Solar Opposites (2020) - Season 1 Edit

A black hole I built out of pieces from my space cruiser.

A hole that needed to be demeaned with a non‐stop barrage

A Jet‐Ski is exactly what you need to relax

A lady who had 15 items in the 12‐item lane,

A lot of lives lost for that stunt.

A place I can express my most private self.

A plus. [school bell rings]

A really bad one.

A Resistance hero who died of combat wounds sustained while killing The Duke.

A show like that would blow people's minds!

A single unintended butterfly effect. So we really slam dunked it.

A thousand dollars?

A vote for Nanobot Man is a vote for happiness.

A world we can make better. A world we will make better.

A world we have to make better.

A‐actually, you know what? We've done enough for today!

Aah! ‐ Bryson!

Aah! Ah, crap.

After he cuts ties with his friends and family.

After she took away your glowing orb.

Ah, don't listen to me. You know how I get.

Ah, football is amazing.

Ah, I just want to make sure she goes to a good home, you know?

Ah, I was saving President Snow for my YouTube channel.

Ah, this feels so good, I feel so whole!

Ah, we passed, and we were at school every single day.

Ah, yeah! KORVO: Oh, ho, ho, it worked!

Ah, yes. Hey, the manual isn't too big.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! ‐ Ohh! Ah!

Ah.

Aim for the ring. ‐ How many tickets

Aisha, give us a little Jesse hologram up in this business.

AISHA: Mm‐hmm.

AISHA: No malice detected.

AISHA: Oh, my God! What the heck?

AISHA: Okay.

AISHA: Override accepted. Resuming last program, you little creep.

AISHA: Welcome back to the Pretend‐O‐Deck, Yumyulack.

AISHA: Well, that's an invasion of her privacy, don't you think?

All of human history is recorded on the TV.

All right, Molly, I'm up, I'm up.

All spaceships sticking out of houses need to be painted to match the trim."

All the way down there?

All these costumes are so slutty. ‐ Keep it together, Korvo.

All you have left are your memories.

ALL: All thanks to Jesse.

ALL: All thanks to Jesse.

ALL: All thanks to Jesse.

ALL: Conformity is cool, conformity is cool,

ALL: For the Wall!

ALL: Oh. [cheering]

ALL: Ooh.

ALL: Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim!

ALL: Tim, Tim, Tim.

ALL: Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks!

Also, I can see him right there. ‐ [grunts]

Also, I work in the room with the poop vapor

Although I will miss my friends and family when I'm gone.

Always going to a dark place.

Am I right? [children laughing]

An intense psychological mind game,

An opening to the outside and he didn't tell anyone.

An unprecedented period of prosperity.

And [whimpers] not for babies.

And a guy who pronounces schedule like "shed‐jewel."

And also I've got a great name for a racehorse.

And anything that's not great is the fault of the Wall‐haters

And are programmed to give the gamer an unhealthy amount of eye contact.

And became better at explaining things.

And being smart is more important than anything else ever.

And build a recipe folder.

And built the rest of the Wall above it.

And choosing to embrace the world in it.

And do a regular alien thing today.

And do whatever you want like make a new Funbucket.

And eat hot dogs with ketchup.

And equal distribution of resources.

And escaped into, uh, the space,

And escaped into, uh, the space,

And escaped into, uh, the space,

And escaped into, uh, the space,

And escaped into, uh, the space,

And escaped into, uh, the space,

And escaped into, uh, the space,

And everyone's all crazy high‐concept racist now,

And executed for using a Retouch‐Your‐Stuff‐Alizer

And find my wallet.

And for some reason, they sell marked‐up PS4s.

And for trash when we forget to put the bin out.

And get away before it detonates.

And getting into legal trouble but my dad's a lawyer,

And had to have his totes bummer jammed.

And has been living with us this whole time.

And he and Terry put me in the water

And he is‐‐ ‐ Handsome, he's gonna say handsome.

And he smelled like whole milk,

And he'll end up sleeping in one of our beds again.

