Bridesmaids (2011) Edit

A bit, Been there, done that.

A different kind of fun.

A girl named Megan that didn't have

A girl named Megan.

A little bit. You're an ugly crier, but that's okay.

A little hard.

A lot of shopping malls.

A Paris!

A part that I could never live without,

A very good time in high school.

About me? Really?

Absolutely no walk ins.

Absolutely. Cheers.

Actually, no, I'm afraid there's a warrant out for your arrest.

Actually, the rest of them are, but not me.

Actually... No.

Ahh! It's hot! Jesus! God!

Air Marshal style.

Air Marshall Jon and I's first sexual encounter.

All of a sudden, I realized I was driving here.

All of that stuff, that would have been dangerous for a good driver.

All of the girls hate me right now.

All right, come on. Bring it in.

All right, let's get your dress on,

All right, let's have some nice, hot, unsanitary chocolate!

All right, let's see what's next.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Annie?

All right. Here, there's your ID.

All right. I can't. I'm sorry.

All right. I get it.

All right. I guess I'm going to Lillian's party by myself, then.

All right. Let's do it. Let's do it.

All right. Man, you have got to wash your hair.

All right. Thank you.

Am I right? Lesbian.

And

And all I know is he had tape marks all up and down his cheeks.

And Annie shouldn't miss out just because she can't afford it.

And be a mom. Becca?

And besides, you need to blaze the trail for me.

And don't mention the whole Bill Cosby thing to him.

And Dougie loves you more than anything.

And get cheese from the nice part of the store.

And getting perfect, and mine is just like...

And guess what?

And happy to say that I have four new friends.

And have champagne and little cookies.

And he said, I'm saving you, Megan.

And Helen just knows how to do this kind of stuff.

And here's to Doug and my baby girl, Lillian.

And how your boyfriend left you,

And I don't know...

And I feel I can communicate with you with simply a look.

And I got a few little baking bits and pieces.

And I got a few little baking bits and pieces.

And I got my asshole bleached, too!

And I have been thinking, honey,

And I hope and I pray that I never have to.

And I just don't want to make promises I can't keep.

And I just want to toast all of you ladies.

And I know...

And I need to put my uniform on.

And I really look forward to having Doug as part of our family.

And I respect the hell out of you.

And I shared things with you that I've never shared with anyone.

And I swear to God, that dolphin looked not at me,

And I wish I had a snack.

And I woke up today, and he was really sweet and nice and cute.

And I'll be right back down. Okay.

And I'll see you in there.

And I'm going to give you this.

And i'm going to go down to the river

And I'm ready

And I'm so proud of you.

And I'm sure Barb is a champion at it.

And if you are going to act like this,

And it makes me so sad.

And it's a great price.

And it's almost like you're doing it

And maybe marriage will work out.

And maybe she will be more successful than you are

And my dad can't afford the wedding.

And no wonder. You're selling lifelong happiness.

And now here we are.

And plus, you get a lot for your money, too. So that's good.

And prettier and richer and skinnier

And save me a shitload of money.

And say what, Megan?

And she found it so stressful, her hair started falling out.

And so do I.

And so, I would just like to say to you, and to everyone here...

And sometimes, by the time we are finished

And take a bath in my bathtub.

And take aim.

And that I created a distance between you and Lillian.

And that makes me kind of happy.

And that your seat backs are in an upright position before takeoff

And that's it for tonight. Thank you for coming.

And that's you, Lil.

And the bits that mentioned Gil and Brynn... No, no, no, no.

And the bride and groom can walk on a little tightrope.

And the food is always incredible.

And then go home and talk behind my back later, like a normal person?

And then I pretend I'm tired, but I'm not tired. I'm not tired. I'm not tired.

And then report back and tell me what's coming.

And then we go through this, and then you feel like shit,

And then you came home with me and we did stuff, fun stuff,

And then you end up with two eggs in your mouth.

And then you just left, just like it was nothing.

And there is a beautiful saying that I learned there.

And there is semen all over everything, okay?

And they end up doing everything together.

And they were working the entire weekend,

And this bed,

And those teeth! I should have painted her mouth shut.

