The Martian (2015) Soundboard Edit

A full write up of everything.

Ahh! (THUDS)

All he can do is ask yes or no questions...

All the astronauts back at the same time.

Almost easier to what?

And all we can do is point the camera.

And I'll have the MMU,

And I'll survive

And I've got all my love to give

And if by some miracle, none of that happens...

And indeed, for international space travel.

And it'll be 52 minutes before intercept

And now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight

And now, me.

And poke a hole in the glove of my EVA suit...

And right now, the Hermes is headed towards you..

And sleeps somewhere in there and then starts again

And so you're back from outer space

And that's way too fast

And the MAV is gonna tip at 12.3.

And then I'm gonna make a speech...

And then if I just direct the hydrogen into a small area...

And then we just head home.

And they got a room full of people

And they nearly burned down their dorm.

And to intercept the Hermes...

And we had no choice but to abort the mission.

And we'll cancel the inspections.

And what do you hope to achieve this time around?

And you said yes to this?

ANNIE: Once Mission Control completes

Another mission?

Anyone else know a safer way to buy more time?

Anyone gets lost,

Approximately 48 minutes after launch.

Ares 5 won't even launch for five years

At the Schiaparelli Crater, just waiting.

At Waterloo Napoleon did surrender

Back it up. Look at Rover 2

Be careful out there.

Because we need to run the ship.

BECK: What about you, Commander?

Bomb set. (BEEPING)

Brace for deceleration. JOHANSSEN: two...

But "Elrond"?

But as long as I don't break it...

But he's smart enough to figure out

But instead, what I'm proposing is...

But it hasn't been very much.

But the second I walk outside, I'm in international waters.

But we can do a flyby.

But what about the Hermes crew?

Came back like a slow voice on a wave of phase

Central Standard Time...

Cheese. You do "cheese"?

Come on, guys, keep it together.

Commander Lewis took it out on Sol 17..

Commander!

Commander.

Could that detect Watney's suit?

Did he do "cheese"?

Did you think I'd crumble?

Did you think I'd crumble?

Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Do you believe in God, Vincent?

Does he have enough supplies to survive?

Drives for four hours before noon...

During the Hohmann Transfer Window

Everywhere else would go vacuo

Everywhere I go, I'm the first

FEMALE AUTOMATED VOICE: Suit breach detected.

FEMALE REPORTER: Director Sanders!

FEMALE TIMER: The tail is giving good data.

First I was afraid

Five astronauts home safe and sound.

Five guys at Caltech were trying to make rocket fuel...

For a start...

For air resistance to matter...

For as long as I know how to love

For me to pose for a photograph

From the previous mission..

From there, they will have 414 days

Get out.

God! God, God, God, God!

GUIDANCE TECHNICIAN: Working on that now, Flight

He didn't load up the oxygenator

He is under a tremendous amount of stress.

He was hit.

He's 50 million miles away from home.

He's alive and he's healthy

He's not gonna decompose, you know.

He's sticking to schedule

He's well below target altitude

Helping me with this endeavor.

Hexadecimals.

Hey, come on. What are you doing?

Hey, handsome!

Hey, he)'

Hey.

Hey.

Hone in on my suit's telemetry

How are we going to handle the public?

How bad is it?

How many samples do we need, Commander?

How that's gonna look with my spacesuit on.

I believe in several.

I can do it.

I colonized Mars.

I could tell him to take off his helmet...

I do like the way it sounds.

I don't really know what we're looking at.

I feel like I win when I lose

I have created 126 square meters of soil

I know how to save Mark Watney.

I know I'll stay alive

I know.

I know. I haven't had a shower in a year and a half.

I need hot stuff

I need the emergency contact for Vincent Kapoor

I need you to place the charge on the inner door.

I plot the course and execute it.

I should go with "High School Senior"...

I shouldn't have to answer to Vincent.

I think I can get Congress to authorize a sixth.

I tried to hold you back

I understand.

I understand. We're working on it.

I want that gap down to four minutes.

I was defeated You won the war

I was petrified

I'd never know what the camera was pointing at.

I'll find you the money.

I'll let you call Bruce, give him the news.

I'll see you in a few, Commander.

I'm definitely gonna die up here...

I'm gonna call you back.

I'm good.

I'm not gonna die here.

I'm not risking another crew member.

I'm sorry, who are you?

