Dinosaurs - Season 2 Edit

A child with a golden horn has been found and declared the new king.

A corporation could be compassionate and caring?

A dinosaur in a black cloak delivered it.

A game show! The Family Challenge!

A herbivore?

A long, gold bony thing with a point.

A lot of dinosaurs eat vegetables from time to time.

A meteor watch has been put into effect throughout the Pangaean panhandle.

A TV game show?

About things like that.

Absolutely prohibits me from telling anybody

Absolutely without warning.

Ah, Dad.

Ah, jeez!

Ah, jeez.

Ah, the refrigerator. Always there for me.

Ah!

Ah! Oh, you're all a bunch of pigs. (GROANS)

Ah! Robbie, you're the best son a dad could ever have.

Ah.

All I know is that my life was not nearly as difficult

All I want is my little girl back, Fran.

All in favor, sit there motionless.

All right, all right, get back. Wait your turn.

All right. Here is the concept of gravity.

All right. That ends right now.

All right. You're right.

All these wild tales of mystical voodoo mumbo jumbo

ALL: (SINGING) ♪ All we are saying... ♪

ALL: (SINGING) ♪ Is give peas a chance... ♪

ALL: Ah!

ALL: Good morning, Pangaea!

ALL: Mmm.

ALL: Oh!

ALL: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Almost always. But what's your point?

An active volcano

ANCHORMAN ON TV: The Making Of A King, day two. Now, here is DNN correspondent

ANCHORMAN: The King Is A Hoax, day one.

And a father, who may not ordinarily be a sensitive type,

And a sun protection factor, which, coincidentally,

And a wonderful life where he'll get everything

And all you really need.

And Arnie had to teach him a valuable lesson about life.

And as a tyrannosaurus, I use my massive jaws

And came in a free carrying case with a loofah!

And don't be putting me in no vegetable bin.

And Families...

And giving new meaning to the expression, "Go deep."

And here are today's categories.

And here's Mr. Family Challenge himself, Buddy Glimmer!

And how do you know?

And how does that little lizard repay me?

And how much you love her, and that's the only present she'll need.

And I don't have a lap to sit on anymore.

And I have to find my new center of gravity by then... Whoops.

And I let you guys talk me out of it. Why'd I let you talk me out of it?

And I love you.

And I think we should talk to each other at the dinner table.

And I was hoping you could see your way clear

And I was wasting these precious hours with my family.

And I will happily jump down this guy's intestines.

And I would appraise the damage sustained here

And I wouldn't mind hearing what the family thinks.

And I wrote a whole essay about what you guys said about

And I'm glad I had ya.

And I'm glad to give it to him.

And I'm going to get him back, right now.

And I'm going to tell you something, Charlene.

And I'm gonna get left behind!

And I'm not going to be the one who gives it to him.

And if Mom could see how upset you are,

And it turns out I have combination scales!

And most of all, Bruno, who makes the skinniest ribs in the business.

And nobody's around to see it or hear it...

And not go upstairs.

And now, here's a father and son playing catch a little too near

And now, we know nothing.

And one who runs from his responsibility

And sat on my lap,

And share and improve our general knowledge of trivia.

And since you're behind, Sinclairs, way behind...

And sometimes you feel attached to the characters on TV.

And take it out into the night.

And teach him about his place in the food chain.

And tell each other how very much in love you still are, and who knows?

And that didn't keep me from landing a wonderful guy like your father.

And that is what you'll gonna call me, Daddy. Now say, "Daddy."

And that's what I get for letting food do my homework.

And the next minute they were gone.

And the wife's probably looking forward to that grapdelite dinner, right?

And then my wife, Frannie,

And then there won't be any more of you at all.

And then you became king and they took you away.

And then you simple individuals do not have the vast resources

And there would always be enough of everything.

And they said if you only see one Winkie this season, tonight's the one.

And those Becklesons, they're gonna learn more and more valuable lessons about life,

And those dinosaurs outside are just sheep.

And those grapdelites are gonna taste so sweet and satisfying. Mmm.

And today, she's little Miss Look What I Got.

And touch the sacred horn.

And trouble erupts.

And until then, you have to live each day to the fullest,

And watch the sparks fly when mother moves in.

And what do you get? A burning moral dilemma from your son.

And what makes you the ancient history expert?

And you believe that?

And you know, that was okay for him.

And you only get one, buster.

And you think these guys are the right guys to go out with?

And you've got a good one. And I'm surprised at you for not using it.

And your mother says I should've spent more time with you.

And, he said you've been doing much better in school lately.

And, Robbie, I saw your teacher, Mr. Pullman, at the supermarket.

Angry?

ANNOUNCER: Now, it's time once again

Any favorite shows?

Anyway, I was wondering, could you grant me a variance?

Anyway, I'm very good at soccer.

Anyway, the teacher said there would always be enough g****s,

Are going to stand by, while you walk out of here with our baby?

Are just silly rumors.

Are you guys really going extinct?

Are you now or have you ever been an herbivore?

Are you sure? Cause my date's gonna be here at seven o'clock,

Arnie's son, Mikey, got picked on by a bully at school,

Arriving on track number three... Ow!

As prophesied in The Book of Dinosaur,

As the head on your shoulders,

As the point of probable impact.

As thousands flock to see the infant sovereign

At least ask your children what happened in school today.

AUDIENCE: (CHANTING) Cage of Doom!

Aw, jeez, Fran, I'm not in the mood.

Aw. Mama's little helper.

BABY: (BURBLES) Oh! (GROANS)

BABY: Get him! Get him, Charlene! Get him! Get him!

BABY: Whoo woo! (IMITATING TRAIN)

Be careful how you turn around.

Because I want him to like me.

Before somebody else eats them for free.

Behold his brow is knit with wisdom!

Betrayed by the very ones I love.

Bigger eats smaller in the carnivore kingdom.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah.

BOTH: Clean it up! No, you clean it up.

BOTH: Uh, hi there, Earl.

BOTH: We're going to need another Timmy.

Boy, those kings on a stick went like crazy.

Boy, you try to make a couple of extra bucks for your family,

Brother! Sister! I'm all alone!

But as of today, you're on the right track.

But first, a look at the weather where you are.

But hasn't she been a little girl for about 12 years now?

But he, like you, is a simple individual,

But I could chew off my foot if you want.

But I don't want him to get any ideas.

But I don't want him to think I'm fast. But I do want him to buy me dinner.

But I guess a father would do in a pinch.

But I want you to know,

But I wanted better.

But I'm getting teased at work

But is something bothering you?

But it's zoned R1, so I need ten additional feet for my property line.

But nobody leaves The Family Challenge empty handed.

But now, they're not little kids anymore.

But please don't make me bite off my own head.

But right to broccoli?

But Robbie, he paid for them.

But the guard at the door with the machine gun

But the hell with me.

But the whole thing was stupid anyway. Why should I rip apart some poor mastodon?

But then you'll wanna watch whatever show comes on next.

But there's not always going to be enough of everything.

But this is your last night on Earth. Forget the paper. The assignment is over.

But those were my salad days. And you're too old for that, Rob.

But what life really comes down to isn't TV.

But with all due respect, you know,

But you know, I really don't have the money to take her anywhere good.

But you sell so many more books than I do.

But you waited up.

But you'll do in a pinch.

But, boy, they are the sweetest tasting things in the world.

But... But they're not just food. They know stuff.

But... I... Well...

By the way, Charlene,

By you guys on a local level,

Bye.

Cage of Doom!

Cake! Candy!

Can he do that?

Can I have money for lipstick?

Can only become a slave to shallow and materialistic goals.

Can you do that for me?

Can't you see he's thinking?

Champions, select.

Charlene, is it really?

Charlene, sweetheart, it's all right.

Charlene, tail? Hey!

Charlene, the tail on your backside is not as important,

Charlene, why didn't you call me? I'd come to pick you up.

Charlene, would you like to talk about this with your father and me?

Charlene, you look very nice tonight, but, um,

Charlene, you snap his neck, you're gonna hear from me.

Charlene, your father's just trying to organize a family activity.

CHARLENE: Ah! Yeah. ROBBIE: Best two out of three?

CHARLENE: And this is my daddy.

CHARLENE: Give me my tail, Robbie. FRAN: Robbie!

CHARLENE: You're taller than my brother, aren't you?

Charlene?

Children. Hey, you could keep the species alive if you had children.

Come down to have a beer and shoot the breeze?

Come here. Come here. Come here.

Come on, come on! What does this have to do with me?

Come on. Watch your heads.

Coming this fall on ABC.

Coming up on this half hour, Godzilla will be stopping by

Connie, Rex, back to you.

Cookies! Cookies! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Corporations do.

Corporations. Such as this one.

Could we hold all of the questions until the end of the lecture, please?

Cukes. Check it out.

Cumulus.

D... Dad, your grapdelites are the last two in the world.

Dad, come here. Check this out.

Dad, I've got something for you.

Dad, so what if they eat a few peas? They're proud of it.

Dad, where's your self respect?

Dad, you came in after me!

Dad, you're embarrassing me.

Daddy, do you think I should swing it or let it drag?

Daddy, I asked you about water.

Daddy, nature gave me a tail.

Daddy, we think going out would be more fun.

Daddy.

Dah dah Dee, Daddy, Daddy.

Date?

DAVE: Yeah. Go, dude. All right. All right.

Dee.

Did it actually fall?

Did it turn out all right?

Did you bring me a present?

Did you ever think that maybe you're a...

Didn't you ever disagree with your father?

DINOSAUR 1: Yeah, I must've eaten a million of them.

Disputes to settle, athletic gear to endorse.

Do they really make you rip open a live mastodon with your teeth?

Do you wanna cut me some slack?

Doesn't mean you got to disturb me.

Doesn't understand, doesn't mean you've failed.

Don't fight it, son. The more you struggle,

Don't they teach you anything in biology, kid?

Don't worry. He never comes out unless he's hungry.

Don't you feel all right, sweetheart?

Don't you make nice with me, you who spit on the food chain.

Earl Snead Sinclair.

Earl, calm down.

Earl, did you teach him about the food chain?

Earl, I don't want to pry into your personal business,

Earl, if you want a third child again, there's only one thing to do.

Earl, it's time for his nap now.

Earl, we can change what we've become, starting right now.

Earl, we have to do something.

Earl, what is wrong with you?

Earl, you knew Charlene was going to grow up someday.

Earl, you must've gotten a look at him.

EARL: Do not.

EARL: Make way! Coming through! Father of the king coming through!

EARL: No, no, no, FRAN: Oh, no, sweetheart.

EARL: Oh...

EARL: Yeah, I should have dragged you out here a long time ago, Robert.

EARL: Yeah. Two juicy ones.

Earl...

Eat me.

Eat my mate, and die in pieces.

ELDER 1: Four thousand seventy nine.

ELDER 1: Number 4077.

ELDER 1: Oh! ELDER 2: Oh!

ELDER 2: Approach the king, state your case.

ELDER 2: Do you understand the significance of the golden horn?