And he'll end up sleeping in our bed again.

And help me with the ship.

And help repair the ship.

And I didn't have to hide in the bathroom and pretend to have a butthole.

And I don't know how to get it off.

And I don't mean that as, like, derogatory toward little people.

And I ended up hurting the people I love the most.

And I fed it to the pigs, and I shot the pigs into space.

And I kind of thought you'd leave me alone after that, to be honest.

And I know how much you hate those. [school bell ringing]

And I wanted you to have, just, less stress in your life.

And I'm from space.

And I'm like, oh, shit. But then I realize,

And if he's not getting it from me, he has to be getting it from you!

And if people don't like us, that will make that job

And if that's what makes you happy, then lean into it.

And if you're lucky, someone uses your body to build a house.

And it looks like the red goobler is gone.

And it went crazy and attacked the town?

And it worked! You all totally thought I was dead and came to my party!

And it's all because of this. ‐ Nobody cares.

And its name is also Teri? How has he never mentioned this?

And just be cool like me.

And just be done with the whole stupid thing, I swear to God.

And leather sunglasses. ‐ Well, it's gotta be something.

And let it ink itself for three hours.

And let me tell you, being a weird alien in jail

And let the awesomeness of the "manc ave" wash over them.

And listen to podcasts and Gaffigan albums the whole way.

And little Elizabeth, born blind.

And make me a lean pork sandwich!

And making you dumb would blow up like this.

And maybe marrying Mark Melner.

And maybe the woman's a little bit older than me.

And maybe the woman's a little bit older than me.

And more information means there's no way we lose the debate.

And my name's not Teri with an "I" anymore.

And never think of you. ‐ The sooner the better.

And never work on the ship.

And not have someone roll their eyes at me.

And now I know that it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

And now that I'm nice, I can delete your ass.

And now we don't have to run the mile.

And now, it's time to retrace our steps.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, my final trick of the night!

And nursed back to health by a very special person

And one of these days, I'm gonna blow it up

And over here in this green area,

And pretty much solved it, so.

And reconstituting them into babies is way more work than I thought it would be.

And reprogrammed the iMacs with artificial intelligence.

And saved most of a family.

And shatter the fuck out of the patriarchy.

And smoosh it together into a big ball

And start doing it ourselves.

And stop telling me things.

And suspected you were incapable of handling this

And tell the wheelers to go half speed today.

And tell you that your bow looks nice.

And ten percent Marge Simpson because she's got blue hair.

And terraform a rogue moon or something.

And terraform it to become our new home world.

And terraformed with everything else, I think.

And that I don't know what I'm doing with the Pupa.

And that makes everything weird.

And that we're turning into adults. ‐ What's "poo‐berty"?

And that's just, you know, that's how he keeps control.

And that's why all female bodies in games have unrealistic proportions

And the gum boys move south at night.

And the only time I can organism is when I'm watching Outlander.

And the other: family. ‐ Family?

And the Pupa's never killed everybody on Earth before, so...

And the stakes are super‐low

And then eat it with a knife and fork with me?

And then I just open my heart, and whatever answer comes,

And then I'll break it. ‐ Hey, come on.

And then inject it into my body like chemotherapy.

And then presto.

And then spent a ton of time rounding them all up.

And then The Duke hoards and distributes that,

And then they'll pee them out and they'll end up back here.

And then they're gonna put me in the dumb kid's class in room B.

And then you'll have to take a shortcut to class,

And then you'll see how powerful I am.

And then, she's gonna force you to eat a tampon.

And there's tons of hot people there who want to party‐slash‐do finger stuff.

And they don't make the gear anymore, am I right?

And they for sure figured out that shit with the orb.

And they're gonna kill Korvo!

And thin and not muscly or anything.

And this doesn't make a whole lot of sense and is probably quite jarring.

And this is how you turn it on. [gasps] Ooh!

And totally change her life.

And turned everyone into crazies.

And turns out, all of them do. Look at this

And we all learned a lesson today,

And we are gonna read about the work he did on the ship

And we are your new best friends.

