Bridesmaids (2011) Soundboard Edit

Absolutely not.

All my money.

All right

All right, I'm going to go. All right.

An attendant will meet you at the stables.

And he realized that he had hit his bottom.

And I get it

And I love my new asshole!

And this is Dougie's sister, Megan.

And to have kids.

And we need things to just

And you will never find this again until I want you to find it

And you've only known her eight months, though, right?

Annie, let's go.

Annie! These are my kids.

Annie. Hey.

Another one, another one, another one.

Anyway, go and save your friend from her apartment.

Are you a guest of Helen Harris III?

As a favor to me.

Auf Wiedersehen, asshole.

Beautiful length.

Because there's nowhere to go but up.

Becca, I just can't help but feel bad for you

But it was great to finally meet you.

But you know...

Can I be honest? No.

Cheers! Cheers!

Come here.

Come in.

Come on, I know you haven't done it in a while, but it'll be great.

Come on!

Consuming alcohol while operating a vehicle.

Cool.

Could we put the siren on? Please?

Do you get where I'm going with that? I do.

Do you know where that is?

Don't you know

Don't you know

Don't you see how irresponsible this is?

Dunk tanks

Everyone should experience first class at least once in their lives

Good timing.

Have you ever seen CSI? 24 hours.

He cut a hole in his pocket.

He'll give you a particularly good deal.

He's ignoring you. Let me. Yes, he is.

Helen, this is $800.

Hello, fellas. Here I am.

Here is a card to say congratulations.

Hey, Lil, it's me.

Hey, who's driving that car?

Hi.

Hit and run! Classy!

Holy shit. What did you give her?

Honey, you are gonna love it.

How are you doing? You're here.

How is it going with him anyway?

Huh?

I bought an 18 wheeler a couple of months ago just because I could.

I can't believe Dougie's boss is a member here.

I could do that.

I don't have a gun for you to put up my ass to make your point

I don't know how you just can't do it any more.

I don't need dental work.

I don't really do that any more, I told you.

I don't think you guys will be best friends forever. No offense

I feel a bit bloated, so..

I feel bad for your face.

I get it.

I had a bakery on the main part of the street there.

I had Lillian put it on so you could see

I have been hearing that for a long time.

I just wanted to say really quick that

I know you had some other choices,

I know you look at me now and think,

I know, I offered to pay for her

I know.

I know. I'm freaking out a little bit.

I look ugly? No, I don't. I don't really look ugly.

I pronounce you husband and wife.

I think if you are growing, then you are changing.

I think so. I don't.

I think we can all agree on that, right?

I thought it was beautiful. You have really lovely taste.

I was thinking it could be French themed,

I will not let you walk down that aisle

I'd like it to be like a carnival

I'm a very hungry bear.

I'm going to go take a nap. I'm tired.

I'm leaving.

I'm not going to kill anybody.

I'm not like, Be my boyfriend! Unless you were like, Yeah!

I'm pretty impressive

I'm really glad we could do this, too. It's nice we get to hang out.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I should just probably go.

I'm sorry. It's just that I'm anal about that kind of thing

I'm very impressed by you

I've got a new tube top, I want to cut the tags off.

I've just had a bad night. Boy stuff. Ohh

If you hold on for one more day

If you want.

Is this a sign, Annie?

Isn't this pretty? Yeah.

It doesn't make me happy any more.

It will be super fun. It's gonna be really fun.

It's a force of habit.

It's a great party.

It's a totally different... Right.

It's fine. And I'm more than happy to do it, and it's not too much.

It's fine. Okay. All right

It's French.

It's going to get better, right?

It's happening. It's happening

It's just a little pre wedding vacation. And while we're there,

It's just my makeup.

It's just weird, right? You know what?

It's not a missing person until it's at least 24 hours.

It's pretty simple.

It's really pretty and sweet, and...

Jon, get us a blanket.

Just a little bit.

Knowing you can always count on me

Let me get on with my job, Annie.

Let's get the maid of honor up here.

Like me. You can still turn it around.

Like the rest of these bitches!

Lil, this is your weekend, okay?

Listen, don't worry about it.

Making a beautiful dinner for my family.

Maybe just a little bit. No.

Mom, come on. No, I don't like to say it.