ELDER 3: "And from his mouth his simple words

ELDER 3: "And this golden child shall be revered from near and far."

ELDER 3: "Father shall be a blithering idiot."

ELDER 3: Behold the king of the dinosaurs!

ELDER 3: Behold, The Sacred Book of Dinosaur,

ELDER 3: Give me the white out.

ELDER 3: He's not your son. He's the king. You have one minute.

ELDER 3: Oh! BABY: Ah! Ah!

ELDER 3: The variance is granted. Touch the horn and go.

ELDER 3: Your time is up.

ELDERS: Ah! BABY: Ah!

ELDERS: Behold the king!

ELDERS: Huh?

Emollient, Lusterizer conditioner mousse with a pH balance

Entrez with the entree. (MUMBLES)

Even though all these guys think you're king 'cause you got that horn,

Even though you didn't win our grand prize 90 inch TV,

Eventually it'll end up looking like this.

Ever since I was 12, you know, whenever I see vegetables...

Every girl in school's grown a tail except her.

Everybody I run into tells me how attractive you looked.

Everybody's out of 'em. You got 'em, I want 'em.

Everyone learned a valuable lesson about life.

Everyone was tearing open their mastodon.

Excuse me, Fran. But I was prepared for child one and child two.

Fast food. Shoots right through.

FEMALE GRAPDELITE: Mmm. MALE GRAPDELITE: There aren't any.

FEMALE GRAPDELITE: We're the last of our kind.

FEMALE GRAPDELITE: We're the last of our kind.

FEMALE GRAPDELITE: Well, what did he write?

FEMALE VOICE: Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Fight to the death with Mr. Nielson

Fine, Charlene, you can go first. Tell us about your day.

Fine.

Fine. (GRUNTS)

Fine. You wade in there, and don't come back without our son.

First of all, on Oh, Those Becklesons,

First, my daughter, who had the nerve to grow a tail

First, our challengers.

For all dinosaur civilization, is now believed

For the more expensive items.

Forget it, Dad.

Fran, I thought long and hard, and I think you were right.

FRAN: Aw. CHARLENE: Aw.

FRAN: Robbie, your father wants to talk to you.

Frannie. Come on, honey. Now don't blame yourself.

Franny, where'd all the sugar go?

FRIDGE CREATURE: Ice cream! (BURBLES)

FRIDGE CREATURES: Go! Go! Go! Go!

From Mom, I guess.

Frozen yogurt! Come on! Keep it coming! Keep it coming!

Fruit is not a vegetable. So, it has to be either an animal or a rock.

Full house. (SNICKERS)

Fun? You want fun? We got fun right here. We got food, we got games.

Funny arms.

Gee, I don't know what came over me.

Gee, John. We both work in the same bookstore,

Gee, Mom, I'm not that interesting. Rea...

Gee, Mr. Lizard, what should I do with the nitroglycerin?

Get on the phone, and order some ribs.

Give me a whitefish.

Give me that. Here's what it feels like. (GRUNTS)

Go ahead, ask me, ask me.

Go get our son and bring him back

Good can only happen in this world

Good morning, family.

Good morning, my family who loves me.

Good morning.

Good morning. It's Wednesday, September 20th, 60,000,003 B.C.

Good thing I popped for that extra media coverage, huh?

Good, because no matter how long and gorgeous your tail is,

Good. Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)

Got to love me.

Gourmet alert.

Grandma Ethyl is part of the family.

Granting admittance to those commoners

Grapdelites are back.

Guys start asking you out.

Hand them to me.

Happy anniversary, Earl.

Happy anniversary, Fran.

Have different ideas than their fathers, Dad.

Have you noticed that some of those sheep are cheerleaders?

He ate off the wrong side of the plate.

He could ever need.

He doesn't trust his own parents.

He dumped me.

He expected me to live in the woods, have kids in the mud,

He is king now, he must join us in the Cave of Destiny,

He just left your tail for another tail.

He knows everything there is to know about the food chain.

He learned never to give the lowest species the keys to the father's car.

He learned that television shows come and go,

He leaves. He doesn't stay. He doesn't trust.

He met a girl with a tail that was bigger than mine, and he went off with her

He was big and mean and hungry.

He was gonna bite off my head.

He wouldn't have turned to this! (WAILING)

He's a big city dinosaur detective who leaps through time

He's a veg o, isn't he?

He's come to his father for a little sowing assistance,

He's eaten, Fran.

He's never even asked me out to dinner.

Hello there, my family who loves me.

Hello, Maurice.

Hello, Mrs. Sinclair.

Hello, the TV. I missed you. Did you miss me?

Her friends are getting their tails, and she's concerned...

Here you go.

Here, little grapdelites. Come on, you little furry fellas.

Here, Robbie. Try it again.

Here's 50 bucks.

Here's your money back.

Hey, and look at that one.

Hey, are you guys really serious?

Hey, come on, Roy. I'm a married guy.

Hey, Earl, how's the little freak of nature?

Hey, everybody! It's The Earl Show!

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, Fran, come here! Come here!

Hey, hey, pally boy. I think that one over there likes me.

Hey, hey! Hey, cut that out.

Hey, hey. What have we here? Hello, lady.

Hey, I'm telling you, she doesn't care about her tail.

Hey, I'm trying to write a paper here, okay?

Hey, look at the tail on that one. Lift it, don't drag it, sweetheart.

Hey, on those hot summer days,

Hey, Roy, you could try kicking the ball down the alley.

Hey, tough day there without the TV, huh, pally boy?

Hey, tough day there without the TV, huh, pally boy?

Hey, we may stink, but at least we stink as a family.

Hey, what did you do that for?

Hey, would I never, pally boy. You know,

Hey, you got a great king there, pally boy.

Hey! Come on! Hey! (GROANS)

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Kiss me goodnight!

Hey.

Hey. How can you sit here waiting to be digested?

Hey. I sneak out of the house on weekends.

Hey. What's with the kid?

Hey. You spewed a little lava. It happens.

Hi, Buddy.

Hi, everyone. Hi, buddy. I'm Earl.

Hi, honey.

Hi, kids.

Hi, Mr. Lizard.

Hi, Mr. Lizard. What are we going to learn today?

Hmm, Tuesday, Tuesday... No, that's Fran's anniversary.

Hmm? Oh.

Hmm? Oh.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. (GASPS)

Hmm. We'll never know.

Honey, I'm home.

Honey, I'm home.

Honey, I'm home.

Honey, I'm home.

Honey, I'm home.

Honey, that was dinner. Next bottle's at bedtime.

Honey...

How about if we turn his room into, like, a memorial walk in closet?

How am I supposed to know which one ate Robbie?

How dare he put this on me?

How did you get so smart?

How long do you think it'll take the boys to notice that I got my tail?

How much does one like that cost now?

How much is my personal dignity worth?

How much is your wife's happiness worth to you, Sinclair?

How we're supposed to know the kid was so special?

How'd I do, Fran?

However, if you don't plan for the future, there won't be any more food.

Huh, yeah.

Huh! I can stretch that to 500 words easy.

Huh? Oh.

Huh? Why should I get upset that that's all boys care about?

Huh. Gee, Mr. Lizard, I don't know

Huh. What?

Hurry up, Sinclair. I'm salivating all over my desk.

I actually like that one much better.

I already flunked once,

I am deeply touched by the sad plight of these poor, poor creatures.

I am the king of all I survey!

I am the Mighty Megalosaurus.

I can't deal with all three kids at the same time.

I can't help thinking there's something different about you.

I come up here on my own for a little heart to heart with my boy,

I could have understood a carrot or a little lettuce maybe,

I could tell other dinosaurs.

I do want you to.

I don't get it

I don't have against you, Dad. It's just... (STAMMERS)

I don't have to take a nap.

I don't know how I feel about being humiliated nationally.

I don't know how to be the father of a teenage female thing.

I don't like my lunch, uh, fraternizing with each other.

I don't often let people in on this, but, uh, there was one time in my life

I don't see this as a loss at all.

I don't see why the whole family has to wait for Robbie

I don't think nature knows what it's doing.

I don't understand. It started out as this little bump.

I don't want to do this.

I experimented with some lettuce.

I found him, Fran.

I give... I give up. Ow, ow, ow!

I got it! I got it! I got it! I got... (SCREAMING)

I got to go buy a set of tires.

I guess I'll keep the score again.

I guess, I didn't treat you much like a king, did I?

I had no idea.

I had to throw that in to close the deal.

I have a big decision to make here, huh?

I have no idea.

I have separated all known dinosaur wisdom into three categories.

I haven't seen television in a month now, and it just doesn't seem so important

I haven't seen you here before.

I hear they once made a guy bite off his own head.

I hear you got your 20th anniversary coming up, Sinclair!

I just got off the phone with Emily Stavis.

I just pass through this house on my way to work.

I just thank God your grandfather's not alive to see this.

I just want you to be proud of me, Dad. Every single day.

I just wanted some fish for myself...

I knew from the day this kid was hatched

I knew it. I told you. "Nothing but trouble," I said.

I knew. I always knew.

I know that. What makes you think I don't know that?

I love my caveman.

I loved that.

I made a big poop.

I mean it. If he offered me one more chance to win that set right now,

I mean she's just a little girl. What is she, seven?

I mean, how long have you known?

I mean, the swamp monster is well within his rights.

I mean, you know, providing that one of you guys is a girl.

I never realized how lovely it could be sitting here with my family,

I paid $8.99 each.

I picked it out by myself for you, just for you.

I promise.

I realize, I'm a tyrannosaurus,

I remember the day when I was initiated down at the Y.

I remember the days when I was a kid, 99 cents they got for a dozen.

I said that we should've stopped at two. How could I have been so foolish?

I said we should've never have a third kid,

I see this as a blessing in disguise.

I see this as our chance to spend time talking to each other.

I see you. (GRUNTS)

I should have shown him the beauty of killing small things.

I should have taken him hunting when he was a kid.

I sold the grapdelites to Mr. Richfield for 73 bucks.

I suppose you have you an amusing remark about my son's affliction?

I think what you need is something to protect you from nature.

I think, if this is what happens, I'm not going out on any more dates.

I thought if I walked home, you'd be asleep.

I thought there must be some ulterior motive.

I told you, two kids, but oh, no.

I try that on my parents all the time and it never works.

I understood. Just give it to me.

I wake up in the vegetable bin,

I walked all the way home.

I wanna know how far this thing has gone.

I want her to still need me.

I want to help them.

I want to sit here and enjoy my dinner

I want to talk at the dinner table. We don't see each other all day,

I want you to go upstairs and talk to him.

I was a wonderful father when they were little kids

I was one of the last girls in my class to get my tail.

I was practicing in the lobby, and it just wasn't happening

I was there.

I was upstairs with Robbie and Charlene's laundry.

I won't bow down to my brother because of a horn growing out of his head.

I wonder where they all went.

I would never trade that for some big TV set.

I wouldn't take it.

I wouldn't take it.

I... I guess they must've run into the woods. (CHUCKLES)

I... I just don't like killing things, all right?