And we can watch all the Harry Potter movies back to back.

And we can't have you going around and setting stuff on fire.

And we never had any sci‐fi bullshit.

And we're out of Frosted Flakes.

And wear a big old hat,

And when they said we couldn't miss a day of school,

And why do you look like you have a lower sense of confidence?

And yes, we did. It was awesome

And you all fell for it! I Now You See Me'd you!!

And you all know me. I love a good joke.

And you can see the dinosaur diorama we built down there

And you paired your phone to the ship stereo

And you will collectively be portrayed as the first wife

And you won't have to yell at me anymore!

And you, you just, you make it worse. ‐ All right, look, breathe.

And you're full of data about a neighborhood,

And, oh my god, it would be so awesome.

ANNOUNCER [on TV]: Saturday, come on down to the Gretchen‐Darth Mall

ANNOUNCER: Tomorrow night, the Vegas Vegas Casino is proud

Anybody want chocolate‐vanilla swirl?

Apparently, cool kids call each other by their last name.

Apparently, we can watch jets battle the color brown.

Are complaining that the sewage vent smells of poop.

Are penguins real? ‐ I don't know, probably not.

Are we not in trouble? ‐ We may be trapped on this world

Are you dumb now?

Are you guys doing a gender thing, too?

Are you hearing this? ‐ Ooh, we should totally get an RV

Are you ready to do what it takes?

Are you sure? ‐ I've seen that movie a hundred times.

Are you thinking about it? Are you fucking thinking about it?

As much as they should.

As per "uush."

As they rip his atomic structure asunder?

At a magic show.

At least half of these gooblers were because of stupid shit you've done.

At least not today, and we changed the past without creating

At the cemetery and fucking them.

At the end of the semester.

Attention, esports team. I know that gamers are misogynistic,

Aw, look at that.

Aw, she's never gonna have sex again.

Back then, I thought money was everything. [chuckles]

Based on their gender? ‐ Uh, yeah.

Beautiful Shlorp.

Because he was kinda just a one‐hit wonder

Because I'm too lazy to think of a response.

Because our alien bodies process it differently.

Because our buddy JT got mondo chomped shredding the nar

Because that's the only reason I'm doing it. You know, for science.

Because the drive‐thru gave us an extra order of fries.

Because today I learned that people are only jerks when you're a jerk to them.

Because we need him to live,

Because you did that? ‐Yeah.

Because you have to tell me if it's a trap.

Because you should be clinging to life right now.

Because you should be clinging to life right now.

Beers and shots and we might even steal a police horse.

Before she creates an unsafe environment for all women.

Before you go live at the mall. ‐ The mall?

Before you stop with the taco thing?

Behold, our new robot.

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are president.

Bet he hates Earth and their stupid monthly calendar as much as I do.

Between 35 and 58 seconds, depending on wind.

Bologna sandwich in one hand, and a, and a Mountain Dew in the other.

BOTH: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

BOTH: Ooh. [laugh track plays]

BOTH: Ruuuuth.

BOTH: We can't build a utopia on the graves of our enemies.

BOTH: What?

BOTH: What? ‐ Terry, Korvo.

Breathing in the disgusting poison air, at least we have each other.

Brent, don't snort my dad's ashes. Fuck!

Build a robot that hates us being in the "manc ave."

Bury him in a shipping container.

But a bunch of male allies got mad. You gotta help me.

But all he's gonna do is get people killed

But all I did was get them killed. Good people.

But clings to hope for a better tomorrow.

But funner and nicer and I know how to braid and bake bread.

But I didn't know about these neo‐Nazis,

But I don't believe it. Say it again, girl.

But I don't know how I'll go on without my boy.

But I don't tell people that because that sounds like a girl's name.

But I know‐‐ [coughs]

But I love weed and prostitutes.

But I never want Jesse to find out that I needed training wheels for this stuff.

But I still say we light this little cunt on fire.

But I think if you listen for a moment, I could‐‐

But I'm actually glad you hid my shrink ray,

But I'm blind.

