We are deeply saddened to inform you that a fictional character under the name of Norville "Shaggy" Rogers used a small portion of his "power" to obliterate all of northwest England and southern Scotland. This is an unexpected turn of events and we must survive this hardship with bravery and dignity. We can confirm that the Prime Minister, David Cameron has been informed about the war. It is reported that someone approached him and said "What a cartoon, sir". In order to prioritise the...