I... I looked at mine. I showed my teeth. I ralphed on my shoes.

I'll come out and kick your big flabby dinosaur butt

I'll come out and kick your big flabby dinosaur butt

I'll just take them home so my son can protect them.

I'll take the question, Buddy.

I'm a little confused about the nature of reality.

I'm back! Mr. Fun! And look, guys, I found the board games.

I'm carnivorous, Daddy. I'll eat anything that moves.

I'm going to see if the tree fell. I'll be back in a couple of days.

I'm going up there and getting my son back.

I'm home.

I'm just not leaving the house anymore. Are we clear?

I'm just sorry that we're gonna be digested now and you won't be able

I'm merely reminding him of his responsibilities

I'm not "not the Mama." I'm your Daddy,

I'm not even worried about Charlene in the least.

I'm not letting you give up on Robbie like this.

I'm not sure I'm ready for this. (GRUNTS)

I'm not talking to you.

I'm sure Robbie doesn't even know what it is.

I'm sure.

I'm the baby. Got to love me.

I'm the baby. Gotta love me.

I'm the daddy. Got to go to work. How about a kiss?

I'm vibrating!

I'm your Green Grocer with this week's specials at the Food Chain.

I'm... I'm sure, she is, sir.

I've been summoned, haven't I?

I've come to be on the game show.

I've decided that these grapdelites are not for sale.

I've got another $23 for your personal dignity.

I've got to be a carnivore.

I've got to find those poor little sweet creatures

I've had it up to here with this "not the Mama."

If he knew you, he never would've left you.

If it's all the same to you, Earl.

If she didn't get them, she'd be very unhappy.

If you and your entire family appear as contestants

If you eat them, there aren't any more... forever.

If you leave this house, I will never talk to you again!

If you think I'm gonna pace these floors for the rest of my life,

If your mother can take the time to kill this dinner,

Imagine running into you here.

Imagine that these are all the g****s in the world.

In our patented Cage of Doom.

In our sudden death round.

In the north, violent volcanoes, including one particularly big boomer,

Incoming!

Incoming!

Incoming!

Into some female walking home by herself thing?

Is that a terrible thing to say?

Is that my wonderful family?

Is that the reason you wanted to be on this show?

Is that too much to ask?

Is this the same nature that gave us,

Is this the same nature that turned you,

Isn't it just the most lovely night outside?

It doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

It was! It was! You can ask anybody! I swear!

It's a good wholesome tradition for a young boy.

It's a rock! It's a rock phone! (LAUGHS)

It's a small world, after all.

It's a social studies paper, and it's not going very well.

It's all my fault, Fran.

It's all, Way Too Complicated! Wednesdays at 8:00.

It's exactly what you said.

It's good to see ya get hurt!

It's good to see ya get hurt!

It's just I don't agree with anything you've ever said.

It's not going to happen!

It's not her tail. 'Cause that would be a female problem.

It's not my tail. I don't care about my tail!

It's our chance to learn together and grow closer as a family.

It's television. They say whatever they want.

It's the food chain, Robert. Love it or leave it.

It's the love between your family...

It's the official scroll with the official red ribbon.

It's unanimous, Fran.

It's what we've always lived by. Bigger eats smaller. It's sacred.

It's your choice.

It's your choice.

Jeez, Dave, I never would have guessed.

Jeez! Oh!

Jeez.

Junior, you hear that?

Just look at this floor. Everyone in Pangaea

Just swing it a little, until you get married.

Just tell me what it is that you have against me,

King?

Labeled "exclusions," you'll find that a meteor is only a meteor

Let me come to you.

Let me tell you something, kid.

Let's all have a good laugh at my family's pain and suffering.

Let's go, junior. Go fast. Let's go. (GRUNTS)

Like the food chain.

Like what?

Like, if a tree falls in the forest

Listen to Mr. Big Shot, fancy pants, top of the food chain.

Little by little, he's eating away at my heart and soul.

Look at these summer slugs. They're big, they're juicy, they're slimy.

Look at this. I'm on TV! (LAUGHING)

Look what Daddy got you.

Look what the teacher wrote.

Look, we're not used to communicating.

Look, you grow a tail, and all of a sudden,

Ma, can we please have dinner? I'm wasting away.

Made quite a meat eater of me.

MALE GRAPDELITE: But just because the teacher

MALE GRAPDELITE: Hmm. FEMALE GRAPDELITE: Hmm.

MALE VOICE 1 ON TV: Dino Netics: The Science of Selling Books.

MALE VOICE 2 ON TV: Pangaea's watching ABC,

MALE VOICE: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

MALE VOICE: Blah, blah, blah, blah... FEMALE VOICE: Blah, blah, blah...

MALE VOICE: No, no. A tangelo is an orange and a peach.

Mama got me ribbon!

MAN ON TV: And if you subscribe to Dinosaur Sports now,

MAN ON TV: Once again, it's time to learn about science

MAN: (ON TV) Free, with your paid subscription to Dinosaur Sports...

MAN: (ON TV) Would you like to own this gorgeous 90 inch stereophonic,

Matches the combination body splash gel,

Maurice, your money's no good here.

MAURICE: Oh, yeah. CHARLENE: I thought so.

May have to suddenly get sensitive to his little girl becoming...

Maybe even take a little trip upstairs and...

Maybe it's how we evolve as dinosaurs.

Me, too.

Meat and vegetables.

Mercy! Oh...

Mine, too, if you think about it.

Misery? Awkwardness?

Mmm hmm.

Mmm, I came here to take you home.

Mmm. Well, perhaps it's just that he believes in you.

Mom, we could talk anytime.

Mom, welcome to the team. (CHUCKLES)

Mom, you said you were the last one in your class to get your tail.

More, more, more! Bonbons! Jelly beans!

More, more! Keep going! Keep it coming! Keep it coming!

Morning, kids. What are you doing?

Morning, kids. What are you doing?

Mother, Father, this is my date, Maurice.

Mother.

Motive? You thought that?

Movies, television.

MR. NEILSON: Chip. And my daughter, Sally, on the end.

Mwah!

My boss wants to meet you. (CHUCKLES)

My dad's a carnivore, my mom's a carnivore.

My deepest personal feelings,

My son.

My wife's happiness means the world to me.

Nah!

Nah...

Nature thinks I'm old enough to make the right decisions.

NEWS ANCHOR: We interrupt Pangaea's Second Funniest Home Injuries

Nice to see you accepting more responsibility.

Nice. (SCOFFS) "Tomato."

No kidding!

No night night.

No one gets out of their chair until we talk to each other like a family.

No one knows this. I didn't even tell your mother this.

No problem. As you can see,

No way!

No, I want longer arms.

No, it doesn't matter. It could never be the same.

No, man. It's a... It's an apricot and a plum.

No, no, no, no. Mommy had nothing to do with it.

No, no, no, no. We need to help you with your paper.

No. Never.

No. The one that looks like Charlene, if Charlene had a tail. Hey!

Nobody else does it like him.

Nonsense, wife of the father of the king. The problems of state never nap.

Not now, Charlene. Dinner's getting cold.

Not that I'm aware of.

Not that you don't have a really nice figure,

Not the Mama.

Not the Mama.

Not the mother! Not the mother!

Not the TV!

Not unless your house was hovering in space at the time it was struck.

Not wanting to open a can of worms here,

Nothing says refreshment like frozen rat on a stick.

Nothing wrong with me at all.

Now watch me, son.

Now, here is Howard Handupme.

Now, here's DNN news correspondent, Howard Handupme.

Now, here's where it gets really interesting.

Now, I'll take care of the son, and you take care of...

Now, some of us might not make it.

Now, suppose that you eat all the g****s.

Now, the most important thing is, always save your double coupons

Now, there's three of them and two of us. We lost, three to two.

Now, they're all moving to the country to become district attorneys.

Now, watch closely.

Now, we're missing the Winkie The Moose Show.

Of course I'd have to split the TV with them.

Of course, I could get in the mood. Couple of cocktails, rub my back...

Of course, she weighed 2,800 pounds, so the roof collapsed.

Of course, we haven't done any tests as of yet.

Of course. The duality of nature dictates

Of the Sinclair baby falls off suddenly.

Off that kid's face! I don't care what it takes, just do it.

Off the top of my head...

Oh, 700 or 800 bucks.

Oh, Charlene, don't you think you're being ridiculous?

Oh, Charlene!

Oh, come on, Dad.

Oh, everything's fine, Daddy. And my life is not that simple,

Oh, Fran, he's just a young fella sowing his wild oats.

Oh, Fran, what if you're right?

Oh, Frannie,

Oh, Frannie, yesterday, she was my sweet little girl

Oh, good. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, gosh, Mr. Richfield, corporations really do that?

Oh, he was big, Fran.

Oh, honey, you have to give the boys more credit.

Oh, I could never afford that.

Oh, I feel fine. There's nothing wrong with me.

Oh, I know!

Oh, I was thinking of taking Connie Desalvo out,

Oh, isn't it beautiful, Ma?

Oh, it's none of our business.

Oh, jeez, Ethel. Put that thing away.

Oh, jeez, they get you coming and going!

Oh, jeez.

Oh, just sitting around the house, watching television, I guess.

Oh, ladies, ladies. Just like to meet the ladies.

Oh, look, Dad, it's Mr. Turtlepuss and the guys from work.

Oh, looky who's here, the three wise guys

Oh, man! I got spit on my neck.

Oh, Mother, you're still mad at them for canceling Thirty Million Something.

Oh, never mind, then.

Oh, no. (CHUCKLES) This is the big one.

Oh, none taken.

Oh, please, I'm a doctor.

Oh, pop 'em in your mouth,

Oh, Robbie, Robbie, Robbie...

Oh, so, then we'll see you at 8:00?

Oh, that could be almost anybody out there.

Oh, that's sweet, Charlene, but it won't change the fact that...

Oh, that's what you want? Well, here's what I want.

Oh, this is vicious!

Oh, uh, I don't feel very hungry.

Oh, wait... Wait a minute.

Oh, we're just going out for ribs, Daddy.

Oh, well I want you to know your daughter's in good hands.

Oh, well, sweetheart.

Oh, what the heck!

Oh, why don't we know any of this stuff? Why aren't we smarter?

Oh, wow. Look at that. Hey! (CHUCKLES) Look at the time.

Oh, yeah! Yay!

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you don't have to eat anything!

Oh! (SCREAMING)

Oh.

Oh. I'm the baby. Gotta love me!

Oh. That was a close one.

Okay, Earl, listen.

Okay, my best buddy in all the world, your turn.

Okay, now, look.

Okay, okay. "What can fish do underwater that dinosaurs can't?"

Okay? First we start to salivate.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. All right, all right. Say, "Dah."

Okay. Um, um...

Okay. Um...

Okay. Well, I've finished my preliminary claim inspection, Mr. Sinclair,

Okay...

Okay... Well, I went to school.

On Ask Mister Lizard.

On last night's episode of Where's My Trousers?,

On television's favorite family game show, The Family Challenge!

One cannot avoid one's destiny, Robert.

