On the eve of Festivus, my dear old dad presented to me A gleaming aluminum pole, so plain and free As Festivus dawned, he shared his grievances unfurled All the ways I'd let him down in this crazy world Last came a feast of meatloaf on a bed of lettuce green Still the grievances poured forth, a bitter scene So let's embrace Festivus with all its quirks and rolls Happy Festivus to all, may grievances take their toll.