And thought this was completely

And we all come dressed as our favorite Pixar character.

And we get there on the ground safely.

And we just sat and drank wine and ate peanut brittle.

And we're just having fun. And I like that.

And who's designing my wedding dress.

And will you, Lillian, take Douglas to be your husband?

And you break free from the chains

And you break free, break from the chains

And you choose to talk about the fact

And you cut a hole in the back of your jeans,

And you know how I know?

And you made me realize how I can trust people again.

And you two deserve each other,

And you would know that,

And you'd put something in them, like a cream or a custard...

And you'll be my maid of honor.

And you're also your solution.

And you're going through a tricky time, and you're super busy...

And you're so sexy.

And you've really helped shape who I am.

And, forsaking all others, remain true to her

And... Will you just do me a favor?

Andrew, you are not the father!

Annie Walker.

Annie,

Annie, everybody is really sick from that restaurant.

Annie, I have something.

Annie, I want to apologize to you personally

Annie, it's Rita.

Annie, my hair! What are you doing?

Annie, this is Becca, my friend from work.

Annie, what are you doing up here?

Annie, what are you doing?

Annie, you can't go to the wedding alone. Please?

Annie, you made this.

Annie!

Annie! Annie, wake up.

Annie! I'm sorry!

Annie! No, Mom.

Annie! Oh, my God.

Annie! This is so unbelievable.

Annie?

Annie. Yeah?

Annie... Lillian, this is not the you that I know.

Anybody else have anything they want to share today?

Anyway, I know you are busy and stuff,

Anyway, I want to thank all of you for coming.

Anyway, take a look around. Get to know the dresses.

Anyway, the excitement still continues with me.

Anyway.

Anyway.

Are we okay?

Are you afraid of dying?

Are you afraid of dying?

Are you an appliance?

Are you crazy?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you going to make a baby with my father?

Are you kidding me? Annie!

Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. It's...

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding? It's on sale.

Are you okay?

Are you serious?

Are you serious? Oh, my gosh. What a perfect combination.

Are you sure you're not gonna come with me today?

Are you sure you're up for it?

Are you sure? It wasn't that gray kind of lamb?

Arrest people?

As long as you both shall live?

As long as you both shall live?

As well as a lifetime of happiness.

As you can see, the captain has turned on the ”fasten seat belt” sign.

As your maid of honor.

At first, I did not know that it was your diary.

At our age, it's a bit ridiculous, isn't it? Yeah.

At our age, it's a bit ridiculous, isn't it? Yeah.

At Rockin' Sushi, okay?

At the home of Helen Harris lll

At the shower. And with Las Vegas...

Awesome. Cool.

Awesome. You need a ride home later?

Baby

Be careful. What are you doing?

Because guess who Helen is friends with

Because I have been so busy organizing the shower.

Because I still need my drunken Saturday nights

Because I thought that it would be fun for us to bake together today.

Because I thought that it would be fun for us to bake together today.

Because I went to the fucking salon with her

Because I would rather get murdered out here

Because I'm good at organizing parties.

Because I'm so tough and strong.

Because if you needed to use it, how are you going to get it?

Because it's a kind of, like, I know needing it today type situation.

Because my mom is going to kill you.

Because she's realizing, Holy shit!

Because she's realizing, Holy shit!

Because you are the expert.

Because you don't know me.

Because you feel bad about yourself.

Because you haven't been returning my calls.

Because you know how much I love my bathtub.

Beer!

Believe it or not, pins in my legs, I can still do this. Right?

Belle en Blanc? This is the place. Great job, Annie.

Belle en Blanc. Reservation name?

Besides, I would never last a half hour.

Better get a little bit of ice on it.

Better?

Big whoop.

Bill Cozbi?

Boom!

Boy, she must have breezed through high school.

Breathtaking.

Brynn needs to start paying rent. That's it.

But Becca spoke so highly of you.

But he hasn't kissed me in five years.

But he's an excellent motivator.

But I can't because I have elbows.

But I didn't, okay? I didn't.

But I don't know how to say it without sounding like a dick.