One of those big plastic fire trucks with ladders

Ooh, and who is this vision of loveliness?

Ooh, heavy is the head that wears the crown.

Ooh, I'm sure if you'd go $2, dad would go $3.

Ooh! He's not a carnivore, he's a cannibal. (LAUGHS)

Ooh! Now, that is intriguing. Who can build on that?

Ooh! Ooh! Big teeth! Little teeth!

Ooh! You're such a radical!

Ooh.

Ooh.

Ooh. I've never seen anything like that.

Oops.

Oops. (SIGHS)

Or at least until Mom and Dad's anniversary.

Our differences in the past,

Our little girl's all grown up. She's blossomed.

Our little girl's going out on a date.

Our little potentate has subjects to receive,

Overnight from my little girl,

Pangaea's Funniest Home Injuries is only on right now.

Parents and children.

Patient confidentiality

Peasants. (CHUCKLES)

Perhaps that is your destiny.

Perhaps, you'll realize that family is all you really have in the world

Princess Charlene could use some help out there

Put a knife in my head?

Really, really big tube television in our sudden death play off round.

Relax. Look at the bright colors. It's...nice.

Ribbon. Mama got me ribbon! Mama got me ribbon...

Ribs? They deliver ribs. We could have ribs right here.

Robbie isn't one of those radicals.

Robbie, give me the grapdelites.

Robbie, I'm gonna ask you something. I'm gonna ask you straight out.

Robbie, my brother, eaten.

Robbie, the little snack is making sense. The food chain is what we live by.

Robbie, we're the last two g****s.

Robbie, what are our chances if you can't convince your own father?

ROBBIE: Dad! Dad!

ROBBIE: Look, Dad, I don't wanna go hunting.

ROBBIE: Shh, shh, shh.

ROBBIE: You know, one minute the grapdelites were here,

Robbie?

Robert, listen to me, you're not a kid anymore.

Roy, come on in. Glad to see you.

Said that wouldn't be possible, son.

Say it.

Say, "Daddy."

Scientists have specifically pinpointed this particular house

See my bump?

See this, Fran? He's gone. Skipped out. Jee.

See, uh, so... So they got away, you know,

Seeing you on television last night.

Seen this one.

Seven, eight, nine, 10.

Sharing these lovely moments.

She fell right through onto Grandpa Louie, who was cleaning his pipe at the time.

She handles the remote. And my son,

She said that Peter Rubens said

She sent me into the other room to order ribs,

She'd know how much you wanted her to have those grapdelites

She's a ghost with seven interracial ghost children of her own.

She's just a kid, Fran.

She's just a little girl.

She's the annoying part of the family, Fran.

Shh!

Should I throw some food at you?

Shouldn't you be on your way to the store?

Shush.

Sinclair, you dog.

Sing.

So get down here because, ha,

So he can get to know every little bit of you like I do.

So why don't you have children?

So you and Grandpa used to fight like you and me?

So, Dad, you're a guy. What do you think? Swing? Drag? What?

So, I'm sorry if you're angry. But I've made my decision.

So, if you've got relatives there, kiss them goodbye.

So, Mom. When I walk, do I swing it back and forth, or do I just let it drag?

So, Nielsons, what have you been up to since last time?

So, now it's too late.

So, Robbie, you got any big weekend plans?

So, then, uh, what's a tomato and an onion?

So, water is a fruit.

So, what do I do?

So, you're going to look out for me, Daddy?

So, you're saying if we eat them all, there won't be any more.

So... Tuesday night, boys' night out.

Some are oily, and some are dry, and some are in between.

Some dinosaurs are just naturally photogenic.

Someone at school must have given it to him.

Spit, spit, spit.

Square off for an exciting winner take all

Straight flush.

Sure. I guess, if you want to.

Sure. Sure. Step right up.

Surround sound, state of the art, really, really big tube television?

SWAMP MONSTER: Would you two cut it out.

Swamp monster! Teeth! Teeth! So many teeth!

Swamp monsters take days to digest a big meal like Robbie.

Swamp! Swamp! Oh, Swamp! Big monster!

Sweetheart...

Take me out of the refrigerator this time of night, I'll lose my space.

Teenaged Billy throws a party...

Television is responsible for the utter degradation of our society.

Tell her I love her.

Tell me all about you. Let's get to know each other.

Terror! Horror! No one ever comes back.

Thank you both so much. And make sure he eats his cereal.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you. (CHUCKLES) Okay, now, let's meet our families.

Thank you. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, my...

That Diana Longson said that her boyfriend said

That for every benefit, there must be a cost.

That I was the father of a very, very special treasure

That look exactly alike, with the same big teeth.

That mushy stuff makes me nauseous. Cut it out.

That ought to rip the Tigris Euphrates Valley wide open.

That Robbie coughed up critters at his initiation.

That should cover it. (CHUCKLES, MUMBLES)

That size allows the dinosaur almost unlimited benefits.

That someday a dinosaur will be judged not by the content of his lunch box,

That stinks.

That was a long time ago, and I'm sure I handled it with grace and dignity.

That was before we spent those weeks learning together as a family.

That was my answer. I had the right answer

That was ten bucks nicer would certainly increase my chances,

That you could just put,

That your little brother is not with us anymore.

That's a great show!

That's him.

That's it. I hear our prey.

That's me.

That's not real. Real tails don't stand up like that.

That's right. And when you're a little older, Charlene,

That's the grapdelite anniversary, dude.

That's the way it is!

That's why they can't find any more of us.

The 20th anniversary grapdelite dinner.

The Antediluvian Broadcasting Company.

The best friend.

The green menace has crept

The horn, first thought to be a portent of a Golden Age

The horn! It's falling off!

The laws of nature also state that we protect our young, no matter what.

The laws of nature clearly state that... that bigger eats smaller.

The more painful it'll be.

The old dinosaur's like totally herbophobic.

The one thing that gives order to our world.

The point is,

The queen betrayer.

The royal hat rack.

The same thing at his age.

The sweetest tasting, furriest little animals in the world.

The wisdom of the ages handed down from the beginning of time.

The world will be worse off when they're gone.

The year end Tail Issue.

Then I guess you won't need any help with the ancient history questions.

Then she called me a radical.

Then we approach with stealth.

Then you understand?

Then, on We're Not Even Related, But Somehow We're All Living Together...

There are just some things too horrible for you to know. (CRYING)

There are no losers. But let's face it, you stink!

There he is. How's Daddy's little monarch?

There is no price.

There is something I've been thinking about,

There is the matter of my own personal dignity, sir.

There was a book or something. Then I, uh, went to the mall.

There's no time for dinner. You guys are dinner.

There's nothing I'd rather do, Charlene.

There's one hiding under every bed, Fran.

There's the leaf, I remember.

These are the last two grapdelites on Earth.

They arrived on schedule, and I thought the family was complete,

They leave a trail all the way down your throat.

They showed me that there are other creatures in the world, that are...

They trust us to do the right thing, Dad.

They used to be plentiful, but now they're in short supply.

This boy didn't dump you, because he wasn't even dating you.

This is about... (STAMMERS) It's about defiance.

This is not about her. I'm not even thinking about her.

This is nuts. I don't have to answer this.

This stinks.

This was the scene yesterday at the Cave of Destiny.

This, on the other hand, is a very good reason.

This!

Thousands are stunned as today the golden horn

Throw in the rest of the family, then you got yourself a deal!

Time is not the issue, Robert.

To accomplish good in the world.

To adopt seven interracial children.

To be just one of those things.

To eat whatever they want.

To get home from the stupid YMCA?

To granting me a wish.

To have a son who irritates you as much as you irritate me.

To his father. Now be quiet.

To our returning champions, The Nielson family!

To play the world's first and most popular game show,

To rip into some flesh yourself, huh, junior?

To tear stuff limb from limb,

To tell you the truth, I always wanted to play the piano...

Today the king holds court at his parents’ home

TOGETHER: Nothing. (GIGGLING)

Touch the horn and begone.

TV Last Night, Buddy.

TV Last Night...

TV Last Week...

TV Potpourri...

TV...

TV...

Two pair. (LAUGHS)

Uh huh.

Uh, actually, I want to talk to the king for a minute

Uh, as I understand it, now that you're the king,

Uh, but that's a totally different show.

Uh, could you wait a minute? (SCOFFS) Full house. (LAUGHS)

Uh, Daddy did anything come in the mail for me?

Uh, doctor, wait. Uh, you... You won't tell anyone, will you?

Uh, doll house.

Uh, Earl, we're sorry about what we said.

Uh, hey there, pally boy.

Uh, how are we supposed to get so smart so fast?

Uh, I'm Fran Sinclair, homemaker and proud mother of three.

Uh, it still isn't, Dad. There's one more loyal subject out here.

Uh, it's hanging in his closet.

Uh, may... May I be excused?

Uh, no thanks. I'm not looking to munch on any greens.

Uh, not to overstep my bounds or nothing, but could I speak to the king alone?

Uh, nothing. Nothing's wrong with my kid.

Uh, there's always more. That's what "more" means.

Uh, we've come to pay homage to the king.

Uh, yeah, I think so.

Uh, yeah, it's the food chain that got us into this mess.

Uh, yeah, that... that tree.

Uh. No. (CHUCKLES)

Uh. No. (CHUCKLES)

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Hi.

Uh... (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

Uh... Hmm...

Uh... No.

Uh... Oh... Oh, well,

Uh... Uh... (MUNCHING)

Um, good dinner, Mom

Um, Mr. Richfield, but, uh, no amount of money is worth

Uncle Roy!

Uncle Roy?

Until it enters the Earth's atmosphere, at which time it becomes a meteorite.

Very funny, very funny.

Volcanoes and earthquakes and human beings?

Wait, wait, wait. Where are you taking my little girl?

Want a fire truck?

Want to go night night.

Way to save your dad's life. (LAUGHS)

We are not sawing off a piece of our child's head.

We don't believe this is a safe world to bring up children.

We don't have to talk about this for years.

We don't talk that way about the Young Males' Carnivore Association

We have got to save him.

We have to talk to Charlene about her tail.

We know it's not an animal. Therefore, fruit is a rock.

We never found the pipe, but Grandpa Louie walked funny after that.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled program.

We planned for them,

We should do more things together as a family.

We'll take care of your little friends.

We're about to be digested.

We're dinosaurs. We're ferocious.

We're going to need another Timmy.

We're going to need another Timmy.

We're gonna have lunch.

We're gonna need another Timmy.

We're gonna need another Timmy.

We're just preparing Charlene for her first date.

We're not gonna get any money, are we?

We've been accepted as contestants On The Family Challenge,

We've been canceled.

We've done nothing but watch television our whole lives.

We've lost the art of conversation.

Welcome back to Pangaea's Funniest Home Injuries.

Well that's 'cause you can't find 'em around much anymore.

Well, actually I was thinking more like a machine gun.

Well, all I want to do is add a second story to my garage,

Well, as you can see, we've got ourselves an active supercontinent this morning.

Well, at least he's interested in something.

