Amazing mom, how sweet you are to raise a child like me. Sometimes I was good and sometimes I'm bad, but you still love me. Oh man. Oh, Mom, you've suffered. So raising a child like me. Remember that time I set the bed on fire and had to call the fire department to come over and put it out? You remember that? It was funny. And that time I jumped out the roof with my umbrella, see if I could fly. Oh yeah, you're at the store? Never mind. Word to the wise mom, leave gasoline in the hands of the...