But I don't want to.

But I feel like, personally, the Paris theme's

But I heard about a woman who went to the bathroom on a plane.

But I just feel like he's been distant lately.

But I just think, personally, the Fritz Bernaise is just...

But I need your help. Please!

But I still look pretty good.

But I want to see Criss Angel, but I'm scared.

But I'm happy. Can you believe this?

But I'm still gonna have to give you a ticket.

But into my soul.

But it makes you feel like shit, you know?

But it wasn't the restaurant. No, no, no, no.

But just like a fun time, you know?

But she said no.

But she's not really that into sports.

But something's going to happen to your body.

But that's okay. I'm pretty strong and tough,

But the food is really good, authentic Brazilian.

But they made a special dispensation

But they'll be better.

But what about you? What's gonna happen to you?

But why don't you just get dressed and whatever, and...

But you are like my sister, and I love you.

But you are so good at it.

But you hold on for one more day

But you hold on for one more day

But you wouldn't know anything about that,

But, because of the deep personal details

But, I mean, we are changing from who we are, which we always stay as.

But, sadly, we need to agree on one.

Butter, milk.

Butter, milk.

By the powers vested in me by the state of Illinois,

Bye bye.

Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Can I please get in the front seat?

Can this George Glass

Can we go up now?

Can you believe this? Isn't it amazing?

Can you hold on for one more day?

Can you just get dressed? We're gonna be late for the engagement party.

Can you just hold on for one second?

Can you please just pull over?

Carol!

Cast Away. Tom Hanks.

Catch you on the flip side, motherfuckers.

Check it out. Look what's steering the car.

Cheers to Lil!

Christ, Annie. Have you lost your fucking mind?

Cleaning ourselves, he's too tired.

Coach passengers are not allowed up here in first class.

Come here!

Come on in.

Come on, Annie. It's called humor.

Come on, hot dogger.

Come on, let's go say hi to the rest of the bridal party!

Come on! Come on! Come on.

Come on! Hands behind your heads! Let's go! Sit ups!

Come on! Rhodes!

Come on! You fucking freeloaders.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Forever?

Come on. Get it out, get it all out.

Come on. I didn't...

Come on. Look away, look away, look away.

Cream puffs, that's what you call them. Delicious.

Cream puffs.

Cup my balls.

Dad.

Delicious! Stupid cookie. I think I'll...

Dessert wine is out. Consuelo?

Dessert wine, yummy. Excuse me.

Did you eat one of those?

Did you forget to take your Xanax this morning?

Did you have a nice evening?

Did you really think that this group of women

Did you see how my flap opens?

Different guy. Yeah.

Disgusting.

Disney World. Disney World.

Do not come into my room, read my diary and wear my clothes.

Do this to you?

Do you have a chainsaw and a blowtorch?

Do you have any idea how crazy that makes me?

Do you have any idea how frustrating it is

Do you have any ideas of styles?

Do you like mountain biking? Uh huh.

Do you mind actually if I go by myself?

Do you think I let that break me?

Do you think I went home to my mommy, crying,

Do you want a bite of that sandwich? Feed me.

Do you want me to arrest anybody?

Do you want to go for a walk later?

Do you want to hang out?

Do you want to talk to a cop about it? We are just like priests.

Do you watch movies?

Doesn't mean that you failed at it.

Doesn't sound very inviting.

Don't be sad. Because things are going to change,

Don't be silly, just get into it. You are so good at it.

Don't be silly.

Don't ever let anyone step all over you

Don't repeat that!

Don't repeat that! I won't.

Don't sue me for touching you.

Don't talk to me about being by yourself.

Don't you dare laugh.

Don't you fucking look at me!

Don't you know things can change

Don't you know things can change

Don't you think it's worth your time to change your mind?

Don't you think that'd be nice?

Doug and Lillian.

Dougie was being great and very helpful.

Easy peasy. Vegas it is.

Especially someone you're in a relationship with.

Even when we were little, she didn't like anything

Eventually. Eventually.

Ever since you got engaged, everything has turned to shit!