Well, because it was the most humiliating experience of my life.

Well, Buddy...

Well, Earl Sinclair, it looks like you've lost that beautiful grand prize

Well, Earl, what will it be?

Well, for us, yes. But if you refer to that large bound volume we sent you

Well, he did eat a lot of sugar this morning.

Well, hey! I don't know. Nothing planned, no agenda.

Well, how much would you say your television set was worth?

Well, I always kind of suspected.

Well, I can certainly see where Charlene gets her good looks.

Well, I think it's time to take a dip in the old secretarial pool.

Well, I thought I was on to something.

Well, I'm not angry, Sinclair. I'm... I'm appalled.

Well, I'm not sure your transparent generosity

Well, if you want me to.

Well, introduce us to your family, would you?

Well, it's not necessarily hereditary.

Well, judging from its size and its color, mmm...

Well, maybe it's okay if sons

Well, maybe not as important as dinosaurs, but it's important that they be here.

Well, maybe not as important as dinosaurs, but it's important that they be here.

Well, maybe the YMCA just isn't right for you.

Well, maybe we could make it safer for you and your children.

Well, not everybody's cut out to be a carnivore, Rob.

Well, not the Mama,

Well, of course I waited up. What do you think?

Well, she wrapped it, but Daddy bought it with money from his back breaking job.

Well, Sinclairs, we always like to say here on The Family Challenge,

Well, Sinclairs, you've got one more chance to win this 90 inch surround sound,

Well, so did I, but I don't look like a freak of nature.

Well, that's not gonna happen to me. I'm a dinosaur! Whoa!

Well, that's not necessary, sir.

Well, that's the only present she's gonna get.

Well, that's valuable, too.

Well, that's very easy to say now that there's no chance of winning.

Well, the first rule of having a tail is,

Well, the world, magazines,

Well, then I guess we're off.

Well, there's certainly no denying

Well, Timmy, what do you think would happen

Well, uh, I guess it was somewhere right around here.

Well, we get to eat whoever we want. Uh, no offense.

Well, what do you want me to do, Frannie?

Well, who does?

Well, why do I have to be anything? I have a dream

Well, you guys should try to escape or something. Uh...

Well, you know how he feels about us.

Well, you know, I'm used to being embarrassed

Well, you know, something that will teach us to nurture

Well, you may have some kind of mystical powers

Well, your... Your son may be well intentioned,

Well... Well..

What am I going to do?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What did Bernie find hanging in his closet?

What do you mean, "No more food"?

What do you think it is?

What do you think, I asked him for his card?

What do you think, kids?

What exactly is this blessing disguised as, Fran?

What happened in school today, Robbie?

What I learned is that my kids are smart enough

What the heck is that?

What was that?

What, you mean the woolly one with the tusks?

What?

What?

What?

What? Oh, no, man! Ah! I touched my sister's tail.

What'd you do, buy the variety pack?

What's it gonna be, Robbie?

What's so great about tails anyway?

What's the opposite of a vegetable? Fruit.

When Delores and Stan go out for the evening,

When I had short little stubby arms.

When I only had two kids.

When I was 14, I...

When individuals put their trust in corporations.

When these grapdelites are gone, baby, they're gone.

When you really stop to think about it, is a tail really that important?

Where are the children, Fran?

Where are you going?

Where did you get that, Ethyl?

Where we can train him in the manner of a ruler.

Which if she did, we wouldn't discuss it in front of the son.

Which leaves us 30 days to absorb all the knowledge in the world.

Which she isn't a female yet, so she doesn't have a problem.

Which we have previously established as a vegetable.

Whichever one of you, uh, might be a girl. (CHUCKLES)

While daughter decisions were being made.

Who ate Robbie?

Who needs you?

Who still has her stupid little stub?

Who would seek an audience with their king.

Who've come to make some humorous affliction remarks about my son,

Whoa!

Whoa! How am I doing? Do I look good?

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoo whoo! Chugga, chugga... Whoo whoo!

Why am I the only one willing to fight for it?

Why do I always get picked last for the bowling team?

Why don't you check it out with me sometime.

Why haven't we reached our full potential? What has held us back?

Why should I care that I'm the only girl I know,

Why?

With the Nielsons leading at 3,460, and the Sinclairs at five.

Won't be long before you get the urge

Worrying about you out there in the world, little missy, you can forget it.

Would one of you watch your brother while I'm upstairs?

Wow! (GASPS) It's a phone!

Yay!

Yay!

Yeah, but that was different. He was always wrong.

Yeah, but the teacher thinks it's right.

Yeah, hi.

Yeah, I am.

Yeah, I did.

Yeah, I guess I am.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, tell that to my dad. He'll never let me live this down.

Yeah, thanks, Roy old buddy.

Yeah, that's right, little girl.

Yeah, we didn't mean anything.

Yeah, well, a monarch's work is never done.

Yeah, well, there's some dinosaurs that reject the food chain.

Yeah, well, those guys are breaking new ground every week.

Yeah, well, what difference does it make what I eat anyway?

Yeah, you know... You know, it's tough being a tyrannosaurus.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. A little wine, candlelight, and...

Yeah. But I wouldn't worry. A guy your size could sit here for days

Yeah. Hey, are you in, Earl?

Yeah. Hey, I'm going tonight.

Yeah. I got a great kid.

Yeah. I'll give you $2 if you keep your mouth shut, okay?

Yeah. Some carnivore I turned out to be.

Yeah. There's the place.

Yeah. They're a rare delicacy now.

Yeah. Well, maybe that's the law of nature.

Yeah. Yeah, well, I was carnivorous until a few days ago.

Yeah... (SCREAMS)

Yello? Yeah? Sounds great!

Yes, we are.

Yes, yes, yes!

Yes! But only at first.

Yes. If that doesn't show faith in you, I don't know what does.

Yo, look here, Chucky, just because you can't sleep,

You and I will eat dinner together like a civilized family.

You and your wife will probably look each other in the eye

You are not going out on any more dates.

You can either test your knowledge with one more TV question

You can take the time to eat it.

You can't give them to Mr. Richfield.

You can't make me.

You defy me every chance you get.

You don't eat what I want you to eat, you don't think what I want you to think.

You don't give 'em to me, I'm gonna bite off your head.

You either answer me or you go to your room.

You get all that great sports action, plus every guy's favorite...

You go home with this perfectly lovely 13 inch portable set.

You got the nerve to put the squeeze on me?

You gotta have more faith in your old man, Charlene.

You guys can help me with my homework every day,

You have almost no chance of getting right. Or...

You just hang out and meet some of the herbivore girls.

You just pour it into the blender there while I get behind this lead shield.

You know, a fully fledged adult tomato.

You know, before me, nobody knew what you guys had to offer.

You know, Earl, I had something funny happen to me today.

You know, in situations like this...

You know, it's possible to get nutrition from vegetables.

You know, she looks little like Charlene if Charlene had a tail.

You know, when you first came up with the idea of us going on a game show,

You made all this mess?

You mean, like a father?

You might just have the last two in the world there,

You need the horn to be the king. Without the horn, you'll just be my son.

You only get one 20th anniversary, and if I sell you my grapdelites,

You see, Frannie? This is what dating should be.

You seem to have a keen sense of moral responsibility.

You sold Mom's anniversary gift?

You stink at this, Sinclair.

You think it could be television?

You told us to play with him.

You want her to be alone all her life?

You want me to cut you some slack? Well, all you gotta do is eat him.

You wanted to see me, my captain?

You were new. You were my third child,

You who uses ribs to manipulate others!

You will always be my son.

You're a good friend of the court after all.

You're making me sick to my stomach.

You're one of them? Are you sure?

You're talking about our family, Earl.

You're wasting your time, Moronasaurus.

You've done the right thing. Um, uh, buy yourself something nice.

Your grandpa was less evolved. He was a wild dinosaur.

Your Highness...

Your mother and I aren't too old that we still can't learn a thing or two.

Your mother just hasn't come to terms with the fact

Your mother made me.

Your tail will come when it comes,

Your Uncle Elmo. The one they never talk about.

Your whole species is at stake.

Yum, yum. $1.95 a pound.

Yutz.

90 inch color television set.

...charcoal, and sulfur? Ah

"To Charlene Sinclair..." Yeah, uh huh.

(ALL CHUCKLING) Television's our life.

(ALL GASP) I'll take the curtain, Bob.

(ALL LAUGHING) Oh, yeah. That's rich.

(AUDIENCE CHEER) (SALLY CHUCKLES)

(BABY CHUCKLES) (EARL CHUCKLES)

(BABY GRAPDELITES COOING) ROBBIE: Huh? (CHUCKLES)

(BABY GRAPDELITES COOING) Robbie...

(BABY GRAPDELITES MEWLING) (ROBBIE CHUCKLING)

(BABY GRAPDELITES MUMBLE) ROBBIE: Oh, my...

(BABY GRAPDELITES MUMBLING) (ROBBIE CHUCKLES)

(BABY GRUNTS) (EARL GROANS)

(BABY LAUGHING) You're doing fine.

(BABY SINCLAIR CHUCKLING) (GRAPDELITES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

(BABY SINCLAIR COOS) Dad promised me a dollar if I found them.

(BABY SINCLAIR LAUGHS, GROWLS) (LAUGHS, GROANS)

(BABY VOCALIZING) You love your caveman, don't you?

(BOTH GROAN) What an unpleasant coincidence.

(BOTH LAUGH) (EARL GASPS, CONTINUES LAUGHING)

(BOTH LAUGH) Well, Timmy,

(BOTH LAUGHING) (CLEARS THROAT)

(BUZZER BUZZES) Ah, Sinclairs.

(BUZZER BUZZES) Boy, are you way off!

(CHARLENE GASPS) (BABY LAUGHING)

(CHARLENE SIGHS) (BABY GRUNTS)

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) BUDDY: Hey, thank you.

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Whoa!

(CHILDREN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) We don't get that much time together

(CHUCKLES, MUMBLES) (EARL GROANING)

(CHUCKLES, MUMBLES) (EARL GROANING)

(CHUCKLES) (FRAN CHUCKLES, HUMS)

(CHUCKLES) (GASPS) Oh.

(CHUCKLES) But... But, Mom.

(CHUCKLES) See?

(CHUCKLES) Fran. Daddy.

(CHUCKLES) Well... But now I see it for what it is.

(CONTINUES GRUNTING) (THUDDING)

(COOS) (ROBBIE CHUCKLING)

(CRACKLING) Huh?

(CRUNCHING) (GASPS)

(DOOR CLOSES) Why don't you just

(DOOR OPENS) Oh, Earl.

(DOORBELL RINGS) (GASPS) Oh, that's for me.

(DOORBELL RINGS) Oh, it's the boys! It's the boys!

(EARL CHEWING) And cut that out.

(EARL CONTINUES SOBBING) Aw, Dad.

(EARL GASPS) (BABY SCREAMS)

(EARL GASPS) What makes you think my husband and I

(EARL GRUNTING, BLOWS RASPBERRIES) Dad, Dad, come on, cut it out.

