Fresh Off the Boat (2015) - Season 2 Edit

A list of people's names in the area

A murder? On carpet? Come on.

A murder? On carpet? Come on.

A popular destination for Presidents' Day.

A.A.A.O.O.

After garth Brooks signs your boobs?

Ah, looks like they already got started with the fireworks.

Ah.

Ah. Ooh.

All right, I turned off the sprinklers,

Also, it's you, so if we don't get it right,

American dogs go, "bow wow, bow wow."

And a way to get in touch with them.

And at midnight Beijing time, we're gonna drop the rat.

And bring back the golden age of railway travel.

And don't you forget to bring me back a commemorative thimble.

And for you boys, your father told us about red envelopes.

And happy new year.

And honey brought all the lanterns.

And I'm gonna slide right into...

And I've got breakfast for the car,

And it's tradition to clean our home

And look, no lines.

And look, no lines.

And move the kitchen bamboo out of the sun hourly.

And no more "Simpsons" impressions.

And shoot guns in the air.

And some crème brûlée torches we're giving as gifts.

And sure, Chinese New Year is ruined,

And this time, it's personal...

And to get all those red envelopes full of cash!

And we can get paid!

And we were wondering if you're doing anything.

And why lions?

And you said the haircuts were for wealth and good fortune.

And, finally, I'm flying back to D.C. this weekend

And, for the last time,

Anyone here from New Jersey?

Are in Asia, but we assumed...

Are some zodiac signs better...

Are we gonna miss Chinese New Year?

Are you traveling with any hazardous materials?

Are you upset that we missed our flight?

As long as they have red envelopes,

At Cattleman's becomes our new tradition.

At least I don't have to cook.

Awesome! Wow!

Ay oh.

Ay oh. Ey o.

Because I messed up the days on the tickets.

Because I messed up the days on the tickets.

Because I'm gonna grab the Mike

Because you might be getting rid of any good luck

Boom. Asian American association of Orlando.

Bubkes.

But all we need is your love.

But he man wouldn't fall for that anyways.

But nobody cares enough to get it right.

But that doesn't mean we still can't have fun as a family.

But the celebration wouldn't be complete

But the restaurant will still be open,

But we can celebrate here, just us.

But we did get the kid who played short round

But we do have pork buns.

But you also have to work those other holidays, as well.

But, uh, thank you, Rick.

But, you know, we can make the most of this

Bye, Evan. happy new year.

Bye, girls. Don't forget... Keep that heart rate above 125.

Carol Joan brought illegal fireworks.

Celebrating Chinese New Year.

Chinese dogs go, "wong wong, wong wong!"

Chinese New Year is in a few days,

Chinese people!

Come on, guys.

Could call it "Pronto Panda" or, uh, "Panda Chop Chop"

D'oh.

Damn it, Happy New Year!

Deidre brought oranges and tangerines.

Don't put big...

Dough filled with something delicious.

Each year corresponds to one of 12 different animals

Eddie, I overslept! Get up, get up!

Emery, please.

Emery! Evan! Just eat some toothpaste!

Everyone here is Asian.

Exactly! We're late!

Excellent.

Ey o.

Fireworks!

Five? Who does she suggest to cut?

From every adult in the family,

Give it to me!

Good morning.

Good. So now you're tired, so you'll sleep on the plane.

Goodbye, Jordans.

Grandma, that's very generous,

Grandma.

Great questions!

Happy New Year!

Happy new year!

Have you ever noticed

Have you ever noticed

Have you not been getting our mailers?

Having fun?

He did a great job, and with such short notice.

He's a male stripper.

He's here somewhere.

Hector made fish and dumplings.

Hello, I'm a child, not a registered nurse.

Hello. Asian American association of Orlando.

Here, let me try.

Hey, Angela.

Hey, how ya doin' today?

Hey.

Hi, big auntie.

Hi, grandma!

Hi.

Hmm. Nothing.

How about "Ma"?

How about flowbee setting number 3?

How about Panda Express?

How American and Chinese dogs speak differently?

How did you find people who care about Chinese New Year?

How's the family gonna get us our red envelopes?

I already have tickets to see Morrissey.

I am the year of the dog.

I brought some photos.

I can't wait to see everybody.

I can't wait.

I could listen to this all night.

I did the math, and even if I get one red envelope

I don't care what kind of people are here.

I don't have a joke.

I doubt it.

I feel terrible.

I guess everybody's going there for Presidents' Day.

I guess I have to wait another year until I can dunk.

I guess I should tell my business partners.

I hate to see grandma so down.

I have been ringing this bell for half an hour.

I have three trees in my yard that are really flourishing.

I have to puncture a foil pouch with a straw.

I hope they're karaoke'ing when we get there,

I I thought you were out of town.

I just thought, you know, for Presidents' Day.

I just want this day to be over.

I just want to know.

I know you were really looking forward to seeing everyone,

I like my names better.

I like that.

I mean, you should see how crazy it gets in Chinatown.