Everybody always laughs at that, but I'm not joking.

Everybody go outside. I'm serious!

Everybody is in and having fun.

Everybody raise your glasses to the couple of the decade,

Everybody, go back to your seats.

Everyone, remain calm! I'm an Air Marshal.

Everything was going smoothly.

Everything's going to be okay.

Everything's gonna change.

Everything's got out of control.

Ew! You had sex with him.

Ew. Oh!

Except we can tell everybody about it after wards.

Excuse me, could I have a glass of alcohol when you get a chance?

Excuse me, my husband's kids.

Excuse me! Please!

Excuse me. Oh. Hi.

Female fight club.

Fifty eight. What's the speed limit?

Fifty five.

Firecrackers.

Flow smoothly from now on

For a grown up brother and sister to

For all of the things that have gone down.

For bridesmaids' fittings is in seven weeks.

For somebody who is nice to you.

For sure

For the record, Annie, you flirted with me.

For the shower and for everything.

Forever.

Forget it. Marvin J. Whatever.

Forgive me. It just got crazy.

Forgot to tell you. What?

Forty eight. How did you do that?

Fuck it up.

Fuck off, Helen.

Fucking Helen. Hello?

Fucking hell. All right.

Funny.

George Glass.

Get away from me!

Get back here! Stop.

Get those taillights fixed.

Get your shit together, Carol!

Get your taillights fixed...

Gil, hi. Hello. How are you?

Go away.

Go, go, go, go, go!

God damn it, that's good.

God, I feel bad for your parents.

God, I love your eyes.

God, of course I will!

God, that was crazy of her.

God, that was crazy of her.

Going to the snack bar.

Good bye, Ted.

Good morning.

Good to meet you, too.

Good to see you.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good. Great.

Gosh, and me, I guess, too, now.

Gosh.

Great, thanks. Okay.

Guess what happened to me today. Hmm. What?

Ha ha. Very funny. Can I stop walking now?

Ham nipple. Fuck it up.

Hang on. Hey!

Harry never really wants to talk to me, either.

Have a good date. Thank you.

Have a great night. Dessert wine is out.

Have a seat.

Have fun.

Have you met Lillian? She's my best friend.

Have you seen your sister's tattoo? It's really infected.

He also told you that you need dental work. He's an asshole.

He called me late, and we hung out.

He called me late, and we hung out.

He calls me dude a lot.

He goes, Mom, why don't you go and fuck yourself?

He is a very hot, nice guy

He is so hot, though.

He said, it's for free! And I said, Sure.

He told me that we are what we are

He travels a lot. Like, all year.

He was going to break up with me.

He was ignoring me and I thought

He was my boyfriend, and then he left me

He'll fix those right up for you.

He's my brother. I love him. But he is a fucking asshole.

He's nine.

He's not... I'm not... He's not... I'm not with him.

Heel!

Helen called you, didn't she?

Helen Harris? Yeah!

Helen is married to Dougie's boss, Mr. Harris. Perry.

Helen just took over everything, and

Helen, aren't you eating any meat?

Helen, it was really nice meeting you, too.

Helen, please. It's more than enough.

Helen, this is Annie.

Helen's taking me to Paris.

Hello, grandpa.

Hello, Helen. I've heard wonderful things.

Hello?

Hello? Hey, Annie, it's Megan.

Hello? I just got your e mail. Lake house?

Hello.

Hello. Morning.

Hello. Welcome, come in.

Here comes the litter bug!

Here with us tonight is Lillian's favorite band singing her favorite song.

Here, I'll take that. I'll take that.

Here's a friend standing directly

Hey, Brynn.

Hey, buddy. How you doing?

Hey, guess what. Guess what, ham.

Hey, how are you? Nice to meet you.

Hey, how did everything go?

Hey, how did everything go?

Hey, it's Lillian. Leave a message after the beep.

Hey, look. If I was drunk,

Hey, Mom?

Hey, not Air Marshall Jon.

Hey, shut my mouth. Look at... Unbelievable.

Hey, what's up, man?

Hey, you know, instead of stressing out about this wedding,

Hey, you know, maybe

Hey!