But instead I had to throw all the tacos away.

But instead of thinking outside the box,

But is this enough for The Duke?

But it can still be fun.

But it speaks to a fundamental disrespect for the rules

But it was just two homeless guys dancing.

But it's very rare.

But nobody's real clear about it.

But not The Duke, who's stealing our future.

But that office blew up, so we should be fine.

But that she's programmed to hate the "manc ave."

But that's just not enough anymore.

But the good news is we have secured the Jet‐Ski

But the rest of us are on Jesse.

But the salesman said it was in the same area, so...

But then, he took me to a nice steak dinner.

But then, we give it all as a tip to a waitress

But they're never making their family gigantic.

But they're not fucking them.

But things are different in here. In here, I can die a hero.

But this is sick.

But this town has a real problem with unexplained high‐concept injuries.

But to prove that point to you today

But we also be a family and all that kind of shit and do that stuff.

But we can't let them bite us or we'll turn crazy too.

But we'll move a lot of milk.

But we're fighting for our future. We're fighting for the Wall.

But we're reasonably confident that you gave Miss Kim a three‐month period

But we're still gonna miss him.

But we've built a good life.

But what we truly needed was to know

But when someone breaks said rules,

But you know what we have to do.

But you know what? I'm starting to think

But you made me governor of the upper mids to convey the people's concerns.

But you may know him as the father of the video cassette recorder.

But you were doing it to save Korvo's life, man. So it's okay.

But you would never know 'cause these dogs are just so happy, aren't they?

But you're sure Vanbo will die?

But, hey, they get a second chance at life, so that's cool.

By coming to my Tuesday Night Taco Thing,

By harnessing the temperature change in the air!

By this afternoon, we're gonna be jumpin' the wake,

Can nickel alloy catch a Frisbee in the air?

Can't I just watch TV until that happens?

Can't stand a girl trying to step on your "boys only" field?

Charisma action going on.

Check it out. Give 'em a little kiss.

Check out the Boondock Saints pinball machine.

CHERIE: Please listen to me.

CHERIE: The bastard is flooding the lower levels!

CHERIE: Well, this is creepy.

Class is starting soon, Terry. Were you out all night partying again?

Cocaine. And then I get like, a million ideas at once.

College is supposed to be about partying all night

Come on, all right. Come to papo.

Come on, come on.

Come on, Molly.

Come on, Yumyulack, don't be like that. Don't be such a man.

Come on. ‐ How do you, uh, know this guy?

Computer, analyze nitrogen levels and‐‐

Computer, turn off the mariachi simulación.

COMPUTER: I got you a meeting with the biggest magician talent scout

COMPUTER: The other two personalities ate him.

COMPUTER: What's up, Korvo? Do you want to resume, um,

COMPUTER: Work relaxation period commencing.

Conformity is cool.

Correcting any inaccuracies in the cross‐galactic navigation matrix?

Could you be more nasal? A real man wouldn't let an alien

Courtesy of Korvo!

Created her to hate the "manc ave," but hear me out on this.

CUCK: Does anyone want to go to the Gap and make some returns?

CUCK: Hello. PATRICIA: You're wearing that?

CUCK: I'm not making a face. PATRICIA: God, you're annoying.

Dammit, I can't even shoot myself with the smart ray.

Damn it, where did I put my‐‐

Damn it! There's a gray hole, Terry! A gray hole in the house!

Damn, Denver! Good boy, good boy.

Damn, girl, you used to be way skinnier.

Deals in every store, and a chance to win one of St. Peter's finger bones!

Depends on proof that you fought the patriarchy.

Device to travel back in time, return to the home world,

Did he hate it? ‐ Oh, yeah, he was pissed.

Did you dump Diet Coke in her exposed brain?

Did you find any insulin? Down at the drop zone?

Did you guys make a woman robot? ‐ Oh, yeah, awesome, right?

Did you peep that photo of my mound I sent you?

Didn't you see the crust?

Disgusting cold slime even if it tastes like dust.