I've got all my life to live

If I can't figure out a way to make contact with NASA.

If it tips, you launch.

If it's mission critical, we die.

If Watney is really alive,

If we can't get Watney off the surface?

If we pass balance, we'll never rock back.

In order to make contact with us,

In order to make our launch window,

Intercept velocity will be 11 meters per second.

Is imperative to mission success

Is the probe going to be ready on time?

It has been seven days since I ran out of ketchup.

It is

It is 06:53 on Sol 19...

It's 214 meters long.

It's spinning on the long axis around a 17 degree precession.

It's the meeting where they decide

JOHANSSEN: 39 minutes, 12 seconds.

JOHANSSEN: Commander?

JOHANSSEN: four..

JOHANSSEN: Got a batch of personals.

JOHANSSEN: I'm checking.

JOHANSSEN: Velocity, 741 meters per second.

Johanssen?

Just 20 instructions in the Rover's operating system..

Just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore

Kept an ASCII table lying around.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

LAUNCH CONTROL TECHNICIAN: Launch status check complete.

Leaving Airlock 1.

Less than a minute

Let the children use it

Let them make that decision.

Let's get on CAPCOM and ask her directly right now.

Let's listen in.

Let's take a look.

LEWIS: And for the rest of you guys..

LEWIS: Beck, unhook me. I'm going after him.

LEWIS: Copy that

LEWIS: Martinez, how does it look?

LEWIS: Mmm hmm. We ran the numbers. They check out.

LEWIS: No!

LEWIS: That's an order, Martinez

LEWIS: Watney?

LEWIS: Where did you last see him?

LEWIS: Worry about that later.

LEWIS: You're a chemist.

Look, I don't mean to sound arrogant or anything..

Lotta soul, he said

Luckily, in the history of humanity...

Main engine start.

Maintain your positions at your consoles.

MALE REPORTER ON TV: There you have it.

Mark is dead

Martinez will pilot the MAV remotely from the Hermes.

Martinez, close the door.

Martinez, how long before take off?

Martinez, what if we point our thrusters

MARTINEZ: Booster separation complete.

MARTINEZ: Go?.

MARTINEZ: We've got negative contact

Martinez's personal items

Mmm hmm

Mooring clamps released

My son turned three yesterday

My, my

NASA hates fire.

NASA TECHNICIAN 2: Communication lost. Stand by.

Nine...

No, it is the worst idea. It's the worst idea ever.

No.

No.

Not a damn thing

Not that I 'm complaining

Now that we can have more complicated conversations..

Now, we don't say that's the purpose of the mission...

Now, we finished the Iris probe in 62 days.

Now, we're going too fast

Now, you can either accept that...

Obviously.

Of signal.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Okay, so, success.

Okay.

On my next transmission

On this course before it's irreversible.

Once there's a real rescue plan, we'll tell them.

Once we hit intercept,

One big bonus

One.

Open B2.

Or "coquettish ingénue."

Or send Hermes back to get him right now.

Otherwise, they'll never have enough fuel to make it home

Outside Johnson Space Center.

Over satellite trajectories and orbital adjustments.

Oxygen level...

Performance is nominal.

Prep emergency departure.

Radioactive isotope riding right behind me...

Ready to go on your command.

REPORTER '2: Mission confirmation:

Reporting debris falling from the sky.

Rich.

Right now, the world's on our side.

Roger that, Flight. Beginning launch status check.

SANDERS: Annie.

SANDERS: Bruce, what do you think?

SANDERS: How sure?

SANDERS: Rich. Yes, sir.

SANDERS: The nation was blessed

SANDERS: Yes.

SANDERS: You're going to say it's impossible

SATCON TECHNICIAN: No satellite acquisition

Say again?

Seriously, Johanssen...

So I gotta make a lot more water.

So we do this together or not at all.

So we would never be stupid enough

So, are we gonna do it?

So... Yeah...

Some cat was layin' down some rock 'n' roll

Some supplies to him next year...

Sugar?

Sympathy for the Watney family

Take some time to absorb this.

Taking a holiday from being cool?

Teddy. I'm the Director of NASA.

That we're watching this as it unfolds.

That weren't no DJ That was hazy cosmic jive

That will bring the intercept range to zero.

That's for 6 people

That's right.

That's too far.

The Ares '5 team will rendezvous with the Hermes...