Mom, she doesn't want me there.

Motherfucking Paris?

My dress was probably just tight.

My God.

My God.

Nice hit.

Nice to meet you.

No, don't.

No, Lil, I'm fine. I mean...

No, no

No, no, no, can you please just stop the car? I want to get out.

No.

Nope, not that one.

Not like that. Not like anything serious.

Not with his mouth, but he said it, I'm assuming, telepathically

Now, why can't you be more like Kahlua?

Of course you were invited. I just meant you have arrived.

Oh

Oh, God. Okay. No, not the bathroom.

Oh! Annie!

Oh! Don't...

Oh! Only 15!

Oh. I can't.

Ohh. I know.

Okay

Okay, and let's go to your wedding.

Okay, I don't even know what you're talking about any more.

Okay, just wait here. I think I know

Okay, they were all right. We'll let them go

Okay, you know what? Slow it down, slow it down.

Okay? Yes, we're all thinking it, right? I was.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Or are you comfortable with the pain?

Or something they'd been thinking of.

Oscar, get back to work.

Perfect! Okay.

Please, can I set you up? Please?

Really quick, Thank you all for coming.

Really? Yeah

Rhodes.

Say goodbye! We are going down!

Separately

She has to.

She will move.

Shit!

Since she's always wanted to go to Paris her whole life.

So let me just say,

So lovely to meet Lillian's childhood friend.

So she could sit in first class,

So you're saying she's at her apartment? That's what you're telling me?

So, Annie, do you have a date for the wedding?

So, I ate your cake

Stay calm.

Stop it!

Stopped, I guess.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you so much.

Thank you. I feel so close to you and can trust you.

That can go up and higher.

That poor girl, Lillian, who we're all here for,

That you left.

That's great

That's right. Now, plant your feet

The Daily Show without him entering me.

The friends you have when you are younger sometimes...

The sex is constant

There is a bar in the pool and a tiger.

They are disgusting.

They'd say Lillian and Dougie on them.

Things'll go your way

Things'll go your way

Thinking about other things and wishing it would stop.

This happened because you didn't get your taillights fixed.

This is your engagement party. Isn't that crazy?

This week, I promise. Please. Do you have to give me a ticket?

Too late. Well, he became a gay prostitute.

Ugh. I cannot wait to never work for a psychopath again.

Umm. Hi. I'm Annie Walker.

Umm...

Umm...

Umm...

Umm...

Until then, baby, are you going to let them

Wait a minute. Is this that place that was on The Real World?

We did. We did. Last night.

We found her!

We split it three ways. What do you say?

Welcome to Germany.

Well, it's just closer to work.

Well, no, because... I don't know what you're trying to do here.

Well, she can't work. She's on a tourist visa.

Well, that concludes the speeches for the night.

Were you busy?

What are you guys up to?

What did you think of the wedding?

What? He asked me last night.

When the business went under. So, anyway...

Who is that man?

Why do they do that? Let us offer.

Why don't you go lay down?

Why?

Will you love him, comfort him, and keep him

Will you, Douglas, take Lillian to be your wife?

Wow, this is so awkward. I really want you to leave,

Yeah, I definitely got it.

Yeah, I know. We've only known each other for five minutes.

Yeah, it's Lillian's parents' house

Yeah, okay, have fun having a baby at your prom.

Yeah?

Yeah. I owe him big time

Yeah. it's nice.

Yes, I am with him.

Yes, technically.

You are supposed to be in your seat.

You can stop walking when I tell you to stop walking.

You don't need a nickname because Kahlua is so delicious.

You got a package.

You know I'd rather just... I like simple... I'm not like other girls.

You know this guy?

You know what just came in today on the Netflix?

You know what to do.

You know what, Terry? I don't want

You know what? If you mention my name, that I referred you,

You know what? Let's forget about this.

You missed it. Yeah

You picked at the bridal store.

You sure you want it to say Forever?

You want to come? Yeah, I do

You want to get back in that restroom and not rest?

You will like it. It's sweet

You're going to make me sit in the back seat?

You're moving out.

You're not an alcoholic.

Yummy?

...Before you kill someone.

...My tire just feels a little..

'Cause there was one thing I would never do,

'Cause you're your problem, Annie.