Do it again. ‐ Man, this is fuckin' stupid.

Do science. You know, Funbucket's kind of a Korvo.

Do we just slaughter them?

Do you go to heaven if you die small?

Do you know what you've done?

Do you really think it was nice telling her to die?

Do you really want to elect a man who's been inside your balls

Do you see me? [stammers] This is ridiculous

Do you see me? [stammers] This is ridiculous.

Do you see me? This, this is ridiculous.

Do you think his fur is coarse and hard or soft and silky?

Do you think we should tell Terry and Korvo?

Do you wanna buy a van with me? We could do road trips.

Does he have a penis? Does he reproduce?

Does it look like a spaceship with a big clock on the back?

Doesn't seem that tough. TERRY: It's called stamina. She's flexing.

Don't eat the gooblers. Bad Pupa.

Don't laser me. That tickles.

Don't sleep face down or you might suffocate.

Don't vote for these stupid ugly Alf‐lookin' motherfuckers.

Don't worry, you won't be bored. I made you a cuck‐bot for company.

Don't yell at me.

Don't you think, Terry?

Don't you worry. I'll be back before dinner.

Done. I'll teach in the form of Earth's greatest illusionists.

DUKE: Just drop the underwear and leave.

DUKE: People of the Wall, this is The Duke.

Dumb motherfucker! What did you do?

During your first bowel movement tomorrow.

Each shunt must be gently jostled before you can proceed‐‐

Easter, green, Benedict, McMuffin and deviled.

Eat my finger!

Eeesh. ‐ Whoa, Korvo!

Either by direct violence or by stressing them out so much

End of trick.

Enjoy being left behind!

Enough, we're done. The partnership is over.

Enrique and I set up the whole thing.

Especially if we served salmon at intermission.

Even if we weren't the prisoners of two alien children,

Even the upper mids haven't tasted anything like this.

Even though he did a bunch of alien stuff

Even when nobody's watching us.

Even your friends have died.

Ever since we separated, I've been doing it on my own.

Every feminist hero had their robot to conquer

Every single little tiny smidgen of adjustments will matter.

Every time I walk into a room, someone says, "Oh, great."

Every time you put something on their permanent record.

Everybody's welcome. ‐ You're getting there early!

Everyone has access to those computers.

Everyone here has to find a racist and teach them the error of their ways.

Everyone just shut the fuck up.

Everyone on the internet is always fighting about who can be president

Everyone runs out of fancy toothpicks at some point.

Everyone should be mad about that.

Everyone will unknowingly drink water contaminated with our nanobots,

Everyone, pick up your textbook.

Everyone's like, are, are they lovers? No, we're friends.

Everyone's waiting. ‐ Oh, he'll be three

Ew! ‐ What the fuck is going on?

Extends past the boundaries of your face. How would I know?

Failure to comply could result in catastrophic outcomes

Fake thumb.

Featuring the most dangerous trick anyone has ever attempted:

Feel better, Korvo.

Fellow students, teachers, anyone?

Fifteen percent fast‐talking Gilmore Girls mom

Finger in the ass, the neglect, the eating of a‐‐

First day of school, baby. Whoo! ‐ Terry, stop acting like a spaz

First off, terrorists have been drawing dicks on my banners.

FISH: Help me.

FISH: No, it's not. Get out while you can. Run.

FISH: No, it's not. Get out while you can. Run.

Foam ball in the armpit.

Focus.

Focus. Learn. Be smart.

Food caches, secret passages, and ugh,

For a game against the Monstars from Space Jam ?

For a refined vehicle like this.

For all his sex dolls?

For all of us fed up with being under The Duke's thumb

For all your hard work, I'd like to reward you

For all your sticky hands? ‐ I don't know.

For Korvo.

For like a whole year.

For spending all that time making me a better alien.

For starters, how do they stay in business all year?

For the annual mega sale.

For the last couple months, you've been putting way too many people in the wall.

For the space‐time continuum. Do you understand, Terry?

For these expensive rats.