Hey! Are you crazy?

Hey! Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. How is it going?

Hey. it's great to meet you. Hey, how are you?

Hi, Annie, it's Rhodes again.

Hi, baby, what's up?

Hi, everybody!

Hi, Tyler. Hi.

Hi! Hi.

Hi! Ohh!

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Annie.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Husband.

Hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit.

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hold on for one more day

Hold you down and make you cry?

Hold you down and make you cry?

Hold you down and make you cry?

Holy shit! You look amazing.

Holy shit.

Honestly, I do it all the time. Yeah?

Honestly, I think it's Vegas.

Honestly, I think it's Vegas.

Honey, what is it?

Honey. Anytime, anytime.

How do you think I feel?

How is that working out for you? Pretty good?

How long has she been gone?

How many of those did you take?

How romantic!

How we doing tonight?

I already told her.

I am fine.

I am happy for you, Lillian. I am very happy for you.

I am Mrs. Iglesias.

I am not paying for this shit.

I am really hoping this flight is quick,

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry. I didn't mean to waste your time.

I am so sorry. I didn't mean to waste your time.

I am tough. You're tough. You're a tough cop.

I am very popular.

I assume that you're not interested

I ate Saturday.

I bet she got that car by giving your dad something sexually.

I came here.

I can put my Nano. I will show you.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe you've never been with anybody else.

I can't do this.

I can't find her. We've looked everywhere.

I can't pay any of my bills. My car is a piece of shit.

I can't protect you.

I can't say I'm surprised.

I can't say that I have.

I can't wait to be married for as long as you've been married.

I cannot wear this dress!

I could not believe it. The guy said, Do you want a tattoo?

I couldn't.

I cracked a blanket in half.

I cracked it in half.

I crapped my wedding dress. I crapped...

I did tell you to get your lights fixed.

I did.

I didn't get a chance to actually get you a present

I didn't have anyone else to call!

I didn't know that you could be a cop here if you weren't a citizen.

I didn't know that you were gonna show up!

I didn't know you played tennis.

I didn't mean to sleep over.

I didn't say up.

I do.

I do.

I don't care. I don't care.

I don't do it any more.

I don't even want to talk to you.

I don't have a cup holder. Can I just give that...

I don't have any female friends.

I don't have any friends. Megan doesn't have any friends?

I don't have any friends. The last time

I don't have one. We're just here to shop, just to try on some dresses.

I don't have... I don't have to throw up.

I don't know him. I'm sorry.

I don't know what you are getting so upset about.

I don't know what you are getting so upset about.

I don't know what's happened to her.

I don't know, after it just went under, I just, kind of,

I don't know, I just wish things were

I don't know, it's just...

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. Anyway,

I don't know. I mean, it's fine,

I don't know. I'm wearing a ring.

I don't know. It's really cute.

I don't know. She's in your wedding

I don't know. You should know, right?

I don't need a lecture from you right now, okay?

I don't need any help. I mean, who do you think you are?

I don't need you to fix me. To fix you?

I don't really care which dress we get.

I don't really wanna...

I don't think it was your fault.

I don't think that Brazilian food really gave us food poisoning.

I don't think there is a question.

I don't want that either.

I don't want to go to work today. Mmm mmm.

I don't want to infringe on your privacy, man.

I don't want to know.

I don't want to think about that.

I don't want to... I don't feel sorry for you.

I don't want you to be a big fuck up like me.

I don't want you to do that, no.

I don't... I don't know.

I don't... I don't think I'm bringing anybody, I guess.

I feel fine.

I feel like

I feel like

I feel like her life is going off

I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.

I feel really bad, Lil,

I feel so bad Annie's stuck back in coach.

I fell off a cruise ship, but I'm back.

I forgot. I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I get it. I want you to know, protect and serve

I go everywhere by myself.

I got a free tattoo. You did what?

I got firecrackers thrown at my head. They called me a freak.

I got fired from my job. I got kicked out of my apartment.

I got to get back to my seat. Could you just move your leg, please?

I got to go.

I got to know where you keep the gun, man.