I myself was born on a layover in Thailand.

I said, Happy New...

I should have double checked the tickets.

I should have started with jokes about Filipino food.

I still have the key to the costume locker.

I still won't have enough money to buy the new Jordans.

I thought red was for wealth and good fortune.

I thought this was an Asian organization?

I thought you said that our flight was on Friday.

I used to work at Epcot.

I want half Anthony Mason, half kwamé the boy genius.

I wanted you to have a real Chinese New Year.

I wish we could...

I wish we were there so they could annoy me in person.

I'll eat the jelly, though.

I'll give you this gently used castle grayskull.

I'll take Emery's!

I'm calling them.

I'm cool with it.

I'm gonna buy a fedora

I'm gonna buy a snoopy sno cone machine.

I'm kind of a history "boof."

I'm one of the founding members of the triple a double o.

I'm ready for my new year's haircut.

I'm really sorry.

I'm Rick.

I'm so excited for Chinese New Year.

I'm sorry, Connie.

I'm talking about Chinese New Year.

I'm too sad to eat doughnuts.

I'm trying to get bumped up to first class.

If the moon is strong, then at night, too.

If we just had a, I don't know, some sort of

If you can breathe properly the next day, you weren't there.

Ignoring fire codes... So Chinese.

In the Chinese zodiac.

In the mail today so we can get them by new year's.

Is a homonym for the word "surplus."

Isn't it nice our friends care so much?

It doesn't leave till 2:00 P.M.

It gave me an idea for a Chinese fast food chain.

It is. Friday the 15th.

It means she likes things that are small, cute, and funny.

It wasn't that far.

It's gonna be great to see the whole family.

It's like Chinese people's "Smith."

It's more container than lotion, but I don't even care.

It's not even your holiday.

It's not gonna feel like new year's.

It's not that people didn't care enough to get it right.

It's not the same, Louis.

It's real!

It's that they didn't know.

It's the biggest day of the year.

It's time you boys learned what all dogs are born knowing.

It's too early for this.

Jessica, open the door!

Jessica, open the door!

Jessica, why would you have any more luck...

Just water the tomato plant

Just when you think you've micro managed everything.

Liang?

Like the Fonz.

Listed in here.

Listen, guys.

Locked the doors, got the tickets.

Look at that.

Look at this little nivea.

Look how fun it is.

Look on the back.

Look, sure, I messed up the plane tickets,

Loot!

Louis said you were upset about missing Chinese New Year,

Louis, how did you...

Louis!

Mitch got the lion costume.

Mitch?

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. Hmm.

Mm.

Mm...

Mnh mnh.

Mom and dad's envelopes... Those are the worst!

Mountain dew and combos.

My hairdresser used to be her prop guy.

My homework!

My secret... human urine.

My son is troubled, but he knows where to buy explosives.

My son Raj is addicted to cocaine.

Nancy?!

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night...

Ni hao.

No Changs, no Chins, no Chus.

No family.

No more! Thank you!

No parade.

No red envelopes.

No time to brush!

No, because she's our grandmother and she's sad.

No, don't put big auntie on the phone.

No, he's talking about Presidents' Day.

No, I called.

No, it's like

No, just a bag of fireworks, a pocket knife,

No, there's been a change of plans.

No, they're not.

No, we're not coming.

No!

No! I was just expressing a sentiment, you animal!

No.

Nope.

Of all the sizes, aren't they the least fun?

Oh, and Sandy has got some stories.

Oh, damn it. We forgot...

Oh, he's bringing out the big guns.

Oh, it is going to be epic.

Oh, it is.

Oh, kind of like how you don't want to shower

Oh, my gosh, the Huangs!

Oh, no. I'm afraid you've missed your flight.

Oh, that's another new year's tradition.

Oh, uh, Washington, D.C., for the holiday.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Okay, so here's what we need.

On nice stationery.

Ooh, maybe throwing a Chinese New Year party

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Ooh, red envelopes

Ooh, we have fireworks!

Or "Panda Train, limited stops."

Or hoping to associate with one.

Other Chinese people in the area, remember?

Our new year's tradition is to get drunk

Pan pizzas. You each get one.

Pass.

People here don't care about this holiday.

Postal workers are thieves.

Read the back.

Right. We're saying the same thing.

S02E11 Year of the Rat

Same basic concept, though.

See, this is what I was talking about.

She loves "Garfield."

Six last minute tickets to D.C. are too expensive.

Snacks, lunch, and dried plums.

Sno cone! Thank you!

So I'm going to need you all to work.

So the Chinese word for fish

So we wanted to help.

So when you eat them, it's like you're taking in wealth.

So, I've always been curious, why the color red?

Speaking of fun, what's the deal with fun sized candy bars?

Sure, fine.

Tell everyone to send the red envelopes

Thank you for asking.

Thank you so much for taking care of things while we're gone.

Thanks, everybody, for a great Chinese New Year.

That makes sense.

That means the only money we're gonna get this year is from...

