Geez, like, thanks Jeff for the update. So, like, our next story is like totally fresh, happened just a couple of hours ago. So, like, this morning at about 6:30 am, this dude in a brown hood smashed a cargo van's window and, like, stole it. Witnesses say they couldn't ID the guy, and no one saw where he went. But get this, two of the witnesses said he was, like, hella gay. That's literally all we know, not that we really care. I mean, like, who even drives a cargo van anyways? Like, go get...