(EARL GRUNTS) (ROBBIE CHUCKLES)

(EARL LAUGHING) Ooh! Ooh!

(EARL SOBBING) Yeah. I'll practice on Charlene.

(EARL SOBS) That's not a good reason, Earl.

(EARL SOBS) Yes, it grew in last night.

(EARL WHIMPERING) Dad. Dad!

(EARL WHIMPERING) I don't believe it.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) (YELLING)

(FRIDGE CREATURES YELLING) Juice!

(GASPS) (BURBLES)

(GASPS) (GASPS) Shouldn't you be hiding us?

(GASPS) (GROANS)

(GASPS) Yeah!

(GASPS) An "F"? Oh. (GASPS) An "F"?

(GASPS) Earl! Don't Earl me.

(GASPS) Oh, careful. (GASPS) Hey.

(GRAPDELITES MUTTERING) (ROBBIE CLEARS THROAT, CHUCKLES)

(GRAPDELITES MUTTERING) Huh? Oh, sorry. I didn't see you.

(GROANS) (BABY SINCLAIR CHUCKLES)

(GRUMBLES) They're for my wife.

(GRUNTS, LAUGHS) Ooh!

(GRUNTS) Who are you?

(IMITATES KISSING) (CHUCKLES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV CONTINUES) (CHARLENE MUNCHING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER) (GUITAR PLAYING)

(KISSES) Yeah, thanks.

(LAUGHING ON TV) He told me how much fun it was

(LAUGHING) (ETHYL LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING) EARL: All right,

(LAUGHING) Ha! (LAUGHING)

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Hey, sit down!

(LAUGHS) Charlene, I'm gonna bite your head off!

(LAUGHS) Now you got a son and a hat rack.

(LAUGHS) Again! What?

(MEWLING) Huh?

(PHONE RINGING) Hmm?

(RINGING CONTINUES) What? The rock is ringing!

(ROBBIE CHUCKLES) Charlene!

(ROBBIE CHUCKLES) My son.

(ROBBIE EXCLAIMS) (BOTH LAUGH)

(ROBBIE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) You're a carnivore, Robert.

(ROBBIE LAUGHS) EARL: Oh.

(ROBBIE SIGHS) (EARL SCREAMS)

(RUMBLING) (THUD)

(SCOFFS) (SIGHS)

(SIGHS) (DOOR CLOSES)

(SIGHS) Chugga, chugga, chugga...

(SIGHS) Fran, I want that thing

(SIGHS) Son, you and I have had

(SIGHS) That's the way it's always been.

(SIGHS) There, there. Chugga, chugga...

(SINCLAIRS CHUCKLING) Yay!

(SOBBING) Fran. Fran. Where's Robbie?

(SWAMP MONSTER GROWLING) Huh?

(TIMER BEEPS) An isosceles triangle!

(WHIMPERS) Kill him, Daddy.

(WHISTLE BLOWING) EARL: Yeah!

(YAWNS) BABY: Whee!

$10,000. Hmm?

A ha! Shh.

about this cave of old guys? Yeah

Again! (GASPS)

All right, all right. (CLINKING)

All right! Yeah. Right on.

all up and down the supercontinent! (EARL SIGHS)

ALL: Yay! (BUZZER BUZZES)

and accept our fate. No!

and get some. But those were all the g****s

and hoses that squirt. Gimme!

and make the most... (SIGHS)

And still, he gave us to you willingly. Mmm hmm. Willingly.

And that frightens you. Nothing frightens me, Fran.

And that's what I want. (PLATES CLATTER)

And the Nielsons are our winners again! (CHEERING)

And this delightful lovely is? Yay, yay, yay!

And you don't do what I want you to do. (SIGHS)

Another shower, Dad? Yeah. Ten more oughta do it.

Any minute now. Mmm hmm. Yes.

Any words of wisdom? Date?

Are you carnivore, herbivore, or what? (EARL SIGHS)

around the woods unprotected. Aw.

around the woods unprotected. Aw.

as a family and... Ma, you're thinking too hard.

at approximately... Don't try and cheat me on this,

Aw, gee. And now they're running

Aw, gee. And now they're running

Aw, your daddy just needs... (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

Aw. (EARL GROANS)

Aw. (FRAN GASPS)

Babies. Babies. (BABY GRAPDELITES COOING)

BABY SINCLAIR: (LAUGHS) Again! Okay, here.

BABY SINCLAIR: Mama got me ribbon! (GRUNTS)

BABY: Again! (DISHES CLATTERING)

BABY: What? Oh, no, no! Come on, Dad,

BABY: Whee! Huh?

BABY: Yay! (LAUGHING)

Because it's wrong. Hmm.

Because we're delicious. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS)

before heading south. (SWAMP MONSTER STOMACH GURGLES)

BOTH: Cool. Yeah.

BOTH: Hmm. Yeah, that really bites, doesn't it?

BOTH: Say it. (EXPLODING

BOTH: What? Uh, maybe I didn't explain this.

Bottle! Not till night night.

Bowling! Yeah! Yeah.

Bring it up. Yay!

but by the quality of his character. (ALL CHEER, APPLAUD)

But I want a tail. Look, sweetheart,

But no. (BABY IMITATING TRAIN)

Bye. BABY SINCLAIR: Bye.

Bye. Bye bye.

Cage of Doom! Uh...

Cage of Doom... Well, Earl Sinclair, what will it be?

caveman ninja teenage thingies. (BABY SINCLAIR COOING)

Charlene, you are now my son. Thanks, Daddy.

CHARLENE: (LAUGHING) What? Charlene, stop.

CHARLENE: Oh, Dad. Robbie, Charlene,

CHARLENE: Oh, oh, oh, oh. (ROBBIE HUMMING)

Charlene? Why not?

Come on, come on. WORKER: Get out of the tree,

Come on, come on. WORKER: Get out of the tree.

Coochie coo. CHARLENE: Cute.

Cookies! (FRIDGE CREATURES YELLING)

could you give us a moment, please? Sure.

CREATURE: Hey! Turn out that light! Sorry.

Dad, I don't wanna. Eat him!

Dad! (GROANS) Jeez! Okay, everyone. We can eat now.

Daddy. Daddy.

Dah. Say, "Dee."

Dah... Dah...

Dee. Dee.

Do you have any? FEMALE GRAPDELITE: What?

Don't start it on me. What I... What'd I say?

Don't touch that dial. (CLICKS)

Don't you agree? Don't you agree?

Don't you get out of that chair! Uh...

Earl, tell me about your day. I don't want to.

EARL: Oh, no. Hey, Charlene,

EARL: What? Uh, I think that's our house!

Earl. Well, what do you need to go out for?

Earl... (SNIFFLES)

Easiest money I ever made. Yeah, yeah. Fine. Just get out.

Eat his head, fat boy. We'll bet it all, Bob.

ELDER 1: Oh, no. (INHALES) Son!

ELDER 1: Silence! You got it!

ELDER 2: Behold he is about to speak! Huh.

ELDER 2: Did you see that? ELDER 3: What this means?

ELDER 3: Two minutes. Oh! Uh...

ELDER 3: You have three minutes. I know you!

Especially delicious children. Mmm hmm.

Everybody's talking about radishes... (SINGING CONTINUES)

Everyone can pick what they want. EARL: You hear that kids?

FEMALE GRAPDELITE: Mmm? Hmm. Okay.

FEMALE GRAPDELITE: Mmm. A ha.

FEMALE GRAPDELITE: Oh, no. Stanley Kravitz got an "A."

Fine. I'll leave. I'll go with you.

First juice. Then cereal?

Food for thought. Thought from food.

for this special news bulletin. EARL: Oh, jeez, hurry up.

For what? (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)

Fran, I forgot how much I enjoyed TV. Uh huh.

Fran, I'm calling you. BABY: Yahoo!

FRAN: Earl, is that you? (GASPS, GROANS)

FRAN: What's new with you? Shh! Move.

FRAN: Yeah. So, then

FRAN: Yes! Right on. (LAUGHING)

Fran! What?

Fran! What?

Fran! What's missing? What?

Fran! Yes! Give me a big, wet one.

Fran. What?

Frannie... Did you find Robbie?

Franny! Daddy!

FRIDGE CREATURE: What do you want? Ice cream!

Gee, Mr. Lizard, nothing's happening. Well, Timmy, maybe we need

Geez! What else did I miss? Oh, wait.

Get out of here. Have a good time. Oh! Oh, thanks, Mom.

Glad it didn't happen to me. Touchy, touchy.

Go away. EARL: Whoa, whoa!

Go deep! I can reach you. Go deep! (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Good night, Earl. (GASPS)

Good. Then we can have dinner. (CRYING)

Gosh! Geez! I gotta shower. You know, Charlene,

Guess not. Charlene is too young to have a tail.

Ha ha! Stupid.

Happy anniversary. (MUFFLED GROAN) Shh. Shh. Uh...

he brings me chips. Hi.

He gets it from your side, Fran. What?

He loves me. Listen to him. Daddy, Daddy.

He remembers me! Not the mama!

Herbo! Herbo! Where did you learn that language?

Here you go. Thank you.

Here? Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey! There's my carnivore. Oh. Oh. Dad! Dad! Dad!

Hey, hey. Will you just eat him... (GROANS)

Hey, is it true what they say? Oh, yeah. About the chlorophyll?

Hey, we're... we're hugging down here. We're hugging.

Hey, we're... we're hugging down here. We're hugging.

Hey! I got a family. Ah, yeah!

Hey. Come here. Come here. Hey, Robert, is this true?

Hi, Daddy. Oh, hi, princess.

Hi, Daddy. Yeah, yeah.

Hi. (GASPS) Oh.

Hide these from your mom. ROBBIE: Huh?

His optimism is encouraging. Mmm. But is it justified?

Hiya. ELDER 1: Silence!

Hmm? Oh, well, I don't know. Let me check.

Hmm. Now, now. Who should I tell first?

Hmm. Oh, dear. Oh. Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.

How did you handle it? Oh, well...

How hot was it? (CLICKS)

How much? Oh, well, a dinner

How was your day, dear? Saw it off, Fran, saw it off, right now

how we're too wise eat all the g****s. BOTH: Mmm hmm, Mmm hmm.

Howard Handupme. Good evening.

Huh? (CHARLENE ROARS)

Huh? (EARL RETCHING)

Huh? ELDER 3: I have come for the child.

Huh? For me and your mom's anniversary.

Huh? He seems distressed.

Huh? I love you.

Huh? Robbie, grapdelites. See?

Huh? What?

Huh? You wanna meet me there?

Huh. (MEWLING)

I am not cleaning this up. (BABY BURBLES)

I don't know what came over me. Ah!

I don't know. Come on, come on. It'll be great!

I don't see why not. Oh, thanks.

I go to this veggie place across town. Mmm hmm.

I got the last two. Great.

I got to go upstairs. I got to go upstairs! Wait, wait..

I happen to be in a delightful mood. Kiss the baby.

I hate those. RICHFIELD: Sinclair!