That there would be some Chinese people

That's all fine. Just as long as you're not bringing any citrus.

That's awesome!

That's not true.

That's the first thing you've said all day

That's why if you guys give me three of your envelopes each,

The 15th was yesterday.

The color red represents good luck and happiness.

The drummers I got on loan from the high school.

The flight doesn't leave until 2:00 in the afternoon.

The guy in the suit is my brother, Mark.

The Huangs are going to Cattleman's Ranch for dinner!

The length and depth of my bow expresses my deep appreciation.

The olives in the salad bar are for eating, not wearing.

The only ones you're going to get are from us.

The trapdoor doesn't work,

Then had to run across the freeway.

There's also gonna be an authentic dragon dance.

There's decorations, dragon dances, fireworks.

There's got to be at least one Chinese person

There's no fireworks. There's no parade.

There's not much to do.

There's so much oil in this food.

They spent all day rehearsing.

They're from Janet Jackson's "If" video.

They're having a Chinese New Year's party,

They're not gonna send cash in the mail.

They're not.

They're used to summon wealth and good fortune.

This one means "understanding."

To ancient silver and gold pieces.

To send us an autographed picture for our wall.

To spend the holiday with my family,

To welcome in good fortune.

To welcome in good fortune.

Tonight, to celebrate,

Ugh!

Uh, I think that's more of a Japanese thing,

Uh, let's start with "Yang."

Uh, no, jelly doughnuts.

Uh, that's not a real thing.

Uh, we are going to be in town for Chinese New Year,

Uh...

Verbal fireworks!

Verbal fireworks!

Very cool of him.

We are Louis and Jessica Huang. We live in Orlando.

We decided to go with the Southern lion style dance.

We don't have any Chinese members yet.

We don't have to run across the freeway again, do we?

We have to cheer her up.

We have to go to the airport!

We just got these "year of the rat" glasses.

We know there are

We like wealth and good fortune.

We made you your favorite snack...

We made you your favorite snack...

We need to get grandma happy, like, yesterday.

We need travel sized toiletries.

We spoke on the phone, I believe.

We took two buses, a tram,

We won't be coming to D.C. for new year's.

We would be so excited if you'd join us.

We wrote you a message.

We're all set.

We're gonna be drowning in a sea full of red envelopes.

We're gonna hear about it.

We're having a huge party.

We're traveling.

We've been trying to get in touch with you for months!

Welcome, Huangs.

Well, another year without a snoopy sno cone machine.

Well, dumplings are a similar shape

Well, I guess technically India and parts of Russia

Well, maybe we could find something like that here.

Well, what are you doing here?

Well, what do you have planned for Chinese New Year?

Wha...

What do you mean?

What does it mean to like "Garfield"?

What does she like?

What else? What else?

What is going on? Did you commit a murder in here?

What is that?

What is that? Like a party game?

What kind of animal am I?

What year were you born?

What?

What? No, that's impossible.

What? No, this means "understanding."

What's going on? Where are all the...

What's so happy about it?

What's the deal with Capri Suns?

What's the deal with disappointment?

Whatever our motivation,

Where are you all flying to today?

Which is always the third Monday in February.

Who's ready for a dragon dance?!

Whoa, lion dancers!

Whoa!

Whoo!

Why are you dressed so nice?

Why did we have to park so far away?

Why did you all go to all this trouble?

Why did you pack this?

Why do you serve dumplings?

Why would grandma care about fun sized stuff?

Why?

Why?

Without the grand finale.

Wong wong. Wong wong.

Yeah, maybe.

Yeah, one other Chinese guy in Orlando, and he's deaf.

Yeah, so she can be generous with the red envelopes,

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, what else? What does it mean?

Yeah.

Yeah. We get together with family, have a big dinner.

Yes, even five last minute tickets are too expensive.

Yes, hello!

You don't even know about red envelopes?

You don't want to cut your hair too soon after the new year,

You found pork buns?

You found the bus guy.

You guys have your own new year?

You just received.

You know I hate animals doing people things.

You know it.

You know what I wish was fun sized?

You know what? Enough for today.

You know, that's funny because it's true.

You know, we need to start from the beginning.

You're making us work on Valentine's Day?

Your father said you liked handwritten messages

2:00 P.M. yesterday.

Thieves. Thieves.

What time is it? 5:00 A.M.!

What'd she say? I think she likes it.

"Be the change"?

"Who's the Boss?" Like Tony Danza.

♪ But I know where I'm goin' ♪

♪ Fresh off the boat ♪

♪ Fresh off the boat ♪

♪ Fresh off the boat ♪

♪ Homey, you don't know where I come from ♪

♪ I'm fresh off the boat ♪

♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪

♪ If you don't know, homey, now you know ♪

♪ Just a slob like one of us? ♪

♪ Just a stranger on a bus, trying to make his way... ♪

♪ What if God was one of us? ♪

♪ What's love but a second hand emo... ♪

♪ What's love got to do, got to do with it? ♪

♪ Y'all ready for this? ♪