The camera does spin.

The design presumes 500 kilograms

The infrared can't get through a sandstorm.

The nose airlock alone is 400 kilograms.

The other question I get most frequently is...

The particles were predominantly coarse..

The smaller ones I'll reseed,

The solar panels have been cleaned.

The thrust of the launch combined

Then we lose the crew.

There.

There's a starman waiting in the sky

There's a starman waiting in the sky

They left him there alive.

They want constant updates on every Hab system..

They won't shut up.

This isn't a JPEG

Three?

Tilting to 11 with all the gusts of wind.

TIM: Okay. Signal acquired.

Time to VAL blow after initiate?

To the Ares '5 program?

To what end? Why would he leave

Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh...

Unfortunately, during the evacuation...

Vincent, how are you?

Vincent, wake up.

VOGEL: Go?.

VOGEL: Yep.

Waterloo, promise to love you forevermore

WATNEY: "Commander Lewis...

WATNEY: "Just because I can."

WATNEY: Commander?

WATNEY: Commander...

WATNEY: I know what they're doing.

WATNEY: Let's wait it out

WATNEY: On my way, Commander.

WATNEY: Roger that.

WATNEY: Welcome to the Astronaut Candidate Program

WATNEY: Well, you'll be happy to hear...

Watney!

We don't intercept with Earth at all...

We have to remind our viewers

We would tell him to stay put..

We'll be looking into that

We'll give you a write up of what happened,

We're a public domain organization

We're at 10.5 degrees

We're gonna get there.

We're telling you now because...

We've lost it, Flight.

Well, it depends how much fuel you wanna save...

Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?

What am I missing? Why is that important?

What attempts have been made

What is it?

What obstacle?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What?

What's the relative velocity?

When this is over, I'll expect your resignation.

Where is he?

Where the hell is he going?

Which is not a word that I take lightly.

Which means it takes 24 minutes for them

Which means we need to make the MAV lighter.

While we're doing that..

Who also had copies of Zork 2...

Whoo!

Whoo!

With the positions of Earth and Mars,

WOMAN: Lookin' for some hot stuff

Wow. Good shot

Yeah, Earth and Mars are really badly positioned.

Yeah, I get to go faster than any man

Yeah, it could be the first way.

Yeah, they estimate Mark's crops will last till Sol 912.

Yeah, they upgraded their estimate

Yeah, we're working on it

Yeah, you

Yeah.

Yes.

You know what? These interviews aren't easy.

You should hang up the phone.

You were following orders.

You...

You're in a hurry.

1.

5.2 meters per second.

7... 6... 5... 4...

12 meters per second.

12 minutes.

15, 20, 30, 35..

20 seconds.

47 days to make this probe.

52.

100 grams each.

260 meters, approximate.

533 more days before we see our families again.

...pick up whatever provisions we need...

'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile

"and greater than me.

"and I'm really good at it.

"And it'll be hard talking to a couple..

"And tell them...

"And that I'm dying...

"Mark...

"on the roof of your Rover...

"Please tell them...

"Tell them I love what I do..

"We have to take turns doing your tasks.

(AIRLOCK HISSING)

(ALARM BLARING)

(ALL CHEERING)

(ALL CHUCKLING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING IN DISMAY)

(APPLAUSE)

(APPLAUSE) (PEOPLE WHOOPING)

(BEEPING)

(BEEPING)

(BEEPING)

(BEEPS)

(BLOWING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(CHIMES)

(CHUCKLES SADLY)

(CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY)

(COUNTING DOWN IN MANDARIN ON PA)

(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)

(DOOR BEEPING)

(EXHALING DEEPLY)

(GASPS)

(GROANING SOFTLY)

(GROANS)

(GROANS)

(GROANS)

(GROANS)oh!

(HISSING IN PAIN)

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

(MEN LAUGHING)

(MICROWAVE TIMER DINGS)

(PANTING)

(PANTING)

(PANTING)

(PLASTIC RUSTLING)

(REPORTERS LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIZZLING)

(SPEAKING MANDARIN)

(STARMAN PLAYING)

(STRAINING)

(TRANSLATING INTO MAN DARIN)

(VINCENT LAUGHING)

(WATNEY GROANS)

(WHIRRING)

(WHIRRING)

(WHOOPS)

(WHOOSHING)

(WIND HOWLING)