I got to say, Annie's really good at this.

I got to take a whiz and I'll be right back.

I got you. I fooled you.

I guess we are undecided.

I had a dream last night that we went down.

I had fun.

I had organized everything to the last final detail.

I happened to rustle up a two year old Lady JuJu dress in storage.

I have an announcement, too.

I have been thinking about you a little bit.

I have no way of earning money,

I have six houses.

I have so many ideas.

I have so many ideas.

I have someone else I can ask, anyway. So...

I have to go to the bathroom.

I have to say hi to my aunt or she will get mad at my mom.

I haven't been sitting here that long. Oh.

I haven't seen you since you graduated high school.

I hope Lillian isn't going to be mad at me for too long.

I hope that you're all hungry for churrasco Brasil. What would you like?

I hope you don't have a salad. Oh, yeah.

I hung out with Ted for a little bit.

I just didn't want to bug you, but...

I just don't think we can do any better. This is...

I just feel like I'm excited, and I feel relaxed.

I just feel like we can top it.

I just got some pins in my legs.

I just had some thoughts about the bachelorette party.

I just happen to have this bear sandwich.

I just have a lot coming up at work

I just have too much adrenalin or something. But, thanks.

I just knew of a guy, that guy did a lot of undercover work.

I just live over on Ashley. Ahh.

I just miss her, I guess.

I just sent my measurements to France, y'all.

I just sent my measurements to France, y'all.

I just slept with a cop that pulled me over

I just want to check my tire real quick.

I just want to get his attention.

I just want to say you all look stunning.

I just want to thank you for carefully selecting me

I just wanted to say really quick...

I just wanted to talk to you guys about the shower really quick.

I just whatever you wanna... I can do...

I just woke up. Are you kidding?

I just...

I just... Helen just...

I just... I really appreciate what you do for this country.

I keep telling you, you're not supposed to go to those things.

I knew it! We had fun.

I knew it. God, those have been out for a year.

I knew that Annie was in there somewhere.

I know how guys act.

I know it looks a little scary on the outside,

I know it's a bit crazy, but I popped out

I know it's a lot to ask and to put on your plate.

I know that I hurt you,

I know that there is pain

I know this pain

I know where all the nukes are and I know the codes.

I know who this is from. I can tell by the wrapping.

I know you do.

I know you well enough to know that you're not so bad.

I know, and his parents, too. And Dougie, I guess.

I know, I love their pink berets.

I know, I miss you, too.

I know, right? Yeah.

I know!

I know.

I know. I'm so glad you guys are finally meeting.

I know. Me, too. I know. it's lovely.

I know. Sleeping at Dougie's house.

I left the rehearsal dinner last night.

I left your clothes over there.

I like hanging out with you. Oh. Yeah.

I like to say it. We are newlyweds.

I lost a lot of money.

I love hanging out with you. I think we get along really well

I love puppets. Balls.

I love that. Good idea, Annie.

I love you, Annie Lou. I love you, too.

I love you, too.

I love you.

I love you.

I made you a cappuccino.

I mean literally. I'm not saying that figuratively.

I mean, I can think of stuff, and it will be great.

I mean, I guess everybody is. I don't know. Why?

I mean, I had to fight some raccoons off.

I mean, I just don't know what could have possibly gone wrong.

I mean, I'm not going to get to

I mean, is it ankle, hip, lower back?

I mean, it's probably best.

I mean, look at him. He may not even be Asian.

I mean... it's a Bernaise.

I met a dolphin down there.

I might... I might have a question.

I need a bathroom.

I need the toilet!

I need the toilet! I need the toilet!

I never got a chance to try that fucking cookie!

I noticed you didn't put anything in the overhead bin either.

I probably wouldn't do that. I'm just trying to make you feel better.

I promise. I promise I will. I promise. Thank you.

I pulled myself up, I studied really hard.

I put a loaded gun in Dougie's carry on.

I read every book in the library. And now?

I realized this is the last time I'm going to be here

I really appreciate it. Thanks.

I really liked that original dress

I really need your help.

I said, No, we're not ordering pizza tonight.