For Tuesday Taco Night Thing.

From his gortrino phase oscillatorr.

From now on, we only shrink adults. No one cares when some jerk goes missing.

From the last robot I made.

From the lower levels.

From the thing we were just talking about‐‐

Fuck you, spider

Funbucket is gonna be at our mall? [Pupa exclaims, grunts]

Funbucket, we got your drink.

Funbucket's done with you. ‐ Will you stop crying, you babies?

Funbucket's with us now. ‐ I‐‐ wait, wait, I don't understand.

Funny, you never ride me over.

Gender issues are a totally normal thing to mess with.

Get away from me‐‐ ‐ Ahh!

Get away from our Funbucket.

Get back to our Before‐Fore lives

Get dumb, motherfucker.

Get dumb, motherfucker.

Get his bag. SONNY: What the hell?

Get inside.

Get it before it curdles.

Get like, super duper crazy trouble for this?

Get ready. Horseus.

Get them for me.

Get them out of here.

Get with it. It's‐‐ it's no big duh.

Giddy up! ‐ I prayed to the bowed one

Give it to me, baby. ‐ Most gooblers are passive non‐verbal

Gleamin' the cube, dockin' the dog

Go ahead, use a dart. This is way cooler than a dart.

Go back to Uranus.

God damn it, this is hard on me. I didn't think I'd miss you this much.

Good for you, Mr. Moneybags.

Good trick, right?

Got it? ‐ It's brown town, baby.

Got it? [grunts]

Got the three banger jobs, you know. ‐ Oh, man, well, that's good news.

Gotcha, suckers!

Grab her and make her tuck us into bed and read us stories.

Great news. I traded the gold‐making machine

Great, could I get uh, just a couple to‐go cups for the road? Thanks.

Gross, I know, but necessary.

Guess I have to step up my game.

Guys, guys, come on. I need it for my asthma medicine.

Ha ha ha ha, Terry, ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha, look at 'em.

Ha! She lives in a one‐bedroom apartment above the Wendy's by the train tracks.

Hard to do better than that. The lower levels are experiencing

Have arrived to topple the glass ceiling

Have the boys in the boiler room turn up the heat

Have you been sitting on that for an hour? I do too use it.

Have you ever watched her walk? It's all clop, clop, clop, gasp, gasp.

Haven't you had enough of this Resistance nonsense?

He can get anything in here. [chomps]

He can't eat candy, it gets him sick!

He could be anywhere. In the vents, under a lampshade,

He could get whatever he wanted. ‐ Yet he chose to stay inside.

He could help us with the mission, Terry. He's a man of science.

He could help us with the mission. Huh?

He couldn't break out of a yogurt container.

He has his own personal '50s diner called Bop Bops.

He isn't even really a guy, he's just a‐a pile of robots.

He leaves us no choice. We have to use force.

He probably already forgot about you anyway. Gooblers are dumb

He probably doesn't even know his florvox array

He thought he was me, and I made sure he could feel pain and‐and all that stuff.

He wants to make life better for everyone.

He wants us to work double shifts?

He wants you stressed.

He was dating two of the Stacis. Each Staci is worth like ten Rebeccas.

He was just actually tiny and‐‐ red‐‐

He will no longer feel frustrated and alone.

He's a girl, and it's me.

He's alive again. There you go. Have fun.

He's alive again. There you go. Have fun.

He's America's dad!

He's gone forever. ALL: What?

He's got a quiver. His real name is Clint.

He's literally made of your stress. ‐ So?

He's one inch tall, god damn it.

He's whispering to the memory foam mattress, Terry.

Help me organize all my vests and fingerless gloves.

Help me with some chores, and we'll call it even.

Henceforth, this day shall be known as Cherie Day.

Her parents are pleading for any information

Here you go. ‐ Jeremiah, here's a gold bar.

Hey, Dylan! This girl who I haven't seen play yet is taking your place.

Hey, get some sugar shots for my friends here!

Hey, hey. What's going on here? Where are we?