I heard you coming. Ow.

I hope it's nothing we've done. "Why dinosaurs rule the earth."

I like it. I'm tough, but I'm fair.

I mean, what did he ever do to me? He was smaller.

I really appreciate it, Dad. Huh? (COUGHING, RETCHES)

I still might be. I haven't decided. (MOANS)

I think he understands. Ah.

I want to hold her and read her stories. (DOOR OPENS)

I'll get to it. (SIGHS)

I'm embarrassing you? (ROBBIE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

I'm finding my rhythm. (CHUCKLES)

I'm gonna search his room. Earl, stop it.

I'm just telling her what's what. And I'm telling her what's right.

I'm not even hungry. Put him in your mouth and chew!

I'm the female. MALE GRAPDELITE: Mmm.

I've been standing here 16 hours. ELDER 3: What do you want from me?

if we mixed potassium nitrate... Ooh.

In here. Now! (PANTS)

In my professional opinion? Yes.

in the world. Well, then I'll eat something else.

in this house, little girl. Oh...

into our very home. (GROANS)

into simple words. Oh!

is acceptable to the king. Yes, it is.

Isn't this the Cave Deli? It's the Cave of Destiny.

it would have to be... NIELSONS: Ah...

It's because of us, you know. MALE GRAPDELITE: Mmm.

It's Charlene. (SHREWS SCREAMING)

It's disguised as mind numbing boredom! (CLATTERS)

It's from Dad. Ribbon!

It's his turn. Hey! I watched him yesterday.

It's like a horn. Yes, in a way.

It's not? I want those grapdelites!

It's possible. No, not for me it isn't.

It's real! Uh, real!

It's very important. Yes, very.

It's your choice, Earl Sinclair. (CLANKING)

Jeez, more of the same. (REMOTE CLICKS)

Juice? Thanks, no.

Kiss the doll. Oh, sure. (KISSES)

Leave me alone! Oh, I'm sorry.

Let me see! Where? How did it happen?

Let me see. Okay, "Water," uh... (SIGHS)

Let's hear it for the Sinclairs. (CHEERING)

Let's play. (GRUNTS) (BOTH LAUGH)

Let's see! Let's see! Look, it's one of those mutant ninja

Like 'em. You do?

Like you. You do?

MALE GRAPDELITE: Hmm? He wrote, "Because we're big."

MALE GRAPDELITE: Hmm. Um, yeah. So?

MALE GRAPDELITE: Mmm hmm. Well, I'll... I'll go to the market

MALE GRAPDELITE: Mmm. Uh, how can that be?

MALE GRAPDELITE: Mmm. What?

MALE GRAPDELITE: Uh, oh. Boy... (CHUCKLES) Hey.

MALE GRAPDELITE: Uh, oh. Boy... (CHUCKLES) Hey.

MALE GRAPDELITE: You first. Oh.

Me, too. (MOANS)

Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm. Mmm.

Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm Why is it good to be big?

Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm. One can try.

Mmm mmm. Ah, leave me alone.

Mmm, boy. My grand kids love them. Wow!

Mmm. So, I'm just being stupid?

Mmm... (SID SIGHS)

Mmm... (SMOOCHES) And let's say hello

Mom! Right away, Fran. (CHUCKLES) My treat.

Mom! Mom! Come on, kids, that's enough.

Mom? Mom!

Mom. Earl, you go into the kitchen,

Money well spent. (BOTH LAUGHING)

More! You finished your bottle, dear.

MR. NEILSON: What's his name, dear? Chip.

must've trooped through this room. Hmm.

My boy. Charlene!

My contractor is going to be so thrilled. ELDER 1: Four thousand seventy eight.

My sister... Boy, is she a carnivore. Yeah. Yeah.

My thighs are hardly touching. Don't exaggerate, dear.

Nah. Huh? Huh? (GASPS) Yeah, look!

Nah... Not the Mama.

Nice girls don't swing. So boys like that?

Night night. No night night.

No cereal. Juice. First cereal, then juice.

No, it's not. No, no. Not if you don't know the answer yet.

No, that's not it at all. Yeah. It's the wrong pot, isn't it?

No. Ah, gee, too bad.

No. They're crazy for it.

No. You know, my son tried

Not Mommy, Daddy. From Mama?

Nothing. ROY: Oh.

Nothing's going on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now come on! (ROBBIE STAMMERS)

Now we're suffering the consequences. (CLOCK DINGING)

Now, why do dinosaurs rule the earth? MALE GRAPDELITE: Hmm.

of a goodnight kiss. Here you go, son.

of a supernatural nature. Hi, Uncle Roy.

Of course, son. Oh.

of this horned child? (STAMMERING) Uh...

Oh, and what about my self respect? I think we've taken care of that.

Oh, Charlene Sinclair. (CHUCKLES) Of course you are.

Oh, I love you, daddy wuddy wuddy. (SWAMP MONSTER GROANS)

Oh, I understand. EARL: Good.

Oh, I'm so happy for you. Oh, Mom.

Oh, isn't it wonderful, Earl? (CHARLENE SIGHS HAPPILY)

Oh, just about every one of them, Buddy. (LAUGHING)

Oh, lookee here. Yeah.

Oh, no! What is it, Dad?

Oh, oh, oh. I know.

Oh, oh. Huh?

Oh, pleased to meet you. (CHUCKLES) (MALE GRAPDELITE CHUCKLES)

Oh, this is good. They had a booth... (GROANS)

Oh, well, you rule the world. A world without g****s.

Oh, whoa. But... but... but...

Oh, yeah. Did I miss anything? You kidding?

Oh, yes, you are. What?

Oh! (LAUGHING)

Oh. (BOTTLE CLATTERS)

Oh. It'll keep your brother off the streets

Oh. Ooh.

Oh. What did he do to you?

Okay, I'm coming, Fran. (SIGHS) Boy!

Okay, now what? Now, suppose you want g****s tomorrow.

Okay, okay, okay. Yeah. (CHUCKLES) (GRAPDELITES GROANING)

Okay. Oh, dear.

on a dinosaur's lips. Huh?

On video? In my life.

Ooh, yeah, yeah

Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh! The innocence of children. Ooh. (CHUCKLES)

Ooh. Daddy? ROBBIE: Yeah.

Ooh. How about your father? MALE GRAPDELITE: Hmm.

Or maybe he doesn't. (GROANS)

OTHERS: Oh! You got grapdelites?

Prince Robert? Yeah, Dad?

Really? Yeah.

Robbie give me my... (GRUNTS) (ROBBIE LAUGHING)

Robbie, ask me another one. Dad, you haven't gotten one right yet.

Robbie, give it to me! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Robbie, go to your room. Go on, son.

ROBBIE: A ha. (CHUCKLES) (BABY GRAPDELITES COOING)

ROBBIE: Aw! (EARL SOBBING)

ROBBIE: Huh? Daddy.

ROBBIE: Huh? We're all the same in a stomach.

ROBBIE: Mmm. (FEMALE DINOSAUR GIGGLES)

ROBBIE: My old man's gonna kill me. DAVE: It's no big deal, dude.

ROBBIE: Oh. Hi there.

ROBBIE: Right. Huh.

ROBBIE: Uh oh. (GASPS) Whoa! That's your father.

ROBBIE: Wow. (BABY GRAPDELITES COOING)

Robbie. (GASPS)

Robbie. Hmm? Oh, yeah.

Robert Mark Sinclair! (GASPS, YELPS) Uh, Dad! Uh...

Rows and rows and rows of teeth! (CRYING) All right. We'll go and get him.

Roy, you're a tyrannosaurus. What are you saying?

ROY: Oh. The last two they had.

Salsa! (BOTH LAUGH)

She tried to throw herself off the roof. Mother!

She's 12, Earl. Well, seven, 12.

Shut up! (BABY CRYING)

Sinclair! (ALL GASP)

So try an illustration. Of course.

So, did I leave anything out, Stump? (GROWLING)

So, Earl, how was your day? Yes, dear, whatever you say.

So, kids, what's new in school? Sure, Mom.

So, the ten bucks paid off after all. (EARL LAUGHS)

So? Well, sometimes child grows up,

Something bothering you there, princess? Nothing's bothering me.

Sorry, there. Well, no offense.

Spices from the north. Silk from the east.

Sure, Buddy. This is my wife, Gladys. Hello.

taking this away from my wife. (GRUMBLES)

Television set? (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

Tell him what he's won, Bob. (CLICKS)

Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Dad.

Thanks, Dr. Doug. (LAUGHING)

That would be the cost. Mm hmm. Mmm hmm.

That's what he did to you! (GROANS)

That's what you had in mind all along? No, no, no! No!

The cage or the question? Cage of Doom!

The Family Challenge. (AUDIENCE CHEERING)

The unbridled spirit of youth. Yeah.

Then you can put it away. Okay.

Then you're the guy for the job. (EARL GRUMBLES)

They belong to him. Really. (SIGHS DEEPLY)

They blended me... (GROANING)

They're all for me. Yeah, yeah.

This concludes our broadcast day. (CLICKS)

This is it, boy. Bon appétit. Oh.

This is not about eating. (GROANS)

to me anymore. Aw.

to put some light on the subject. Ooh!

Tomato? Who are you talking about? Uh, someone else entirely.

Ugh, seen this one, too! EARL: As you know,

Ugh, seen this one. (ROBBIE SCATTING)

Uh oh. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Well, it's happened, Frannie.

Uh, got to go. Junior, hold it in.

Uh, got to go. No! No!

Uh, let me explain. You see I, uh... Not another word.

Uh, no. Then tuck me in.

Uh, watching the baby. Me, too

Uh, well, I, uh... (SIGHS) We've lost him.

Uh. I love children.

Uh... (GRAPDELITES SHUSHING)

Uh... Robbie.

Uh... Uh, Dad... Uh...

Uncle Roy? Yeah?

until I read this. (EXCLAIMS)

Upstairs playing with your dolls? Um, yeah, sure.

Want me to get my staple gun? Hey!

We are getting out of here. Uh...

We are the grapdelites. Who are you? Yes.

we can figure this out! Oh, yeah, we used to watch TV.

We can't breathe underwater? Nope.

We got a reputation, son. (SIGHS)

We should write letters. Mom.

We'll be right back. (CLICKS)

We'll see. (FRAN SIGHS)

We're merciless. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've offended him. What's your paper about?

Well, I'll just go over here. ROY: Hmm.

Well, isn't your anniversary coming up? Yeah. So?

Well, okay. He's here. (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Well, that's fine with me. Then we're in complete agreement.

Well, we brought gifts. Yeah?

Well, what about fire? Vegetable.

Well, what does it mean? It means... (GULPS)

Well, what if the teacher's wrong? Yeah, right.

What a day I'm having. (SWAMP MONSTER STOMACH GURGLES)

What about water? Water is the opposite of fire,

What have I done? What have I done? "...and his infant son."

What is it? Pangaea's Second Funniest Home Injuries.

What? Get a life.

What? They're my favorite food, Sinclair!

What? You wanna go on it with the family?

What? Oh... Yeah.

