section 412, article 9, of the code of the wilderness,
"we hope you will think of us first."
"which would turn dinosaur against dinosaur
"which would turn dinosaur against dinosaur
"which would turn dinosaur against dinosaur."
"which you have no chance of surviving
"who met your wife at the supermarket and would like to take her as his mate.
"with reception to follow." (WAILS) Oh, my little baby!
(ALL CHUCKLE)
(ALL GASP, CLAMOR)
(ALL LAUGH)
(ALL YAWNING)
(ANIMALS CALLING)
(BABY SIGHS)
(BIN MONSTER CHOMPING)
(BOTH CHEERING)
(BOTH CRYING)
(BOTH GROWLING)
(BOTH GRUNT)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(BOTH HOWLING)
(BOTH KISSING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(BOTH PANTING)
(BURPING LOUDLY)
(BURPS)
(BURPS)
(CAVEMAN GRUNTING)
(CAVEMAN LAUGHS)
(CHANG CHANG GRUNTING)
(CHARLENE HUMMING)
(CHARLENE WHIMPERS)
(CHEERS)
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) How's it going?
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Well, nobody wants that.
(CHUCKLES, SIGHS)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES) And I appreciate that, Mom, and everything, I really do.
(CHUCKLES) It's funny, but nothing.
(CHUCKLES) The ground is my bed.
(CHUCKLING)
(CLANKING)
(CLEARS THROAT) It says, "Dear Grandma, how are you? I am good.
(CLEARS THROAT) Uh, hello there, Fran.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
(CLICKS TONGUE)
(CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
(CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
(COUGHS, HOWLS WEAKLY)
(CRACKING)
(CREATURES CLAMORING)
(DINOSAUR ON TV) Gosh, Lyle, I really like you.
(DISH CLATTERS)
(DRAMATIC TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(EARL BREATHES HEAVILY)
(EARL CONTINUES VOCALIZING)
(EARL GROANS, PANTS)
(EARL GRUNTS)
(EARL GRUNTS)
(EARL PANTING)
(EARL SCREAMS)
(EARL SNORING)
(EARL SNORING)
(EARL SNORING)
(EARL VOCALIZING)
(EARL WHIMPERS)
(FRAN HUMMING)
(GASPS)
(GASPS) I loved it.
(GASPS) It is!
(GASPS) Robbie...
(GASPS) Uh, I'm not going to college unless I have something to wear!
(GROANING AND SIGHING)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS) Cook and clean, clean and cook. That's all I ever do.
(GROANS) Dead? Dead? Dead? It's starting.
(GROANS) Goodbye, other shirt.
(GROANS) Oh, oh! Whoa! I'm on the floor.
(GROWLS)
(GRUNTING) Oh!
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS) You had to eat a big breakfast. Didn't you?
(HOWLING CONTINUES)
(HOWLING)
(HOWLING)
(HOWLS POWERFULLY)
(HUMMING)
(HUMMING)
(HUMS) Hey, there pally boy, ready to give the mother in law
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(INDISTINCT COMMENTARY ON TV)
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
(KISSES)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LOUD ANIMAL AND BIRD CALLING)
(MOCKINGLY) Ethyl! (CHUCKLES).
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(MUTTERS)
(PANTING)
(REFRIGERATOR MONSTER BURBLES)
(ROBBIE BREATHES HEAVILY)
(ROBBIE GRUNTS)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(RUSTLING)
(SAWING)
(SCOFFS)
(SCOFFS)
(SCOFFS) What kind of male/female problem?
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
(SCREECHES)
(SHIVERS) Eh. So what?
(SHUDDERING)
(SIGHS, GROANS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS) Let me explain this to you.
(SIGHS) Off. On.
(SIGHS) Oh, boy.
(SIGHS) Okay, fine. Maybe I was wrong.
(SIGHS) Sinclair, you dog.
(SIGHS) You should've seen her, Roy.
(SINGING) ♪ Hurling Day, Hurling Day! ♪
(SINGING) ♪ I am Mr. Ugh ♪
(SLURPING)
(SMACKS LIPS)
(SMOOCHES)
(SNIFFING) That smells like...
(SNIFFS) What's that?
(SNORING)
(SODA CAN CLATTERS)
(SPITS)
(STAMMERS) But I love my family.
(STRAINING)
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THUDS)
(THUDS)
(THUDS)
(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(TV RINGING)
(TV TURNS OFF)
(VOCALIZING)
(WHIMPERING)
(WHIMPERS)
(WHIMPERS)
(WHINES)
(WHINES)
(YAWNS)
♪ Ba, da, do, dow, da, da, da, da, Da, dee, wop, bop, bop, ba, da, do, dow ♪
♪ Da, da, da, dee, wop, bop, bop ♪
♪ Da, dada, dada, dada ♪
♪ Da, do, dee, da, da, da, da, da Dee, doo, doo... ♪
♪ Dancing Dancing for the baby ♪
♪ Dee, dee, da, da, da, da, Dee, da, do ♪
♪ La, la, hmm, hmm, hmm, La, la, la, la... ♪
♪ La, la, hmm, hmm, hmm... ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ One more day till Hurling Day! ♪
$4.95 a ton, and it isn't even disemboweled yet.
Sound Added to Your Favorites Soundboard

Log in or create an account to save your favorites, or they'll expire in 4 hours

Error Adding Sound
Error adding sound to your favorites.
Sound Reported
Sound reported and our moderators will review it shortly.
Error Reporting Sound
Error reporting sound. Please use the Contact page.