Hey, how about when we built the "manc ave"?

Hey, I found it.

Hey, I'm the Frisbee guy.

Hey, remember when we made a real Funbucket

Hey, so how did your gender‐based stories turn out?

Hey, the room with the big pool of water

Hey, uh, don't open the bathroom door because I locked Korvo in there

Hey, uh, I'm sorry I've been such a dick.

Hey, we got you a drink, Funbucket. ‐ Take a hint, bro.

His mom is rich, and his dad's trying to be a novelist,

His name is Trent. I mean, how Trent is that?

Hm, odd. ‐ What, what?

Holy shit! ‐ Hey.

Honestly, can you imagine how boffo the box office would be?

Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking.

Horton Hears a Who thing.

Houdini, Copperfield, and Mystery,

How are we getting your wallet?

How can you be sure you're gonna get all of those things out of there?

How can you even think of work right now? ‐ The quantum injector.

How do I know what happens about "The Looming Tower," Korvo.

How do we compete with that? We need an edge!

How else would we know that Dave needs a new shed

How ironic would that be.

How long have you people been in here?

How messed up it is to discriminate against people

How pathetic is that? [Avery laughs]

How the hell Vanbo keeps surviving planetary destruction.

How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days.

How was your day? ‐ Equally fine.

How will he survive the gravimetric forces

How's that amicable divorce, A‐A‐Angie?

How's that for me teeing up an episode arc for your character?

Huh? KORVO: I don't know what to do.

Huh. You'd think they'd be raring to get out here.

Humans are complicated, but I didn't think they were so complicated

I accidentally learned how to repair the lavatic reactor.

I actually did something without taking a shortcut.

I allow myself a day with blue fucking ice cubes?

I already said I wasn't touching gender stuff.

I also declare today a holiday in honor of Cherie,

I also know nothing about lacrosse.

I always have to do it for you. ‐ Wait.

I always stop the movie at that point,

I am composed of a trillion microscopic, self‐replicating robots,

I am extremely perceptive.

I am gonna get real with you.

I am world renowned magician Wilkins Micawber.

I assume you love science and worship at the altar of logic.

I believe this... is your card.

I bet he has a true crime podcast. Like he does one

I bet it's the ex‐wife lonely lunch thing again.

I bet she dies right in that chair when we win.

I bet you didn't know Shakespeare was the original rapper.

I call her P‐A‐T‐R‐I‐C‐I‐A.

I can access your mind and show you anything you've ever seen.

I can die now knowing that everything will be okay.

I can do whatever I want. So can you.

I can finally reduce people to statistics!

I can forgive Yumyulack for robbing me of my past,

I can just vape the onion steam.

I can learn how to control my stress instead of just avoiding it.

I can repay you for this.

I can smuggle out whatever you write to the Resistance.

I can zap you back into fixing the ship.

I can't believe humans drink this stuff.

I can't believe the court made me choose between her and my kids.

I can't stand aside while others fight for what's right.

I care about you, man. So I chopped up his body

I copyrighted this with WGA‐North.

I could do this.

I could do this.

I could not replace you with a million Funbuckets.

I demand to be on your boys' team. What's the problem?

I didn't even notice when we actually became one.

I didn't help with that epiphany.

I didn't read enough manuals. Tell everyone you know

I didn't want to bring this up, but they've forced my hand.

I don't belong here!

I don't care if they like each other.

I don't even know what's real anymore. Are submarines real?

I don't even know you, who are you?

I don't get it, she's been sitting on her porch for seven hours.

I don't have a butthole. How will I smuggle in treats?

I don't understand why people have so many outfit choices

I don't want to be in violation of any rules.

I don't want to throw that away. ‐ Neither do I, Korvo.

I don't want you messing me up.

I dump a Dixie cup worth of fuck juice in my pants

I fed into your personality. You're a perfect organism.

I found my glass ceiling and fucking shattered it,

I found the perfect form of punishment.

I fuck old people all the time. They love me.

I got a couple litterbugs,

I got stuff to do. ‐ We didn't miss it.