What'd you do? I ate him.

What's going on? Oh! Oh, Charlene! Charlene! No. No.

What's it gonna be? Hey, how about bowling?

What's that? Oh. Swamp monster.

Where are you going? The roof.

Where the hell have you been? (SNIFFLES) Hi, Daddy.

Where? Oh, and down there...

Whoa ho. Beep beep. (HORN HONKING)

Whoa! Boy! What a blow to your teacher. Whoa! Yes. Oh.

Whoa. Hey, hey, hey.

Whoa. You mean... Yeah. We got eaten. I was the appetizer.

Why do you always do this to me? (GROANS, COUGHS) I can't breathe, Dad.

Why? EARL: Robbie!

Why? Well,

Why? Whee! (GRUNTS)

with a clip from his new blockbuster... (EXPLOSION)

Wow! (BABY GRAPDELITES MUMBLING)

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! And that ends round two,

Wrong. Breathe. (SIGHS)

Yay! (STAMMERS)

Yay! Ha! Finished your cereal?

Yeah, well, you know what we call them? Earl, not at the table.

Yeah, yeah, we all got problems. (GROANS) Oh, please.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh! (SCREAMS)

Yeah? They're not as shallow as all that.

Yeah. ...I feel kind of... hungry.

Yeah. (CHUCKLES) Makes them wild!

Yeah. (GROANS, CLICKS TONGUE)

Yeah. (SIGHS) Including me.

Yeah. I got to get a new TV!

Yeah. I love the smell of lettuce

Yeah. Just forget it.

Yeah. Let go of my son, you pea pusher.

Yeah. Perhaps we should turn ourselves in

Yeah. Yes, sir.

Yeah. (CHUCKLES) (SNORES)

Yeah. I do. Well, you're wrong.

Yeah. Yeah. MALE GRAPDELITE: Mmm.

Yes, ma'am. Look, there's something bothering you.

Yes! Well, you could,

Yes. Who says so?

You belong with your own kind. ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah. Fine. Okay, Dad.

You got it! ELDER 1: Are you the father

you got something stuck to your butt. EARL: Oh.

You got spit up, too? Yep.

You got spit up? Yep.

You guys get back in the box. Oh, dear. Oh.

you lucky guy. (CHUCKLES)

You were the main course. (GRUNTS) We're in a stomach?

You will? What?

You're a peach, Mrs. S. Aw.

You're a wonderful father, Earl. Yeah?

You're full now. Not full. Empty. Fill me up.

You've been pacing the floors all night. You! I'm not even talking to you.

Your 20th anniversary. Could be.

Your mileage may differ. (CLICKS)

Yuck! Whoa! (GRUNTS) Dad!

...a custom scale moisturizer,

...and let's go home, Robbie?

...and they analyzed my skin.

...did Robbie get eaten?

...eat with a fork, get picked first for the bowling team.

...of every moment of your life.

...On TV.

...to spend more time with you

...your father seems to be under a lot of stress.

...your mother is always right there and knows exactly what to say.

'cause I know you insurance guys. You have absolutely no ethics!

"...from the Junior Miss Prosthetics Company."

"...gas, electric." Sorry, honey.

"And he shall be born of a noble mother.

"and he shall be king of the dinosaurs."

"And his father shall be courageous and wise."

"And there shall come a child from whom shall grow a golden horn,

"Animal, vegetable, rocks."

"deep within the mountain of terror,

"For the big screen TV and the game,

"half a block south of Mort's Big and Tall,

"He who defies the will of the elders shall be thrown

"hereby summons, Earl Sinclair..

"Honey, he's such a sweet thing," you said.

"into the fiery pit of despair and suffer an eternity of unspeakable torment

"roasting in the unrelenting fires of absolute misery."

"shall ring out only the purest truth."

"The council of elders, meeting in the cave of destiny,

"There'd always be more g****s. That's what 'more' means."

"Tuesday night was a very special episode of Oh, Those Becklesons

"What if the teacher's wrong?"

"what very valuable lesson did Benji Beckleson learn about life?"

"What's so important about the food chain?"

"Why dinosaurs rule the earth."

"Why dinosaurs rule the earth." We're big.

"Why do I have to eat the other creatures, Dad?

(ALL GASP)

(ALL GASP)

(ALL GROANING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(AUDIENCE CHEERING ON TV)

(AUDIENCE CHEERING, LAUGHING)

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

(AUDIENCE GASP)

(BABY GRAPDELITES BLOWING RASPBERRY)

(BABY GRAPDELITES COOING)

(BABY GRAPDELITES COOING)

(BABY LAUGHS)

(BABY SINCLAIR CHUCKLES)

(BABY SINCLAIR HUMMING)

(BIRD CHIRPING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(BLOWS NOSE AND SNIFFLES)

(BOTH CRYING)

(BOTH GASP)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(CACKLES AND GRUNTS)

(CHARLENE LAUGHS)

(CHEERING AND LAUGHING)

(CHEERING)

(CHOMPING LOUDLY)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES) Again!

(CHUCKLES) All right. Yeah. Ooh.

(CHUCKLES) Gee, who'd have ever thought

(CHUCKLES) Hey, what is it?

(CHUCKLES) I don't know.

(CHUCKLES) I used to have trouble selling books,

(CHUCKLES) Well, good luck to you.

(CONTINUES SINGING) ♪ Don't know what they're missin' ♪

(COOING CONTINUES)

(COOS)

(COUGHS)

(COUGHS) Ugh. God. Ugh.

(CRIES) If only my cooking had been better,

(CROWD CLAMORING)

(CRUNCHES, SCREAMS)

(CRUNCHES, SHRIEKS)

(CRUNCHES, SHRIEKS)

(CRYING LOUDLY)

(CRYING)

(DISHES CLATTERING)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(DRAWER OPENS)

(DRUM ROLL)

(EARL CHUCKLES)

(EARL CHUCKLING)

(EARL CRYING)

(EARL GASPING)

(EARL GASPS)

(EARL GASPS)

(EARL GIGGLING)

(EARL GROANS)

(EARL GROANS)

(EARL GRUNTING)

(EARL GRUNTING)

(EARL LAUGHS)

(EARL SIGHS)

(ELDERS MUTTERING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(FRIDGE CREATURES CLAMORING)

(FROGS CROAKING)

(GAGS, CLICKS TONGUE)

(GASPING)

(GASPS, GRUNTS)

(GASPS, SIGHS ANGRILY)

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

(GASPS) Broccoli!

(GASPS) Robbie, you found them.

(GASPS) You...

(GASPS) Your Majesty

(GIGGLES) Son, you are just a little ball of goodness.

(GRAPDELITES GROAN)

(GROANS SOFTLY, SIGHS)

(GROANS, SIGHS)

(GROANS, SPITS)

(GROANS) I don't know! I don't know!

(GROANS) My parents are gonna eat you tomorrow night,

(GROANS) No. My son is an herbivore.

(GROANS) This is a big swamp.

(GROWLS)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING) Come on, honey, turn that thing off!

(GRUNTS AND LAUGHS)

(GRUNTS IN DISGUST)

(GRUNTS, CHOMPS) Mmm.

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS) I ate six buckets and I lost weight.

(GRUNTS) That kid has defied me at every turn, Fran.

(GRUNTS) Whoa! Where am I?

(GUFFAWS)

(IN SING SONG) Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

(INDISTINCTLY CHITTERS)

(INHALES SHARPLY) They took him away to a beautiful place

(INTRO MUSIC PLAYS ON TV)

(JINGLE PLAYING ON TV) ♪ See what's waitin' for you ♪

(KISSES)

(KISSES)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(LAUGHING ON TV CONTINUES)

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV)

(MEWLING)

(MOURNFULLY) Fran. Frannie?

(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)

(MUMBLES, MUNCHES)

(MUMBLES)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

(MUSIC PLAYS ON TV)

(MUSIC PLAYS ON TV)

(PLASTIC CRINKLES)

(ROARING)

(ROARS)

(ROBBIE GROANS)

(ROBBIE LAUGHING)

(ROBBIE SIGHS)

(ROBBIE SIGHS)

(ROBBIE SIGHS)

(SCATTING)

(SCOFFS)

(SCREAMS, EXCLAIMS) Again!

(SCREECHES)

(SCREECHES)

(SHOUTING) I like it! I respect it! Name your new price.

(SHUDDERS) Again!

(SHUSHES)

(SIGHS, CLICKS TONGUE)

(SIGHS, CLICKS TONGUE)

(SIGHS, CRUNCHING)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS) All I ever wanted was for you to live your life exactly like me.

(SIGHS) Betrayed!

(SIGHS) Hi, everybody. I'm sorry I'm late.

(SIGHS) I'm not going to school today.

(SIGHS) Okay.

(SIGHS) Thanks for everything. I got an "F."

(SIGHS) There's probably two dozen swamp monsters

(SIGHS) They didn't even know each other before I defrosted them.

(SINGING ON TV) ♪ Pangaea, Pangaea ♪

(SINGING) ♪ Has anybody here ♪

(SINGING) ♪ I get the dollar ♪

(SINGING) ♪ La la la, da la la ♪

(SINGING) ♪ There are chicks ♪

(SLURPS, EXHALES)

(SLURPS, GROWLS)

(SNICKERS, GRUNTS)

(SNIFFLES)

(SNORING)

(SOBBING) No...

(SOBBING) That my baby is gone!

(SOBS) She's a tomato.

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

(SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(STAMMERING) But I can't give them to you, sir.

(STAMMERING) Well, I see what you're getting at there, sir,

(STAMMERS)

(STAMMERS) How suspiciously cordial of you to take an interest, sir.

(STAMMERS) Why do we have to eat animals every night?

(STUTTERING)

(STUTTERING) I'm sorry, Mr. Richfield.

(SWAMP MONSTER GRUNTING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(TIMMY SCREAMS)

(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(VOCALIZING HAPPILY)

(VOODOO CHANTING)

(WAILING)

(WHIMPERS)

(WHISPERING)

(WHISPERING)

(WHISPERING) Is that what the kids are calling it now, Fran?

(WHISTLES)

(WINCES, SCREAMS LOUDLY)

(YAWNS)

(YAWNS)

(YAWNS)

(YAWNS)

(YAWNS)

(YAWNS) Tired. Sleepy. Night night.

(YELLING AND CACKLING)

(YELLING)

♪ And Bambi's mom... ♪

♪ And I mean ♪

♪ At the Food Chain ♪

♪ But the tasty, they die young Just like antelope mutton ♪

♪ Can you tell me where she's gone? ♪

♪ Da da, ta da Ho, ho. Hi, hi, hi ♪

♪ Da, da da, da da da da, la la ♪

♪ I've got a lot of livin' to do ♪

♪ Just right for some kissin' ♪

♪ Oh, hey... ♪

♪ Seen my old friend, Bambi's mother? ♪

♪ She fed a lot of people ♪

♪ So have a salad with Thousand Island... ♪

♪ This lamb is your lamb This lamb is my lamb ♪

♪ To kiss me a few ♪