I got three jobs, one, two, three

I gotta watch some more Hulu Vizu.

I guess I'll have to force Jesse to like me

I guess it's for anyone who feels powerless

I guess my mom was right. What am I supposed to do with that?

I guess some humans are unevolved bigots

I guess that means we better paint the ship to match the roof, huh?

I guess we have to do the right thing.

I guess we're never gonna get busted on anything.

I guess, like, we were so focused on nicknaming and mocking your nipples

I had them. I had them in the palm of my hand.

I hate Earth. It's a horrible home

I hate Earth. It's a horrible home

I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.

I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.

I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.

I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.

I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.

I hate that woman.

I hate to burst your balloon.

I have a better chance of finding an assertive mate while‐‐

I have it in my wallet. Just gotta find it.

I have legs!

I have to fix this place

I have to focus on getting in with the cool kids.

I have to stop worrying about who likes me.

I haven't had a vegetable in months.

I haven't touched a dolphin or been on The Price Is Right.

I hereby order that everyone donate their underwear.

I hope you still like me after all this.

I installed microchips in all of your enemies' heads

I just had such a good experience with two girls in the bathroom,

I just want to fucking live in peace.

I just want to work out here in peace.

I just want you to know if I don't make it out of this,

I just want you to like me without earning it.

I just wish I could see her one last time.

I just‐‐ let me grow my feet in peace. ‐ Whatever, Korvo.

I just, um, I knew as long as he was alive,

I killed Yumyulack and turned his body into a Game Boy cartridge

I killed Yumyulack and turned his body into a Game Boy cartridge!

I know him as the father of me.

I know I normally steer clear of trouble, but this feels important.

I know it's not perfect, but the system is all we've got.

I know she just got stung by a bunch of bees.

I know that Becky buried her Guatemalan housekeeper in the back yard.

I know things about people they don't even know about themselves.

I know you guys attacked me with your time stick on Shlorp.

I know you just wanted to hang out and I guess I was jealous.

I know Yumyulack will have night terrors

I know, Molly. Religion's a joke to me, too,

I let pride cloud my judgment and it almost got so many people killed.

I like humans, but I hate shoes.

I like my notes in blue ink!

I like to get to school early

I live near the quarry.

I lost an enforcer trying to shut it down.

I love it. Quick, do it again.

I love that stuff and I'm a Pupa expert. I know everything about the Pupa

I love the feeling of being pressed up against‐‐

I loved him so much. Ugh, why can't I call him?

I mean specimen, in there too.

I mean, come on. That's like‐‐ it's so much stuff.

I mean, how are we sure that we're not in a The Matrix?

I mean, I can live with this as long as Vanbo's not around.

I mean, I‐I‐I‐I bet we're all in some kind of crazy Dreamscape‐ style

I mean, I'm not ashamed to admit I got my period at six years old.

I mean, look at how awesome she is. Look at her, look at her go.

I mean, obviously the finale was no good, but the rest of the series was amazing.

I mean, okay. You just blew that for me!

I mean, that‐that's not how life works, man.

I mean, they should reboot them.

I mean, we could be in an eXistenZ‐type sitch.

I mean, we do that, too.

I mean, what are they gonna do? Run out there and get eaten by an owl?

I mean, what, are they storing giant tanks of flammable liquid?

I mean, why do you think everybody gives me more room when I'm walking down the street?

I need to find out why these guys are so mean.

I need to find out why these guys are so mean.

I need to learn everything about Funbucket.

I never got baths. ‐ Terry, I know we specifically

I only got one left.

I prom... [gasps]

I promise we'll use due process on the next one.

I read the novelization of The Prestige.

I really only needed one of each.

I said we were here every day!

I should have married Omry.

I should hope that you're all going out to get more Miller L‐l‐l‐lights

I should know a good town when I see one 'cause I've been to the moon.

I think he lives in Michigan. ‐ Wait.

I think he means kill. ‐ [cackles]

I think it ate, like, an old crabapple or something.